How to Write a Lead: 10 Do’s, 10 Don’ts, 10 Good Examples

  • Written By Megan Krause
  • Updated: August 13, 2024

All the best stories have a hook that pulls you in and all great content starts with a great lead.

Good leads capture the essence of the who , what , when , where , why , and how — but without giving away the entire show. The best leads are enticing. The beckon, promising the reader their time will be well-spent and sets the tone and direction of the piece.

What is Lead Writing?

Old-school reporting ace and author of ‘The Word: An Associated Press Guide to Good News Writing,’ Jack Cappon, rightly called lead writing “the agony of square one.” A lot is hinging on your lead. From it, readers will decide whether or not they’ll continue investing time and energy into your content or jump ship. And with our culture’s currently short attention spans and patience, if your content doesn’t hook people up front, they’ll bolt. The “back” button is just a thumbtap away.

So, let’s break down the types of leads, which ones you should be writing, and the top 10 do’s and don’ts. We’ll get you hooking customers in no time .

Two types of leads

Two Types of Leads

There are two main types of leads and many, many variations thereof. They are:

The summary lead

Most often found in straight news reports, this is the trusty inverted pyramid lead we learned about in Journalism 101. It sums up the situation succinctly, giving the reader the most important facts first. In this type of lead, you want to determine which aspect of the story — who, what, when, where, why, and how — is most important to the reader and present those facts.

An alleged virgin gave birth to a son in a barn just outside of Bethlehem last night. Claiming a celestial body guided them to the site, magi attending the birth say the boy will one day be king. Herod has not commented.

A creative or descriptive lead

This can be an anecdote, an observation, a quirky fact, or a funny story, among other things. Better suited to feature stories and blog posts, these leads are designed to pique readers’ curiosity and draw them into the story. If you go this route, make sure to provide broader detail and context in the few sentences following your lead. A creative lead is great — just don’t make your reader hunt for what the story’s about much after it.

Mary didn’t want to pay taxes anyway.

A note about the question lead.  A variation of the creative lead, the question lead is just what it sounds like: leading with a question. Most editors (myself included) don’t like this type of lead. It’s lazy writing. People are reading your content to get answers, not to be asked anything. It feels like a cop-out, like a writer couldn’t think of a compelling way to start the piece. Do you want to learn more about the recent virgin birth?  Well duh, that’s why I clicked in here in the first place.

Is there no exception?  Sure there is. If you can make your question lead provocative, go for it — Do you  think you have it bad? This lady just gave birth in a barn  — just know that this is accomplished rarely.

How to Write a Lead: Lede vs. Lead Origin

Which Type of Lead Should You Write?

This depends on a few factors. Ask yourself:

Who is your audience?

Tax attorneys looking for recent changes in the law don’t want to wade through your witty repartee about the IRS, just as millennials searching for craft beer recipes don’t want to read a technical discourse on the fermentation process. Tailor your words to those reading the post.

Where will this article be published?

Match the site’s tone and language. There are some things you can get away with on  Vice.com  that would be your demise on the  Chronicle of Higher Education .

What are you writing about?

Certain topics naturally lend themselves to creativity, while others beg for a “Just the facts, ma’am” presentation. Writing about aromatherapy for a yoga blog gives you a little more leeway than writing about investment tips for a retirement blog.

Lead Writing: Top 10 do’s

1. determine your hook..

Look at the 5 Ws and 1 H. Why are readers clicking on this content? What problem are they trying to solve? What’s new or different? Determine which aspects are most relevant and important, and lead with that.

2. Be clear and succinct.

Simple language is best. Mark Twain said it best: “Don’t use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.”

3. Write in the active voice.

Use strong verbs and decided language. Compare “Dog bites man” to “A man was bitten by a dog” — the passive voice is timid and bland (for the record, Stephen King feels the same way).

4. Address the reader as “you.”

This is the writer’s equivalent to breaking the fourth wall in theatre, and while some editors will disagree with me on this one, we stand by it. People know you’re writing to them. Not only is it OK to address them as such, we think it helps create a personal connection with them.

5. Put attribution second.

What’s the nugget, the little gem you’re trying to impart? Put that information first, and then follow it up with who said it. The “according to” part is almost always secondary to what he or she actually said.

6. Go short and punchy.

Take my recent lead for  this Marketing Land post : “Freelance writers like working with me. Seriously, they do.” Short and sweet makes the reader want to know where you’re going with that.

7. If you’re stuck, find a relevant stat.

If you’re trying to be clever or punchy or brilliant, and it’s just not happening, search for an interesting stat related to your topic and lead with that. This is especially effective if the stat is unusual or unexpected, as in, “A whopping 80 percent of Americans are in debt.”

8. Or, start with a story.

If beginning with a stat or fact isn’t working for your lead, try leading with an anecdote instead. People absorb data, but they  feel  stories. Here’s an  example of an anecdotal lead that works great in a crime story: “It’s just after 11 p.m., and Houston police officer Al Leonard has his gun drawn as the elderly black man approaches the patrol car. The 9mm pistol is out of sight, pointing through the car door. Leonard rolls down his window and casually greets the man. ‘What can I do for you?'” You want to know what happens next, don’t you?

9. Borrow this literary tactic.

Every good story has these three elements : a hero we relate to, a challenge (or villain) we fear, and an ensuing struggle. Find these elements in the story you’re writing and lead with one of those.

10. When you’re staring at a blank screen.

Just start. Start writing anything. Start in the middle of your story. Once you begin, you can usually find your lead buried a few paragraphs down in this “get-going” copy. Your lead is in there — you just need to cut away the other stuff first.

10 Things Not to Do When Writing a Lead Paragraph

Lead Writing: Top 10 don’ts

1. don’t make your readers work too hard..

Also known as “burying the lead,” this happens when you take too long to make your point. It’s fine to take a little creative license, but if readers can’t figure out relatively quickly what your article is about, they’ll bounce.

2. Don’t try to include too much.

Does your lead contain too many of the 5 Ws and H? Don’t try to jam everything in there — you’ll overwhelm the reader.

3. Don’t start sentences with “there is” or “there are” constructions.

It’s not wrong, but similar to our question lead, it’s lazy, boring writing.

4. Don’t be cliche.

We beg of you .

5. Don’t have any errors.

Include typos or grammatical errors, and it’s game over — you’ve lost the reader.

6. Don’t say anything is “right around the corner.”

Just trust us. We’ve seen it used way too much. “Valentine’s Day is right around the corner,” “The first day of school is right around the corner,” Mother’s Day sales are right around the corner” … Zzzz.  Boring .

7. Don’t make puns. Even ironically.

It’s an old example but it proves the point. From a Huffington Post story about a huge swastika found painted on the bottom of a swimming pool in Brazil: “Authorities did Nazi this coming.” Boo. Absolutely not. Don’t make the reader groan.

8. Don’t state the obvious.

Don’t tell readers what they already know. We call it “water is wet” writing. Some examples: “The internet provides an immense source of useful information.” “Today’s digital landscape is moving fast.” Really! You don’t say?

9. Don’t cite the dictionary.

“Merriam-Webster defines marketing as…” This is the close cousin of “water is wet” writing. It’s a better tactic for essay-writing middle-schoolers. Don’t do this.

10. Don’t imagine anything. You are not John Lennon.

“Imagine a world where everyone recycled,” “Imagine how good it must feel to save a life,” “Imagine receiving a $1,000 tip from your favorite customer on Christmas Eve.” Imagine we retired this hackneyed, worn-out lead.

What Is a Lead in Writing? 10 Good Examples of Lead Sentences and Paragraphs

10 Worthy Examples of Good Lead Writing

1. short and simple..

Edna Buchanan, the Pulitzer Prize-winning crime reporter for The Miami Herald, wrote a story about an ex-con named Gary Robinson. One drunken night in the ‘80s, Robinson stumbled into a Church’s Chicken, where he was told there was no fried chicken, only nuggets. He decked the woman at the counter, and in the ensuing melee, he was shot by a security guard. Buchanan’s lead:

Gary Robinson died hungry.

2. Ooh, tell me more.

A 2010 piece in the New York Times co-authored by Sabrina Tavernise and Dan Froschjune begins:

An ailing, middle-age construction worker from Colorado, on a self-proclaimed mission to help American troops, armed himself with a dagger, a pistol, a sword, Christian texts, hashish and night-vision goggles and headed to the lawless tribal areas near the border of Afghanistan and Pakistan to personally hunt down Osama bin Laden.

3. Meanwhile, at San Quentin.

From the 1992 story titled, “After Life of Violence Harris Goes Peacefully,” written by Sam Stanton for The Sacramento Bee:

In the end, Robert Alton Harris seemed determined to go peacefully, a trait that had eluded him in the 39 violent and abusive years he spent on earth.

Remember Olympic jerk Ryan Lochte, the American swimmer who lied to Brazilian authorities about being robbed at gunpoint while in Rio for 2016 games? Sally Jenkins’  story on Lochte  for The Washington Post begins:

Ryan Lochte is the dumbest bell that ever rang.

5. An oldie but man, what a goodie.

This beautiful lead is from Shirley Povich’s 1956 story in The Washington Post & Times Herald about a pitcher’s perfect game:

The million‑to‑one shot came in. Hell froze over. A month of Sundays hit the calendar. Don Larsen today pitched a no-­hit, no‑run, no‑man‑reach‑first game in a World Series.

6. Dialogue lead.

Diana Marcum wrote this  compelling lead for the Los Angeles Times , perfectly capturing the bleakness of the California drought in 2014:

The two fieldworkers scraped hoes over weeds that weren’t there. “Let us pretend we see many weeds,” Francisco Galvez told his friend Rafael. That way, maybe they’d get a full week’s work.

7. The staccato lead.

Ditto; we found this one in an online journalism quiz , but can’t track the source. It reads like the first scene of a movie script:

Midnight on the bridge… a scream… a shot… a splash… a second shot… a third shot. This morning, police recovered the bodies of Mr. and Mrs. R. E. Murphy, estranged couple, from the Snake River. A bullet wound was found in the temple of each.

8. Hey, that’s us.

Sure, we’ll include our own former Dear Megan column  railing against exclamation points:

This week’s question comes to us from one of my kids, who will remain nameless because neither wants to appear in a dorky grammar blog written by their uncool (but incredibly good-looking) mom. I will oblige this request for anonymity because, despite my repeated claims about how lucky they are to have me, apparently I ruin their lives on a semi-regular basis. Why add to their torment by naming them here? I have so many other ways I’d rather torment them.

9. The punch lead.

From numerous next-day reports following the Kennedy assassination:

The president is dead.

10. Near perfection.

Finally, this lead comes from a 1968 New York Times piece written by Mark Hawthorne. It was recently featured  in the writer’s obituary :

A 17-year-old boy chased his pet squirrel up a tree in Washington Square Park yesterday afternoon, touching off a series of incidents in which 22 persons were arrested and eight persons, including five policemen, were injured.

Time to Put That Lead Writing to Good Use

Alright, now that you’ve read this article, you’re going to be hooking readers left and right with captivating leads. What’s next? Well, if you want to showcase your new skills while working with top brands, join our Talent Network . We’ll match you with companies that fit your talent and expertise to take your career to the next level.

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good leads for essays examples

March 7, 2024

Writing an Essay Lead That Pops

good leads for essays examples

How many times have you sampled the first few lines of a book and decided, “Nah, this isn’t for me”? Whether you picked the book up in a store or library, or downloaded free sample online, you probably made a pretty speedy decision about whether it would hold your interest.  

The human tendency to rush to judgment

Our extremely fast-paced world has trained us to make snap decisions throughout the day, and if, for example, we’re not hooked instantly by an article, book, movie trailer, or song, we’re just a click away from another, more appealing choice. We might move quickly away from someone at a party who begins to bore us and whom we lack the patience to listen to, for even another minute.

good leads for essays examples

Because we have endless choices, we get choosier and choosier about what we’re willing to stick with. These rapid judgments might not be fair, but the “burden of overchoice” in our lives feeds our short attention spans.  

Admissions committee members are human. And the pressure of their job forces them to make very quick decisions about whose applications they will invest more time in and whose will merit only an obligatory but cursory review before being set aside as unworthy of serious consideration. 

Their reality is truly “so many applications, so little time,” which means that when you are applying to b-school , med school , grad school , or college , you have to capture your reader’s attention with the very first lines of your essay – before they are tempted to just give it that cursory read and move on to the next application. Your very first sentence cannot fall flat. It must reel them into your narrative. Every word counts.  

How to hook your essay readers from the beginning

This sounds like a lot of pressure, right? But this is a challenge you can meet successfully. Think of your lead as the beginning of a good fiction story: something is at stake here, something compelling and colorful, something with a punch. Let’s look at a few examples, and you’ll quickly get the point:

“Horns blare as tiny auto rickshaws and bicycle-powered school buses interweave at impossibly close range in the narrow streets of Old Delhi.”

“After a near disaster during my first week as a case manager at a community center for women and children, I discovered that to succeed in my job, I’d have to restrain my anger at how badly things were run in this place.” 

“My aunt’s cancer had already metastasized throughout her body by the time she was finally diagnosed correctly – too late for any effective treatment. At that moment, my interest in a career as a science researcher became much more personal.”

“From the age of seven, when I was struggling with simple math problems but acing my spelling tests and already writing simple stories, I knew I was meant to become a writer.”

Notice that three of these four sample leads are personal anecdotes. They offer no details about the writer’s GPA or technical facts about what they researched in the lab. The first lead is so colorful and dramatic that we instantly want to know more about the person who observed the scene. In every case, the lead begins a story that makes the reader sit up and say, “Ah! This is a dynamic person with a compelling voice!” 

Your goal is to write an essay that introduces you to the admissions committee and makes them want to get to know you better. You’re way ahead of the game when your essay introduction really shines.

Three components of a strong lead

A strong essay opener will include three key elements:

  • The theme or agenda of your essay, offering the first few facts about who you are, what you are interested in doing with your life/career/studies, and/or important influences
  • Creative details or descriptions
  • Energetic writing that will keep the reader engaged through the rest of the essay

Good leads connect where you’ve been to where you’re going 

Let’s look at a few more engaging first lines:

  • “It was absolutely pitch black outside when we had to silently leave our home and climb into the back of a truck, beginning our journey to freedom.”
  • “Only six months after I launched my start-up, money was flowing… out the window.”
  • “Finding a green, scratched 1960s Cadillac in a dump last summer was the moment I realized that mechanical engineering was for me.”

Wouldn’t you want to keep reading to learn the rest of these stories? I would! 

Many clients worry that these kinds of anecdotal introductions are too “soft,” too “personal,” or too “creative.” But the right vibrant anecdote can absolutely do the job of being creative, personal, and strong. A compelling lead draws your reader into your story and make them feel involved in your journey. Descriptive language can go a long way to spice up a straightforward story and help the reader follow you from where you began to where you are headed.

How to write a lead that pops

Now that you have read several great examples of attention-grabbing leads, your mind might already be busy generating ideas for your own essay introduction. Write them down. If you don’t have ideas just yet, though, that’s okay – give yourself some time to think. Make a list of turning-point moments in your life that relate to your educational or professional goals. As we have seen, these experiences can be drawn from anywhere: recent or older work experiences, your cultural or family background, or “aha!” moments. 

An electrical engineering applicant could describe the first time their rural home suddenly went dark and they realized they had found their professional calling. An MBA applicant might have had a very profound and meaningful experience offering basic financial guidance to a struggling working-class individual, prompting their goal of pursuing a career in the nonprofit sector. A law school applicant might have witnessed a courtroom scene during an internship that inspired them to pursue a certain type of law. The possibilities go on and on.

As you make your list of anecdotes, jot down as many small, precise details as you can about each memory or experience. Why was this moment important on your journey toward your dream career or school? How did you feel at that moment? How did it help shape you? What did it teach you? Were there any sensory details (sights, smells, tastes, touch) that were particularly relevant to those moments? 

Then, try starting your essay with the anecdote itself, inviting the reader to share your experience, and add color, personality, and voice.

At the beginning of this post, we pointed out how easy it is to make snap judgments (perhaps unfairly) about a book, article, film, or acquaintance you just met at a party, and to turn your attention away because you weren’t captivated instantly. We end this post asking you to think about all the times you began sampling a book or story and after the first few lines, you simply had to know what was going to happen next. You bought the book or read the story straight through. You want your essay to be one of those proverbial “page-turners” (even if it’s less than one page) that the admissions committee starts reading and can’t put down. You will have earned their full attention, straight through to the end. Once they’re hooked, you can take them anywhere you please.

Still need help finding that “hook” to open your essay? Our admissions pros will guide you to finding that perfect moment. They can help you plan and craft an application that will draw your readers in with a substantive narrative that will inspire them to place your application in the “admit” pile. 

Judy Gruen

By Judy Gruen, former Accepted admissions consultant. Judy holds a master’s in journalism from Northwestern University. She is also the co-author of Accepted’s first full-length book, MBA Admission for Smarties: The No-Nonsense Guide to Acceptance at Top Business Schools . Want an admissions expert help you get accepted? Click here to get in touch!

Related Resources:

  • Five Fatal Flaws to Avoid in Your Grad School Statement of Purpose , a free guide
  • Three Must-Have Elements of a Good Statement of Purpose
  • Proving Character Traits in Your Essays 

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good leads for essays examples

How to Use Lead Sentences to Improve Your Essay Writing

What are lead sentences and how do you use them to improve your essay writing?

Hi, I’m Tutor Phil, and if you’ve ever watched some of my other videos or read my blog at TutorPhil.com, then you probably have a pretty good idea of how to start writing an essay. You start out with a thesis stated clearly.

And how is a lead sentence related to a thesis? Put simply, a lead sentence is a sentence that opens and summarizes an essay, a section of an essay, or a paragraph perfectly.

I’d like to give you three examples of lead sentences – one for an entire essay, one for a section, and one for a paragraph.

Let’s say your professor wants you to write an essay about a movie. And you pick the movie “Titanic.”

Example of a Lead Sentence that Opens an Essay

Your lead sentence for the essay about the movie could be something like:

“Titanic is a very sad movie because it focuses on a relationship that ends tragically.”

This is a perfect lead sentence for this essay. At the same time this is also a perfect thesis.

What makes it good? Two parts. First, you state what exactly your main point is – and it’s that the movie is very sad. And second, you state why you believe the movie is sad – because it focuses on a relationship that ends tragically.

This makes a perfect lead sentence for an entire essay.

Example of a Lead Sentence for a Section of an Essay

Now, what could be an interesting section of this essay? Remember – a section can contain many paragraphs. That’s why I differentiate between a section and a paragraph.

One section of the paper could focus just on the cinematography. And it could start with this lead sentence:

“Emotional ups and downs in the relationship between the main characters are masterfully conveyed through camera movement.”

And this entire section would be devoted to just that – camera movement that conveys emotions between the main characters.

Example of a Lead Sentence that Opens an Essay Paragraph

Now, let’s zoom in even further and ask ourselves – what could make an interesting paragraph in this section?

Well, one paragraph could be devoted to camera movement during a certain scene – for example, when the ship begins to sink. And our lead sentence could be:

“Camera movement in the final scene helps intensify the main characters’ anguish.”

Please note that in each case, whether the lead sentence opens the entire essay or just a paragraph, its job is to summarize the contents perfectly.

Lead sentences really help you focus on the subject matter of what comes after them because they force your brain to concentrate on the subject matter of the essay, the section, or the paragraph.

They also allow your reader to get a good idea of what’s to come in the paragraph.

This is the structure of a body paragraph with a lead sentence:

good leads for essays examples

Here’s an example of a body paragraph with a lead sentence:

“Lead sentences are necessary in body paragraphs because they contain the main idea to be explained and illustrated in the paragraph. If the main idea is not clearly introduced, then the explanation lacks reference. In other words, the reader may follow the explanation without being clear on what this is an explanation of. To include examples or illustrations without providing a clear general idea first is also counterproductive. When the reader gets to an example, she may not understand what the example is supposed to illustrate without a general idea introduced in the lead sentence. For example, this paragraph is a perfect illustration of how to introduce a point in the beginning of a paragraph and support it with explanations and examples.”

Here’s a video of three examples of beautiful lead sentences and how they can vary in length and complexity:

How to Write a Thesis Statement – Tutorial with Examples

6 simple ways to improve sentence structure in your essays, essay writing for beginners: 6-step guide with examples, 10 solid essay writing tips to help you improve quickly, how to expand an essay – 4 tips to increase the word count.

Tutor Phil is an e-learning professional who helps adult learners finish their degrees by teaching them academic writing skills.

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The Write Practice

How to Write a Lead Paragraph that Wins Readers’ Attention

by Jeff Elkins | 170 comments

You’ve spent countless hours pondering the plot, creating the characters’ voices, and building the perfect twist at the end that will leave readers speechless. Once everything is as good as you can make it, you publish your writing and wait. . . .

But no one reads your masterpiece.

How to Write a Lead Paragraph That Wins Readers' Attention

Unfortunately, in our content-saturated age, if you don’t grab people by the throat, pull them in close, and yell, “Pay attention to me!” with your first paragraph, they won’t stick around to read the amazing story you’ve crafted.

Your Opening Paragraph Is Vital

When I was editing submissions for Short Fiction Break, if the first paragraph didn’t hold my attention, I rarely kept reading. I'm an avid reader looking for things to read. If a story didn’t keep me engaged, it had no chance of catching the attention of the average internet reader.

A scroll through my Facebook feed illustrates the problem. Here are some of the titles vying for my attention:

  • 21 Bacon Recipes for When You are Trying to Eat Healthy
  • This Game of Thrones Theory Blames Bran for Everything!
  • 15 Times Super Heroes Kill People
  • Amazing Movies Streaming Right Now!

That blog post you just published? That’s what it is competing with: bacon, super heroes, the entire movie industry, and Game of Thrones. I see the Game of Thrones headline and neurons in my mind begin to fire. “Yeah,” I tell myself. “I bet the whole crippled thing is just a clever ruse. Damn you, George R. R. Martin! Damn you and your ever-twisting plot!”

3 Qualities of Effective Lead Paragraphs

Never fear. Even with all this competition, getting your writing noticed isn’t hopeless. I fully believe good work gets read, and a great opening paragraph will help.

Here are three qualities of opening, or lead, paragraphs that win readers' attention:

1. They Are Direct

The Wild West of the internet is no place for meandering. Your lead paragraph should walk down the street with purpose. Its commanding presence should cause others to step aside because your paragraph has somewhere to be.

Attention-getting lead paragraphs paint clear, simple pictures. They are easy to read. Save SAT words and flowery descriptions of the drapes in the front room for the middle of the work. Don't dilly-dally in your opening paragraph.

Set the scene. Do it in a way that gives us an instant image, and don’t write any words readers are going to have to google.

2. They Grab Readers by the Throat

Internet readers don’t want to ease into anything. I’m not looking for a slow float around the lazy river. This is the internet; I’m probably reading your post on my phone. Give me rapids. Give me challenge. Give me conflict. Give me Jimmy Olson tied up in a corner with a bomb strapped to his chest and a timer reading 10 seconds until the end of the world.

An attention-getting lead paragraph draws readers in.

By the time a reader gets to the end of the first paragraph, they should be at the top of the roller coaster, filled with anticipation, looking down at the rush they are about to feel.

3. They Make Readers Care

Unfortunately, in our calloused age, a dead body on the floor or a couple yelling at each other isn’t enough on its own to get a paragraph noticed. Seventeen seasons of Law and Order SVU have hardened us.

An attention-winning lead paragraph must go one step further: it must make us care.

Show us a character we are intrigued by. Say something that makes us smile. Touch our hearts with a wink or a nod. Remind us that the feelings sparked by images created in our imaginations are far more powerful than the feelings forced by images we see on screens, and we will stick with you to the end of the piece.

You CAN Get a Reader's Attention

There is more competition for a potential reader’s attention now than ever before, but you can rise to the challenge and capture readers from the start. Cast aside fear, kick doubt in the face, and write a simple, emotionally engaging, conflict-filled lead paragraph that demands to be reckoned with.

Your readers will be happy to follow.

What do you find most challenging about writing an opening paragraph?   Let me know in the comments .

Take fifteen minutes to write a lead paragraph that will grab readers' attention. Revise the first paragraph of your current work in progress, or write the beginning of something new.

When you're done, share your practice in the comments . Don't forget to leave feedback for your fellow writers!

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Jeff Elkins

Jeff Elkins is a writer who lives Baltimore with his wife and five kids. If you enjoy his writing, he'd be honored if you would subscribe to his free monthly newsletter . All subscribers receive a free copy of Jeff's urban fantasy novella "The Window Washing Boy."

How to Prepare for Writing a Book: 4 Steps

170 Comments

Kobe

When I get in a writing funk, I will often sit at the computer and write opening lines or opening paragraphs. Not only is this a great way to generate ideas for future books or short stories, but it also seems to move me past the “I’m such a wannab” moment. I have collected these openings and put them in a file to “use someday.” Three short stories and one novel have evolved from this.

ellie

Emmylou is a professional spinster, a hater of men. Cocooned in her virginal bed, too tucked in to move. ‘Thou shalt not’ embroidered above her, she despises everything that doesn’t conform to her narrow view of how things should be. She lives alone in the small terraced house where she was born. Her job as a librarian is the only outlet she has, books are her friends, their smell and feel of them always brings her pleasure.

Michael James Gallagher

Nice literary start. I write pulp so this is from another world. My wife would like this start and she reads serious stuff all the time.

Joe Volkel

The pain in my arm wasn’t that intense, just annoying. I looked down and saw a small barb embedded just above my wrist. “Shit, I must have brushed up against a thorn bush.” was my first thought. As I reached to pull the little sucker out, I noticed a faint red light emanating from it and thought I could hear a very faint buzz coming from it. I pulled it out and looked at it real close, only to discover that it was some sort of miniscule missile and that the red glow was coming from a tiny rocket motor. I held it closer to my ear and what I thought was a faint buzz, now sounded like a far off collision alarm. “Damn!” I said to myself, just my luck.

Christine

Using first person works well for this. Pulls a person in right away. Maybe first person voice would always have that advantage? I think you could even tell this story in present tense if you wanted to.

Thanks for the reply. I don’t know where that stuff came from, but it was fun. Now for the rest of the story…???

EmFairley

I love it! You must continue the story, please?

M.C. Muhlenkamp

Agreed! Very engaging and surprising

engaging…

Ann

You can’t leave us hanging! Now, you have to write more about this!

Ai-tama

Engaging and interesting. I would love to know more!

Thank you all for your wonderful comments! I hadn’t really thought about how to develop this, but I will try and see what happens to him (Me??).

Alice Sudlow

This works really well as an opening paragraph. I love how it starts small, like the person’s in a normal, unremarkable situation, and then builds up to something dramatic.

I think you could make this paragraph even more intense by writing in shorter sentences as the person examines the barb. I’d suggest breaking apart long sentences and cutting out some of the “and”s and transition phrases like “only to discover.” Then it will read as a series of short sentences, like a burst of rapid discoveries, one after the other, each one worse than the last.

From the first line, I’m engaged and curious, wanting to read more. Great job!

He loves me…he loves me not… Oh, forget that nonsense! Jerilyn tossed the daisy and grabbed her cell phone. She hit the number she’d programmed in and he answered on the third ring. “Hi, sweetheart.” She fingered her turquoise pendant, his most recent gift. “Do you really, really love me?”

She heard him take a deep breath and wondered what he’d been doing when his phone rang. Hopefully he wasn’t in a meeting with his boss at this moment. His response set her worries to rest. “Of course I love you, darling. I love you to depths and heights my soul can reach and all that.” There was a long pause, then he added, “But you know I’ve asked you never to call me at work.”

“Oh…” She searched her mind for a time he might have told her that, but the memory cells came up blank.

“This is important, Destiny. I don’t want your calls coming here. Somebody may notice your number on my screen and ask questions.”

She almost dropped her cell phone. “Destiny? This is Jerilyn!” Her face scrunched up in an angry frown. “Who’s Destiny,” she demanded. There was a gasp, then another pause at his end. She could almost hear him groping at the surrounding air for an appropriate explanation. And he better have one!

Maybe how much a writer can do in one paragraph depends on how much dialogue you open with?

This is nice I like the changes that happen unexpectedly. Keep it up. More than one para though.

Thank you. If I were to share this much info all one paragraph, it would have to be straight narration — which is okay, too, in its place.

nancy

Really fun read.

Thank you. Now I’m trying to decide if he’ll go for a confession or “I knew it was you. Just a joke, dear.”

Loved the story line…!

Do you think he can talk his way out of trouble now?

Well, he could say it was a Freudian slip…Destiny is (a client, a colleague, a person who showed up in a dream that he was thinking about)…but will she believe him for long? 🙂

An interesting read. The imagery is particularly good, especially the line, “She could almost hear him groping at the surrounding air for an appropriate explanation.”

I highly doubt old lover-boy will be able to wriggle his way out of this one. 😛

Thank you. I doubt it, too. I hope Jerilyn doesn’t sound like the type who will shut her eyes to the red flags.

No, she seems like a smart gal. If she was smart enough to be worried (even if it might have been paranoia), there must have been a reason for it.

RevDr. Robert Foster, AbC, EfG

Excellent. It really drew me in.

This is great! It drew me in from the start. I love how you’ve shown us a lot about the man from his dialogue, especially bits like “and all that.” His voice is very clear, and his personality and character shine through (though not to his credit).

You’ve definitely brought us right into the action in this opening scene and given us a big reveal, which makes for a very engaging start. On the flip side, it makes me wonder what the climax will be—perhaps Jerilyn trying to figure out how to cope with this bad news? Him doing something even more drastic? If this weren’t the opening, I’d think it might be part of the climax; as an opening, I’m curious what it will build up to.

Jerilyn sounds like a likeable and sympathetic character. I love her “oh, forget that nonsense!” at the start. I’m curious now about the story of her relationship with this man—this makes me want to read more!

The idea is to start your story at the point where something changes, so I wanted to create the sense of change. You know that even if he comes up with a valid explanation now, things will never be the same again. Like opening a where something pops out and won’t be stuffed back in again.

And I wanted him to sound like he could be a brush-off artist.

I just figured out an way for him to save his bacon. He’s going to admit to Jerilyn that he owes big time on a credit card and can’t afford to pay. Destiny is a rep of a collection agency and she’s been hounding him. Understandably he doesn’t want her calling him at work. Hopefully that explanation will get him off the hook for two-timing. 🙂

Charles

I like it. I don’t want to “evaluate” your work because I’m just starting out. I see this was posted 1yr ago. Best of luck. Chuck

jim calocci

How to write a lead paragraph that will get your readers attention do not wander , you have a purpose , their retention make it clear , simple , be a politician some other time rapids, challenge , conflict , are what I have in mind Lois Lane tumbling out of a plane , oh yes please for touching hearts , making smiles , Lois Lane says , “while I’m tumbling helplessly to the earth I’m sure Clark Kent would want to be here , and clearly only make it worse”

The Moa River curved through the rainforest like a black artery piercing a dark heart. The drenching heat slithered its way into the bush plane’s cabin as Billy pointed the camera that took him to all corners of the world. Sitting in the co-pilot’s seat of a Cessna 172 Skyhawk, he set his Samsung’s shutter speed to fast while the bush plane dropped. The professional in him took care not to rest the lens on any part of the plane, and he popped it out the small window rigged to stay fully open. In his viewfinder people on the road below looked like a hodgepodge of colorful smudges on the road’s light brown surface as it snaked through a clearing and then back into the rainforest.

You have a lot of description, but what is the change or conflict? I think you need to hint at something unusual. Like, is the plane coming down as planned or is this an emergency landing? Is there some special danger or prize involved in this trip/ these particular pictures?

That comes in the coming paragraphs. I try to keep the paragraphs short. I will think on all these comments. Thanks Christine.

LilianGardner

Your first paragraph hooked me, especially the first sentence, which creates a vivid picture. Seems you’re an expert on photography, too. Have you written more of the story, or is just a pracice post? Thanks for sharing, Michael. Cheers!

Thx for the encouragement, Lillian. I am 34000 words in and need beta readers. Are you interested in a reading project in let’s say August?

Sure I am, Michael. I like your writing style and i know your story will be fab.

my email is [email protected] . The book is at the editor now and we are going through a developmental process that takes time. I can’t thank you enough for the offer to betaread. Writing a book is such a group effort.

I LOVED your description. It was vivid. But it told me nothing about Billy, except that he’s good with a camera. I want to know why I should care about his story.

I stuck to the instructions. One paragraph. That happens to be the first para in my newest novel. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I will think on what you said.

Sarah

When One of the Bottles Happen to Fall… Hands unsteady, with pursed lips and her green eyes only slits, Rachel tightened her grip on her glass bottle and secured it to the high shelf with Crazy Glue. When does one reach rock bottom? You know, the time when people say, “It can only get better from here”? What does one do when one of the ninety nine glass bottles of issues fall and shatter? Does one’s world fall apart? Rachel thought to herself, “I just hate this life”. Since finding those unworthy text messages on Mike’s phone, Rachel couldn’t help but subtly despise him. She’d been raised to keep quiet, to swallow her words before they formed a complete thought, and couldn’t let herself discuss her concerns with Mike, or with anyone. Rachel generally coped with her problems by not thinking about them. Because, if you ignore it, it will go away. Like Mom told her as a kid, when a bee buzzed around her; to stand still and not wave at it or run away, because then it will get wild. Comment, please. I’m very unsure if there is sense here.

Personally, I’d be inclined to turn things around and start with the third & fourth paragraph — rolled into one — then go back and start the second paragraph with her asking “When does one reach rock bottom?” Her gluing a bottle on a shelf doesn’t make sense without some kind of lead-in explanation. Is she saving up all her empty wine bottles or olive oil bottles or…? And why? To start off with this line and not explain what’s up leaves the reader thinking, “Huh?”

Yes, gotcha! I’m confused myself there… Thanks…

I’m gonna have to disagree a little. I do believe you need an explanation to why she’s gluing the bottle to the shelf. But that scene is so intriguing and different that I am more leaned to liking it as a starter to your story.

The fact that you asked that question at the end tells me your gut is speaking to you. Listen to it. It did take me a second to figure out what was happening, even when I read “I just hate this life” I was still struggling to understand. Is Mike her husband? Did she discover he was cheating on her? After reading the whole thing I went back to the beginning and now I understand she was trying to glue the bottle so she wouldn’t drink any more. I really like this idea, but it wasn’t clear from the get go. You want readers to understand right away.

Thank you so much for your input. I’m going to use this to make it clearer.

I love your opening line. I agree with M. C. Muhlenkamp that it’s intriguing, a curious and engaging start to the story. It’s such a great image—I can so clearly see Rachel reaching up with shaking hands to press the bottle onto the shelf.

Then again, I also agree that the image doesn’t make much sense without some further explanation, either before or after. You might consider continuing with storytelling rather than questions in the second paragraph: what does Rachel do in the moments after gluing the bottle to the shelf?

The third paragraph feels heavy on the telling and exposition. Could you show us how much Rachel hates her life, maybe by the slump of her shoulders or her weary frown?

I really appreciate the comparison in the last paragraph of coping with problems like not angering bees. That’s great advice for dealing with bees, though not such great advice for coping with problems. It gives good insight into Rachel as a character, though.

You’ve established that Rachel is in quite the dark pit, and I’m curious to know how she got there and how (or whether) she’ll get out. Nicely done! Thank you for sharing!

Jenny Johnson

Damn!!! The lady was at it again!!!

The canary yellow Post-it note attached to the windshield of his truck was the last thing he wanted to see. “Call Candace, Its very important”. With no intention of returning the call he muttered to himself “Just lose my number”.

His hand reached to grasp the note crumpling it into his fist. Nothing could be that important. Remembering the words of his friend and trusted attorney to keep his distance, not to get involved again. He had come too far to be manipulated back into the same dead end relationship. He knew her and he also knew she would not stop until she got what she wanted. Little beads of sweat popped up on his forehead and his face redder than a beet he climbed into the truck, rolled the window down,and with both hands placed a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel. Seconds later he turned the key in the ignition. The truck hummed to life as he slowly backed out of the parking space while the note fell to the floor underneath his feet.

I’m hooked. Loved that you made it super important and then he just dismissed it. It made me curious. I’d keep reading. I’d just make the writing tighter now. (The Post-it note attached to the windshield of [name]’s truck was the last thing he wanted to see…)

I agree. Very intense. Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors–especially in paragraph one.

fixed the commas thanks

fixed that one – thanks

I would keep reading. This is a great start. It makes me curious. Only one comment: (maybe I am projecting here because I am working on this right now in my work -the dreaded verb, To Be.) Could you make the first sentence without the verb to be with an action verb?

I, too, am hooked and want to know more! One little thing to think about: it feels to me like the sentence beginning with “Remembering… is either incomplete or meant to connect to the following sentence. Of course, maybe it’s a question of style? I’ll look forward to seeing more about this!

Changed the remembering. thanks

Nice! You can tell how angry and frustrated the character is. I assume Candace is an ex that has caused Jack a great deal of heartache in the past–or at the very least, plenty of headaches.

This is an engaging start to what sounds like a great story. I particularly like the first couple of lines. “Again” tells me that while this is an attention-grabbing opening for the reader, it’s not actually unusual for Jack. That’s great; it gives you time to establish what’s normal life in the story and build up to the climax. And I love the imagery of that canary yellow Post it note.

The third paragraph feels to me like a lot of exposition pretty quickly—four sentences of Jack’s thoughts in response to the note, sentences that list out a lot of the basic facts of his relationship with Candace. Perhaps consider interspersing them with action, so that he thinks these things in between climbing into the truck, turning it on, etc. Or examine which ones are really necessary as his response in that moment, and which ones are extra exposition that you could share later in the story.

You’ve got me curious to know more, especially what is “very important” and what Candace wants so much that she won’t stop til she gets it. Nicely done!

Rodrick Rajive Lal

There was complete silence, and then all the hell let loose, the roar was deafening as a huge mass of water rushed inland carrrying with it debris, fish, and all the stuff that had lain at the bottom of the ocean.The tsunami had finally hit the coast, three hours after the earthquake!

I’m gonna have to quote Jeff’s post (actually just read #3 again). I loved the fact that you started with the main conflict right away. A freakin’ tsunami! But it left me wondering still. I want to connect to the character. I need more.

Hollis Thundercroft

I met Ethan Moon in a pub on Venus and two shots of vodka later we decided we were going to colonize Neptune.

For years we saved and schemed and fought and then we found the guts to trust our friends to the stars, but it wasn’t enough.

We lost contact with Poseidon I as it descended through the atmosphere of Neptune, and all eight of them were presumed dead.

My son. Moon’s best friend Polaris Queen. Dead. There one moment, gone the next.

And as the radio silence stretched on and on, our sponsors ended the program and left us to battle our ghosts, left us to wonder what we got wrong.

Wonder what we could have done to bring them home.

Fabulous! Just fabulous! You got a killer first sentence.

This first person stuff is really selling now. I am a purest for 3rd person stories, but then my books don’t sell lol. I am reading something you might like by a new writer who just got a movie deal for a diary form Sci Fi in first person. Sleeping Giants by Sylvain Neuvel

This is a powerful read—not just a first paragraph, but a full story in nine sentences. Well done!

I agree with M.C. Muhlenkamp that your first sentence is wonderful. You’ve drawn me in from the start and set an excellent pace and entertaining, engaging tone for the whole story. That sets it up well for the hurt and poignancy of the last sentence—powerful stuff.

I love how pithy it is, no wasted words at all. I want more, but at the same time, I don’t; too much more would ruin the effect. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you very much! It does continue, but I am very happy to know that the beginning is engaging. I’ve been working on it for quite a while.

He sat close to the fire, sewing yet another piece of leather across a hole in the chest piece. Sweat rolled down his broad, muscular back, bouncing over various scars and leaving a trail of clean tan in the caked on grime. Some came from swords and knives. Other came from claws. One, near his spine, came from an axe.

The point of the needle in the fleshy part of his finger merited only an annoyed shake of the hand and a slight, “Damn it.”

A moment later, and the cuirass was held before his critical eye as he searched for further flaws. Seeing none, he nodded to himself and pulled the boiled leather over his head and strapped the piece into place. Approaching hoof beats brought him surging to his feet, drawing a broadsword as he rose.

The raven haired rider reined her horse in and swung out of the saddle. “Carter!” Her smile was infectious.

He sheathed the blade once more. “Queen Adora. It is good to see you again.”

“By Kellün’s right hand, you seem to be bigger every time we meet.”

He chuckled. “And you seem more beautiful every time I see you.”

Her bright smile at the compliment faded when she got a good look at his armor. “Gods, Carter. Why do you have such ragged apparel?”

“I can’t exactly go to the armorer when I’m attempting to be captured by Drago’s minions.”

She sat on the log near the fire where he’d sat moments ago. “How goes the attempts?”

His right eyebrow went up. “Ask my guards.”

“Looks like the standing orders are to kill the Walker of Worlds instead of capturing you.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Carter shrugged. “Maybe he’s decided I’m too scary.”

“Not enough to surrender, though.”

“Sadly true.”

“Since you’ve not been able to get yourself captured and interrogating enemy prisoners hasn’t gotten you any closer to finding Keeper Dearbhaile, how about joining my army? We could use another swordsman. Especially one of your caliber.”

“Another sword wouldn’t do you any better. I’m much more effective doing what I have been: Ambushing the ranking officers.”

“Yes, that is good, and has helped a lot, but imagine the moral boost for the soldiers.”

“How many even know what a Walker of Worlds is, much less that I am he?” Carter placed another log on the fire. “By all the hells, even I don’t know what the hell the Walker is. Nor what I do.”

She sighed. “Is there anything I could say

Loved the first paragraph. It paints a clear picture of who he is and makes me want to know more about him.

Kikku

It was by far a very normal evening. I was working a bit late in the lab and took the shortcut through the deserted corridor in front of Mr. Ellington’s room when I heard those words which would change my life forever and bring me in to the whirlwinds of a world, about which my knowledge was next to nothing-

“Kill him.”

Though the voice was muffled behind the closed door,I heard it clear and I could never mistake that particular voice. ‘May be he is not talking about killing a human being’, I tried to reassure myself. But then the voice spoke again-

“He knows too much about our dealings. And clear the mess swiftly afterwards.”

Oh my God! ‘He IS talking about killing a human being!!!’. My hands felt cold, my whole body started to tremble, I could not breath and on top of everything, I could not believe my own ears.This was not some unknown or less acquainted brooding guy we are talking about. This was a man who had been and still was our professor, a very nice man with a very friendly demeanor. He was very popular among his students too, because of his avid manner of teaching, his knowledge and his approachable behavior.

‘How is it possible! How can a man keep up such thorough acting!’…..I was hyperventilating. I did not know what to do. Should I ignore it and go in my own way as if nothing out of ordinary happened? At least I would be safe in that case. But the self righteousness in me had the worst timing sense and decided to make an appearance at that very moment. Though I didn’t know how to prove this allegation which was unbelievable even to my own ears, I squared my solders and opened my phone……

just before a strong hand grabbed me from behind…. a feeling of sharp pinch on my arm….and then…..

everything was dark.

I like where you’re going with this, but I think a little rewording would add a nice punch. I’d skip the first two sentences altogether and go straight for the kill.

I agree with M.C. Lots of potential here. Starting with sentence 3 is a good idea because you edit out those phrases that editors dislike, such as “it was.”

good suggestion!

Alec was ready. He strode into the courtyard, shoulders apart and bent on proving it. He knew fighting a two-hundred-pound jaguar for the sake of approval was by far the stupidest idea he ever had. But at this point he couldn’t back down, and even if he could, he wouldn’t want to. Even if the jaguar was his uncle.

The morning air greeted him, drenched in summer scents. As usual, uncle Lawrence was already kneeling on a rug, meditating before sunrise. Alec narrowed his eyes, watching the man that wasn’t only his guardian, but also his personal jailer.

Intriguing and well-paced writing. I don’t know about ‘stupidest’.

Thanks Michael! Would you think differently if the character was sixteen?

I hadn’t thought of age. It fits if 16 is the case.

Jennifer Shelby

I like it! I’ll second Michael James Gallagher’s take on “stupidest”, it feels awkward.

Thank you Jennifer! I’ll ask you the same question I asked Michael, would you feel the same of the character is sixteen?

Yes, everything you’ve written suggests the protagonist is in his mid-teens (well done), so the suggestion was given with this in mind.

Nice idea! I wonder if “stupidest” could be saved if this were written in 1st person?

Thanks Ann! The whole book is written in a close third person. Would the fact that the book is YA change your perspective on the matter?

Love the story-telling. It’s at a nice pace, but like everyone else has already said, maybe change “stupidest” to a better word. As Ann stated, perhaps it might work in the first-person, if that’s the way your character tends to speak.

I am going for a close third person, Wh oh is why I used that word. The main character is sixteen.

Oh, I see what you mean now! That makes some sense.

Nice opening. Unlike the others, “stupidest” works for me. Are they shifters, or mages? I’d love to read more.

Thanks RevDr! They are shifters. The book is written in a close third person and the main character is sixteen. I’m trying to weight that fact with the major dislike most everyone had with the word ‘stupidest.’

You’re welcome. Writing teenagers believably is pretty difficult if you’re not one, so good luck with that. One thing to maybe remember is they speak and act a lot differently than adults. I’m cheering for you.

Thank you! It’s been a work in progress. What’s your genre?

Epic Fantasy. What is yours?

Yeah, your paragraph had the feel. Really nice. I write YA fantasy & sci-fi. Would love to share with you, maybe trade feedbacks if you’re interested. You can contact me through my website @mcmuhlenkamp.com if you want.

Sure. That sounds fun.

This is an engaging start, drawing me in from the first lines. It also sounds like a good place to start this story, leading up to the conflict without diving into the climax in the first line.

A couple of places felt to me like telling / data-dumping exposition. “Even if the jaguar was his uncle” makes sense in Alec’s train of thought, but to me, “the man that wasn’t only his guardian, but also his personal jailer” felt clunky. Is there a way you could show us this in the next few paragraphs, or help us understand it implicitly—or even just move this statement a few lines later, so the first couple paragraphs don’t feel like excessive exposition?

I thought you captured Alec’s 16-year-old voice well here; it felt believable, and “stupidest” worked for me. Since this is close third person, you might consider cutting “He knew” in the second sentence.

You’ve got me curious, wanting to read more, and waiting to see how this ill-conceived fight turns out. Well done!

Thanks for the fabulous feedback!

Jean Blanchard

Timmy watched his father and a small girl feeding the ducks in the park. Safely hidden in the darkness of a laurel headge, the smell of cut grass and the dank undergrowth of earth, insects and litter, rose and stung his nostrils. He rubbed his eyes and his nose. The sound of his father’s voice and the little girl’s laughter ground his mind to a halt in a confusion of feelings. Disbelief, sadness, loneliness, the weight of a guilty secret he somehow guessed he could never share, rooted him as still and as pale as a statue in the dark. Then they moved off: him pushing her in a pram still talking, still laughing.

You’ve got me. Tell me more!

Thank you, Jennifer. This is the first draft of a 3,000 word short story Chap Book. Here’s the Synopsis:

Taking a short cut through the park, a troubled boy hides behind a bush and observes his father pushing a pram. The boy tells a friend, his abusive mother overhears and interrogates the boy; violence follows confrontation when the father returns home. Confessing the truth and realising the abuse of his son, the shocked father comforts the boy who joins his ‘other’ family.

I like this and want to know more. It’s interesting how this paragraph condenses what could well be expanded into a book!

This is a great start—in a way innocuous, but also laced with intensity and mystery. From the first line, I’m invested in Timmy, wondering why he’s merely watching his father rather than feeding the ducks with him.

By the fourth sentence, I’m reading a lot of weighty words, but losing the clear picture of what’s going on. I’m also a little confused by “the weight of a guilty secret he somehow guessed he could never share.” Why is it weighty, who is guilty, what is the secret, and why has Timmy guessed he can’t share it? From your synopsis, I can guess, but in this opening paragraph, I’m not yet grounded in the story enough to hold this much confusion. You might try expanding the description/action there and holding off on some of the introspection for a few lines more.

On the flip side, I love the image of “rooted him as still and as pale as a statue in the dark.” That’s an eloquent and powerful comparison.

I’m definitely concerned about Timmy and curious what will happen. Nicely done! Thank you for sharing your writing with us!

Thank so much for your kind and creative criticism which I greatly appreciate. I’ve got quite a few versions of this paragraph so here is one of the others:

Inside the darkness of the laurel hedge, unseen by people strolling by, Timmy squinted at a man and a little girl feeding the ducks. The man looked so much like his Dad; was it really his father? He recognised the blue trilby and the grey suit, but who was the little girl? What was his father doing with a little girl, throwing crusts into the water and laughing together as the ducks came quacking, crowding round, snatching at morsels. He rubbed his eyes and wiped his nose on his sleeve: it was dank and smelly in the hedge. Timmy stood as pale and as still as a statue in the dark, watching them, then took in a sharp breath as his father gathered up the little girl in his arms, tickling and kissing her, making her squeal. Quite suddenly he felt lonely and small in a very big world – and not a little jealous of the fun they were having. Then he heard, ‘Come on, Daphne, say bye bye to the ducks. Mummy will be waiting.’ It was his Dad alright. He knew his voice. Timmy watched until his father, with ‘Daphne’ safe in her pram, disappeared from sight on the other side of the park.

So sorry for my slow reply! I saw your comment, but then I lost it and couldn’t find it again.

I like this version better. I particularly like how you express Timmy’s emotions: “Quite suddenly he felt lonely and small in a very big world – and not a little jealous of the fun they were having.” This sounds like the honest experience and reflection of a small child in the moment. The version from the previous sample, “Disbelief, sadness, loneliness, the weight of a guilty secret he somehow guessed he could never share, rooted him as still and as pale as a statue in the dark,” sounded a little too mature and self-aware. Actually, I think that might be true for each paragraph as a whole: the first version sounded rather “literary,” but this one sounds like it’s straight from the experience of a little boy—a much more desirable effect in my opinion.

The string of three questions at the beginning throws me off slightly. Each question is useful, but I wonder whether it would be helpful to separate them, or to rephrase one or two so they’re not directly questions. You might use verbs like “wondered” or phrases like “confused, he watched” or “curious, he watched” to convey that sense of confused questioning without directly using questions. These are just my thoughts, of course; suggestions to play around with, and you’re more than welcome to decide they don’t work!

Thank you for sharing these two versions of your story with us! I look forward to seeing where this beginning takes you.

Thanks again, Alice. Yes, you’re right about the three questions in your second paragraph and I take that on board. And you have rightly hinted at my current dilemma in writing this short story. I am now confused about how to write it and fear I’ve made it worse, (or better) by experimenting with writing the story from each character’s perspective and voice. For example, Timmy’s story, his mother’s view and his father’s view. I really like these three stories – I’ve stopped at the mystery woman’s voice for the time being; I seem to have painted myself into a corner and feel that if I walk over what I’ve already done to synthesise these (three to four) stories, I’ll ruin what I’ve already got! Advise me please. Here are a few paragraphs at the start of Timmy’s story:

Sometimes I don’t open my eyes when I wake up because I don’t want to look. Sometimes I do, especially when I’m looking forward to school. I might be seeing my very best friend James and then I’m happy because we have fun and I do open my eyes when I wake up. Mostly I don’t. I stay in bed as long as I can. It’s mostly warm which I like. Sometimes it’s not. 74

If I open my eyes while I’m still in bed I can see the light shade. It’s a glass bowl and hangs on three chains. When the light is on it looks like a bowl of innards. That’s because it’s white glass with pink and orange blobs and it hangs over my bed. It looks like suet in the butcher’s.

And my pillow case is stiff and shiny and leaves creases in my face so I look like folded paper and the sheets are the same. I can’t move when I get into bed and have to lie on my back. That’s because I have to have hospital corners. But I turn over in my sleep. I must do or I wouldn’t have these creases in my face.

Telling the story from multiple perspectives, in multiple voices, sounds like a great experiment. And here, I’d say it’s working very well for Timmy. In these three paragraphs, I’ve gotten a strong sense of his voice and his sweet, innocent, creative, observant character. I particularly love the line, “And my pillow case is stiff and shiny and leaves creases in my face so I look like folded paper and the sheets are the same.” What beautiful imagery!

From these three paragraphs, I have just a couple words of caution. First, you may want to keep in mind as you write in Timmy’s voice that it could be overwhelming in excess. That isn’t to say don’t use his voice. In fact, you might find it works well to let his voice come through strongly a lot! It’s just a thought to keep in mind as you write (or perhaps more accurately, as you edit) to be aware of what’s helpful and what’s overwhelming.

Second, your description in this passage is thorough, but I wonder sometimes how relevant it is. In a short section like this, I don’t know—I can’t make a judgement about whether Timmy’s observations about the light shade will be useful to know later on. (They might be! We might be getting some important insight about his character to hear him describe it as “like suet in the butcher’s,” for instance.) But I would encourage you to go through and question your text: is this particular detail relevant and helpful, or does it actually distract the reader from where this story is going?

In that sense, I think the first paragraph is most helpful—we learn right off the bat that Timmy mostly doesn’t want to open his eyes when he wakes up, and that leads us to wonder why.

(Also in that sense, what is the 74?)

As far as the multiple voices go, I actually think you might be onto something by not writing the mystery woman’s voice. Her name says it all, doesn’t it? She’s a mystery, both to Timmy and to the reader (and to you, it sounds like!). It could work well to tell this story that revolves around her without ever giving her the chance to share her own perspective. We could experience all the ramifications of her actions and the confusion of the other characters without ever quite seeing and understanding her. You might try it and see how it goes.

Thank you for sharing more of your story! Good luck writing and revising!

Great post. I tried to apply info to my next travel blog, but I’m wondering which intro best meets the criteria. Please help me decide.

1) When Lewis and Clark encountered the Nez Perce in 1805, it was a meeting of the minds. Bright men on both sides shared survival secrets and technology, friendship and trust. So how did this meeting lead to Chief Joseph’s greatest sorrow?

2) Returning home from Yellowstone to Seattle, we drove off-piste a bit and took Highway 12, the Lewis and Clark Trail west, which later became the Nez Perce escape route east. Along the way, the National Parks displays reduced us to tears over how the brilliant Expedition eventually led to the death of so many brilliant Nez Perce. It didn’t have to end that way.

Perhaps number 1, though you’ll have better luck working the greatest sorrow bit in as the first sentence. You’ll have to do some reworking to make it fit, but it will hook the non-history buffs who would otherwise stall on the facts of the first two sentences.

Thank you so much, Jennifer. I think you’re right. And you know my audience–non-history buffs.

Charlene Gibb

Jeff moved to the front door and set the green duffel bag down at his feet, placed a well worn loafer on top of it and leaned an arm on his knee. Some may have thought this too casual a pose for the circumstances, but this was how Jeff thought best – his body relaxed in order to let his mind do all the work. He removed his baseball cap and ran his hand through his hair as he studied Karen through the screen door. He was grateful that she was here and he doubted they could have reached this point without her unwavering support over the last few weeks.

Karen had moved from the front stoop to the porch swing. Jeff noticed the other, smaller bag was tucked discreetly under the plastic table next to where she sat, rocking slowly. Jeff thought she looked as forlorn as he felt. She was transfixed on something down the street and he look but saw nothing. Karen’s just as lost as the rest of us. It distressed him to consider what was going on inside her head – surely nothing that had not passed through his own in recent weeks – but it was better to study Karen than to observe the anguish happening in the living room.

Gary G Little

Remove the phrase beginning with “placed a well worn”, and the second sentence. Start the last sentence with “He doubted”. Just a suggestion.

This is a quietly powerful start to a story. The actions—moving to the front door, setting down a duffle bag, studying Karen’s slow rocking deliberately not observing the anguish in the living room—subtly hint at some major angst and drama.

My best advice is just to tighten what you have here. The sentence “He was grateful that she was here and he doubted they could have reached this point without her unwavering support over the last few weeks” throws me off a bit; it feels like telling/exposition that tries to pull me away from the beautiful showing and subtlety of the piece. You might try breaking it up and combining the pieces with other sentences, something like: “. . . he studied Karen through the screen door, grateful that she was here.” and later, “He doubted they could have reached this point without her unwavering support over the last few weeks. Still, she was just as lost as the rest of them.”

You’ve got me curious, and, honestly, a little down, wondering what’s going on in the living room and why all these duffle bags are packed. I want to know more! Well done, and thank you for sharing!

Thank you so much, Alice, for your review and your suggestions are good ones. I wrote this about 13 years ago and gave up rather quickly on it. But, I saved it for a reason – I am hoping to one get return to it and make it a short story.

I am currently taking a more serious approach to my writing than I had back then. I am writing a suspense novel. From the critiques I’ve gotten from family and friends, it seems I am on the right track.

Thanks again for your comments. They are appreciated.

Eyes darting to and fro, hands rubbing, washing, always moving, Dr. Gerald Armenter was a very disturbed person. One year ago, he had not been like this. Armenter had stepped up to take charge of what was then called the Lost Tribe project. He was poised, confident: the epitome of self-assuredness. His group had just made contact with another intelligent race, so close to humans the differences were trivial. It proved the parallel development of two species. Now Armenter wanted the President to nuke the damn thing.

Member of the Tribe

Gary, that was really well done. I got a picture in my head of what this species could be and then immediately became interested in why they need to be nuked. It gets the mind to wonder about possible conflicts, twists and turns immediately

I love how you tell of the good doctor’s fall from a confident man to a paranoid shell of what he once was. Sort of spooky, very interesting–I’d love to read more.

Miss E

As I stumbled up the road, bones aching and muscles crying, I caught sight of something on the horizon and I squinted to make out what it was. When I dragged my feet a few more meters forward my eyes widened and my pace quickened. The shadow on the horizon was a town! My eyes closed and I imagined the feeling of fresh, cold water trickling down my throat and my tummy rumbled at the thought of food; the first it would have been given in days.

Reaching the outskirts of the town sent a shiver down my spine. There was no one around, no activity at all. The further into the small town I crept, the more signs there were of a hasty departure and my brain thought up a bunch of things that could have happened to make a whole town leave so quickly. It was then that my ears pricked up and I whipped my head around towards the sound. It was like nothing I’d ever heard of before, a kind a deep, guttural growl mixed with the raspy breath of someone who was suffering from an asthma attack. Another shiver made its way down my back and I turned forward again, hurrying towards what seemed to be a general store. As I looked through the contents of the shop my mouth salivated and my tummy growled like a beast and my hands shot out to grab the closest source of nutrition. There was another alien sound, this time behind me and I spun around. My jaw seemed to unhinge itself and my eyes grew to the size of saucers as I took in the sight in front of me. The beast was huge, bigger than any other mutated creature I’d come across in my previous adventures. It’s claws looked like they could fell a tree and the teeth, well I was imagining myself in very small pieces if I couldn’t wriggle my way out of this. Then I felt the excitement and adrenaline coursing through my veins, like a roaring sea caught up in storm, and I was once again thankful that the last thirty mutants I had come across weren’t any match for me. Let’s do this.

I’m new in the group. Thank you for a great article! I thought I’d try this paragraph:

3am. Elaine Paxton labors up a hill in Marseilles. Her head is bent with purpose. Her life is on the line. If Lucien ever found out. She must avoid witnesses. Taking a cab, even a bus, might attract attention. Lackluster, nondescript clothes camouflage her, a shadowy, moving extension of the walls she huddles against. Not that it matters. No one is around, not even le boulanger.

Facing the low-income housing complex, “Paradis de la Mer,” she thinks aloud, “Seaside Paradise?”…The only resemblances this place has to the sea are dampness and the smell of rotting fish. She scans the walls and shuttered windows, reaching for her flyers and some glue. Distraught, with frazzled nerves, her mouth is as dry as her need for justice. With no water, revenge will have to do.

Mariana Hernández

I want to keep on reading! You did it!!!

Thank you, Mariana!

Just a question, aside from this text: can someone tell me how to add italics to the text? (the original Word document had italics, and they’re not showing here)…(I’m using a Macbook pro)…thank you!

Bracket the text with . and . Remove the periods. You can also replace em with i.

. Thank you

Thank you! There was a learning curve…but finally got it!

This was pretty intense, and I love the fact that you used the oh-so-scary third-person, present-tense narrative that so many writers are generally unwilling to try. I would love to read more!

Strong. I would go with Purpose bends her head ( some such other way of saying it). Ugh! the dreaded verb to be.

Thank you! It’s true I was trying to find a way to deal with “to be” and hadn’t found a good solution. How about: Purpose weighs and bends her neck…? Or: The weight of purpose bends her head…? Or: The yoke of purpose bends her head…?

any of those is better from my perspective

Thank you! I have another one: The burden of purpose bends her head… I think I’ll go with this!

I’m going wild, now! Just thought of another: Her head bends beneath purpose. Going to edit again…

This is definitely engaging, and gets me curious to read more—you’ve definitely picked a good place to start your story. I can feel the intensity of the moment, and I want to know what Elaine’s doing and why she has to sneak around—and why her life is on the line, to boot.

The last two sentences don’t quite work for me. “Distraught and frazzled” modifies the subject of the sentence, which here is “her mouth.” I suspect Elaine herself is distraught and frazzled, not just her mouth. And I wonder how a need for justice can feel “dry.” (On the flip side, “Her head is bent with purpose” doesn’t bother me; it’s good to avoid passive voice, but you don’t overuse it in this paragraph, so I don’t mind it in this sentence.)

Well done on an intriguing start to a story that makes me want to keep reading! And welcome—we’re very glad you’re here!

Thank you, Alice! This paragraph has already been re-written…but the last two sentences are still there, so I’m very grateful for your comment. The idea was that nervousness made her thirsty, and she thirsts for justice. I’ll have to figure out how to make that clearer!

I changed the last two lines: Thirsty, her mouth craves water, as she yearns for justice. She has neither, so revenge will have to do. Thanks again, if you have the time to look!

I like this paragraph and the descriptions. I can picture Elaine Paxton and connect with her feelings. Well done!

faCaldara1 .

Michael stands in front of the house he shares with his girlfriend, Sally. It’s the last house on a dead end road. He was told at one time the road wound over the mountain to the next little town, but when the highway was built it got cut off. It’s a nice old house, with a low stone wall and lavender Rose of Sharon trees in the front. South side of the house was a flower garden, past the flower garden and the wall was old Mr. Stevenson’s house; empty since he had passed away. On the north side was the driveway and forest beyond that. On the back side the forest came almost right up to the house. Michael walked into the front door as Sally was getting ready for work as a waitress at the diner 5 miles down the highway. “I thought we talked about this, Sally.” said Michael “You said you were going to quit your job.” “No, Michael, you said I was gonna quit my job. I never said any such thing. Who do you think you are that you can tell me what to do?” “I’m your man.” yelled Michael “And when I tell you to do something you do it.” “Bullshit, I’m not that meek wife you were married to. I have my own mind and I will do what I want.” “That “meek wife” knew better than to disobey me. When I tell you to do something, you better do it.” “Disobey you?” said Sally “What do you think this is? The Middle Ages? I think you better leave Michael. I will not put up with that shit.” “Oh, you won’t?” said Michael. “No I won’t. And don’t give me that crap about not giving me anymore money. You don’t have any money, it’s all gone. You know it, and I know it.” “So, that’s it! All you wanted was the money I would get for my half of the house when I divorced Alex!” Then Michael looked at Sally and she was never so scared in her whole life. The anger in his eyes was terrifying. He started advancing toward Sally and she thought she was going to faint.

I’ve never done a writing prompt on here before, but here goes:

Chrystephone felt at peace here in the meadow of lush, green grass. A rainbow of wildflowers spread as far as she could see, filling the air with the refreshing scent of nature. Though she’d never physically been there before, she knew this place. It always happened here, and the dream almost always played out in the same exact way:

She would hear footsteps from behind—the sound of leather sandals brushing through the grass. When she turned toward around, she would see that they belonged a tall, beautiful woman with caramel-colored hair. The most frustrating part was that she could never really see her face clearly, as though she was looking at her through a foggy glass, like some distant memory she tried desperately to call back; but Chrystephone was sure she knew who this person was, beyond a shadow of doubt. As strange as it may sound, she could tell who the woman was by her scent: the same scent as the red sash she always had with her. This woman was her mother.

But of course, it was impossible. Papa had told her that she’d lost her mother not long after she was born, and she of course had no memory of her—that’s how she knew for sure that it was all a dream, sweet as it may have been…

This is great—your clear, powerful imagery immerses me in the scene from the start, so I feel like I’m standing with Chystephone in this beautiful, ethereal meadow.

I’m usually not a huge fan of dream sequences, but you’ve made this one brief and given it a mysterious twist at the end, which kept me engaged and propelled me forward to read the rest of the story. That said, I think there’s some wordiness and repetition in the second paragraph that could be tightened, especially in the third and fourth sentences—”Chrystephone was sure she knew who this person was, beyond a shadow of doubt. As strange as it may sound, she could tell who the woman was . . .”

It’s the third paragraph, though, that really makes me want to keep reading; you’ve set us up with a quiet, calm, and peaceful scene with an underlying mystery, and I want to know more. Well done, and thank you for sharing your writing with us!

Wow, thank you very much! I actually hadn’t realized that when I typed the second paragraph–I think I was mostly rushing, given the fifteen minutes I tried to write it in, and the fact that I was honestly too lazy to edit. I’ll keep that in mind, though. :3

Ashley Perez

For most of my life I questioned my existence- not the existence of man’s life, only my own. Why was I here? Did I serve a purpose? Where exactly should I be? More often than not these thoughts were accompanied with a case of beer or maybe a bottle or two of hard liquor. I was good at drinking, so good in fact that many now lost friends and estranged family members accused me of being an alcoholic. For years I’ve fought everyone but now, sitting here alone on the beach, I feel they may be right. Surely my education, wealth and expensive lifestyle made me okay I thought. But… maybe those things made my drinking worse. I squished my toes into the damp sand one last time, stood up and gathered my shoes and other belongings. In the distance I noticed a group of men and women celebrating some sort of occasion on a nearby pier. It was quite opposite of my melancholy demeanor. In an attempt to alleviate the tension of my thoughts I sighed loudly and dramatically, raising my arms toward the sky, possibly with the idea of petitioning for change. That’s when I saw it, a large orb breaking the Earth’s atmosphere and descending into the Pacific Ocean. It’s iridescent glow was both beautiful and frightening. I looked toward the celebratory crowd to gain their reaction. There was none. It seemed, from their lack of acknowledgement, nothing had really happened. Bewildered with this response, or lack of, I questioned my sanity. Was my sullen attitude now affecting what I saw? “Hey buddy,” said an unfamiliar voice, “nice night, huh? Anything exciting going on around here?” Did no one see what I saw? “Not much really,” I lied, wanting to keep any possible conversation at bay. “So, uh, you’re Evan right?” the stranger asked. “Yeah”, I answered slowly, puzzled. Though I usually can recall a face almost instantly, his escaped me. “Do I know you?” “No,” he responded with a smile, “But you will.”

Steven Otto

To me, it was all going to go down in sixty seconds. I would have picked up the phone to call 911 but that would have taken twenty seconds just to dial it and then there would have been no more time left. I’ve wasted another five seconds thinking about it. Out of instinct, I grabbed for the bat. He was still on the ground, but I had to make sure he’d stay there. I whacked him on the head four times before he could even stand up. I assumed four was enough. Now I’m the one awaiting trial.

Georgina

The package sat well obediently on the passenger seat. It was uninvited, as usual Aariel bored being it monday entered her cubicle to find her desk busy with a neatly packed package. A dash of excitement coursed through her vein watching the package there certainly it had to be a lovers gift. Like a starved teen she hurried to open it before she could do just that an envelope ended in her hand from her colleague Lyra mentioning her to be kind and place the delivery to some random guy name Raynold Dean. She had to be good but the package looked tempting right from the beginning. Was this for her boyfriend? She ran ample of questions in her head and the curiosity to open the package was working ten folds by now. Aariel kept reminding herself she was a good girl and did good things but it was still tempting. Giving in on her temptation she parked her car, tore open the package. It was beautiful, an Amethyst carefully conserved into tiny diamonds circling around it threading it into a angelic pendant with gold chain attached. Aariel was dazzled by it, she carefully picked it up and distinct lights emitted from it making her blind. Her view was blocked with strong lights of different color. She couldn’t see, for a minute she almost believed she had gone blind.

Jimena

The soft but annoying tone pinballed through my ears. I hated it. But I couldn’t bring myself to put the phone down. The truth was that I just wanted to drown his last sentence with the monotonous beep that came out of the phone. “Not anymore.” I pressed the phone harder against my ear, trying to muffle it out. “Not anymore.” Streaks of salty tears ran down my cheeks. I started to imagine that the phone was howling because it felt bad for me.

Banana Boat Charlie

The Parsim City Hospital was a white page, a paper model for the people that ran through it like worried inks. It showed off each person, each hairstyle, each parade of rainbowed clothes. It was all so clear, so bold, that the girl’s eyes ached. And yet there was a gap.

LaCresha Lawson

This is hard….this is hard…………

I never thought I would get this far, to be honest.

Didn’t think I would be standing in the hallway in my senior year, didn’t think I’d still be alive. But there I was, still pitching, still making decent grades. I mean, when seven people in your family die before they’re out of high school, you start thinking maybe you won’t make it too.

But there I was, March of my senior year, and for a couple of moments I had started to believe that I might make it.

But that was before today.

This is a strong and engaging start to what sounds like a great story. Your first line has me hooked from the very beginning, wondering where “this far” is and why “I” never thought they would get there.

You’ve included just enough exposition neatly without making it feel like telling or running too long. The voice of the narrator is so clear, and sounds like a person I want to keep reading about.

I’m torn about the last sentence. On the one hand, it’s definitely dramatic, and brings us up to speed, ready to dive into the story. But it also feels a little cliché. Making it more specific (not “before today,” but “before Timmy fell in the well” or something) might help. Or it might not; just something to think about.

You might also consider varying your sentence structure; three sentences start with “but.”

Overall, though, you’ve got me curious and engaged, wondering why so many people aren’t surviving their high school years, and ready to read more. Well done!

scott miner

This is the opening to a story I wrote for a NaNoWriMo challenge (an embarrasingly long time ago)

Funny the things we remember,and when. Right before he was shot, Chris Vu thought about the day he saw his father wearing a blond wig and a dress. “You? You don’t have the nerve!” Probably not the smartest thing to say, practically goading somebody into firing, even if they weren’t planning to do so, but given the circumstances, he could probably be forgiven a lapse in judgement.

I love your first couple of sentences! The juxtaposition between a father in a wig versus someone being shot and the casual tone of the first sentence have me engaged from the start, anticipating a story I’ll thoroughly enjoy.

I’m not sure how the dialogue connects to the first paragraph; I don’t have a good image in my head of what’s going on. You might consider making that transition clearer, or at least making it very clear in the next few sentences where we are and what’s happening. The last sentence is a little long and wordy, but I LOVE the lighthearted tone.

I have no idea what’s coming, but I definitely want to read more. Who’s shooting Chris Vu, and why, and why do I want to laugh as I read about it? I hope you finished the story—and I hope that blond wig and dress made another appearance!

Alice, thanks for your comments. To be honest, I’ve added and deleted the lines after “blond wig and a dress” to set up the confrontation later on in the story. I’m torn between having him be shot and facing down an assailant with a gun, that’s why the dialogue references “You don’t have the nerve”. I get that you find the scene humorous, but it’s based on a true story, and is explained in the first chapter. My story contrasts the immigration ( always a hot topic) experiences of two boys, one Vietnamese and the other Mexican who become friends and take divergent paths as they grow up. Thanks again for your comments, I appreciate them.

Scott, thank you for sharing your larger vision for this piece. What you describe sounds like a powerful and worthy story.

From the short piece, I envisioned a happy ending, or perhaps the dark humor of something like Catch-22 . I consider it most helpful to you to give my honest response as a reader, and taken alone, this opening did make me smile. However, I suspect that my response would be different in the context you’ve now given, and the early smiles would make the later conflict more poignant.

If you were to tell this story with dark humor, I think you could do so successfully. If that’s not the case, however, I think this will still be an effective opening. I’d suggest keeping the tone in mind as you tell it—but I also suspect that’s worked itself out as you’ve written.

I hope my comments did not sound flippant or disrespectful in any way; if so, I sincerely apologize. I stand by my original statement that this sounds like the start of a story I’ll thoroughly enjoy, although perhaps in a different manner than I anticipated. Thank you very much for sharing this piece with us on The Write Practice.

Since I posted my paragraph all those chapters have been deleted. It wasn’t that many and it was also going no where. It felt wrong. so this is my new lead paragraph. “Alex, you have got to leave that man! I mean for heaven’s sake, look at your arms!” said Callie gesturing to Alex’s arms which were covered with inflamed red bumps. “You have never had hives in your life and now you have a panic attack and break out in hives at the thought of going home?! What the **** has that man been doing to you?!”

Stella

The team was back. All but one. One was never coming back.

Something whizzed over her head. She ducked just in time to avoid having her glasses knocked off. Its thrower waved in apology.

“Come on Ms Morgan, join the party!”

The team was back. That was cause for celebration, wasn’t it? Should she join them, and treasure this time of fun until they discovered the truth? Or should she tell them now, and ruin the party for everyone?

Shelby would know what to do. As much as Kendall doubted her abilities as a waitress, she had to admit that Shelby possessed a certain flair with social situations that she herself lacked.

The team was back. How could she tell them that one was never coming back? And yet, how could she not tell them? How could she not remember, every time she went into battle?

Kendall wished she could be someone else, anyone else. Even Shelby.

Shelby wished she could be someone else, anyone else. Even Ms Morgan.

Sure, her boss had several unpleasant qualities. Chief among them her inability to ever enjoy herself. Here they were at the biggest celebration they’d had in a year, the first time all eight of them were reunited. And what was Kendall doing? Standing at the edge of the room, arms folded, as the party unfolded around her.

But for all her flaws, Ms Morgan was decisive. Whether they were facing a new opponent in battle or Chase setting the oven on fire, Ms Morgan always seemed to know what to do. Now, if Ms Morgan had an overbearing father who was pushing her into business school, she would certainly know what to say.

Although maybe even Ms Morgan had her limits, given how she was doing absolutely nothing to stop Chase and Tyler’s budding test-tube-juggling competition. This could only end in –

“Argh! Sorry, Koda – you alright there, mate?”

Ms Morgan seemed to have awoken from her trance. There was that familiar dangerous gleam in her eyes as she strode towards Chase and Tyler.

Time to make herself scarce.

Half an hour later, the fragments of glass were mostly gone, but Shelby had a new problem on her mind. She approached Chase, who was shaking the last shards out of his broom.

“Something’s wrong with Ms Morgan.”

“You think? She docked me two weeks’ pay just for one little test tube!”

Perhaps this wasn’t the best way to start the conversation. “No, I mean – don’t you think she wasn’t as angry as usual?”

Chase didn’t look impressed. “She looked plenty angry to me.”

She’d approached Chase because he’d known Ms Morgan the longest, but she’d forgotten how childish he could sometimes be. She tried one more time.

“Could you stop feeling sorry for yourself for ten seconds and listen? You’re not the only one who’s an expert at annoying Ms Morgan. We both know exactly how angry she gets.” Turning up late for shift was three days’ cleaning duty. Pestering her to go on digs was a week of working shifts during lunch rush. Breaking a test tube in a juggling competition should have been a month’s pay and suspension of cell phone privileges, at the very least. “And that there, that was nothing.”

Chase snorted. “You think that was nothing, you’re welcome to swap your next paycheck with mine.”

“Forget it.” Chase was clearly too sore to see her point. But she could tell Kendall was going through the motions. Something else was on her mind.

Shelby glanced again at Ms Morgan. Her boss was never exactly outgoing, but tonight she seemed even more withdrawn than usual.

Bruce Carroll

Here is my top contender for the opening of my current WIP. I’m not married to it, by any means….

“What’s it to you, Chink?” Rachel bellowed. “Chink is a derogatory term for a Chinese person,” Akiko said calmly. “My ancestors were Japanese. If you’re going to insult me, call me Jap. Or Nip, if you prefer.” Akiko couldn’t see Rachel, of course, but from her silence she guessed the girl was confused. Rachel wasn’t clever enough to actually be pondering Akiko’s words. “You don’t know that,” Rachel shrieked. “You don’t know anything. You can’t even remember your parents. Retard!” “Again,” Akiko asserted, stepping closer to the sound of Rachel’s voice and her unwashed scent, “use appropriate insults. Please.” “Retard! Blind retard!” Akiko could sense in her gut what Rachel would do next. She could sense it before the rustle of clothing and the slight but distinct force of moving air gave it away. Rachel was lashing out, with both hands in front of her, and although Akiko couldn’t see her, she knew Rachel was most likely trying to shove her with both hands. Akiko sidestepped quickly. She heard Rachel huff as she fell on the ground. She heard the snickers of the onlookers. “That was mean,” Rachel said. “Agreed,” said Akiko. “But I forgive you.”

Diamond Fox

One shot. Two shots. Three shots. Then he kicked him in the groin for good measure. “You killed Monte! Man, you killed Monte!” Theodore shouted at his cousin and fellow Villa Heights crew gang member. “I don’t give a shit. He called me a liar and quiet is kept. I ain’t no freakin’ liar, bet.” Jermaine said, taking Monte’s cash out of his jeans. “Let’s go, idiot.” They ran before the cops came and it was dark. The only witness was the ho down the block who liked to give bj’s for crack rock. He would give her a twenty-ten ten to shut the bleep up.

The murder was mentioned on the six o’clock news the next night. No witnesses, the cops were swarming the block for weeks then a new case took over. Monte’s parents wore black lives matter teeshirts. But since nobody saw a white cop do the shooting, nobody gave a damn. Another unsolved black on black crime in the heart of Chicago.

Matthew Pollak

Through the broken car window I could hear the screams of people running away, but they were only echoes. They were drowned out by the deafening bang of the explosion resounding in my head. Of what had just happened, I knew three things: I knew that one moment Jaxon and I were driving to my parent’s charity gala, and the next we were speeding down the road in the opposite direction. I knew the gala was the target. My mom and I were speaking on the phone before the line went dead and the bomb went off. And I knew it was all my fault.

BP

WOW! You have my full attention! You really reeled me in with “…speeding down the road in the opposite direction. I knew the gala was the target…before the line went dead.” And the last sentence sealed it for me. Now I want to read more!!

Of all my openings this I believe to be my personal favorite. It is simple, but has the bite of truth. I saw these two as I wrote.

She who must be obeyed nagged him. Miss Martha, his health care nurse, looked at George with determination in her eyes. “You need the walk. Besides, Charlie would want you to,” she said.

“Now that is not fair,” George answered, “using Charlie like that.”

“If it keeps your butt moving, Charlie wouldn’t mind, and you know it.” Both of them looked at each other and chuckled.

“S’pose you’re right,” George agreed, plopped his cap on his head and opened the door.

Jeff Elkins

I love the opening line “She who must be obeyed nagged him.” It set a great start to the piece.

Sebastian Halifax

The doors burst open. A cloaked figure entered the chamber. From behind him armed men came. Clad in ringmail, they leveled their crossbows at the surprised occupants. “What is the meaning of this?” A man stood, clearly armed with more pride than sense. “Do you know who we are?” “Oh, I know you very well.” The cloaked figure said, removing his hood. He reveled in their surprise. “Kill them.” The thrum of bolts thrusting from the crossbows and piercing flesh filled the room. The man replaced his hood, then signaled the men to follow him. “The finale of my vengeance is about to begin.” he said. “Our noble queen shall be avenged.”

Azure Darkness Yugi

A handsome woman. Sarah would never though she’ll live so see the day. She’s glad she accepted her friend’s invitation to go to the gym. Sarah know her friend’s intentions. Checking out hot guys. She was never attracted to muscular men. Because she saw them everywhere and became bored with it. She tried seeing other types of men, but they don’t catch her interest. There was that time during high school when she dated a girl named Claire. But lost contact with her after high school. “Wait.” Sarah thought “she looks familiar.” when they locked eyes she knew. That’s Claire and she can’t wait to “catch up” with her.

When I look at from a macro level it is a good start. You set the scene and characters so that the reader could get comfortable with them.

But … coming back to micro, the constant fluctuation of tense is disconcerting. The first two sentences bounced from past to present to future in head twisting rapidity.

I don’t work well with a fifteen minute time limit.

I use the 15 minutes as a rule of thumb. I’ll write for 15 minutes, but I may take a few hours to edit.

Okay, thanks for the tip.

And don’t forget, you can always go back and edit.

I could only find some one liner or two…I’ll keep at it. Below are 2 “hooks?” **** We all heard the saying ‘Finders Keepers’. It’s a bonanza for the finder but in Joan’s case, she doesn’t want to be the keeper of that find. **** Today’s forecast will be sunny with a high of 80 Fahrenheit with some light showers in late evening…and death.

Kate

She didn’t mean to hurt the cat. She didn’t mean to… kill it.

It was a beautiful day. She spent the afternoon reading in her favorite tree out front. Its bent branches were easily climbable, and the gentle movement of the soft leaves soothed her. She could sit there for hours, letting the wind playfully tug at her hair. That’s what she was doing when she heard a soft buzz next to her ear. She ignored it until it grew loud enough to tear her eyes away from the enthralling story she held in her hands. She angrily swatted at the noisy offender, and the bug floated away in a different direction. Annoyed, she shifted her position and started to return her focus to her book. She eyes didn’t make it back down to the page. Startled, her breath caught in her throat. A cat was sitting on the branch in front of her, only a couple feet away. The sun shone through its dark coat, illuminating every hair. There was almost a halo of light around it. She hesitantly let her breath out, and slowly outstretched her hand. The cat cocked its head at her, contemplating. A strange feeling came over her. She desperately wanted the animal’s approval. Its umber eyes stared at her; judged her. She leaned forward to move her hand closer. The cat’s eyes narrowed into slits. It stepped away, back arched. It was giving her every warning sign, but she wasn’t paying attention. She had to touch it. She crawled onto the branch, ignoring the bark digging into her palms. Just a little closer… She stretched her arm out as far as it would go, inching her fingers closer and closer. Her fingers finally brushed up against the top of its head. She was so happy for a moment, then very, very afraid. It burned. She felt her hand burning and she could feel the cat burning and it was hot, so, so, so hot and then she was slipping and falling down, down, down, and there was pain in her back and then there was nothing.

Her parents didn’t understand what had happened. Her mother found her lying in the cool grass under the tree in their yard, a book lying next to her on one side, and the burned, blacked body of a cat on the other. Her dad said that is was a freak accident, that they must have been struck by lightening, that it had been a little cloudy that day, so it was the only explanation that made sense. Her mother accepted this as the truth. They were glad that she wasn’t hurt badly. Her back was a little sore but everything else was fine. Her hand was fine. She had felt it burn but it wasn’t burnt. The cat was not so lucky. It was gone now, taken away by animal services. She couldn’t get the image of its twisted black body out of her mind. Thinking about it made her mouth turn bitter. Somehow this was all her fault. She didn’t know how, but it was. It was no longer a beautiful day.

Ishu Shankar

“Count down… My life has literally come down to a countdown right now. 7… 7 billion lives depend on my perfection; quiet literally. 6… 6 days I had to perfect my perfection. 5… 5 centuries of penance and apocalypse is what awaits if I fail. 4… 4 gods that I have to overthrow. 3… 3 best friends who stand by me against all odds. 2… 2 eyes watching me hopefully while his eyes change into most vibrant of colors in a matter of seconds. 1… 1 last step and 1 last chance to save humanity. 0…. (beep… beep…. beep ——–)……. Hi, I am Jane and this is the story of my battle for humanity and a battle that will never appear in any of the history books, but that which will determine whether I save seven billion lives and a very devastated God or not.”

Hi, Ishu Shankar, I’m intrigued by the points you’ve given of your story. Sounds awesome. It’s a book I want to read. Happy Writing.

Niki

I’m here…in the lifeless forest, laying on a blanket…I don’t even know if I’m dead or alive…The only thing I can think about is the way that you looked at me… Those eyes…Those hypnotizing eyes that I used to admire, are now the reason I’m here now, on this white blanket, drowning in my own blood…I still remember your last words: “Goodbye…Forever” you said smirking at me. What you did hurt me…not physical but emotional…I just want you to know that I don’t hate you! I still love you and I’ll always do…

Prashant Thakur

Yesterday night, I had a little conversation with myself. I was telling myself, she has moved on. She is not with you. She doesn’t love you anymore. So, why do you think about her? Answer came, ‘because of love’. Then I asked,what is love? This time answer didn’t came,’just smile on face’. But I got all the answers with this smile. And I thought, if this is giving smile on my face, then how can I stop myself to think about her? How can I stop myself to love? And I got all the answers of ……. WHAT IS LOVE???

Marty Otero

Please tell me what you think of this as a lead. Permits, maps, site inspections are all ways three past Mickey Leland Environmental Internship program interns now work to protect the Texas environment. MLEIP interns learn how the agency operates and protects our most precious natural resources: our land, air, and water.

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Writing a Lead or Lede to an Article

Rules? What rules? Just tell the story effectively and hold the reader

  • An Introduction to Punctuation
  • Ph.D., Rhetoric and English, University of Georgia
  • M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester
  • B.A., English, State University of New York

A lead  or lede refers to the opening sentences  of a brief composition  or the first paragraph or two of a longer article or essay . Leads introduce the topic or purpose of a paper, and particularly in the case of journalism, need to grab the reader's attention. A lead is a promise of what's to come, a promise that the piece will satisfy what a reader needs to know.

They can take many styles and approaches and be a variety of lengths, but to be successful, leads need to keep the readers reading, or else all the research and reporting that went into the story won't reach anyone. Most often when people talk about leads, it's in professional periodical writing, such as in newspapers and magazines. ​

Opinions Differ on Length

Many ways exist as far as how to write a lead, the styles of which likely differ based on the tone or voice of the piece and intended audience in a story—and even the overall length of the story. A long feature in a magazine can get away with a lead that builds more slowly than an in-the-moment news story about a breaking news event in a daily paper or on a news website.

Some writers note that the first sentence is the most important of a story; some might extend that to the first paragraph. Still, others might emphasize defining the  audience  and message to those people in the first 10 words. Whatever the length, a good lead relates the issue to the readers and shows why it's important for them and how it relates to them. If they're invested from the get-go, they'll keep reading.

Hard News Versus Features

Hard news leads get the who, what, why, where, when, and how in the piece up front, the most important bits of information right up top. They're part of the classic reverse-pyramid news story structure. 

Features can start off in a multitude of ways, such as with an anecdote  or a quotation  or dialogue and will want to get the point of view established right away. Feature stories and news both can set the scene with a narrative description . They also can establish a "face" of the story, for example, to personalize an issue by showing how it's affecting an ordinary person.

Stories with arresting leads might exhibit tension right up front or pose a problem that'll be discussed. They might phrase their first sentence in the form of a question.

Where you put the historical information or the background information depends on the piece, but it can also function in the lead to ground the readers and get them context to the piece right away, to immediately understand the story's importance.

All that said, news and features don't necessarily have hard-and-fast rules about what leads work for either type; the style you take depends on the story you have to tell and how it will be most effectively conveyed.

Creating a Hook

"Newspaper reporters have varied the form of their work, including writing more creative story leads . These leads are often less direct and less 'formulaic' than the traditional news summary lead. Some journalists call these soft or indirect news leads. "The most obvious way to modify a news summary lead is to use only the feature fact or perhaps two of the what, who, where, when, why and how in the lead. By delaying some of the answers to these essential reader questions , the sentences can be short, and the writer can create a 'hook' to catch or entice the reader to continue into the body of the story." (Thomas Rolnicki, C. Dow Tate, and Sherri Taylor, "Scholastic Journalism." Blackwell, 2007)

Using Arresting Detail

"There are editors ...who will try to take an interesting detail out of the story simply because the detail happens to horrify or appall them. 'One of them kept saying that people read this paper at breakfast ,' I was told by Edna [Buchanan], whose own idea of a successful lead is one that might cause a reader who is having breakfast with his wife to 'spit out his coffee, clutch his chest, and say, "My God, Martha! Did you read this!"'" (Calvin Trillin, "Covering the Cops [Edna Buchanan]." "Life Stories: Profiles from The New Yorker ," ed. by David Remnick. Random House, 2000)

Joan Didion and Ron Rosenbaum on Leads

​ Joan Didion : "What's so hard about the first sentence is that you're stuck with it. Everything else is going to flow out of that sentence. And by the time you've laid down the first two sentences, your options are all gone." (Joan Didion, quoted in "The Writer," 1985)

Ron Rosenbaum : "For me, the lead is the most important element. A good lead embodies much of what the story is about—its tone, its focus, its mood. Once I sense that this is a great lead I can really start writing. It is a heuristic : a great lead really leads you toward something." (Ron Rosenbaum in "The New New Journalism: Conversations With America's Best Nonfiction Writers on Their Craft," by Robert S. Boynton. Vintage Books, 2005)

The Myth of the Perfect First Line

"It's a newsroom article of faith that you should begin by struggling for the perfect lead . Once that opening finally comes to you—according to the legend—the rest of the story will flow like lava. "Not likely...Starting with the lead is like starting medical school with brain surgery. We've all been taught that the first sentence is the most important; so it's also the scariest. Instead of writing it, we fuss and fume and procrastinate. Or we waste hours writing and rewriting the first few lines, rather than getting on with the body of the piece... "The first sentence points the way for everything that follows. But writing it before you've sorted out your material, thought about your focus , or stimulated your thinking with some actual writing is a recipe for getting lost. When you're ready to write, what you need is not a finely polished opening sentence, but a clear statement of your theme ." (Jack R. Hart, "A Writer's Coach: An Editor's Guide to Words That Work." Random House, 2006)

  • What Is the Inverted Pyramid Method of Organization?
  • The Difference Between an Article and an Essay
  • Achieving Emphasis in Writing
  • Definition and Examples of Paragraphing in Essays
  • Sentence Variety Composition
  • Expanding Sentences With Adjectives and Adverbs
  • What Is Textuality?
  • The 5 Ws (and an H) of Journalism
  • Definition and Examples of Paragraph Breaks in Prose
  • First-Person Point of View
  • Loose Sentence in Grammar and Prose Style
  • How Do You Edit an Essay?
  • Definition and Examples of Climactic Order in Composition and Speech
  • Sentence Length
  • Examples of Faulty Parallelism in English Grammar
  • Using Sentence Fragments Effectively

good leads for essays examples

Member-only story

7 Strategies to Write the Perfect Lead

Readers do judge the article by the title.

Brenda Mahler

Brenda Mahler

The Writing Cooperative

If the opening lines of the narrative permit the reader’s attention to wane, if it doesn’t mesmerize his mind and captivate his body, my dreams of a writing career will crumble and dissolve like the faded pages of a brittle, time-worn, abandoned novel.

Writing introductions haunt me, and the act of doing so has the power to freeze my hands in place restricting ideas from flowing to the keyboard. In fact, it took me thirty-minutes to write the first sentence, and I am still not sure it is any good. I know the introduction to a piece of writing must hook the reader, and if I can’t hook them, they will swim away to the next of many stories. The first sentence dangles the bait; the second entices them to continue, by the third they are ready to nibble a little and then BAM! The reader is hooked.

The use of the word lead in place of introduction leaves me with the image of a farmer pulling a stubborn donkey forward by the reigns. The quick tug sends a signal, a second pulls the head forward, a third forces a step and then another until the farmer and the animal are both moving towards the destination or with writing, the conclusion.

Because the introduction holds the power to make the difference between a bestseller and a doorstop, I…

Brenda Mahler

Written by Brenda Mahler

Real life person sharing real life stories. Writing about travel, dogs, and healthy lifestyles.

Text to speech

Daily Writing Tips

How to write a lead paragraph.

good leads for essays examples

Absent — or in spite of — a photograph or other visual information, the headline is the first thing most readers notice. But even the most captivating headline has to be followed by a lead paragraph (known in journalistic jargon as a lede) that convinces the reader that the article is worth reading.

What’s the function of a lede? (The odd spelling supposedly derives from the tradition of distinguishing the noun lead or the adjectival form in “lead paragraph” from the homonym lead , as in “lead type.”) An article is a story, and the lede is the pitch to woo the reader. But that analogy is of dubious use if your storytelling overtures are along the lines of “Let me tell you about this crazy thing that happened to me today” — no more useful than clearing your throat or shuffling papers before you give a speech. In person, your audience might patiently and politely await your account, but readers, knowing you’re not there to have your feelings hurt, will likely not hesitate to move on.

But what if you cut to the chase and said, “A guy pulled a gun on me today”? Your audience will almost certainly invest some time and effort into hearing what comes next. By the same token, a lede must be constructed to attract attention.

What content, exactly, goes into a lede? The first paragraph of an article provides the main points without digressing into details; those can follow in subsequent paragraphs. A lede tells the reader something interesting and/or newsworthy, providing context and perspective. Ideally, it speaks to the reader’s curiosity, and perhaps their desires or fears. It might introduce conflict or controversy.

The traditional lede for a news article includes what journalists call the 5 Ws (and sometimes an H thrown in for good measure): This term is shorthand for who , what , when , where , and why (plus how ). Of course, a lede that includes all five (or six) elements is usually overstuffed; it’s better to focus only a couple or at most a few of these. (One of the most celebrated newspaper-article ledes, in reference to a man who was shot and killed because he attacked a fast-food worker over an order of fried chicken, tells you only who and what — and is reticent about the what: “Gary Robinson died hungry.”)

The challenge to writing a good lede is achieving both specificity and brevity. To be specific, remember who and its friends. Pick one, or another question, to answer, and wrap the lede around it. To accomplish brevity (ideally, a lede should consist of less than thirty words), choose strong, vivid nouns and verbs, eschew verbosity and redundancy, and make every word count. To test the lede, read it aloud, and omit adjectives, adverbs, and wordy constructions — and, especially in these search-engine-driven times, focus on keywords.

To craft an effective lede, avoiding writing what readers already know and telling readers what you’re going to tell them. Keep to one point, and avoid attribution and specific numbers (an exception to the specificity rule). Think of the lede as an elevator speech — the proverbial opportunity to sell your story to a movie producer or book publisher with a brief pitch during the interval the two of you share an elevator ride. This is your chance; take it.

What if you just can’t put a lede together? Write a placeholder sentence, and come back to it later after you’ve completed the rest of the article — the result may show you the way. You might also think about potential ledes before you even begin to report or research, or during the process. You may not end up using anything you come up with at that stage, but it will get you thinking.

Also, keep in mind that the traditional journalistic lede isn’t the only way to go. Besides the summary form, there’s also the anecdotal lede, the question, the quotation, and the direct approach — or a combination of forms.

Remember “A guy pulled a gun on me today”? Though the question, quotation, and direct forms are challenging to pull off, the anecdotal form, a hallmark of what is called narrative journalism or narrative nonfiction, is increasingly popular and often intuitively constructed. Here’s the lede to a true first-person story I might write: “I had always wondered how I would react if someone pulled a gun on me. Today, I found out.”

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good leads for essays examples

7 thoughts on “How to Write a Lead Paragraph”

Wow. I miss lede paragraphs. Back when people who wrote news articles were journalists, and had the mission of reporting news, you could skim a newspaper for headlines and lede paragraphs and know what was going on.

Those days seem long gone, replaced by people who’s mission seems to be to get a book deal or TV hosting slot, or to act as advocate for some personal opinion, and opening paragraphs that seem to serve no purpose but to allow the writer to try to show off what they learned in creative writing class.

As a rookie journalism student-reporter at the University of Missouri in the early 70s, I often struggled to come up with a good lead. By the time I graduated, my struggle was which of a dozen good leads to use. Practice makes fertile.

a journalism instructor of mine told me that journalists spell “lead” and other markup words incorrectly so as not to indicate “insert the word ‘lead'” or whatever.

Wonderful piece! Would love to see something about crafting reaction and/or response essays. Thanks!

A caveat: A stage magician learns not to foretell what he’s about to do (ex.: “Now I’m going to pull a rabbit out of this hat,”) because his audience won’t be surprised by the trick when it happens. This causes them to lose interest in his performance and he may never get it back completely. A similar thing can happen with your lede if you overdo it and put too much into that opening paragraph. Hook your reader and reel them in, but don’t give them so much information that they don’t need to read further.

Always hook them with a captivating intro like a story, and cut to the chase. I agree.

Steven: “Hook your reader and reel them in, but don’t give them so much information that they don’t need to read further.”

For the opening paragraph of chapter fiction story, this is good advice.

For a lede paragraph in a news story, it’s…how can I put it kindly….scummy. Like the TV News promos that go “Poison in a popular baby food…we’ll tell you which one at 11….”

Fact is, if you can tell the readers everything they’d want or need to know in a paragraph, then that’s exactly how long the piece should be.

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How to Write a Lead Like a Professional Blogger

good leads for essays examples

  • October 9, 2014

Barry Feldman

  • Blogging , Content marketing , Copywriting

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Writing leads is a bitch.

But I just wrote a great one. How do I know? You read the second sentence. And now you’re on the fifth. I’m on a roll. You’re into sentence number seven and I love you for it.

The objective of the first sentence (often called the lead, or lede) is to get you into the second one. Some say the lead is the first paragraph and, as you must have gathered, its goal is to get you to read the paragraph that follows.

Of course, the headline ranks highest, so those that dole out writing advice tend to focus on it. I thought we’d focus on the lead today. When it fails you, your reader takes in only two lines. That’s a form of rejection no writer can live with.

So let’s get back to that bitch

At this year’s International Association of Procrastinators Conference (which was originally scheduled for last year), a poll determined the hardest part of every task is getting started.

Beginning a blog post is no exception. The challenge often thwarts the progress of the most successful professionals. Kristi Hines, professional blogger of the highest order, told me:

“For me, the lead is the most difficult part of the article to write. I’ve found that when I get stuck, the best approach is to write the rest of the article and circle back to it. By that point, I know exactly what I’ve covered in the article and that makes it easier to introduce the content. Otherwise, if I try to force the lead out first, I end up procrastinating on the whole piece.”

We have our first tip: skip the lead if it freezes you. Try to switch to defrost and just dive into the story.

Open with empathy

“Statistically, the leads that get the highest traffic are what I call ‘empathic openings,’” wrote Jon Morrow in response to my question about how to make your lead effective.

Jon is not only as talented a blogger as you’ll find, his occupational mission is to help bloggers succeed. Jon continued, “You describe the reader’s current situation, thoughts, and emotions, proving you understand exactly where they are before you start giving them advice . At BoostBlogTraffic.com , we require all of our posts to have empathic openings.”

Here’s Jon practicing what he preaches in the opening to “20 Ways to Be Just Another Mediocre Blogger Nobody Gives a Crap About.”

“A troubling thought, isn’t it?” (He refers to his headline, of course.) “You’re slaving away at your blog, but you can’t help wondering if you have a shot in hell of getting anyone to read it.” “What makes you any different from the millions of other bloggers hoping for attention?”

Troubling… slaving… wondering… Now there’s some empathy. Jon’s mastered the fine art of what he’s dubbed “the 2 a.m. test,” meaning you make a powerful emotional connection with your reader when you speak to exactly what keeps him or her up at night.

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Everybody Writes Ann Handley

Invite readers to a party

We’re not done with Ann. And Ann’s not done helping you write rockin’ leads. “Everybody Writes” dedicates a chapter to it because the first and last sentence of your work, says Ann, deserve special love.

In classic, helpful, how-to style, Ann dishes forth a menu of useful options for writing leads like a pro:

  • — Put your reader into the story (as Jon’s done above).
  • — Describe a problem your reader can relate to.
  • — Set a stage.
  • — Ask a question.
  • — Quote a crazy or controversial bit of data.
  • — Tell a story or relay a personal anecdote.
  • — Use an analogy.

For a more complete picture, get a copy of Everybody Writes and open to Chapter 17, “A Good Lede Invites You to the Party and a Good Kicker Makes You Wish You Could Stay Longer.” (A tasty line from Articulate Marketing’s Matthew Stibbe .)

Start a conversation with you

“The simplest way (to write an effective lead) is to ask a question. It gets people thinking and it engages them right away. Typically you want the question to be short and to the point.”

I got this tip from Neil Patel whose credentials as a blogger can only be challenged by his stunning resume as an entrepreneur in the software space. Neil writes for the companies he’s founded including Crazy Egg and KISSmetrics and is a shockingly prolific and popular guest blogger at numerous sites dedicated to online marketing.

I love this, also from Neil:

“You also want to use the words ‘you’ and ‘I’ as it will make the question feel more like a conversation.”

Read my post, “The Most Effective Online Marketers Focus on One Thing” to learn just how fervently I agree with Neil on this point.

Want more ideas for writing a great lead? I thought I might mine some good ones by posing my question to the 14,000+ members of my favorite LinkedIn Group, Content Marketing Academy. Dustin Driver , director of marketing at Droplr, put some serious thought into his reply…

A great lead (lede) surprises, intrigues, titillates, inspires. It can be the most astounding, arresting, or juicy fact of your story: “Studies show that a solid lede can increase conversion rates by 200 percent.” It can be personal: “A great lede led me to the love of my life. True story.” It can ask and answer a question (however this is a little overdone): “How do you write a great lede? With vim and vigor, of course.” It can be narrative: “Caffeine coursed through his body, constricting his vision to a narrow aperture. The outside world faded. Only the lede remained. His fingers danced over the keyboard.” It can be clever and erudite: “Through the annals of history great ledes have spurred men to extraordinary feats, sparked roiling conflicts, and even inspired 72-year-old Agnes Paulson to write a stern letter to the editor.”

Wow. Thank you Dustin. Dustin recommends reading “On Writing Well,” by William Zinsser and “Elements of Style” by William Strunk. Thanks for that too.

More strong ideas from the academy

My question inspired a lot of great ideas, including:

  • “One very effective approach is to lead with a question you’ve actually heard asked by one or more of your target readers.”

~ Carolyn Drozdiak , sr. account sales manager, Software Solutions

  • “You write a good lede by creating a subtle tension (raising a question, turning a phrase, hinting at a solution).”

~ John Bradley , media, marketing, and brand strategist

  • “Start with a story. Read this post (from Buffer) for convincing evidence.”

~ Carolyn Frith , B2B content marketing strategy and content creation

  • The first or second sentence should set up the conflict, drama or point of the piece. Readers will make a snap judgment about whether or not to read on so grab them early.

~ Phaedra Hise , content maven, wizard of words

Short and sweet examples

“30 Action Items to Get Serious About Influencer Marketing” is my most popular post in recent months. Its lead:

“Want sway? Who doesn’t? We all want to be influential.”

That worked.

This suck-you-into-the-story lead is from former HubSpot employee Diana Urban, in her post “50 Tweetable Twitter Tips You Wish You Knew Years Ago.”

“Want to get more followers and increase engagement on Twitter? Or … just want to make sure people don’t think you’re a space case on Twitter?”

I’ve concluded this one worked well. It comes from the post “A New Study Suggests People Who Don’t Drink Alcohol Are More Likely to Die Young,” by Helen Jupiter, which has been shared 3-million times.

“A newly released study shows that regular drinkers are less likely to die prematurely than people who have never indulged in alcohol.”

If there’s a blogger you can count on to tickle you into the post, it’s my friend Henneke of Enchanting Marketing , author of “Blog to Win Business.” Here’s how she opens “How to Write a Good Blog Post Super-Fast (and the Joy of Slow-Blogging).”

“I have a confession to make.” “I’m a little jealous.” “I have a friend and he writes super-fast. He can write a report of 10,000 words in 1 day. That’s ten thousand words in one day.” “It took me about a day to write this blog post.”

The girl’s got rhythm. And if you sniff some Jon Morrow styling, you have a good nose. Henneke cites Jon as an influence.

Picture your reader

I had to ask my buddy Doug Kessler of Velocity Partners how to write a great lead, because I don’t believe he’s ever written one that didn’t hook me. Doug replied:

“I picture my reader as a smart, funny person with very, very little time on her hands and lots of claims on that time. This reminds me to do two things: EARN her attention and REWARD it.”

Get to the point?

I love going to marketing conferences because I never fail to meet interesting and talented people. This was definitely the case last week at Content Jam in Chicago where I came to know Russ Henneberry of DigitalMarketer.com, who penned “Six Headsmackingly Simple Ways to Write Better Blog Posts.”

I’ve elected to close with a passage from Russ’ killer article where he recommends you focus on intros. Take it away Russ…

Often the weakest part of an article is the introduction. Sometimes an article will go from good to great just by chopping off the first 5 paragraphs and getting the reader to the point much more quickly.

Here’s a trick… use a very punchy, curiosity building sentence to open every post. This sentence should be short (rarely longer than 8 words.)

The idea here is to open with a simple sentence that is easy to read and that builds curiosity. This first sentence is intended to create a “greased chute” (I stole that term from Joe Sugarman) that forces them down the page.

Once you get someone started down the chute it’s much easier to keep them moving.  The tough part is getting them started.

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Barry Feldman Author

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I love the way you’ve done this post – it has your personality but you’ve still included lots of other people. Great way to do a round-up that’s more than a boring round-up.

And thank you for your kind words 🙂

Great article, Barry. Shared already 🙂

I love how you’ve written a post with strong personality while quoting a lot of others. Much much nicer than the usual round-up posts, which I often find rather boring.

And thank you for your kind words!

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Pete Davenport

Making a test comment

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Hoyt Holmes

Great stuff. One small gripe that gets my editorial skin crawling … it’s LEDE not LEAD.

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It’s lead or lede. Traditionally, it’s actually “lead,” which means what it says.

What’s your source on that? My journalism profs all taught me the exact opposite. Curious how they missed it, if as you say, “lead” is the traditional term.

Check out “Everybody Writes.” Once upon a time, it was “lead,” which meant what it implies. The part that leads the story. However, it was often confused with the typesetting terms, leading (space between lines), so journalists respelled it. They mean the same thing though. (And I don’t think what we do as content marketers is journalism anyway.)

The best approaches for writing a lead: Advice from pro bloggers | Networld Interactive

[…] Barry Feldman is a content marketing consultant, copywriter, social media advisor and more. This post has been adapted from an original version on his blog, Feldman Creative. […]

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Witty Cookie

Great concept and Very nice unique post. I really glad to found you. I recommend this page to my all friends.

Regards vancouver internet marketing

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I appreciate with your blog in this you give information for how to make lead and ideas are give to tips will be some extra time to write and solve to different type.

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Writing, Introduction Paragraph, Hooks and Lead-ins

https://bid4papers.com/blog/hook-for-essay/

How to Write a Good Hook for Your Essay

“You have to make choices even when there is nothing to choose from.”                                                                                               ― Péter Zilahy

good leads for essays examples

And you have to find perfect hooks for an essay even when you don’t know what to write about.

When you are asked to write an essay, it doesn’t mean that you don’t get to express your own thoughts and creativity. An essay shouldn’t be boring or too formal. As a writer, your first priority is to make sure that you are keeping your audience in mind and writing for them and to them. That means grabbing and keeping their attention so that they want to read every word.

This is exactly why the essay hook exists and is such an important tool.

An essay hook is the first one or two sentences of your essay. It serves as an introduction and works to grab the reader’s attention. The first couple sentences will help your reader decide whether they want to continue reading your essay or not.

The use of hooks in writing goes far beyond just essays and college papers. Every writer, copywriter, screenwriter, and storyteller uses this device to draw in readers and keep them hooked. For example, world-famous ad executive,  David Ogilvy , relied on a list of 29 “ magic words ” that he used in titles in order to hook a client’s attention.

College essay hooks can be difficult to generate, especially when you are still working on clarifying what your essay is going to say. So, the very first step in writing a strong essay hook is to do some planning.

Consider the overall presentation of your work:

  • What type of essay are you writing?
  • What type of writing style and tone will you need to use?
  • Who is your intended audience?
  • What kind of structure do you need to establish?

Essay hooks ideas

  • A literary quote

This type of hook is appropriate when you are writing about a particular author, story, literary phenomenon, book, etc. Using a quote will make your essay sound fresh and establish your authority as an author.

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” These words of Nick Carraway perfectly describe…”

“Not all those who wander are lost.” And yes, indeed, every person is so…”

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Agree or not, but these words from The Alchemist determine…”

  • Quotes from Famous People

Including a quote from an authoritative and influential person can help support your argument and create an intriguing hook. The key is to make sure that you clearly show how the quote is relevant to your essay.

“John Wooden once said, ‘Never mistake activity for achievement.'”

“Learn to laugh” were the first words from my kindergarten teacher after Ralph Thorsen spilled paint on my daffodil picture.

Don’t be afraid to employ this type of hook. Remember, even if you start with a humorous anecdote, it doesn’t mean that your entire essay has to be funny. A bit of humor can help you grab readers’ attention and spark their interest in the topic.

“As my cousin and I pedaled our new bikes to the beach, 6 years old, suntanned and young, we met an old, shaggy-haired man weaving unsteadily on a battered old bike.”

“When I was a young boy, my father worked at a coal mine. For 27 years, he made it his occupation to scrape and claw and grunt his way into the bowels of the earth, searching for fuel. On April 19, 2004, the bowels of the earth clawed back.”

Keep in mind that most essay assignments will ask you to avoid using the first person. Be sure to check any requirements before using “I” in your writing.

  • Pose a Question

Almost nothing can attract interest better than a well-constructed question. Readers will want to continue reading your essay in order to discover the answer. Be sure to avoid simple “Yes” or “No” questions and try to pose questions that ask reader to consider the other side or engage in some critical thinking.

“What would you do if you could play God for a day? That’s exactly what the leaders of the tiny island nation of Guam tried to answer.”

“Have you ever wondered, whether Anna Karenina still loved Alexei if she hadn’t decided to commit a suicide?”

  • Set a Scene

People respond well to visual cues. Taking the time to set a detailed scene will help your reader have a clear picture in their minds and create an effective hook. You can describe an incident or detail the particular features of a person or a character to help the readers become immersed in your writing.

“The day of his birth began with Hurricane Charlie pounding at our door in Charleston, South Carolina.”

“Deciding to attend Hampton Roads Academy, a private school, was one of my most difficult decisions.”

  • Include an Interesting Fact or Definition

These types of hooks start by surprising the reader with something that may not have known. Provide an interesting fact about something you are going to discuss in your essay’s body and your audience will want to keep reading to learn more.

“Spain, though hardly a literary juggernaut, translates more books in one year than the entire Arab world has in the past one thousand years.”

“Amiable is the best way to describe Elizabeth’s personality: she was friendly and caring.”

  • State Your Thesis

There is no harm in getting right to the point. Start with your main argument and use the rest of your essay to support your point of view. If you have an interesting take on a subject, readers will want to see where you came up with your idea.

“It is time, at last, to speak the truth about Thanksgiving, and the truth is this. Thanksgiving is really not such a terrific holiday. . .”

“Humans need to invest more time and money into space exploration because Earth is on a certain path to destruction.”

  • Reveal a Common Misconception

The most interesting essays will teach the readers something new. If you start your introduction by showing that a commonly accepted truth is actually false, your readers will be instantly hooked.

“Any parent will tell you that goldfish are a great first pet for a child. They hardly need any attention, and they won’t be around for too long. Flushing a goldfish in its first week is pretty common—it even happened to my first goldfish. But it turns out that goldfish aren’t as helpless as we all think.”

“While most coffee enthusiasts would tell you that their favorite drink comes from a bean, they would be wrong. Coffee is actually made from a seed that is simply called a bean.”

By listing proven facts at the very beginning of your paper, you will create interest that can be carried throughout the rest of the essay.

“The average iceberg weighs over 100,000 metric tons.”

“70% of all jobs found today were got through different networking strategies”

Depending on the style of essay you are writing (narrative, persuasive, personal, critical, argumentative, deductive, etc.), the type of hook you will want to use will vary. Remember, your essay hook is just a tip of an iceberg and it will not guarantee that the rest of your essay will work. Be sure to  organize your research  and start with an outline before deciding on the best hook to start your essay. The right choice can make your paper truly interesting and worth reading.

Ken Blake, Ph.D.

Six rules for writing a straight news lead.

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Every news story begins with a lead (pronounced LEED), so learning to write a good lead is the first step in learning to write a good story. Journalists use many different styles of leads, depending on the situation. But most media writing students begin by learning the simplest and most common style: the straight news lead. Below are six rules for writing good straight news leads. You can also watch my approximately 15-minute, YouTube-hosted video lecture explaining the rules.

Following these rules will help you write a good lead every time. So will breaking one or more of them, but only if you do it intentionally and for a specific purpose. The statement I just wrote, for example, is a fragment. It violates a basic grammar rule. But I broke the rule to emphasize my point. That’s OK.

Here’s a summary of the rules. Scroll down for details about each rule:

  • Rule #1: A straight news lead should be a single paragraph consisting of a single sentence, should contain no more than 30 words, and should summarize, at minimum, the most newsworthy “what,” “where” and “when” of the story.
  • Rule #2: The lead’s first verb should express the main “what” of the story and should be placed among the lead’s first seven words.
  • Rule #3: The lead’s first verb — the same one that expresses the main “what” of the story — should be active voice, not passive voice.
  • Rule #4: If there’s a “who” involved in the story, the lead should give some indication of who the “who” is.
  • Rule #5: The lead should summarize the “why” and “how” of the story, but only if there’s room.
  • Rule #6: If what’s in the lead needs to be attributed, place the attribution at the end of the lead.

Rule #1 : A straight news lead should be a single paragraph consisting of a single sentence, should contain no more than 30 words, and should summarize, at minimum, the most newsworthy “what,” “where” and “when” of the story.

  • Example: “Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday morning.”

The lead is a single-sentence paragraph. Note, please, that a lead should be written in ordinary English, not the clipped phrasing reserved for headlines like “Main Street home destroyed in early morning fire.” Headlines, which appear in large print above the stories they introduce, are written that way to conserve space. But people would consider you strange if you went around talking like that all the time. Your audience will consider you strange if you talk that way in your journalistic writing.

The lead contains 10 words — far fewer than the 30-word limit. Notice that the word count includes even little words like “a” and “on.” The lead also summarizes the main “what” of the story, which is that fire destroyed a house. It provides the “where” of the story with the phrase “on Main Street.” Finally, the lead gives the “when” of the story with the phrase “early Monday morning.”

Important note: There are some mental gymnastics involved in correctly conveying the “when” of a newspaper story. Suppose, for example, that today is Monday, and the fire happened this morning. You might be tempted to write the lead like this: “Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early this morning.” And doing so might be just fine if your lead were going to be published, read and discarded that same day. But if you’re writing something that won’t get distributed until the following day, keep in mind that someone who reads that the fire occurred “this morning” will inaccurately assume that “this morning” means “Tuesday morning.” Also, if you’re story is going to hang around on the Web for a while, “this morning” could mean just about anything to someone who reads it days, months or even years afterward, even if your story carries a time stamp. To avoid such problems, AP style recommends using the day of the week for the “when” of events within seven days of the current date. For dates outside that time frame, use the month and day. See you AP Stylebook’s “time element” and “months” entries for details.

Rule #2 : The lead’s first verb should express the main “what” of the story and should be placed among the lead’s first seven words.

The verb “destroyed” expresses the main “what” of the story. “Destroyed” is the lead’s second word — a position that puts “destroyed” well in front of “Street,” the lead’s seventh word. Again, notice that the word count includes even little words like “a” and “on.” There are no other verbs in front of “destroyed,” so “destroyed” is the lead’s first verb.

Following this rule will force you to quickly tell readers what the story is about.

Rule #3 : The lead’s first verb — the same one that expresses the main “what” of the story — should be active voice, not passive voice. A verb is active voice if the verb’s subject did, is doing, or will do something.

“Destroyed” is the verb. “Fire” is the verb’s subject. “Fire” did something. It destroyed. A verb is passive voice if the verb’s subject had, is having, or will have something done to it. For example, if the lead were, “A house was destroyed by fire on Main Street early Monday morning,” “was” would be the verb, “house” would be the verb’s subject, and “house” would have had something done to it. The house “was destroyed” (by fire). If you read your lead and feel compelled to add something like the “by fire” phrase after the verb in order to express who or what did what the verb is describing, chances are you’ve written a passive-voice lead.

Rule #4 : If there’s a “who” involved in the story, the lead should give some indication of who the “who” is.

  • First example: “An elderly Murfreesboro man died Monday when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home.”

The “who” is “an elderly Murfreesboro man.” In this case, the “who” probably isn’t someone whose name readers would recognize. As a result, the “who” angle of the lead focuses on what things about the “who” might make the “who” important to the reader. In this case, it’s the fact that the man was older and lived in Murfreesboro. That’s called writing a “blind lead.” The man’s name will be given later in the story.

  • Second example: “Murfreesboro Mayor Joe Smith died Monday when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home.”

Smith is the local mayor, and most readers probably will recognize his name. As a result, the lead’s “who” element gives his name. So, use  the name of the “who” in the lead only when the name is likely to be recognized by a large percentage of your audience.

Rule #5 : The lead should summarize the “why” and “how” of the story, but only if there’s room.

  • Example: “An elderly Murfreesboro man died early Monday morning when fire sparked by faulty wiring raged through his Main Street home.”

In this example, “… fire … raged through his Main Street home …” explains why the man died. Meanwhile, “… sparked by faulty wiring …” explains how the blaze began.

Rule #6 : If what’s in the lead needs to be attributed, place the attribution at the end of the lead, never at the beginning of the lead.

  • Example: “Faulty wiring most likely sparked the blaze that claimed the life of an elderly Murfreesboro man last week, the city’s arson investigator concluded Monday.”

Attribution is a reference indicating the source of some bit of information. In this case, the attribution is the phrase, “the city’s arson investigator concluded Monday.” Generally, attribute assertions that represent anything other than objective, indisputably true information. Here, it is objectively and indisputably true that the man is dead, that his house was destroyed, that it all happened early Monday morning, and that the house was on Main Street. But the arson investigator’s assertion that faulty wiring caused the blaze represents the investigator’s opinion. It is, of course, an insightful opinion based upon his training and expertise, which is the only reason it is worth including at all. But it is an opinion nonetheless. Therefore, the assertion needs to be attributed to the investigator so readers can decide for themselves how credible the assertion is.

Be aware that this rule and many of the others apply mainly to written forms of journalism. In the lead for radio or TV news story, for example, attribution, if included at all, usually goes at the beginning, as in, “The city’s arson investigator concluded Monday that faulty wiring most likely sparked the blaze that claimed the life of an elderly Murfreesboro man last week.” The idea behind this alternative organization of the lead is that audience members, when listening to or watching the story rather than reading it, need a little extra time to start mentally processing  the information being presented, and they’ll be more likely to remember the information at the end of the lead than the information at the beginning of the lead.

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How to Write a Good Lead: Crafting an Attention-Grabbing First Sentence

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By Happy Sharer

good leads for essays examples

Introduction

Writing a good lead is essential for engaging readers and drawing them into your story. A lead, also known as an introduction or a hook, is the opening paragraph of an article, blog post, book, or other written work. It sets the tone for the rest of the piece and gives readers an idea of what to expect. A well-crafted lead can be the difference between a reader continuing on to the rest of the article or losing interest and moving on.

In this article, we will explore what makes a good lead, analyze the best leads of professional publications, break down the anatomy of a good lead, discuss what makes an engaging lead, provide tips for writing an attention-grabbing lead, explore different types of leads, and offer examples of successful leads.

Analyzing the Best Leads of Professional Publications

Analyzing the Best Leads of Professional Publications

When it comes to writing a great lead, one of the best places to start is by looking at examples of leads from professional publications. Examining the best leads of newspapers, magazines, and other publications can help you to understand what makes a lead successful. By studying these examples, you can learn how to craft an engaging lead that will draw in readers.

How to Find Examples of Good Leads

The first step in analyzing the best leads of professional publications is to find examples. There are several ways to do this. You can search online for articles that have been published in major news outlets or magazines. You can also look through physical copies of newspapers and magazines. Another option is to look through databases of archived articles, such as those found in libraries or academic institutions.

What Makes a Professional Lead Stand Out

Once you have gathered a selection of leads from professional publications, it’s time to examine what makes them stand out. Look for leads that grab your attention and make you want to read on. Pay attention to the structure, language, and tone of the leads and try to identify what elements make them particularly effective.

Breaking Down the Anatomy of a Good Lead

One of the key components of a successful lead is its structure. A good lead should be concise and to the point, while still providing enough information to give readers an idea of what the article is about. Additionally, it should be engaging and interesting enough to draw readers in and encourage them to keep reading.

Components of an Engaging Lead

When crafting a lead, there are certain key elements to consider. These include introducing the topic, providing some context, setting the scene, and establishing a tone. The lead should also be concise and direct, while still being engaging and interesting.

Crafting an Attention-Grabbing First Sentence

The most important part of a lead is the first sentence. This sentence should grab the reader’s attention and make them want to read on. To achieve this, the sentence should be concise and direct, while still conveying the main idea of the article. Additionally, it should be interesting and engaging, with a hint of mystery or curiosity to draw readers in.

Discussing What Makes an Engaging Lead

In addition to structure, there are other factors that contribute to making a lead engaging. One of the most important is curiosity. A good lead should leave readers wanting to know more. It should create a sense of anticipation, making readers curious to find out what happens next.

The Role of Curiosity in Writing a Good Lead

Curiosity is an essential element of a good lead. The lead should be intriguing and mysterious, leaving readers wanting to know more. It should set up questions that readers will want answered, while also providing enough information to give them an idea of what the article is about. Additionally, it should be engaging and interesting, with a unique angle or perspective.

Establishing Context and Setting the Scene

Another important factor in writing an engaging lead is establishing context and setting the scene. The lead should provide the reader with enough information to understand the topic and get a general idea of what the article is about. Additionally, it should provide a sense of place, giving readers a clear picture of where the story takes place.

Providing Tips for Writing an Attention-Grabbing Lead

Now that we’ve discussed the components of an engaging lead, let’s look at some tips for writing an attention-grabbing lead. Here are a few things to keep in mind when crafting a lead:

Using Short, Powerful Sentences

When writing a lead, it’s important to keep sentences short and to the point. Long, winding sentences can become confusing and may cause readers to lose interest. Instead, focus on writing concise, powerful sentences that convey the main ideas clearly and effectively.

Starting with a Question

Asking a question in the lead can be a great way to engage readers and draw them into the article. A good question should be intriguing and thought-provoking, while still being relevant to the topic. Additionally, it should be phrased in a way that encourages readers to answer it in their minds.

Making Use of Active Voice

Using active voice in the lead is another way to make it more engaging. Active voice makes sentences more direct and powerful, which can help to draw readers in. Additionally, it can make the lead more concise, as it eliminates unnecessary words and phrases.

Exploring Different Types of Leads

Exploring Different Types of Leads

There are several different types of leads that you can use to draw readers in. Each type has its own benefits and drawbacks, so it’s important to choose the right one for your article. Here are some of the most common types of leads:

Question Leads

Question leads are a great way to engage readers and draw them into the article. They should be phrased in a way that encourages readers to think about the question and come up with their own answers. Additionally, they should be relevant to the topic and interesting enough to make readers want to read on.

Anecdotal Leads

Anecdotal leads are a great way to set the scene and introduce the topic. They should be brief and to the point, while still providing enough information to give readers an idea of what the article is about. Additionally, they should be interesting and engaging, with a hint of mystery or intrigue.

Quotation Leads

Quotation leads are another effective way to draw readers in. They should be relevant to the topic and interesting enough to make readers want to read on. Additionally, they should be brief and to the point, providing just enough information to give readers an idea of what the article is about.

Shock Value Leads

Shock value leads can be a great way to grab readers’ attention. They should be unexpected and provocative, while still being relevant to the topic. Additionally, they should be brief and to the point, providing just enough information to give readers an idea of what the article is about.

Offering Examples of Successful Leads

Offering Examples of Successful Leads

Now that we’ve explored the different types of leads and discussed what makes a good lead, let’s look at some examples of successful leads. Here are a few examples from professional publications:

Sample Leads from Professional Publications

“The sun was setting over the city, casting a golden glow over the streets below.” (The New York Times)

“It was the kind of night that made you wonder if anything would ever be the same again.” (The Washington Post)

“He had no idea what he was getting himself into.” (Time Magazine)

Examples of Unique and Interesting Leads

“She was running out of time, and she knew it.” (The Atlantic)

“The darkness was closing in, and he could feel it.” (Vanity Fair)

“He never expected he’d be here, at the end of the world.” (National Geographic)

Writing a good lead is essential for engaging readers and drawing them into your story. By analyzing the best leads of professional publications and breaking down the anatomy of a good lead, you can learn how to craft an engaging lead that will draw in readers. Additionally, understanding what makes an engaging lead and using tips for writing an attention-grabbing lead can help you to create a lead that will keep readers interested and encourage them to read on.

(Note: Is this article not meeting your expectations? Do you have knowledge or insights to share? Unlock new opportunities and expand your reach by joining our authors team. Click Registration to join us and share your expertise with our readers.)

Hi, I'm Happy Sharer and I love sharing interesting and useful knowledge with others. I have a passion for learning and enjoy explaining complex concepts in a simple way.

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Signal and Lead-in Phrases

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In most citation styles, including APA, MLA, and Chicago style, you can add variety to your research writing by not always using the same sentence structure to introduce quotations, paraphrases, or pieces of information borrowed from different sources. It is relatively simple to use a wide variety of different expressions to introduce both direct and indirect citations. These expressions, which usually occur in the parts of sentences that come just before quotes and paraphrases, are called signal phrases (or, in some cases,  lead-in phrases ). 

Often, signal phrases can be distinguished by the presence of a verb like "indicate" or "argue" that references what the author is doing in the original source. However, a few select signal phrases contain no verbs (e.g., "According to [author],").

In the examples below, the author being cited is Jane Doe. The examples in the first section are adapted to APA, which recommends past-tense verbs  in signal phrases. For MLA (as well as Chicago style), the same verbs can also be used in the present tense instead of the past tense, as the second section below shows. 

Be sure each signal phrase verb matches your intention for the in-text citation. Read the whole sentence after you finish to ensure that the signal phrase grammatically coheres with any content that follows the quote or paraphrase.

Expressing Disagreement with a Signal Phrase

Of course, some quotes and paraphrases express disagreement or negative opinions. In these cases, be sure that any verbs in the signal phrase match the nature of the quote or paraphrase. See the examples below.

Doe rejected  the claim that nature is more important than nurture.

Doe denied  the claim that nature is more important than nurture.

Doe refutes  the claim that nature is more important than nurture.

Doe disputes  the claim that nature is more important than nurture.

good leads for essays examples

Personal Narratives with Strong Leads

“Hook your Readers!”

This is what we tell our student in order to help them understand the importance of a strong lead when composing personal narratives (small moment stories).  We want our students to learn how to capture the readers’ attention, making them want to read the rest of our piece.  Strategies and examples can help your students choose that “just right” bold beginning to hook their readers and make them want to read more.

Anchor charts and mentor texts for composing strong narrative leads

Anchor Chart

Anchor chart for writing personal narrative leads

To familiarize students with options for bold beginnings, it’s always helpful to start with an anchor chart.  When I taught fourth grade, I wrote out examples for each lead.  However, I found that made the anchor chart too cluttered for my second graders.  Instead, I use a picture to illustrate each strategy.  Pictures are helpful for young students to have access to a visual representation of each strategy.  Students will also see plenty of examples through mentor texts, modeling, and examples of personal narratives from their peers.

Mentor Texts

After introducing students to the different types of leads, you can dive into some favorite mentor texts for examples.  I always read the book to students in its entirety before referring back to it for a specific craft lesson.  (The read aloud does not always take place during writing time.)  Three of my favorite mentor texts for narrative leads are Jabari Jumps , Thundercake , and Shortcut .

Jabari Jumps is an excellent example of a small moment story with a bold beginning.

Dialogue for a Strong Lead

” ‘I’m jumping off the diving board today,’ Jabari told his dad.”

Jabari Jumps is an excellent example of a personal narrative that focuses on a small moment where Jabari overcomes his fear of jumping off the diving board.

Thundercake is an excellent mentor text for small moment personal narratives.

Setting Description for a Strong Lead

“One sultry summer days at my grandma’s farm in Michigan, the air gets damp and heavy.  Storm clouds drift low over the fields.”

Thundercake is a wonderful small moment story about a woman helping her grandchild overcome her fear of thunderstorms my baking thundercake.

Shortcut is a great small moment personal narrative that uses short sentences for a strong lead.

Short Sentences for a Strong Lead

We looked… We listened… We decided to take the shortcut home.

There is definitely a lesson to be learned in Shortcut .  In this small moment story, children learn that taking a shortcut is not always the best decision.  

Let the Students Choose...

In order to provide additional examples, I compose three possible leads for my own personal narrative (used as a model).  To the right are my three lead ideas for my personal narrative about getting my dog, Millie, from the shelter.  I use Pear Deck to have my students vote for which lead they liked best.  However, voting by raising hands works just as well.

***My students chose the first one.

Modeling how to craft a strong lead for personal narratives

Small Group & Conference Reference

A list of lead examples for interactive notebooks or writing binders

As you know, there will be some students who will take these writing strategies and run with with them.  There will also be those who will need further guidance.  Whenever I am conferring with students or meeting with a small group to discuss leads, I have mentor texts and my writing handy.  In addition, I have a list of sample leads from other mentor texts.  The isolated examples below are helpful to inspire students who may need a little more guidance.  I often have them choose a lead they like and help them model their own lead after an example that they like.

***Keep reading to find out how you can download this list, plus an engaging Lead Scavenger Hunt.

Students Inspiring Each Other

One final way to inspire bold beginnings is by having students share with each other.  There are a couple of ways to do this.  During writing workshop, I sometimes call attention to a student who has composed a particularly strong lead.  Alternatively,  students could share at the end of writing workshop, either through a whole group share or by sharing with a writing partner.  Students are often inspired by their peers, so this usually works out well.

***If you would like to read more about writing personal narratives , check out this post which shares three wonderful mentor texts and how to use them for several different lessons.  You can also find ways to help your students find small moments here .

I designed a freebie to make lead strategies more accessible and more engaging.  By filling out the form below, you can have a lead scavenger hunt and interactive notebook resources sent straight to your inbox.  I hope your students have as much fun finding all the different leads as mine do!  Let me know how it goes with your class.

Free resources and activity for composing strong narrative leads

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good leads for essays examples

Mary Wingert, licensed educator (K-12 Special Ed. & 1-8 General Ed)

I started teaching in 1993.   I have taught special education, fifth grade, and fourth grade.  I moved to second grade in 2015, and I am still there today.  

I believe in teaching strategies that are effective, differentiated, and engaging. I am looking forward to building a community of teachers who feels the same!   Read more here.

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50+ Hook Examples: The Opening Lines That Make Your Essay Successful

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Jim Peterson has over 20 years experience on speech writing. He wrote over 300 free speech topic ideas and how-to guides for any kind of public speaking and speech writing assignments at My Speech Class.

The Opening Lines That Make Your Essay Successful intro image

Writing a good paper starts with brainstorming a brilliant hook, which keeps your audience engaged with the text. There are many ways to formulate hooks, which will help your writing sound more original and compelling. Looking at some essay hook examples and tips on writing them is the first step to creating one of your own!

In this article:

What is a Hook?

Tips for creating a great hook, question hook examples, strong statement examples, fact/statistic hook examples, metaphor/simile hook examples, anecdotal hook examples.

A “hook” is a sentence that grabs the reader’s attention and keeps them interested in the outcome of your academic text or research paper. The hook is found in the first sentence or two in the opening paragraph in an academic text and serves both as an introduction and an attention grabber.

In literature, such sentences are often found in novels. A great personal favorite of mine is Christmas Carol’s first sentence: “Marley was dead: to begin with. ” This invites tons of interesting questions and piques your curiosity, making you want to read along.

We come across hook examples in our day-to-day lives, scrolling through YouTube video titles and website links. Clickbait can be considered the hook of the modern world, and there are tons of techniques to learn from it.

However, this article will focus on essay hooks for academic papers specifically. In the section below, we’ll be discussing tips on writing hook sentences and engaging your reader’s interest through a single opening sentence.

There are different types of hook sentences in an essay introduction. We’ll take a look at each type, and a few tips, so later on, you can start formulating your own essay hooks based on these few examples.

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  • Question Hook: If you’re writing an art essay, philosophy paper, or business coursework, choosing a compelling and interesting question will leave the readers pondering throughout your text. The reader will automatically try to look for the answer within your research paper.
  • Strong Statement: The opening lines can be controversial, a bold claim – the best hooks for argumentative essays are. This method can shock your audience, and they’ll be curious to learn how you defend your argument.
  • Fact/Statistic Hook: These hook examples are used for scientific and academic assignments, allowing you to use a lesser-known fact or statistic which will grab the reader’s attention.
  • Metaphor/Simile Hook: You can set up a scene by telling a short story for your readers to imagine before getting to your essay’s core. This metaphor hook can be highly compelling and relatable to your audience.
  • Anecdotal Hook: The trickiest essay hook used to diffuse the tension surrounding a heavy topic. This tricky opening line should be carefully thought out and guaranteed to make the reader laugh and only used in the right circumstances.

If you’re using the fact/statistic hook, always make sure you quote a credible source. The same goes for the interesting facts hook type. Include those sources in the body of your essay.

It also helps to think of a hook you came across recently that made an impression on you. Was it a controversial blog post? A captivating personal story? A thesis statement that made you ponder?

Once you finish reading our article, it’s helpful to test your hook and introductory paragraph out to an audience. Have another student, tutor, or parent read it. See if it’s doing its purpose – is the reader engaged? What did they understand from your hook? Is the essay topic clear?

Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get it right the first time. Writing is a long process and requires a lot of rewriting. Take a small break and give it another go.

How to Write a Great Hook + Examples

There are two crucial points to follow when you write a hook:

  • Keep your sentences short – don’t overstuff your sentences or let them run longer than two rows.
  • Use simple, comprehensive language – the ultimate essay can be read and understood by anyone, even people outside your academic course.

It’s time to get to the examples!

  • What if I told you the world has an unlimited energy resource?
  • How much screen time is too much for elementary school children?
  • Is online education the best way to learn in the middle of a pandemic?
  • Did you know women are twice as likely to experience clinical depression than men?
  • Are your evening habits keeping you from getting a good night’s sleep?
  • Do jobs that require degrees have a higher earning potential?
  • How important is it for YouTubers to use search engine optimization strategies?
  • Will the consumption of meat products become a luxury in the year 2050?
  • Has reading become more challenging due to our short attention span?
  • Have you ever wondered why traffic builds up on no-stop roads?
  • Why we should feel sorry for high achievers?
  • Why you don’t need to be exceptional?
  • How much sugar do you think you consume?
  • The effects of global warming are irreversible, so what can we do to optimize our living now?
  • Should fireworks be banned due to noise pollution and its effect on animals?
  • Has television died in place for streaming services?
  • Is our hatred of certain foods and flavors a direct result of our genetic heritage?
  • Android app development will die out in the next twenty years.
  • You’ll always marry the wrong person.
  • Why is ordinary life not good enough anymore?
  • Why are romantics ruining love?
  • “The wicked tend to win” Machiavelli
  • The hardest person in the world to break up with.
  • Some imaginary friends can cultivate independence in a child.
  • Did you know that space smells like seared steak?
  • The human body houses 10 times more bacteria than it does cells.
  • The longest war in the world is between the Netherlands and Sicily and here’s what happened.
  • “A country that demands moral perfection in its foreign policy will achieve neither perfection nor security” H. Kissinger
  • Cat purring can be beneficial to your health.
  • There is a scientific explanation behind boredom.
  • The average drunk driver drives under the influence more than 80 times before they get arrested for the first time.
  • 1/3 of adults still sleep with a comfort toy in bed.
  • The average American generates nearly 4.5 pounds of trash each day.
  • The global rate for keeping good hygiene after using the toilet is 20%.
  • Americans read for pleasure for less than 10 minutes every day.
  • The average American eats around 13 pounds of ice cream each year.
  • More than 1/2 million people experience homelessness each night.
  • Approximately 90% of people who experience a cardiac arrest outside of hospitals die.
  • Farmers and ranchers make up less than 2% of Americans.
  • Approximately half of Americans will experience a mental illness during their lifetime.
  • My cousin Joanna went to a party with red lipstick all over her teeth. I couldn’t help myself to tell her.
  • I dressed up as a werewolf last Halloween. That’s when everything started.
  • As a child my grandfather gave my grandma her favorite flower- a rose on every holiday. Does this kind of love still exist?
  • Last year my parents dragged me to Paris six times. I had the most dreadful time – I just couldn’t understand how such a historic city can be so dirty, or why.
  • The cause and effect example – when talking about the importance of safety, tell a story with an important moral.
  • Imagine sitting by the fire with the love of your life…
  • I have a four-year old baby – my publishing business I started in 2018.
  • The picture of… brought back memories of…
  • It’s difficult to talk about… because…
  • If you were a famous person, would you…
  • When I was 6, I was given a pet hamster for Christmas. Needless to say, little Zach is gone now, but I wonder how long he could have lived if I had been given it at 12?
  • One reason I decided to switch to a healthy diet is… well it’s cheaper than buying a whole new set of clothes!
  • I like talking to myself. Sometimes I have these seemingly clever and long conversations. I hardly have a clue what I’m talking about.

Mastering the hook sentence is something you might end up using in your day-to-day life, especially if you go into academia, publishing, or journalism as a career choice. But that’s not it – we use hooks to communicate on social media. The title of our blog post or recent youtube video are examples of well-formulated hooks. The quicker you start practicing them the easier they’ll become to use.

If you’re having any other academic trouble, like coming up with essay topics , or you want to learn the outlines of the different essay types, we can help you with that! You’ll become an essay writing pro in no time! We’ve got some good and interesting research paper topics we’re proud of, as well as demonstration speech topics ! Hook sentence examples are just the start!

We hope this article has helped you master the art of essay writing, and you now find the reader agrees with your point of view! Let us know of any good hook examples you came up with!

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Feb 15, 2023

Essays on Leadership for Students | 200 - 500 Word Essays

Are you writing an essay about leadership? Check out these examples!

Leadership is often defined as "the action of inspiring others to act in concert to achieve a particular goal." It signifies the harmony in actions that lead to a common objective. A genuine leader not only exudes confidence but also paves the way for their followers towards triumph. Over the years, various leadership styles have been identified and discussed by psychologists.

 Qualities such as intelligence, adaptability, extroversion, innate self-awareness, and social competence often emerge as the hallmarks of impactful leaders. There's a consensus that these traits mold an individual into an effective leader. Interestingly, some theories suggest that extraordinary situations can thrust an ordinary individual into the spotlight, bestowing upon them the mantle of leadership. It's also believed that leadership isn't a static trait but an evolving journey. It underscores the belief that with dedication and the right resources, anyone can hone their leadership abilities.

 True leadership goes beyond merely advocating for a cause. It involves taking responsibility, igniting motivation in others, and differentiating oneself from just being a 'boss'. A leader's essence lies in their ability to inspire and propel people towards grand visions, whereas a manager typically focuses on oversight and operational aspects.

What Is a Leadership Essay?

A leadership essay falls under the category of student application essays and serves to provide student admissions officers with insight into your past leadership experiences. Despite appearing to be very specific, this type of essay acknowledges that the nature and perception of leadership can vary significantly depending on the individual and the context.

 If you find yourself in need of further insights or a unique angle for your leadership essay, consider exploring an expert essay-writing tool designed to assist students in crafting compelling narratives by analyzing vast data and generating fresh ideas within minutes. In this article, we'll also delve into various leadership essay examples to offer a clearer understanding of the genre and inspire your writing journey.

4 Examples of Leadership Essays

Qualities of a good leader, introduction.

Confidence is the most important attribute first of all. One of the most important qualities in a leader is confidence in one's own abilities. A lack of self-assurance is fatal to a person's leadership potential. If you want others to follow you, you need to exude self-assurance. It's imperative for a leader to have faith in his own judgment and actions. How can people want to follow him if he doesn't even know what he's doing?

Every effective leader knows that they need to be an inspiration to their followers. A leader needs to set an example for his team. In addition, he ought to inspire them whenever feasible. A leader must also maintain optimism in trying times.

What qualities a good leader must have?

Leadership is the ability to influence and guide individuals or groups toward a common goal. A leader must possess several qualities to be effective, including:

Communication skills: A leader must be able to communicate their vision and goals clearly and effectively, both verbally and in writing. This requires excellent listening skills, empathy, and the ability to adapt to different communication styles.

Emotional intelligence: A leader must be able to understand and manage their own emotions, as well as those of their team members. This includes being able to understand and respond to the emotions of others, and handling conflicts in a constructive manner.

Visionary: A leader must have a clear and inspiring vision of the future, and be able to articulate this vision in a way that motivates others to work towards it.

Strategic thinking: A leader must be able to think critically and creatively to identify and solve problems, make decisions, and develop plans and strategies to achieve their goals.

Flexibility: A leader must be able to adapt to changing circumstances and be open to new ideas and perspectives. This requires the ability to embrace change, be innovative, and continuously learn and grow.

Integrity: A leader must have strong ethics and values, and be willing to make difficult decisions that are consistent with their beliefs. This requires honesty, transparency, and accountability.

Decisiveness: A leader must be able to make tough decisions quickly, without undue hesitation or procrastination. This requires courage and the ability to take calculated risks.

Empowerment: A leader must be able to delegate responsibilities, give team members the resources they need to succeed, and foster a sense of ownership and accountability among their team.

Conclusion 

These qualities are essential for effective leadership, and when combined with hard work, determination, and a commitment to excellence, can help leaders to achieve great things.

How one can be a Great Leader?

Leadership is the act of performing the duties of a leader. In the business world, for instance, it is essential to have someone in charge of a team to ensure everything runs well. Effective leadership is essential for any group that wants to maximize its prospects of success.

Leadership Comes from Experience

As we've shown, leadership can be innate in some cases but is more often learned through practice and exposure. Sometimes the best traits of a leader must be learned over a lengthy period of time, so that one can become a notable one, proving that leadership is not always about a person's innate qualities. Leaders should continuously be on the lookout for opportunities to grow their leadership skills.

Nobody can disagree that experience is a key component of leadership. Numerous examples exist to back up this claim, such as:

Instance 1:

Our school's head boy or girl has traditionally been an older student who has been around for a while and thus has a better grasp of the ins and outs of school politics.

Instance 2:

When there is a vacancy for a team leader, it is common practice for the employee who has consistently put in the most effort and attention to the office job to receive a higher number of votes than their coworkers. 

“The best teacher for a leader is evaluated experience.” - John C. Maxwell

How one can be a Great Leader/Skills to be a Great Leader?

Effective leadership is a skill that develops through time. Developing into a leader with all the qualities that are needed takes a lot of hard work and potential. Being a prominent leader calls for a wide variety of traits. Some of these characteristics are addressed in further detail below:

One should be a Good Communicator

To be an effective leader, one must be able to convey his thoughts clearly to his/her/its subordinates.

Should have Confidence

The individual should have faith in what he says and does.

Give Credit to other Team Members too

A leader not only needs to impose his viewpoints and opinions instead he must also hear to the suggestions of other members of the team and offer them credit if their concept is appropriate.

Good Bond with the Team

A leader's ability to command respect from his team members depends on his ability to develop and maintain positive relationships with them.

Leads with Responsibility

A leader needs to be completely committed to his position. It's important that he takes on responsibility so that he can effectively deal with the various challenges he will inevitably face.

Any group or organization needs a leader above all else. Leadership development takes time and effort. One needs to have lived through a lot to be an effective leader. It's not enough to simply have years of experience in the field; one must also have the traits that make one an effective leader. You can't be a great leader unless you possess certain traits.

What makes a Good Leader?

Trying one's hand as a leader appears easy when viewed through this lens. Is that so tough? Of course not; leading is difficult, and not everyone aspires to be a leader. The vast majority of us have settled into well-established careers where we report to superiors and make a living. Still, not everyone is content to go along with the crowd. They become leaders in whatever field they pursue. A leader is an example to followers and will prioritize the needs of those around them.

Some Unique Qualities of a Leader

Many individuals resort to their leaders to vent their frustrations, therefore it's important for them to be good listeners.

A leader ought to be completely forthright; they can't play favorites or give anyone preferential treatment. One of the most essential qualities of a strong leader is the ability to make decisions with integrity.

They need to be aware of the bigger picture and understand what makes an individual stand out or become a leader. It's their expertise in addition to other distinguishing traits. Their awareness of current events and the results of recent studies is essential. In many ways, this is helpful, and it's the leader's responsibility to stay current.

Since some might not understand them, they should utilize straightforward, easily comprehended language. Leaders need to be able to communicate effectively at all times. In reality, what sets them apart is their exceptional communication skills. Adolf Hitler was such a gifted orator that his followers believed every word he said.

No matter how you're feeling or what's going on in the world, if you listen to a leader, they may make you feel energized. Since leaders are in charge of inspiring confidence in their followers, they can't afford to be wary or unsure of themselves. People tend to blindly follow their leaders.

Whether you're a leader or a doctor, you should devote yourself completely to your chosen field. Everything we do is for the benefit of others; engineers, for example, spend much of their time designing and constructing buildings for other people. So, take pride in what you do, and if you possess the aforementioned traits, you are also a leader who doesn't have to rely on others to succeed. No matter what you do, aspiring to leadership positions will always benefit others.

What is Leadership in Management and what are the weaknesses and strengths of a Leader?

Simply said, leadership is acting as a supervisor or manager of a group. Different mental pictures pop up when we hear the word "leadership" used in conversation. One might think of a political leader, team leader, corporate leader, school leader, etc. Leaders facilitate order and efficiency in the workplace. Teamwork and success are fundamental to effective leadership. Leaders utilize their managerial abilities to establish courses and guide their teams to success.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Leadership

Able to express oneself more clearly

Growth of character.

Self-awareness.

Possession of teamwork skills.

Gain assurance in yourself.

Weaknesses:

Acting favorably toward one's teammates.

Having no faith in the leader.

Thinks they're better than everyone else, but act hypocritically.

Not living up to the promised standard.

Insufficient morals.

Leadership and Management

Management and leadership are inextricably linked to one another. Leadership and management are both vital to the efficient operation of an organization; but, they accomplish very different things in the process. Leadership is a necessary skill for anyone aspiring to be an effective manager. The terms management and leadership are synonymous with one another. In this manner, we are able to draw the conclusion that a manager who demonstrates the traits of a successful leader is, in fact, a manager who is effective.

Leadership in School

Leadership is essential in nearly every group, as we've seen above. That group includes one's educational institution. Every school needs an outstanding figure to serve as its head of school. Class monitor, assembly captain, cultural leader, etc. are all examples of leadership roles that can be taken on at school, but this raises the question of what makes a person a successful school leader.

Any student hoping to be chosen as a student body leader will need to demonstrate a wide range of competencies. He or she needs to be a consistent student who pays attention in class and does well in extracurricular activities. For the simple reason that no intelligent and hardworking kid would ever be considered for leadership. Student leaders are most often selected from among those who participate fully in all activities.

Leadership in Organization

Leadership in an organization, also known as organizational leadership, is the process of establishing long-term objectives that further the company's mission and help it reach its ultimate destination. This is a classic illustration of how Bill Gates often works with his team: they agree on a strategy, and Gates implements it. To the same extent, it is the responsibility of the leader in each given organization to determine what it is that the group is trying to accomplish.

Leadership in Politics

Leadership in politics, also known as political leadership, is the process of becoming actively involved in a political party in the role of a party leader. Knowledge of political processes, their outcomes, and the political agenda is central to the idea of political leadership.

An effective leader can be developed in anyone who has the determination and drives to do so. Both the strengths and the areas for improvement should be nurtured. Whether in the classroom, the workplace, or the political arena, leadership is always necessary. Therefore, one can exercise leadership anywhere they like inside their own organization.

What are the types of Leadership?

The ability to lead is a rare trait that not everyone possesses. The ability to do so is a gift, so count your blessings if you possess it. It's recommended that you hone it even more so that you can propel your career forward and serve as an example to people around you. However, it is crucial to grasp the various leadership styles before you go ahead and polish your skills.

Types of Leadership Styles

Democratic Leadership

In this style of management, subordinates are given a voice in decision-making. Although the subordinates' efforts are highlighted, the leader is ultimately held responsible for the group's actions. Many people find this type of leadership to be effective.

Transformational Leadership

Transformational leaders motivate and inspire others to adopt new behaviors and ways of thinking in order to improve their own performance and that of their teams and organizations. A transformational leader is someone who encourages their team to strive for greater things and works to boost morale and output.

Team Leadership

A good leader fully incorporates his team into the task at hand. Members of the team are motivated to reach their goals and advance in their careers thanks to the leadership of the group.

Strategic Leadership

It requires a chief executive who doesn't restrict himself to brainstorming sessions with his superiors. He contributes on every level of the team. He is well-liked for his ability to unite the need for fresh ideas with the necessity of grounding them in reality.

Autocratic Leadership

The leader in a command and control structure is the center of attention. The chief executive has absolute power in this setting. He decides things on his own, without polling his staff. He relays this information to his staff and stresses the importance of swift action. The buck stops with him, and he alone must answer for his actions. Not much room for negotiation exists. It's no secret that this method of leading has its detractors.

Visionary Leadership

This kind of leader appreciates the abilities and requirements of his team members. He describes his ideal outcome and the teamwork that will be necessary to attain it.

Coaching Leadership

Leaders who coach their teams do so regularly in an effort to raise output. He inspires his employees to do better and works to keep them motivated. This approach to leadership has been much praised.

Facilitative Leadership

With occasional guidance, a facilitative leader ensures that the process runs smoothly for his team. As a precaution in case his team is ineffective. If the team is highly effective, the leader will take a hands-off approach.

Cross-Cultural Leadership

The leadership of this type is necessary when interacting with people from various cultural backgrounds. Because of the wide variety of cultures represented in the workforce across the United States, many managers and executives hold cross-cultural positions.

Laissez-Faire Leadership

The members of the team are given responsibility in this style of management. They are free to choose how they spend their time at work, with minimal oversight from the boss. It's not a good way to lead, according to experts.

Transactional Leadership

An interactive approach is integral to this kind of leadership. When team members successfully implement their leader's ideas and choices, they are rewarded with immediate, material benefits.

Charismatic Leadership

In order to bring out the best in his followers, this kind of leader makes the effort to change their attitudes, values, and actions.

This article should dispel the notion that leadership qualities can't be further subdivided. It should also assist you in pinpointing your own personal brand of leadership so you can perfect it over time.

Final Words

In conclusion, leadership is a complex and multifaceted concept that involves various qualities and skills. Effective leaders possess traits such as integrity, vision, empathy, decisiveness, and the ability to inspire and motivate others. They are able to navigate challenges, make difficult decisions, and lead their team toward success. Leadership also involves continuous learning and self-improvement, as leaders must adapt to changing circumstances and remain relevant. Effective leadership can have a positive impact on both individuals and organizations, fostering growth and creating a culture of success.

You can use Jenni.ai to quickly compose an essay on leadership, or any other topic, of your choosing. It's a fantastic choice that promises convenience and relief. Create an essay on any topic in a matter of minutes with the help of our AI-powered program. Membership is immediately available upon your free registration here.

You can use Jenni.ai to quickly compose an essay on leadership, or any other topic, of your choosing. It's a fantastic choice that promises convenience and relief. Create an essay on any topic in a matter of minutes with the help of our AI-powered program. Sign up on Jenni.ai and get a free trial.

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IMAGES

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  2. *Free* Types of Leads (Attention Grabbers) For Writing Essays

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  3. Essay Introduction Hook

    good leads for essays examples

  4. Writing Strong Leads Worksheet Writing Strong Leads with Images

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  5. How to Write a Catchy Hook for an Essay: 5 Types of Essay Hooks (With

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  6. Examples of leads written for essays

    good leads for essays examples

VIDEO

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  2. Custom Essay Writing & Essay Examples

  3. How To Became A Successful Leader Essay

  4. Top 10 Leadership Essay Examples

  5. 5 Ways to Generate Leads for Your Firm

  6. 7 Best ways to generate leads

COMMENTS

  1. A good lead is everything

    It sets the tone and pace and direction for everything that follows. It is the puzzle piece on which the rest of the story depends. To that end, please write your lead first — don't undermine it by going back and thinking of one to slap on after you've finished writing the rest of the story. Coming up with a good lead is hard.

  2. Lead Writing: A Definitive Guide

    Imagine we retired this hackneyed, worn-out lead. 10 Worthy Examples of Good Lead Writing 1. Short and simple. Edna Buchanan, the Pulitzer Prize-winning crime reporter for The Miami Herald, wrote a story about an ex-con named Gary Robinson. One drunken night in the '80s, Robinson stumbled into a Church's Chicken, where he was told there was ...

  3. Writing an Essay Lead That Pops

    A strong essay opener will include three key elements: The theme or agenda of your essay, offering the first few facts about who you are, what you are interested in doing with your life/career/studies, and/or important influences. Creative details or descriptions. Energetic writing that will keep the reader engaged through the rest of the essay.

  4. How to Use Lead Sentences to Improve Your Essay Writing

    And our lead sentence could be: "Camera movement in the final scene helps intensify the main characters' anguish.". Please note that in each case, whether the lead sentence opens the entire essay or just a paragraph, its job is to summarize the contents perfectly. Lead sentences really help you focus on the subject matter of what comes ...

  5. How to Write a Lead Paragraph that Wins Readers' Attention

    Take fifteen minutes to write a lead paragraph that will grab readers' attention. Revise the first paragraph of your current work in progress, or write the beginning of something new. When you're done, share your practice in the comments. Don't forget to leave feedback for your fellow writers! 267. SHARES.

  6. Writing Leads

    Tips for Writing a Lead. The Five W's and H: Before writing a lead, decide which aspect of the story - who, what, when, where, why, how - is most important. You should emphasize those aspects in your lead. Wait to explain less important aspects until the second or third sentence. Conflict: Good stories have conflict.

  7. How to Write a Good Lead: 9 Formulas

    Enter the lead: a single sentence, paragraph, or section that summarizes the who, what, where, when, why, and how of your story. Think of leads as being like teaser trailers for movies. You get a sense of what the movie is about, yet the teaser leaves you wanting more. A great lead does the same. Good leads require both precision and brevity.

  8. Writing Leads

    The Five W's and H. Before writing a lead, you need to ask the fundamental questions of newswriting; who, what, when, where, why, and how. Be sure to answer these questions in your lead and leave the less important information for later in your article. Remember the inverted pyramid. Keep it Simple: The best lead is one that is concise and clear.

  9. Lead (Lede): Writing the Opening Sentences

    Updated on April 14, 2018. A lead or lede refers to the opening sentences of a brief composition or the first paragraph or two of a longer article or essay. Leads introduce the topic or purpose of a paper, and particularly in the case of journalism, need to grab the reader's attention. A lead is a promise of what's to come, a promise that the ...

  10. 7 Strategies to Write the Perfect Lead

    Mood. Begin with a description of the mood that the writer wants to communicate to the reader. Emotions are the focus. The look on people's faces, the feel in the room (tension or relaxation), the words that are spoken, as well as people's thoughts can be emphasized. Example:

  11. How to Write a Lead Paragraph

    To be specific, remember who and its friends. Pick one, or another question, to answer, and wrap the lede around it. To accomplish brevity (ideally, a lede should consist of less than thirty words), choose strong, vivid nouns and verbs, eschew verbosity and redundancy, and make every word count. To test the lede, read it aloud, and omit ...

  12. 52 Ways to Write Interesting Leads

    a personal vacation. an intriguing question. a shocking statement (eg, "Writing interesting leads is the only part of a freelance writing career that makes someone want to tear their eyelashes out.". good or bad advice. an opinion. a obituary. a verse from the Bible. a controversial idea. statistical information.

  13. How to Write a Lead Like a Professional Blogger

    In classic, helpful, how-to style, Ann dishes forth a menu of useful options for writing leads like a pro: — Put your reader into the story (as Jon's done above). — Describe a problem your reader can relate to. — Set a stage. — Ask a question. — Quote a crazy or controversial bit of data.

  14. Writing, Introduction Paragraph, Hooks and Lead-ins

    The use of hooks in writing goes far beyond just essays and college papers. Every writer, copywriter, screenwriter, and storyteller uses this device to draw in readers and keep them hooked. For example, world-famous ad executive, David Ogilvy, relied on a list of 29 " magic words " that he used in titles in order to hook a client's attention.

  15. Six Rules for Writing a Straight News Lead

    Rule #1: A straight news lead should be a single paragraph consisting of a single sentence, should contain no more than 30 words, and should summarize, at minimum, the most newsworthy "what," "where" and "when" of the story. Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday morning.". The lead is a single-sentence ...

  16. 27 Outstanding College Essay Examples From Top Universities 2024

    This college essay tip is by Abigail McFee, Admissions Counselor for Tufts University and Tufts '17 graduate. 2. Write like a journalist. "Don't bury the lede!" The first few sentences must capture the reader's attention, provide a gist of the story, and give a sense of where the essay is heading.

  17. How to Write a Good Lead: Crafting an Attention-Grabbing First Sentence

    Crafting an Attention-Grabbing First Sentence. The most important part of a lead is the first sentence. This sentence should grab the reader's attention and make them want to read on. To achieve this, the sentence should be concise and direct, while still conveying the main idea of the article. Additionally, it should be interesting and ...

  18. PDF 1. Begin with one or more questions that grab the reader's attention. 2

    Objective: To help you understand / practice lead-ins and thesis statements. Directions: Review the CNN page explaining strategies for writing an attention grabbing introduction to any essay. Re-read the essay question, choose two lead-in strategies, and create a lead-in which could be used in the introductory paragraph of your essay. 1.

  19. Writing an Effective Leadership Essay: Tips and Examples

    A leadership essay is a college application essay that requires you to share your previous experiences as a leader. We've got examples to help you write one.

  20. Signal and Lead-in Phrases

    Often, signal phrases can be distinguished by the presence of a verb like "indicate" or "argue" that references what the author is doing in the original source. However, a few select signal phrases contain no verbs (e.g., "According to [author],"). In the examples below, the author being cited is Jane Doe. The examples in the first section are ...

  21. Personal Narratives with Strong Leads

    Three of my favorite mentor texts for narrative leads are Jabari Jumps, Thundercake, and Shortcut. Dialogue for a Strong Lead. " 'I'm jumping off the diving board today,' Jabari told his dad.". Jabari Jumps is an excellent example of a personal narrative that focuses on a small moment where Jabari overcomes his fear of jumping off the ...

  22. 50+ Catchy Hook Examples for a Compelling Reading Experience

    Question Hook: If you're writing an art essay, philosophy paper, or business coursework, choosing a compelling and interesting question will leave the readers pondering throughout your text. The reader will automatically try to look for the answer within your research paper. Strong Statement: The opening lines can be controversial, a bold claim - the best hooks for argumentative essays are.

  23. Essays on Leadership for Students

    In this article, we'll also delve into various leadership essay examples to offer a clearer understanding of the genre and inspire your writing journey. 4 Examples of Leadership Essays. Qualities of a Good Leader; Introduction. Confidence is the most important attribute first of all. One of the most important qualities in a leader is confidence ...