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Loyalty: An Essay on the Morality of Relationships

• ISBN-10 0195098323
• ISBN-13 978-0195098327
• Publisher Oxford University Press
• Publication date July 13, 1995
• Language English
• Dimensions 5.52 x 0.58 x 8.5 inches
• Print length 224 pages
• See all details

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• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Oxford University Press (July 13, 1995)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0195098323
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0195098327
• Lexile measure ‏ : ‎ 1450L
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 6.4 ounces
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.52 x 0.58 x 8.5 inches
• #2,749 in Ethics
• #3,029 in Political History (Books)
• #4,263 in Ancient & Classical Literary Criticism (Books)

About the author

George p. fletcher.

George P. Fletcher is considered to be one of today's leading legal scholars in the fields of torts and criminal law, in particular, comparative and international criminal law. Reflecting on the events in his personal and professional life during the past 70 years, the linguistic dimension clearly dominates and overshadows these activities. Growing up in the United States at a time when English was considered to be the only language needed, Fletcher mastered six additional languages. As a result of his fluency, he was thrust to the forefront of the international legal world. "My Life in Seven Languages", a lingustic memoir, probes Fletcher's legal experiences and family relationships that would not have otherwise been possible as a mono-linguist. George P. Fletcher is the Cardozo Professor of Jurisprudence at Columbia Law School.

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Home > Faculty Publications > Faculty Books > 82

Faculty Books

Loyalty: An Essay on the Morality of Relationships

George P. Fletcher , Columbia Law School Follow

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https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780195098327.001.0001

Description

At a time when age-old political structures are crumbling, civil strife abounds, and economic uncertainty permeates the air, loyalty offers us security in our relationships with associates, friends, and family. Yet loyalty is a suspect virtue. It is not impartial. It is not blind. It violates the principles of morality that have dominated Western thought for the last two hundred years.

Loyalties are also thought to be irrational and contrary to the spirit of Capitalism. In a free market society, we are encouraged to move to the competition when we are not happy. This way of thinking has invaded our personal relationships and undermined our capacities for friendship and loyalty to those who do not serve our immediate interests. As George P. Fletcher writes, it is time for loyal bonds, born of history and experience, to prevail both over impartial morality and the self-interested thinking of the market trader.

In this extended essay, George P. Fletcher offers an account of loyalty that illuminates its role in our relationships with family and friends, our ties to country, and the commitment of the religious to God and their community. Fletcher opposes the traditional view of the moral self as detached from context and history. He argues instead that loyalty, not impartial detachment, should be the central feature of our moral and political lives. Writing as a political "liberal," he claims that a commitment to country is necessary to improve the lot of the poor and disadvantaged. This commitment to country may well require greater reliance on patriotic rituals in education and a reconsideration of the Supreme Court's extending the First Amendment to protect flag burning. Given the worldwide currents of parochialism and political decentralization, the task for us, Fletcher argues, is to renew our commitment to a single nation united in its diversity.

Bringing to bear his expertise as a law professor, Fletcher reasons that the legal systems should defer to existing relationships of loyalty. Familial, professional, and religious loyalties should be respected as relationships beyond the limits of the law. Thus surrogate mothers should not be forced to surrender and betray their children, spouses should not be required to testify against each other in court, parents should not be prevented from willing their property to their children, and the religiously committed should not be forced to act contrary to conscience.

Yet the question remains: Aren't loyalty, and particularly patriotism, dangerously one-sided? Indeed, they are, but no more than are love and friendship. The challenge, Fletcher maintains, is to overcome the distorting effects of impartial morality and to develop a morality of loyalty properly suited to our emotional and spiritual lives. Justice has its sphere, as do loyalties. In this book, Fletcher provides the first step toward a new way of thinking that recognizes the complexity of our moral and political lives.

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Ethics and Political Philosophy | Philosophy | Political Science | Political Theory

Oxford University Press

New York, NY

"The example I'd chose for style in making points is Loyalty: An Essay on the Morality of Relationships , by George P. Fletcher." — William Safire , International Herald Tribune

"You may not always agree with Mr. Fletcher's conclusions, but you cannot help being engaged by the argument.... Revivifies a topic too long dormant and sheds new light on what it could mean today to stand by your country." — The New York Times Book Review

"Provocative." — Kirkus Reviews

"George Fletcher writes with a rare combination of legal knowledge, theoretical sophistication, and common sense. His remarkable feel for the place of loyalty in everyday life makes this a book that should figure importantly in contemporary moral, political, and constitutional debates." — Michael Walzer , Professor of Social Science, Princeton University

"An appealing statement of intellectual modesty in a brisk, effective book. One suspects Loyalty will win Fletcher an enduring audience, which is just the sort he might want." — The Philadelphia Inquirer

Recommended Citation

Fletcher, George P., "Loyalty: An Essay on the Morality of Relationships" (1993). Faculty Books . 82. https://scholarship.law.columbia.edu/books/82

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Incantations of loyalty

• Book Review
• Published: May 1994
• Volume 13 , pages 241–250, ( 1994 )

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• B.Sharon Byrd 1  

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Department of Law and Language, University of Augsburg, 86159, Augsburg, Germany

B.Sharon Byrd

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Byrd, B. Incantations of loyalty. Law Philos 13 , 241–250 (1994). https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01001203

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• ASIN ‏ : ‎ B000QTD18I
• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Oxford University Press (13 July 1995)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• File size ‏ : ‎ 3781 KB
• Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Not enabled
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• X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
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• Print length ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
• 2,191 in Literary Studies
• 3,701 in Ethics & Morality (Kindle Store)
• 3,777 in Political History & Theory

About the author

George p. fletcher.

George P. Fletcher is considered to be one of today's leading legal scholars in the fields of torts and criminal law, in particular, comparative and international criminal law. Reflecting on the events in his personal and professional life during the past 70 years, the linguistic dimension clearly dominates and overshadows these activities. Growing up in the United States at a time when English was considered to be the only language needed, Fletcher mastered six additional languages. As a result of his fluency, he was thrust to the forefront of the international legal world. "My Life in Seven Languages", a lingustic memoir, probes Fletcher's legal experiences and family relationships that would not have otherwise been possible as a mono-linguist. George P. Fletcher is the Cardozo Professor of Jurisprudence at Columbia Law School.

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At a time when age-old political structures are crumbling, civil strife abounds, and economic uncertainty permeates the air, loyalty offers us security in our relationships with associates, friends, and family. Yet loyalty is a suspect virtue. It is not impartial. It is not blind. It violates the principles of morality that have dominated Western thought for the last two hundred years. Loyalties are also thought to be irrational and contrary to the spirit of Capitalism. In a free market society, we are encouraged to move to the competition when we are not happy. This way of thinking has invaded our personal relationships and undermined our capacities for friendship and loyalty to those who do not serve our immediate interests. As George P. Fletcher writes, it is time for loyal bonds, born of history and experience, to prevail both over impartial morality and the self-interested thinking of the market trader. In this extended essay, George P. Fletcher offers an account of loyalty that illuminates its role in our relationships with family and friends, our ties to country, and the commitment of the religious to God and their community. Fletcher opposes the traditional view of the moral self as detached from context and history. He argues instead that loyalty, not impartial detachment, should be the central feature of our moral and political lives. Writing as a political "liberal," he claims that a commitment to country is necessary to improve the lot of the poor and disadvantaged. This commitment to country may well require greater reliance on patriotic rituals in education and a reconsideration of the Supreme Court's extending the First Amendment to protect flag burning. Given the worldwide currents of parochialism and political decentralization, the task for us, Fletcher argues, is to renew our commitment to a single nation united in its diversity. Bringing to bear his expertise as a law professor, Fletcher reasons that the legal systems should defer to existing relationships of loyalty. Familial, professional, and religious loyalties should be respected as relationships beyond the limits of the law. Thus surrogate mothers should not be forced to surrender and betray their children, spouses should not be required to testify against each other in court, parents should not be prevented from willing their property to their children, and the religiously committed should not be forced to act contrary to conscience. Yet the question remains: Aren't loyalty, and particularly patriotism, dangerously one-sided? Indeed, they are, but no more than are love and friendship. The challenge, Fletcher maintains, is to overcome the distorting effects of impartial morality and to develop a morality of loyalty properly suited to our emotional and spiritual lives. Justice has its sphere, as do loyalties. In this book, Fletcher provides the first step toward a new way of thinking that recognizes the complexity of our moral and political lives.

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From the Back Cover

In this important work, George P. Fletcher argues that it is time for loyal bonds, born of history and experience, to prevail both over impartial morality and the self-interested thinking of the market trader. Offering an account of loyalty that illuminates its role in our relationships with family and friends, our ties to country, and the commitment of the religious to God and their community.

About the Author

George P. Fletcher is Beekman Professor of Law at Columbia University. He is the author of A Crime of Self-Defense: Bernard Goetz and the Law on Trial.

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• ISBN 13  9780195098327
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Softcover. Condition: Good. At a time when age-old political structures are crumbling, civil strife abounds, and economic uncertainty permeates the air, loyalty offers us security in our relationships with associates, friends, and family. Yet loyalty is a suspect virtue. It is not impartial. It is not blind. It violates the principles of morality that have dominated Western thought for the last two hundred years.Loyalties are also thought to be irrational and contrary to the spirit of Capitalism. In a free market society, we are encouraged to move to the competition when we are not happy. This way of thinking has invaded our personal relationships and undermined our capacities for friendship and loyalty to those who do not serve our immediate interests. As George P. Fletcher writes, it is time for loyal bonds, born of history and experience, to prevail both over impartial morality and the self-interested thinking of the market trader.In this extended essay, George P. Fletcher offers an account of loyalty that illuminates its role in our relationships with family and friends, our ties to country, and the commitment of the religious to God and their community. Fletcher opposes the traditional view of the moral self as detached from context and history. He argues instead that loyalty, not impartial detachment, should be the central feature of our moral and political lives. Writing as a political &quot;liberal,&quot; he claims that a commitment to country is necessary to improve the lot of the poor and disadvantaged. This commitment to country may well require greater reliance on patriotic rituals in education and a reconsideration of the Supreme Court&apos;s extending the First Amendment to protect flag burning. Given the worldwide currents of parochialism and political decentralization, the task for us, Fletcher argues, is to renew our commitment to a single nation united in its diversity.Bringing to bear his expertise as a law professor, Fletcher reasons that the legal systems should defer to existing relationships of loyalty. Familial, professional, and religious loyalties should be respected as relationships beyond the limits of the law. Thus surrogate mothers should not be forced to surrender and betray their children, spouses should not be required to testify against each other in court, parents should not be prevented from willing their property to their children, and the religiously committed should not be forced to act contrary to conscience.Yet the question remains: Aren&apos;t loyalty, and particularly patriotism, dangerously one-sided? Indeed, they are, but no more than are love and friendship. The challenge, Fletcher maintains, is to overcome the distorting effects of impartial morality and to develop a morality of loyalty properly suited to our emotional and spiritual lives. Justice has its sphere, as do loyalties. In this book, Fletcher provides the first step toward a new way of thinking that recognizes the complexity of our moral and political lives. Seller Inventory # SONG0195098323

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Love is a profound connection that brings two people together, often transcending barriers of culture, race, and background. Finding someone who honors and loves all parts of you and with whom you feel a sense of deep connection can feel exhilarating and overwhelming in all the right ways. Logically, when we find such a person, we experience the kind of joy we can’t wait to share with our family members, and we assume they will automatically embrace the person we’ve chosen to love. We believe they will see what we see, they will love who we love.

This is why realizing that your family doesn’t and won’t embrace your partner can be absolutely devastating. This kind of pain is deep, and it affects not only your partner but also yourself, your family dynamics, and your relationship.

Not understanding why your family won't accept your partner can make matters worse, and can lead to intense conflict, with both sides firmly entrenched in their perspectives and refusing to budge. Having some level of awareness as to why they're hesitating to embrace your partner may help alleviate some of that conflict.

For example, your family's disapproval may stem from their own deep-rooted beliefs, cultural norms, and personal biases that are tied to sacred family values inherited from previous generations. Perhaps your family is afraid that you’re straying from the path they envisioned that aligns with said beliefs, causing them to become fiercely protective of you and of their worldviews. Perhaps they have seen you suffering from a poor choice in partners in the past, and they no longer trust you or your judgment and want to protect you from further harm.

It’s important to recognize that, in so many cases, disapproval may not necessarily be about your partner as a person, but rather about fear , misunderstandings, preconceived notions, or simply a desire to maintain the status quo. Recognizing this may help you see beyond the surface conflict and acknowledge that there are much deeper emotions at play.

The takeaway here? It likely has nothing to do with you, or with your partner.

For your partner, this experience can be profoundly isolating. They may feel rejected, not only by your family but also by the culture and traditions that are important to you, the person they love deeply. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and even resentment. They might also struggle with the pressure to conform or change to be accepted, which is a spiritually draining experience for anyone.

As the person caught in the middle, you too will experience a significant emotional toll. The ongoing pressure to mediate, appease, and navigate conflicting loyalties can be downright overwhelming. You may feel guilt , stress, and anxiety as you try to honor your relationship while respecting your family’s perspective. You might feel hurt because it seems as though they don’t trust you or your judgment even though you are a full-fledged adult, and clearly, they’re incapable of being happy for you even though you’re always happy for them. All of it feels grossly unfair, and it can impact your mental and emotional well-being.

Beyond the impact on you and your partner, this situation may create significant rifts within your family system, especially when multiple members are sitting on opposite sides of the fence. Relationships that were once harmonious may become strained, and family gatherings may turn into tense or uncomfortable situations. This division can lead to long-term consequences, potentially alienating you from your family or creating an environment of constant conflict.

It goes without saying that the strain of family disapproval can put tremendous pressure on your relationship. Increased tension and conflict may arise as you and your partner try to independently navigate the emotional challenges created by this situation. Your partner may resent you if they perceive your loyalty is to your family; you may subconsciously resent your partner for putting you in this situation in the first place. Trust and communication are then at risk if issues are not openly addressed.

The hardest and the most important thing to do in these situations is to relinquish whatever expectations you had for your family. Holding on to the idea that you can obligate your family to embrace your partner will keep you in a state of frustration, despair, and hopelessness, because you simply cannot force what is not meant to be forced. Setting ultimatums, refusing to interact with them, and approaching this situation with anger and resentment are all tactics available to you, however, rarely do they result in a positive outcome for all.

As hard as it is, remind yourself that their stance has everything to do with their own personal journey, over which you have zero agency. Trying to convince them to love who you love is a futile exercise because people arrive at love in their own way, at their own pace and on their own terms. The sooner you release the notion that there’s something you can do to move them along, the sooner you will feel less stressed and upset.

However, you can let go of expectations, have an understanding of their perspective, and yet still set clear, healthy boundaries . Setting your own internal boundaries is crucial; delineate what’s most important to you and to what degree you will allow your family’s opinions/beliefs to take up space in your sacred territory. What’s important to remember is that whatever power they have over your emotional territory is power you relinquished in the first place; you can take it back.

Making a Decision For Your Relationship

In some cases, the impact of your family's disapproval may be so severe that it leads you to reevaluate your relationship, and that's to be expected. Consider whether the relationship is serving your highest good and whether both you and your partner are willing to support each other through these trials. The decision to stay or part ways should be made with mutual respect and a focus on personal growth for the both of you.

If you choose to stay together, it’s crucial to focus on strengthening your relationship, in addition to helping each other independently foster growth and healing. Constantly discussing the conflict and the division will keep you both in a state of anger and frustration, and this helps nobody in the long run, least of all you. Anger is a barrier to clarity; in anger, you will not be able to focus on your vision for the future.

Work together to create traditions and practices that remind you of your hopes for the future and keep the flow of communication open and honest. Building a united front as a couple will help you weather the storms that are likely to come your way, because life is never smooth sailing 100% of the time.

Although it’s important to approach this challenge as a team, it is equally important to give each other space when necessary and respect that growth is unique to each person. Finding peace within yourselves is a crucial step to finding peace within your relationship.

Lastly, remember that love is a powerful force, and that with open hearts and open minds, you can honor the truth, support each other’s spiritual growth, and cultivate a love that transcends external obstacles.

Yvonne Castañeda, MSW, LICSW, is an Adjunct Professor at the Boston College School of Social Work and the author of the memoir Pork Belly Tacos with a Side of Anxiety.

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