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Funny Graduation Speech Quotes That’ll Leave an Impression

Let’s face it, graduation speeches can be a bit of a bore. We’ve all heard them before and they often don’t leave much of an impact. But what if you could inject some humor into your commencement address? Give your audience a little something to chuckle at – or maybe even inspire them with wise words and clever quips?

Well that’s exactly what we have in store for you today! Below, we share some of the most famous funny graduation speech quotes that will surely give your audience something to talk about.

8th Grade Graduation Speech Examples

We’ll give give some pointers on how to write a great graduation speech as well as provide four sample graduation speeches to inspire your own at the end of this article.

Famous Funny Graduation Quotes

“You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake… You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.” – Fight Club

“Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” – Bill Gates

“Live each day like it’s your last, and one day you’ll be right.” – Steve Jobs

“It takes 20 years to be an overnight sensation.” – Eddie Cantor

funny graduation quotes and speech examples

Lesser Known Funny Graduation Speech Quotes

“Studying is like charging your phone; Small charges everyday keep dropping out of college away!” – Anonymous

“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it” – Maya Angelou

Writing Your Own Funny Graduation Speech

To write an effective funny graduation speech there are a few key things to keep in mind:

  • Incorporate humor without taking away from the sentimentality – A good way to do this is by using irony, sarcasm, or medical puns.
  • Keep jokes lighthearted and appropriate – Avoid anything that could be considered offensive, disrespectful, or mean-spirited.
  • Include messages of inspiration – This should come naturally since you are addressing graduating students who need motivation and guidance!

Sample Graduation Speeches With Funny Quotes

Here are four sample graduation speeches that combine funny quotes with sentimental messages:

Sample graduation speech 1: Take Pride In Your Failures

Good morning/afternoon everyone! Congratulations on this momentous achievement! Now I know I may sound counterintuitive but hear me out…

Failure has just as much value as success – if not more so!

We learn our best lessons when we fail because it helps us understand how far we have come and appreciate our successes even more. As Wayne Gretzky famously said: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

It takes courage to try something new and fail but only through trying can we grow stronger together! Thus I implore each one of you to be fearless in pursuit of progress in whatever form comes knocking on your door.

So go ahead, take pride in every mistake made because without failure there cannot be success!

Sample graduation speech 2: Dream Big, Act Bold

Good morning everyone! It is an honor to be here today and congratulate each of you on this major milestone.

We are all here for a reason and that is to dream big, act bold, and never give up. As the great Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” So I urge each one of you to have faith in yourselves and your dreams – no matter how impossible they may seem right now.

Remember that nothing can stand in the way of true ambition; not even failure because it only serves as fuel for success. So go out there and make your mark! Congratulations again and good luck in all your future endeavors!

Sample graduation speech 3: Laugh Loud, Love Deeply

Good morning/afternoon everyone! It is my pleasure to stand here today and congratulate each of you on this incredible achievement.

Graduating isn’t just about what you learn but also the people who help shape our lives. As Albert Einstein famously said “Life is like riding a bicycle; to keep your balance, you must keep moving.” So let us take a moment to thank those who have been there for us from the start – our friends and family members – for without them, we would not be where we are today.

Laugh loud, love deeply, stay humble, and never forget to enjoy the journey. Congratulations again and best wishes for all your future endeavors!

Best of luck!

Sample Graduation Speech 4: Reach For The Stars

Good morning everyone! I am honored to be here today and congratulate all of you on this incredible accomplishment.

Today marks the start of a new journey in your lives – one that has no limits or boundaries. As Walt Disney said, “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” So don’t let the fear of failure stop you from reaching for the stars.

To quote Michael Jordan, “I can accept failure but I can’t accept not trying”. And I challenge each one of you to do the same. Believe in yourself, take calculated risks, never settle for mediocrity, and never forget to stay true to your values.

Reach for the stars and never look back! Congratulations again and all the best in all your future endeavors! Best of luck!

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  • Top 10 Speeches
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Funny Graduation Speeches

There is nothing like a hilarious commencement speech. It might seem easy to pull off since, after all, graduation is one big party celebration. However, when you tally them, in the past ten years, there are really only a few funny graduation speeches. Here below is the list of some of the funniest commencement addresses I know of. Sit back, relax, and enjoy!


Actress
Tulane University, 2009

Actor
Merrimack College, 2014

Mounty Pyton Actor and Comedian
Whitman College, 2013

Writer, comedian and TV host
Northwestern University, 2011

Musician and Comedian
University of Western Australia, 2013

Comedian, Author, TV host
University of Virginia, 2013

Actor
Oregon Episcopal High School, 2011

Actress
Harvard College Class Day Address, 2011

Actress, Phoebe in the TV sitcom Friends
Vassar College,2010

Comedian
The College of William & Marry, 2004

Film and Television Actor (NBC’s West Wing)
University of Wisconsin, 2004

Comedian
Harvard Law School Class Day, 2014

Actor
Cornell University, 2014

Comedian
Emerson College, 2014

Actress
Smith College, 2012

Radio Host of the Show “This American Life”
Goucher College, 2012

Undergraduate Student, Bachelors Degree Candidate in Political Science
Binghamton University, 2009

Comedian
Thurgood Marshall College of UCSD, 2013

Comedian
Tufts University, 2016

funny end of graduation speech

Top Funny Graduation Speeches to Brighten Up Your Day

funny graduation speeches

Graduating from school is, for me, much anticipated. I am telling you sincerely, things will never be the same again. The transition can be thrilling and daunting at the same time. Who ever said graduation speeches must be plain and dull?

Injecting humor into speeches is a great way to lighten the mood and make the occasion even more memorable. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

In this article, I will share some of the funniest graduation speeches that will tickle your funny bone. Whether you are a graduate, family member, or attendee, these hilarious commencement addresses are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

Table of Contents

Key Takeaways:

  • Funny graduation speeches can bring laughter and joy to an otherwise serious occasion.
  • Injecting humor into speeches is a great way to lighten the mood and make the occasion even more memorable.
  • Laughter is the best medicine, and funny graduation speeches will tickle your funny bone.

The Power of Humor in Graduation Speeches

I have been to many graduation ceremonies in my capacity as a reporter and professional copywriter. Most of these are usually filled with serious speeches that aim at encouraging and motivating a graduating class. However, I have realized that the most memorable and engaging are always the ones delivered with humor.

A humorous graduation speech can do much more than entertain; it can transform an otherwise dull event into something spectacular. It may also help to create an atmosphere where graduates and attendees feel more relaxed and united.

The Influence of Humor

Humour has been known to reduce stress, improve mood, foster social bonding among other benefits according to research. When used in commencement addresses, humor assists in gripping the audience’s attention thereby making the speech easily memorable.

One of the famous funny graduation speeches was by Steve Jobs at Stanford University back in 2005 when he addressed graduating students. The address interspersed his personal anecdotes with a number of jokes leading to entertainment while getting inspired as well.

“The best tool I’ve ever come across to help me make really big choices in life is remembering that someday I’ll be dead.”

Writing a Speech Comedy

When you’re chosen to give a graduation speech, you should think about including some comedy into your material. Creating comedic speeches requires striking a balance between sincerity and humor. You want your audience members laughing but still walk away from your talk with something meaningful.

To start off brainstorm funny graduation speech ideas. Pulling from your own experiences as well as pop culture or even recent happenings can be helpful when coming up with this speech. Employ comedy to narrate a story that relates to the graduate students specifically as well as the occasion then ensure that you practice saying it out loud so that you get the timing right on all your jokes.

Examples of Comedic Graduation Speeches

Stand-up comedians, politicians, and movie stars have provided great comic relief for graduating classes; Will Ferrell’s 2017 address at the University of Southern California is one such example. The entire speech was filled with hilarious jokes and comments.

“When I die, I want to be buried in a huge shoebox just like all my other valuable possessions.”

Ellen DeGeneres’ speech to the graduating class of 2009 at Tulane University was also very successful as her humor and quick wit were evident.

“I learned many things while I was in college but the most important thing was if you don’t wear underwear, you’ll ruin your pants.”

Additionally, studying some of the greatest comedians’ addresses made at graduation ceremonies allows you to learn from these masters and incorporate similar techniques into your own speech.

Humorous Graduation Speech Ideas

Do you have an upcoming graduation speech that needs some laughter? Well look no further! Here are some funny graduation speeches that will crack up any audience:

  • Start with a joke: Beginning your speech with a lighthearted joke can instantly grab your audience’s attention and set the tone for a funny speech.
  • Incorporate pop culture references: Whether it’s referencing a popular TV show or a viral meme, incorporating current pop culture references in your speech can add a comedic touch.
  • Share a funny personal story: Everyone loves a good laugh, and sharing a funny personal story can make your speech relatable and entertaining.
  • Use witty one-liners: One-liners are a great way to sprinkle quick laughs throughout your speech and keep your audience engaged.
  • Poke fun at yourself: Making fun of yourself in a self-deprecating way can endear you to your audience and make them laugh.

Remember, the key to delivering a funny graduation speech is to keep it light-hearted and entertaining while still delivering a meaningful message.

“I didn’t graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate.” – Lou Holtz

Use these ideas to craft a hilarious graduation speech that will make your audience laugh and leave a lasting impression.

Examples of Funny Graduation Speeches

Looking for inspiration on how to deliver a humorous graduation speech? Look no further than these hilarious examples from some of the most notable speakers in recent years.

SpeakerGraduation YearSummaryHumorous Quote or Anecdote
Conan O’Brien2011O’Brien’s speech at Dartmouth College poked fun at his own career setbacks and urged graduates to embrace failure as a crucial step toward success.“It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention.”
Mindy Kaling2018Kaling’s speech at Dartmouth College was a witty and self-deprecating take on life after graduation, with advice on everything from sibling rivalries to workplace sexism.“I want to be a cheerleader for other peoples’ lives. But for now, I am finding it tricky.”
Ellen DeGeneres2009DeGeneres’ speech at Tulane University included an anecdote about her experience working at a law firm before finding success in comedy, and urged graduates to follow their passions.“The most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and not to give into peer pressure to try to be something that you’re not.”
Will Ferrell2017Ferrell’s speech at USC was a hilarious take on the challenges of modern-day parenting, with advice on everything from when to introduce kids to technology to how to handle picky eaters.“You’re never not afraid. I’m still afraid. I was afraid to write this speech. And now, I’m just realizing how many people are watching me right now, and it’s scary.”

These speeches prove that a little humor can go a long way in making graduation day a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

How to Deliver a Funny Graduation Speech

Delivering a humorous graduation speech can be a daunting task, but with the right approach, it can be a memorable and entertaining experience for graduates and attendees. Here are some tips to ensure your speech is a hit:

  • Timing is everything. Make sure your jokes are well-timed and don’t drag on. Keep them short and sweet, and don’t let them overshadow the main message of your speech.
  • Engage with your audience. Don’t just deliver your speech robotically; interact with your audience, make eye contact, and use body language to emphasize your points. This will help to keep the audience engaged and entertained.
  • Use personal anecdotes and experiences. Incorporating personal stories into your speech can add a touch of humor and relatability. Just make sure they are appropriate and don’t offend anyone.
  • Mix in some quotes. Including funny quotes from famous people or popular movies can add some humor to your speech and show that you are well-read and witty.
  • Practice, practice, practice. Rehearsing your speech beforehand will help you to refine your delivery and make sure you don’t stumble over your words. Plus, the more comfortable you are with your material, the more confident you’ll be on the day.

With these tips in mind, you’ll be able to deliver a humorous graduation speech that will have your audience in stitches. And remember, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy the moment!

The Impact of Laughter on Graduation Day

As an advertising reporter who has attended countless graduation ceremonies and addresses, I am confident in saying that hilarious commencement speeches can revolutionize the entire occasion. The value of humor on graduation day cannot be overemphasized

One way of helping with this is through entertaining graduation speeches. This could serve as a means to relieve tension and break the ice hence making all the attendants comfortable. Funny speeches if done right also bring about a sense of unity among graduates and their families thus making it more enjoyable for everyone.

However, the benefits of laughter in graduation speeches are far-reaching because it makes people happy. According to research, laughter reduces stress, boosts immunity, and releases happy hormones known as endorphins that make an individual feel good. In summary, laughing out loud can do miracles for our mental wellness and physical fitness.

Therefore, if you’re either graduating or attending such a ceremony with funny commencement addresses then humor is key during graduations. It might just make your occasion memorable!

Being a professional copywriting journalist I know how important it is to have fun when giving your speech at a graduation ceremony and make it worth remembering by adding some jokes in there too. A funny graduation speech may add laughter and joy to what would otherwise be treated seriously; thus creating a light-hearted mood that can ensure better experience for each participant.

During the course of this article we have looked at how powerful comedy can be during such events where one needs to create an interesting atmosphere for his/her audience using different methods hence enabling others to hold onto their seats up until he/she finishes speaking before clapping again; there were also numerous suggestions given concerning various aspects like delivery style or content development among others related things…

We have also provided several examples, including those delivered by prominent speakers, before offering advice on how best to deliver even such kind of talk involving puns meant kids’ lives.

Accordingly when faced with delivering a graduating speech tell a joke as part of your remarks. You may end up producing a moment that will be remembered forever.

Remember, when it comes to humorous graduation speeches, the goal is not just to make people laugh but also to leave a lasting impression. The funniest speeches at commencements are the ones that combine humor with insight and inspiration. Then go ahead and write your own funny commencement speech that will ever remain in the annals of history as one of the best funny graduation speeches ever delivered.

Q: How can funny graduation speeches make the occasion more enjoyable?

A: Funny graduation speeches have the power to bring laughter and joy to a typically serious event. They can lighten the atmosphere and create a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Q: How can humor engage the audience during a graduation speech?

A: Humor in graduation speeches can captivate the audience by grabbing their attention and keeping them engaged. It can make the speech more relatable and entertaining, ensuring that the audience remains attentive and interested.

Q: What are some ideas for crafting a funny graduation speech?

A: To create a funny graduation speech, you can incorporate humor through storytelling, personal anecdotes, and clever wordplay. This will entertain and captivate the audience, leaving a lasting impression on everyone present.

Q: Can you provide examples of funny graduation speeches?

A: Sure! Some examples of funny graduation speeches include Conan O’Brien’s commencement address at Dartmouth College, Ellen DeGeneres’ speech at Tulane University, and Stephen Colbert’s speech at Northwestern University. These speeches are full of humorous quotes and anecdotes that showcase the power of humor in graduation speeches.

Q: What tips can you offer for delivering a funny graduation speech?

A: When delivering a funny graduation speech, timing and delivery are key. Practice your speech to ensure you hit the comedic moments just right. Additionally, engage with the audience, use gestures and facial expressions to enhance your humor, and incorporate funny quotes or one-liners to keep the crowd entertained.

Q: How does laughter impact graduation day?

A: Laughter has a positive impact on graduation day by alleviating stress, creating a lighthearted atmosphere, and fostering a sense of camaraderie among graduates and attendees. Funny graduation speeches contribute to this atmosphere, making the day more enjoyable and memorable for everyone.

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21 Best Graduation Speeches That Everyone Should Hear

Read life advice from Ree Drummond, Bill Gates, Oprah, and more!

preview for Best Commencement Advice for New Graduates

Included in this list is the Pioneer Woman herself—Ree Drummond has witnessed her fair share of milestones with the Drummond kids and to top it off, she delivered an iconic keynote address at Oklahoma State University . Of course, who could forget Oprah Winfrey's speech to the class of 2020? In this heartfelt and emotional address, Winfrey encourages graduates to find their purpose in life and make a difference in the world. Those two are just a taste of what's to come. So, turn on the graduation songs , grab your tissues, and get ready for some solid life advice. Whether you're a recent graduate or just in need of a little pick-me-up, these speeches are sure to leave you feeling inspired and ready to take on whatever life throws your way.

Bill Gates: Northern Arizona University, 2023

Despite famously dropping out of Harvard after two years of study, Bill Gates shared a few pieces of advice he says he could have used at his hypothetical graduation. The Microsoft founder emphasized the importance of being open to career changes and learning to take a break.

"You are not a slacker if you cut yourself some slack. When I was your age, I didn’t believe in vacations. I didn’t believe in weekends. I pushed everyone around me to work very long hours. In the early days of Microsoft, my office overlooked the parking lot—and I would keep track of who was leaving early and staying late. But as I got older—and especially once I became a father—I realized there is more to life than work. Don’t wait as long as I did to learn this lesson. Take time to nurture your relationships, to celebrate your successes, and to recover from your losses."

Ree Drummond: Oklahoma State University, 2022

Ree hardly needs an introduction, but she knows a thing or two about life as a published author, Food Network host, and most importantly, mother of five.

"Buckle up, you have good times and rough seas ahead. It is just part of life, but enjoy the ride and laugh a lot... Life is about to unfold for you in all its forms. Love, heartache, accomplishments, disappointment, testing of faith... life is beautiful, so I repeat, buckle up and laugh along the way. It makes life fun."

Hamdi Ulukaya: Northeastern University, 2022

You may not know his name, but you might just love Chobani, the hugely successful yogurt brand Hamdi started. He reminded graduates why we are here on earth.

"As we started to grow, we hired everyone that we could. I realized an hour away there was a community of refugees who were having a hard time finding jobs. I said, 'Let's hire them.' I promise you that there is nothing more rewarding than showing up in the world for other people, no matter how hard it may be."

Dr. Marie Lynn Miranda: University of Notre Dame, 2021

As obvious as it sounds, you don't know what you don't know. That's the lesson from this acclaimed Notre Dame professor and environmental researcher.

"As much as I want to highlight the importance of the expertise you have developed, I also want to make the point that you will face situations in the years ahead where you will have no relevant expertise; you will have no evidence base to rely upon; your intellect will not be able to supply a needed answer. In those situations, I would like to suggest that you respond with love."

Oprah Winfrey: Class of 2020 Virtual Speech

graduation speeches oprah winfrey

Oprah had one of the hardest commencement speeches to give: it was for the class that graduated during the pandemic. She found a profound lesson in the chaos of those early months.

"Look who turns out to be essential! Teachers—your teachers!—healthcare workers of course, the people stocking grocery shelves, the cashiers, those who are caring for your grandparents, those who clean the places where we work and shop and carry out our daily lives. We are all here because they, at great and profound risk, are still providing their essential service. What will your essential service be? What really matters to you? How will you use what matters in service to yourself, your community, and the world?"

Tim Cook: Tulane University, 2019

graduation speeches tim cook

Tim Cook took a similar approach to his late co-worker Steve Jobs when it came to the theme of his graduation speech.

"There's a saying that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. At Apple, I learned that's a total crock. You'll work harder than you ever thought possible, but the tools will feel light in your hands. As you go out into the world, don't waste time on problems that have been solved... Look for the rough spots, the problems that seem too big, the complexities that other people are content to work around. It's in those places that you will find your purpose. It's there that you can make your greatest contribution."

Ken Burns: Stanford University, 2016

graduation speeches ken burns

In his 2016 Stanford speech, America's most famous documentary filmmaker asked listeners not to forget the lessons found in our history.

"Be for something. Be curious, not cool. Feed your soul, too. Every day. Remember, insecurity makes liars of us all. Don't confuse success with excellence. Educate all of your parts. You will be healthier. Seek out—and have—mentors. Listen to them. Bite off more than you can chew. Do not get stuck in one place. Visit our national parks. Their sheer majesty may remind you of your own 'atomic insignificance,' as one observer noted, but in the inscrutable ways of nature, you will feel larger, inspirited, just as the egotist in our midst is diminished by his or her self-regard. Insist on heroes. And be one."

Sheryl Sandberg: UC Berkeley, 2016

The former COO of Facebook offered graduates a realistic look at the life ahead and how to move through the hard times. "Some of you have already experienced the kind of tragedy and hardship that leave an indelible mark. The question is not if some of these things will happen to you. They will. Today I want to talk about what happens next. The easy days ahead of you will be easy. It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are. You will be defined not just by what you achieve but by how you survive."

Admiral William H. McRaven: University of Texas at Austin, 2014

During Admiral McRaven's speech at his alma mater, he looked to the lessons he learned serving his country. One of which was so simple, yet profoundly impactful.

"If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter... And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better."

George Saunders: Syracuse University, 2013

Bestselling author and professor George Saunders offered grads a guiding principle to move through life with, no matter what they pursue.

"Travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop)—but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality—your soul, if you will—is as bright and shining as any that has ever been."

Kerry Washington: George Washington University, 2013

graduation speeches kerry washington

Actress Kerry Washington told graduates to think of this achievement during the difficult or uncomfortable parts of life.

"The lesson is that you're here because you too learned how to answer the call. You don't earn a degree by doing and being and existing in the comfort zone of what you already know. Look back on the journey that brought you here. What moments challenged you most? When were you asked to step outside of your familiar territory in order to rise to the occasion of your potential? I want you to remember those moments, because they will embolden you."

Neil Gaiman: University of the Arts, 2012

Neil wasn't always an acclaimed author of fiction, comic books, graphic novels, nonfiction, and films. His speech may have been given to a group of young artists, but the advice applies to anyone starting out in a turbulent career.

"People who know what they are doing know the rules, and they know what is possible and what is impossible. You do not. And you should not. The rules on what is possible and impossible in the arts were made by people who had not tested the bounds of the possible by going beyond them. And you can. If you don't know it's impossible, it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that particular thing again."

Aaron Sorkin: Syracuse University, 2012

graduation speeches aaron sorkin

Aaron has carved an incredible career writing plays, movies, and television shows, but success clearly hasn't impacted his sense of humility.

"Decisions are made by those who show up. Don't ever forget that you're a citizen of this world. Don't ever forget that you're a citizen of this world, and there are things you can do to lift the human spirit, things that are easy, things that are free, things that you can do every day: civility, respect, kindness, character."

Atul Gawande: Williams College, 2012

Being a surgeon means you have to think on your feet when things go wrong, and for Dr. Gawande, that holds an immense life lesson.

"A failure often does not have to be a failure at all. However, you have to be ready for it. Will you admit when things go wrong? Will you take steps to set them right? Because the difference between triumph and defeat, you'll find, isn't about willingness to take risks. It's about mastery of rescue."

Conan O'Brien: Dartmouth College, 2011

This famous late-night host delivered a hilarious graduation speech riddled with stories, each with their own lesson.

"David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson and was not, and as a result, my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman. And none of us are—my peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways. But the point is this: It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can be a catalyst for profound re-invention."

Steve Jobs: Stanford University, 2005

graduation speeches steve jobs

The entrepreneur, inventor, and pioneer of the personal computer revolution had his fair share of ups and downs in life. But one of the things that made him so persistent was his love of technology.

"You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."

Toni Morrison: Wellesley College, 2004

graduation speeches toni morrison

Toni Morrison disputed the usual platitude that youth is the best time of your life. Instead, she told students that there is nothing more satisfying or gratifying than the true adulthood which stretches out before them. "What is now known is not all that you are capable of knowing. You are your own stories and therefore free to imagine and experience what it means to be human without wealth. What it feels like to be human without domination over others, without reckless arrogance, without fear of others unlike you, without rotating, rehearsing and reinventing the hatreds you learned in the sandbox. And although you don't have complete control over the narrative (no author does, I can tell you), you could nevertheless create it."

Bill Gates: Harvard University, 2007

graduation speeches bill gates

Who wouldn't take the Microsoft founder's advice?

"In line with the promise of this age, I want to exhort each of the graduates here to take on an issue—a complex problem, a deep inequity, and become a specialist on it. If you make it the focus of your career, that would be phenomenal. But you don't have to do that to make an impact... don't let complexity stop you. Be activists. Take on big inequities. I feel sure it will be one of the great experiences of your lives."

Nora Ephron: Wellesley College, 1996

When Nora Ephron wasn't reporting, she was writing some of our most beloved romantic comedies. She reassured grads that they will always continue to change and grow.

"What are you going to do? Everything is my guess. It will be a little messy but embrace the mess. It will be complicated but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it's going to be like, but surprises are good for you. And don't be frightened. You can always change your mind. I know. I've had four careers and three husbands. And this is something else I want to tell you, one of the hundreds of things I didn't know when I was sitting here so many years ago: you are not going to be you, fixed and immutable you, forever."

Barbara Kingsolver: DePauw University, 1994

The sentiment of Barbara Kingsolver's speech resonates today just as much as it did in 1994.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and give you one little piece of advice and that is like the idea of a future. Believe you have it in you to make the world look better rather than worse seven generations from now. Figure out what that could look like. And then if you're lucky, you'll find a way to live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides."

Headshot of Micaela Bahn

Micaela Bahn is a freelance editorial assistant and recent graduate from Carleton College, where she majored in English literature. She loves running, photography, and cooking the best new recipes.

Nitya Rao is the editorial assistant at The Pioneer Woman, covering stories ranging from food, fashion, beauty, lifestyle, news, and more.

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How to Add Humor to a Graduation Speech

Last Updated: March 11, 2024

This article was co-authored by Patrick Muñoz . Patrick is an internationally recognized Voice & Speech Coach, focusing on public speaking, vocal power, accent and dialects, accent reduction, voiceover, acting and speech therapy. He has worked with clients such as Penelope Cruz, Eva Longoria, and Roselyn Sanchez. He was voted LA's Favorite Voice and Dialect Coach by BACKSTAGE, is the voice and speech coach for Disney and Turner Classic Movies, and is a member of Voice and Speech Trainers Association. This article has been viewed 104,854 times.

Boring graduation speeches are an impending tragedy. If you've been tasked with giving one, you can learn to inject a little humor into the proceedings. Learn to pick appropriate jokes that will have your audience in stitches. Learn to nail the tone and deliver your speech to emphasize the humor, as well as the heart.

Picking Appropriate Jokes

Step 1 Use funny inspirational quotes to get you started.

  • Will Rogers: "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
  • Ben Franklin: "You will find the key to success under the alarm clock."
  • Bill Watterson: "What's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it."
  • Ray Magliozzi: "You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today."

Step 2 Make a funny reference, but take it seriously.

  • Pick a pearl from a favorite rap song: "As the venerable Lil Wayne taught us, 'Real G's move in silence, like lasagna.' And that's what I want to talk to you about today. No, not the questionable Italian casseroles lovingly served by the lunch ladies at our school, but moving forward. In silence. Like the real G's that Jefferson High School has made us."
  • Reference some "low" culture: "Wondering these halls, we were like so many Mario Brothers in the sewers of our lives. Getting lost and finding our way. Reaching for stars. Thinking we were sparkling and invincible. Trampling strange mushrooms. Smashing turtles with hammers. Doing battles with princess-stealing dragon creatures who live in fiery realms. Well...we did some of that."

Step 3 Tell a story specific to your school.

  • If you're giving a speech because you're an exceptional student or an administrator, it could get a good opportunity to self-deprecate. Tell a story about a time you failed spectacularly.
  • Try to think of something everyone will be able to recognize. If your school has been under construction all year, make jokes about "building the future one closed hallway at a time."
  • Avoid telling "inside" jokes unless you're going to explain them. If something is funny to you and your swim-team friends, but nobody else knows what it means, it's not good for a graduation speech. Remember who your audience is.

Step 4 Poke fun at the

  • Attack the "hard-work" cliché: "Lots of people will tell you that success comes with hard work. And that the only way to climb that ladder of success is by keeping your hands out of your pockets. But it isn't true. Some people are just lucky. And that's what I want to talk about today..."
  • Pick on the "I see the future innovators of the world" cliché: "I look out at you, my fellow graduates, and you know what I see? I see a future of loan debt. I see the students who will break their thumbs on the Xbox of life. The kids who will back-up the emergency rooms of the world, on Halloween, when the partying was too intense. Who will have 14 grandmothers die during finals week. And who will take control of their lives."
  • It helps to not take yourself too seriously when you're adding humor to a more serious speech.

Step 5 Start with a lame joke, then unpack it.

  • Pick a common joke that you like and tell it. Knock-knock jokes, chicken crossing the road jokes, talking dog jokes, jokes about moths visiting podiatrists. You can use any joke if you put the work into it.
  • "My dad used to love to tell a joke. It goes like this: A guy and a skeleton walk into a bar. The guy orders two beers and a mop. I think there are two kinds of people in this world. Skeletons, and the people who mop up after them when they drink too much."

Finding the Right Tone

Step 1 Think about your audience.

  • You probably won't make everyone laugh, even if your joke is great. Don't worry about broadcasting to everybody in the audience, but try to keep it clean for as many people as possible. Remember they are there.

Step 2 Find out where you are in the line-up.

  • It's probably not necessary to name specific people at all in your speech. Even if you think they might laugh to be called out for something in the graduation speech, you never know who'll take offense. Don't tease anyone but yourself.

Step 4 Connect the humor to something heart-felt.

  • Sometimes, it can be hard to think of a joke to go along with a specific theme, and it's a lot easier to find a specific theme from a joke you want to tell.

Step 5 Watch some funny speeches for advice.

  • Stephen Colbert at University of Virginia
  • Neil Degrasse Tyson at Mount Holyoke College
  • Evan Biberdorf's High School Graduation Speech
  • Lance Jabr's High School Musical
  • Conan O'Brien's Harvard Commencement

Delivering Your Funny Speech

Step 1 Start by thanking everyone and testing the waters.

  • Lead in a general way, thanking everyone who has already spoken and brought you up to the stage. Even if your speech involves voices and costumes, don't forget the standard "thank you" stuff.
  • It's hard to guess the mood of a particular audience. Some might be rowdy and ready to laugh, others might be kind of somber, or bored. Start normally and find the right tone for the day.

Step 2 Have a back-up plan if necessary.

  • You can always avoid emphasizing the jokes with your voice. Just read it as straight as possible, instead of pausing dramatically for emphasis and waiting for the laughter to die down.
  • Mark all your jokes with one color, or with an underline, and then let all the straight stuff stay in regular font and text. If you need to, you can quickly see the jokes you can skip over. Just focus on the content.
  • It helps to really live in the moment when you're giving a speech. Pay attention to how your audience responds and react to what you're getting from the them.

Step 3 Expect people to laugh in unexpected places.

  • If you're going to belt a Sinatra song dramatically, you've got to stay serious so people will laugh. If you're going to give a fake-academic talk, stay in professor mode all the way through.
  • Don't laugh at your own jokes. Practice saying them so you won't be giving away your own punchlines.

Step 5 Slow down.

  • Slow down the speed that you're reading your words, as well as your pauses in between sentences. Give each sentence a full stop.
  • If people are laughing, just stop talking for minute. Don't try to talk over the laughter.

Step 6 Enunciate your words.

  • Practice your speech several times. Have it nearly memorized, without actually memorizing it. Nothing stops a joke dead in the water like bad timing.

Step 7 Don't "just" be funny.

  • End on some positive note. People like to be moved at a graduation, as well.

Expert Q&A

Patrick Muñoz

  • Think of a funny story that happened while you were in school, and add it to the speech. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Find a joke or two that relates to you, your classmates or your school. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Run jokes with friends. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

funny end of graduation speech

  • Don't insult any teachers or administration with your jokes. Thanks Helpful 8 Not Helpful 1

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Start a Graduation Speech

Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about giving a graduation speech, check out our in-depth interview with Patrick Muñoz .

  • ↑ http://www.graduationwisdom.com/quotes/funny-graduation-quotes-for-high-school-graduation-and-invitations.htm
  • ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI
  • ↑ http://campusgrotto.com/funny-graduation-speeches.html

About This Article

Patrick Muñoz

To spice up your graduation speech with some humor, try using a funny but inspirational quote. For example, you could use Robert Orben’s famous line, “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.” Or make a funny reference, but treat it seriously, like referencing the Mario Brothers as a point of reaching for the stars. Keep your audience in mind while you’re coming up with the humor in your speech. You probably won’t be able to make everyone laugh, but if your fellow classmates are your target audience, you can use jokes and references that they’ll think are funny. For tips on how to connect the humor to something heartfelt, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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funny end of graduation speech

How to Write and Deliver a Memorable Graduation Speech: Tips, Examples, and Techniques

  • The Speaker Lab
  • March 7, 2024

Table of Contents

The goal of any graduation speech is to find words that capture the essence of years spent learning and growing. Today, we’ll guide you through that process and help you craft a memorable graduation speech . You’ll learn to weave gratitude with shared experiences, and balance humor with wisdom. We’ll even help you find quotes that strike a chord and deliver them in a way that resonates.

But that’s not all! Dive into proven strategies for public speaking, managing stage fright, and drawing inspiration from iconic commencement speeches. Discover how personal growth stories add depth to your message and explore themes that leave a lasting impact on your peers as they step forward into new beginnings.

Crafting Your Graduation Speech: A Step-by-Step Guide

When it comes to marking the end of your high school or university journey, a graduation speech can capture the essence of this pivotal moment. But how do you start such an important address?

Opening with Impact

The first words of your graduation speech are crucial. They set the stage for what’s to come and grab your audience’s attention. Think about starting strong by sharing a personal anecdote that ties into the broader experience of your class or drawing from Steve Jobs’ Stanford University commencement speech , where he began with, “Today I want to tell you three stories from my life.” This technique instantly piques interest because it promises narratives that have shaped who you are.

An impactful opening also acknowledges shared experiences. Perhaps you could reflect on how moments in classrooms turned strangers into lifelong friends. Or for university commencements, consider touching upon those late-night study sessions that tested perseverance but ultimately led to academic achievements worth celebrating today.

Building the Body of Your Graduation Speech

In crafting the body content, intertwine lessons learned throughout high school years or during university courses with aspirations for what lies ahead. For instance, share how overcoming obstacles like balancing extracurricular activities and academics taught valuable time management skills.

To add depth, incorporate quotes from luminaries like Oprah Winfrey or draw parallels between classroom learnings and real-world applications. Dive deeper by discussing milestones achieved together as a graduating class and recognizing the hard work everyone put in to make it to this monumental occasion.

Concluding with Inspiration

Your conclusion should leave fellow graduates feeling inspired while helping them celebrate high school memories one last time—or honor those unforgettable college years if addressing higher education grads.

Closing remarks could include heartfelt gratitude towards teachers’ support and parental guidance. You might even crack a joke or two. It’s these personalized touches paired with universal truths that resonate most deeply as students step forward into new chapters post-graduation.

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Delivery Techniques for Confident Speaking

Standing in front of a crowd can turn even the most composed student into a bundle of nerves. But fear not, with some smart strategies, you’ll be able to channel your inner orator and deliver your graduation speech with confidence.

Practicing Your Graduation Speech

Becoming familiar with every word of your speech is key. Rehearse it out loud until the words feel like second nature. This practice does more than just help you remember what comes next; it lets you find the natural rhythm and pace of your delivery. Consider recording yourself to catch any quirks or stumbling blocks—you might be surprised at how much this helps refine your presentation.

A trick often overlooked is practicing in different environments. If possible, stand on the actual stage where you will deliver your commencement address. Familiarity breeds comfort, making that once daunting podium seem like an old friend when graduation day arrives.

Overcoming Nervousness and Stage Fright

Nervousness is normal but doesn’t let it dictate your performance. Before stepping up to speak, take deep breaths to steady yourself—a calm body encourages a calm mind. An effective method for easing anxiety is visualization. Imagine delivering each line perfectly and receiving an enthusiastic response from listeners—envisioning success can make it so.

Maintaining Eye Contact

The power of eye contact cannot be overstated. It connects speaker and listener on a personal level that amplifies engagement significantly. Scan across different sections of the audience periodically without lingering too long on any one individual.

Incorporate these techniques diligently when preparing for the big day. In doing so, they become part of muscle memory and help build confidence. With confidence and plenty of practice on your side, your graduation speech is sure to conclude to applause leaving you to celebrate yet another milestone achieved.

Analyzing Renowned Graduation Speeches for Inspiration

When crafting a commencement speech , it’s often helpful to look at the giants whose words have echoed through auditoriums and across campuses. Steve Jobs’ Stanford University Commencement Speech is a classic example of weaving life lessons into an address that connects deeply with graduates. Similarly, Oprah Winfrey’s Harvard University Commencement Address showed how stumbling blocks can become stepping stones if we learn from them.

Steve Jobs’ Storytelling Mastery

Jobs had a knack for turning personal anecdotes into universal truths. In his Stanford address, he shared three stories from his own life without sounding self-indulgent. These stories worked because each one carried a broader message relevant to every graduate: finding what you love, dealing with loss, and facing death head-on. Jobs famously urged students to “stay hungry, stay foolish,” encouraging them not just to pursue success but remain curious about life despite challenges. This advice is especially poignant for today’s graduating class.

Like Jobs, you too can craft narratives around moments that speak volumes about perseverance and passion.

Oprah’s Unflinching Honesty

Much like her television persona suggests, Oprah did not shy away from discussing her setbacks in front of Harvard’s graduating class. Instead, she confidently laid bare the challenges faced by anyone who dares greatly because failure is part of achieving greatness. As she reminded students, “It doesn’t matter how far you might rise… At some point you are bound to stumble.”

In doing so she forged an instant connection with listeners grappling with their fears about what the future holds post-graduation. It was a powerful reminder that even icons like Oprah are not immune to trials but emerge stronger through them.

The power behind these speeches lies not just in their content but also in their delivery. These speakers mastered the art of speaking confidently before crowds, maintaining eye contact, and conveying authenticity—techniques any speaker should aspire to replicate on graduation day.

Themes and Messages That Resonate with Graduates

Facing a sea of caps and gowns, the right words can turn a graduation ceremony from mundane to memorable. When crafting your commencement speech, focusing on themes like overcoming obstacles and perseverance connects deeply with graduates who have hurdled high school or college challenges.

Overcoming Obstacles

Talking about stumbling blocks is not just relatable; it’s inspirational. Think Steve Jobs at Stanford University or Oprah Winfrey at Harvard—both shared personal tales of setbacks turned into comebacks. Beyond simply telling their stories, they showed how those hurdles were stepping stones to success.

Weave your narrative around the potholes you’ve navigated during your high school years. This doesn’t mean airing every bit of dirty laundry, just highlighting that one significant moment where everything seemed against you yet failed to defeat you.

The Power of Perseverance

Perseverance is more than sticking to something—it’s pushing forward when every fiber wants to quit. It resonates because everyone, including your fellow graduates, has felt that urge to give up but chose to persevere instead.

Incorporate this theme by using vivid examples that mirror collective experiences—the all-nighters before exams or balancing sports stars ambitions with academics—to illustrate perseverance isn’t just an idea but lived reality for many students.

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Life Lessons Shared During Graduation Speeches

In addition to sharing content that fellow graduates will find relatable and inspirational, you should also consider sharing life lessons with your audience. Whether young or old, everyone has a unique perspective on life and sharing your wisdom can steer graduates toward a fulfilling path.

The Power of Kindness

Making a positive impact doesn’t require grand gestures; sometimes it’s found in small acts of kindness or an innovative idea that simplifies lives. This message sticks because everyone wants their work to mean something—to know they’ve left footprints on society’s vast canvas.

True Grit and Tenacity

Embracing failure and resilience is another powerful theme echoed by commencement speakers across podiums. Let’s face it; not all endeavors lead straight to success. But as Oprah Winfrey once said during her Harvard University commencement address, “It doesn’t matter how far you might rise… At some point, you are bound to stumble.” Her words remind us: How we pick ourselves up matters more than how we fall.

Making a Positive Impact

A graduating class stands poised on tomorrow’s threshold ready to mold history—and speeches should fuel this transformative fire within them. Memorable graduation speeches show individuals that ovation-worthy achievements are possible if you believe your actions count.

As you prepare your graduation speech, consider including one of these life lessons or one of your own. Don’t be afraid to share your hard-won insights to your fellow graduates—you just might inspire them to make history.

Celebrating Achievements and Acknowledging Contributions

Graduation is not just a ceremony. It’s a tribute to the academic achievements and extracurricular activities that have shaped students into who they are. The acknowledgment of teacher support and parental guidance also plays a pivotal role in these speeches, as they’re the scaffolding upon which student successes are built.

Academic Achievements, Extracurricular Activities

Acknowledging academic prowess goes beyond GPA scores or honor societies; it’s about highlighting unique intellectual journeys. Similarly, shining a light on extracurricular triumphs—be it sports stars setting records or artists winning competitions—adds depth to your speech. Remembering these moments isn’t merely recounting victories but celebrating the relentless spirit of your fellow graduates.

Diving deeper into personal anecdotes helps you connect with peers by reminding them of their growth through challenges faced together—from late-night study sessions to championship games. It’s these stories that make graduation memories stick with classmates long after commencement ends.

Teacher Support, Parental Guidance

The unsung heroes behind every graduate deserve their moment in your address too. Teachers’ dedication can turn classrooms into launch pads for dreams, while parents’ unwavering belief often fuels aspirations during tumultuous times like the pandemic.

In weaving tales of mentorship from teachers or wisdom imparted by parents, you remind everyone that success is rarely a solo act—it’s supported by many hands and hearts along the way. Celebrate this collective effort because each person has contributed uniquely to shaping graduating classes across America, including yours.

Common Issues in Writing and Delivering Graduation Speeches

Staring at a blank page as the clock ticks down to graduation day can rattle even the most seasoned speech writers. Overcoming writer’s block is about finding your message stick—the core idea that you want to leave with your peers. Remember, this isn’t just any talk; it’s one that marks a significant transition for both you and your audience.

Overcoming Writer’s Block

Finding yourself stumped on how to write a speech ? Don’t sweat it. Start by jotting down memories from school years or powerful life lessons that resonate. Think of Steve Jobs’ Stanford University commencement speech where he shared personal stories, which became an inspirational backbone for many other speeches.

If inspiration doesn’t strike immediately, step away from the computer. Take a walk and reflect on high school experiences or browse through commencement speeches archives—like Lin-Manuel Miranda’s address at the University of Pennsylvania. They might spark ideas you hadn’t considered yet.

Navigating Technical Troubles

A great speech can stumble over technical hiccups. To avoid glitches, check all equipment beforehand—a simple but crucial task often overlooked due to nerves or excitement about graduating class celebrations.

Prior rehearsals will also let you handle these issues like a pro should they pop up during delivery. Make sure any videos or slides complement rather than overshadow what you’re saying. After all, graduates aren’t there for bells and whistles—they’re there for meaningful words.

Handling Stage Fright

Your knees may shake thinking delivering in front of proud parents and peers—it’s no small feat, after all. Before you step on stage, visual your success until it feels more real and attainable.

And don’t forget to watch your body language. During your speech, maintain eye contact—not stare-downs—to connect genuinely with fellow students. And if anxiety creeps up despite practice sessions? Take deep breaths to steady yourself and keep going. You’ve handled high school—you can handle this.

FAQs on Writing and Delivering a Graduation Speech

What do i say in my graduation speech.

Share heartfelt stories, acknowledge support from others, and inspire your classmates to chase their dreams boldly.

How do you write a 3 minute graduation speech?

Keep it tight: hit the high notes with gratitude, shared memories, a dash of humor, and wrap up with punchy inspiration.

How do I start a graduation speech?

Kick off with thanks. Give props to family and mentors. Set the stage for reflecting on past adventures together.

What is the most important message of a graduation speech?

The core should spark hope—urge peers to leap into tomorrow equipped with lessons learned during these formative years.

Master your moment with a graduation speech that turns heads and warms hearts. Remember the power of gratitude and connect with your audience through stories, those shared adventures that bind you to your classmates. Don’t be afraid to add a few jokes and quotes to your speech either, as well as personal growth stories to inspire.

When you hit the stage, stand tall, make eye contact, and speak from your heart—the podium’s yours. If butterflies invade, breathe deep and know everyone’s rooting for you. Writer’s block didn’t stop you and neither will this.

Your graduation speech is not just words—it’s a battle cry for your graduating class as you prepare to conquer what lies ahead!

  • Last Updated: March 5, 2024

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Public Speaking Tips & Speech Topics

Graduation Speech [20 Examples + Template]

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Jim Peterson has over 20 years experience on speech writing. He wrote over 300 free speech topic ideas and how-to guides for any kind of public speaking and speech writing assignments at My Speech Class.

graduation speech

Being selected as a commencement speaker is a great recognition, but the responsibility can be intimidating. How do you know what kind of message will hit home for the graduates at this point in their lives? How do you make your message stand out from other words of wisdom that the graduating class has heard before?

Fortunately, there are many incredible graduation speeches from which you can pull information. We’ve gathered 15 of the best graduation speech examples here to make your research and brainstorming process easier. A little studying can give you ideas for the perfect graduation speech topic and help you write your speech efficiently.

In this article:

Graduation Speech Examples

Graduation speech template.

Take note of the flow and structure of the examples, and let them guide you in creating your own graduation speech outline. Remember to practice your speech and memorize the bulk of it so you’re able to deliver with confidence. With a strong theme and plenty of practice, you’re sure to gain the audience’s attention and leave them inspired.

Here are 15 free graduation speech examples to gain inspiration from. If you like a style or message of a sample speech, use it as a model to create your own original version.

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1. Funny Valedictorian Speech

This valedictorian entertains the audience of his high school graduation speech with subtle, kind-hearted jokes that reflect the graduating class and the school faculty. The graduation speaker has a sentimental theme to his speech, but his light humor ensures that the presentation is both meaningful and memorable.

“You see, this is not goodbye. This is see you in two to 10 years when I’m significantly smarter, wealthier, funnier, and more handsome than I am right now.”

2. College Graduation Speech Example: Conan O’Brien at Dartmouth College

You don’t have to be a famous comedian to deliver a funny graduation speech, but let Conan O’Brien’s speech at Dartmouth College serve as a good model to create your own. Intertwining life advice and great jokes, O’Brien inspires graduates to get past failure and pave their own paths.

“Today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment, you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.”

3. Preschool Graduation Speech

This preschool graduation speech is a great example for teachers who need to give a commencement address. A speech for a preschool or kindergarten graduation is different, in that the speaker is mostly communicating to the parents of the graduates. This preschool teacher delivers a meaningful speech that explains the joy in her job, while touching on the humorous things the students have said over the months.

“Tomorrow I give you back your child, the same child you entrusted in my care last fall, except now I give them back to you pounds heavier, inches taller… I give them back to you a little smarter, a little more mature, and a little more responsible than they were 10 months ago.”

4. David Foster Wallace Kenyon College Commencement Speech

In what is recognized as one of the best graduation speeches of all time, David Foster Wallace affirms to a class of liberal arts students that their education taught them how to think and how to be self-aware.

“The only thing that’s capital-T True is that you get to decide how you’re gonna try to see it. This, I submit, is the freedom of a real education, of learning how to be well-adjusted. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn’t. You get to decide what to worship.”

5. Middle School Graduation Speech

A class president delivers a heartwarming message in a storytelling format at his middle school graduation ceremony.

“Once upon a time, three long years ago, a journey began. We were obedient little munchkins, climbing up stairs meant for giants, carrying heavy backpacks filled with every sort of colored pencil existing on this earth.”

6. University of Wisconsin-Madison Commencement Speech 2017

Steven Levitan, creator of the award-winning show “Modern Family,” was the commencement speaker at the University of Wisconsin-Madison for the graduating class of 2017. This is a good example to follow if you’re an alum of the college you’re presenting to.

“It’s hard to believe I graduated here 33 years ago. I still have the official university photo of me receiving my diploma wearing only shorts under my cap and gown and holding a big bottle of champagne, as if to say, ‘Hey world, lower your expectations.'”

7. Mark Zuckerberg’s Harvard University Commencement Speech

Successful people are often chosen as commencement speakers for university graduation ceremonies. See how the CEO and founder of Facebook is able to portray humility in relating to the 2017 graduating class at Harvard University.

“I’m honored to be with you today because, let’s face it, you accomplished something I never could. If I get through this speech, it’ll be the first time I actually finish something at Harvard. Class of 2017, congratulations!”

8. Al Roker’s Commencement Speech at Champlain College

Upon receiving his doctorate degree of humane letters, the “Today Show” weather anchor delivered an inspirational speech to the graduating class. Roker speaks to the class’s generation and relates his graduation speech topic back to his own upbringing.

“Be in the moment. Stop living through your screen. Experience it now.”

9. Steve Jobs’ Commencement Speech at Stanford University

The Apple CEO’s commencement speech at 2005 to the graduating class at Stanford University is one of the classics. Jobs tells stories about his own experiences with dropping out of college, being fired from Apple, and being diagnosed with cancer.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of the other opinion drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

10. Elementary School Graduation Speech

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVOQVsbkmbM

This fifth-grade class speaker relates her teacher’s message to a lesson from her grandfather as her opening hook .

“To survive the fifth grade is not barely making it through. Instead, to survive means to perform with distinction.

11. Ellen Degeneres Commencement Speech at Tulane University

The famous talk show host and comedian Ellen Degeneres’s commencement speech at Tulane University is a great example of how a guest speaker can identify with her audience.

“It was so important for me to lose everything because I found what the most important thing is. The most important thing is to be true to yourself.”

12. University of Texas at Austin 2014 Commencement Address

Rear Admiral William H. McRaven aims to inspire his audience right from the beginning. The rear admiral encourages the graduating class to change the world, relating everyday life struggles to those of the people in the military.

“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.”

13. Matthew McConaughey Commencement Speech

Oscar-winning actor Matthew McConaughey drew from his own personal story to deliver an inspirational commencement speech at the University of Houston. McConaughey gives the graduating class 13 life lessons, including to define success for yourself and find joy in your work.

“Prioritize who you are and who you want to be. Don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.”

14. Commencement Address by Jim Carrey

In his commencement address at Maharishi University of Management, actor Jim Carrey tells an emotional personal story. Carrey uses emotion to encourage the graduating class to walk their own path and never settle in life.

“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”

15. Stephen Colbert’s Commencement Speech at Wake Forest University

The famous comedian delivers a witty and funny graduation speech, offering students practical advice for the real world.

“And if there’s one thing you need even more, it’s your own set of standards. It may seem counterintuitive now, but once you leave here, you may miss being graded on all your work. Because when you’re out of school, there are no objective criteria for achievement anymore.”

16. Inspiring Graduation Speech

In this remarkable graduation speech, the class valedictorian makes a political statement by publicly revealing her status as an undocumented immigrant. The speech starts out with jokes, but turns into a moving performance that’s as powerful as it is fun to watch.

“To each and every single one of you, I say thank you. You taught me that it’s okay to be different and that there will always be people willing to overlook those differences and accept you for being yourself.”

17. Funny Graduation Speech

This class-elected graduation speaker has the perfect delivery of well-crafted jokes and one-liners throughout her speech. She keeps the whole class laughing and never misses a beat.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to pursuing an additional 4-year education – which I can’t afford.”

18. Moving Graduation Speech

This college graduation speech educates listeners about women’s education through the eyes of the speaker, who encountered resistance to seeking an education just because she was a woman. It’s nearly impossible to listen to this speech without feeling moved to take action.

“I couldn’t have imagined attending college, simply because we weren’t allowed to. My sisters weren’t allowed to; the girls before me weren’t allowed to.”

19. Funny Graduation Speech

This graduation speech by the senior class president is humorous and engaging. The class president reminisces with plenty of jokes in a speech full of fun memories and just the right amount of inspiration.

“I know we can all agree that this class is resilient. We survived an earthquake, two blackouts, and Ebola.”

20. Short Graduation Speech

Graduation ceremonies can be long, but the speeches don’t have to be. This short graduation speech uses an “ABCs of life” format to pack a lot of power into a short amount of time. The class president gets wild applause from the audience for his quick but clever speech.

“We must Q – quit quitting, and R – run the race with patience.”

  • Thank teachers and your parents or other family members for their support, encouragement, help, aid or personal assistance during your years of studying.
  • Praise accomplishments and achievements of the class.
  • Reflect upon the past years, what has changed and is interesting enough to share with all?
  • Mention funny and exciting events, you can opt for funny oneliners or even small innocent jokes, poems or quotations from famous people if you like.
  • Motivate your fellow students and teachers and professors to look to the bright future:
  • I continue with the 10 most wanted and popular graduation speech topics:
  • Give advice, but avoid boring cliches that are totally not surprising.
  • Entertain by telling humorous anecdotes and vivid stories. Offer an account of an interesting or humorous incident.
  • Express the feelings of the class. But do not go over the top.
  • Say farewell to all attendees. This acknowledgment at parting is the warming-up for the next and final step
  • Wish the graduates of your class all the best and thank them for listening.

Don’t forget to:

Thank the parents and family.  Have your class honor them with applause. Not only have they made sure you showed up to school, there’s a host of other responsibilities that parents have sacrificed to accomplish for you. Now is your moment to focus on them for a minute or so.

Thank the teachers and administrators.  Each teacher or professor works many long hours that you don’t see in the classroom, and many have poured their hearts and lives into teaching. Take this moment to make it worth it for them.

Use some of my vote of thanks example expressions to feed you imagination for topics for graduation speech a little bit.

Make the address personal. When you decide to make your graduation speech personal, you will experience much bigger success. It will also be more fun to write and deliver a talk that brings high school or college to a close with recognition of the small things in education life. The memories you will run across looking through yearbooks and talking about with friends will be priceless for you as well.

Calm the nerves.  It is very intimidating to address hundreds of people in the audience while delivering a graduation speech. Many of us have fear of public speaking. Before you proceed, do this test. And practice the tips.

Consider including:

STORIES Include stories about your school. These high school graduation speech topics can be about teachers and funny things that have happened over the year.

EVENTS Include motivational or moving events that may have happened – perhaps volunteer opportunities that have changed the students’ perspective. Make sure that any major events that have happened are recognized.

Sports and music events that have been important to the school need to be recognized, even if it happened in one of the prior years of your class and not the graduating year.

CLASS EXPERIENCE Bring the class experience alive for those attending the graduation. Grandparents and parents, as well as siblings, have heard the names from school.

Bring the people to the campus life that they have heard about.

DECEASED If a fellow student or teacher has died, mention that person. Make it not a funeral obituary eulogy but recognize them for the family who might be present.

PROJECTS Mention any projects that the school has undertaken; if you have been involved in a community garden or other volunteer organization give credit for the impact it has made.

Pet Peeve Speech Topics

Commemorative Speech

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4 High School Graduation Speech Samples That Inspire

Get ready to motivate and inspire your fellow grads with our example speeches you can use as inspo to craft your own.

Kelly has more than 12 years experience as a professional writer and editor.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

You made it to your senior year! And the next step in your life is graduation. Congrats on being chosen to speak for your class on the big day. While public speaking can be a bit intimidating, we know you have what it takes to do an awesome job. All you need is a little inspo for your high school graduation speech. 

Not to worry. We have your back. So take a deep breath, check out our high school graduation speech examples and tips, and get ready to wow your classmates, faculty, and families. You've totally got this. 

Sample Speeches for High School Graduation

While you probably won't want to use these speeches exactly, they're definitely a great place to start. Use our sample graduation speeches to help inspire your own creativity. Click to download and edit them for your own use. If you have any trouble downloading, please review the troubleshooting guide .

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If you like the style or sentiment of a particular speech, think of how it applies to your own high school experience, and use that as the basis for an original speech of your own.

Sample One: How We'll Measure These Years

You're not the same group of people you were in your freshman year. And our first sample is a speech that talks about how things have changed over your high school years.

My fellow students, we only arrived here four short years ago, and now it's already time to leave. How did it all go so fast? It seems like only yesterday that we were skinny little freshmen fighting with the locks on our lockers, trying to figure out where our next class was, and looking generally clueless to all the upperclassmen. Now, we are the upperclassmen — the seniors who stand here ready to graduate and move forward in the world. Yet at this seminal moment, we can't help looking back. 

How do we measure the time we've spent in high school? In the beginning, we measured it in class periods, counting down the day to eventual freedom. As the days and weeks passed, we measured it in semesters and later in years as we moved from being those clueless freshmen to becoming sophisticated sophomores who thought they had it all figured out. By the time we reached our junior year, we were confident that we were prepared to take over for the graduating seniors, and we couldn't wait to "rule the school." 

And now here we stand. Our rule is over, and it's up to the next class to step into our shoes and take over. I know that as I look out at all of you, I will measure my time here in a much different way. I will measure it in all the friendships I've enjoyed these last four years. Some were pretty casual, and others were much closer, but I'll remember each one fondly, as I'm sure you all will, too. And when many of our high school memories begin to fade, that's how we'll ultimately measure the time we spent here, not in periods or semesters or years, but in the friendships that we made and the times we shared together. 

Congratulations my fellow graduates of the class of (Insert year). Wherever we go and whatever we do, may we always be friends when we meet again. 

Sample Two: The Future Is in Our Hands

The second example focuses more on what the future holds for a high school graduate.

We stand here today on the precipice of the future. It's not a distant reality anymore. It begins here. It begins today. 

We began high school as children, but we're leaving here as adults. We've completed a basic education that will serve as the platform we use to launch ourselves into our futures. Some of us will go on to college, and others will go straight into the workforce, but each of us will travel our own path. 

No matter where we go or what we do, there are challenges ahead of us. What I'm asking from each of you, and from myself, is to meet those challenges straight on with our heads held high and our hearts wide open. It's not enough to simply try to get by in life. That doesn't move the world forward. We must try to excel in everything we do; strive for excellence in every task, large or small. 

Although it may not be easy to see, every accomplishment we achieve is added to the world's accomplishments. Our individual successes benefit society as a whole because when we succeed, we lighten the burden on our fellow man. When we succeed, we are in a position to give rather than take. 

Imagine if every individual lived up to their own potential. Think about how amazing that would be, and how much better off the world would be. Now imagine if just half of those individuals lived up to their potential. The world would still be an awesome place. If even 1/4 of those individuals worked to make their lives successful, they could still make some amazing contributions to society. 

Well, we may not have the power to inspire the entire world to strive for success, but we do have the power to try to achieve it for ourselves. My challenge to each of you and to myself is to do all that we can to reach our full potential. If each of the (Insert number) students in this graduating class is able to do that, just imagine the effect that would have. The future is truly in our hands, so let's make the most of it. 

Sample Three: A Debt of Gratitude

Nobody's accomplishments are 100% their own—there's always someone there to provide support, inspiration, and motivation. The third sample is about giving thanks to those who have helped everyone successfully graduate from high school.

I'd like to welcome everyone to this solemn and joyous occasion. It has been a long four years, but here we are, ready to graduate. We worked hard to get to this point, but we didn't do it by ourselves. 

We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the following people. To our teachers, thank you for so unselfishly sharing your time, talent, and knowledge with us. Yes, we know it was your job to do it, but what you did for us went beyond the call of duty. You took the time to explain assignments, sometimes repeatedly because we weren't paying attention. You allowed us to come to your classroom after school for extra help when you could have gone home to spend time with your family. You put in the effort to make lessons more interesting so we wouldn't just tune out. You demanded excellence from us whether or not we wanted to give it. You set the bar high and challenged us to live up to it. 

To our parents, thank you for supporting us in more ways than it's possible to count. You dragged us out of bed each morning and made sure we were fed and clothed for school. You herded us out the door to the bus stop or drove us to school yourselves. You helped us with homework, paid our class fees, and listened to our complaints. You came to our plays, attended our sporting events, and chaperoned our dances. You commiserated over our daily dramas, but you tried to give us enough space to learn how to work things out for ourselves. These are just a few of the thousands of ways you've supported us on our journey. 

To our coaches and advisors, thank you for making school about more than just classwork. Through sports, we learned how to power on through adversity and give it our best effort, win or lose. We learned the importance of discipline and good sportsmanship. Through other activities like participating in clubs, school plays, and service projects, we learned how to work closely with others to achieve a common goal, and we had a lot of fun doing it. 

To our custodial staff and lunchroom attendants, thank you for keeping our school clean and safe. You know better than anyone else what slobs we've been. You actually deserve some kind of medal. 

To our principal, vice principal, and all the office staff, thank you for keeping things running smoothly so our teachers could concentrate on us. We're better off for it. 

To our guidance counselors, thank you for listening and trying to keep us on the right track for graduation. Without your help, some of us might not be graduating today. 

As you can see, behind each graduate there must have been at least a dozen people providing support in at least a dozen ways. The best way we graduates can show our gratitude is to make the most of the opportunity we've been given and go forward into the world with the intention of making it a better place for the generations that follow us. We'll pay that debt of gratitude forward. 

Sample Four: Inspirational Moments for Life

You're getting ready to head out into the world as adults. Adulting can be hard, but you'll find all the inspiration you need inside yourself. This last sample speech is an inspirational high school graduation speech that asks each student to look back on some of the moments from high school that will inspire them forever.

While the last four years were filled with friends, classes, teachers, and work, there were also tiny inspirations hiding in plain sight. In those moments, we were too busy, too distracted, too young to notice them. As we take a retrospective look at our high school years, I hope we will all see them clearly now. 

Close your eyes and imagine, if you will, that one thing that one teacher said to you that didn’t mean much at the time, but means something now. If you can’t hear it, think harder. This is one of your inspirational moments from high school.

Now, imagine that one scary moment with that one friend inside the school walls. Think about how you both acted and how it all turned out. If you can’t see it, think harder. This is one of your inspirational moments from high school. 

Imagine, one more time, that time when you felt so proud of yourself. Think about what you accomplished and how you did it for yourself. If you can’t feel it, think harder. This is one of your inspirational moments from high school. 

The most amazing things happen in high school when we least expect them. Although we're different people with different lives, we all experience these inspirational moments that happened in high school and stay with us for life. As we look toward our future, I encourage you to take time and look for these moments. They’ll be your inspiration for life. 

Example of a Humorous Valedictorian Speech

The following video offers a great example of a graduation speech that really speaks to the graduates while being humorous, appropriate, and entertaining. If you have a natural gift for humor, a funny speech like this will be remembered long after other graduation memories have begun to fade.

Tips for Writing a Graduation Speech

Whether you're writing a speech for your homeschool graduation, as the class Valedictorian, or as a graduation thank you speech , there are a few tips for speech writing that can make your talk meaningful and memorable.

Related: Inspirational Graduation Speeches and Themes

Know Your Audience

Even though parents, faculty, and members of the community will be on hand, the focus of your speech should be your classmates. Speak to them!

Grab Their Attention

A good speech grabs the audience's attention and never lets it go. Start off with an attention-grabbing question or a humorous first line, or make a strong statement that provokes curiosity about where the speech is going. Feel free to add appropriate humor liberally. Having a theme for the speech is also helpful.

Tell Stories

Don't just read your speech. Tell your speech by interspersing emotional stories that tug at the heartstrings or inspire positive actions for the future. You might even want to include an original poem to help express your feelings.

Include Everyone

Don't just speak to the academic achievers, sports stars, or popular crowd. Your topic should be all inclusive of your graduating class.

Keep It Short, but Not Too Short

Knowing how long a high school graduation speech should be is important before you start writing. Student speeches at high school graduations are generally between five and 10 minutes long, but closer to five is ideal.

End With a Memorable Message

High school graduation speeches by students and special guests often end with a memorable and actionable sentence that encourages the audience to do something great. It's customary to end by saying, "Thank you" in your graduation speech, which you can do after your memorable one-liner.

Don't Wear Out Your Welcome

A really great commencement speech is enjoyed, not simply endured. Put some serious thought into your speech, say something meaningful, and stick to your topic so your message doesn't get lost. Above all, don't talk too long. Remember that everyone wants to receive their diplomas, shed those caps and gowns , and get on with the celebration.

This writer analyzed 100 graduation speeches — here are the 4 tips they all share

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funny end of graduation speech

Steve Jobs has been credited over the years with popularizing any number of other people’s inventions, from the personal computer to the tablet to the mobile phone. But none of these gifts may be as enduring as one of his rarely credited contributions to contemporary life — popularizing the viral commencement address.

On June 12, 2005, Jobs stood before the graduating class of Stanford University and reminded them that he had never graduated from college. “Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation.” He then told three stories about his life. “That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.”

That speech , coinciding as it did with the rise of internet virality (the first TED Talk would be posted on TED.com exactly 12 months later; the iPhone was introduced exactly 12 months after that), launched a global obsession with pithy, inspirational talks. Jobs’s speech has since been viewed more than 40 million times on YouTube.

Graduation speeches, long viewed as the burdensome interruption before diplomas were granted and mortar boards were tossed, have since become big business. Kurt Vonnegut, Ann Patchett, Carl Hiaasen, J.K. Rowling, Mary Karr, David Foster Wallace and many others have all had their commencement speeches published as books.

I’ve been fortunate to give a handful of commencement addresses over the years, and I confess to a fascination with the genre. The internet has been a boon this hobby. There are thousands of commencement speeches on the web. Can we learn anything from their messages?

I’ve spent the last few years gathering and coding hundreds of life stories, looking for patterns and takeaways that could help all of us live with more meaning, purpose and joy. I decided to put some of my coding tools to work, analyzing 100 of the most popular recent commencement speeches.

Here are the four tips they all contain:

1. Dream big

“I think it is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. I know that sounds completely nuts. But, since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. There are so few people this crazy that I feel like I know them all by first name. They all travel as if they are pack dogs and stick to each other like glue. The best people want to work the big challenges.” — Larry Page at University of Michigan , 2009

“We don’t beat the reaper by living longer. We beat the reaper by living well and living fully. For the reaper is always going to come for all of us. The question is: What do we do between the time we are born, and the time he shows up? Because when he shows up, it’s too late to do all the things that you’re always gonna, kinda get around to.” — Randy Pausch at Carnegie Mellon University , 2009

“Graduates, we need you. We need you to run companies and make decisions about who has access to capital. We need you to serve at the highest levels of government and determine our country’s standing in the world. We need you to work in our hospitals and in our courtrooms and in our schools. We need you to shape the future of technology. We need you because your perspective — the sum total of your intellect and your lived experience — will make our country stronger.” — Kamala Harris at Tennessee State University , 2022

2. Work hard

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” — Steve Jobs at Stanford University , 2005

“I just directed my first film. I was completely unprepared, but my own ignorance to my own limitations looked like confidence and got me into the director’s chair. Once there, I had to figure it all out, and my belief that I could handle these things, contrary to all evidence of my ability to do so was half the battle. The other half was very hard work. The experience was the deepest and most meaningful one of my career.” — Natalie Portman at Harvard University , 2015

“When you’re doing the work you’re meant to do, it feels right and every day is a bonus, regardless of what you’re getting paid … But make it your life’s work to remake the world because there is nothing more beautiful or more worthwhile than working to leave something better for humanity.” — Oprah Winfrey at Stanford University , 2008

3. Make mistakes

”Fail big. That’s right. Fail big … It’s a new world out there, and it’s a mean world out there, and you only live once. So do what you feel passionate about. Take chances, professionally. Don’t be afraid to fail. There’s an old IQ test with nine dots, and you had to draw five lines with a pencil within these nine dots without lifting the pencil, and the only way to do it was to go outside the box. So don’t be afraid to go outside the box.” — Denzel Washington at University of Pennsylvania , 2011

“The world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the number of times you get back up.” — Aaron Sorkin at Syracuse University , 2013

“My experience has been that my mistakes led to the best thing in my life. Being embarrassed when you mess up is part of the human experience of getting back up dusting yourself off and seeing who still wants to hang out with you afterward and laugh about it. That’s a gift. The times I was told no or wasn’t included wasn’t chosen, didn’t win, didn’t make the cut, looking back it really feels like those moments we’re as important if not more crucial than the moments I was told yes.” — Taylor Swift at NYU , 2022

“Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” — Conan O’Brien at Dartmouth College , 2011

“Empathy and kindness are the true signs of emotional intelligence.” — Will Ferrell at the University of Southern California , 2017

“So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded … sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly. Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth? Those who were kindest to you, I bet. It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.” — George Saunders at Syracuse University , 2013

So what can we learn from these themes?

Every era in American life has its own standards of what it means to be a success. Shortly after America’s founding, success was all about character. Led by Benjamin Franklin, Americans embraced virtue, industry, and frugality. In the twentieth century, success was all about personality. Led by Dale Carnegie, Americans embraced salesmanship, reinvention and charisma. Today, led by Steve Jobs, Americans are embracing meaning, authenticity and bliss. Or, as Kermit the Frog put it in a 1996 commencement speech at Southampton College , “May success and a smile always be yours … even when you’re knee-deep in the sticky muck of life.”

Dream, work, fail and smile are as good a foursome of American identity today as I know. And if those ideas don’t inspire you, you can always embrace the far more practical advice erroneously attributed to Kurt Vonnegut in a commencement speech that he never gave at MIT, but was instead delivered by Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich in an imaginary speech to graduates she published in an old-fashioned newspaper, “Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen.”

This post was adapted from one published on his newsletter The Nonlinear Life; go here to subscribe.

Watch his TEDxIEMadrid Talk now:

About the author

Bruce Feiler is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including The Secrets of Happy Families and Council of Dads, both of which became the subject of TED Talks. His latest book, Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age, from which this post and TEDx Talk are adapted, describes his journey across America, collecting hundreds of life stories, exploring how we can navigate life’s growing number of transitions with more meaning, purpose and joy. To learn more, visit brucefeiler.com, follow him on Twitter (@brucefeiler), or sign up for his newsletter The Nonlinear Life. 

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Quotes That Point to the Funny Side of Graduation

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If you've been asked to speak at a high school or college graduation or celebration, you may be searching for the perfect icebreaker. But how do you get a group of serious-minded students and their parents to crack a smile? Fortunately, plenty of famous (and not-so-famous) writers and orators have been in the same situation before you, and have come up with some clever, witty quotes to borrow.

Funny Quotes About Education and Learning

High schools and colleges take academics very seriously, but there is a funny side to learning!

Unknown One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first time.

George Foreman I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a  college graduate  today.

Oscar Wilde Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.

Theodore Roosevelt  A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

Funny Quotes About Graduation

Graduation is a formal event with lots of pomp and circumstance. Seen through the right lens, though, it is pretty funny!

Robert Orben A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Gary Bolding Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

Doug Larson The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

James D'arcy It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realized I'd become an actor.

Garry Trudeau Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

Robert Goheen If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.

Unknown The tassel’s worth the hassle!

Erma Bombeck  Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.   

Jon Stewart The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

Bill Watterson  So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

Funny Quotes About Succeeding in Life

Most commencement speakers have something to say about success in life and the road ahead. Here are some quotes to add a little humor to your sage advice.

Proverb You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Ed Helms So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track.

Frank A. Clark  If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.

Unknown All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder.    

Ellen DeGeneres  Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.   

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Graduation Speech Examples

50 top graduation speech ideas (& examples).

Try to search online and you’ll find a lot of graduation speech examples. If you’re in charge of giving a speech during this important event, you have the choice of whether to compose a long or short graduation speech. As long as you’re able to convey your message, the length isn’t that relevant.

Table of Contents

  • 1 Graduation Speech Examples
  • 2 What should you write about in your graduation speech?
  • 3 Graduation Speech Outlines
  • 4 Structuring your graduation speech
  • 5 Graduation Speech Templates
  • 6 High School Graduation Speech
  • 7 Tips for writing graduation speech
  • 8 College Graduation Speech

Free graduation speech example 01

What should you write about in your graduation speech?

Most people wonder what to write for their graduation speech examples. Whether you need to compose a high school graduation speech example or a college graduation speech example, you must put a lot of careful thought and consideration into the contents of your speech.

In the past, writing a graduation speech template wasn’t that intimidating. But now, you should remember that there’s a high likelihood that the people present at the event will post your speech on social media sites such as Facebook and YouTube. This makes it imperative that you compose a speech that’s effective, interesting, and won’t end up offending anyone.

A lot of incredible speakers start their speech-writing process by creating an outline. So, if you want to come up with a great speech, you may want to start off with a graduation speech outline . Here, you include everything you want to include in your speech. From there, writing becomes easier.

Graduation Speech Outlines

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Structuring your graduation speech

When it comes to the structure of your graduation speech, you have a few options to choose from. As you create your graduation speech outline, you’re giving it a structure for you to follow when it’s time to start writing.

You may create a long or short graduation speech depending on how much you want to say and how long you want to stand in front of the graduating class. You can even create a graduation speech template using the structure of your choice. This makes it easier for you for the next time you need to come up with a speech.

If you have no idea where to start, you may go online and read high school graduation speech examples or college graduation speech examples. Use these as your reference or for your inspiration as you write your speech.

Graduation Speech Templates

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Either way, these examples will be a great help to you if it’s your first time to compose such a speech. To guide you, here are some structures to follow for your graduation speech:

  • Use a few themes which you illustrate with non-fictional or personal stories For this type of speech, you can use a couple of themes which you introduce early in your speech. From reaching their dreams of finding their own place in the world, there are so many themes to choose from. Then illustrate these themes further using non-fictional examples or stories from your personal life.
  • Use several themes which you illustrate with short anecdotes or personal stories For this structure, you come up with a number of themes for your audiences. But instead of sharing those themes at the start of your speech, you share short anecdotes or personal stories which illustrate those themes. Then you give helpful advice to your audience to help them in their future endeavors. However, this structure isn’t ideal for short graduation speeches. Since you’re going to use several themes, this means that your speech would be relatively long. Therefore, it’s probably a good idea to use this for a college graduation speech, not one for a high school graduation .
  • Use an autobiographical narrative If you plan to use this structure for your graduation speech examples, it means that you want to open up and share more details about your life to your audience. It’s sort of like a mini-memoir wherein the audience learns a lot about the experiences you’ve had in your personal life. As you share these experiences, you also share a lot of life lessons with them. Although you don’t give advice directly at the beginning of your speech, you would incorporate these little bits of advice throughout your speech. Talk about your own experiences after graduation, how you dealt with the real world, and how you overcame different kinds of challenges.
  • Use the main theme and some personal references Finally, you can also structure your speech in such a way that you’re leading up to one main theme or point. A lot of people find this structure to be extremely difficult to put together because they feel like it’s too limited. But as long as you create a graduation speech outline, following this structure won’t be that much of a challenge.

High School Graduation Speech

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Tips for writing graduation speech

Whether you’re representing the graduation class or you’re asked to come and give a speech to the graduating class, you have to come up with your own graduation speech. The good news is that there are a lot of graduation speech examples which you can use as a reference.

Writing a graduation speech doesn’t have to be a difficult task. As long as you have an idea of what to write and you know what you want to say to the graduating class, the words will start flowing from your mind. But if you need some help, here are some tips to guide you:

  • Brainstorming Any great speech starts with a brainstorming session. You can begin by asking yourself what you want to write in your speech. If you’re the representative of the graduating class, then think about all of the learning and experiences you’ve gained throughout your education. If they asked you to speak for the graduating class, then think about the advice you want to share to them in order to inspire them and somehow prepare them for what’s to come. Brainstorming involves a lot of thought, especially about the future. There’s nothing wrong with talking about the past and the present but since you’ll speak to a graduating class, talking about the future is much more relevant. As you think about the things to say, write everything down on a piece of paper. Later on, you can review your ideas to see which ones to keep and which ones to remove from your speech.
  • Choosing a theme After your brainstorming session, you’d have a lot of ideas, stories, and advice to share to your audience. Now it’s time to begin shaping all of these into one coherent speech. To do this, you may want to think about the theme to focus on for your speech. Whether you want to choose a single theme or a collection of themes which you will link with one another, this step makes speech writing easier. Also, having a theme makes the speech more memorable and impactful to the audience. With a theme, you’ll also be able to sort through the things you’ve written down more effectively only choosing the ones which relate to your theme.
  • Building the structure After you’ve identified the theme, you can start building the structure of your graduation speech. Here are some steps to help you out: Make sure that your introductory statement grabs the attention of your audience right away. In other words, get the audience “hooked” from the beginning so they will feel compelled to listen to your entire speech. Illustrate the theme you’ve chosen by telling stories. Keep in mind that the best stories always have a beginning with a challenge or obstacle, a middle where you share how you overcame it, and an end where you discussed how this experience helped you grow. For the end of your speech, tie together all of the points you’ve discussed throughout your speech. Also, make it clear how your message applies to your audience. You may also share valuable advice to your audience in the conclusion of your speech.
  • Practicing your delivery Even after you’ve written your speech, the work doesn’t end there. You also have to deliver it to the graduating class. For a lot of people, this part is a lot more intimidating, especially for those who aren’t used to speaking in front of an audience. Here are some pointers for you: If you’ve created a short graduation speech, you may want to try memorizing it. This helps you focus on your delivery to make it more personable. Don’t speak too fast even when you’re feeling nervous. Try practicing in front of friends and family so you can learn how to consciously slow down your speaking rate. Once in a while, pause during the delivery of your speech. You can either pause to emphasize your point or to give the audience some time to consider what you’ve said. If you want to keep your audience engaged, make eye contact. Don’t feel stressed or stop if you make any mistake. Just continue with your speech.
  • Other tips for you Don’t forget to thank everyone who helped you on your journey. If you aren’t part of the graduating class, thank the person who invited you to give the speech. Be as lively and enthusiastic as possible when delivering your speech. If it’s your first time to deliver a speech, practice again and again. Have fun with it! Feeling stressed won’t help.

College Graduation Speech

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55 Best Funny Graduation Quotes for All of Your Instagram-Worthy Photos

Need some inspiration for a grad card or a caption for cap and gown pictures? Try one of these hilarious quotes.

preview for Best Commencement Advice for New Graduates

If you're the one scoring the diploma this upcoming spring, you know that getting to the end included a lot of laughs, late nights in the library, expensive textbooks, and an endless list of assignments. How could you not poke fun at it all with one of these hilarious short messages? And if you're the proud family member or relative who wants to elicit a few giggles with their gift and card, then you also can't go wrong with a quip from this roundup. Take a look at our favorite funny graduation quotes below — and if you still need a few gift ideas, check out our recommended gifts for college kids and top presents for high schoolers .

Robert Orben

funny graduation quotes — robert orben

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.

RELATED : 140 Best Graduation Quotes Perfect for the Class of 2023

Patricia Akins

funny graduation quotes — patricia akins

Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books are judged by their cover!

Mark A. Cooper

funny graduation quotes — mark a cooper

Life has no remote....get up and change it yourself.

George Foreman

funny graduation quotes — george foreman

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.

Harry Banks

funny graduation quotes — harry banks

If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

Elbert Hubbard

funny graduation quotes — elbert hubbard

Do not take life too seriously — you will never get out of it alive.

Sarah Brown

funny graduation quotes — sarah brown

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.

Muhammad Ali

funny graduation quotes — muhammad ali

If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.

Thomas Dewar

funny graduation quotes — thomas dewar

Minds are like parachutes — they only function when open.

James E. Ryan

funny graduation quotes — james e ryan

Each year at graduation, I am obliged to offer a few “brief remarks,” which are usually not as brief as they should be.

Erma Bombeck

funny graduation quotes — erma bombeck

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After 22 years of child-raising, they are unemployed.

Lily Tomlin

funny graduation quotes — lily tomlin

The road to success is always under construction.

George W. Bush

funny graduation quotes — george w bush

To those of you who are graduating this afternoon with high honors, awards and distinctions, I say, "Well done." And as I like to tell the C students: You too, can be president.

Doug Larson

funny graduation quotes — doug larson

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

Bette Reese

funny graduation quotes — bette reese

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.

Jon Stewart

funny graduation quote by jon stewart

The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

Frank A. Clark

funny graduation quote by frank a clark

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.

funny graduation quote by john green

Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.

Andy Sorkin

funny graduation quote by aaron sorkin

You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.

Neil Gaiman

funny graduation quote by neil gaiman

Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.

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16 Best Graduation Speeches That Leave a Lasting Impression

By Kristi Kellogg and Noor Brara

Listen to words of wisdom from the best graduation speeches.

Some of the most impactful and inspiring sentiments are shared during graduation speeches delivered by the leaders we look up to. Graduation speeches from celebrities , entrepreneurs, authors and other influential thinkers are motivational, inspiring, thought-provoking and just might make you reach for the nearest tissue. After four years of hard work, stress, and exhausting self-discovery, lucky graduates are privy to a life-changing speech to top it all off.

Here, we rounded up up 16 of the best graduation speeches of all time, including words of wisdom from Natalie Portman, Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and more.

1. Steve Jobs: Stanford, 2005

"You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."

2. Michelle Obama: Tuskegee University, 2015

"I've found that this journey has been incredibly freeing. Because no matter what happened, I had the piece of mind knowing that all of the chatter, the name-calling, the doubting...all of it was just noise. It did not define me, it didn't change who I was, and most importantly, it couldn't hold me back."

3. Natalie Portman: Harvard, 2015

"I just directed my first film. I was completely unprepared, but my own ignorance to my own limitations looked like confidence and got me into the director's chair. Once there, I had to figure it all out, and my belief that I could handle these things, contrary to all evidence of my ability to do so was half the battle. The other half was very hard work. The experience was the deepest and most meaningful one of my career."

4. Amy Poehler: Harvard University, 2011

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"What I have discovered is this: You can't do it alone … Listen. Say 'yes.' Live in the moment. Make sure you play with people who have your back. Make big choices early and often."

5. Meryl Streep: Barnard College, 2010

"This is your time and it feels normal to you but really there is no normal. There's only change, and resistance to it and then more change."

6. David Foster Wallace: Kenyon College, 2005

"Twenty years after my own graduation, I have come gradually to understand that the liberal arts cliché about teaching you how to think is actually shorthand for a much deeper, more serious idea: learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about quote the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master."

7. Barack Obama: Howard University, 2016

"You have to go through life with more than just passion for change; you need a strategy. I’ll repeat that. I want you to have passion, but you have to have a strategy. Not just awareness, but action. Not just hashtags, but votes."

8. Kerry Washington: George Washington University, 2013

"You and you alone are the only person who can live the life that can write the story that you were meant to tell."

9. Conan O'Brien: Dartmouth College, 2011

"There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. Today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality … Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen."

10. J.K. Rowling: Harvard, 2008

"I stopped pretending to be anything than what I was. My greatest fear had been realized. I had an old typewriter and a big idea. Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

11. Oprah Winfrey: Harvard University, 2013

"Learn from every mistake because every experience, encounter, and particularly your mistakes are there to teach you and force you into being more who you are. And then figure out what is the next right move. And the key to life is to develop an internal moral, emotional G.P.S. that can tell you which way to go."

12. Joss Whedon: Wesleyan University, 2013

"You have, which is a rare thing, that ability and the responsibility to listen to the dissent in yourself, to at least give it the floor, because it is the key—not only to consciousness–but to real growth. To accept duality is to earn identity. And identity is something that you are constantly earning. It is not just who you are. It is a process that you must be active in. It's not just parroting your parents or the thoughts of your learned teachers. It is now more than ever about understanding yourself so you can become yourself."

13. George Saunders: Syracuse University, 2013

"Do all the other things, the ambitious things … Travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop)—but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness."

14. Nora Ephron: Wellesley College, 1996

"Be the heroine of your life, not the victim."

15. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Wellesley College, 2015

"As you graduate, as you deal with your excitement and your doubts today, I urge you to try and create the world you want to live in. Minister to the world in a way that can change it. Minister radically in a real, active, practical, get your hands dirty way."

16. Admiral William H. McRaven: University of Texas at Austin, 2014

"If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right."

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100 Public-Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech

100 Public-Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech

So, if you are looking to add humor to your presentation, one of the best ways is to insert self-deprecating humor in the form of funny stories. A good story from your own personal experience will be easier to insert into your speech. The story will also create more of a shared experience with your audience. For details about how to use stories to add humor to your speech , click here.

With that being said, though, sometimes, you just need to get a quick laugh out of your audience. And good jokes can be a great way to lighten the mood. We’ve organized the post into four categories of public-speaking jokes.

100 Public Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech.

  • Public-Speaking Jokes .
  • One-Liners about Public Speaking and Presenting .
  • Funny Public Speaking Quotes .
  • Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers .

Public-Speaking Jokes for Your Next Presentation to Add a Little Fun.

Between you and I, telling jokes in front of an audience is pretty risky. But sometimes, just getting the audience to laugh right from the start can lighten the mood. Here are a few jokes about public speaking that you can use when you are public speaking.

Jokes about Being Nervous and the Fear of Public Speaking

7 Presentation Habits that Make Your Nervous Speaker

  • Why did the public speaker hire a pitching coach? Because he needed to improve his delivery!
  • I used to think I was afraid of public speaking, but just now, I realized I was actually afraid of audiences.
  • A public speaker asked the audience, “How many of you are afraid of public speaking?” About half the audience raised their hands. The speaker replied, “Don’t worry, I used to be too. In fact, there was a 50/50 chance that I’d canceled today’s talk!”
  • My wife was nervous about public speaking. So, I told her she should embrace her mistake to add a little humor to her delivery. She gave me a hug. Then she laughed.
  • Public speaking tip: Imagine the audience naked. But not if you’re giving a eulogy.

Funny Jokes about Presentation Challenges.

Okay, funny may be a little overexaggerated, but corny can work too. Here are a few jokes about challenges that can come up in a presentation.

  • Why did the PowerPoint presentation go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.
  • I was going to tell a time-traveling joke during my speech, but you didn’t like it.
  • I asked the librarian if there were any books on how to overcome the fear of public speaking. She whispered, “They’re in the self-help section, but you might have to speak up to find them.”
  • I used to be a baker before I became a public speaker. I kneaded the dough, and now I need the audience!
  • Why did the public speaker become a gardener? Because he knew how to plant ideas and watch them grow!

These Jokes Are about Audience Interaction.

Jokes Are about Audience Interaction

  • I asked the audience if anyone had experience with public speaking. A cricket in the corner started chirping.
  • The best way to become a confident public speaker is to imagine the audience in their underwear. Unless you’re speaking at a nudist colony.
  • I told my wife I was going to give a speech on procrastination. She said, “Maybe next time.”
  • How do you make a tissue dance during a speech? You put a little boogie in it!
  • Why did the extroverted computer become a public speaker? Because it had great social networking skills!

Public Speaking Jokes about Presentation Themes.

These funny (or corny) jokes are about the process of public speaking. You can easily use one of these if you start with… “Before I actually start my presentation…” then add the joke.

  • I asked my friend if he had any advice for public speaking. He said, “Yes, just imagine the audience is full of cats. They don’t care what you’re saying, but they’ll pay attention if you have treats.”
  • How do you organize a fantastic space-themed presentation? You planet!
  • Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the presentation? To reach new heights in communication!
  • My friend tried to give a speech on patience, but the audience left before he finished. It seems they didn’t have the patience for it.
  • Why did the microphone apply for a job in public speaking? Because it wanted to be heard at work!

A Few Random Public Speaking Jokes (Use with Caution.)

These last few public speaking jokes are a little more tricky. You’d want to save these only for the right type of crowd.

  • I used to be afraid of public speaking, but then I realized it’s just talking in front of people. Now I’m terrified of public listening.
  • What’s a public speaker’s favorite kind of fish? The articulate!
  • I told my friend I was giving a speech about a famous chicken. He asked, “Is it poultry in motion?”
  • I was going to make a joke about public speaking, but I figured it would be better in front of a live audience.
  • Why did the scarecrow become a great public speaker? He was outstanding in his field!

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes . Click here for details.

Here Are a Few Public Speaking One-Liners to Get Your Audience Laughing.

You’ll have a much easier time just adding a funny one-liner every now and then. When you tell a joke, you typically have to get your audience to respond. And, in some cases, the audience will finish your joke.

So a well-placed one-liner will often get you a quick chuckle without as much risk. Here are a few that we organized into five different categories.

These One-Liners Are Related to Audience Interaction (Or Audience Reactions.)

Public Speaking One-Liners

  • “I’m not saying I’m a great public speaker, but I did once get a standing ovation… because I tripped over the microphone cord.”
  • “I asked my audience if they had any questions after my speech. One person raised their hand and asked, ‘When does the torture end?'”
  • “Public speaking is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, you’re on fire, everything is on fire, and you’re in hell.”
  • “I used to be afraid of public speaking until I realized every audience is just a bunch of people hoping you don’t notice them.”
  • “I gave a speech on procrastination. The audience is still waiting for the punchline.”

Here Are a Few about Speech Techniques and Styles.

  • “I asked the audience if they knew the definition of a will. Apparently, ‘a dead giveaway’ wasn’t the right answer.”
  • “I don’t have a fear of public speaking; I have a fear of public not listening.”
  • “Why don’t public speakers ever get lost? Because they always find their way to the lectern.”
  • “I used to be a mime, but I couldn’t stay silent about it. Now I’m a public speaker.”
  • “I told the audience I’d be speaking off the cuff. Turns out, my cuff was more interesting than my speech.”

That’s Ironic! One Liners about Humor and Irony in Speech

That's Ironic! One Liners about Humor and Irony in Speech

  • “I used to be a public speaker at a mime convention. Needless to say, my speeches were a big hit.”
  • “I asked the audience if they could define irony. They said, ‘Sure, it’s like goldy and bronzy, but made of iron.'”
  • “Public speaking is a lot like a roller coaster. It’s terrifying, and I always feel like I’m going to lose my lunch.”
  • “I used to be a motivational speaker, but then I lost my train of thought. Now I’m just a ‘meh’-tivational speaker.”
  • “Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the speech? To reach the high points, of course!”

These One-Liners Are about Speech Topics and Delivery.

  • “I told the audience I’m going to talk about time travel. They’re still waiting for my future self to arrive.”
  • “I tried to give a speech on humility, but everyone said I was the best at it.”
  • “Why did the public speaker get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of expertise – corn farming.”
  • “I asked the crowd if they liked my tie. They said, ‘It’s not the tie, it’s what you’re saying that’s knot working.'”
  • “I tried to make a speech about sleep, but I dozed off during my own presentation.”

Funny One-Liners Related to the Challenges of Public Speaking.

  • “I asked the audience for silence during my speech. Apparently, their laughter didn’t get the memo.”
  • (If your audience won’t give you feedback.) “Dialogue is like a parachute – it only works when it’s open.”
  • (If you happen to break wind because of nervousness.) “I’m not a nervous public speaker. I just have a very expressive colon.”
  • “I told my wife I’m writing a book on public speaking. She told me to speak louder.”
  • “Why did the PowerPoint file go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.”

Funny Motivational Quotes Related to Public Speaking.

A really good way to add humor to any speech is to insert a funny quote from a famous person. These funny motivational quotes are very easy to insert. In fact, you can add them to your speech introduction right at the start. That will lighten the tension in the room and get your audience laughing.

Here are a few that always hit home!

Funny Quotes About Preparation and Delivery of Speech.

Funny Quotes About Preparation and Delivery of Speech

  • “The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel
  • “It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain
  • “Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
  • “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” – Winston Churchill
  • “The best way to sound like you know what you’re talking about is to know what you’re talking about.” – Author Unknown

Quotes Related to Adding Humor to Your Speech.

If you are looking for a famous quote specifically about adding humor to a speech, try one of these.

  • “The first time I spoke in the West, the agents and organizers looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God, she’s funny.’ And I thought, ‘Oh, my God, I’ve been funny all my life, but I never knew it.'” – Maya Angelou
  • “If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.” – Bill Gates
  • “I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin
  • “The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven’t thought of yet.” – Ann Landers
  • “I used to be a good communicator, but then I realized I was talking to myself.” – Author Unknown

Here Are a Few Quotes About Creativity and Writing.

Here Are a Few Quotes About Creativity and Writing

  • “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
  • “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” – Steven Wright
  • “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
  • “I don’t need time. What I need is a deadline.” – Duke Ellington
  • “I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid, my father took me to all the historic spots. Every time I refused to get out of the car.” – W.C. Fields

The Funny Quotes Can Help You Make Your Point Better.

Like the last group, these funny quotes aren’t about public speaking. But you will likely be able to use them if you are delivering an informative speech.

  • “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “I have never been in a situation where having a sense of humor and a giving spirit didn’t lead to a better result.” – Ed Catmull
  • “The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.” – Josh Billings
  • “I like to talk about my obsession with food. I love to eat. I’m not a ‘foodie,’ but I do love to eat.” – Miranda Kerr
  • “I failed public speaking in college the first time and made a ‘D’ in the second class. It was horrible.” – John Grisham

These Last Funny Quotes Didn’t Fit the Other Categories. (LOL!)

These last quotes didn’t really fit in any of the other categories. But they are pretty funny. If you can find a way to insert them into your speech, you’re sure to get a laugh or two.

  • “It’s hard to be serious when you’re surrounded by balloons.” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
  • “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Willie Nelson
  • “I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” – Steve Allen

Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers.

Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers

Years ago, I taught a leadership class for his team. And at the start of every session, he stood up in front of the group and told a corny Dad joke. The jokes were cringy. But whether the audience laughed or turned up their nose, they all smiled. Over the next few years, I noticed that Ron’s employee turnover was almost zero. It was unheard of in his industry.

It turns out that his team absolutely loved him. He made a tough job much more fun to come to. So, I changed my tune about Dad jokes. Here are a few that you can use to start your next speech or meeting.

Food Public Speaking Jokes

  • What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
  • Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
  • What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
  • Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
  • What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Science and Technology Jokes.

  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  • I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
  • Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
  • What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

Academic Jokes for a Presentation.

Academic Jokes for a Presentation

  • Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
  • Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  • What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
  • I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Spooky Jokes

  • Why did the skeleton go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  • What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
  • I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
  • What did one hat say to the other hat? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

Miscellaneous Jokes

  • I only know how to make holy water. I boil the hell out of it.
  • Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  • What did the snowman with a six-pack say? An abdominal snowman!

funny end of graduation speech

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funny end of graduation speech

Graduation Speech: Complete Guide & Inspiring Graduation Speech Examples

Ready to toss your caps in the air and bid farewell to the hallowed halls of academia? 

Not so fast…There’s one final thing left to learn about: graduation speeches!

Sure, they might seem like just another routine part of commencement, but graduation speeches are much more than just a formality. 

From tear-jerking tales to laugh-out-loud lessons, the best graduation speeches can be vehicles to share wisdom, life lessons, and unforgettable memories. 

Maybe you’re feeling uncertain about how to craft a graduation speech that people actually want to hear… Or wondering what can turn a good one into a great one…Or, simply looking for inspiration on memorable graduation speech examples. 

Read on to explore all of the above and more in this comprehensive guide on graduation speeches. 

  • What is a graduation speech?
  • What is the purpose of a graduation speech?

What makes a great graduation speech?

  • Steps to Write a Student Graduation Speech [7 Steps]
  • Inspiring Graduation Speech Examples [8 Examples]

What is a graduation speech? 

First things first: Let’s define what a graduation speech is exactly. 

A graduation speech is more than just a ceremonial tradition —it’s a speech that combines a heartfelt send-off, a final farewell, and a celebration of achievement all rolled into one.

These speeches are typically delivered by a selected speaker, such as a notable figure, a faculty member, or a student representative, at the commencement, or graduation ceremony.

But what exactly is the purpose behind these speeches, and why do we place such importance on them?

A graduation speech serves as a symbolic bridge between the academic journey and the adventures that lie ahead. It’s a chance for speakers to reflect on the accomplishments, challenges, and growth experienced by graduates throughout their academic careers. And most importantly, it’s an opportunity to share some wisdom, inspiration, and encouragement as graduates embark on their next chapter.

What is the purpose of a graduation speech? 

The purpose of a graduation speech varies depending on the context and the goals of the speaker. But generally, it serves several key purposes:

Let’s break it down:

  • Celebrate: Graduation is a big deal, right? So, the speech is a way to celebrate all the hard work and sweat equity that graduates have contributed towards their student experience. And its graduation is a huge achievement worth celebrating!
  • Inspire and Motivate: Many graduates feel nervous and apprehensive about what comes next after graduation. As happy as they may be to finally be graduating, many students feel a sense of confusion and discouragement about the future. Graduation speeches are meant to motivate and encourage the graduating class as they wrap up their student experience. It’s all about making them feel inspired as they look towards their future.
  • Reflect: Remember all those fun times you had in school? Even the monotonous and routine hustle of being in school will become times you can look back on, joke about, and reminisce on for the rest of your life. Graduation speeches offer a chance to look back on the graduating class memories and once-in-a-lifetime experience.
  • Bringing Everyone Together: Graduation is a time for friends, family, and teachers to come together and cheer the graduating class on. The speech helps everyone feel connected and proud of what’s been achieved.
  • Closure: Graduation speeches offer closure to the academic journey, providing a symbolic farewell and a sense of completion to graduates as they bid farewell to their alma mater. 
  • Legacy: Graduation speeches leave a lasting legacy for graduates, offering timeless wisdom, inspiration, and guidance that they can carry with them as they embark on their future endeavors. They serve as a reminder of the values, lessons, and aspirations that define the graduate experience and shape the path forward.

Overall, the purpose of a graduation speech is to leave a lasting impact on the audience, imparting valuable insights, encouragement, and inspiration that resonate long after the ceremony has ended.

Great graduation speeches captivate audiences by weaving together universal themes, inspiring messages, and deep reflection to create a memorable and inspiring experience.

So what makes a graduation speech great ? While every speech is unique in itself, there are some common elements that all great speeches have.

Here are some key elements that contribute to a great graduation speech:

  • Authenticity: A great graduation speech is authentic and genuine, reflecting the speaker’s personality, values, and experiences. 
  • Personal Touch: Incorporating personal anecdotes, stories, and reflections adds depth and emotional resonance to a graduation speech. Sharing personal experiences allows the speaker to connect with the audience and make the speech more engaging.
  • Inspiring Message: A great graduation speech delivers an inspiring and uplifting message that motivates graduates to embrace their potential, pursue their passions, and make a difference in the world. The message should be positive, empowering, and filled with hope for the future.
  • Relevance: A great graduation speech is relevant to the occasion and the audience, addressing the unique challenges, triumphs, and experiences shared by graduates. It acknowledges the journey they’ve been on and offers guidance as they embark on the next chapter of their lives.
  • Clear Structure: A well-structured graduation speech flows smoothly from one point to the next, with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
  • Engaging Delivery: A great graduation speech is delivered with passion, energy, and enthusiasm, capturing the attention and interest of the audience from start to finish. 
  • Humor and Wit: Incorporating humor and wit into a graduation speech can lighten the mood, break the ice, and make the speech more enjoyable for the audience. Humorous anecdotes, clever wordplay, and well-timed jokes can add charm to the speech, making it more entertaining.
  • Universal Themes: A great graduation speech explores universal truths that resonate with all graduates, regardless of their background or experiences. It touches on timeless values such as perseverance, resilience, gratitude, and the power of human connection, inspiring graduates to embrace these principles as they navigate life’s challenges.

By incorporating these elements into your own graduation speech, you can create memorable, inspiring, and impactful words that leave a lasting impression on everyone in attendance.

Steps to Write a Student Graduation Speech

Feeling overwhelmed at the thought of writing a graduation speech? That’s normal! 

Even for famous and/or notable figures, writing a commencement or graduation speech can be a nerve-wracking experience.

And while writing a commencement speech may seem like a daunting task, breaking it down into basic steps can make the process more manageable and enjoyable.

Here’s a simple guide to help you craft a memorable and inspiring graduation speech:

Step 1: Understand Your Audience

Before you begin writing your speech, take some time to understand your audience. That is, the graduating class, faculty and staff, and family and friends of everyone involved in the ceremony. 

Consider the demographics of the graduates, their interests, experiences, and the significance of the occasion.

Tailoring your speech to resonate with the audience will make it more relatable and impactful.

Step 2: Choose a Theme or Message

Every great speech has a central theme or message that ties everything together. 

Think about what you want to convey to the graduates—whether it’s words of wisdom, encouragement, or reflections on their journey.

Choose a theme that resonates with the occasion and reflects your personal values and experiences.

Step 3: Brainstorm Ideas and Stories

Once you have a theme in mind, brainstorm ideas, stories, and anecdotes that support your message.

Reflect on your own experiences, lessons learned, and moments of inspiration that you can share with the graduates.

Consider incorporating personal stories, quotes, or examples that illustrate your points and make them more memorable.

Step 4: Create an Outline

Organize your ideas into a clear and coherent outline for your speech.

Start with an introduction that grabs the audience’s attention and introduces your theme. Then, outline the main points you want to cover in the body of the speech. Use supporting stories and examples to illustrate each point.

Finally, conclude your speech with powerful closing remarks that reinforces your message and leaves a lasting impression.

Step 5: Write the Speech

With your outline as a guide, start writing your speech , focusing on clarity, conciseness, and authenticity.

Write in a conversational tone, as if you’re speaking directly to the graduates, and use concise language.

Be sure to include transitions between sections to help the speech flow smoothly and keep the audience engaged.

Step 6: Edit and Revise

Once you’ve written a draft of your speech, take time to edit and revise it for clarity, coherence, and impact.

Cut out any unnecessary or repetitive information, and refine your language to make it more concise and compelling.

Pay attention to pacing, tone, and rhythm, and make sure your speech is well-balanced and engaging from start to finish.

Step 7: Practice, Practice, Practice

Finally, practice delivering your speech aloud multiple times to ensure smooth delivery and confident presentation.

Pay attention to your pacing, timing, hand gestures , and body language, and make adjustments as needed. 

Practicing your speech will help you feel more comfortable and confident on the day of the graduation ceremony.

Here are some tips to help you write a memorable speech:

  • Share Your Journey: Reflect on your time in school, highlighting challenges you overcame, lessons you learned, and accomplishments you achieved.
  • Inspire with Stories: Share inspiring anecdotes or life lessons that have shaped you and can resonate with your peers.
  • Express Gratitude: Thank teachers, family, and friends for their support and guidance throughout your academic journey.
  • Offer Encouragement: Provide motivation and encouragement to your fellow graduates as they embark on their future endeavors.

By following these basic steps and tips, you can write a graduation speech that is memorable and impactful, leaving a lasting impression on graduates and audience members for years to come.

8 Inspiring Graduation Speech Examples

If you’re looking to get inspired or need some examples to work from, check out some of the most memorable graduation speeches delivered by today’s notable figures. 

These speeches showcase how some of the world’s most influential people have delivered impactful messages of change, hard work, success, and life lessons to graduating classes throughout the years.

By incorporating personal stories, motivational quotes, and heartfelt advice, these examples showcase the profound impact a well-crafted speech can have on any audience.

While we’ve only featured eight graduation speech examples here, please note that there are countless other inspiring speeches that you can learn from throughout history. A quick online search will help guide you in the direction of more examples if you don’t find what you’re looking for in this list. 

#1 – Steve Jobs’ Stanford University Graduation Speech (2005)

Jobs’s speech is a classic for a reason. He challenged graduates to “stay hungry, stay foolish,” and to never lose sight of their dreams. 

#2 – Oprah Winfrey’s Harvard University Graduation Speech (2013)

Oprah Winfrey reflects on her own journey to success, emphasizing the importance of finding purpose, serving others, and remaining true to oneself in the face of adversity.

#3 –  Chadwick Boseman’s Howard University Graduation Speech (2018)

The late Chadwick Boseman, shortly before his passing, delivered an inspiring speech about the power of purpose and never giving up on your dreams.

#4 – J.K. Rowling’s Harvard University Graduation Speech (2008)

J.K. Rowling shares insights on the benefits of failure and the importance of imagination, empathy, and resilience in overcoming life’s challenges and achieving success.

#5 – Michelle Obama’s CCNY Graduation Speech (2016)

Michelle Obama reflects on the power of education and the importance of resilience, determination, and hope in overcoming obstacles and achieving one’s dreams.

#6 – David Foster Wallace’s Kenyon College Graduation Speech (2005)

David Foster Wallace’s speech, titled “This is Water,” is a profound meditation on mindfulness and empathy. Wallace delivers a thought-provoking speech about the value of mindfulness, empathy, and perspective in leading a meaningful and fulfilling life.

#7 – Satya Nadella’s University of Chicago Graduation Speech (2018)

The CEO of Microsoft spoke about the future of technology and the need for human-centered innovation. Nadella shares insights on the role of empathy, curiosity, and continuous learning in driving innovation and success in today’s rapidly changing world.

#8 – Ken Burns’ Stanford University Graduation Speech (2016)

The documentarian urged graduates to be curious, to challenge themselves, and to fight for what they believe in.

Learn From Graduation Speech Examples From Notable Figures

As we’ve seen from speeches like the ones listed above, throughout history, famous individuals have delivered impactful speeches that resonate with audiences and offer valuable lessons for graduates.

So how do these notable figures inspire through their speeches?

  • Emphasizing Change: Notable figures often highlight the importance of embracing change and adapting to new beginnings in their speeches.
  • Hard Work and Success: Through personal anecdotes, they stress the significance of hard work and determination in achieving success.
  • Life Lessons: Graduation speeches by renowned figures are filled with insightful life lessons that guide and motivate graduates on their journey ahead.
  • Words of Encouragement: Notable graduation speeches give encouragement, confidence, and hope to the audience as they move ahead.

Throughout this guide, we’ve explored how these speeches are more than just a routine part of commencement—they’re opportunities to share wisdom, life lessons, and unforgettable memories.

Whether you were feeling uncertain about crafting a speech that resonates or curious about the secrets behind turning a good speech into a great one, we’ve covered it all.

As you step onto the stage to deliver your graduation speech, remember the power you hold. Inspire, uplift, and connect us all! 

Here’s to making your mark and leaving a lasting impression as you embark on the next chapter of your journey!

Whether you’re giving a graduation speech or a TEDx talk, this free guide will help expand your reach.

Guide to Creating a Viral TEDx Talk - by Thought-Leader

Check out more great articles from the Thought-Leader Blog covering TEDx Talks, success mindsets, and everything else in between

How to Get a TED Talk

How to prepare a ted talk, how to market yourself effectively, how to become a keynote speaker, how to speak professionally.

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Middle School or Elementary School graduation speech

This page contains a funny sample speech for Middle School or Elementary School graduations for principles, teachers or other key note speakers. The speech template can be customized for graduations from preschool, 8th Grade, Junior High School, clubs, high school or other graduation events as well. This speech is humorous but also talks about dedication and personal commitment. We hope this graduation speech for keynote or guest speakers is helpful.

School graduation speech

Let me begin by welcoming all of you to today’s event and thanking (NAME OF PERSON WHO INTRODUCED YOU) for that kind introduction.

I’m very pleased to have been invited to speak here today on what I know is a very special day. It’s special for the graduates, for their proud parents and grandparents, and for their very relieved teachers. Just wait until these students are graduating college. Then their parents will be the

relieved ones.

As I begin, I have to say, I think the best speeches are those that have a great beginning, a memorable end, and not much in between. I will try then to make a great speech. Today is one of those great occasions when we get to celebrate our young people – their achievements, their perseverance and their successes as they grow up. It’s one of the times you can take a break and reflect, feeling good as a parent or a mentor, knowing that the kids you care about are doing just fine and they’re on the right path.

Graduates, you should know that your moms and dads are very proud of you today. They have high hopes for you, and they believe in you, and you are making them proud by showing what you can do. Take a look at them now, and you can see them smiling and snapping photos so they can record this moment forever. Today is an important day for you and for them. Today they are very, very proud of you. (PAUSE) Today would be a good day to ask for money.

Today would also be a good day to hug them and thank them for supporting you, because as much as this is your achievement, this is also the achievement of the people who care about you. That means your mom, your dad, your step mom or step dad, your grandparents, your sisters and brothers, and all the other people who care about you. They want you to be your best and to live up to your potential.

Graduations can be seen as a coming of age, a sort of official way to recognize when a person steps into the next stage of life, and graduates, you are stepping into a new stage.

With every year, you have become a little more independent. I bet you can still remember your first day here - it might have been exciting and a little intimidating too. I bet when you look at the (INSERT LOWEST GRADE IN SCHOOL HERE, 1ST GRADERS, 6TH GRADERS, ETC) going to class you think, Wow! They look so little! I can't believe I was ever that young! Get used to it. You'll be thinking that for the rest of your life.

But when you she younger students, you can tell how much you've grown up, how much you've learned and how much you've matured. Think back on some of the exciting things that happened this year, all the things you learned. This year, you… (ADD SOME INFO ABOUT THE CLASS OR SCHOOL HERE. TALK TO TEACHERS OR WHOEVER INVITED YOU FOR SOME IDEAS. IT CAN BE FIELD TRIPS, TOPICS STUDENTS LEARNED, ETC. YOU CAN ALSO ADD SOME FAMILY-FRIENDLY HUMOR ABOUT WHAT KIDS LEARNED).

You had some great time this year, and maybe you had some tough times, but you did it and you succeeded. You're ready for that next step. I ask you as you prepare for this next step to do a few things.

First, stop texting your friend about how you wish the speaker would hurry up and finish talking so you could go to (INSERT NAME OF LOCAL PARTY PLACE, MALL OR RESTAURANT POPULAR WITH STUDENTS).

Secondly, I ask you to take this chance to dedicate yourself to making the next year even better. Remember that you don’t have to follow the crowd. Do the right thing, even if no one is looking. Study hard and remember that you're investing in yourself with every test you take and every book you read. And finally, don't be in too big of a hurry to grow up. These are some great times in your life. Don't rush past them.

There are great things coming, and just as your parents are proud, each one of you should feel proud of yourself.

So congratulations to all of the graduates, congratulations to the parents, and finally, congrats to the teachers and everyone else who helped our graduates reach here today.

I'll leave you with this final quote, from a great author with whom I imagine you are all familar, by the name of Dr. Seuss.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go."

Congratulations again, and thank you for your attention.

Did you like this sample speech for Middle School and Elementary School Graduation? We hope you can use it for your speech, whether you are a principle, a teacher or a guest speaker.

Since you were interested in this sample speech about graduations, chances are you will like the following topics as well: High School Graduation speech and Easy Letter of Recommendation template

More information : We hope this page was helpful and provided you with some information about Middle School or Elementary School graduation speech . Check out our main page for more articles here Can U Write .

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210 Funny Graduation Quotes to Keep the Ceremony Lively

funny end of graduation speech

Published: 3 months ago

Graduation is a significant milestone that marks the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new journey. It’s a time of celebration, reflection, and looking towards the future with hope and excitement. Among the ceremonial speeches and the tossing of caps, there’s room for a bit of humor to make the day even more memorable. Funny graduation quotes not only bring smiles but also lighten the atmosphere, making the occasion even more enjoyable. Whether they come from famous comedians, influential thinkers, or the graduates themselves, these witty one-liners and clever quips can keep the ceremony lively and entertaining.

If you’re searching for the perfect funny saying to slip into your speech, or a hilarious line to write in someone’s yearbook, look no further. Here’s an electrifying collection of 210 funny graduation quotes that promise to add that sparkle to any commencement.

The Essence of Graduation Humor

Graduating is no small feat, and amidst all the pomp and circumstance, a dash of humor can be just what the doctor ordered to relieve the anxieties and stress that come with this transitional phase. It’s about celebrating accomplishments with a light heart and a cheerful spirit. Here’s why a little comic relief can go a long way: Related article; best graduation cakes

Laughter: The Best Post-Grad Medicine

  • Laughs reduce stress : Graduation can be stressful, so a good chuckle can alleviate some of that tension.
  • Unity through humor : Shared laughter can bond graduates, families, and teachers.
  • Memorability : A funny moment or quote can make a graduation ceremony stand out.
  • Laughter is memorable : We’re more likely to remember what made us laugh.

Witty One-Liners for the Aspiring Comedian

If you’re someone who naturally finds the lighter side of life, these one-liners are for you. Whether you’re giving a speech or signing yearbooks, here’s a collection of snappy quotes sure to evoke chuckles: Related article; best graduation songs

On Academic Achievement

  • “I finally nailed it and by ‘it,’ I mean my diploma to the wall.”
  • “Graduated and still clueless. Nailed it!”
  • “Some graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.”
  • “I’m like a wizard, except with a diploma instead of a wand.”

On Future Uncertainties

  • “I can’t wait to sleep in for the rest of my life… until Monday.”
  • “Now to follow my dreams. But first, maybe a quick nap.”
  • “Ready to win at life… as soon as I figure out how to play the game.”

Quotes from the Greats

It’s not just about making people laugh; sometimes, the humor comes with wisdom, too. Here are graduation quotes from some of the greats that are the right mix of wisdom and wittiness: Related article; best graduation gifts

From Famous Comedians

  • “As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time, you might wind up in for questioning.” — Jon Stewart
  • “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers

From Renowned Authors

  • “Now that you’ve graduated, just remember: Bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother.” — Melanie White
  • “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers

Humor from the School of Life

Humor keeps us sane and the following quotes embody the chuckles and chortles from real-life experiences post-graduation:

On Entering the Workforce

  • “Time to update my resume to include ‘Master of Taking Tests.’”
  • “Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” — From TV Show ‘Friends’

On Adulting

  • “Adulting is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.”
  • “I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’m sure I can repeat them exactly.”

For the Pop Culture Enthusiast

If you or your friends are all about movies, TV shows, and everything pop-culture, here’s a section dedicated solely to you:

Movie-Inspired Quotes

  • “Just keep swimming.” — Dory, Finding Nemo
  • "Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.” — Forrest Gump

TV Show Quotes

  • “May we stay lost on our way to finding ourselves.” — Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill
  • "How do I balance work and family? I don’t. I’m hanging on by a thread.” — Selina Meyer, Veep

A Touch of Sarcasm and Irony

Sometimes, the best humor is dipped in a little sarcasm and irony. Here’s to the graduates who understand that sometimes you’ve got to laugh so you don’t cry:

On Student Loans

  • “They say money can’t buy happiness; well, it can buy a degree—pretty much the same thing.”
  • “Is there a refund for all the math I never used?”
  • “I was told my GPA is a ‘weighted average’ so I put on some extra pounds for the final semester, just to be safe.”
  • “My GPA is really a suggestion of what I could achieve if I was actually awake.”

Light-Hearted Farewell to School

Goodbye to the classrooms and hello to the new challenges! These quotes bring a sense of nostalgia all while tickling that funny bone:

Saying Goodbye to Classrooms

  • “Now that I’m graduating, I’m so excited to never learn anything ever again.”
  • “They say the best years of your life are in college. Those are the same people that haven’t left college yet.”

On School Memories

  • “Looking back, my time in school was like a cup of coffee. Even though there were some grounds at the end, overall it was pretty hot and stimulating.”
  • “School for 12 years, college for 4 years… then you work until you die. Great.”

Crafting the Perfect Humorous Graduation Speech

Delivering a graduation speech is an honor. If you’re looking to weave humor into your address, consider these tips to keep it lively and memorable:

Use Personal Anecdotes

  • Infuse your speech with personal stories that have a touch of humor.
  • Keep it relatable so that everyone finds it amusing.

Know Your Audience

  • Gauge the sense of humor of your audience before choosing your jokes.
  • Always keep it tasteful and appropriate for the occasion.

Practice Makes Perfect

  • Rehearse your speech to get comfortable with the timing and delivery of jokes.
  • The right pause can make all the difference in landing that punchline.

Conclusion: A Graduation to Remember

Graduation is a time of mixed emotions: pride, nostalgia, excitement, and even a little trepidation about what’s to come. Incorporating humor into the occasion is a wonderful way to celebrate the achievement, to bring people together, and to create memories that last a lifetime. As you prepare to write your speech, sign off on yearbooks, or simply share a laugh with a friend, remember that humor is a precious gift that makes every occasion brighter.

These 210 funny graduation quotes are a treasure trove of chuckles and giggles that can help lighten any graduation ceremony. Use them wisely, and remember, in the words of Dr. Seuss, “You’re off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!” And with a good laugh tucked into your cap, you’re off to an even greater start!

Marilou Harvey, Senior Writer

Marilou Harvey

About the Author Mission Statement Our mission at Marilou Harvey's Writing is to deliver compelling and engaging content that inspires

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115 Graduation Quotes Funny and No So Funny Graduation Quotes for Everyone

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Graduation Quotes Funny - Funny Graduation Quotes for Kids, Teens and Adults

Hey there, grad! It’s me, your friendly neighborhood writer, and I’m here to hook you up with some seriously funny high school graduation quotes funny and not so funny, but priceless nonetheless.

Because let’s face it, after all those late nights, early mornings, and endless hours of studying, you deserve a good laugh. And what better way to celebrate this major milestone than with a few chuckles?

I’ve scoured the internet, dug through dusty old books, and even asked my grandma for her best one-liners to bring you the cream of the crop. These high school graduation quotes are so funny, that they’ll make your cap fly off from laughing so hard. Okay, maybe not literally, but you get the point.

Table Of Contents:

Funny high school graduation quotes funny – quotes to make you laugh, ray magliozzi, muhammad ali, elbert hubbard, erma bombeck, theodore roosevelt, best yearbook quotes for seniors to leave their mark, funny graduation wishes that stick, funny graduation quotes for kids who made it through high school (barely), tips on choosing the perfect funny quote:, funny high school graduation quotes, funny graduation wishes & puns, lily tomlin, neil gaiman, stephen colbert, robert orben, patricia akins, thomas dewar, jon stewart, doug larson, napoleon hill, greg tamblyn, george foreman, sarah brown, arnold schwarzenegger, harry banks, bette reese, vidal sassoon, benjamin franklin, what is a good high school graduation quote, what is the best graduation message, what is a good graduation sentence, what are good quotes for high school seniors.

Ah, high school graduation. The time when you trade in your textbooks for a diploma and your locker for a dorm room. It’s a bittersweet moment, really. On one hand, you’re excited to start a new chapter in your life. But on the other, you’re terrified of what the future holds. Will you make new friends? 

Will you survive college classes? Will you ever figure out how to do your own laundry? These are the questions that keep you up at night. But fear not, my fellow graduates. Because I’ve got some funny graduation quotes that will make you laugh and remind you that you’re not alone in this journey.

Graduation Quotes Funny and Not so Funny By Famous People

Graduating is no small feat, and it’s certainly an occasion that calls for a bit of humor to lighten the mood. Whether you’re a parent looking to add some laughter to your graduate’s big day or a student searching for the perfect funny quote to accompany your cap and gown, we’ve got you covered. At The Beehive Connection , we believe in strengthening families one moment at a time—and sometimes, that means sharing a good laugh together.

Let’s start with a quote from Ray Magliozzi, one-half of the famous duo behind the radio show “Car Talk.” He once said, “ As you prepare to go out into the world, never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ” Truer words have never been spoken. I mean, have you seen the internet lately? It’s a breeding ground for stupidity. But hey, at least you’ll have plenty of material for your stand-up comedy routine.

First up, we have a quote from the incomparable Lily Tomlin. She once said, “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. ” 

Stephen Colbert, the king of political satire, once said, “ If you don’t give up on something you truly believe in, you will find a way. ” This one is a little more serious, but still important. Life is full of obstacles and setbacks. But if you believe in something strongly enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen. Even if that means eating ramen noodles for a year straight.

Last but not least, we have a quote from Patricia Akins. She said, “ All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder. ” This one is a reminder that success doesn’t happen overnight. You have to put in the work and climb that ladder one rung at a time. And if you’re afraid of heights, maybe consider a career in something a little more grounded. So there you have it, folks. Some humorous graduation quotes to inspire and motivate you as you take on the world. Remember, life is too short to take yourself too seriously. Laugh often, dream big, and never give up on yourself.

Next up, we have a quote from the legendary boxer Muhammad Ali. He said, “ The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. ” This one hits home for me. I remember thinking I had it all figured out at 20. I was going to be a millionaire by 30 and retired by 40. Fast forward three decades and I’m only now thinking about retiring. But hey, at least I’ve learned a ton along the way, and I live in gratitude.

Elbert Hubbard, an American writer, once said, “ The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live .” I couldn’t agree more. You can’t just sit around waiting for life to happen to you. You have to go out there and make it happen. Even if that means taking a few risks and falling flat on your face a few times. Trust me, it builds character.

Erma Bombeck, a humorist and columnist, once said, “ When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway. ” This one is for all the moms out there. I know our kids love us, but sometimes our advice can be a little…overwhelming. But they know we mean well. And we promise to give them some space.

Last but not least, we have a quote from the 26th President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt. He said, “ Believe you can and you’re halfway there .” This one is a classic for a reason. Believing in yourself is half the battle. The other half is putting in the work. But if you can do both, there’s nothing you can’t achieve. The real adventure starts now.

Let’s dive into the world of yearbooks – specifically, how seniors can leave their mark with a touch of humor. Let’s face it; graduation is an exciting yet daunting milestone. So why not lighten the mood with some funny yearbook quotes that will make everyone chuckle?

  • “Well, we survived high school… barely. Congrats, fellow survivors!”
  • “Remember when we thought high school was the hardest part? Yeah, me neither.”
  • “Here’s to all the procrastinators: we finally made it… just in time!”
  • “They say ‘time flies when you’re having fun.’ So, where did all the fun go?”
  • “If life gives you lemons, just remember, we made it through high school… we can handle anything!”
  • “To my classmates: Thanks for the memories… and the laughs. Especially the ones we weren’t supposed to have.”
  • “High school: where waking up early was the real test of endurance.”
  • “In the game of life, we just leveled up. Watch out, world!”
  • “To the class that never failed to surprise… even when it meant surprising ourselves.”
  • “Dear classmates, let’s stay in touch so we can laugh about these days when we’re old and senile.”
  • “If high school was a movie, we’d be the quirky side characters. Cheers to us!”
  • “They say ‘the best is yet to come.’ Let’s hope they’re right, because high school was just the warm-up!”
  • “To my fellow graduates: Remember when we used to think five minutes was a long time? Oh, how times have changed.”
  • “High school: the only place where drama was both on stage and off.”
  • “They say ‘it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.’ Well, I’m just glad this journey included all of you crazy people.”
  • “If high school was a sport, we’d definitely be the underdogs. But hey, we made it to the championships!”
  • “Here’s to the friends who became family, the teachers who became therapists, and the cafeteria food that became a mystery.”
  • “Dear classmates, if we can survive group projects, we can survive anything life throws at us.”
  • “To the class that made ‘winging it’ an art form. May we never lose our improvisational skills!”
  • “High school: where we learned algebra, chemistry, and the fine art of pretending to pay attention.”
  • “They say ‘laughter is the best medicine.’ Well, I guess we’re all doctors now!”
  • “To the class that turned ‘awkward’ into an Olympic sport. Gold medals all around!”
  • “Dear classmates, let’s promise to stay weird, stay wild, and most importantly, stay in touch.”
  • “High school: where the lockers were small, but the drama was larger than life.”
  • “Cheers to the moments we’ll never forget and the ones we can’t remember because we were laughing too hard. Here’s to us, Class of [Year]!”

Graduating is serious business but who says you can’t sprinkle in some fun? Imagine flipping through your yearbook decades from now and coming across a quote that still makes you laugh out loud. Here are a few gems:

  • “I finally learned how to spell ‘graduation’ just in time.”
  • “This diploma looks great on my resume…and as a coaster.”
  • “Started from the bottom now we’re slightly above the bottom.”
  • “Congrats on finally escaping the clutches of education! Don’t worry, the real world isn’t as scary as it seems… okay, maybe a little.”
  • “Here’s to you, the newest member of the ‘I Survived High School’ club. Brace yourself, adulthood awaits!”
  • “May your diploma be the key to unlocking doors… and may those doors lead to well-stocked fridges and comfy couches!”
  • “Wishing you a future filled with more success than failed group projects and fewer late-night cram sessions.”
  • “Congrats on graduating! Remember, you’re not just closing a chapter, you’re opening a whole new book… with way more responsibility and significantly less nap time.”
  • “Cheers to the graduate! May your job interviews be short, your paychecks be hefty, and your coffee supply be endless.”
  • “Congratulations! You’ve officially graduated from ‘student’ to ‘potential employee’. Time to update that LinkedIn profile!”
  • “As you step into the real world, just remember: adulthood is just one big game of ‘fake it till you make it’. You got this!”
  • “Here’s to the graduate: may your debts be paid off quicker than it takes to microwave a burrito.”
  • “Congrats on graduating! Remember, life is like a multiple-choice test – sometimes there’s no right answer, but you’ve gotta pick one anyway.”
  • “Wishing you success, happiness, and a job that pays enough to fund your Netflix addiction. You’re gonna need it.”
  • “Congrats on your graduation! Now, onto the next adventure: mastering the art of adulting without adult supervision.”
  • “Here’s to the graduate: may your future be as bright as your phone screen during a boring lecture.”
  • “Congrats on graduating! Remember, life is like a rollercoaster – sometimes you’ll want to scream, sometimes you’ll want to throw up, but it’s always one heck of a ride.”
  • “Wishing you a future filled with more ‘congratulations’ and less ‘I’ll have a venti coffee, please’. Though, let’s be real, you’ll probably need both.”
  • “Congrats on your graduation! May your job interviews be as successful as your last-minute study sessions.”
  • “Here’s to the graduate: may your dreams be bigger than your student loans… and may you find a way to pay them off before your next birthday.”
  • “Congratulations! You’ve officially unlocked the achievement of ‘graduate’. Now, onto the DLC pack called ‘adult responsibilities’!”
  • “Wishing you a future filled with more ‘achievements unlocked’ and fewer ‘software updates required’.”
  • “Congrats on graduating! Remember, life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get, but hopefully, it’s not the one filled with coconut.”

funny graduation wishes for kids, teens and adults

The struggle is real but so are the memories and laughs. If you barely made it through high school, these quotes are for you:

  • “High school was easy. It was like riding a bike. Except the bike was on fire & I was in hell.”
  • “Somehow I managed not to burn down the school or myself – Success!”
  • “Well, I made it through high school… with minimal casualties.
  • “They said ‘reach for the stars,’ but I’m just happy I reached graduation.”
  • “To all the teachers who said I’d never amount to anything: surprise!”
  • “High school: where I learned that ‘winging it’ is a legitimate survival strategy.”
  • “I may not have been at the top of my class, but hey, I made it to the finish line!”
  • “Remember, it’s not about how you start high school, it’s about how you finish… barely.”
  • “High school: where the only thing higher than my GPA was my level of procrastination.”
  • “Here’s to the classmates who made it interesting, the teachers who made it bearable, and the cafeteria food that made it memorable.
  • “I may not have aced every test, but I definitely aced the art of getting by.”
  • “If high school was a marathon, I definitely sprinted the last mile.”
  • “They said ‘the early bird catches the worm,’ but I prefer the ‘last-minute cramming catches the diploma’ approach.”
  • “To all the late nights, early mornings, and countless cups of coffee: thanks for getting me through high school… barely.”
  • “High school: where I discovered that ‘good enough’ is sometimes just ‘good enough’.”
  • “I survived high school like a pro: with a mix of luck, caffeine, and sheer determination.”
  • “High school: where my GPA was as unpredictable as the weather forecast.”
  • “Here’s to the friends who stuck by me, the teachers who believed in me, and the cafeteria cookies that sustained me.”
  • “If high school was a game of survival, I definitely earned my ‘most likely to barely make it’ award.”
  • “To all the haters who said I wouldn’t graduate: look who’s laughing now… barely.”
  • “High school: where I learned that sometimes ‘good enough’ is the best you can do, and that’s okay.”
  • “If high school was a movie, I’d definitely be the lovable underdog character who barely makes it to the end credits.”

funny graduation quotes for kids who barely made it through high school

Funny Graduation Puns To Brighten Your Day

Puns always have a way of bringing smiles no matter what occasion.

  • ‘Orange’ You Glad We’re Finally Done? “
  • ‘ Now that I’ve graduated, watch me “Excel”. ‘

No matter which quote resonates with you or if none do and they simply inspire your own humorous creation, remember this: laughter truly is timeless.

  • Mix Personal Experience With Universal Humor
  • Dig Deep Into Your Favorite Funny Memories From High School Or College
  • Incorporate Inside Jokes That Will Make Your Friends Smile Years Down The Line
  • Leverage Famous Movie Lines But Give Them A Personal Twist
  • “ I finally learned how to spell ‘graduation.’ That deserves a diploma right there. “
  • “ Somehow I managed to stay awake long enough in class to graduate. Thanks, coffee! “
  • “ Now if someone could just tell me how adulting works…? ” – Every Graduate Ever
  • “ Now that I’ve graduated, I’m smart enough to know how little I know .” – Anonymous
  • “ Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors! ” — Louisa May Alcott (slightly twisted)
  • “ I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounced at graduation. ” — Every Best Friend Eve

Funny College Graduation Quotes

  • “ Four years later, and I’m still not sure what ‘office hours’ were supposed to be. “
  • “ Bachelors in Unemployment here I come! ” – The Realist Graduate.
  • “ Thank goodness this isn’t based on merit. ” – The Self-Aware Graduate.
  • “ As we graduate, let’s not forget to thank Google, Wikipedia, and all the other unsung heroes of our college careers . “

If you’re looking for more inspiration or advice on navigating parenting challenges while keeping everyone smiling, check out our blog at The Beehive Connection!

Celebrate your grad’s big day with these hilarious wishes:

  • “ Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life! ” – Reality Check Wisher.
  • “ Here’s hoping your degree is as useful as all those group projects. ” – Group Project Survivor… .. . . . . 
  • “ Hats off (and then thrown up high) because you did it! Just remember: Life is like algebra… sometimes you look at X and wonder Y. ” – Math Pun Lover.

Funny Graduation Quotes Revised from Movies

From the iconic to the downright absurd, our journey through education has been a rollercoaster of emotions, much like the movies themselves. So, let’s kick off this commencement ceremony with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of nostalgia, as we remix some of the most memorable movie quotes to suit the whimsical chaos that is graduation day. After all, if life is a movie, then consider this our blockbuster sequel – “Graduation: The Director’s Cut.”

  • “Don’t take life too seriously; nobody makes it out alive anyway.”– Van Wilder.
  • “Remember, with great power comes great responsibility… and a ton of student loan debt.” – Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker in “Spider-Man” (2002)
  • “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” – Leslie Nielsen as Dr. Rumack in “Airplane!” (1980)
  • “You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do.” – John Belushi as Bluto in “Animal House” (1978)
  • “You’re all gonna die. Just kidding! But seriously, good luck out there.” – John Candy as Del Griffith in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” (1987)
  • “Graduation: where the tassel’s worth the hassle… but the hat hair, not so much.” – Unknown (inspired by “Tassel’s Worth the Hassle” theme)
  • “I’m not a smart man, but I know what graduation is.” – Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in “Forrest Gump” (1994)
  • “Life’s like a box of chocolates – full of surprises, and occasionally makes you feel a little nuts.” – Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in “Forrest Gump” (1994)
  • “Congratulations, graduates! You’ve officially reached the part of your life where you no longer get summer vacations.” – Unknown
  • “From now on, you can call me Dr. Graduates – because I’ve graduated from being just another regular human being.” – Steve Carell as Dr. Gru in “Despicable Me” (2010)
  • “Congrats on graduating! Now, time to trade in the cap and gown for a suit and tie… or sweatpants, your choice.” – Unknown

funny graduation quotes from movies

Humorous Graduation Quotes for Inspiration and Motivation

Graduation is a time for celebration, reflection, and of course, a little bit of humor. After all, what’s the point of all that hard work if you can’t laugh about it? That’s why I’ve compiled some of the most humorous graduation quotes out there. These quotes come from some of the most brilliant minds in history, from comedians to writers to actors. And trust me, they know a thing or two about the ups and downs of life.

Next, we have a quote from the brilliant writer Neil Gaiman. He said, “The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can .” This one is a reminder that you are unique and special in your own way. Don’t try to be someone else. Embrace your quirks and let your freak flag fly. Unless your quirk is collecting toenail clippings. Maybe keep that one to yourself.

Robert Orben, a comedy writer, once said, “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success. ” He’s got a point. It’s a little ironic to tell a bunch of people dressed exactly the same that they need to be individuals. But hey, at least you’ll stand out in your own way when you trip on stage while accepting your diploma.

Witty Graduation Quotes for Instagram Captions and Social Media

Graduation season is upon us, and you know what that means. It’s time to flood your Instagram feed with cap and gown selfies and sappy captions about how much you’ll miss your friends. But why be basic when you can be witty? That’s where these graduation quotes come in. They’re perfect for Instagram captions, tweets, and any other social media platform you can think of.

First up, we have a quote from the bestselling author John Green. He once said, “ Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed. ” This one is for all the parents out there. Congrats, you’ve officially worked yourself out of a job. But don’t worry, you can always become a professional grandparent.

Next, we have a quote from Thomas Dewar, a Scottish whisky distiller. He said, “ Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open. ” This one is a reminder to keep an open mind as you navigate the world. You never know what opportunities might come your way if you’re willing to take a leap of faith.

Jon Stewart, the former host of The Daily Show, once said, “ College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. ” This one is a little more philosophical. College is just one chapter in the book of life. Don’t be afraid to take risks and try new things. You might just surprise yourself.

Doug Larson, a columnist and editor, once said, “ The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. ” This one is a reminder that learning doesn’t stop after graduation. Life is a constant education. Embrace the challenges and keep growing.

Last but not least, we have a quote from Napoleon Hill, an American self-help author. He said, “ Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve .” This one is a classic for a reason. If you can dream it, you can do it. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So there you have it, folks. Some witty graduation quotes funny and not so funny for your Instagram captions and social media posts. Remember, graduation is just the beginning. The real adventure starts now. So go out there and make some memories worth posting about.

Laugh your way through graduation with these hilarious quotes. From the wisdom of Ray Magliozzi to the wit of Lily Tomlin, let these reminders add a dose of humor to your big day and inspire you for what’s ahead. Perfect for speeches, cards, or just a good laugh.

Hilarious Graduation Quotes About the Journey Ahead

Graduation day. The big one. The day you’ve been waiting for since you first stepped foot in those school halls. It’s a day of celebration, reflection, and let’s be real – a whole lot of nerves about what comes next.

But here’s the thing. You’ve made it this far. You’ve survived the late nights, the expensive textbooks, and the endless exams. And now, it’s time to take all those great lessons and experiences and use them to tackle whatever the future holds.

“ My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives. The stories you are about to live are the ones you will be telling your children, grandchildren, and therapists. ” – Greg Tamblyn

Ain’t that the truth. The journey ahead is going to be a wild ride, full of twists and turns you never saw coming. But that’s what makes it so exciting. Embrace the uncertainty and get ready to collect some killer stories along the way.

“ The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me .” – George Foreman

I love this quote. It’s a reminder that the only person who can truly hold you back is yourself. So don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. Chase those dreams with everything you’ve got.

“ Here’s to the nights that turned into mornings, and the friends that turned into family. ” – Sarah Brown

College is a time of late nights, laughter, and lifelong friendships. As you move on to the next chapter, cherish those memories and the people who helped shape them. They’ll be the ones you turn to when adulting gets a little too real.

“ You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. ” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Terminator has spoken. Success takes hard work, dedication, and a willingness to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty. So don’t be afraid to put in the effort. It’ll pay off in the end.

“ The tassel’s worth the hassle. ” – Harry Banks

Truer words have never been spoken. The path to graduation is paved with blood, sweat, and tears. But when you’re standing there in your cap and gown, holding that hard-earned diploma, it’ll all be worth it.

Comical Graduation Quotes for Gifts and Cards

Graduation season is upon us, and you know what that means – it’s time to break out the graduation gifts and heartfelt cards. But let’s be real, sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to express just how proud you are.

That’s where these comical graduation quotes come in. They’re the perfect way to add a little humor to your graduation messages and show your grad that you care. Plus, they pair perfectly with any gift, from the practical to the downright silly.

“ If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. ” – Bette Reese

This one always cracks me up. It’s a reminder that investing in your education is always worth it, even if it means eating ramen noodles for four years straight.

“ The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. ” – Vidal Sassoon

Preach, Vidal. Success takes hard work, plain and simple. So when you’re writing that graduation card, remind your grad that their hard work has paid off and that even bigger things are on the horizon.

“ You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. ” – Jim Carrey

This quote is equal parts hilarious and inspiring. It’s a reminder that life is too short to settle for anything less than what you’re passionate about. So encourage your grad to chase their dreams, no matter how big or small.

“ An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. ” – Benjamin Franklin

Leave it to good old Ben to drop some wisdom. This quote is the perfect addition to any graduation gift, whether it’s a book, a laptop, or a shiny new briefcase. It’s a reminder that the pursuit of knowledge is always a worthy investment.

So there you have it, folks. A roundup of the most hilarious and heartfelt graduation quotes out there. Whether you’re looking for the perfect Instagram caption or just want to make your grad smile, these quotes are sure to do the trick. Now go forth and spread some graduation cheer.

Graduation is a mix of pride, nerves, and excitement for what’s ahead. Use these funny quotes to celebrate the journey, remind grads that hard work pays off, and encourage them to chase their dreams with humor and heart.

FAQs in Relation to High School Graduation Quotes Funny

“The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.” It nails the mix of optimism and the need for sunglasses.

Aim high, stay grounded. Remember, even astronauts had to start with basic training.

Diploma in hand, world at your feet—adventure awaits.

“This diploma proves I can finish what Netflix started—a series with an end.”

Well, there you have it, folks – some of the funniest high school graduation quotes funny to make you laugh, inspire you, and maybe even make you shed a happy tear or two. Because let’s be real, graduating high school is a pretty big deal.

You’ve survived the drama, the homework, and the mystery meat in the cafeteria. You’ve made friends, memories, and maybe even a few enemies. But through it all, you’ve come out on top. And that, my friend, is worth celebrating.

So go ahead, use these quotes in your graduation speech, write them in your yearbook, or just keep them in your back pocket for when you need a good laugh. Because if there’s one thing we could all use more of, it’s laughter. And maybe a few more naps. But mostly laughter.

Congrats, grad. You did it. Now go out there and make the world a funnier place, one high school graduation quote at a time.

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110 graduation quotes to send off the class of 2024 in style

Throwing a cap into the clouds after graduating from university.

Graduations are among life's biggest accomplishments. They speak to hard work , dedication and success.

For the graduate, it's a day well-earned. For friends and loved ones, it's a time to let someone special know that their achievement is recognized and celebrated.

Whether it be a kindergarten , high school or college graduation, honor the grad in your life this year with a thoughtful gift, greeting card or one of these inspirational graduation quotes.

In recognition of commencements of every kind, we’ve gathered a list of the best graduation quotes to post on Instagram , send via text or jot down in a heartfelt note.

To help you find exactly the right words, we've put together a comprehensive collection of sayings from notable figures including Eleanor Roosevelt, Maya Angelou , Mahatma Gandhi, Helen Keller and other luminaries.

You'll find short quotes, funny quotes from the likes of Steve Martin, Tina Fey and Robin Williams, and time-honored quotes from the treasured Dr. Seuss book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”

Whatever message you’re searching for to celebrate someone special, you’re sure to find it in the compilation below.

So, without any further pomp and circumstance, here are the best graduation quotes to help you say "hat's off" to the class of 2024.

Best graduation quotes

Graduation Quotes

  • “A bright future beckons. The onus is on us, through hard work, honesty and integrity, to reach for the stars.” — Nelson Mandela
  • “Your talent determines what you can do. Your motivation determines how much you are willing to do. Your attitude determines how well you do it.” — Lou Holtz
  • “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” — Norman Vincent Peale
  • “Life loves to be taken by the lapel and be told, ‘I am with you kid. Let’s go!’” Maya Angelou

Graduation Quotes

  • “Set your course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship.” ― Omar N. Bradley
  • “I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.” — Estée Lauder
  • “You change the world by being yourself.” — Yoko Ono
  • “Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.” — Theodore Roosevelt
  • “You get whatever accomplishment you are willing to declare.” ― Georgia O’Keeffe

Graduation Quotes

  • “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality.” — Malala Yousafzai
  • "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." — Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get.” ― W.P. Kinsella

Graduation Quotes

  • “It is not where you start but how high you aim that matters for success.” — Nelson Mandela
  • "The love of learning, the sequestered nooks, And all the sweet serenity of books." ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • “Am I good enough? Yes, I am.” ― Michelle Obama, “Becoming”
  • “The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.” — Tony Robbins
  • “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” — Helen Keller

Graduation Quotes

  • “When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” — Carol Burnett
  • “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible!’” ― Audrey Hepburn
  • "I scorched the earth with my talent and I let my light shine.” — André Leon Talley
  • “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure.” — Colin Powell
  • “I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am, I am, I am.” — Sylvia Plath, “The Bell Jar”

Graduation Quotes

  • “Be the best of whatever you are.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “Forever is composed of nows.” — Emily Dickinson
  • “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” — Steve Jobs
  • “To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” ― Henri Bergson
  • “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.” ― John Lennon, "Imagine"

Graduation Quotes

  • “A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere.” — Joyce Meyer
  • “Passion first and everything will fall into place.” — Holly Holm
  • “You’re off to great places. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So ... get on your way.” — Dr. Seuss, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”
  • “The beginning is always today.” — Mary Shelley
  • “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.” — Oprah Winfrey
  • “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” — A.A. Milne, “Winnie the Pooh”

Short graduation quotes

Graduation Quotes

  • “Celebrate endings — for they precede new beginnings.” — Jonathan Lockwood Huie
  • “There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” — Mahatma Gandhi
  • “The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory.” — Les Brown
  • “A star is a rock that never gave up on its dream to rise.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo
  • “Success is loving life and daring to live it.” ― Maya Angelou

Graduation Quotes

  • “Your education is a dress rehearsal for a life that is yours to lead.” — Nora Ephron
  • “Through discipline comes freedom.” — Aristotle
  • “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” ― Robert Collier
  • “What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” — Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” ― John D. Rockefeller

Graduation Quotes

  • “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, ‘I’m possible!’” — Audrey Hepburn
  • “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” — Steve Martin
  • “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” — Neale Donald Walsch
  • “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” — Mark Twain
  • “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” — Nelson Mandela

Graduation Quotes

  • “Success is not the absence of failure; it’s the persistence through failure.” — Aisha Tyler
  • “Accept no one’s definition of your life. Define yourself.” ― Harvey Fierstein
  • “Today’s accomplishments were yesterday’s impossibilities.” — Robert H. Schuller
  • “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Your education has prepared you for what lies ahead.” — Conan O’Brien, 2020 Harvard commencement

Graduation Quotes

  • “What we learn with pleasure we never forget.” — Alfred Mercier
  • “The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” — Arthur C. Clarke
  • “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.” — Jimmy Dugan, “A League of Their Own”
  • “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” — Lao Tzu

Graduation Quotes

  • “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
  • “Persistence is the most powerful force on earth, it can move mountains.” — Albert Einstein
  • “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” — Helen Keller

Funny graduation quotes

  • “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” — Albert Einstein
  • “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” — Ferris Bueller, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”
  • “I look to the future because that is where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.” — George Burns
  • “Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.” — Lucy Van Pelt, “Peanuts”

Graduation Quotes

  • “People don’t turn down money. It’s what separates us from the animals.” — Jerry Seinfeld
  • “When all else fails, there’s always delusion.” — Conan O’Brien
  • “Summer vacation does kind of set up an adulthood of disappointment. That first job, you’re like, ‘I have to go to work in July? What is this, Russia?’”— Jim Gaffigan, “Cinco”
  • “Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.”  —Paula Poundstone
  • “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa

Graduation Quotes

  • “Do not take life too seriously — you will never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard
  • “You’re only given a little spark of madness, you mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
  • “You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the water slide overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.”   — Tina Fey
  • “All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.” — Jane Wagner
  • “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright
  • “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path; then, by all means, you should follow that path.” — Ellen Degeneres
  • “You’re still here? It’s over. Go home. Go.” — Ferris Bueller, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”

Graduation Quotes

Inspirational graduation quotes

  • “All dreams are within reach. All you have to do is keep moving towards them.” — Viola Davis
  • “That’s a great motto for all of us — find somebody to be successful for. Raise their hopes. Rise to their needs.” — Barack Obama, Arizona State University commencement speech 2009
  • “Look back on the journey that brought you here. What moments challenged you most? When were you asked to step outside of your familiar territory in order to rise to the occasion of your potential? I want you to remember those moments because they will embolden you.” — Kerry Washington, George Washington University commencement speech 2013

Graduation Quotes

  • “Just because you don’t know what you want yet, it doesn’t mean that there’s nothing to want.” — Emily Henry, “The Love That Split the Wind”
  • “You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.” — Brigham Young
  • “You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.” — Dr. Seuss, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”
  • “Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a better person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in.” — Martin Luther King, March for Integrated Schools
  •  “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” — Dr. Seuss, “Happy Birthday to You!”

Graduation Quotes

  • “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go...” — Dr. Seuss, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”
  • “A great accomplishment shouldn’t be the end of the road, just the starting point for the next leap forward.” — Harvey Mackay
  • “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” — Henry David Thoreau, “Walden”
  • “It is you, the young and fearless at heart, the most diverse and educated generation in our history, who the nation is waiting to follow.” — Barack Obama, Selma Anniversary speech 2015

Graduation Quotes

  • “It’s opener, out there, in the wide, open air.” ― Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the Places You’ll Go!"
  • “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ― Dr. Seuss
  • “Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.” — Malcolm X
  • “Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!” ― Dr. Seuss, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”
  • “It is our failure to become of perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.” — Conan O’Brien, 2011 Dartmouth College commencement address

Graduation Quotes

  • “Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” — Bill Bradley
  • “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” — Ray Goforth
  • “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” — Walt Disney
  • “Becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.” — Michelle Obama, “Becoming”
  • “I am a firm believer that you don’t achieve greatness on your own. There is always someone there to lend a hand.” — Greg Louganis

Graduation Quotes

Graduation quotes inspired by song lyrics

  • “Tonight / We are young /So, let’s set the world on fire / We can burn brighter than the sun.” — Fun, “We Are Young”
  • “I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly / I’ll do what it takes ‘til I touch the sky / And I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway.” — Kelly Clarkson, “Breakaway”
  • “And I’ll be gone, gone tonight / The ground beneath my feet is open wide.” — One Direction, “Story of My Life’

Graduation Quotes

  • “You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine / Just own the night, like the Fourth of July.” — Katy Perry, “Firework”
  • “It’s something unpredictable, but in the end, it’s right / I hope you had the time of your life.” — Green Day, “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”
  • “Ain’t about how fast I get there / Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side / It’s the climb.” — Miley Cyrus, “The Climb”
  • “I am unwritten / Can’t read my mind / I’m undefined / I’m just beginning / The pen’s in my hand / Ending unplanned.” —Natasha Bedingfield, “Unwritten”

Graduation Quotes

  • “As we go on, we remember / All the times we had together / And as our lives change / Come whatever / We will still be friends forever.” — Vitamin C, “Graduation (Friends Forever)
  • “I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance / Never settle for the path of least resistance.” — Lee Ann Womack, “I Hope You Dance”
  • “School’s out for summer / School’s out forever.” — Alice Cooper, “School’s Out”

Graduation Quotes

Sarah is a lifestyle and entertainment reporter for TODAY who covers holidays, celebrities and everything in between.

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Roger Federer Just Gave the Best Graduation Speech I've Ever Heard. He Summed It All Up in Just 14 Words

In his commencement speech for the 2024 graduating class of dartmouth college, tennis great roger federer gives a master class in emotional intelligence..

The Match in Africa: Roger Federer v Rafael Nadal

Roger Federer is going viral.

This time, it's not for a tennis victory. Rather, it's for his remarkable commencement address, which he delivered on Sunday to the 2024 graduating class of Dartmouth College.

Federer's speech is an amazing case study in emotional intelligent speaking: It's funny, motivating, inspiring. It's emotionally moving. And most important, it has valuable takeaways--not just for graduates, but for anyone trying to succeed at life.

If you have 20 minutes, I highly recommend you listen to the speech in its entirety. But Federer himself summed up the speech in three main points and 14 words:

Effortless is a myth.

It's only a point.

Life is bigger than the court.

Let's analyze each point, and see how you can apply them to your life and business. (If you find value in this article, you might be interested in my  free emotional intelligence course , which delivers a new rule directly to your inbox every day for a week.)

Effortless is a myth

Federer said he would often become frustrated when he heard others say his play was "effortless."

"The truth is I had to work very hard to make it look easy," Federer said. "I got that reputation because my warmups at the tournaments were so casual that people didn't think I'd been training hard. But I had been training hard, before the tournament when no one was watching."

Federer went on to explain how hard work is the foundation of confidence and success, not only in tennis, but in life. Talent is not just a gift, he said; it's also grit. Discipline, patience, trust in yourself, loving the process, managing your life--all of this is part of talent, and everyone has to work at developing these abilities.

I can definitely attest to the wisdom of these words. For years, I've studied the lives and habits of elite athletes, teams, coaches, and business leaders. I've discovered two things along the way:

1. Nothing is ever as easy as it looks.

2. When it comes to reaching your goals, it's extremely helpful to know ahead of time the scope of practice and effort needed to become great at something.

For example, I remember a great story Amazon founder Jeff Bezos told about how long it takes to learn to do a handstand. Most people think it takes two weeks. In reality, it takes closer to six months. 

You can apply that principle to almost anything: learning a sport or an instrument, building a successful business, even writing a great email.

"From this day forward, some people are going to assume that because you graduated from Dartmouth, it all is going to come easy for you," Federer continued.

"And you know what? Let them believe that--as long as you don't."

It's only a point

Federer's next point is an especially insightful one.

He explains that in the 1,526 singles matches he played in his career, he won almost 80 percent of those matches. However, he won only 54 percent of points in those matches.

"In other words, even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play," Federer continued. "When you lose every second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You teach yourself to think, 'It's only a point.' "

In the game of life, Federer explained, you will lose "points," over and over. But this mindset helps you overcome self-doubt and negative energy. It frees you to fully commit to what comes next with intensity, clarity, and focus.

Over and over again, I've seen successful people make this same point. NBA superstar Stephen Curry. Tennis great Novak Djokovic. Shark Tank investor Barbara Corcoran.

"You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments," said Federer. "That is, to me, the sign of a champion, the best in the world. And, not the best because they win every point. It's because they know they'll lose again and again, and have learned how to deal with it.

"You move on, be relentless, adapt, and grow."

Life is bigger than the court

Federer next related how important it was for him to have a life beyond tennis. He wanted a rewarding life full of travel, culture, friendships, and family, all the while never forgetting where he came from.

Federer also wanted to serve others. It's why he began a foundation at the age of 22 to help provide education to people in countries with fewer resources. At that age, Federer explained, he didn't feel ready for anything other than tennis. But motivated by his mother, he took a chance and figured it out.

And while Federer says tennis provided so many memories, his off-court experiences have been just as impactful.

"Tennis, like life, is a team sport," Federer continues. "Yes, you stand alone on your side of the net, but your success depends on your team, your coaches, your teammates, even your rivals. All these influences help you to make you who you are."

Federer then credited his parents, his wife, and his four children for encouraging him, supporting him, and bringing joy to his life.

"Graduates, I know the same is true for you, your parents, your families," Federer continued. "They made the sacrifices to get you here, and they have shared your triumphs and your struggles. They will always, always be in your corner ... The friends who have pushed you and supported you to become the best versions of yourself."

This is so true. As the famous poet John Donne wrote, "No man is an island."

Recognizing that can not only help you get the emotional support you need when times get rough, it will make the victories more sweet, too.

Federer went on to sum up his entire speech, repeating those 14 key words:

A true master class in emotional intelligence--and the best graduation speech I've ever heard.

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Roger Federer’s Dartmouth Graduation Speech Went Viral For All the Right Reasons

Madison williams | jun 10, 2024.

Tennis legend Roger Federer gives a speech at Dartmouth University's graduation.

Roger Federer delivered an already iconic graduation speech at Dartmouth University over the weekend, inspiring more than just the students sitting in the audience.

He opened the speech noting how coincidental it was that Dartmouth's colors are green since "grass is my favorite surface." Federer, of course, was nodding to his eight Wimbledon titles.

The 20-time Grand Slam champion admitted that he didn't even finish high school, let alone attend college, because of his tennis career. He reeled the students in with his comparisons to their current position as graduates to his current lifestyle as a retired tennis player. Federer retired after the 2022 Laver Cup.

"So I never went to college... but I did graduate recently. I graduated tennis," Federer said. "I know the word is 'retire.' 'Roger Federer retired from tennis.' Retired... The word is awful. You wouldn’t say you retired from college, right? Sounds terrible.

"Like you, I’ve finished one big thing and I’m moving on to the next. Like you, I’m figuring out what that is. Graduates, I feel your pain. I know what it’s like when people keep asking what your plan is for the rest of your life. They ask me: 'Now that you are not a professional tennis player, what do you do?' I don’t know… and it’s O.K. not to know."

Federer's core of his speech, though, was focused on three tennis lessons: "Effortless" is a myth, it's only a point and life is bigger than the court.

The second lesson, "it's only a point," specifically stood out to audiences watching the speech online as Federer made some interesting observations about his tennis career. For instance, he revealed that in his career, he won 80% of his matches but only won 54% of the points he played.

"When you’re playing a point, it is the most important thing in the world. But when it’s behind you, it’s behind you," Federer said. "This mindset is really crucial, because it frees you to fully commit to the next point… and the next one after that… with intensity, clarity and focus. The truth is, whatever game you play in life... sometimes you’re going to lose. A point, a match, a season, a job... it’s a roller coaster, with many ups and downs. And it’s natural, when you’re down, to doubt yourself. To feel sorry for yourself. And by the way, your opponents have self-doubt, too. Don’t ever forget that. But negative energy is wasted energy. You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments. That to me is the sign of a champion."

“When you’re playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. But when it’s behind you—it’s behind you. This frees you to fully commit to the next point with intensity, clarity, & focus. Negative energy is wasted energy.” #Federer #Dartmouth #Commencement pic.twitter.com/pR9KHeZf9d — Kimberley Tait (@TheLadyGatsby) June 9, 2024

Federer couldn't help but give an actual tennis tip to end his speech, too, as he demonstrated how to better your forehand. This sparked some laughter in the crowd.

Check out Federer's full speech below.

Roger Federer’s Commencement Address at Dartmouth yesterday might be the best speech he’s ever given. Amazingly articulate, funny, full of wisdom. Made me laugh and tear up. I’m so very proud to have had him as my idol for the past two decades. If you have 25 minutes to spare… pic.twitter.com/qfd9io9kzV — Bastien Fachan (@BastienFachan) June 10, 2024

Madison Williams

MADISON WILLIAMS

Madison Williams is a Staff Writer on the Breaking & Trending News Team at Sports Illustrated, where she has covered the entire sports landscape since 2022. She specializes in tennis, but covers a wide range of sports from a national perspective. Before joining Sports Illustrated, Madison worked with The Sporting News. She hails from Augustana College and completed a Master’s in Sports Media at Northwestern University. Madison is a dog mom and an avid reader.

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Post-Tribune | From the Farm: Great nephew’s graduation and…

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Post-tribune | from the farm: great nephew’s graduation and achievements a reason to celebrate.

Columnist Phil Potempa, far right, joins his oldest brother Tom in congratulating great-nephew Connor, center, and his mom Bethany, left, following the June 2, 2024, Sunday outdoor graduation commencement exercises at the North Judson-San Pierre High School football field. (Family photo/provided)

When adding a dose of humor to a public presentation or funny story or clever anecdote, there’s the added risk of the comedy attempt not connecting with the audience.

I attended my great-nephew Connor’s high school graduation on June 2 at my hometown North Judson-San Pierre High School where I graduated in 1988.

Connor, the son of my niece Bethany (daughter of my oldest brother Tom), had the added distinction of being named salutatorian for his class of 2024, and, therefore, found himself behind the podium on our North Judson Bluejay’s football field during the outdoor graduation ceremony delivering a five-minute speech.

Seated next to my brother Tom, it was an early Father’s Day gift to celebrate Connor’s honors and achievements this month, an equal sentiment for Connor’s parents Bethany and husband Craig, and the rest of the family.

I taught courses in public speaking at both Purdue Northwest and Valparaiso University for two decades, so I was eager to hear Connor’s speech, which not only succeeded but exceeded expectations. His moments of humor resonated with his classmates and the friends, family and faculty gathered in the bleacher seating.

During my senior year in high school year, I delivered a speech at graduation since I was the president of our student council, as it remained a long-standing tradition at our high school that the senior class president delivers the commencement “welcome” speech and the student body president deliver a “farewell” speech.

A dozen years later, I was invited back and was once again behind the graduation day podium for the class of 2000, as the featured commencement guest speaker.

For that speech, nearly a quarter of a century ago, I had already spent my first career decade in a newsroom as a journalist, so I surprised the graduating class that year by placing official “reporter’s spiral notebooks” under the chairs of each graduate.

During my speech, I told the graduating seniors they would notice that these notebooks were “blank” because “their story had yet to be written,” citing this fact as an exciting and promising glimpse into their future and the possibilities that awaited them.

I also presented Connor with a reporter’s notebook following his commencement exercises, symbolic for the same reasons.

Connor, like his older brother Caden, class of 2019, has an exciting college stretch ahead and is already planning for career options.

Both brothers are hardworking.

As I wrote in an August 2020 column, Caden spent his summers working at our small-town Melody Drive-In movie theater at Bass Lake, a job brother Connor also slipped into in recent years.

Connor also excels as an athlete, having balanced his high school years with over-achieving team accolades in football, basketball and baseball, as well as prom and homecoming crowning moments, voted as royalty, in addition to his four years elected to the student council and his honor society affiliation.

He received a full scholarship as a Lily Scholar to Purdue University at West Lafayette to study engineering with the bonus of a guaranteed internship with Eli Lily in Indianapolis.

Last Sunday, June 9, Connor became the first athlete from our high school to receive the Pat Mackey Courage Award at an awards banquet at the main campus at Purdue, the result of a glowing nomination from his football coach and principal.

I asked my niece Bethany to share with readers one of Connor’s favorite recipes from her family dinner menus.

Bethany, class of 1996, is a teacher at our alma mater high school, where her dad Tom was a graduate of the class of 1975.

Bethany has a busy schedule and likes slow cooker recipes, especially during the soaring temperatures of summer heat. Her “Olive Garden Inspired” Slow Cooker Italian Chicken recipe is a Connor and family favorite, flavorful and fast to prep. It is especially delicious served with tender penne pasta.

Columnist Philip Potempa has published four cookbooks and is the director of marketing at Theatre at the Center. He can be reached at [email protected] or mail your questions: From the Farm, PO Box 68, San Pierre, Ind. 46374.

“Olive Garden Inspired” Slower Cooker Italian Chicken

Makes 8 servings

2 pounds boneless skinless chicken breast

1 bottle (16 ounce) Italian dressing

1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1 package (8 ounce) cream cheese

Directions:

1.       Layer chicken breasts in the slow cooker.

2.       Pour Italian dressing over the chicken and sprinkle with the parmesan cheese and black pepper.

3.       Place cream cheese on top.

4.       Place lid on the slow cooker and cook on high for 4 hours or low setting for 5-6 hours.

5.       Once cooking time is complete, chicken can be shredded, and if desired, follow package directions to cook a 16 ounce box of penne pasta to add to chicken and sauce in slow cooker.

6.       Serve chicken warm garnished with more parmesan cheese.

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  • Free Speech

Graduation Speakers on Democracy, Free College and Being a “Weird Person”

From Ken Burns to children’s YouTuber Ms. Rachel, commencement speakers tapped into the hopes, fears and quirks of the class of 2024.

By  Johanna Alonso

You have / 5 articles left. Sign up for a free account or log in.

John Legend is pictured on the big screen in graduation regalia as he speaks to Loyola Marymount University students.

Graduating Loyola Marymount University students watched John Legend speak about ongoing crises around the world.

Tommaso Boddi / Getty Images

It’s been a tumultuous graduation season, marked by cancelled speeches, relocated ceremonies, walkouts and protests, and, of course, a few controversies. At Ohio State University, entrepreneur Chris Pan delivered a speech that he later said he had written while on ayahuasca , while Harrison Butker, a professional football player, delivered a highly controversial speech to Benedictine College graduates, condemning COVID-19 lockdowns, the LGBTQ+ community, abortion and more.

But other speakers used the platform to address pressing issues in higher education, the world that today’s graduates are entering and other topics important to Generation Z.

On Democracy and Civic Duty

“There is no real choice this November. There is only the perpetuation, however flawed and feeble you might perceive it, of our fragile 249-year-old experiment or the entropy that will engulf and destroy us if we take the other route. When, as Mercy Otis Warren [an 18th century writer and activist] would say, ‘The checks of conscience are thrown aside and a deformed picture of the soul is revealed.’ The presumptive Republican nominee is the opioid of all opioids, an easy cure for what some believe is the solution to our myriad pains and problems, when, in fact, with him, you end up re-enslaved with an even bigger problem, a worse affliction and addiction, ‘a bigger delusion,’ James Baldwin would say, the author and finisher of our national existence, our national suicide as Mr. Lincoln prophesies. Do not be seduced by easy equalization. There is nothing equal about this equation. We are at an existential crossroads in our political and civic lives. This is a choice that could not be clearer.

“Choose honor over hypocrisy, virtue over vulgarity, discipline over dissipation, character over cleverness, sacrifice over self-indulgence. Do not lose your enthusiasm; in its Greek etymology the word enthusiasm means simply, ‘god in us.’ Serve your country. Insist that we fight the right wars. Denounce oppression everywhere. Convince your government, as Lincoln understood, that the real threat always and still comes from within this favored land. Insist that we support science and the arts, especially the arts. They have nothing to do with the actual defense of our country; they just make our country worth defending. Remember what Louis Brandeis said, ‘The most important political office is that of the private citizen.’ Vote. Please, vote. You indelibly underscore your citizenship, and most important, our kinship with each other when you do. Good luck and godspeed.”

— Ken Burns , documentarian, May 19 at Brandeis University

“In 2023, the global democracy index fell to its lowest level ever. Today, 71 percent of the world lives under autocratic rule. We are electing illiberal leaders democratically. And once in power, these autocrats not only crush institutions in their countries, but form alliances and create Kleptocracy, Inc. This is your challenge. It is our challenge.

“And Harvard played a role in getting us here. Seven years ago, Mark Zuckerberg stood at this podium, finally got his degree, and said that his life’s purpose was to connect the whole world. Move fast, break things, Facebook said. Well, it broke democracy. In my book How to Stand Up to a Dictator , we were fighting two, not just Rodrigo Duterte in the Philippines—he’s one man who crushed institutions—but even more powerful was Mark Zuckerberg, because he, along with tech bros, are controlling the world.

“I will shut up. Enough, right?

“Because let me bring it to you. The battle to regain trust begins now. With all of you. Harvard says it educates the ‘future leaders’ of the world. Well, if you future leaders don’t fight for democracy right now, there will be little left for you to lead.”

— Maria Ressa , investigative journalist, May 23 at Harvard University

On Lessons From History

“When we look back in time, we can see that the founding generation got some things right … They got some things right, but they didn’t get everything right. They said things like, ‘All men are created equal,’ and then, you know from the Hamilton play that one of the Schuyler sisters said, ‘Now, when I see this Jefferson, I’m going to get him to include women, too.’ They got some things right, but they had no idea that a woman could be the president of the College of William & Mary in Virginia. They got many things right, but they had no idea that a person of color could be the president of the United States of America. They got a whole lot of things right, but they never thought that a member of the native tribes of America could be in the cabinet of a president of the United States and run a powerful office of government. They didn’t get it all right.

“And so what I want to say to you is that when you deal with history, what I want you to do is not be overawed by it. Don’t be hamstrung by it. Don’t be worshipful of history. Look at it. Learn from it. Take the best that they had and build the better world that we are called upon to do. And that’s what I'm going to depend on you to do.”

— John Charles Thomas , former Justice of the Supreme Court of Virginia, May 20 at William & Mary

On Speaking and Listening

“Universities have a responsibility to ensure they maintain an environment in which all students can thrive and learn, but it’s not their job to protect students from hearing or engaging with upsetting or even hurtful ideas. In fact, it’s the universities’ job to prepare the leaders of tomorrow by exposing them to challenging worldviews, competing analyses. The leaders of tomorrow—you, the Class of 2024—need to be comfortable with the contestation of facts and the clash of ideologies.

“Sometimes this is a hard line to walk. As passionately as students care, free speech is not a license for violence, property destruction, or physical intimidation or harassment of other students. And as worried as administrators are, they must respect their students’ free speech rights and honor the long and important tradition of student campus activism.

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“Class of 2024, you are graduating at a challenging moment. No one would blame you if you wanted to reconsider your career in leadership and public service right now. But I’m guessing that’s not going to happen. You are New York City tough. You are City College trained. You follow in the footsteps of [Felix] Frankfurter, [Faith] Ringgold, [Herb] Sandler and [Colin] Powell. You are meant for more. Much has been given to you and even greater things are expected from you.”

— Anthony D. Romero , executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union, May 30 at The City College of New York’s Colin Powell School for Civic and Global Leadership

“How do we engage with complexity? We do it by listening with more humility. Listening with more curiosity. Listening with more intentionality. Listening with more empathy. After all, with the freedom of speech comes the responsibility to give a full and fair hearing.

“We engage with complexity by recognizing that in a multiracial, multiethnic, pluralist democracy, we are going to disagree. That’s inevitable. The noise and the mess are features, not bugs. At the same time, though, diversity and difference need not be synonymous with intractable division. Even when we disagree, we have no choice but to find ways to tolerate each other, to respect each other, to live with each other.

“We might start with the assumption that, for the most part, most of the time, most people are operating in good faith. So we can extend grace to them—and the benefit of the doubt. We might acknowledge that we each are bringing our own histories and experiences and biases to our perceptions—our own legitimate fears and anxieties.

“And then we might—each of us—try to see the world through one another’s eyes: To do the really hard thing—to genuinely honor one another’s humanity, even when we disagree—because we all are someone’s child, or sibling, or friend.”

— John Legend , musician, May 4 at Loyola Marymount University

On the Value of Community College

“I teach at a community college for the same reason students go to community colleges. They’re flexible and meet people where they are. And, as my husband, President Biden, says, they provide the ‘best career training in America.’

“Community colleges should be free. This community knows that. From shipyards to steel mills to health care centers, there are jobs here that need workers with the training to fill them. And when people told you that this city is too small or it will be too hard to start a new school, you fought for one anyway, because Erie doesn’t do ‘can’t.’ And four years ago, with the pandemic raging, before classes had started or students had enrolled, I joined leaders here—some of whom are with us today—to talk about the promise ahead. I told you that community colleges change lives. And graduates, you have made that promise real one paper, one project, one credit—one job offer—at a time.”

— Jill Biden , first lady of the United States of America, June 1 at Erie Community College

On Embracing Your Quirkiness

“When I was growing up, shame and fear was all around me. We had to dress a certain way, we had to laugh a certain way. It was always, ‘Just be normal, Jennifer, just be normal.’ And I heard that so many times, and not being normal, that felt painful. But, Class of 2024, don’t run from yourself like I did. You’ll lose decades; I promise you, I did. Instead, choose radical self-acceptance and compassion. It sounds so simple, and it is, but it’s so hard to act on. It takes bravery that you don’t believe you have, but you do.

“I stand before you as a weird person. Get to know yourself, accept who you are, and love that person because, this is the moment. You already are everything you need to be.”

— Jennifer Coolidge , actress, May 13 at Washington University in St. Louis

“Recently, I was reading about an event I’d be attending and I saw that there would be an early childhood education expert there. I was really looking forward to meeting them and gaining insights from their wealth of knowledge. As I read more about the event, I suddenly realized the early childhood expert that was attending the event was me. That led to panic and the feeling that I had tricked people into thinking I knew stuff. I definitely have impostor syndrome. I have it right now. I’m kind of freaking out.

“A lot of us have thoughts, like that: You're not good enough. You should shrink and not take up space. Remember how you didn’t make it into the gifted and talented program in second grade? I’m still bitter about that.

“When I attended Steinhardt, I felt hopeful about making a difference as a public school music teacher. But I also felt like I was way behind my peers. I was the oldest in the program … Back [in] high school, I wasn’t a great student. I only got into one college, which made the choice of where to go very easy.

“I failed a lot, but I kept showing up until I found my calling. You don’t have to be the smartest, the coolest—I’m really dorky—have the most connections. It’s the people who keep showing up and taking action that make a difference. Keep showing up and believe that it’s possible to build something beautiful where there has been destruction. Believe that you can help where it seems hopeless.”

— Rachel Griffin-Accurso , online children’s entertainer known as ‘Ms. Rachel,’ May 16 at New York University’s Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development

On Missing Commencement

“I thought I was too cool to go through [my] commencement ceremony, and I thought I couldn’t afford, like, $80 for the gown or whatever. So I went to my friend Brian Zinda’s house to watch a basketball game. So for the past three decades, whenever I talk about this—because it’ll come up, especially if you’re going to give a speech at a college—people will ask you, ‘What do you remember about yours?’

“I always explain that the reason I have this vivid memory is because in this basketball game, which I think was March 15, 1994, this player named Kevin Johnson—who would later become the mayor of Sacramento—he had this amazing dunk over Hakeem Olajuwon on the left baseline where he came in and dunked over him.

“You can find it on YouTube; it’s sort of like the defining moment in this guy’s career. So whenever I can tell this anecdote, I always mention, ‘Oh, I didn’t go to my graduation, but I saw this amazing dunk by Kevin Johnson.’

“This anecdote, though, is kind of a lie. I am kind of lying when I say it.

“I did watch that basketball game, and I do remember it, but it’s not because of anything that actually happened in the game. It’s because I knew that I was purposefully skipping an event that was significant. I think unconsciously, I had convinced myself not to care about this experience, because I didn’t want to believe that it mattered.

“I didn’t like the idea of some moment in my life having any kind of—I don’t know, transformative meaning to it. I think I kind of just blocked it out.

“And now I would guess, there are probably some of you who are in this same position right now—like, you’re listening to this speech, and you’re like, ‘It’s boring,’ ‘I want this to be done,’ ‘This seems like a formal construct,’ ‘I’m doing this out of obligation for my parents.’

“A whole bunch of stuff. You might sort of feel like this is something you just got to get done.

“But here’s the truth. You’re going to remember this day whether you want to or not, because that’s how the human mind works.”

— Chuck Klosterman , journalist and author, May 14 at the University of North Dakota

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This nonbinary student activist has some powerful words as equalpride's 2024 valedictorian

highschool graduation students rainbow cap and gown student author Scar Rulien Equalpride Valedictorian 2024

Scar Rulien is equalpride’s inaugural Valedictorian for the Class of 2024 and a Student Advocate for GLSEN, the nation’s leading organization working to end discrimination, harassment, and bullying based on sexual and gender identities.

I'm sure we're all very nervous going into graduation, so I'd like to start with a fun fact about me.

My mom almost named me Jeff. Not Jeffrey, just Jeff. Sorry to any Jeff's out there, but Jeff is an objectively funny name. Unfortunately for my mom, who put so much thought into picking a good boy name (shout out to Jeff Gordon), I was born a girl. So she did exactly what any good mom would do in this scenario: pick up a baby book, flip to a random page, put her finger down, and give me the fantastic new name it landed on.

I don't go by this name anymore, not because it was somehow an even funnier name, but because it doesn't fit who I am. Unfortunately for my mom, I wasn't actually a girl. I'm nonbinary , and by the time I realized this fact about myself, I definitely wasn't giving my mom a third chance to pick my name.

I picked the name Scar. And yes! I know the irony of calling Jeff an objectively funny name when my name makes everyone think of The Lion King. But it takes one to know one! My name could be better, too, but at least I got to choose my bad name! (I'm looking at you, Jeff Gordon.)

Jokes aside, this experience has taught me one thing: there's power in our choices.

Sometimes, our choices can be massive, like choosing what college to attend. But other times, the most significant choice in our lives is choosing to get out of bed in the morning. Still, every choice we make is powerful.

My fellow graduates, I ask you to reflect on your high school experience. How have your choices shaped you? How have others shaped you? Most importantly, how have your actions affected others?

Not so fun fact: According to the Trevor Project's 2024 US National survey on the mental health of LGBTQ+ young people, 49% of LGBT people ages 13-17 reported experiencing bullying in the past year because of their identity. Have you been complicit in this? Have you bullied a peer simply because of how they identify? Have you stood idly by as your other peers did? The same survey found that 1 in 10 LGBTQ + youth have attempted suicide in the past year. It's no coincidence that those with some of the highest rates of bullying end up having the highest rates of suicides.

Many of us find school a safe haven , but it's a constant battle for some. It involves begging to be called the right name, keeping your head down when you walk in the halls, and lying to your friends about your identity.

I want those people to know that I see them. I see your struggle. I see how you find hope through social media posts. I see how you cling to characters in books about queer joy you can only dream about, like they are your only lifeline.

Know that you are loved.

Even though it's cheesy, it does get better. It may feel hopeless today, but with time, you'll look back and see how far you've come. You'll be able to embrace your identity and find incomparable freedom in doing so.

One day, your daydreams of feeling accepted won't be daydreams anymore. One day, you will be able to live without fear. One day that stupid, funny name you gave yourself in your head will be the name others will call you, and you'll love every minute of it.

So please, choose to keep living your beautiful, messy, queer life.

Scar Rulien is equalpride’s inaugural Valedictorian for the Class of 2024 and a Student Advocate for GLSEN, the nation’s leading organization working to end discrimination, harassment, and bullying based on sexual and gender identities. Learn more about GLSEN at glsen.org

Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ + and Allied community. Visit Advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. We welcome your thoughts and feedback on any of our stories. Email us at [email protected] . Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.

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  6. 37 Funny Graduation Caps That Are Painfully Accurate

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  1. Most Powerful Commencement Speech of 2023! Graduates Go CRAZY At The End!

  2. The greatest graduation speech ever made #tiktokvideo #speech ##shorts

COMMENTS

  1. 30 Graduation Speeches Designed to Make You Laugh More Than Cry

    6. "Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people's faces." -- Amy Poehler. 7. "So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on ...

  2. Funny Graduation Speeches

    Funny graduation speeches command an audience's attention and involve them in the ceremony. However, adding humor that is well-timed, appropriate, and funny can be tricky. Keep the following points in mind as you plan your speech. Timing is everything. Take a look at your speech ahead of time and decide where humor will be most appropriate.

  3. Funny Graduation Speech Quotes That'll Leave an Impression

    You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.". - Fight Club. "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.". - Bill Gates. "Live each day like it's your last, and one day you'll be right.". - Steve Jobs. "It takes 20 years to be an overnight sensation.". - Eddie Cantor.

  4. Funny Graduation Speeches

    There is nothing like a hilarious commencement speech. It might seem easy to pull off since, after all, graduation is one big party celebration. However, when you tally them, in the past ten years, there are really only a few funny graduation speeches. Here below is the list of some of the funniest commencement addresses I know of.

  5. 51 Best Graduation Speech Ideas (Serious, Funny, etc.)

    Finally, remember to have pictures or a video taken while you are giving your speech. You have earned the privilege of speaking for your entire class - a huge responsibility and one you will remember for years to come. Smile, have fun, and your audience will enjoy and remember your graduation speech. Susan Box Mann.

  6. Top Funny Graduation Speeches to Brighten Up Your Day

    Funny graduation speeches can bring laughter and joy to an otherwise serious occasion. Injecting humor into speeches is a great way to lighten the mood and make the occasion even more memorable. ... You may end up producing a moment that will be remembered forever. Remember, when it comes to humorous graduation speeches, the goal is not just to ...

  7. 21 Best Graduation Speeches of All Time

    Read the best graduation speeches from some seriously thoughtful speakers. A stellar graduation speech contains life advice you'll take into the future. ... we've rounded up the best graduation speeches chock full of funny anecdotes and uplifting quotes. ... By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks ...

  8. How to Add Humor to a Graduation Speech

    1. Use funny inspirational quotes to get you started. Starting with inspirational quotes is a common (even corny) feature of the graduation speech. If you want to have a little humor in your speeches, using humorous quotes can be a great way to do it and add some levity. [1] Here are a few classics of the genre:

  9. How to Write and Deliver a Memorable Graduation Speech: Tips, Examples

    Conclusion. Master your moment with a graduation speech that turns heads and warms hearts. Remember the power of gratitude and connect with your audience through stories, those shared adventures that bind you to your classmates. Don't be afraid to add a few jokes and quotes to your speech either, as well as personal growth stories to inspire.

  10. Graduation Speech [20 Examples + Template]

    My sisters weren't allowed to; the girls before me weren't allowed to.". 19. Funny Graduation Speech. This graduation speech by the senior class president is humorous and engaging. The class president reminisces with plenty of jokes in a speech full of fun memories and just the right amount of inspiration.

  11. Writing a Graduation Speech is Easier Than You Think

    For instance, a funny story about a time you got in trouble in school or a struggle as a youth might work. Be Inspirational; The inspirational part of your commencement speech will come from the theme of the graduation speech. (For Sample Graduation Speech Themes, see the section below.)The easiest way to develop a theme is to look for an inspirational famous quote about success.

  12. 4 High School Graduation Speech Samples That Inspire

    End With a Memorable Message. High school graduation speeches by students and special guests often end with a memorable and actionable sentence that encourages the audience to do something great. It's customary to end by saying, "Thank you" in your graduation speech, which you can do after your memorable one-liner.

  13. This writer analyzed 100 graduation speeches

    Here are the four tips they all contain: 1. Dream big. "I think it is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. I know that sounds completely nuts. But, since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. There are so few people this crazy that I feel like I know them all by first name.

  14. Funny Quotes for Graduation Speeches

    If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. Oscar Wilde. Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. Theodore Roosevelt. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car.

  15. 50 Top Graduation Speech Ideas (& Examples)

    50 Top Graduation Speech Ideas (& Examples) Try to search online and you'll find a lot of graduation speech examples. If you're in charge of giving a speech during this important event, you have the choice of whether to compose a long or short graduation speech. As long as you're able to convey your message, the length isn't that relevant.

  16. 55 Best Funny Graduation Quotes

    Neil Gaiman. Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would. Your class of 2023 grad will not stop smiling ...

  17. 16 Best Graduation Speeches That Leave a Lasting Impression

    15. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Wellesley College, 2015. "As you graduate, as you deal with your excitement and your doubts today, I urge you to try and create the world you want to live in ...

  18. 100 Public-Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech

    Here are a few funny quote you can use if you had trouble creating or designing your speech. "The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.". - George Jessel. "It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.". - Mark Twain.

  19. Graduation Speech: Complete Guide & Inspiring Graduation Speech

    A graduation speech is more than just a ceremonial tradition—it's a speech that combines a heartfelt send-off, a final farewell, and a celebration of achievement all rolled into one. These speeches are typically delivered by a selected speaker, such as a notable figure, a faculty member, or a student representative, at the commencement, or ...

  20. Middle School or Elementary School graduation speech

    School graduation speech. Let me begin by welcoming all of you to today's event and thanking (NAME OF PERSON WHO INTRODUCED YOU) for that kind introduction. I'm very pleased to have been invited to speak here today on what I know is a very special day. It's special for the graduates, for their proud parents and grandparents, and for their ...

  21. 210 Funny Graduation Quotes to Keep the Ceremony Lively

    "Looking back, my time in school was like a cup of coffee. Even though there were some grounds at the end, overall it was pretty hot and stimulating." "School for 12 years, college for 4 years… then you work until you die. Great." Crafting the Perfect Humorous Graduation Speech. Delivering a graduation speech is an honor.

  22. 115 Hilarious Graduation Quotes Funny and Not So Funny

    Perfect for speeches, cards, and social media captions. Celebrate your graduation with these 115 graduation quotes funny, witty, and memorable quotes. Perfect for speeches, cards, and your yearbook ... I'd definitely be the lovable underdog character who barely makes it to the end credits." Funny Graduation Puns To Brighten Your Day.

  23. 110 Best Graduation Quotes: Short and Inspirational Sayings

    Short graduation quotes. "Celebrate endings — for they precede new beginnings.". — Jonathan Lockwood Huie. "There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart ...

  24. Roger Federer Just Gave the Best Graduation Speech I've Ever Heard. He

    Federer's speech is an amazing case study in emotional intelligent speaking: It's funny, motivating, inspiring. It's emotionally moving. And most important, it has valuable takeaways--not just for ...

  25. Roger Federer's Dartmouth Graduation Speech Went Viral For All the

    Roger Federer's Commencement Address at Dartmouth yesterday might be the best speech he's ever given. Amazingly articulate, funny, full of wisdom. Made me laugh and tear up.

  26. From the Farm: Great nephew's graduation and achievements a reason to

    Writing and delivering a speech is not easy. When adding a dose of humor to a public presentation or funny story or clever anecdote, there's the added risk of the comedy attempt not connecting ...

  27. Highlights from this year's commencement addresses

    Graduation Speakers on Democracy, Free College and Being a "Weird Person". From Ken Burns to children's YouTuber Ms. Rachel, commencement speakers tapped into the hopes, fears and quirks of the class of 2024. By Johanna Alonso. Graduating Loyola Marymount University students watched John Legend speak about ongoing crises around the world.

  28. This nonbinary student activist has some powerful words as equalpride's

    Scar Rulien is equalpride's inaugural Valedictorian for the Class of 2024 and a Student Advocate for GLSEN, the nation's leading organization working to end discrimination, harassment, and ...

  29. Graduates share stories of success

    Mt. SAC will celebrate its 78th Commencement on Friday, and many students have enjoyed plenty of success of their way to graduation. Here are some of their stories: PABLO NUNEZ. Pablo Nunez started his career at Mt. SAC by commuting from 50 miles away… without a car. A standout pole vaulter on the Track and Field Team, Pablo naturally found a ...

  30. Video: Dr. Gupta on Catherine, Princess of Wales' possible ...

    Congressman's son pulls funny faces behind dad during House floor speech 01:06 ... High schooler gives graduation speech hours after dad's funeral