harvard extracurricular essay examples

College Application

Harvard Supplemental Essay Examples

Since they are an indispensable part of any application, studying some Harvard supplemental essay examples is the best way to start writing your own essays.

The supplemental essays give you an opportunity to position yourself as the perfect candidate. You need to put a personal touch on your application, stand out as an individual, and show how you connect to the school.

There are lots of ways to go about creating your supplemental college application essay , but the most effective method is to think of them like a story. The admissions committee has seen your amazing GPA and high SAT/ACT score, and now they want to know your story and how you ended up where you are today.

While you can always read up on how to write a college essay , there are other ways to learn besides instruction or guides. Reading sample college essays are a great way to learn about how to craft your own story.

In this article, we provide you with Harvard supplemental essay examples so you can get a feel for how to plan, write, edit, and work through your own essay.

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Article Contents 13 min read

Harvard supplemental essay #1:.

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences ( 150 word limit )

Sample Essay #1:

My hardest day was just sitting there.

I volunteered at the hospital surgical unit, helping patients and liaising with families. On this day, the surgery had gone wrong, and I was sitting there, with the family, holding the daughter’s hand, having it nearly crushed by her grip. I knew I didn’t have to sit there as long as I did, but I didn’t want to leave them there.

Later on, she said, “Thank you,” and told me how much it meant to her.

My experience that day taught me about the value of dedication and how much a small action can mean. I don’t mind a hard day, if it means something, and I would like to bring and build on these values at Harvard.

Sample Essay #2:

Jack was walking on water. Well, technically a “non-Newtonian fluid”, but it was still very cool. He was showing me how to make it in the laboratory where I had been lucky enough to receive an internship.

The lab was a great place to explore my insatiable curiosity, particularly of the sciences. I was even allowed by my boss (Jack the water-walker) to conduct small experiments of my own using lab resources.

This kindness allowed me to learn a lot of chemistry, which I didn’t understand before, in a hands-on setting, and while working in the lab I found I had a particular interest in catalysis and catalysts. I’m hoping to continue this study and, one day, make some real contributions to the field; I especially want to add to humanity’s green energy technologies.

A lofty goal? Yes. But I’ve seen a man walk on water. Anything’s possible.

Your intellectual life may extend beyond the academic requirements of your particular school. Please use the space below to list additional intellectual activities that you have not mentioned or detailed elsewhere in your application. These could include, but are not limited to, supervised or self-directed projects not done as school work, training experiences, online courses not run by your school, or summer academic or research programs not described elsewhere. (150 word limit)

My nose was in my book and Joe asked what I was reading. With some sheepishness, but a little pride, I showed them Sir Gawain and the Green Knight in Middle English. “I didn’t know you spoke that,” my friend said. “I don’t,” I replied, “but I’m figuring it out.”

Language is my passion. In high school, I’ve taken French and German, and I’m currently enrolled in an online Latin course. I love learning new languages, and in the case of Middle English, by just diving in and picking it up from context.

Learning a new language is like opening a door to another universe; somewhere you did not have access to before. Not only does it take patience and dedication, but it also requires curiosity and opened mindedness to other worldviews and cultures. Culture and communication are inextricably linked, and I want to dive in and explore both at Harvard.

Additional Essay: You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics: (this essay has no official word limit; recommended between 600-700 words)

Unusual circumstances in your life

Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities

What you would want your future college roommate to know about you

An intellectual experience (course, project, book, discussion, paper, poetry, or research topic in engineering, mathematics, science, or other modes of inquiry) that has meant the most to you

How you hope to use your college education

A list of books you have read during the past twelve months

The Harvard College Honor Code declares that we “hold honesty as the foundation of our community.” As you consider entering this community that is committed to honesty, please reflect on a time when you or someone you observed had to make a choice about whether to act with integrity and honesty.

Each year a substantial number of students admitted to Harvard defer their admission for one year or take time off during college. If you decided in the future to choose either option, what would you like to do?

Harvard has long recognized the importance of student body diversity of all kinds. We welcome you to write about distinctive aspects of your background, personal development or the intellectual interests you might bring to your Harvard classmates

The first and second essays are required. The additional essay is technically optional.

However, even though not necessarily required, you should consider it necessary to your application. You’re applying to Harvard, and how to get into Harvard is with extra effort. Competition will be fiercer here than almost anywhere else. It’s one of the most competitive schools to get into in the world.

Write the essay. Put a lot of effort into it. That extra effort will pay off.

Prompts 1 and 2 are capped at 150.

Prompt 3 has no given word limit, but should be around 600-700 words long.

You need the space to say something more than “hello”, so your essay shouldn’t be too short. But keep in mind that almost 58,000 people submitted applications in the most recent class cycle. The admissions board isn’t going to be thrilled if you submit a novella-length autobiography.

Aim for 600 words, and if you’re a little light or heavy from that number – that's okay. Keep in mind what you want to say, and then write it out in the most effective and economical way possible. You should find, if you’ve chosen your topics properly, that you’ll wind up around that word count. Remember, quality always trumps quantity, so try to keep your essays concise and clear.

While your essays will focus on your personal experiences, reflections, and lessons that you learned, they must be written and formatted like academic essays, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Limit familiar and colloquial language as much as possible.

As you can see from the prompts, you have a few choices in Prompt #3, and you can even come up with your own topic. However, we strongly advise you to answer Prompts #1 and #2 directly.

If you do have something you’d rather write about than the provided prompts in #3, make sure that it’s a topic that will showcase what makes you a good candidate for Harvard and how you can contribute to the incoming class.

No. Supplemental essays are personal reflections and experiences, so you don’t need citations.

Classical storytelling structure works for a reason: beginning, middle, end.

Chronological order is useful in most circumstances because you’ll be speaking on your past experiences, so it makes sense to keep those experiences in the order they happened. Reading some college essay introduction examples can be a useful way to learn how to start, as well.

Some prompts have their structure suggested by the prompt.

One important tip: start with an attention-grabbing sentence.

Keep focus on what you’re trying to say with your essay and structure it to maximize impact, so that the main point of your paper is set up in the beginning and is fully-articulated toward the end – just before the conclusion.

The ending needs to be strong, too – the mirror of the opening.

Make use of college essay review services to make sure there isn’t anything in the writing process – structure or otherwise – that you have missed.

If you do not get a deadline, aim to send your essays back within 2 weeks.

The prompts might change, but usually remain fairly similar. You can plan based on the knowledge that you won’t be hit with too much of a curve-ball.

The best preparation (in case of change) is to know what you’ll write about for a few different prompt options. That way, even if the prompts are switched out, you’ll be ready for them. You don’t need to write full, final drafts for all possibilities or anticipate every imaginable prompt, just cover more than one base and you will be okay.

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My Successful Harvard Application (Complete Common App + Supplement)

Other High School , College Admissions , Letters of Recommendation , Extracurriculars , College Essays

In 2005, I applied to college and got into every school I applied to, including Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT. I decided to attend Harvard.

In this guide, I'll show you the entire college application that got me into Harvard—page by page, word for word .

In my complete analysis, I'll take you through my Common Application, Harvard supplemental application, personal statements and essays, extracurricular activities, teachers' letters of recommendation, counselor recommendation, complete high school transcript, and more. I'll also give you in-depth commentary on every part of my application.

Worried about college applications? Our world-class admissions counselors can help. We've guided thousands of students to get into their top choice schools with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies.

To my knowledge, a college application analysis like this has never been done before . This is the application guide I wished I had when I was in high school.

If you're applying to top schools like the Ivy Leagues, you'll see firsthand what a successful application to Harvard and Princeton looks like. You'll learn the strategies I used to build a compelling application. You'll see what items were critical in getting me admitted, and what didn't end up helping much at all.

Reading this guide from beginning to end will be well worth your time—you might completely change your college application strategy as a result.

First Things First

Here's the letter offering me admission into Harvard College under Early Action.

I was so thrilled when I got this letter. It validated many years of hard work, and I was excited to take my next step into college (...and work even harder).

I received similar successful letters from every college I applied to: Princeton, Stanford, and MIT. (After getting into Harvard early, I decided not to apply to Yale, Columbia, UChicago, UPenn, and other Ivy League-level schools, since I already knew I would rather go to Harvard.)

The application that got me admitted everywhere is the subject of this guide. You're going to see everything that the admissions officers saw.

If you're hoping to see an acceptance letter like this in your academic future, I highly recommend you read this entire article. I'll start first with an introduction to this guide and important disclaimers. Then I'll share the #1 question you need to be thinking about as you construct your application. Finally, we'll spend a lot of time going through every page of my college application, both the Common App and the Harvard Supplemental App.

Important Note: the foundational principles of my application are explored in detail in my How to Get Into Harvard guide . In this popular guide, I explain:

what top schools like the Ivy League are looking for
how to be truly distinctive among thousands of applicants
why being well-rounded is the kiss of death

If you have the time and are committed to maximizing your college application success, I recommend you read through my Harvard guide first, then come back to this one.

You might also be interested in my other two major guides:

How to Get a Perfect SAT Score / Perfect ACT Score
How to Get a 4.0 GPA

What's in This Harvard Application Guide?

From my student records, I was able to retrieve the COMPLETE original application I submitted to Harvard. Page by page, word for word, you'll see everything exactly as I presented it : extracurricular activities, awards and honors, personal statements and essays, and more.

In addition to all this detail, there are two special parts of this college application breakdown that I haven't seen anywhere else :

You'll see my FULL recommendation letters and evaluation forms. This includes recommendations from two teachers, one principal, and supplementary writers. Normally you don't get to see these letters because you waive access to them when applying. You'll see how effective strong teacher advocates will be to your college application, and why it's so important to build strong relationships with your letter writers .
You'll see the exact pen marks made by my Harvard admissions reader on my application . Members of admissions committees consider thousands of applications every year, which means they highlight the pieces of each application they find noteworthy. You'll see what the admissions officer considered important—and what she didn't.

For every piece of my application, I'll provide commentary on what made it so effective and my strategies behind creating it. You'll learn what it takes to build a compelling overall application.

Importantly, even though my application was strong, it wasn't perfect. I'll point out mistakes I made that I could have corrected to build an even stronger application.

Here's a complete table of contents for what we'll be covering. Each link goes directly to that section, although I'd recommend you read this from beginning to end on your first go.

Common Application

Personal Data

Educational data, test information.

Activities: Extracurricular, Personal, Volunteer
Short Answer
Additional Information

Academic Honors

Personal statement, teacher and counselor recommendations.

Teacher Letter #1: AP Chemistry
Teacher Letter #2: AP English Lang

School Report

Principal Recommendation

Harvard Application Supplement

Supplement Form
Writing Supplement Essay

Supplementary Recommendation #1

Supplementary recommendation #2, supplemental application materials.

Final Advice for You

I mean it—you'll see literally everything in my application.

In revealing my teenage self, some parts of my application will be pretty embarrassing (you'll see why below). But my mission through my company PrepScholar is to give the world the most helpful resources possible, so I'm publishing it.

One last thing before we dive in—I'm going to anticipate some common concerns beforehand and talk through important disclaimers so that you'll get the most out of this guide.

Important Disclaimers

My biggest caveat for you when reading this guide: thousands of students get into Harvard and Ivy League schools every year. This guide tells a story about one person and presents one archetype of a strong applicant. As you'll see, I had a huge academic focus, especially in science ( this was my Spike ). I'm also irreverent and have a strong, direct personality.

What you see in this guide is NOT what YOU need to do to get into Harvard , especially if you don't match my interests and personality at all.

As I explain in my Harvard guide , I believe I fit into one archetype of a strong applicant—the "academic superstar" (humor me for a second, I know calling myself this sounds obnoxious). There are other distinct ways to impress, like:

being world-class in a non-academic talent
achieving something difficult and noteworthy—building a meaningful organization, writing a novel
coming from tremendous adversity and performing remarkably well relative to expectations

Therefore, DON'T worry about copying my approach one-for-one . Don't worry if you're taking a different number of AP courses or have lower test scores or do different extracurriculars or write totally different personal statements. This is what schools like Stanford and Yale want to see—a diversity in the student population!

The point of this guide is to use my application as a vehicle to discuss what top colleges are looking for in strong applicants. Even though the specific details of what you'll do are different from what I did, the principles are the same. What makes a candidate truly stand out is the same, at a high level. What makes for a super strong recommendation letter is the same. The strategies on how to build a cohesive, compelling application are the same.

There's a final reason you shouldn't worry about replicating my work—the application game has probably changed quite a bit since 2005. Technology is much more pervasive, the social issues teens care about are different, the extracurricular activities that are truly noteworthy have probably gotten even more advanced. What I did might not be as impressive as it used to be. So focus on my general points, not the specifics, and think about how you can take what you learn here to achieve something even greater than I ever did.

With that major caveat aside, here are a string of smaller disclaimers.

I'm going to present my application factually and be 100% straightforward about what I achieved and what I believed was strong in my application. This is what I believe will be most helpful for you. I hope you don't misinterpret this as bragging about my accomplishments. I'm here to show you what it took for me to get into Harvard and other Ivy League schools, not to ask for your admiration. So if you read this guide and are tempted to dismiss my advice because you think I'm boasting, take a step back and focus on the big picture—how you'll improve yourself.

This guide is geared toward admissions into the top colleges in the country , often with admissions rates below 10%. A sample list of schools that fit into this: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, MIT, UChicago, Duke, UPenn, CalTech, Johns Hopkins, Dartmouth, Northwestern, Brown. The top 3-5 in that list are especially looking for the absolute best students in the country , since they have the pick of the litter.

Admissions for these selective schools works differently from schools with >20% rates. For less selective schools, having an overall strong, well-rounded application is sufficient for getting in. In particular, having an above average GPA and test scores goes the majority of the way toward getting you admission to those schools. The higher the admission rate, the more emphasis will be placed on your scores. The other pieces I'll present below—personal statements, extracurriculars, recommendations—will matter less.

Still, it doesn't hurt to aim for a stronger application. To state the obvious, an application strong enough to get you Columbia will get you into UCLA handily.

In my application, I've redacted pieces of my application for privacy reasons, and one supplementary recommendation letter at the request of the letter writer. Everything else is unaltered.

Throughout my application, we can see marks made by the admissions officer highlighting and circling things of note (you'll see the first example on the very first page). I don't have any other applications to compare these to, so I'm going to interpret these marks as best I can. For the most part, I assume that whatever he underlines or circles is especially important and noteworthy —points that he'll bring up later in committee discussions. It could also be that the reader got bored and just started highlighting things, but I doubt this.

Finally, I co-founded and run a company called PrepScholar . We create online SAT/ACT prep programs that adapt to you and your strengths and weaknesses . I believe we've created the best prep program available, and if you feel you need to raise your SAT/ACT score, then I encourage you to check us out . I want to emphasize that you do NOT need to buy a prep program to get a great score , and the advice in this guide has little to do with my company. But if you're aren't sure how to improve your score and agree with our unique approach to SAT/ACT prep, our program may be perfect for you.

With all this past us, let's get started.

The #1 Most Important College Application Question: What Is Your PERSONAL NARRATIVE?

If you stepped into an elevator with Yale's Dean of Admissions and you had ten seconds to describe yourself and why you're interesting, what would you say?

This is what I call your PERSONAL NARRATIVE. These are the three main points that represent who you are and what you're about . This is the story that you tell through your application, over and over again. This is how an admissions officer should understand you after just glancing through your application. This is how your admissions officer will present you to the admissions committee to advocate for why they should accept you.

The more unique and noteworthy your Personal Narrative is, the better. This is how you'll stand apart from the tens of thousands of other applicants to your top choice school. This is why I recommend so strongly that you develop a Spike to show deep interest and achievement. A compelling Spike is the core of your Personal Narrative.

Well-rounded applications do NOT form compelling Personal Narratives, because "I'm a well-rounded person who's decent at everything" is the exact same thing every other well-rounded person tries to say.

Everything in your application should support your Personal Narrative , from your course selection and extracurricular activities to your personal statements and recommendation letters. You are a movie director, and your application is your way to tell a compelling, cohesive story through supporting evidence.

Yes, this is overly simplistic and reductionist. It does not represent all your complexities and your 17 years of existence. But admissions offices don't have the time to understand this for all their applicants. Your PERSONAL NARRATIVE is what they will latch onto.

Here's what I would consider my Personal Narrative (humor me since I'm peacocking here):

1) A science obsessive with years of serious research work and ranked 6 th in a national science competition, with future goals of being a neuroscientist or physician

2) Balanced by strong academic performance in all subjects (4.0 GPA and perfect test scores, in both humanities and science) and proficiency in violin

3) An irreverent personality who doesn't take life too seriously, embraces controversy, and says what's on his mind

These three elements were the core to my application. Together they tell a relatively unique Personal Narrative that distinguishes me from many other strong applicants. You get a surprisingly clear picture of what I'm about. There's no question that my work in science was my "Spike" and was the strongest piece of my application, but my Personal Narrative included other supporting elements, especially a description of my personality.

My College Application, at a High Level

Drilling down into more details, here's an overview of my application.

This put me comfortably in the 99 th percentile in the country, but it was NOT sufficient to get me into Harvard by itself ! Because there are roughly 4 million high school students per year, the top 1 percentile still has 40,000 students. You need other ways to set yourself apart.
Your Spike will most often come from your extracurriculars and academic honors, just because it's hard to really set yourself apart with your coursework and test scores.
My letters of recommendation were very strong. Both my recommending teachers marked me as "one of the best they'd ever taught." Importantly, they corroborated my Personal Narrative, especially regarding my personality. You'll see how below.
My personal statements were, in retrospect, just satisfactory. They represented my humorous and irreverent side well, but they come across as too self-satisfied. Because of my Spike, I don't think my essays were as important to my application.

Finally, let's get started by digging into the very first pages of my Common Application.

There are a few notable points about how simple questions can actually help build a first impression around what your Personal Narrative is.

First, notice the circle around my email address. This is the first of many marks the admissions officer made on my application. The reason I think he circled this was that the email address I used is a joke pun on my name . I knew it was risky to use this vs something like [email protected], but I thought it showed my personality better (remember point #3 about having an irreverent personality in my Personal Narrative).

Don't be afraid to show who you really are, rather than your perception of what they want. What you think UChicago or Stanford wants is probably VERY wrong, because of how little information you have, both as an 18-year-old and as someone who hasn't read thousands of applications.

(It's also entirely possible that it's a formality to circle email addresses, so I don't want to read too much into it, but I think I'm right.)

Second, I knew in high school that I wanted to go into the medical sciences, either as a physician or as a scientist. I was also really into studying the brain. So I listed both in my Common App to build onto my Personal Narrative.

In the long run, both predictions turned out to be wrong. After college, I did go to Harvard Medical School for the MD/PhD program for 4 years, but I left to pursue entrepreneurship and co-founded PrepScholar . Moreover, in the time I did actually do research, I switched interests from neuroscience to bioengineering/biotech.

Colleges don't expect you to stick to career goals you stated at the age of 18. Figuring out what you want to do is the point of college! But this doesn't give you an excuse to avoid showing a preference. This early question is still a chance to build that Personal Narrative.

Thus, I recommend AGAINST "Undecided" as an area of study —it suggests a lack of flavor and is hard to build a compelling story around. From your high school work thus far, you should at least be leaning to something, even if that's likely to change in the future.

Finally, in the demographic section there is a big red A, possibly for Asian American. I'm not going to read too much into this. If you're a notable minority, this is where you'd indicate it.

Now known as: Education

This section was straightforward for me. I didn't take college courses, and I took a summer chemistry class at a nearby high school because I didn't get into the lottery at my school that year (I refer to this briefly in my 4.0 GPA guide ).

The most notable point of this section: the admissions officer circled Principal here . This is notable because our school Principal only wrote letters for fewer than 10 students each year. Counselors wrote letters for the other hundreds of students in my class, which made my application stand out just a little.

I'll talk more about this below, when I share the Principal's recommendation.

(In the current Common Application, the Education section also includes Grades, Courses, and Honors. We'll be covering each of those below).

Now known as: Testing

Back then AP scores weren't part of this section, but I'll take them from another part of my application here.

However, their standards are still very high. You really do want to be in that top 1 percentile to pass the filter. A 1400 on the SAT IS going to put you at a disadvantage because there are so many students scoring higher than you. You'll really have to dig yourself out of the hole with an amazing application.

I talk about this a lot more in my Get into Harvard guide (sorry to keep linking this, but I really do think it's an important guide for you to read).

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

Let's end this section with some personal notes.

Even though math and science were easy for me, I had to put in serious effort to get an 800 on the Reading section of the SAT . As much as I wish I could say it was trivial for me, it wasn't. I learned a bunch of strategies and dissected the test to get to a point where I understood the test super well and reliably earned perfect scores.

I cover the most important points in my How to Get a Perfect SAT Score guide , as well as my 800 Guides for Reading , Writing , and Math .

Between the SAT and ACT, the SAT was my primary focus, but I decided to take the ACT for fun. The tests were so similar that I scored a 36 Composite without much studying. Having two test scores is completely unnecessary —you get pretty much zero additional credit. Again, with one test score, you have already passed their filter.

Finally, class finals or state-required exams are a breeze if you get a 5 on the corresponding AP tests .

Now known as: Family (still)

This section asks for your parent information and family situation. There's not much you can do here besides report the facts.

I'm redacting a lot of stuff again for privacy reasons.

The reader made a number of marks here for occupation and education. There's likely a standard code for different types of occupations and schools.

If I were to guess, I'd say that the numbers add to form some metric of "family prestige." My dad got a Master's at a middle-tier American school, but my mom didn't go to graduate school, and these sections were marked 2 and 3, respectively. So it seems higher numbers are given for less prestigious educations by your parents. I'd expect that if both my parents went to schools like Caltech and Dartmouth, there would be even lower numbers here.

This makes me think that the less prepared your family is, the more points you get, and this might give your application an extra boost. If you were the first one in your family to go to college, for example, you'd be excused for having lower test scores and fewer AP classes. Schools really do care about your background and how you performed relative to expectations.

In the end, schools like Harvard say pretty adamantly they don't use formulas to determine admissions decisions, so I wouldn't read too much into this. But this can be shorthand to help orient an applicant's family background.

Extracurricular, Personal, and Volunteer Activities

Now known as: Activities

For most applicants, your Extracurriculars and your Academic Honors will be where you develop your Spike and where your Personal Narrative shines through. This was how my application worked.

Just below I'll describe the activities in more detail, but first I want to reflect on this list.

As instructed, my extracurriculars were listed in the order of their interest to me. The current Common App doesn't seem to ask for this, but I would still recommend it to focus your reader's attention.

The most important point I have to make about my extracurriculars: as you go down the list, there is a HUGE drop in the importance of each additional activity to the overall application. If I were to guess, I assign the following weights to how much each activity contributed to the strength of my activities section:


Research Science Institute 2004	75%
Jisan Research Institute	10%
Pasadena Young Musicians Orchestra	6%
Science Olympiad/Science Bowl/Math Team	4%
City of Hope Medical Center	1%
Pre-Medicine Club	1%
Hospital Quartet Performances	1%
Chemistry Club	1%

In other words, participating in the Research Science Institute (RSI) was far more important than all of my other extracurriculars, combined. You can see that this was the only activity my admissions reader circled.

You can see how Spike-y this is. The RSI just completely dominates all my other activities.

The reason for this is the prestige of RSI. As I noted earlier, RSI was (and likely still is) the most prestigious research program for high school students in the country, with an admission rate of less than 5% . Because the program was so prestigious and selective, getting in served as a big confirmation signal of my academic quality.

In other words, the Harvard admissions reader would likely think, "OK, if this very selective program has already validated Allen as a top student, I'm inclined to believe that Allen is a top student and should pay special attention to him."

Now, it took a lot of prior work to even get into RSI because it's so selective. I had already ranked nationally in the Chemistry Olympiad (more below), and I had done a lot of prior research work in computer science (at Jisan Research Institute—more about this later). But getting into RSI really propelled my application to another level.

Because RSI was so important and was such a big Spike, all my other extracurriculars paled in importance. The admissions officer at Princeton or MIT probably didn't care at all that I volunteered at a hospital or founded a high school club .

This is a good sign of developing a strong Spike. You want to do something so important that everything else you do pales in comparison to it. A strong Spike becomes impossible to ignore.

In contrast, if you're well-rounded, all your activities hold equal weight—which likely means none of them are really that impressive (unless you're a combination of Olympic athlete, internationally-ranked science researcher, and New York Times bestselling author, but then I'd call you unicorn because you don't exist).

Apply this concept to your own interests—what can be so impressive and such a big Spike that it completely overshadows all your other achievements?

This might be worth spending a disproportionate amount of time on. As I recommend in my Harvard guide and 4.0 GPA guide , smartly allocating your time is critical to your high school strategy.

In retrospect, one "mistake" I made was spending a lot of time on the violin. Each week I spent eight hours on practice and a lesson and four hours of orchestra rehearsals. This amounted to over 1,500 hours from freshman to junior year.

The result? I was pretty good, but definitely nowhere near world-class. Remember, there are thousands of orchestras and bands in the country, each with their own concertmasters, drum majors, and section 1 st chairs.

If I were to optimize purely for college applications, I should have spent that time on pushing my spike even further —working on more Olympiad competitions, or doing even more hardcore research.

Looking back I don't mind this much because I generally enjoyed my musical training and had a mostly fun time in orchestra (and I had a strong Spike anyway). But this problem can be a lot worse for well-rounded students who are stretched too thin.

Aside from these considerations about a Spike, I have two major caveats.

First, developing a Spike requires continuous, increasingly ambitious foundational work. It's like climbing a staircase. From the beginning of high school, each step was more and more ambitious—my first academic team, my first research experience, leading up to state and national competitions and more serious research work.

So when I suggest devoting a lot of time to developing your Spike, it's not necessarily the Spike in itself—it's also spending time on foundational work leading up to what will be your major achievement. That's why I don't see my time with academic teams or volunteering as wasted, even though in the end they didn't contribute as much to my application.

Second, it is important to do things you enjoy. I still enjoyed playing the violin and being part of an orchestra, and I really enjoyed my school's academic teams, even though we never went beyond state level. Even if some activities don't contribute as much to your application, it's still fine to spend some time on them—just don't delude yourself into thinking they're stronger than they really are and overspend time on them.

Finally, note that most of my activities were pursued over multiple years. This is a good sign of commitment—rather than hopping from activity year to year, it's better to show sustained commitment, as this is a better signal of genuine passion.

In a future article, I'll break down these activities in more detail. But this guide is already super long, so I want to focus our attention on the main points.

Short Answer: Extracurricular Activities

In today's Common Application, you have 50 characters to describe "Position/Leadership description and organization name" and 150 characters for "Please describe this activity, including what you accomplished and any recognition you received, etc."

Back then, we didn't have as much space per activity, and instead had a short answer question.

The Short Answer prompt:

Please describe which of your activities (extracurricular and personal activities or work experience) has been most meaningful and why.

I chose RSI as my most significant activity for two reasons—one based on the meaning of the work, and another on the social aspect.

It's obvious that schools like Yale and UChicago want the best students in the world that they can get their hands on. Academic honors and awards are a great, quantifiable way to show that.

Here's the complete list of Academic Honors I submitted. The Common Application now limits you to five honors only (probably because they got tired of lists like these), but chances are you capture the top 98% of your honors with the top five.

Charlie wins a Golden Ticket to Harvard.

I know this is intimidating if you don't already have a prestigious honor. But remember there are thousands of nationally-ranked people in a multitude of honor types, from science competitions to essay contests to athletics to weird talents.

And I strongly believe the #1 differentiator of high school students who achieve things is work ethic, NOT intelligence or talent. Yes, you need a baseline level of competence to get places, but people far undervalue the progress they can make if they work hard and persevere. Far too many people give up too quickly or fatigue without putting in serious effort.

If you're stuck thinking, "well I'm just an average person, and there's no way I'm going to become world-class in anything," then you've already lost before you've begun. The truth is everyone who achieves something of note puts in an incredible amount of hard work. Because this is invisible to you, it looks like talent is what distinguishes the two of you, when really it's much more often diligence.

I talk a lot more about the Growth Mindset in my How To Get a 4.0 GPA guide .

So my Chemistry Olympiad honor formed 90% of the value of this page. Just like extracurriculars, there's a quick dropoff in value of each item after that.

My research work took up the next two honors, one a presentation at an academic conference, and the other (Siemens) a research competition for high school researchers.

The rest of my honors were pretty middling:

National Merit Scholarship semifinalist pretty much equates to PSAT score, which is far less important than your SAT/ACT score. So I didn't really get any credit for this, and you won't either.
In Science Olympiad (this is a team-based competition that's not as prestigious as the academic Olympiads I just talked about), I earned a number of 1 st place state and regional medals, but we never made it to nationals.
I was mediocre at competition math because I didn't train for it, and I won some regional awards but nothing amazing. This is one place I would have spent more time, maybe in the time I'd save by not practicing violin as much. There are great resources for this type of training, like Art of Problem Solving , that I didn't know existed and could've helped me rank much higher.

At the risk of beating a dead horse, think about how many state medalists there are in the country, in the hundreds of competitions that exist . The number of state to national rankers is probably at least 20:1 (less than 50:1 because of variation in state size), so if there are 2,000 nationally ranked students, there are 40,000 state-ranked students in something !

So state honors really don't help you stand out on your Princeton application. There are just too many of them around.

On the other hand, if you can get to be nationally ranked in something, you will have an amazing Spike that distinguishes you.

Now known as: Personal Essay

Now, the dreaded personal statement. Boy, oh boy, did I fuss over this one.

"What is the perfect combination of personal, funny, heartrending, and inspirational?"

I know I was wondering this when I applied.

Having read books like 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays , I was frightened. I didn't grow up as a refugee, wrenched from my war-torn home! I didn't have a sibling with a debilitating illness! How could anything I write compare to these tales of personal strength?

The trite truth is that colleges want to know who you really are . Clearly they don't expect everyone to have had immense personal struggle. But they do want students who are:

growth-oriented
introspective
kind and good-hearted

Whatever those words mean to you in the context of your life is what you should write about.

In retrospect, in the context of MY application, the personal statement really wasn't what got me into Harvard . I do think my Spike was nearly sufficient to get me admitted to every school in the country.

I say "nearly" because, even if you're world-class, schools do want to know you're not a jerk and that you're an interesting person (which is conveyed through your personal essay and letters of recommendation).

Back then, we had a set of different prompts :

What did you think?

I'm still cringing a bit. Parts of this are very smug (see /r/iamverysmart ), and if you want to punch the writer in the face, I don't blame you. I want to as well.

We'll get to areas of improvement later, but first, let's talk about what this personal essay did well.

As I said above, I saw the theme of the snooze button as a VEHICLE to showcase a few qualities I cared about :

1) I fancied myself a Renaissance man (obnoxious, I know) and wanted to become an inventor and creator . I showed this through mentioning different interests (Rubik's cube, chemistry, Nietzsche) and iterating through a few designs for an alarm clock (electric shocks, explosions, Shakespearean sonnet recitation).

2) My personality was whimsical and irreverent. I don't take life too seriously. The theme of the essay—battling an alarm clock—shows this well, in comparison to the gravitas of the typical student essay. I also found individual lines funny, like "All right, so I had violated the divine honor of the family and the tenets of Confucius." At once I acknowledge my Chinese heritage but also make light of the situation.

3) I was open to admitting weaknesses , which I think is refreshing among people taking college applications too seriously and trying too hard to impress. The frank admission of a realistic lazy habit—pushing the Snooze button—served as a nice foil to my academic honors and shows that I can be down-to-earth.

So you see how the snooze button acts as a vehicle to carry these major points and a lot of details, tied together to the same theme .

In the same way, The Walking Dead is NOT a zombie show—the zombie environment is a VEHICLE by which to show human drama and conflict. Packaging my points together under the snooze button theme makes it a lot more interesting than just outright saying "I'm such an interesting guy."

So overall, I believe the essay accomplishes my goals and the main points of what I wanted to convey about myself.

Note that this is just one of many ways to write an essay . It worked for me, but it may be totally inappropriate for you.

Now let's look at this essay's weaknesses.

Looking at it with a more seasoned perspective, some parts of it are WAY too try-hard. I try too hard to show off my breadth of knowledge in a way that seems artificial and embellishing.

The entire introduction with the Rubik's cube seems bolted on, just to describe my long-standing desire to be a Renaissance man. Only three paragraphs down do I get to the Snooze button, and I don't refer again to the introduction until the end. With just 650 words, I could have made the essay more cohesive by keeping the same theme from beginning to end.

Some phrases really make me roll my eyes. "Always hungry for more" and "ever the inventor" sound too forced and embellishing. A key principle of effective writing is to show, not say . You don't say "I'm passionate about X," you describe what extraordinary lengths you took to achieve X.

The mention of Nietzsche is over-the-top. I mean, come on. The reader probably thought, "OK, this kid just read it in English class and now he thinks he's a philosopher." The reader would be right.

The ending: "with the extra nine minutes, maybe I'll teach myself to cook fried rice" is silly. Where in the world did fried rice come from? I meant it as a nod to my Chinese heritage, but it's too sudden to work. I could have deleted the sentence and wrapped up the essay more cleanly.

So I have mixed feelings of my essay. I think it accomplished my major goals and showed the humorous, irreverent side of my personality well. However, it also gave the impression of a kid who thought he knew more than he did, a pseudo-sophisticate bordering on obnoxious. I still think it was a net positive.

At the end of the day, I believe the safest, surefire strategy is to develop a Spike so big that the importance of the Personal Essay pales in comparison to your achievements. You want your Personal Essay to be a supplement to your application, not the only reason you get in.

There are probably some cases where a well-rounded student writes an amazing Personal Essay and gets in through the strength of that. As a Hail Mary if you're a senior and can't improve your application further, this might work. But the results are very variable—some readers may love your essay, others may just think it's OK. Without a strong application to back it up, your mileage may vary.

This is a really fun section. Usually you don't get to read your letter of recommendation because you sign the FERPA waiver. I've also reached out to my letter writers to make sure they're ok with my showing this.

Teacher recommendations are incredibly important to your application. I would say that after your coursework/test scores and activities/honors, they're the 3 rd most important component of your application .

The average teacher sees thousands of students through a career, and so he or she is very well equipped to position you relative to all other students. Furthermore, your teachers are experienced adults—their impressions of you are much more reliable than your impressions of yourself (see my Personal Essay above). They can corroborate your entire Personal Narrative as an outside observer.

The most effective recommendation letters speak both to your academic strengths and to your personality. For the second factor, the teacher needs to have interacted with you meaningfully, ideally both in and out of class. Check out our guide on what makes for effective letters of recommendation .

Starting from sophomore year, I started thinking about whom I connected better with and chose to engage with those teachers more deeply . Because it's standard for colleges to require two teachers in different subjects, I made sure to engage with English and history teachers as well as math and science.

The minimum requirement for a good letter is someone who taught a class in which you did well. I got straight A's in my coursework, so this wasn't an issue.

Beyond this, I had to look for teachers who would be strong advocates for me on both an academic and personal level . These tended to be teachers I vibed more strongly with, and typically these were teachers who demonstrably cared about teaching. This was made clear by their enthusiasm, how they treated students, and how much they went above expectations to help.

I had a lot of teachers who really just phoned it in and treated their job perfunctorily—these people are likely to write pretty blasé letters.

A final note before reading my actual teacher evaluations— you should avoid getting in the mindset where you get to know teachers JUST because you want a good recommendation letter . Your teachers have seen hundreds, if not thousands, of students pass through, and it's much easier to detect insincerity than you think.

If you honestly like learning and are an enthusiastic, responsible, engaging student, a great recommendation letter will follow naturally. The horse should lead the cart.

Read my How to Get a 4.0 GPA for tips on how to interact with teachers in a genuine way that'll make them love you.

Teacher Letter #1: AP Chemistry Teacher

I took AP Chemistry in 10 th grade and had Miss Cherryl Vorak (now Mynster). She was young, having taught for fewer than 5 years when I had her. She was my favorite teacher throughout high school for these reasons:

She was enthusiastic, very caring, and spent a lot of time helping struggling students. She exuded pride in her work and seemed to consider teaching her craft.
She had a kind personality and was universally well liked by her students, even if they weren't doing so well. She was fair in her policies (it probably helped that science is more objective than English). She was also a younger teacher, and this helped her relate to kids more closely.
She was my advocate for much of the US National Chemistry Olympiad stuff, and in this capacity I got to know her even better outside of class. She provided me a lot of training materials, helped me figure out college chemistry, and directed me to resources to learn more.

By the time of the letter writing, I had known her for two full years and engaged with her continuously, even when I wasn't taking a class with her in junior year. We'd build up a strong relationship over the course of many small interactions.

All of this flowed down to the recommendation you see here. Remember, the horse leads the cart.

First, we'll look at the teacher evaluation page. The Common Application now has 16 qualities to rate, rather than the 10 here. But they're largely the same.

You can see a very strong evaluation here, giving me the highest ratings possible for all qualities.

In today's Common Application, all of these Ratings are retained, aside from "Potential for Growth." Today's Common App also now includes Faculty Respect, Maturity, Leadership, Integrity, Reaction to Setbacks, Concern for Others, and TE Overall. You can tell that the updated Common App places a great emphasis on personality.

The most important point here: it is important to be ranked "One of the top few encountered in my career" for as many ratings as possible . If you're part of a big school, this is CRITICAL to distinguish yourself from other students. The more experienced and trustworthy the teacher, the more meaningful this is.

Again, it's a numbers game. Think about the 20,000+ high schools in the country housing 4 million+ high school students—how many people fit in the top 5% bucket?

Thus, being marked merely as Excellent (top 10%) is actually a negative rating , as far as admissions to top colleges is concerned. If you're in top 10%, and someone else with the SAME teacher recommender is being rated as "One of the top ever," it's really hard for the admissions officer to vouch for you over the other student.

You really want to make sure you're one of the best in your school class, if not one of the best the teacher has ever encountered. You'll see below how you can accomplish this.

Next, let's look at her letter.

As you read this, think— what are the interactions that would prompt the teacher to write a recommendation like this? This was a relationship built up in a period of over 2 years, with every small interaction adding to an overall larger impression.

You can see how seriously they take the letter because of all the underlining . This admissions reader underlined things that weren't even underlined in my application, like my US National Chemistry Olympiad awards. It's one thing for a student to claim things about himself—it's another to have a teacher put her reputation on the line to advocate for her student.

The letter here is very strong for a multitude of reasons. First, the length is notable —most letters are just a page long, but this is nearly two full pages , single spaced. This indicates not just her overall commitment to her students but also of her enthusiastic support for me as an applicant.

The structure is effective: first Miss Vorak talks about my academic accomplishments, then about my personal qualities and interactions, then a summary to the future. This is a perfect blend of what effective letters contain .

On the micro-level, her diction and phrasing are precise and effective . She makes my standing clear with specific statements : "youngest student…top excelling student among the two sections" and "one of twenty students in the nation." She's clear about describing why my achievements are notable and the effort I put in, like studying college-level chemistry and studying independently.

When describing my personality, she's exuberant and fleshes out a range of dimensions: "conscientious, motivated and responsible," "exhibits the qualities of a leader," "actively seeks new experiences," "charismatic," "balanced individual with a warm personality and sense of humor." You can see how she's really checking off all the qualities colleges care about.

Overall, Miss Vorak's letter perfectly supports my Personal Narrative —my love for science, my overall academic performance, and my personality. I'm flattered and grateful to have received this support. This letter was important to complement the overall academic performance and achievements shown on the rest of my application.

Teacher Letter #2: AP English Language Teacher

My second teacher Mrs. Swift was another favorite. A middle-aged, veteran English teacher, the best way I would describe her is "fiery." She was invigorating and passionate, always trying to get a rise out of students and push their thinking, especially in class discussions. Emotionally she was a reliable source of support for students.

First, the evaluation:

You can see right away that her remarks are terser. She didn't even fill out the section about "first words that come to mind to describe this student."

You might chalk this up to my not being as standout of a student in her mind, or her getting inundated with recommendation letter requests after over a decade of teaching.

In ratings, you can see that I only earned 3 of the "one of the top in my career." There are a few explanations for this. As a teacher's career lengthens, it gets increasingly hard to earn this mark. I probably also didn't stand out as much as I did to my Chemistry teacher—most of my achievement was in science (which she wasn't closely connected to), and I had talented classmates. Regardless, I did appreciate the 3 marks she gave me.

Now, the letter. Once again, as you read this letter, think: what are the hundreds of micro-interactions that would have made a teacher write a letter like this?

Overall, this letter is very strong. It's only one page long, but her points about my personality are the critical piece of this recommendation. She also writes with the flair of an English teacher:

"In other situations where students would never speak their minds, he showed no hesitation to voice questions, thoughts, and ideas."

"controversial positions often being the spark that set off the entire class"

"ability to take the quiet and shy student and actively engage"…"went out of my way to partner him with other students who needed"

"strength of conviction"…"raw, unbridled passion"…"He will argue on any topic that has touched a nerve."

These comments most support the personality aspect of my Personal Narrative—having an irreverent, bold personality and not being afraid of speaking my mind. She stops just short of making me sound obnoxious and argumentative. An experienced teacher vouching for this adds so much more weight than just my writing it about myself.

Teacher recommendations are some of the most important components of your application. Getting very strong letters take a lot of sustained, genuine interaction over time to build mutual trust and respect. If you want detailed advice on how to interact with teachers earnestly, check out my How to Get a 4.0 GPA and Better Grades guide .

Let's go to the final recommendation, from the school counselor.

Now known as: School Report

The first piece of this is reporting your academic status and how the school works overall. There's not much to say here, other than the fact that my Principal wrote my recommendation for me, which we'll get into next.

Counselor Recommendation

Now known as: Counselor Recommendation

Let's talk about my school principal writing my recommendation, rather than a school counselor.

This was definitely advantageous—remember how, way up top in Educational Data, the reader circled the "Principal." Our Principal only wrote a handful of these recommendations each year , often for people who worked closely with him, like student body presidents. So it was pretty distinctive that I got a letter from our Principal, compared to other leading applicants from my school.

This was also a blessing because our counseling department was terrible . Our school had nearly 1,000 students per grade, and only 1 counselor per grade. They were overworked and ornery, and because they were the gatekeepers of academic enrollment (like class selection and prerequisites), this led to constant frictions in getting the classes you wanted.

I can empathize with them, because having 500+ neurotic parents pushing for advantages for their own kids can get REALLY annoying really fast. But the counseling department was still the worst part of our high school administration, and I could have guessed that the letters they wrote were mediocre because they just had too many students.

So how did my Principal come to write my recommendation and not those for hundreds of other students?

I don't remember exactly how this came to be, to be honest. I didn't strategize to have him write a letter for me years in advance. I didn't even interact with him much at all until junior year, when I got on his radar because of my national rankings. Come senior year I might have talked to him about my difficulty in reaching counselors and asked that he write my recommendation. Since I was a top student he was probably happy to do this.

He was very supportive, but as you can tell from the letter to come, it was clear he didn't know me that well.

Interestingly, the prompt for the recommendation has changed. It used to start with: "Please write whatever you think is important about this student."

Now, it starts with: " Please provide comments that will help us differentiate this student from others ."

The purpose of the recommendation has shifted to the specific: colleges probably found that one counselor was serving hundreds of students, so the letters started getting mushy and indistinguishable from each other.

Here's the letter:

This letter is probably the weakest overall of all my letters. It reads more like a verbal resume than a personal account of how he understands me.

Unlike my two teacher recommendations, he doesn't comment on the nature of our interactions or about my personality (because he truly didn't understand them well). He also misreported by SAT score as 1530 instead of 1600 (I did score a 1530 in an early test, but my 1600 was ready by January 2004, so I don't know what source he was using).

Notably, the letter writer didn't underline anything.

I still appreciate that he wrote my letter, and it was probably more effective than a generic counselor letter. But this didn't add much to my application.

At this point, we've covered my entire Common Application. This is the same application I sent to every school I applied to, including Harvard, Princeton, and Stanford. Thanks for reading this far—I hope you've gotten a lot out of this already.

If you keep reading to the end, I'll have advice for both younger students and current applicants to build the strongest application possible.

Next, we'll go over the Harvard Supplemental Application, which of course is unique to Harvard.

For most top colleges like Princeton, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, and so on, you will need to complete a supplemental application to provide more info than what's listed on the Common Application.

Harvard was and is the same. The good news is that it's an extra chance for you to share more about yourself and keep pushing your Personal Narrative.

There are four major components here:

The application form
Writing supplement essay
Supplementary recommendations
Supplemental application materials

I'll take you through the application section by section.

Harvard Supplement Form

First, the straightforward info and questions.

This section is pretty straightforward and is similar to what you'd see on a Columbia application.

I planned to live in a Harvard residence, as most students do.

Just as in my Common App, I noted that I was most likely to study biological sciences, choose Medicine as my vocation, and participate in orchestra, writing, and research as my extracurriculars. Nothing surprising here—it's all part of my Personal Narrative.

Interestingly, at the time I was "absolutely certain" about my vocational goals, which clearly took a detour once I left medical school to pursue entrepreneurship to create PrepScholar...

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I had the space to list some additional honors, where I listed some musical honors that didn't make the cut in my Common App.

Here are the next two pages of the Harvard supplemental form.

The most interesting note here is that the admissions officer wrote a question mark above "Music tape or CD." Clearly this was inconsistent with my Personal Narrative —if violin was such an important part of my story, why didn't I want to include it?

The reason was that I was actually pretty mediocre at violin and was nowhere near national-ranked. Again, remember how many concertmasters in the thousands of orchestras there are in the world—I wasn't good enough to even be in the top 3 chairs in my school orchestra (violin was very competitive).

I wanted to focus attention on my most important materials, which for my Personal Narrative meant my research work. You'll see these supplementary materials later.

Additional Essays

Now known as: Writing Supplement

For the most part, the Harvard supplemental essay prompt has stayed the same. You can write about a topic of your choice or about any of the suggestions. There are now two more prompts that weren't previously there: "What you would want your future college roommate to know about you" and "How you hope to use your college education."

Even though this is optional, I highly recommend you write something here. Again, you have so few chances in the overall application to convey your personal voice—an extra 500 words gives you a huge opportunity. I would guess that the majority of admitted Harvard students submit a Writing Supplement.

After a lot of brainstorming, I settled on the idea that I wanted to balance my application by writing about the major non-academic piece of my Personal Narrative—my music training . Also, I don't think I explicitly recognized this at the time, but I wanted to distance myself from the Asian-American stereotype—driven entirely by parent pressure, doing most things perfunctorily and without interest. I wanted to show I'd broken out of that mold.

Here's my essay:

Reading it now, I actually think this was a pretty bad essay, and I cringe to high heaven. But once again, let's focus on the positive first.

I used my violin teacher as a vehicle for talking about what the violin meant to me. (You can tell I love the concept of the vehicle in essays.) He represented passion for the violin—I represented my academic priorities. Our personal conflict was really the conflict between what we represented.

By the end of the essay, I'd articulated the value of musical training to me—it was cathartic and a way to balance my hard academic pursuits.

Halfway in the essay, I also explicitly acknowledged the Asian stereotype of parents who drove their kids, and said my parents were no different. The reader underlined this sentence. By pointing this out and showing how my interest took on a life of its own, I wanted to distance myself from that stereotype.

So overall I think my aims were accomplished.

Despite all that, this essay was WAY overdramatic and overwrought . Some especially terrible lines:

"I was playing for that cathartic moment when I could feel Tchaikovsky himself looking over my shoulder."

"I was wandering through the fog in search of a lighthouse, finally setting foot on a dock pervaded by white light."

OK, please. Who really honestly feels this way? This is clumsy, contrived writing. It signals insincerity, actually, which is bad.

To be fair, all of this is grounded in truth. I did have a strict violin teacher who did get pretty upset when I showed lack of improvement. I did appreciate music as a diversion to round out my academic focus. I did practice hard each day, and I did have a pretty gross callus on my pinky.

But I would have done far better by making it more sincere and less overworked.

As an applicant, you're tempted to try so hard to impress your reader. You want to show that you're Worthy of Consideration. But really the best approach is to be honest.

I think this essay was probably neutral to my application, not a strong net positive or net negative.

Supplementary Recommendations

Harvard lets you submit letters from up to two Other Recommenders. The Princeton application, Penn application, and others are usually the same.

Unlike the other optional components (the Additional Information in the Common App, and the Supplementary Essay), I would actually consider these letters optional. The reader gets most of the recommendation value from your teacher recommendations—these are really supplementary.

A worthwhile Other Recommender:

has supervised an activity or honor that is noteworthy
has interacted with you extensively and can speak to your personality
is likely to support you as one of the best students they've interacted with

If your Other Recommenders don't fulfill one or more of these categories, do NOT ask for supplementary letters. They'll dilute your application without adding substantively to it.

To beat a dead horse, the primary component of my Personal Narrative was my science and research work. So naturally I chose supervisors for my two major research experiences to write supplemental letters.

First was the Director of Research Science Institute (the selective summer research program at MIT). The second was from the head of Jisan Research Institute, where I did Computer Science research.

This letter validates my participation in RSI and incorporates the feedback from my research mentor, David Simon. At the time, the RSI students were the most talented students I had met, so I'm also flattered by some of the things the letter writer said, like "Allen stood out early on as a strong performer in academic settings."

I didn't get to know the letter writer super well, so he commented mainly on my academic qualifications and comments from my mentor.

My mentor, who was at one of the major Harvard-affiliated hospitals, said some very nice things about my research ability, like:

"is performing in many ways at the level of a graduate student"

"impressed with Allen's ability to read even advanced scientific publications and synthesize his understanding"

Once again, it's much more convincing for a seasoned expert to vouch for your abilities than for you to claim your own abilities.

My first research experience was done at Jisan Research Institute, a small private computer science lab run by a Caltech PhD. The research staff were mainly high school students like me and a few grad students/postdocs.

My research supervisor, Sanza Kazadi, wrote the letter. He's requested that I not publish the letter, so I'll only speak about his main points.

In the letter, he focused on the quality of my work and leadership. He said that I had a strong focus in my work, and my research moved along more reliably than that of other students. I was independent in my work in swarm engineering, he says, putting together a simulation of the swarm and publishing a paper in conference proceedings. He talked about my work in leading a research group and placing a high degree of trust in me.

Overall, a strong recommendation, and you get the gist of his letter without reading it.

One notable point—both supplemental letters had no marks on them. I really think this means they place less emphasis on the supplementary recommendations, compared to the teacher recommendations.

Finally, finally, we get to the very last piece of my application.

Let me beat the dead horse even deader. Because research was such a core part of my Personal Narrative, I decided to include abstracts of both of my papers. The main point was to summarize the body of work I'd done and communicate the major results.

As Harvard says, "These materials are entirely optional; please only submit them if you have unusual talents."

This is why I chose not to submit a tape of my music: I don't think my musical skill was unusually good.

And frankly, I don't think my research work was that spectacular. Unlike some of my very accomplished classmates, I hadn't ranked nationally in prestigious competitions like ISEF and Siemens. I hadn't published my work in prominent journals.

Regardless, I thought these additions would be net positive, if only marginally so.

I made sure to note where the papers had been published or were entering competitions, just to ground the work in some achievement.

Recommendation Letters: Hopefully you should have developed strong, genuine relationships with teachers you care about. The letters should flow naturally from here, and you will only need to do gentle prodding to make sure they meet deadlines.

Keep Reading

At PrepScholar, we've published the best guides available anywhere to help you succeed in high school and college admissions.

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ACT 36 Series: English | Math | Reading | Science —Learn how to get a perfect 36 on each section of the ACT.

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League —The foundational guide where I discuss the philosophy behind what colleges are looking for, how to develop a Spike, and why being well-rounded is the path to rejection.

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How to Answer the Harvard Supplemental Essay Prompts (2024-2025)

How to write the harvard supplemental essays (2024-2025).

Bonus Material: PrepMaven’s 50+ Real Supplemental Essays for Ivy+ Schools

Last year, Harvard admitted just 3.7% of applicants, meaning that if you want a shot at an admission for the 2024-2025 cycle, your application has to be just about perfect.

One element of the Harvard application that many students struggle with is the Harvard writing supplement. It’s tricky to know exactly how to approach these supplemental essays: what can you write to stand out from the thousands of other applicants? What exactly are Harvard admissions officers looking for?

Fortunately, at PrepMaven, we’ve helped thousands of students craft compelling college application essays. It doesn’t hurt that many of our expert tutors have been admitted to Harvard themselves, and so they know exactly what works.

In this guide, we’ll break down the 2024-2025 Harvard writing supplement, explaining exactly what you need to do to maximize your chances at a Harvard acceptance. To check out our overall guide that covers everything you need to do to get into Harvard, click here.

As you read on, check out our free resource linked below: it contains real, successful examples of supplemental essays written for Harvard and other top schools.

Download 50+ Real Supplemental Essays for Ivy+ Schools

Jump to section:

Harvard 2024-2025 supplemental essay prompts
How to write Harvard’s first essay
How to write Harvard’s second essay
How to write Harvard’s third essay
How to write Harvard’s fourth essay
How to write Harvard’s fifth essay

Harvard’s 2024-2025 supplemental essays

This year, Harvard has a fairly intense set of supplemental essays: you’ll have to write 5 essays, each with a maximum word count of 150 words.

The supplemental essays prompts are below:

Prompt 1 Harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. How will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to Harvard? Prompt 2 Describe a time when you strongly disagreed with someone about an idea or issue. How did you communicate or engage with this person? What did you learn from this experience? Prompt 3 Briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are. Prompt 4 How do you hope to use your Harvard education in the future? Prompt 5 Top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you.

The first thing to notice is that several of these essays fall into well-known categories of the college essay.

How to write Harvard’s first essay: Diversity/Community

If you haven’t already, you’ll soon come to recognize this essay prompt. At heart, this kind of prompt is asking you to discuss how–based on specific elements of your life–you view your role as a potential member of Harvard’s diverse community.

We call this the Diversity/community essay, because those are really always two sides of the same coin.

With the Harvard Diversity/community essay, there are 2 basic options for structuring your response:

Discuss community through the lens of your identity.
Discuss community through the lens of other events/activities/pursuits in your life.

Which path you take will actually be easy to decide:

If your identity (racial, ethnic, gender, sexual, religious, etc.) has significantly influenced your worldview or experiences, go with option 1.

In other words, if you know you have something meaningful to say about how your identity has shaped you, that should structure your response. This might mean writing an essay about how discrimination or systemic biases have affected you or your family; it could just as well, however, mean writing about specific experiences you’ve cherished as a member of a particular culture.

A few great examples from recent essays we’ve worked on:

An essay that focuses on a student’s biracial background and how she learned to use others’ ignorant/racist comments as opportunities for starting difficult conversations.
An essay exploring how a first-generation immigrant served as a translator for his parents.
An essay from a young woman exploring how she navigated the contradictions between her feminist views and the emphasis on tradition within her religion.

If your identity has not significantly experienced how you view the world, go with option 2.

If you don’t feel particularly connected to a specific identity, or if you can’t think of specific ways that your identity has affected you, you should instead focus on other elements of your life that have shaped your view of community.

Think about what you want out of a community: then, think about what aspect of your life (an extracurricular, a hobby, a social circle) has shaped that desire. Tell that story. It may sound a bit tough to thread that needle, but it really isn’t so bad: here are a few really successful topics from recent students in response to this kind of prompt:

An essay about how a student’s participation in yearly music recitals with strangers shaped how he views community as a place for everyone to share their gifts/talents.
An essay from an avid hiker about how his experiences maintaining hiking trails taught him to think of community as a shared, daily effort in the service of others.
An essay from a student who moved countries multiple times reflecting on what in each place contributed to creating a cohesive community.

All the examples are different, but share one thing in common: using your personal experiences to reflect on your role in a diverse community.

For successful examples of Diversity/community essays, check out the first Princeton essay and the first three UMich essays in the free collection below!

How to write Harvard’s second essay: Disagreement

Here’s the second supplemental prompt:

Describe a time when you strongly disagreed with someone about an idea or issue. How did you communicate or engage with this person? What did you learn from this experience?

This is Harvard’s version of the “difficult conversation” or “disagreement” prompt that some schools ask. Ultimately, admissions officers ask this question for two main reasons.

First is to see whether you’re a person who can productively deal with people who have different views for you.

The second is to see if if you’re able to write about potentially complex issues in a mature, self-aware way. Below, see our three tips for approaching this essay.

If choosing the second essay question for your supplemental essay, you’ll want to tread carefully. Naturally, these “difficult conversation” prompts tend to invite essays about political or social issues.

Don’t come off arrogant

Many of us have strong beliefs about current issues. If that’s the case for you, that’s a good thing! Elite universities like passionate students.

But you need to avoid sounding like someone who is arrogant, cocky, or incapable of listening to others’ viewpoints. Remember: this is one of the key things Harvard admissions officers are looking out for. Even if they might agree with you, they’re making sure you’re able to be productive and civil in difficult situations.

This is more difficult than you might think. Many students believe that they’re coming off as passionate or dedicated when in reality their essay makes them sound intolerant or angry.

Don’t be a pushover

There’s a flip side to that coin: you also don’t want to be someone who has no firm convictions.

For example, many student responses to this kind of supplemental essay question end by simply saying that “the truth is somewhere in the middle” or “you have to respect everyone’s opinion.”

While that’s better than coming off intolerant, it still isn’t great. Schools like Harvard want students who will stand up for what they believe.

If your essay is about you immediately changing your beliefs because someone argues with you, you might come off as someone who doesn’t care much about anything.

It’s a really, really tough line to walk. That’s why we always recommend working with one of our college essay experts , who can guide you away from giving the wrong impression in your supplemental essays.

Some issues are better left avoided

If you are going to take a strong stance on an issue in this essay, you need to make sure your viewpoint isn’t extreme enough to alienate admissions officers.

We won’t go through an exhaustive list here, but it pays to know your audience. Is the political or social belief you’re expressing here the kind of thing that Harvard admissions officers would find distasteful?

If so, you’re at risk for sinking your application then and there. If you’re not sure, then you need to do more research first. Or, you can reach out to us for expert guidance from a one-on-one tutor! Almost all our tutors attend Ivy League schools, so they can tell you exactly what works and why.

And that’s it! Do all of the above, and you’ll have the second of Harvard’s supplemental essays locked down tight–plus, you’ll have a great template for any other schools that ask the same question.

Ready to get started? A great resource to begin with is our collection of real, successful supplemental essays, many of which answer similar prompts. For stellar examples of essays that discuss intellectual experiences, check out the last supplemental essay for Princeton, as well as the first sample essay for UPenn.

How to write Harvard’s third essay: Extracurricular

Harvard’s third supplemental essay is a classic one: the Extracurricular essay. You’re pretty much guaranteed to see a version of this prompt for a few of your schools. For reference, the exact wording of Harvard’s is below:

Briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are.

These essays usually come quite naturally to students, since the Extracurricular prompt lets you get into more detail about something on your resume/activities sheet.

Although you may be tempted to simply write about the most “impressive” thing on your resume, we’d encourage you to think a little bit differently: the question here, as with every essay, is about what the best story you can tell is.

You should especially think about how much more your essay can add on to what the activities list already shows. For example, if your team won first place at a national Quizbowl competition, that’s definitely impressive. But is there a story there? More to the point: is the story you tell going to add something meaningful beyond the fact that you took home the first place trophy?

If not, then Quizbowl can stay on your activities list: the Harvard admissions committee will still know you got first place, and you’ll be able to use this supplemental essay to instead provide added detail and color to an activity that might otherwise seem less impressive.

We’ve included a sample below from an essay in response to one of Princeton’s previous prompts.

Over the pandemic, I tutored two middle school boys. Now, I love kids, but middle schoolers are not my number one favorites. They are often dismissive of authority and it’s very hard to hold their attention for longer than two minutes. So working with them on Zoom for an hour became my new challenge. I tried many tactics. When fun warm-ups, writing prompts, and Zoom games all failed, I was officially stumped. I couldn’t understand why they found me so uninteresting. I decided to pay closer attention to the passions they mentioned. Instead of imposing my own ideas, I listened to what they had to say. It turned out Lucian loved running. Getting him to read was like pulling teeth, but I found a Jason Reynolds book called Ghost, part of a series about a track team. We would spend ten or fifteen minutes at the beginning of each session reading it aloud to each other, and while he seemed to be engaged, I couldn’t tell exactly how much he was enjoying it. But when we finally finished, he asked me shyly, “What did you say the next one was called?” Sajiah proved to be tougher to please. He wasn’t swayed by any books I suggested to him, no matter the topic. He often hummed or rapped while working, which I found to be endlessly annoying, until I started listening to the actual words. I Googled the lyrics and noticed that he particularly enjoyed Grandmaster Flash and Afrika Bambaataa. So we began a project investigating the origins of hip hop, and created a website as the final product. He loved finding out more about the music he listened to every day, and I loved seeing him so happy with his work. I don’t pretend I saved the world by helping these boys, but I am proud of the creative way I found projects and topics they genuinely enjoyed investigating. I hope to continue working with children as a form of civic engagement throughout college and beyond; if I can help students like Sajiah and Lucian, it’ll be well worth it.

Notice that the extracurricular itself (tutoring two young students) isn’t inherently impressive, but the story is. If the author just left this on their activities sheet, it probably wouldn’t have caught admissions officers’ attention.

But, because this applicant was able to tell a meaningful, reflective story about this extracurricular activity, it added a new depth and perspective to their application as a whole.

The third Harvard supplemental essay doesn’t have to be difficult: stay honest, stay direct, and tell your story.

To read other responses to this very prompt (and many other sample supplemental essays), download our collection below. And if you’d like the guidance of one of our expert tutors (some of whom wrote the very essays in that packet), just contact us .

How to write Harvard’s fourth essay: Putting your education to use

Although this question may feel oddly specific, it’s really just another version of a commonly asked question: what are you going to do with what you learn? Most frequently, this is a question asked by religious universities, or universities with a particular focus on service.

While the answer doesn’t have to present you as somebody who will spend their whole life volunteering, it’s a good idea to reflect a bit on what the purpose of education is for you, and how you might be able to present that in a socially-minded, positive way.

Below, check out the prompt and some advice on what Harvard admissions officers are looking for.

How do you hope to use your Harvard education in the future?

There are probably some obvious answers you could give here that (even if they’re true) should probably stay off the page. Saying you want to use your Harvard education to make a ton of money on Wall Street or make elite political connections isn’t likely to win you any admiration from the admissions officers.

That being said, don’t try too hard to pass yourself off as someone you’re not. If you really do have a passion for service or politics and plan to pursue a major related to those ideas, then this essay will be quite straightforward for you. Describe what drives you and how the tools Harvard provides will help you achieve those socially-minded goals.

For example, if you’re motivated to address systemic inequities in education and plan to study something like sociology, you could simply discuss where this motivation comes from and how a Harvard sociology degree would help you in your goals. The strongest essays will always come from these kinds of stories.

If, on the other hand, you don’t have those kinds of motivations or background, you’ll likely want to focus this essay more broadly on how you plan to pursue your post-grad life. Ideally, you’ll find some way to thread in ideas about community, giving back, and service into this essay.

This can be a big-picture, or not. You might talk about how a Harvard education will help you support your family, or how it can help you give back to the local community you come from. As long as you keep your essay specific and honest without trying to overdo your charitable intentions, you’ll be fine.

How to write Harvard’s fifth essay: Roommates

Ah, a classic roommate essay! Although this might seem like an offbeat or wacky question, you’ll find there’s a few colleges that ask you to share something with your future roommates. Why?

Well, basically because they want to make sure you’re a fairly sociable person who’ll get along with people.

Top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you.

You can and should have fun with these essays, and can even frame them as letters to your roommate. It’s an opportunity for you to share fun facts or quirks about yourself, sure, but more than anything these essays are a chance for you to show that you’re mindful of others.

Whatever specific facts you include here, be sure to make some of them about you as a community member. For example, if you’re an engineering whiz, you can definitely talk about how you like to tinker and take stuff apart. But, to really make this land with Harvard’s admissions committee, you could also mention how that means you’ll always be ready to help your roommate fix a broken laptop.

The key idea is to show that your quirks, whatever they are, will have some positive impact on the people around you.

Be humble, be playful, but don’t forget what this is all about: you’re trying to convince Harvard you’d be a good person to have around for four years. First and foremost that means showing them that you’d be a conscientious roommate who’s mindful of others’ needs.

If you’re applying to Harvard, the place to start is our comprehensive guide to the Harvard application for the 2024-2025 cycle, which you can find here. That guide doesn’t just cover what Harvard’s application requires of you: it uses the latest statistics and insights from our own Harvard undergraduate tutors to walk you through exactly what you’ll need to do to have a shot at Harvard.

Once you’re ready to start writing supplemental essays for Harvard and your other schools, we have two main pieces of advice.

First: read real, successful sample supplemental essays that helped get students into Harvard and other hyper-selective schools. Most people don’t really know what schools like Harvard actually want from the supplemental essays, and the best solution is to spend lots of time reviewing sample essays.

We’ve collected over 50 successful examples of these essays in the free resource below.

Second: get expert help. Whether you’re a brilliant writer or just an okay one, you’ll benefit tremendously from the advice of someone who’s already successfully navigated the college application process.

Our college essay coaches aren’t just writing experts who can make your essay shine: they’re trained to know exactly what schools like Harvard expect to see .

Check out the free sample essays below, and, when you’re ready to start writing, contact us to get paired with a college essay expert.

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How To Answer Harvard's 2023/24 Supplemental Essays: Tips & Insights

What's New in 2023/24

What are Harvard's Essay Prompts?

How to Answer Harvard's Essay Prompts

General Guidelines

Explore the changes in Harvard's supplemental essay prompts for 2023/24, understand the nuances of each question, and gain insights on crafting compelling responses with our detailed guide, complete with expert tips and links to successful Harvard essay examples.

Harvard's 2023/24 Supplemental Essay Updates: What's Changed?

Gaining admission to Harvard is no small feat, with acceptance rates sometimes plummeting as low as 3% . In such a competitive environment, every component of your application, especially your essay, becomes a crucial tool to stand out to admissions officers.

Every year, top-tier universities like Harvard fine-tune their application process to get a deeper understanding of their applicants. For the 2023/24 admissions cycle, Harvard University has made notable modifications to its supplemental essay questions .

Last year, applicants had a mix of required and optional prompts, with varying word limits, ranging from 50 to 150 words. These prompts touched on extracurricular activities, intellectual experiences, personal backgrounds, and more.

This year, Harvard has streamlined the process, requiring all applicants to answer five questions, each with a strict 200-word limit . The questions emphasize the importance of diversity, intellectual experiences, extracurricular activities, the utilization of a Harvard education, and personal insights for potential roommates.

This shift indicates a desire for more concise, focused responses from applicants, allowing the admissions committee to gain a clearer, more uniform understanding of each student's background, aspirations, and personality.

What Are Harvard’s Supplemental Essay Prompts for 2023/24?

For the 2023/24 application cycle, Harvard University has outlined specific supplemental essay prompts to understand applicants better in addition to the Common App or Coalition App questions. These questions delve into your experiences, intellectual pursuits, and personal insights. Students are required to answer each Harvard-specific question in under 200 words. Here's a breakdown of the prompts:

Diversity and Contribution : Harvard values a diverse student body. Reflect on your life experiences and explain how they have shaped you and how you plan to contribute to Harvard. (200 words)
Intellectual Experience : Discuss an intellectual experience that has had a significant impact on you. (200 words)
Personal Shaping Experiences : Elaborate on extracurricular activities, employment, travel, or family responsibilities that have played a pivotal role in defining who you are. (200 words)
Future Aspirations : Describe how you envision utilizing your Harvard education in the future. (200 words)
Getting to Know You : List three things your future roommates should know about you. (200 words)

These prompts offer applicants a chance to showcase their personalities, aspirations, and experiences, providing a holistic view of their candidacy.

Looking for inspiration? Dive into these Harvard essay examples to see what successful applications look like!

How to Answer Harvard’s Supplemental Essay Questions?

This guide aims to help you craft a compelling response that showcases your unique journey and potential contributions to Harvard's diverse community.

As you begin planning responses to each individual prompt, be sure to consider what experiences, reflections, and qualities you want to showcase once you’ve responded to all the prompts:

Ensure you won’t leave out any important experiences, reflections, and qualities you want Harvard to know about.
Be sure you’ll avoid repeating the same experiences, reflections, or qualities in the other prompts.

Answering Prompt 1

“harvard values a diverse student body. reflect on your life experiences and explain how they have shaped you and how you plan to contribute to harvard.”, - 200 words or fewer, 1. understand the question.

Harvard is not merely asking for a list of experiences. They want to understand the depth of your experiences , how they've molded your character, and how you'll use that growth to contribute to the Harvard community.

Since Harvard is telling you they value diversity, consider emphasizing unique experiences or circumstances that highlight the most personal and profound aspects of your personality, values, and perspectives.

2. Reflect on Your Unique Experiences

Consider moments in your life that have had a significant impact on your worldview:

Have you lived in multiple countries, exposing you to various cultures?
Did you overcome challenges that forced you to view the world differently?
Were there pivotal moments in your upbringing that shaped your identity?
How did interactions with diverse individuals or groups influence your perspectives?

3. Dive Deep into Personal Growth

Discuss the evolution of your perspectives, values, or aspirations.

How did these experiences challenge your beliefs or expand your understanding?
What lessons did you derive, and how have they influenced your subsequent actions or decisions?
What experiences or reflections shape your deepest beliefs and values? — or, shape some deep questions or doubts you wrestle with?

4. Connect to Harvard

Consider how your unique perspective will enrich Harvard's community .

Will you introduce new viewpoints in classroom discussions or help teams work together more successfully?
Will you contribute to or initiate student organizations or community projects?
Will you exemplify certain traits that enhance a vibrant, curious, and inclusive learning environment?

5. Be Concise and Authentic

With a 200-word limit, precision is key. Ensure your narrative is genuine, making your essay resonate with the reader. Avoid generic statements; instead, provide specific examples that showcase your journey.

Harvard's first supplemental essay is an opportunity to showcase the depth of your experiences and how they've shaped you . Reflecting on significant moments, emphasizing personal growth, and connecting your unique perspective to how you'll contribute to Harvard is essential. Remember to be concise, authentic, and ensure your essay is polished to perfection.

Answering Prompt 2

“discuss an intellectual experience that has had a significant impact on you.”.

This question aims to help you articulate the depth and significance of an intellectual experience and its profound impact on your academic and personal journey.

1. Define "Intellectual Experience"

Before diving in, understand that an intellectual experience isn't limited to classroom learning . It could be:

A book that changed your perspective
A conversation that challenged your beliefs
An experience that triggered a profound insight or understanding
Or even a personal project or research endeavor

2. Choose a Meaningful Experience

Reflect on experiences that genuinely transformed your thinking:

Was there a particular course or project that ignited a passion?
Did a specific book, article, or documentary challenge your pre-existing beliefs?
Have you attended seminars, workshops, or lectures that introduced you to new ideas?

3. Delve into the "Why"

Discuss why this experience was transformative:

What preconceptions or beliefs did it challenge?
How did it expand or deepen your understanding of a particular subject or idea?
Did it inspire further exploration or study into the topic?

4. Highlight Personal Growth

Describe how this intellectual experience influenced your academic and personal journey:

Did it guide your academic pursuits or career aspirations?
How did it shape your values, beliefs, or worldview?

5. Be Authentic and Reflective

Your genuine curiosity and passion should shine through. Avoid using jargon or overly complex language. Instead, focus on genuine reflection and personal growth .

Harvard's second supplemental essay seeks to understand your intellectual journey . It's an opportunity to showcase your curiosity, passion, and the transformative power of learning. By reflecting on a significant intellectual experience and its impact on you, you can demonstrate your academic depth, your own intellectual processes and aptitudes, and intellectual growth.

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Answering Prompt 3

“elaborate on extracurricular activities, employment, travel, or family responsibilities that have played a pivotal role in defining who you are.”.

This question is designed to help you articulate the significance of experiences outside the classroom and their profound impact on your personal journey.

1. Prioritize Depth Over Quantity

While you might have multiple experiences, focus on one or two that have had the most profound impact on you . This allows you to delve deeper and provide a more insightful reflection.

2. Choose a Defining Experience

Reflect on moments that genuinely shaped your character:

Was there an extracurricular activity that taught you leadership, teamwork, or dedication?
Did a job teach you responsibility, time management, or the value of hard work?
Has travel exposed you to diverse cultures, broadening your perspectives?
Were there family responsibilities that instilled in you a sense of maturity, empathy, or resilience?

3. Describe the Experience

Briefly set the scene. Whether it's the bustling environment of a part-time job, the challenges of a leadership role in a club, or the nuances of a family responsibility, paint a picture for the reader.

4. Reflect on the Impact

Discuss how this experience influenced your personal growth:

What challenges did you face, and how did you overcome them?
What skills or values did you acquire or strengthen?
How did this experience shape your aspirations, perspectives, or values?

5. Connect to the Present

Highlight how this experience continues to influence you:

How do the lessons you learned guide your current decisions or actions?
How has it influenced your academic interests or future aspirations?

Harvard's third supplemental essay is an opportunity to showcase experiences outside the classroom that have significantly influenced your personal growth . Reflecting on these pivotal moments and their lasting impact can provide a holistic picture of your character, values, and aspirations.

Answering Prompt 4

“describe how you envision utilizing your harvard education in the future.”.

This question aims to help you articulate how a Harvard education aligns with your future goals and the impact you aim to make in your chosen field or community.

1. Reflect on Your Goals

Begin by identifying your long-term aspirations . Have a clear vision in mind, whether it's a specific career, a desire to address a global challenge, or a passion you wish to pursue further.

2. Highlight Harvard's Unique Offerings

Research specific programs, courses, or opportunities at Harvard that align with your goals. This could be a particular academic program, research opportunities, or extracurricular activities.

3. Draw a Connection

Discuss how these unique offerings will equip you with the skills, knowledge, or experiences needed to achieve your future aspirations . Make it evident that Harvard is the ideal place for you to realize these goals.

4. Go Beyond the Obvious

While Harvard's academic excellence is a given, delve into the broader Harvard experience. Consider the influence of its diverse community, its culture of innovation, or its commitment to leadership and service.

5. Discuss the Broader Impact

Expand on how you plan to use your Harvard education to make a difference . Whether it's in your community, in a particular field, or on a global scale, showcase your commitment to creating positive change.

6. Stay Authentic

Ensure your response is genuine and reflects your true aspirations. Admissions officers can discern genuine passion and commitment from generic responses.

Harvard's fourth supplemental essay is an opportunity to showcase your forward-thinking approach and how you plan to leverage Harvard's resources to achieve your future goals. By drawing a clear connection between what Harvard offers and your aspirations, you demonstrate a purposeful approach to your education.

Answering Prompt 5

“list three things your future roommates should know about you.”.

This question aims to help you present a genuine and well-rounded picture of yourself, offering insights into your personality, habits, and values.

1. Reflect on Your Personality

This prompt is an invitation to share more about your personal side. Think about the quirks, habits, or values that define you. What are the things that make you, well, you?

2. Balance Seriousness with Lightness

While one point could be a deep reflection of your values or beliefs, another could be a fun fact or a unique hobby. This mix gives a rounded picture of who you are.

3. Be Genuine

Avoid coming up with things you believe the admissions committee wants to hear. This is your chance to let your true self shine through.

4. Consider Your Daily Life

Think about your habits or routines, the music you listen to, or the books you read. These can offer insights into your personality and preferences.

5. Reflect on Past Living Experiences

Have you shared a space with someone before — roommate, sibling, family members, fellow campers?… Think about what made the experience harmonious. Were there particular habits, routines, or guiding principles you followed that were appreciated by those you were sharing space with?

Harvard's fifth supplemental essay is a chance to showcase your personality beyond academics and extracurriculars . By sharing genuine aspects of yourself related to day-to-day living and the many small ways you interact with those around you in more personal spaces, you give a glimpse into your life outside the classroom and what it might be like to share a living space with you.

5 Tips for the "Why This School?" Essay

General Guidelines for Crafting Stellar Harvard Supplemental Essays

1. Understand the Question: Before you start writing, ensure you fully understand what the prompt is asking. Break it down and consider its nuances. This will help you stay on track and address all aspects of the question.

2. Be Authentic: Harvard isn't just looking for high achievers; they're looking for genuine individuals. Your essay should reflect your true self, not what you think the admissions committee wants to hear.

3. Show, Don't Tell: Instead of just stating facts or beliefs, use anecdotes, experiences, or stories to convey your points. This makes your essay more engaging and paints a clearer picture of who you are.

4. Stay Within the Word Limit: While it might be tempting to write more, respect the word limits. It shows that you can convey your thoughts concisely and respect guidelines.

5. Proofread and Edit: Always review your essay multiple times for clarity, coherence, and grammar. Consider also asking a teacher, mentor, or friend to review it.

6. Connect to Harvard: While the prompts might not explicitly ask for it, subtly showing why your experiences, values, or aspirations align with Harvard's culture or offerings can be a plus.

7. Reflect on Growth: Colleges love to see personal growth. Reflect on how experiences have shaped you, lessons learned, and how you've evolved.

8. Avoid Repetition: Ensure that your supplemental essays present new information and don't repeat what's already in your Common App essay or other parts of your application.

9. Be Forward-Looking: While it's essential to reflect on past experiences, also touch on how these experiences prepare you for future endeavors, especially at Harvard.

10. Start Early: Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, draft, and revise. Starting early reduces stress and allows you to approach the essay with a clear mind.

Remember, the supplemental essays are an opportunity to showcase aspects of yourself that aren't evident in other parts of your application . Use them wisely to provide a holistic picture of yourself and why you'd be a great fit for Harvard.

Final Thoughts

The journey to Harvard is more than just academic prowess; it's about crafting a narrative that resonates deeply with the admissions committee. Your supplemental essays provide a unique window into your personality, aspirations, and the distinct perspectives you'll bring to the Harvard community.

Every Harvard aspirant has a story waiting to be told. This is your moment to share yours. Approach your essays with authenticity, introspection, and a genuine passion for your narrative.

If you're wondering whether your essay truly captures your essence or if it stands out from the multitude of applications, our essay review service is here to help. Our team of experts will meticulously review and provide feedback to refine your essay, ensuring it resonates with admissions officers. For further inspiration, delve into our ebook , which showcases essays from students who clinched spots at top universities. And if Harvard is your dream, these successful Harvard essay examples will provide invaluable insights.

For those just starting their college application journey, consider booking a free consultation with our seasoned college counselors. We're dedicated to guiding you in creating an application that significantly enhances your chances of donning the Crimson colors. Harvard is within reach, and we're here to help you every step of the way.

What Makes Crimson Different

Key Resources & Further Reading

Everything you need to know about US Application Supplemental Essays
Acing your College Application Essay: 5 Expert Tips to Make it Stand Out from the Rest
How to Tackle Every Type of Supplemental Essay
2023-24 Common App Essay Prompts
What are the Most Unusual US College Supplemental Essay Prompts?

How to answer stanford's 2024/2025 supplemental essays: tips & insights.

Your Ultimate Guide to the Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay Prompt 2024

How To Answer UPenn's 2024/25 Supplemental Essays: Tips & Insights

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Harvard University Supplemental Essay 2024-25 Prompt Guide

If Harvard is one of your top-choice schools, you may be wondering how you can make your application stand out to the admissions committee. This is where your college essays come in. If done well, they can set you above other applicants. However, these essay prompts require short, creative answers, which is not an easy task. Keep reading to learn more about Harvard’s supplemental essays for the 2024-25 admissions cycle and how to craft them.

How Important Are the Harvard Supplemental Essays?

Writing a compelling personal essay as part of the Common Application or Coalition Application is one way for Harvard to get to know you. However, the additional prompts provided by Harvard University are meant for the admissions committee to learn even more about who you are, what you hope to get out of Harvard, and what contributions you can make to the campus community both personally and academically.

Most admissions committees, including Harvard’s, review applications holistically, which is why college essays matter . While academic performance is important, the other parts of your application, such as your essays and activities list, are what differentiate you from other students who submit comparable transcripts and test scores.

How Many Essays Does Harvard Require in 2024?

Students applying for admission to Harvard College — the undergraduate college at Harvard University — during the 2024-25 admissions cycle are required to respond to five supplemental essays. Each response should be no more than 150 words, so the challenge is to write a brief essay that tells a compelling story about you. Just keep in mind that each response should convey something new and interesting about you that isn’t mentioned elsewhere in your application.

How Hard Is It to Get into Harvard in 2024?

Harvard is one of the most selective schools in the U.S. The acceptance rate for Harvard College was only 3.66% for the class of 2028, with similarly low admissions rates the previous few years. Understanding how to get into Harvard can help you prepare for the highly competitive admissions process. Ensuring you meet all the academic requirements and getting a head start on your essays can be crucial to your success.

When Should I Apply for Harvard in 2024?

Harvard offers both Restrictive Early Action (REA) and Regular Decision options. While applying early to college can sometimes help your chances of admission, you should only do so if you can submit a strong application. Many students opt to wait for the Regular Decision deadline to give themselves time to submit stronger grades and test scores.

The Harvard application deadlines are:


Restrictive Early Action	November 1, 2024	Mid-December
Regular Decision	January 1, 2025	End of March

Learn more about the different types of Early Action and whether applying early is right for you.

Harvard Supplemental Essays 2024-25

These supplemental essays give you a good idea of what Harvard values, such as personal development, intellectual activities, and the positive impact you have made on your community. Your responses should demonstrate how your experiences, passions, and responsibilities have shaped you and influenced your view of the world. Let’s look at each prompt and how you might respond.

Supplemental Essay Prompt #1

Harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. How will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to Harvard?

Like many other colleges and universities, Harvard responded to the Supreme Court’s 2023 ruling on affirmative action by adding a prompt that will allow students to discuss aspects of their background that may not be considered elsewhere in their application — like race, for example.

Your response to this essay should connect your experiences and life lessons with the ways you plan to contribute to the diverse campus community. Diversity can take many forms: religion, race, culture, sexual orientation, gender identity, way of thinking, etc. If you don’t feel like you fall into any of these categories personally, then write about how your experiences with diverse individuals and groups impacted you. The example below may help you think about ways to answer this prompt.

Growing up in a multicultural household, I’ve experienced a blend of traditions, perspectives, and languages that laid the foundation for my commitment to inclusivity.

In high school, I co-founded a cultural exchange club, providing a platform for students to share their unique backgrounds. This experience taught me the power of dialogue in breaking down barriers and fostering empathy.

Participating in community service programs exposed me to the challenges faced by marginalized populations. I sought opportunities to advocate for equitable access to education and resources. This deepened my understanding of the complexities surrounding diversity.

At Harvard, I’m eager to promote an environment where all perspectives are valued. Whether through campus organizations, classroom discussions, or community outreach, I’m committed to nurturing an inclusive space where every student feels heard and supported. I look forward to learning and collaborating with my peers to create a campus culture that celebrates diversity and individuality.

Supplemental Essay Prompt #2

Describe a time when you strongly disagreed with someone about an idea or issue. How did you communicate or engage with this person? What did you learn from this experience?

Colleges like Harvard are looking for students who can engage with others thoughtfully and respectfully, even when opinions clash. View this prompt as an opportunity to demonstrate your critical thinking, communication skills, and maturity. The admissions committee is interested in how you navigate conflicts, particularly when dealing with differing perspectives. This could involve debates on social, political, or personal issues, or disagreements in a collaborative setting like a group project.

When responding, focus on showing your ability to listen, articulate your own views, and engage in constructive dialogue. Highlight your personal growth, revealing how the experience shaped your understanding of others and improved your ability to work in diverse environments — qualities that are valuable in a college setting.

During a group project in my history class, my teammate proposed a controversial viewpoint on colonialism, suggesting it was a net positive for the countries colonized. I strongly disagreed, believing this perspective overlooked the oppression and exploitation that occurred.

Instead of dismissing their argument outright, I chose to engage in a constructive dialogue. I listened carefully to their points, asking questions to understand their reasoning. Then, I presented historical evidence and perspectives from those affected by colonialism, emphasizing the importance of considering multiple viewpoints.

This exchange taught me the value of respectful disagreement. It reinforced the importance of empathy and open-mindedness when confronting differing opinions. While we didn’t reach full agreement, the conversation deepened both of our understandings of the topic. I learned that meaningful discussions can lead to growth and that engaging with opposing views can strengthen my own beliefs.

Supplemental Essay Prompt #3

Briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are.

This is an opportunity to expand on an activity or experience that had a profound effect on you, especially if it represents what you’re passionate about and how you can contribute to the Harvard community. This prompt presents another opportunity to talk about your background. For example, students from low-income families might write about how they took a job to help contribute to the household.

You are likely to see similar supplemental essay questions for other schools, so this is an ideal one for recycling. However, make sure you tailor your response each time to make it specific to the school — and avoid the common mistake of naming the wrong school in your response! The following example can give you an idea of how you might approach this essay.

Volunteering at my local food bank has significantly shaped me and my view of the world. What started as an extracurricular activity quickly became a passion.

As I packed boxes and distributed food, I encountered people from all walks of life. Hearing their stories opened my eyes to the challenges many face and instilled in me a deep sense of empathy and social responsibility. This experience also fueled my desire to pursue social justice and community service. I learned the importance of giving back and how even the smallest acts of kindness can make a significant impact.

Beyond volunteering, this experience shaped my perspective on privilege and gratitude, reminding me of the power of community and collective effort. The lessons I learned at the food bank continue to influence my actions and aspirations, inspiring me to be a positive force in the world.

Supplemental Essay Prompt #4

How do you hope to use your Harvard education in the future?

Your response to this prompt will require some research about academic programs, faculty, and opportunities at Harvard. It may be challenging to imagine how you’ll apply your college education to the real world, so think about your current goals and the learning outcomes for your program(s) of interest. How are they relevant to your future career and/or in everyday life? The example below demonstrates why the student wants to major in history and how they plan to apply what they learn as an educator.

Driven by a passion for understanding the past and its influence on the present, I aspire to leverage my Harvard education for a career in historical research, education, and advocacy. As a Venezuelan, I’m particularly interested in uncovering untold narratives, such as Venezuela’s historical ties with the U.S. and the impact of U.S. sanctions on our economy.

History is a powerful tool for social change, and I aim to challenge prevailing narratives and promote inclusivity. I see myself as an educator, inspiring future generations to explore the complexities of our world’s past.

Through public history projects with museums, archives, and community organizations, I plan to make history accessible and relevant to a wider audience. Harvard will equip me with the skills and resources to contribute to preserving and understanding our collective past.

Supplemental Essay Prompt #5

Top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you.

This is an opportunity to be a little less formal in your response — just remember that the admissions committee is reading this. What do you want them to know about you in terms of your personality, daily habits, passion projects, hobbies, etc.? This is an opportunity to share things that aren’t mentioned anywhere else on your application so the committee can get a little more insight into who you are and what makes you tick. Check out this example for a little inspiration.

The first thing my roommates should know about me is my sense of curiosity and eagerness to embrace new experiences. Whether it’s trying different cuisines, picking up a new instrument, or engaging in thought-provoking discussions, I’m always eager to learn and grow from every encounter.

Secondly, I’m passionate about mental health awareness and believe in creating a supportive, nurturing environment. My roommates can count on me to be a compassionate listener, a source of encouragement, and someone who values their mental and emotional health. I am committed to fostering a positive and empathetic atmosphere in our shared space.

Lastly, I have a deep love for the arts, especially music. I enjoy playing various musical instruments, and I’m always up for impromptu jam sessions or attending concerts. Music has been a source of solace and joy in my life, and I’m excited to share that passion with my roommates.

If writer’s block is keeping you from responding to your essay prompts, get personalized help from a professional college counselor . IvyWise college admissions counselors have served as Directors and Deans of admissions at some of the most elite colleges in the world, so they know how to craft essays that make you stand out.

Harvard Essays Examples

Harvard essays examples .

One of the most important parts of the college application process is the essay section. Especially when you’re looking at applying to Harvard , or any of the Ivy League schools, your essays need to stand out. Looking at Harvard essays examples can help give you an idea of Harvard essays that worked and stood out to the admissions team.

Many students find the Harvard essays, or any school’s essays, to be the most stressful part of applying. Reading plenty of Harvard essays examples can help to alleviate that stress. Understanding strong points of Harvard essays that worked will allow you to craft the most competitive application possible.

In this Harvard Essays Example article, we’ll look at:

The Harvard essay requirements, from topic to word count
Various Harvard essays examples from past years
How to approach, plan, and write the Harvard essays
What admissions officers look for in Harvard essays
Advice for transfer essays

Before we dive into some Harvard essays that worked, let’s understand the Harvard essay requirements.

How many essays do you have to write for Harvard?

Harvard requires applicants to complete a total of six essays: five supplemental essays and the personal statement . The personal statement prompt will be based on the application platform you are using, such as the Common Application or Coalition Application. Most students use the Common App platform and complete the Common App essay , choosing the prompt that most speaks to them.

In addition to the personal statement, students must also submit five short answer Harvard application essays. Each of these Harvard essays has a 200 word maximum. This article focuses on Harvard essays examples for those shorter essays.

What are the Harvard essay requirements?

We know that applicants are required to complete the Common App personal statement in addition to five Harvard essay prompts. Now, we’ll take a look at the current Harvard essay prompts. However, keep in mind that the Harvard essays can change. Be sure to double check the admissions site for the most up-to-date information.

Here are the current Harvard essay prompts:

Harvard University Essay Prompts

1. harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. how will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to harvard, 2. briefly describe an intellectual experience that was important to you. , 3. briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are., 4. how do you hope to use your harvard education in the future, 5. top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you. .

Next, we’re going to look at some Harvard essays that worked. Keep in mind that reading and analyzing Harvard essay examples can be very helpful when writing your own college essays. These Harvard essay examples, even if not for current essay prompts, can provide insights into writing outstanding essays to impress Harvard admissions.

Harvard Diversity Essay Examples

All universities want to have a diverse student body. Diversity brings unique perspectives to campus that can promote important conversations. In recent years, more and more universities have students write a diversity or community essay .

Let’s take a look at the first of our Harvard essays examples, which writes about diversity at Harvard.

Harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. How will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to Harvard?

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town of 1.8 square miles called Highland Park, NJ. HP has convinced me that we can build institutions that are strong and united while embracing a wide variety of voices and perspectives. It has shaped my core values of diversity and inclusion. An English teacher used to encourage me to talk in front of the class by saying even if I believed my thoughts were “dumb,” I could only enrich the conversation. From my experiences debating in Model UN conferences, I have grown accustomed to being able to present viewpoints from both sides of the argument and to being able to incorporate and respect the viewpoints of all sides of an issue before making up my own mind.

At Harvard, I will seek to continue my contributions as an active participant in the community and look to actively provide unique perspectives and insights. I will actively participate in student life and engage in public service, such as helping provide after-school tutoring and joining health awareness campaigns. I look forward to a new set of unique experiences at Harvard University.

Why this essay worked

In this diversity essay, the student does an excellent job of clearly and specifically answering the prompt. The use of statistics and experiences specific to the student’s hometown makes it clear that this is no generic response. Additionally, the statistics support the student’s point that they come from a diverse community, while their examples illustrate their character.

Later, the student speaks about how they have shared their unique perspectives. While doing this, the student also shows that they are active in extracurriculars. Furthermore, they show that they are able to bring their learnings from debating in Model UN into the real world.

Finally, the student shows how they will bring diversity to Harvard’s campus. Admissions teams want to know how you’ll positively impact their campus. This student specifically states how they will be an active member of the student body and Harvard community. Clear goals and areas of interest are a common feature of successful Harvard essays examples.

Harvard Essay Example – Intellectual Experience

To get into a competitive school like Harvard University , students will need to do much more than simply meet the Harvard requirements. This is where your Harvard essays come into play. Each of the Harvard application essays should show that you are a motivated, curious person, especially the intellectual experience essay.

Now, let’s take a look at the second of the Harvard essay examples:

Briefly describe an intellectual experience that was important to you.

One of the most valuable experiences I have had was at the Rutgers University WINLAB internship. While I was moderately fluent in many programming languages like Java and C++, I rarely utilized those skills in a real-life setting. In the First Person View Self-Driving Car project, we had to code and revise programs to control the car from our computers effectively. I found the application of computing theory in this project to be much more sophisticated than I anticipated, and some model revisions that would work in theory did not produce the anticipated result.

From this experience, I realized that the real-life applications in STEM are much more sophisticated and challenging to work out than expected. From my two summers at the Harvard Summer School, I was impressed by the depth of the courses I’ve taken. In Introduction to C++ for Programmers (CSCI 3-38), we built our own games through C++ as the final project, which concurs with the highly practical nature of Harvard University’s curriculums. This gives me tremendous confidence that Harvard University is where I can learn the skills I need to prosper. I’m looking forward to new intellectual experiences at Harvard University!

The second of the Harvard essay prompts gives students a lot of room to play with their responses. An “intellectual experience” can mean many things, but it’s a great opportunity to speak to your academic interests. Harvard essays that worked have talked about everything from research experiences to mentorship to self-initiated projects. Ultimately, admissions officers should be able to see that you are driven, curious, and passionate about your topic.

In this essay, the writer shows that they have taken the time to get involved in internships within their field of interest: computer science and programming. By explaining how their experience impacted their real life, the writer shows how the intellectual experience was important to them. Specifically, this student had the important experience of realizing that some things worked in theory, however, not in practice—an important realization especially when working in the STEM field.

Remember that Harvard essays examples strive to provide a full picture of the applicant. This writer not only shares with us their interest in computer science, but also how they’ve grown. It shows that they are willing and ready to try new approaches and expand their horizons.

Harvard Extracurricular Essay Example

Within the Harvard essay requirements, you’ll notice that many of the Harvard essay prompts are similar to what you’ll find on other college applications. Among those popular prompts is the extracurricular essay . This can be a tricky one to answer in a way that isn’t cliché but demonstrates your character.

Let’s see how the third of the Harvard essays examples answers the prompt:

Briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are.

My first encounter with the Red Cross club was during the challenging COVID year, when I stepped up as a freshman and took the position of treasurer. My first blood drive experience being marked by masks, social distancing, and low turnout among donors. Needless to say, it was not the greatest first high school service experience for me, and I admittedly started to doubt if the time I spent on this front was worth it.

However, as we returned in person, things quickly turned around. As the vice president of the club, I helped recruit more than twice the club membership compared to the previous year, and our blood drives regained form; our blood targets have been exceeded every time since. Organizing and participating in blood drives has become a passion. It’s fulfilling, especially when I personally donate, to know that I’m actively serving the community and saving lives. Despite my relatively young age, I am capable of making an impact through public service. I plan to continue my commitment to the Red Cross’s adult program and participate in service programs like the Phillips Brooks House Association to serve the local Harvard community and abroad.

Similar to all of the Harvard essay prompts, this one allows students many ways to answer. The student mentions their position as vice president of the Red Cross club, which shows their capacity and willingness to take on a leadership role. They also highlighted the doubt they faced, demonstrating an instance of overcoming a challenge.

These Harvard essay prompts ask about formative experiences you’ve had beyond the classroom to demonstrate what kind of impact you’ll have on campus. This student does an excellent job of specifying the type of extracurricular activity that they plan to get involved in at Harvard: Phillips Brooks House Association. By mentioning the specific club, we know the student has done their research and knows their extracurricular interests. Furthermore, the club they choose is service-based, similar to the Red Cross club that forms the foundation of the essay.

Using Your Harvard Education Essay

In the other Harvard essays examples, students show the qualities that they will bring to campus. The fourth of the Harvard essay prompts differs in that it asks students to think about their life after college. Harvard essays that worked for prompts like this speak to both career and larger life goals.

Here is the fourth of our Harvard essays that worked:

How do you hope to use your Harvard education in the future?

I envision my education at Harvard as not just a pursuit of knowledge but also a commitment to leveraging that knowledge for meaningful impact. The diverse and collaborative nature of the Harvard community will play a pivotal role in shaping my perspective and helping me establish the strong connections needed to achieve my goals.

Whether through research initiatives or entrepreneurial ventures, I see myself at the forefront of positive and meaningful change. Harvard University’s education is sophisticated and includes many initiatives that help students including research opportunities (AM 91R & AM 99R) and courses such as Advanced Scientific Computing (APMTH 207). Machine learning, a pivotal technological frontier, stands among many topics shaping the future of technology—an area I am eager to explore. APMTH 207 aligns with my interest in data analysis and optimization, and the highly practical nature of model development will be helpful for any potential job in the future.

I have already applied skills learned from the Harvard Summer School to real-life applications, and I’m confident a Harvard University education will help me do similar. I hope to my skills and knowledge to contribute to a more inclusive, equitable, and sustainable world.

Harvard wants their students to go on to make big impacts in the world. Basically, the fourth of these Harvard essays examples wants to see that you’re motivated, driven, and forward-thinking. This student does an excellent job of clearly and specifically stating how Harvard will allow them to achieve their future goals.

Through this essay, we see that the student has done research on specific course offerings that they plan to take advantage of during their time at Harvard University. And, while the student isn’t positive what kind of career they might have, we know that they are committed to an “inclusive, equitable, and sustainable world.” Even if you aren’t certain of your intended major yet, you can talk about how Harvard will create opportunities for you.

It’s easy to talk solely about academic or career goals in this essay. However, the best Harvard essays examples show how you can contribute to society. What kind of world do you want to help create, and how can Harvard help you get there?

Harvard Roommate Essay

The last of the Harvard essays examples strays slightly from the “typical” college essay prompt. The last of the Harvard essay prompts asks students to reflect on qualities they’d like to share with future roommates. You may have seen similar prompts at other universities. The Harvard roommate essay is a great opportunity to highlight your uniqueness.

Here is the fifth of the Harvard essays examples:

Top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you.

I will definitely let my roommates know that I do not like bread. I have had a psychological impediment to the smell and taste of bread ever since I was sent to the ER when I was six because I ate a piece of rotten bread. Please be aware, future roommates, of keeping the bread contained outside the dorm room unless in extraordinary circumstances.

On a lighter note, my roommates should know that I am a relatively organized person who very much values personal space. I would prefer for all of my roommates to come together to organize basic protocols, such as which areas in the dorm are personal and which are public, and to be on the same page on important issues such as sleeping schedules.

One last thing I’d like my roommates to know about me is that I am a huge card game enjoyer. Blackjack, Poker, Hearts, etc., and even games outside the poker deck such as Uno are games that I love. It’d be great if my roommates shared a similar interest and we could have some nice entertainment during our free time.

This student clearly, concisely, and creatively approaches this Harvard roommate essay. Through this student’s Harvard roommate essay we learn quite a bit about the writer. We know that they are organized and respect others’ personal space, while also being friendly and open to bonding through games. We also learn some quirky qualities that this person has, such as not tolerating bread in closed quarters.

Beyond the surface-level information, let’s look more closely at the tone. The first paragraph is ironically serious, using phrases like “psychological impediment” and “please be aware.” Taking this tone about something like not liking bread opens the essay with a note of humor, which can leave a lasting impression on an admissions officer. Many Harvard essays that worked have made their mark with the writer’s tone and voice.

How do you write a Harvard essay?

The Harvard essays play an important role in the narrative that you’re telling with your application. The previous Harvard essays examples show that it’s important to be true to who you are while completely answering the Harvard essay prompts. Of course, following the Harvard essay requirements is important—you must answer all five of the Harvard essay prompts within 200 words.

Harvard admissions states that they use a holistic evaluation, meaning they consider the whole student and how they’ve experienced the world around them. Think of the Harvard essays not as a challenge, but as an opportunity! They are your chance to speak to your unique strengths, qualities, goals, and experiences. You can expand on activities from other parts of your application or, better yet, introduce new experiences that align with your narrative.

When responding to the Harvard essay prompts, try to share new information. If you decide to expand upon something you’ve already mentioned, be sure to go deeper than before. Show how the experiences, extracurriculars, and academics have impacted you, and how you’ll bring those lessons to Harvard and beyond.

As with all college essays, be sure to get a second (or third, or fourth!) pair of eyes on your Harvard application essays. You want to be sure your Harvard essays are free of grammatical and spelling errors. Additionally, you should ask for feedback from friends and mentors who know you well. They can tell you if your essays sound like your voice and are true to your character.

Does Harvard require a personal statement?

In addition to the five short answer Harvard essays, students must also write the personal statement as a part of the Harvard essay requirements. Again, this essay is an opportunity to add to your application as a whole. Harvard urges students to write about something you care about, rather than focusing on what you think admissions wants to read.

Here are the Common App essay prompts that you can choose from in the 2024–2025 admissions cycle:

Common App Essay Prompts

1. some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. if this sounds like you, then please share your story., 2. the lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. how did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience, 3. reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. what prompted your thinking what was the outcome, 4. reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. how has this gratitude affected or motivated you , 5. discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others., 6. describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. why does it captivate you what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more, 7. share an essay on any topic of your choice. it can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design..

Students may also complete the Coalition Application when applying to Harvard, which has its own personal statement topics. Despite technical differences between the two platforms, they serve the same purpose: to help you show your best self to admissions committees. Do your research and choose the best platform for you.

What does Harvard look for in essays?

The Harvard essays are an opportunity for applicants to share more about themselves that hasn’t been featured elsewhere in the application. You can see what Harvard is interested in from the Harvard essay prompts. According to the Harvard essay prompts, Harvard looks for values such as diversity, intellectual interests, community involvement, self reflection, and personal development. When thinking about your personal narrative , try to show how you exhibit each of these values throughout your application.

All of the Harvard essays examples we reviewed answered each of the prompts in its entirety with specific answers. You don’t want to give generic responses when writing your Harvard essays. For example, in the Harvard roommate essay, the reader should learn more about your unique personality and experiences. In fact, the Harvard roommate essay is an excellent opportunity to show off your writing skills and voice.

Applicants also want to highlight how their experiences and backgrounds have shaped who they are. What will you bring to Harvard? How will Harvard help you achieve both your academic and professional goals? As you can see from the Harvard essays examples, your Harvard essays should be personal and specific.

Tips for International Applicants to Harvard

The application process for international appl i cants is almost identical to first-year applicants. The Harvard essay requirements and other application materials are mostly the same. The biggest difference is that international students need a visa or other required documents to study in the US. This is not unique to Harvard; international applicants should always research required documentation for American college admissions .

When it comes to the Harvard essays examples, they can be equally useful to international students as domestic students. However, international students will likely want to highlight their background and how it will affect their educational experience in the US. Overall, admissions wants to see the same things from international students as those applying within the US. Show that you care about community, are intellectually curious and motivated, and have ambitions to positively impact the world long after graduation.

Harvard Transfer Essay Advice

Gaining admissions to Harvard is difficult, whether as a first year or transfer student. However, acceptance as a transfer student is even more selective. Each year, Harvard accepts an average of 12 transfer students out of over 1,500 applicants. Therefore, writing the best transfer Harvard essays is crucial if you want to have a chance at being accepted.

The Harvard essays examples are good resources to get you started. The Harvard essay prompts are the same for transfer students as first year students. However, you will want to include your experiences at the university level when writing your Harvard application essays. How will Harvard help you meet your academic and professional goals? Why is Harvard the best place for you—what programs and extracurriculars make Harvard your dream school ? As a transfer student, don’t speak negatively about your current school.

Do your best to craft the best application possible to overcome the sub-1% transfer admission rate. However, the best way to ensure your transfer admissions process is a success is to have other schools on your college list ! The applicant pool to Harvard is beyond competitive—all students will have high grades and outstanding extracurricular records. Therefore, the Harvard essays are an important way to help you stand out and personalize your transfer application.

More CollegeAdvisor resources about Harvard

In addition to this Harvard Essays Examples article, CollegeAdvisor has plenty of resources to help you learn how to get into Harvard. While it’s useful to look at Harvard essays examples, you should also check out our Harvard supplemental essay guide . You’ll get plenty of useful advice on how to craft your own Harvard essays. Additionally, take a look at our How to Get Into Harvard guide to learn how to boost your chances of gaining admissions to this selective school.

Since Harvard is an Ivy League university, you can also look at some Ivy League essay examples in addition to these Harvard essays examples. You’ll find more Harvard essays that worked as well as other successful Ivy League admissions essays. Reading Ivy League and Harvard essays examples is a great way to get in a good mindset before writing. Studying Harvard essays examples can help inspire you to write your best Harvard application essays.

Understanding acceptance rates can also help you prepare for the college admissions process. Harvard is among the most selective colleges in the nation. While this shouldn’t necessarily deter you from applying, your college list should have a good balance of reach, match, and safety schools .

Being prepared is the best way to tackle your college admissions journey. Therefore, learn all you can about your top schools of interest. In addition to reading Harvard essays examples and Harvard essays that worked, learn about the Harvard acceptance rate before applying.

Harvard Essays Examples – 5 Takeaways

We’ve looked at five different Harvard essays that worked and analyzed why they are model Harvard essays examples. To review, let’s look at five takeaways from these Harvard essays examples:

5 Takeaways for Harvard Essay Examples

1. follow the harvard requirements.

This applies to every part of the application, but always carefully read and complete the requirements by the specified deadline. The Harvard requirements for the essay portion include writing the personal statement as well as five supplemental essays. Don’t forget the word count, especially when you reach the editing phase.

2. Be specific

You’ll notice from the Harvard essays examples that each writer is specific in their responses. You certainly won’t find generic essays when looking at Harvard essays that worked. Reference specific courses, clubs, resources, and other opportunities you’re interested in that are found only at Harvard.

3. Get personal

You’ll need to do some self reflection when writing your Harvard application essays. Think about aspects of your upbringing that have shaped you as well as other experiences. In the Harvard essays examples we learn more about each writer’s unique personality. Harvard essays that worked show the writer’s core values and interests to Harvard admissions officers.

4. Harvard is competitive

This may seem obvious, but Harvard is one of the most competitive schools in the nation. Harvard essays that worked helped students get the attention of admissions; however, evaluations of applicants are holistic. So while knockout essays are undeniably crucial to your application, so is a track record of academic and extracurricular achievement.

5. Start early

As with all aspects of the college application journey, preparing early will help you do your best. Give yourself plenty of time to write, review, and revise these essays with the help of peers and mentors. The Harvard essays examples we looked at certainly weren’t written overnight. Nearly all Harvard essays that worked took quite a few drafts to get it right.

A large part of knowing how to get into Harvard is knowing how to write clear, concise, impactful essays. Reading plenty of Harvard essays that worked can help you get inspired. In the end, your essays will likely be very different from Harvard essays examples, since every student has a unique story to tell.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by these Harvard essays examples and want some personalized guidance in college admissions, CollegeAdvisor is here to help! We have expert advisors that have helped thousands of students get into the school of their dreams. They’ve even guided many students to write their own Harvard essays that worked. Reach out to us to find an admissions expert to help you today.

This article was written by Sarah Kaminski. Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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Harvard University 2024-25 Supplemental Essay Guide

Early Action: Nov 1

Regular Decision Deadline: Jan 1

Harvard University 2024-25 Application Essay Question Explanations

The Requirements: Five essays of 100 words or fewer

Supplemental Essay Type(s): Diversity , Activity , Oddball

How to Write Compelling Harvard Supplemental Essays

Since Harvard University asks applicants to pen five (5) essays of 100 words or fewer, the key to writing compelling responses to the prompts is threefold. First, brevity is integral to a winning response. Never use two words where one word will do. Second, give yourself plenty of time to reflect and brainstorm before drafting. Admissions is asking some serious questions about your background, aspirations, and ability to communicate with others, so it would be a mistake to miss out on an opportunity to give your responses thought. Third, think about each response as a piece of a larger puzzle. You want each response to reveal new information about you, so try to steer clear of mentioning the same club in the three different essays. Instead, think of each essay as a different angle for admissions to view from. Each essay will add depth to your application and compliment your other application materials.

Harvard Essay Prompts Breakdown

The following required five short answer questions invite you to reflect on and share how your life experiences and academic and extracurricular activities shaped you, how you will engage with others at harvard, and your aspirations for the future. each question can be answered in about 100 words., harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. how will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to harvard .

Admissions wants to know what has made you into the person you are today and how those experiences will affect the way you engage with and contribute to the Harvard community. So, tell a story about an experience that has shaped you and connect the lessons you learned to the ways in which you will contribute to diversity on campus next fall. Start by thinking about the kinds of experiences you’ve had in the communities you’ve been a part of thus far. Then, once you’ve identified the life experience(s) that have shaped you, think ahead to how those will impact your time at Harvard. Admissions wants to know what your area of influence will look like on campus—whether that be applying the leadership skills you developed in your community theater troupe to the drama productions at Farkas Hall, celebrating intersectional identities with other members of the queer Jewish community with BAGELS , or connecting and networking with your peers through Harvard Black Students Association . Whatever you write about, make sure your response to this prompt shows that you have put some serious thought into the things that have shaped you and how you will apply those lessons and experiences to your time at Harvard next fall.

Describe a time when you strongly disagreed with someone about an idea or issue. How did you communicate or engage with this person? What did you learn from this experience?

Whether during a pregame pasta party with your teammates, a long bus ride with classmates, or your family Thanksgiving dinner, odds are you’ve disagreed with someone about an idea or an issue—and Harvard wants to hear about it. Admissions wants to know not only how you went about engaging with someone with an opposing viewpoint, but also what you took away from the experience. To make sure your response stands out from the pack, be as specific and purposeful as possible. What did you disagree on and how did you communicate? Maybe you used some deescalating tools you picked up from a friend of yours or, perhaps, you made an effort to see things from their point of view while still making a case for your perspective. If you can’t recall where you were at the time, no problem; but details are your friend here to add credibility. Whatever conversation you decide to write about, remember to address what you learned from the experience. Were you introduced to a point of view that you hadn’t considered before? Did you and your conversation partner find a middle ground or did you feel even more resolute in your viewpoint than you had before the conversation? Maybe what you took away wasn’t so much about the topic of the conversation, but the mechanics of holding a difficult conversation. Show Harvard that you can consider new ideas and engage with others about important issues.

Briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are.

Next up is a fun twist on the classic activity essay, which asks you to expand on an extracurricular endeavor that has shaped who you are. Our advice is to focus on one or two activities that have made the biggest impact on you. Although we usually urge students to write about items that haven’t appeared elsewhere on their application, the activity essay is an exception since it specifically asks you to address an item on your resume. The trick here is to pick something with meat! Maybe your trip to visit your extended family members in Thailand opened your eyes to how limited your world had been in your small Midwestern town. Perhaps four years of debate club have nurtured your communication skills and ability to speak up for yourself. Whatever activity you choose to write about, be sure to pick one that has been fundamental to your understanding of who you are.

How do you hope to use your Harvard education in the future?

Admissions already knows a bit about what makes you you; now they want to know why Harvard is the obvious next step in the trajectory of your life. Take some time to meditate on what you hope your life will look like after Harvard—we’re talking ten, twenty years in the future. Once you have an idea of what you hope for that person to be like or do on an average day, invite admissions into your vision and show them how a Harvard education is a pivotal step (or three) on the ladder of success to get there. Regardless of your vision, your response should cite programs, activities, and organizations that Harvard offers. Anyone can say they hope to become a renowned doctor or an attorney for the people, but not everyone is going to do their homework to show admissions that they’ve thought through exactly how they want to get there. Of course, admissions isn’t going to hold you to your blueprint, but they do want to see that you’ve given not only your decision to apply to Harvard some serious thought, but your life post-graduation as well.

Top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you.

With this prompt, admissions is hoping to see a different side of you, perhaps one that is less intellectual (unless that’s just who you are, in which case, rock on with your nerdy self) and a little more casual. Start by making a list. Write down everything that comes to mind. You can edit and revise later—no idea is too silly to jot down! Maybe you think your roommates should know that you just can’t not sing while in the shower (we’re talking Celine Dion, Adele, Whitney Houston) or that you make the meanest plate of rice and beans in your pressure cooker (and you love to share). Once you’ve narrowed your list down to three (3) things, see if you can weave together a narrative that gives admissions a little taste of what it would be like to hang out in the dorms with you. How do you connect with your peers? What most excites you about residential life? What are the quirks that make you you ? By the time admissions puts down your application, they should feel like your personality is jumping off the page.

Common Mistakes to Avoid in Harvard Essays

We have been reading Harvard essays for over twenty years now, so we know a thing or two about the most common mistakes students make. The most common mistakes to avoid are repeating the prompt in your essay (don’t waste your words), trying to sound like an academic (admissions wants to hear your authentic voice!), and using cliches (they’re ineffective and—let’s face it—lazy).

Why Choose College Essay Advisors for Harvard Essays

We at College Essay Advisors have been guiding students one-on-one through the essay writing process for the Harvard supplements for over twenty years. We take a holistic approach to these short essays, considering each student’s application package as a whole and identifying their strengths to highlight. Our Advisors accommodate each student’s scheduling needs to virtually brainstorm, draft, and revise winning essays. It’s incredibly important to us that each student’s voice is preserved, and we pride ourselves in helping students to write successful Harvard essays that differentiate them from similarly qualified applicants. For more information, submit a contact form below or review our one-on-one advising services or list of student acceptances .

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Frequently Asked Questions

Harvard asks applicants to write five (5) supplemental essays.

Harvard wants to learn more about the students applying. Admissions is looking to glean how your life experiences have shaped you, how you will engage with other community members on campus, your aspirations for the future, and more.

Authenticity and reflection are key. You want to both ensure that you’re submitting essays that no one else could submit—meaning they contain specific details from your life or interests that aren’t easily replicable—and show that you’ve put thought and care into your response.

The Harvard supplemental essays, aside from your personal statement, are the only opportunities you have to speak to admissions in your own voice. They offer insight into what it would be like to sit down and have a conversation with you while revealing how you interact with the world around you. They also speak to your writing skills and creativity.

Absolutely not! The admissions committee will be reading both your Common App essay and Harvard supplements, so your essays should not overlap in content at all. Of course, it’s possible you may mention a community you belong to in your personal statement and then expand on that life experience in one of your supplements, but the story should be different and reveal new information about you that admissions couldn’t have gathered from your Common App essay alone.

Each Harvard essay should be 100 words maximum.

We always recommend reviewing the prompts and writing down everything that comes to mind (no censoring yourself!). Next, comb through your ideas to see if any topics jump out at you. And if you skipped the guide above, more brainstorming ideas and advice for writing memorable Harvard supplemental essays can be found there!

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How to Write Harvard's Essays (with Real 2023 Harvard Essay Examples)

Kate Sliunkova

AdmitYogi, Stanford MBA & MA in Education

16 min read

How to Write Harvard's Essays (with Real 2023 Harvard Essay Examples)

Getting into Harvard University is a dream come true for many high school students. But, the application process doesn't end with the Common Application - you'll also need to write supplemental essays. While it may seem daunting at first, writing these Harvard supplementals can be made easier by understanding what admissions officers are looking for and having examples of successful essays to draw inspiration from.

In this article, we’ll provide some tips on how to craft an effective Harvard supplemental essay and showcase real examples from 2023 applicants who were admitted into the university. With these helpful resources in hand, you’ll have all you need to start writing your own supplementals!

Harvard's Essay Prompts

Harvard applicants will have to write three essays in total. While two of these essays are technically optional, they are highly encouraged; students who don't complete those essays are put at a massive disadvantage during application season.

Prompt #1 (Optional, but Highly Recommended): Your intellectual life may extend beyond the academic requirements of your particular school. Please use the space below to list additional intellectual activities that you have not mentioned or detailed elsewhere in your application. These could include, but are not limited to, supervised or self-directed projects not done as school work, training experiences, online courses not run by your school, or summer academic or research programs not described elsewhere. (150 words)

Prompt #2: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (50-150 words)

Prompt #3 (Optional, but Highly Recommended): You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:

Unusual circumstances in your life
Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities
What you would want your future college roommate to know about you
An intellectual experience (course, project, book, discussion, paper, poetry, or research topic in engineering, mathematics, science or other modes of inquiry) that has meant the most to you
How you hope to use your college education
A list of books you have read during the past twelve months
The Harvard College Honor code declares that we “hold honesty as the foundation of our community.” As you consider entering this community that is committed to honesty, please reflect on a time when you or someone you observed had to make a choice about whether to act with integrity and honesty.
The mission of Harvard College is to educate our students to be citizens and citizen-leaders for society. What would you do to contribute to the lives of your classmates in advancing this mission?
Each year a substantial number of students admitted to Harvard defer their admission for one year or take time off during college. If you decided in the future to choose either option, what would you like to do?
Harvard has long recognized the importance of student body diversity of all kinds. We welcome you to write about distinctive aspects of your background, personal development or the intellectual interests you might bring to your Harvard classmates.

Writing Harvard's Essays:

Harvard's additional intellectual activities essay.

Harvard's Prompt #1: "Your intellectual life may extend beyond the academic requirements of your particular school. Please use the space below to list additional intellectual activities that you have not mentioned or detailed elsewhere in your application. These could include, but are not limited to, supervised or self-directed projects not done as school work, training experiences, online courses not run by your school, or summer academic or research programs not described elsewhere."

Our advice for approaching Harvard's essay prompt asking applicants to list additional intellectual activities outside of their schoolwork is to first understand what "intellectual activities" consist of. Intellectual activities may include but are not limited to hobbies, academic projects, research, or any other activity that's helped you learn something valuable or new.

When structuring your response, make sure to keep it organized. Start by briefly introducing the activity, explaining what it is and how you became involved with it. Focus on the skills that you gained from this activity and how they have helped you develop into a well-rounded individual. Be specific when mentioning the activity or intellectual pursuit, and relate it back to your talents, abilities, or interests. Make sure to highlight how it has impacted your academic performance and personal growth.

Suitable intellectual activities to mention can include but are not limited to, volunteering, research projects, personal interests, internships within a specific field, or pursuing a particular subject on your own outside of a traditional academic setting.

Lastly, make sure to avoid cliches or generic statements that don't add anything new to your story. Rather, use concrete examples and showcase your uniqueness in your writing style. Here's an excellent example of this from Victor, who got into Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Columbia, and UPenn. You can read all of his essays, stats, and awards here!

Leisure Reading: Silent Spring—Rachel Carson; The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy—Douglas Adams; The Old Man and the Sea—Ernest Hemingway; Blood Meridian, The Road—Cormac McCarthy; Die Welt von Gestern—Stefan Zweig; Cicero—Anthony Everret.

Independent research: Used GIS mapping and Berkeley’s Transportation Injury Mapping System to analyze traffic collision data in my city.

Books: The Death and Life of Great American Cities—Jane Jacobs; The Color of Law—Richard Rothstein.

Bicycle/Race: Transportation, Culture, & Resistance—Andonia E. Lugo.

Historical research areas from hours perusing Wikipedia, YouTube, and scholarly articles: 19th Century Urbanism and the Sanitation Revolution; Implications of the Sykes-Picot Agreement and the British betrayal of the Hashemites; Mexican President Lázaro Cárdenas’ nationalization of Mexican oil and foundation of PEMEX; Mercantilism and how it stunted Iberian colonies’ development post-independence; Fall of the Roman Republic; Norman Conquest of England; The Trial of Charles I.

Harvard's Extracurricular Essay:

Harvard's Prompt #2: "Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences."

To start, when choosing which activity or experience to write about, think about something that you are passionate about and have put in significant effort into. It should also be something that has had a meaningful impact on your life and that you can speak about in depth. This will make the essay more engaging and interesting for the reader.

Next, your essay should have a clear structure. Start by introducing the topic and providing concrete examples of what you did in this activity or experience. Explain any challenges you faced and how you overcame them. Lastly, discuss what you learned from the experience and how it has shaped you as a person.

When writing the essay, it's important to make it personal and reflective of who you are as an individual. Use specific stories to illustrate your points instead of generalizing your experiences. Avoid using cliches or generic phrases that don't add anything new to your story. Strive to make your essay unique and authentic in your writing style. Here's a great example from Gabby W, who got into Harvard, Stanford, MIT, and Yale. Y ou can read all of her essays and extracurriculars here.

I discovered Haven for Hope, a community rehab and homeless shelter, through GirlUp, an initiative by the UN Foundation centered around empowering women and developing leadership. In my first year, I became one of four tutors who visited the teenage girls at Haven for Hope weekly. We developed real bonds and strived to be consistent role models for these girls.

During my junior year, as one of five board members, my role in actively supporting the community grew significantly. Our chapter membership grew to 100+ students, and I managed the funds raised to donate 1200+ menstrual products for Haven for Hope women, stock neighboring Title I schools with feminine hygiene products, and hold a baby diaper drive for the Battered Women and Children’s Shelter.

My involvement with GirlUp developed into a profoundly fulfilling fight for female empowerment and equity, a battle I know will continue as I venture into STEM professions.

Harvard's Additional Essay:

Harvard's Prompt #3: "You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics."

We suggest approaching the additional essay prompt with intention and thoughtfulness. This essay is an opportunity to showcase something new about yourself that you haven't already discussed in other parts of your application. Think of it almost like a second personal statement (so stick around 500 words). You're giving the admissions department another look into who you are as a person!

To start, identify what you want to convey about yourself through this essay. It should go beyond your resume or achievements and showcase your personality, interests, values, or worldview. For instance, you could discuss a formative experience that influenced your personal growth or reflect on a specific value that guides your actions.

Once you've identified your topic, make sure you provide plenty of vivid details and specific examples to illustrate your insights. Use descriptive language to help the readers visualize what you're describing in your essay. For example, if you're discussing your favorite hobby, you might describe a particular moment when you discovered your passion for it or the sense of fulfillment you get when you engage with it.

As you write your essay, remember to use an appropriate tone that reflects your personality. You want to come across as authentic and relatable while still demonstrating your unique perspective. It might help to read your essay out loud to ensure that your voice and tone are consistent with your personality.

Don't be afraid to take risks and be vulnerable in your writing. Discussing difficult experiences or challenges can help showcase your resilience and growth mindset. However, you want to avoid oversharing or writing about sensitive topics in a way that could be perceived negatively. Here's an awesome example from Sarah, who was admitted to Stanford, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Columbia, UPenn, Johns Hopkins, and Brown! You can see all of her essays, awards, stats, and more here! Sarah answered the prompt "Harvard has long recognized the importance of student body diversity of all kinds. We welcome you to write about distinctive aspects of your background, personal development or the intellectual interests you might bring to your Harvard classmates."

As the other kids prepared to present their 3D-printed towers to students and parents, Nathan fretted, brow furrowed and arms crossed, deeply anxious about the prospect of speaking in front of the large audience. I was in my third year as an assistant teacher for a middle school weekend STEM class when I met Nathan, a student on the autism spectrum.

While the other students worked in pairs, Nathan adamantly insisted he work alone. I was happy to support Nathan as he designed a miniature CAD model of the Big Ben, but he was now tasked with presenting alone, without a partner, unlike the rest of the students. Though he struggled socially and shuddered at the thought of reaching out to his classmates, the other students failed to make an effort to reach out to him. I was perplexed as to why the other kids felt content in excluding Nathan, but as I honestly admitted to myself, I had been no better at their age.

Nathan displayed behaviors reminiscent of those of my older brother Stevie, who has severe autism. Stevie is the most affectionate brother, constantly projecting an infectious smile that has the enchanting power to put me at ease; yet so many people unwittingly deprive him of the fair chance to live a life free from prejudice—including my younger self.

When I was my students’ age, I felt a disgraceful degree of shame upon going into public with Stevie, embarrassed by his random loud outbursts and the disparaging stares we would receive from almost every stranger. However, growing up alongside Stevie, I sometimes observed genuine kindness that made me re-examine my outlook. I began to recognize that autism doesn’t make Stevie disabled; it’s how society accommodates his differences that dictates whether he’s disabled or not. Perceiving the barriers perpetuated by a world not inherently designed for people like Stevie, I felt progressively empowered to try to make life more accommodating for others.

I calmly assured Nathan that he would not need to present in person; instead, I recorded a video of his individual presentation to send to his parents, which alleviated his fears. In the subsequent classes, I put significant effort into connecting Nathan with the other students. I typically spent a majority of each class working with Nathan, trying to support him in any way I could.

I’m eternally grateful that Stevie has helped me become more compassionate and understanding of those around me, whether it’s Nathan or simply a random stranger I encounter in public. Beyond the interactions I share with others, Stevie has also shaped my aspirations for the future. I am drawn in large part to technological innovation because it provides the avenue through which I can continue to better the lives of differently-abled people. I plan to innovate efficient assistive technology, such as AI-powered robotic assistants, to aid those whom society often overlooks. I’m proud that I can serve as an advocate for acceptance and help those who need it most. As I endeavor to provide meaningful assistance to these individuals, I hope I can inspire others to act in a similar manner.

Here's another incredible example of Harvard's optional essay from Dev, who got into Harvard, UPenn, Columbia, Cornell, and Dartmouth. You can read his entire college application here! Dev answered the prompt "What you would want your future college roommate to know about you."

Dear future roommate,

I’m going to apologize in advance.

Sorry for always asking you and subsequently dragging you with me to satisfy my chocolate peanut butter cup and black raspberry chocolate chunk cravings. My friends and I have tried a new ice cream place twice a month for the last year, and I can’t stop my streak now (the best flavor so far has been banana cream pie, if you were wondering). I’m not afraid to admit my ice cream obsession and bring you along for the ride. It will be worth it, I promise!

Sorry for yelling at my laptop or the TV on select Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays. I always look forward to my Cleveland Browns finding some way to shock me or leave me in shock. But, they’re my unpredictable team, and I think you’ll find that I’m one of the most loyal people you’ll meet – whether it’s about a sports team or relationships.

Sorry for making you stand… rrrright there against the sun and keep four fingers in your pocket with your thumb out. I’ve been a hobbyist photographer for a few years now, and I will give you the Instagram-worthy photos you’ve been wanting. Still, it won’t come without a bit of precision and creativity, which I think is reflected in my personality. You would probably see that best in my closet.

Speaking of my closet, I'm sorry for all of the Amazon packages I’ll be dragging into the dorm. I am constantly refining my wardrobe, buying new sweaters, jeans, and shoes that I definitely do not need. I like to look “put-together,” however, and if I ask you for your honest opinion, feel free to tell me if this cable-knit patchwork Marino wool sweater looks like a bunch of chocolate bars strung together. Part of my put-together attitude is washing my clothes at least once a week, so, thankfully, one less worry for you is that I won’t smell.

Sorry for dropping every responsibility I have at exactly 10:00 PM during the week (and 6:00 PM on the weekend) because the New York Times just released its latest mini crossword. Don’t worry too much, though, as I won’t be separated from reality for too long – my average time is now below 25 seconds. I’ve been competing against my family and friends on the mini-leaderboard for a while, and I usually get the fastest time. Feel free to add yourself to my leaderboard and play along!

Sorry for sending you a new song that I think is really, really good when Spotify releases my Discover Weekly on Mondays. I may overplay it for the next week and then squirm if I ever hear its intro again, but I love listening to music with other people, so join me in ruining a song faster than you can sing the chorus to The Champs’ classic song, “ Tequila.” I’d love to hear your music too. My taste is very diverse, so as long as we dance around death metal and psychedelic rock, I know we’ll be able to jam out easily.

Sorry for the exorbitant number of dad jokes I’m going to make. That’s it.

I’m not sorry for the ways that these quirks will bring us together; I can’t wait to be the friend that will stick by your side no matter what. I’ll be there to help you if you’re struggling in class, missing home, or conflicted about your love life. Whether you want to talk about the universe’s biggest questions or if pineapple belongs on pizza, just pick up a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked, grab two spoons, and we can sit for hours figuring it all out together.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, writing standout essays for Harvard University requires time, dedication, and careful planning. It's important to choose topics that highlight your unique experiences, personality, and skills, as well as to demonstrate your passion, curiosity, and resilience. Feedback from trusted sources, such as academic advisors or writing tutors, can be invaluable in refining your essays and ensuring their quality. Another helpful resource for writing strong essays is reading examples of successful college essays. Reading these essays can offer inspiration, ideas, and insights on what works and what doesn't, ultimately helping you write more compelling essays. That's why we highly recommend checking out our platform which offers thousands of successful college essays written by real students that you can read through and learn from. With the right approach, dedication, and guidance, you can craft essays that will stand out in your application to Harvard University.

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Successful Harvard Essays

Harvard essays →, harvard mentors →.

Harvard Supplemental Essay: Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities.

Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities. I have had a fascination with the people, languages and cultures of Spain since…...

Harvard Supplemental Essay: What you would want your future college roommate to know about you

What you would want your future college roommate to know about you? Hello roomie! It’s nice to be able to talk to you about myself…...

Harvard Common App Essay: Evaluate a Significant Experience.

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. The most gratifyingly productive and…...

Harvard Common App Essay: Evaluate a significant experience.

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. The Cayman Islands, our home,…...

Harvard Common App Essay: Share an essay on any topic of your choice.

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one…...

Harvard Supplemental Essay: Elaborate on One of Your Extracurricular Activities or Work Experiences

Short answer — Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below. As my cursor hits “refresh” at…...

Harvard Essay Prompts

Harvard University requires the Common Application, with its 250-650 word essay requirement, as well as their own short essay questions, included below.

Harvard University Supplemental Essay Prompts

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (50-150 words) Your intellectual life may extend beyond the academic requirements of your…...

Common Application Essay Prompts

The Common App Essay for 2020-2021 is limited to 250-650 word responses. You must choose one prompt for your essay. Some students have a background,…...

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10 Successful Harvard Application Essays | 2024

With the top applicants from every high school applying to the best schools in the country, it's important to have an edge in your college application. Check out our list of 10 new Harvard application essays from students who made it in, and hear from expert college consultants about what made these work.

Sarika's Essay

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Successful Harvard Essay

I, Too, Can Dance

I was in love with the way the dainty pink mouse glided across the stage, her tutu twirling as she pirouetted and her rose-colored bow following the motion of her outstretched arms with every grand jeté.

I had always dreamed I would dance, and Angelina Ballerina made it seem so easy. There was something so freeing about the way she wove her body into the delicate threads of the Sugar Plum Fairy’s song each time she performed an arabesque. I longed for my whole being to melt into the magical melodies of music; I longed to enchant the world with my own stories; and I longed for the smile that glimmered on every dancer’s face.

At recess, my friends and I would improvise dances. But while they seemed well on their way to achieving ballerina status, my figure eights were more like zeroes and every attempt at spinning around left me feeling dizzy. Sometimes, I even ran over my friends’ toes. How could I share my stories with others if I managed to injure them with my wheelchair before the story even began?

I then tried piano, but my fingers stumbled across the keys in an uncoordinated staccato tap dance of sorts. I tried art, but the clumsiness of my brush left the canvas a colorful mess. I tried the recorder, but had Angelina existed in real life, my rendition of “Mary Had a Little Lamb” would have frozen her in midair, with flute-like screeches tumbling through the air before ending in an awkward split and shattering the gossamer world the Sugar Plum Fairy had worked so hard to build.

For as long as I could remember, I’d also been fascinated by words, but I’d never explored writing until one day in fourth grade, the school librarian announced a poetry contest. That night, as I tried to sleep, ideas scampered through my head like Nutcracker mice awakening a sleeping Clara to a mystical new world. By morning, I had choreographed the mice to tell a winning story in verse about all the marvelous outer space factoids I knew.

Now, my pencil pirouettes perfect O’s on paper amidst sagas of doting mothers and evanescent lovers. The tip of my pen stipples the lines of my notebook with the tale of a father’s grief, like a ballerina tiptoeing en pointe; as the man finds solace in nature, the ink flows gracefully, and for a moment, it leaps off the page, as if reaching out to the heavens to embrace his daughter’s soul. Late at night, my fingers tap dance across the keys of my laptop, tap tap tapping an article about the latest breakthrough in cancer research—maybe LDCT scans or aneuploidy-targeted therapy could have saved the daughter’s life; a Spanish poem about the beauty of unspoken moments; and the story of a girl in a wheelchair who learned how to dance.

As the world sleeps, I lose myself in the cathartic cadences of fresh ink, bursting with stories to be told and melting into parched paper.

As the world sleeps, I lose myself in the cathartic cadences of fresh ink, bursting with stories to be told and melting into parched paper. I cobble together phrases until they spring off my tongue, as if the Sugar Plum Fairy herself has transformed the staccato rumblings of my brain into something legato and sweet. I weave my heart, my soul, my very being into my words as I read them out loud, until they become almost like a chant. With every rehearsal, I search for the perfect finale to complete my creation. When I finally find it, eyes dry with midnight-induced euphoria, I remember that night so many years ago when I discovered the magic of writing, and smile.

I may not dance across the stage like Angelina Ballerina, but I can dance across the page.

I, too, can dance.

Professional Review by Ivy Institute

⁤In this essay "I, Too, Can Dance," Sarika skillfully describes how she went from wanting to dance like the made-up character Angelina Ballerina to discovering deep fulfillment and a way to express herself via writing. ⁤⁤The essay opens with a detailed account of Sarika's early fascination in dance, which was sparked by the animated performances she saw on television. ⁤⁤However, we learn that her first attempts to mimic these dancing routines are hampered by her physical constraints in a wheelchair, which complicates and frustrates her young goals.

⁤Despite these difficulties, Sarika's story is full of tenacity and originality. ⁤⁤Her experiences with other artistic mediums, such as painting and piano, follow a similar pattern of initial enthusiasm followed by an awareness of her physical limitations. ⁤⁤However, these endeavors are presented as stepping stones, each one strengthening her drive and guiding her in the direction of a field in which she may genuinely succeed. ⁤

When Sarika discovers writing, her story takes a dramatic turn. ⁤⁤This realization is not just a solace but also a victorious discovery of her voice. ⁤⁤Writing takes on the role of her dance floor, where words enable her to move gracefully, telling tales and articulating concepts with the same grace and fluidity that performers display on stage. ⁤⁤Sarika describes her writing process using dance-related imagery, such as her pencil "pirouettes" and her narratives "leaping off the page," effectively drawing comparisons between dance and writing. ⁤

⁤Sarika's profound reflection and her mature realization that artistic expression can take numerous forms are what make her essay so moving.

Sarika's profound reflection and her mature realization that artistic expression can take numerous forms are what make her essay so moving. ⁤⁤She conveys a strong message about accepting one's abilities and exploring many avenues for artistic expression. ⁤By the time the essay comes to an end, Sarika has come to terms with her destiny and even begun to like it. ⁤⁤She finds happiness in the rhythmic tapping of her keyboard late into the night, creating stories that have the grace and complexity of a dance that has been expertly choreographed.

Francisco's Essay

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Three days before I got on a plane to go across the country for six weeks I quit milk cold-turkey. I had gone to the chiropractor to get a general check up. I knew I had scoliosis and other problems; however, I learned that because of my excessive, to say the least, intake of milk my body had developed a hormone imbalance. I decided it would be best for my health to completely stop drinking milk and avoid dairy when possible. Little did I know, this was only the start of a summer of change; three days later I got on a plane to attend the Minority Introduction To Engineering and Science (MITES) program in Massachusetts.

I was afraid; afraid my support wouldn't be good enough, afraid to show that I cared, afraid they didn't care for me.

I assumed that most of the people were going to be unhealthily competitive because of my past experiences. I thought I would keep to myself, do my work, and come back no different. Living in a building with 80 people I’ve never met in a place I’ve never been while making a significant life style change was not easy. The first few days were not kind: I got mild stomach ulcers, it was awkward, and I felt out of place. That first Thursday night however, all of that started to change. On Thursday evenings we had “Family Meetings” and on this particular Thursday part of our Machine Learning class was working together when the time came to go to the dining hall for whatever this “Family Meeting” was. Honestly we dreaded it at first, “I have work to do” was the most common phrase. We learned that “Family Meeting” was a safe space for us to talk about anything and everything. Today’s theme was, “what’s something important about your identity that makes you unique?” but the conversation quickly evolved into so much more. People spoke about losing family members, being shunned at home, not feeling comfortable in their own skin, and more. So many people opened up about incredibly personal things, I felt honored to be given that trust. The room was somber and warm with empathy as the meeting concluded. Out of my peripheral vision I saw Izzy, one of my Machine Learning classmates, rushing back to the conference room. I realized something was not right. Instinctively, I followed her back to where we were working. Izzy sat down and immediately broke down, the rest of us filed in as she started to talk about what was wrong. It felt as though an ambulance was sitting on my chest, my breaths were short and stingy. I was afraid; afraid my support wouldn’t be good enough, afraid to show that I cared, afraid they didn’t care for me. In this one moment all my insecurities, some I didn’t even know I had, came to the surface. The heavy silence of hushed sobbing was broken by an outpouring of support and a hug. We all started sharing what we’re going through and even some of our past trauma. Slowly that weight is lifted off my chest. I feel comfortable, I feel wanted, I feel safe.

This is the first time I truly felt confident, empowered, and loved. I am surrounded by people smarter than me and I don’t feel any lesser because of it. I have become the true Francisco, or Cisco as they call me. I now, at all times, am unapologetically myself. The difference is night and day. As the program progressed I only felt more comfortable and safe, enough so to even go up and speak at a family meeting. These people, this family, treated me right. I gained priceless confidence, social skills, self-worth, empathetic ability, and mental fortitude to take with me and grow on for the rest of my life. Through all of this somehow cutting out the biggest part of my diet became the least impactful part of my summer.

Francisco's essay, "Three Days Before I Got on a Plane," describes his involvement in the Minority Introduction to Engineering and Science (MITES) program at M.I.T., which serves as the backdrop for his introspective voyage. The story starts with a seemingly minor decision—giving up milk for health reasons—but it soon turns into a metaphor for the life-changing events that transpire. The essay skillfully makes use of this internal transformation to set up a summer that would fundamentally alter Francisco's perception of himself and his interactions with others. He is first nervous about the MITES program because he anticipates a very competitive setting that would make him feel even more alone. The physical and psychological difficulties he encounters early in the program—such as minor stomach ulcers and a strong sense of alienation—reinforce this worry.

But at the program's weekly "Family Meetings," which are meant to encourage candid conversation and support among members, the story takes a dramatic turn. Here is when Francisco undergoes a significant transformation. One meeting's theme, "what's something important about your identity that makes you unique?" expands into increasingly detailed, intimate revelations, turning the gathering into an environment of empathy and vulnerability. Francisco is extremely touched by the candor with which his peers have shared their personal issues, and this prompts him to reconsider how he approaches the program and his peers in general.

⁤Francisco's essay does a fantastic job of illustrating how community and candid conversation can have a significant impact on personal development.

Francisco's essay does a fantastic job of illustrating how community and candid conversation can have a significant impact on personal development. His experience serves as a testament to both the value of safe spaces in learning environments and the transformational potential of empathy. By the time the essay comes to an end, Francisco has grown as a person and acknowledges that he is now "the true Francisco," or "Cisco" as his friends call him. He highlights how this experience has given him the confidence to be authentically himself and has given him priceless social skills, self-worth, and emotional fortitude that he will use throughout his life.

Although Francisco's essay effectively recounts a transformative summer experience, it could be enhanced by the inclusion of additional personal details and background information to provide a more comprehensive understanding of his life and experiences. Valuable context could be provided by including specifications about his initial interest in engineering and science or his prior experiences with competitiveness. Expanding on how the MITES program influenced his long-term goals would further enhance the essay. Additionally, elaborating on his relationships with peers both before and after the program would offer a clearer picture of his social growth. These additional details would create a more complete and compelling narrative—presenting Francisco as a multifaceted individual.

Billy's Essay

As an admission essay specialist , Dan Lichterman has been empowering students to find their voice since 2004. He helps students stand out on paper, eliminating the unnecessary so the necessary may speak. Drawing upon his storytelling background, Dan guides applicants to craft authentic essays that leap off the page. He is available for online writing support within the US and internationally. To learn more and schedule a brief complimentary consultation visit danlichterman.com.

Successful Harvard Essay:

As I rode up and down the gentle slopes of the Peabody skatepark, I watched my younger brother race down from the highest point on the halfpipe and fly past me at the speed of light. I wish I could do that, I thought, eyeing the enormous curve that towered over me. But I didn’t dare make my way up to the top. Instead, I stuck with the routine I was comfortable with, avoiding the steep inclines at all costs.

Each week during the summer before my fourth grade year, my brother and I would visit that same skatepark, and I would take my mini-BMX bike to the bottom of that monstrous ramp, ready to attack the giant. I started off low reaching only a quarter of the way up at first, too scared to go any higher. But each week, I gained more confidence and kept reaching greater heights. Halfway there, two-thirds, three quarters. Until finally, I mustered up enough courage to complete my final challenge.

With my brother’s shouts of joy ringing in my ears, it seemed as though the concrete mass was calling my name, drawing me closer and closer, until I couldn’t resist its pleading any further. I walked my bike up the stairs and approached the steep drop off. My hands started to sweat and my legs began to shake as I inched toward the edge, staring in the face of doom. Finally at the lip of the ramp, I paused briefly, took a deep breath, and moved forward just enough to send myself speeding downwards. I couldn’t contain my excitement as my, “Woooo!” echoed around the park. I had finally ridden down the tallest ramp!

Throughout my life I have enjoyed having a plan and being in control. When working in a group, I make sure that everyone knows exactly which aspect of the project they will complete. I organize all my homework in a planner so that I never miss a due date. Each night, I outline my schedule for the following day so that I know what meetings, sports events, and other activities I have to attend. When I visited New York City over the summer, I prepared a detailed itinerary to follow. Rarely is there a day when I don’t have a general idea of what I’m going to do, but sometimes my plan doesn’t correlate with how the day truly plays out.

Over the years, I have learned to adapt when situations take an unexpected turn, and, similar to that time at the skatepark, I have been able to step out of my comfort zone more often.

Over the years, I have learned to adapt when situations take an unexpected turn, and, similar to that time at the skatepark, I have been able to step out of my comfort zone more often. It isn’t the end of the world when things don’t go exactly as planned; often times, sudden changes and new experiences make for a more enjoyable and interesting time. As much as I enjoy a strict itinerary, some of my best nights have begun by hopping in the car with my friends, picking a direction, and going wherever the wind takes us. As hard as I try to plan out my day, an unforeseen event is almost inevitable. Although this can bring about some stress, scrambling around to figure things out is not only an essential skill, but can be a fun challenge, too.

I can’t imagine a completely organized life without a little uncertainty. Unexpected circumstances are bound to occur, and making the most of them is one of my favorite parts of life. Regardless of how much I love having a plan, my flexibility and willingness to step out of my comfort zone is something I have and will always take pride in.

Professional Review by Dan Lichterman

Billy's story of conquering Peabody skatepark's monstrous ramp is about more than simply broadening his comfort zone through incremental risk exposure.

Billy’s story of conquering Peabody skatepark’s monstrous ramp is about more than simply broadening his comfort zone through incremental risk exposure. To truly appreciate how this vignette enhances his candidacy, one must consider its larger context. Billy admits to being a hyper-organized itinerary maker who has always loved being in control. The image of a fourth grade Billy dropping in on his BMX bike is the exact opposite of the one portrayed by his extensive extracurricular leadership and ambitious environmental engineering aspirations. Without explicitly saying so, Billy’s essay shows us just how much his free-range childhood summer now diverges from his rigidly hyper-scheduled high school years. While it may feel like a lifetime ago, Billy hasn’t forgotten what it's like to inch towards the edge, stare into the face of doom, and willingly let go. In fact, the memory is just as vivid now, eight years later, whenever Billy presses the pause button on his goal-directed pursuits to take a beat, throw caution to the wind, and embark on an impromptu road-trip adventure with friends. Billy’s half-pipe story balances out a candidacy that could risk appearing guarded or inflexible in its absence, demonstrating self-awareness about the opportunity cost of becoming overly wedded to a game plan.

Lauren's Essay

Admission Science was started by two Harvard grads who both got into every Ivy League school, plus Stanford. We’ve walked the walk ourselves, so we do things a bit differently. Put simply, we’re here to cut through all the fluff and truly tell it how it is. We’re passionate about helping motivated students get the educational opportunities they deserve. Come be our next success story. Click here to watch our free online workshop for crafting the perfect application (and download 58 more successful Harvard essays as a bonus).

Lunch and recess were opportunities to ‘play’ Stephen Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd, so we murdered our friends. We’d bake the dead into meat pies and scream cacophonously, “WE ALL DESERVE TO DIE!” Nine-year-old me even teased my hair, donned my Mrs. Lovett costume for Halloween, and rambled on about Australian penal colonies and how dead fiddle players make for “stringy” meat. You cannot imagine my disappointment when everybody thought I was Frankenstein’s Bride.

Like Gypsy Rose Lee, my siblings and I spent our formative years at rehearsals and performances, where I was indoctrinated into the cult that worships Sondheim. In our household, Sondheimian theatre was a religion (I’m not sure how I feel about God, but I do believe in Sondheim.) My brother and I read Sondheim’s autobiography, Finishing the Hat, like the bible, reading the book cover to cover and returning to page one the moment we finished. At six, he introduced me to Sondheim’s West Side Story, which illustrates the harms of poverty and systematic racism. Initially, I only appreciated Jerome Robbins’ choreography (Sorry, Mr. Shakespeare). When I revisited the musical years later, I had a visceral reaction as I witnessed young adults engaging in deadly gang rivalries. Experiencing Tony’s gruesome death forced me, a middle-class suburbanite, to feel the devastating effects of inner-city violence, and my belief in the need for early intervention programs to prevent urban gun violence was born.

I began to discover political and historical undertones in all of Sondheim’s work. For example, Assassins whirlwinds from the Lincoln era up to Reagan’s Presidency. Originally, I simply thought it was hysterical to belt Lynette Fromme’s love ballad to Charles Manson. Later, I realized how much history I had unknowingly retained from this musical. The song “November 22, 1963” reflects on America’s most notorious assassination attempts, and alludes to each assassin being motivated by a desperate attempt to connect to a specific individual or culture to gain control over their life. Assassins awakened me to the flaws in some of our quintessential American ideals because the song “Everybody’s Got the Right” illustrates how the American individualism enshrined in our Constitution can be twisted to support hate, harm, and entitlement. I internalized Sondheim’s political commentary, and I see its relevance in America's most pressing issues. The misconstrued idea of limitless freedom can be detrimental to public health, worsening issues such as the climate crisis, gun violence, and the coronavirus pandemic. These existential threats largely stem from antiquated ideas that the rights of the few outweigh the rights of the majority. Ironically, a musical about individuals who tried to dismantle our American political system sparked my political interests, but this speaks to the power of Sondheim’s music and my ability to make connections and draw inspiration from unlikely sources.

I'm an aspiring political changemaker, and Sondheim's musicals influence my political opinions by enabling me to empathize with communities living drastically different lives from my own.

Absorbing historical and political commentary set to music allows my statistical and logical brain to better empathize with the characters, giving me a deeper understanding of the conflicts portrayed on stage, almost like reading a diary. Theatremakers are influenced by both history and their life experiences. I internalize their underlying themes and values, and my mindset shifts to reflect the art that I adore. I’m an aspiring political changemaker, and Sondheim’s musicals influence my political opinions by enabling me to empathize with communities living drastically different lives from my own.

I sang Sondheim melodies before I could talk. As I grew intellectually and emotionally, Sondheim’s musicals began to carry more weight. With each viewing, I retained new historical and political information. This ritual drives me to continue studying Sondheim and enables me to confidently walk my own path because Sondheim’s work passively strengthens my ethics as I continue to extrapolate relevant life lessons from his melodies. Sondheim’s stories, with their complex, morally ambiguous characters, have solidified my ironclad set of morals which, together with my love of history, have blossomed into a passion for human rights and politics.

Professional Review by Admission Science

Lauren's essay has punch. From the first line, where she's gleefully "murdering" friends in a Sweeney Todd-themed recess game, you're hooked. This isn't your average personal essay; it's a wild ride through a Sondheim-obsessed childhood. One where "theatre was a religion" and Finishing the Hat was the bible.

What makes this essay stand out is Lauren's unabashed passion. She doesn't just like musicals. West Side Story actually gave her visceral reactions that shaped her intellectual growth. Lauren describes how the political context of those musicals ignited her passion for social justice. She also reveals a mind that's both analytical and creative, connecting historical anthems to modern-day issues like gun violence and the pandemic.

Your college essay is the best place to let your authentic voice through. So be sure to pick a topic you're truly invested in.

This is something we always encourage students to do—let your passion shine. Your college essay is the best place to let your authentic voice through. So be sure to pick a topic you're truly invested in. That passion will be contagious, and it will leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Lauren also did an excellent job of maintaining a relatable and endearing tone ("I’m not sure how I feel about God, but I do believe in Sondheim"). She successfully tied her passion for Sondheim's work to her aspiration to become a political changemaker. This alignment of passion and purpose is compelling and is ultimately what makes her a strong candidate for Harvard.

Daniella's Essay

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Their Ivy League-educated editors distinguish EssayEdge from all competitors and have made EssayEdge the number one admissions editing resource. 9 of 10 students have reported significant improvements in their essays because of the assistance and input of an Essayedge editor.

The main benefit of the service is that it is fully legal. The editors do not write any type of content. Instead, their editors focus on:

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Each time I bake cookies, they come out differently. Butter, sugar, eggs, flour — I measure with precision, stir with vigor, then set the oven to 375°F. The recipe is routine, yet hardly redundant.

After a blizzard left me stranded indoors with nothing but a whisk and a pantry full of the fundamentals, I made my first batch: a tray of piping hot chocolate chunkers whose melt-in-the-mouth morsels comforted my snowed-in soul. Such a flawless description, however, belies my messy process. In reality, my method was haphazard and carefree, the cookies a delicious fortuity that has since been impossible to replicate.

Each subsequent batch I make is a gamble. Will the cookies flatten and come out crispy? Stay bulbous and gooey? Am I a bad baker, or are they inherently capricious? Even with a recipe book full of suggestions, I can never place a finger on my mistake. The cookies are fickle and short-tempered. Baking them is like walking on eggshells — and I have an empty egg carton to prove it. Perhaps beginner’s luck had been the secret ingredient all along.

I became engrossed in perfecting the cookies not by the mechanical satisfaction of watching ingredients combine into batter, but by the chance to wonder at simplicity. The inconsistency is captivating.

Yet, curiosity keeps me flipping to the same page in my recipe book. I became engrossed in perfecting the cookies not by the mechanical satisfaction of watching ingredients combine into batter, but by the chance to wonder at simplicity. The inconsistency is captivating. It is, after all, a strict recipe, identical ingredients combined in the same permutation. How can such orthodox steps yield such radical, unpredictable results? Even with the most formulaic tasks, I am questioning the universe.

Chemistry explains some of the anomaly. For instance, just a half-pinch extra of baking soda can have astounding ramifications on how the dough bubbles. The kitchen became my laboratory: I diaried each trial like a scientist; I bought a scale for more accurate measurements; I borrowed “On Food and Cooking: the Science and Lore of the Kitchen” from the library. But all to no avail — the variables refused to come together in any sort of equilibrium.

I then approached the problem like a pianist, taking the advice my teacher wrote in the margins of my sheet music and pouring it into the mixing bowl. There are 88 pitches on a keyboard, and there are a dozen ingredients in the recipe. To create a rhapsodic dessert, I needed to understand all of the melodic and harmonic lines and how they complemented one another. I imagined the recipe in Italian script, the chocolate chips as quick staccatos suspended in a thick adagio medium. But my fingers always stumbled at the coda of each performance, the details of the cookies turning to a hodgepodge of sound.

I whisk, I sift, I stir, I pre-heat the oven again, but each batch has its flaws, either too sweet, burnt edges, grainy, or underdone. Though the cookies were born of boredom, their erratic nature continues to fascinate me. Each time my efforts yield an imperfect result, I develop resilience to return the following week with a fresh apron, ready to try again. I am mesmerized by the quirks of each trial. It isn’t enough to just mix and eat — I must understand.

My creative outlook has kept the task engaging. Despite the repetition in my process, I find new angles that liven the recipe. In college and beyond, there will be things like baking cookies, endeavors that seem so unvaried they risk spoiling themselves to a housewife’s drudgery. But from my time in the kitchen, I have learned how to probe deeper into the mechanics of my tasks, to bring music into monotony, and to turn work into play. However the cookie crumbles in my future, I will approach my work with curiosity, creativity, and earnestness.

Professional Review by EssayEdge

Daniella’s essay is lovely, fun and effective. It genuinely and naturally showcases different sides of her, how she approaches problems, what she values. The mundaneness of the topic fits her conclusion and insights beautifully. She employs humor, shows resilience, creativity, intellectual curiosity and an authentic propensity for philosophical thought. Her “voice” is confident, the word choice creative, and the vocabulary in each paragraph poignantly reflects different sides of her (the scientist “diared each trial”; the musician tries to create a “rhapsodic dessert”).

This structure is bold, and humble. It allows Daniella to show rather than tell the reader how she thinks, how she solves problems, how she perseveres.

The several paragraphs detailing Daniella’s cookie making process are also very strong. She lingers with sensual details that resonate (you can smell, taste and feel those chocolate chunkers) rather than overstuffing the essay with mentions of her various credentials or experiences. This structure is bold, and humble. It allows Daniella to show rather than tell the reader how she thinks, how she solves problems, how she perseveres. This is very powerful.

This essay measures 618 words (standard limit is 650). Daniella could have used the additional words to add to paragraph 3: when else did she experienced that similar processes lead to different results – perhaps in music performance? And/or in the next paragraph(s) she might have added a sentence to consider the potential impact of atmospheric conditions on baking, as well as more broadly/metaphorically.

Clara's Essay

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My nightstand is home to a small menagerie of critters, each glass-eyed specimen lovingly stuffed with cotton. Don’t get the wrong idea, now – I’m not a taxidermist or anything. I crochet.

Crochet is a family tradition. My grandmother used to wield her menacing steel hook like a mage’s staff and tout it as such: an instrument that bestowed patience, decorum, and poise on its owner. During her youth in Vietnam, she spent her evenings designing patterns for ornate doilies and handkerchiefs. Then the Vietnam War turned our family into refugees. The Viet Cong imprisoned my grandfather, a colonel in the South Vietnam Air Force, in a grueling labor camp for thirteen years. Many wives would have lost hope, but my grandmother was no average woman. A literature professor in a time when women’s access to education was limited, she assumed the role of matriarch with wisdom and confidence, providing financial and emotional security. As luxuries like yarn grew scarce, she conjured up all sorts of useful household items – durable pillowcases, blankets, and winter coats – and taught my mother to do the same. Because of these bitter wartime memories, she wanted my handiwork to be of a decidedly less practical bent; among the first objects she taught me to crochet were chrysanthemums and roses. However, making flowers bloom from yarn was no easy task.

Even with its soft plastic grip and friendly rounded edges, my first crochet hook had a mind of its own, like the enchanted broom in “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” It stubbornly disobeyed my orders as I impatiently wrenched it through the yarn. My grandmother’s stern appraisal of my efforts often interrupted this perpetual tug-of-war: My stitches were uneven. The edges curled inward. I would unravel my work and start anew.

I convinced myself that cobbling together a lopsided rectangle would be the pinnacle of my crochet prowess but refused to give up. Just as a diligent wizard casts more advanced spells over time, I learned to channel the magic of the crochet hook. The animal kingdom is my main source of inspiration; the diversity and vivid pigmentation of life on Earth lend themselves perfectly to the vibrant and versatile art of crochet. Many of the animals I make embark on migratory journeys, like their real-life counterparts. Take Agnes, for example, a cornflower-blue elephant named after mathematician Maria Gaetana Agnesi who lives in my calculus teacher’s classroom, happily grazing on old pencil shavings and worksheets. As I fasten off the final stitches on every creature, I hope to weave a little whimsy and color into someone’s life.

Each piece I finish reminds me of the network of stitches that connects mother and daughter, past and present, tradition and innovation.

Each piece I finish reminds me of the network of stitches that connects mother and daughter, past and present, tradition and innovation. In this vast cultural web, I am proud to be my family’s link between East and West. As I prepare for adulthood, I am eager to weave my own mark into the great patchwork quilt that is America.

Professional Review by PrepMaven

Clara’s essay seamlessly integrates her voice, family history, and current character into a moving and effective narrative. Here’s how:

She starts with a perfect opening. Through vivid, specific word choice (a nightstand of “glass-eyed specimens”), the essay showcases Clara’s voice and humor (“not a taxidermist”). At the same time, this essay quickly introduces the subject: crocheting.

The essay then “zooms out” to raise the stakes. Crocheting isn’t just a hobby: it’s a tradition that sustained Clara’s family through the Vietnam War. While Clara mentions the brutal reality of her family’s experiences, she quickly returns the focus to herself. It’s something many students forget: whatever your past struggles, your essay must be about you now.

Clara won't be deterred by failure, won't quit because something's tough.

The essay then gives us insight into her character. Clara won’t be deterred by failure, won’t quit because something’s tough. By focusing on her attempts to improve her crocheting skills, Clara displays the maturity, perseverance, and self-awareness often missing from application essays.

And Clara’s essay sticks the landing. We teach students to bridge past, present, and future in their essays. Clara does that: writing about crocheting allows Clara to end with a sophisticated discussion of how her family’s history informs not just her current life, but her future college goals.

Orlee's Essay

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I’m hiding behind the swing door of the dressing room when I text my mom just one word: “Traumatizing!” I’m on a bra-shopping expedition with my grandmother, and just in case it’s not abundantly clear, this trip was Not. My. Idea. Bra shopping has always been shrouded in mystery for me, and growing up in a household with two moms and two younger sisters hasn’t helped one bit: One of my moms doesn’t wear bras; the other proudly proclaims that her bras are older than me. A two-mom family without the faintest idea what a teenage girl needs—par for the course around here.

So when my 78-year-old grandmother volunteered to take me bra shopping, my moms jumped at the chance. Here I was with my frugal grandmother, outlet-shopping among the racks of intimates that aren’t sized quite right, that have too much padding or too little…You can see my predicament, and it’s no surprise that my younger self was confused by the words “wire-free,” “concealing petals,” “balconette.”

The saleswoman called to my grandmother from across the store, “What cup size is she?”

“I don’t know,” my grandmother screamed back. “Can you measure her?”

Measure me? They have got to be kidding.

“I just don’t want her to feel different,” I heard my grandmother say later that day. “Kids this age can be so mean.”

I love my grandmother, but she believes the world is harsh and unforgiving, and she thinks that the only path to happiness is fitting in. My grandmother had taken me bra shopping in a last-ditch attempt to make me “normal” because I was entering 9th grade at Deerfield in a few weeks, and she worried that I would stick out worse than the underwire of a bargain basement bra.

I'm a day student with lesbian moms who have several fewer zeros on their bank account balance than typical Deerfield parents.

It’s true—I’m not your typical Deerfield student. I’m a day student with lesbian moms who have several fewer zeros on their bank account balance than typical Deerfield parents. I’m the kid with a congenital foot deformity, which means I literally can’t run, who will never be able to sprint across campus from classroom to classroom. I’m the kid with life-threatening food allergies to milk and tree nuts who can’t indulge in the pizza at swim team celebrations or the festive cake and ice cream during advisory meetings.

But fitting in was my grandmother’s worry, not mine. What my grandmother didn’t consider is that there’s no single way to fit in. I might be two minutes later to class than the sprinters, but I always arrive. I might have to explain to my friends what “having two moms” means, but I’ll never stop being thankful that Deerfield students are eager to lean in and understand. I may not be able to eat the food, but you can count on me to show up and celebrate.

While I can’t run, I can swim and play water polo, and I can walk the campus giving Admissions tours. My family might not look like everyone else’s, but I can embrace those differences and write articles for the school newspaper or give a talk at “School Meeting,” sharing my family and my journey. Some of my closest friendships at Deerfield have grown from a willingness on both sides to embrace difference.

On one of the first days of 9th grade, I sat down to write a “Deerfield Bucket List”—a list of experiences that I wanted to have during my four years in high school, including taking a Deerfield international trip and making the Varsity swim team. That list included thirteen items, and I’m eleven-thirteenths of the way there, not because I have the right bra, but because I’ve embraced the very thing that my grandmother was afraid of. Bra shopping is still shrouded in mystery for me, but I know that I am where I should be, I’m doing work that matters to me, and fitting in rarely crosses my mind.

Professional Review by The College Guru

The Common App essay allows you to speak directly to Admissions, in your own voice, sharing important personal attributes and insights into who you are at your core, and demonstrating how you will enrich the college’s community. In choosing your topic, it is vitally important to remember that up until now, Admissions will have heard about you from everyone except you. Now, it’s your opportunity to shine, bringing your true personality to the forefront and showing how well you will fit in with the incoming class they are building.

Here, we meet Orlee as she is shopping for a bra, accompanied by her doting grandmother. Orlee dives right in, unexpectedly dropping us into an embarrassing, “traumatizing” moment she bravely chose to share. Within a few seconds, we are also introduced to her two self-described fashion-agnostic moms. This is just the first paragraph and I like her already. With an average of only a few minutes to read each essay, Admissions readers will want to find out where this is headed.

Early on, we learn that Orlee’s grandmother’s view of the world—“harsh and unforgiving”—makes her protective of Orlee and that her proposed solution is to help Orlee fit in so she will be perceived as “normal.” Initially, we think this essay is about teen angst, but in a surprise twist, Orlee quickly lets us know her grandmother’s fears about her fitting in are neither unreasonable nor unfounded.

Orlee reveals she has a congenital foot deformity limiting her ability to run and a severe, life-threatening food allergy. Now that she has our attention, she masterfully weaves in additional snapshots of her daily life, demonstrating how she bravely chooses to show up in difficult moments. Her straightforward descriptions are not manipulative, but instead, her outlook is upbeat. We learn about her perseverance and that she is always up for a challenge. She demonstrates how she finds ways to create space for herself so she will be included, and she rightfully doesn’t ask for permission or apologize for her physical challenges.

Mindful that others may be quick to put her in a box because of her apparent physical challenges, Orlee immediately focuses us on the many strengths she can contribute on campus, providing several clear illustrations of how she dives right in and overcomes others’ negative perceptions. She regales us with the countless ways she has found to enrich her school as a team player, lest we are tempted to fall into the unfortunate trap of underestimating her abilities.

⁤Orlee has set inspiring life goals, and her endearing high school bucket list is nearly complete. This student isn't afraid to go for it and get it.

Orlee has set inspiring life goals, and her endearing high school bucket list is nearly complete. This student isn’t afraid to go for it and get it. She is simply living her best life, and I find myself cheering for her!

This essay succeeds because it tells us who Orlee is and how she thrives, that she values friends and teammates, and will bring that same energy to her college community. She is intelligent, curious, confident, and kind. She sets her goals and charts her vision to support her worldview. “Fitting in rarely crosses [her] mind.” This is her Brand Story and I am here for it!

Marcus' Essay

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Successful Harvard Essay: ‘Identity’ & ‘Overcoming An Obstacle'

As late afternoon sunlight danced on my shoulders, I squished my eight-year-old face against the glass of the outdoor tank, eyes wide and searching for any signs of life. There! I scrambled from where I was seated, chasing the flickering sight of my prize. The otter darted away from me, his lithe body disappearing into a crack in the stones. I slumped against the wall, disappointed. Ever the HR representative, my mother saw my face and asked me what was wrong. I explained my frustration with the otters -- they’re so fun to watch, but they refuse to be seen. My mother leaned down, brushing a long lock of hair out of my face, and told me, “Sometimes, the animals get tired of being watched. They just want to be left alone.”

I didn’t think much of the otters after that. Until I became one.

In October of my sophomore year, I was four months into my transition from female to male. I wasn’t out to my extended family, my wardrobe was a haphazard mess of cargo shorts and skirts, and my voice was still, to my distress, annoyingly high. Being transgender at Middleton High School was no small feat -- I stuck out in a sea of over 2,000 cisgender peers, and most of my teachers did not know how to deal with people “in my situation,” as one put it.

One day, as I walked to my bus after school, I heard snickers from behind me. I turned around and saw a rowdy group of boys. One had his phone up, recording me. Everyone was laughing, and in an instant I knew they were laughing at me. I turned and walked away, doing my best to conceal myself from their view. The laughter continued.

I was the star of a humiliating show that I never asked to be a part of. I had become the otter. Their laughs kept ringing in my ears as I sat alone on the bus. I wanted to crawl inside myself and implode rather than think about going back to face them again the next day. My phone kept buzzing, but I refused to check it. It was only when I arrived home and checked those messages that I found that the video had been posted across social media for hundreds of my peers to see. It seemed like nothing, just a video of me walking, turning, and looking away. But their laughs were clear in the background, and I still understood the point of the video -- look at the freak. Look at the new zoo exhibit.

Seeing that video, I realized that I couldn’t allow myself to turn into what they saw me as. They wanted an otter, a punching bag that wouldn’t fight back. I was not going to be their otter. The next day, I went to my first Sexuality and Gender Equality club meeting. I spoke to the administration about what had happened. I saved the video and showed people. I took control.

Maybe they'll never see me as an equal, but that is their blindness, not mine.

Those boys wanted me to believe that I was merely an exhibit to be laughed at, but now I know I live for greater things. I live for lattes, for courtroom closing arguments, for the pesto I make at work. I live for Black Lives Matter and #enough and Pride. I live for kayaking and summer camp, for the kids in SAGE and my younger sister. My classmates tried to dehumanize me, trample me, and mold me into their image of transgender people. Maybe they’ll never see me as an equal, but that is their blindness, not mine. I do not live on display. I do not live in a zoo.

Professional Review by MR. MBA®, Val Misra

Marcus does an excellent job of creating a deeply heartfelt, introspective, and triumphant personal development story in this thought-provoking essay focusing on ‘identity’ and ‘overcoming an obstacle’. It can be risky to discuss two major themes, but he interweaves them flawlessly. Each paragraph stands alone as wonderful insight, written in beautiful creative prose, into Marcus’ journey- from childhood confusion (encounter with the otter) to future self-discovery and isolation (he becomes the otter), to self-acceptance and determination (he will not be bullied), and ultimately to victory (his passion and love for his life).

In Paragraphs 1-2, Marcus' individual anecdote on the zoo otter is highly effective to frame the larger discussion of his challenging transition from cisgender to transgender.

In Paragraphs 1-2, Marcus’ individual anecdote on the zoo otter is highly effective to frame the larger discussion of his challenging transition from cisgender to transgender. His mother’s wisdom about an otter’s reasoning for self-isolation shines brightly, setting the foundation for what is to come. Marcus’ self-comparison to the otter he once saw in the zoo intrigues me to read on.

Para 3 effectively highlights the difficulties he endured during his transition in high school- his coming out, his clothing, his high-pitched voice, and academic faculty challenges. These examples help the reader understand his plight.

Para 4-5 depict Marcus’ self-realization that he has now become the zoo otter- a show piece, a “freak”, something he never asked to be. He weaves a sad, rather troubling encounter in high school of bullying and public humiliation that causes him sorrow, isolation and questioning his self-worth. Marcus’ honesty invokes true emotions and I really feel for him.

The ‘A-ha’ moment arrives in Para 6, where Marcus crafts delightful, deep introspection and realization that he will not be the butt of jokes but an agent of change. He takes “control” by attending club meetings and speaking with school faculty.

Para 7 embodies the victory lap, as Marcus details his joys, self-acceptance and who he is now. He loves coffee, the law, his work, kayaking, his sister, Black Lives Matter and sex-gender associations. Wisdom is shared through his understanding that he cannot change the ignorance of others but live a purposeful, passion-filled life as his new self- a sincere message to the reader and, likely, others like him.

Overall, this winning essay takes the reader on a vivid, emotional and well-structured journey, sharing the author’s unique experiences and why these experiences are significant for his growth and maturity.

Michelle's Essay

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Fish Out of Water: idiom. a person who is in an unnatural environment; completely out of place.

When I was ten, my dad told me we were moving to somewhere called "Eely-noise." The screen flashed blue as he scrolled through 6000 miles of water on Google Earth to find our new home. Swipe, swipe, swipe, and there it was: Illinois, as I later learned.

Moving to America was like going from freshwater into saltwater.

Moving to America was like going from freshwater into saltwater. Not only did my mom complain that American food was too salty, but I was helplessly caught in an estuary of languages, swept by daunting tides of tenses, articles, and homonyms. It’s not a surprise that I developed an intense, breathless kind of thirst for what I now realize is my voice and self-expression.

This made sense because the only background I had in English was “Konglish”--an unhealthy hybrid of Korean and English--and broken phrases I picked up from SpongeBob. As soon as I stepped into my first class in America, I realized the gravity of the situation: I had to resort to clumsy pantomimes, or what I euphemistically called body language, to convey the simplest messages. School became an unending game of pictionary.

Amid the dizzying pool of vowels and phonemes and idioms (why does spilling beans end friendships?), the only thing that made sense was pictures and diagrams. Necessarily, I soon became interested in biology as its textbook had the highest picture-to-text ratio. Although I didn’t understand all the ant-like captions, the colorful diagrams were enough to catch my illiterate attention: a green ball of chyme rolling down the digestive tract, the rotor of the ATP synthase spinning like a waterwheel. Biology drew me with its ELL-friendliness and never let go.

I later learned in biology that when a freshwater fish goes in saltwater, it osmoregulates--it drinks a lot of water and urinates less. This used to hold true for my school day, when I constantly chugged water to fill awkward silences and lubricate my tongue to form better vowels. This habit in turn became a test of English-speaking and bladder control: I constantly missed the timing to go to the bathroom by worrying about how to ask. The only times I could express myself were through my fingers, between the pages of Debussy and under my pencil tip. To fulfill my need for self-expression and communication, I took up classical music, visual art, and later, creative writing. To this day, I will never forget the ineffable excitement when I delivered a concerto, finished a sculpture, and found beautiful words that I could not pronounce. If biology helped me understand, art helped me be understood.

There’s something human, empathetic, even redemptive about both art and biology. While they helped me reconcile with English and my new home, their power to connect and heal people is much bigger than my example alone. In college and beyond, I want to pay them forward, whether by dedicating myself to scientific research, performing in benefit concerts, or simply sharing the beauty of the arts. Sometimes, language feels slippery like fish on my tongue. But knowing that there are things that transcend language grounds and inspires me. English seeped into my tongue eventually, but I still pursue biology and arts with the same, perhaps universal, exigency and sincerity: to understand and to be understood.

Over the years, I have come to acknowledge and adore my inner fish, that confused, tongue-twisted and home-sick ELL kid from the other side of the world, which will forever coexist within me. And I’ve forgiven English, although I still can’t pronounce words like “rural,” because it gifted me with new passions to look forward to every day. Now, when I see kids with the same breathless look that I used to have gasping for home water, Don’t worry, I want to tell them.

You’ll find your water.

Professional Review by HS2 Academy

Michelle’s essay offers the reader a picturesque and witty journey through their immigrant experience of adapting to their new life in Illinois (Eely-noise!). While some immigrant experience essays can come across as predictable, Michelle deftly crafts an extended metaphor using the idiom of a “fish out of water” to connect their passions for both biology and art with their evolving struggle to master English. The uniqueness comes in the candid and often humorous depictions of Michelle’s everyday struggles with language, from initially resorting to “clumsy pantomimes” to signal an intent to go to the bathroom to their “ineffable excitement” at finding beautiful new words to express themselves, showcasing Michelle’s eventual growth into an articulate writer in full command of the English language.

It's evident that Michelle genuinely loves writing and relishes finding the right words to convey their thoughts, showcasing their tenacity and love of learning.

Michelle’s diverse passions, ranging from music, to art, to biology, are on full display in this essay, but what’s most impressive is Michelle’s nuanced and introspective journaling of adapting to American life and culture. It’s evident that Michelle genuinely loves writing and relishes finding the right words to convey their thoughts, showcasing their tenacity and love of learning. Michelle’s sincere exuberance for growing as a writer and artist shines throughout this essay, with a warmth and humor that’s infectious.

Michael's Essay

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I’ve been alone for three years now.

My freshman year, my mother had to take a job as a live-in caregiver to make enough money to pay rent and other bills after my uncle got married and moved out. I was ecstatic. I could finally have the entire house to myself. I had imagined the countless hours on the PS4, nobody telling me to go to sleep or to go do my homework. I felt free. Unexpectedly, though, this freedom came at the expense of my childhood.

To compensate for never being home, my mother called me three times a day. The first call would always be at 6:00 a.m, like clockwork. That was the call to wake me up so that I wouldn’t miss the bus and be late for school. Then there was the 4:00 p.m call where we went over anything and everything that happened in school that day. Lastly, there was the 7:00 p.m call which always seemed to last over an hour. This was the call that made me miss my mother the most. We labeled this call the “multi-purpose” call. Sometimes we would just talk about how we were both doing. Other times she would teach me things I needed to know, like how to do laundry, how to go grocery shopping, or how to cook. But one thing that she always seemed to bring up was how she wished things were different and how much she ached with the desire to be home with her son.

She would always say how I was her pride and joy, but I've always thought of myself to be her hope, her hope for a better life.

That last call always weighed heavily on my heart. When around friends and their families, I would often put my head down and smile because their interactions would remind me so much of when my mother was with me every day. It made me miss her insurmountably, to the point where I began to despise every aspect of this “independence.” To me, it was loneliness, isolation, and nights laying in bed wishing I had a loved one in the house that I could talk to or hug. I was forced to become a man instead of living out my days as a kid. What hurt me the most, though, was knowing that my mother hated our situation even more than I did. She hated knowing her only child was growing up without her and it hurt her more than words could explain. She would always say how I was her pride and joy, but I’ve always thought of myself to be her hope, her hope for a better life.

That is why I have worked so hard in school. My mother has dedicated and sacrificed years of her life to make sure that her son could live a great one, and all she has ever asked from me in return was to do well in school. There were numerous times when I felt discouraged and unmotivated, but the thought of letting down the woman that has broken her back for me was far stronger than any fatigue I may have felt.

For three long years now, I have entered my house after school expecting nothing but silence and darkness. I lay in bed at night yearning to hear any sound at all that would signal that there was life in the house beside me. Then I wake up the next morning, get ready for school, and start the cycle all over again. I have almost gotten used to being alone. But I won’t let my story end here. The reason why I have worked myself so hard is so that things can be different for me and my mother. She always says that everything she’s doing now is for me and that when she gets old it’ll be my turn. Except when my turn comes, she will never have to be alone.

Professional Review by Quad Education

Michael’s essay begins with a gripping hook, leaving the reader wondering why he is alone. He reveals his mother's sacrifices and his initial excitement at newfound freedom, which quickly turns into the burden of a lost childhood. The essay effectively uses the routine of their daily phone calls to highlight his deep connection with his mother and the pain of their separation.

Michael's forced independence, unlike the typical chosen independence of college freshmen, emphasizes his resilience and maturity.

Michael’s forced independence, unlike the typical chosen independence of college freshmen, emphasizes his resilience and maturity. Despite the emotional toll, he channels his determination into academic excellence, driven by his mother’s sacrifices and his desire to ensure a better future for both of them.

This essay excels in presenting a clear and compelling narrative of personal growth under challenging circumstances beyond one’s control. Michael’s story demonstrates his maturity, resilience, and commitment, qualities that suggest he would thrive in a rigorous academic environment. His motivation and determination show he is not only ready for college but also has the potential to effect positive change in society. These are hallmarks of what Harvard seeks in potential students.

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Extracurriculars.

3 Successful Extracurricular Activity Essay Examples

The purpose of the extracurricular activities essay is for admissions officers to better understand how your extracurricular activities have shaped and motivated you. This essay shouldn’t restate the activities you’ve already shared in your resume, but should elaborate on their impact and significance to you as a person.

In this post, we will share three extracurricular essays, written by real students, that are strong responses. Read them to be inspired in your own essay writing!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Essay Example #1

My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldn’t help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonata’s third movement, a longtime dream of mine.

Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The piece’s tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered.

But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row.

Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say I’ve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay has a descriptive and engaging hook that immediately places the reader in the middle of the action and captivates us for the rest of the essay. The way the student describes playing piano as a full-body experience, from their splayed out fingers to their tensed shoulders, allows the reader to envision the student in front of them, passionately losing themselves in the music. Seeing the way they write about the piano is a sign that this student is dedicated to this extracurricular.

Another strength of this essay is how it shows this student’s character, particularly their determination. By describing the challenge of playing this piece, we can fully appreciate all that they had to overcome to be successful. Rather than simply saying it was a hard song, they show us how it was physically and mentally daunting: “ The piece’s tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered.”

This student knows how to make music in their writing, as well as on the piano. The use of elevated and creative language throughout the essay makes it flow smoothly for the reader. They take a rather simple story, but through their deft writing the student makes it both enjoyable and reveals details about themself.

What Could Be Improved

This essay could have been made even stronger if this student included details about them actually practicing. They go from telling us about how daunting this piece was to suddenly being able to play it months later, but admissions officers are curious about how you overcome challenges, not just the fact that you did.

Two or three sentences that describe the tedious process of practicing a particular scale or how they continuously messed up a certain bar of music would be sufficient to express what this student actually accomplished. Although space is tight in this essay, this would have been a better use of the third paragraph than what the student currently has.

Essay Example #2

My school’s newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as we’re entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences; at this point I’ve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. I’ve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationship—with twelve other editors, there’s a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork I’ve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.

This response is great. It’s cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a “love-hate relationship,” then supplementing with comments like “We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences” allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way.

Personifying the newspaper is a creative way to demonstrate the role it plays in this student’s life. Because it is an unexpected tactic, it lets the reader appreciate the humor and wit of the author, while also being a lighthearted and fun response to read.

While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how you’ve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how you’ve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.

One strike against this essay is that in the first sentence it claims the student has a love-hate relationship with the newspaper, but the rest of the essay really only addresses their experience from a positive perspective. They say the “ mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver ” but there is little-to-no elaboration about the negatives. Since they poised their essay as a love-hate relationship, it feels like it is missing something without any discussion about the hate aspect of the relationship.

Essay Example #3

The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didn’t prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.

As I sat down with my congresswoman’s chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I don’t need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study government—I want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career.

The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the student’s extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.

While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their field—an apt choice!

As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goals—they want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this student’s ethnicity. With lines like “my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,” the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.

Something that is missing from this essay is the emotional reflection this student has from their experiences in politics. They tell us they felt like a participant in democracy and they know they want to study government and make a difference, but for a really strong essay you need to dig deeper and tell the reader more about how this extracurricular makes you feel.

What does it feel like to be a participant in democracy? Liberating? Empowering? How did volunteering impact them personally? Did they develop a new appreciation for what it means to be an American? What feeling is this student trying to elicit by studying government? While all of these questions don’t have to be addressed, the idea is to inject more of the student’s feelings and emotion into the essay to help us better understand exactly what this extracurricular meant to them.

More Supplemental Essay Tips

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Where to Get Your Extracurricular Activity Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Extracurricular Activity essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Answering Prompt 1

2. Reflect on Your Unique Experiences

3. Dive Deep into Personal Growth

4. Connect to Harvard

5. Be Concise and Authentic

Answering Prompt 2

1. Define "Intellectual Experience"

2. Choose a Meaningful Experience

3. Delve into the "Why"

4. Highlight Personal Growth

5. Be Authentic and Reflective

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Answering Prompt 3

1. Prioritize Depth Over Quantity

2. Choose a Defining Experience

3. Describe the Experience

4. Reflect on the Impact

5. Connect to the Present

Answering Prompt 4

1. Reflect on Your Goals

2. Highlight Harvard's Unique Offerings

3. Draw a Connection

4. Go Beyond the Obvious

5. Discuss the Broader Impact

6. Stay Authentic

Answering Prompt 5

1. Reflect on Your Personality

2. Balance Seriousness with Lightness

3. Be Genuine

4. Consider Your Daily Life

5. Reflect on Past Living Experiences

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