how to be a good father essay

Essay on Qualities Of A Good Father

Students are often asked to write an essay on Qualities Of A Good Father in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Qualities Of A Good Father

Understanding and patience.

A good father has a deep understanding of his children. He knows their strengths, weaknesses, and interests. He is also patient. He knows that kids make mistakes. Instead of getting angry, he uses these moments to teach them important life lessons.

A supportive father always stands by his children. He encourages them to follow their dreams and helps them achieve their goals. He praises their achievements and motivates them to do better.

A good father is a role model for his children. He leads by example. He shows his kids how to respect others, be honest, and work hard. He teaches them the importance of good character.

Love and Care

A good father showers his children with love and care. He spends quality time with them, listens to their problems, and gives them advice. He makes sure they feel loved and cherished.

Consistency

250 words essay on qualities of a good father.

A good father is understanding and patient. He listens to his children’s worries and dreams. He gives them time to share their feelings. He does not get angry quickly. Even when his kids make mistakes, he stays calm and helps them learn.

A good father is also a role model. He shows his children how to behave by his actions, not just his words. He is honest, kind, and hard-working. He treats everyone with respect. This way, his children learn to do the same.

Support is another quality of a good father. He supports his children’s dreams and goals. He encourages them to work hard and do their best. He is there to cheer them up when they are sad and celebrate when they achieve something.

Teaches Life Skills

A good father also teaches his children important life skills. He shows them how to cook, clean, and manage money. He helps them become independent. He also teaches them how to solve problems and make good decisions.

Above all, a good father loves and cares for his children. He makes them feel safe and protected. He spends quality time with them. He shows them they are important and loved, no matter what.

500 Words Essay on Qualities Of A Good Father

Introduction.

A good father plays a significant role in a child’s life. They guide, support, and love their children unconditionally. While every father is unique, there are common qualities that good fathers share. This essay will explore some of these qualities.

A good father needs to have patience. Children often make mistakes and can be challenging at times. A patient father understands this and doesn’t get angry easily. Instead, they calmly guide their child, helping them to learn from their mistakes.

Respect is a two-way street. A good father respects his children and teaches them to respect others. They show this by listening to their child’s thoughts and feelings, acknowledging their rights, and treating them with kindness and fairness.

A good father is a positive role model. They lead by example, showing their children the right way to behave through their actions. They are honest, hard-working, and kind. By being a good role model, they teach their children important life values.

Communicative

In conclusion, a good father is patient, supportive, respectful, a good role model, and communicative. They guide their children with love and understanding, helping them to grow into confident and capable adults. While no father is perfect, striving to possess these qualities can make a significant difference in a child’s life.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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in: Fatherhood , Featured , People

Guest Contributor • August 3, 2008 • Last updated: May 30, 2021

The Awesome Dad Cheat Sheet: 18 Fatherhood Tips They Should’ve Handed Out at the Delivery Room

Photo by free parking

Editor’s note : This is a guest post from Leo Babauta of Zen Habits , a father of six children.

Being a father can be a wonderful thing, once you get past all the gross stuff, all the stressful events, the loss of privacy, and the bewildering numbers of ways you can screw it up.

But other than those few things, fatherhood is wonderful.

Every dad has fears that he won’t be a great dad, that he’ll mess up, that he’ll be a failure. It comes with the job.

Unfortunately, what doesn’t come with the job is a simple set of instructions. As guys, we often will skip the manual, figuring we can wing it … but when things go wrong, it’s nice to have that manual to go back to. Fatherhood needs that manual.

And while, as the father of six children, you might say that I’m qualified to write such a manual, it’s not true — I’m winging it like everyone else. However, I’ve been a father for more than 15 years, and with six kids I’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t, what’s important and what you can safely ignore (unlike that odd grating sound coming from your engine).

What follows are the fatherhood tips I wish they’d passed out to me upon the delivery of my first child. It would have helped a ton. I hope they’ll help you become an even more awesome dad than you already are — feel free to refer back to them as a cheat sheet, anytime you need some help.

• Cherish your time with them . One thing that will amaze you is how quickly the years will fly. My oldest daughter is 15, which means I have three short years with her before she leaves the nest. That’s not enough time! The time you have with them is short and precious — make the most of it. Spend as much time as you can with them, and make it quality, loving time. Try to be present as much as possible while you’re with them too — don’t let your mind drift away, as they can sense that.
• It gets easier. Others may have different experiences, but I’ve always found the first couple of months the most difficult, when the baby is brand new and wants to feed at all hours of the night and you often have sleepless nights and walk around all day like zombies. It gets easier, as they get a regular sleeping pattern. The first couple of years are also a lot more demanding than later years, and as they hit middle school they become almost functioning, independent adults. It gets easier, trust me.
• Don’t look at anything as “mom” duties — share responsibilities . While there are a lot of good things from our grandparents’ day that we should bring back, the traditional dad/mom split of parenting duties isn’t one of them. Some men still look at certain duties as “mom” duties, but don’t be one of those dads. Get involved in everything, and share the load with your baby mama. Changing diapers, giving baths, getting them dressed, even feeding them (you can give them breast milk in a bottle).
• Love conquers all . This one sounds corny, but it should be at the center of your dad operating philosophy: above all, show your children love. When you’re upset, instead of yelling, show them love. When they are upset, show them love. When they least expect it, show them love. Everything else is just details.
• Kids like making decisions . While it is easier to be an authoritarian parent, what you’re teaching your child is to submit to orders no matter what. Instead, teach your child to make decisions, and he’ll grow up much more capable — and happier. Kids like freedom and decisions, just like any other human beings. Your job is to allow them to make decisions, but within the parameters that you set. Give them a choice between two healthy breakfasts, for example, rather than allowing them to eat a bowl of sugar if they choose to.
• A little patience goes a long way . As a parent, I know as well as anyone how easy it is to lose your patience and temper. However, allowing yourself to react in anger or frustration is not the best thing for your child, and you must remember that. That means you need to take a deep breath, or a walk, when you start to lose your patience. Practice patience with your child and your relationship, and your child, will benefit over the long run.
• Sense of humor required . There will be times when your child does something that might make you blow your lid — writing in crayon all over the walls is a good one, as is dumping some kind of liquid on your couch, or sneaking out and taking your car to meet up with friends. While you need to teach your child not to do these things, it’s better to just laugh at the humor in the situation. I’ve learned to do this more often, and it helps me keep my sanity.
• Read to them, often . Whether you’re a reader or not, reading to your children (from the time they’re babies onward) is crucial. It gets them in the habit of reading, and prepares them for a lifetime of learning. It gives you some special time together, and become a tradition your child will cherish. I read with all my children, from my 2-year-old and my 15-year-old, and love every word we read together. See my list of Best All-Time Children’s Books .
• Don’t be the absent dad . The biggest mistake that dads make are not being there for their children. Always, always set aside time each day and each week for your children. Don’t let anything violate this sacred time. And at those big moments in your child’s life — a soccer game, a music recital, a science fair — do you very best to be there. It means the world.
• Let them play . Kids really develop through playing — and while it might seem obvious, you should allow them as much free play as possible. That’s aside from TV and video games (see below), aside from reading, aside from anything structured or educational. Just let them play, and make things up, and have fun.
• Spark their imagination . Free play, mentioned above, is the best way to develop the imagination, but sometimes you can provide a little spark. Play with your kids, creating forts, dressing up as ninjas, role playing, imagining you’re explorers or characters in a movie or book … the possibilities are endless, and you’ll have as much fun as they will.
• Limit TV and video games . I’m not saying you have to be Amish or anything, but too much of this type of entertainment keeps them from doing more imaginative playing, from reading, from getting outside to exercise . I recommend an hour a day of “media time”, but you can find the amount that works for you and your family.
• Learn the “firm no” . While I’m all for giving kids the freedom to choose, and for free play, and lots of other freedoms, there should be limits. Parents who don’t set boundaries are going to have children with behavior problems, who have problems when they grow up. And if it’s not good to always say “yes”, it’s also not good for the child to say “no” at first … and then cave in when they throw a temper tantrum or beg and plead. Teach them that your “no” is firm, but only say “no” when you really feel that it’s a boundary you need to set.
• Model good behavior . It’s one thing to tell you child what she should do, but to say one thing and do another just ruins the message. In fact, the real lesson your child will learn is what you do. Your child is always watching you, to learn appropriate behavior. Excessive drinking or smoking or drug use by parents, for example, will become ingrained in the child’s head. Bad manners, inconsiderate behavior, sloppy habits, anger and a negative attitude, laziness and greed … all these behaviors will rub off on your child. Instead, model the behavior you’d like your child to learn.
• Treat their mother with respect, always . Some fathers can be abusive toward their spouse, and that will lead to a cycle of abuse when the child grows up. But beyond physical or verbal abuse, there’s the milder sin against the child’s mother: disrespectful behavior. If you treat your child’s mother with disrespect, your child will not only learn that behavior, but grow up with insecurities and other emotional problems. Treat your child’s mother with respect at all times.
• Let them be themselves . Many parents try to mold their child into the person they want their child to be … even if the child’s personality doesn’t fit that mold. Instead, instill good behaviors and values in your child, but give your child freedom to be himself. Children, like all humans, have quirks and different personalities. Let those personalities flourish. Love your child for who he is, not who you want him to be.
• Teach them independence . From an early age, teach your children to do things for themselves, gradually letting them be more independent as they grow older. While it may seem difficult and time-consuming to teach your child to do something that you could do much faster yourself, it’s worth it in the long run, for the child’s self-confidence and also in terms of how much you have to do. For example, my kids know how to wash their own dishes, help clean the house, clean their rooms, fold and put away laundry, shower, groom and dress themselves, and much more — saving a lot of time and work for me. Even my 2-year-old knows how to pick things up when she’s told to do so.
• Stand together with mom . It’s no good to have one parent say one thing, just to have the other contradict that parent. Instead, you and mom should be working together as a parenting team, and should stand by each other’s decisions. That said, it’s important that you talk out these decisions beforehand, so that you don’t end up having to support a decision you strongly disagree with.

Related Posts

23 Qualities of a Good Father – Traits & Characteristics

When I first became a Dad, I was clueless. So I decided to look into the characteristics, traits, and qualities of a good father.

The qualities of a good father include:

• Spending time actively involved with your kids
• Modeling the behavior you expect in them
• Taking ownership when you make mistakes
• Limiting their time on technology
• Treating their mother with dignity
• He practices being a good listener
• Understanding that our kids may have different opinions

But that’s only a quick snapshot. Being a dad is not an easy job. In fact, learning the qualities of a good father is a very challenging task.

Luckily, you aren’t the first dad on the block. There are a lot of great fathers out there and we can learn the description of a good father from all of them.

The trick isn’t to be perfect. But the trick is to learn from others as well as from our mistakes.

In this post, we’re diving deep into fatherhood, and specifically what the qualities of a good father are. More importantly, we’re looking at some simple ways you can implement these in your life today to be a better parent tomorrow.

So let’s review the . . .

23 Qualities of a Good Father You Probably Didn’t Know

1. be present and involved.

Just because we may be the ones providing for our family doesn’t mean that we should leave this duty exclusively to the moms. I get involved by communicating with my children.

I talk to my kids and know who their friends are, what troubles them, what are they afraid of, what they like to do, so on and so forth.

• Connect with them , talk to them and listen to them
• Have clear work/life boundaries – If you work from home, need time to yourself or have other projects needing to be done, just communicate your needs, set times for those that everyone is clear on and reconnect when you’re done
• Put the technology down and just talk with them

2. Say you’re sorry

When we take ownership of our mistakes, we’re teaching our kids to take responsibility for theirs.

Whether with our kids, or maybe with a subordinate at work there is nothing quite so powerful as apologizing for our mistakes. We all make mistakes and they know that.

But when we try and pretend we didn’t, or act like it never happened, that actually makes us look weaker in their eyes

3. Spend quality time with your family

You may be busy at work, but it’s important that you make time for your family.

When they’re older your wife and kids won’t remember you worked hard to provide for them; they’ll remember you weren’t there.

In the description of a good father, prioritizing your family and work/life balance are crucial .

Make them a priority. Create memories with your wife and children. Book a cruise, a beach holiday or simply watch a movie together at the theatre.

On a budget?  Board games, sports, hiking or other simple family activities work great.  Your kids just want to be with you. 

What you do almost doesn’t matter.

4. Take an active interest in their interests

Guess what?  I’m not a huge Katie Perry fan.  But you know how many times I’ve heard her music?  It’s well into the hundreds.

I also took my oldest daughter to see Panic! at the Disco in concert with one of her BFFs. Not exactly my scene (but I actually was impressed).

When you take an interest in your kid’s interests, you’re taking an interest in them.  You’re telling them you care about them as a person.

Nothing feels better to a kid than that!

5. Let kids develop their own interests

When I was 10 guess what?  I liked a lot of different stuff than what my Mom liked. And that’s OK.

It’s OK to influence our kid’s taste (that’s why I kept playing Star Wars movies until they clicked).

But we have to accept that our kids are going to not like everything we like.

They will like some stuff we don’t and that’s OK (as long as what they like is age-appropriate)

6. Don’t have a different set of rules for your kids than you do for yourself

No one likes a hypocrite, so why should our kids be any different?

Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Example: In our house, Sunday is “technology-free day”, so my wife and I do our best to avoid technology for personal use as well.

7. Model the behavior you expect from them

Don’t want them swearing at school?  Guess what you shouldn’t do in front of them?

Want to teach your sons to be respectful to women ?  They will model how you treat their mother. Lose your cool every time someone cuts you off in traffic?  You’re teaching them to be impatient and hot-headed.

The qualities of a good father have to include you leading by example.

8. Explain to them the “why” behind the rule

How many times have parents said “because I said so” or “because I’m your father”.

Guess what?  Those aren’t reasons (at least not good ones).

It’s crucial that kids understand why they are being grounded. Why a privilege is being taken away or even why they can’t watch Saw III.

As Dave Ramsey is fond of saying, “ to be clear is to be kind ”.

When they understand, they will be more apt to accept it. They’ll be less apt to do it again (if they were doing something wrong). And (perhaps most importantly) they will respect you more for taking the time to explain yourself and not just pull rank.

9. Give yourself a timeout when needed

When we talk to our kids in the heat of the moment we aren’t always in the best frame of mind to deal with them.

There’s NOTHING wrong with waiting to have a conversation until you are in the frame of mind to communicate effectively .

Talking to them when we are angry at best makes them yell back.

Then it escalates the whole thing.

Neither is actually listening to the other and instead just waiting their turn to talk (or yell).  At worst, it teaches our kids to be scared of us and being scared of our parents is one of the worst feelings we can have.

Being a “do as I say, not as I do” parent has no place in your description of a good father.

Want to know the 2 Best Selling Parenting Books available on Amazon Prime?

There is How Children Succeed : Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character (CLICK HERE to check current prices on Amazon) by Paul Tough.

This book has almost 5 stars and 900 reviews.

This book covers “Drawing on groundbreaking research in neuroscience, economics, and psychology, Tough shows that the qualities that matter most have less to do with IQ and more to do with character: skills like grit, curiosity, conscientiousness, and optimism.”

Then there is also The Whole-Brain Child : 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind (CLICK HERE to check current prices on Amazon) by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson.

“In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the best-selling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson demystify the meltdowns and aggravation, explaining the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.”

This book also features upwards of 5 stars and over 800 reviews so you know both of these are excellent books.

Enjoy either one of them for free as an audiobook when you sign up for a free 14 day trial with Audible (click to learn more on Amazon) !

10. Set clear boundaries

We are their parents, not their friends.

That doesn’t mean we don’t love them unconditionally. And it doesn’t mean we don’t take an interest in their interests.

But at the end of the day, our most important job is to keep them safe and educate them so they can go on to be productive people in society.

Kids WANT structure.

They want guidelines and they crave the safety and security of knowing the boundaries.

Sure as they enter their teen years (or heck, sometimes their 3’s) they may test those boundaries but don’t ever doubt the need to set clear rules and boundaries.

11. Set clear expectations

As with #10, it’s important that kids clearly know what’s expected of them.  No one likes living with vague.

When we are clear (as in, “when you come home from school today I want you to clean your room before you go play and I want to see it when you’re done”) our kids know EXACTLY what they need to do .

Nothing feels better than knowing exactly what I need to do.

But within reason, give our kids the end goal and maybe a time frame but allow them the freedom to map out how they get there.

You won’t be there to micromanage their whole life, so letting them explore now sets them up for success later.

12. Protect your kids

Dads are traditionally known for their role as a protector of the family.

There are many ways to protect your kids beyond the physical;

• Having life insurance (click to read my best tips)  for yourself
• Saving for kid’s college   (click to read my guide)
• Making sure you have an emergency fund (click to read my article) in place for unexpected large expenses

13. Loving your kids doesn’t mean you have to love everything they do

I love my daughters, but if they spit, are mean to each other or otherwise do something I don’t like, I correct the behavior.

I do it because I love them.

The description of a good father has to include the strength to say no, correct inappropriate behavior and ensure their safety and well-being.

As you navigate what it means to be a parent, you may wonder at some point if there’s one “right way” to parent.

In truth, there are a lot of ways to parent , some better than others. But the Parenting Styles Preferred by Child Psychologists (click to read my article which reveals that), might surprise you!

14. Set consequences for poor choices

As with the above passages, kids have to learn that there are consequences for poor choices.

When we fail to set consequences we are setting them up for failure in life . After all, what country out there allows people to do whatever they want, whenever they want no matter who else it effects.

It’s not about beating them (figuratively) into submission, or suppressing their creativity; this is about teaching them physics.

For EVERY action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

That’s just the way the world works and failing to set consequences is not only setting them up for failure and disappointment, but it’s also just downright cruel.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting you spank kids, threaten kids, scare kids, etc.

Consequences don’t need to be scary ; they just need to be clear and they need to be the temporary loss of a privilege the child places value on.

The qualities of a good father must include sometimes laying down the law.

15. Don’t make others suffer for the sake of a “teachable moment”

We have all seen those parents. 

The ones whose kids go crazy, make a scene, yell and scream in an indoor public place. They otherwise disrupt everyone else’s day while the parent pretends not to notice and does nothing.

Guess what? 

In those situations:

• Remove your child from the situation (so they aren’t a danger to themselves or a disruption to others)
• Take them somewhere private
• Let them calm down
• Give clear instructions on what is needed before they can resume normal activities

Our decisions with our kids should not be a burden to others. And it’s not cute to let your 3-year-old run around the place yelling at top volume.

Most importantly, this teaches our kids to be respectful to others and to understand that our rights end where the next person’s begins.

16. Follow through on your promises (and if you fall short every now and then, see #2)

Kids count on us for all kinds of things from homework to coming to ballet recitals.

Is there anything more torturous than suffering through watching all the other kids do ballet while waiting for that 3-minute glimpse of yours?

When we promise our kid we will be there for something, we need to make that the top priority for the day.

Missing that school play or soccer game because something came up at work or your buddies decided to go out for a beer can ruin your kid’s experience.

It teaches them that they aren’t important to us.  Nothing feels worse than that .

So one of the most important qualities of a good father is to do what you say you will do; honor your commitments.

Ultimately being a good dad or parent just means understanding your Role of Parents in a Child’s Life (click to read my article). That role will change over time, and you won’t always get it right. But it’s crucial that we keep moving forward.

If you aren’t sure what your role is, make sure to check out my linked post above which walks you through the stuff that really matters.

17. Tell & show your kids you love them every day

Sometimes, dads are not as affectionate with their children (as Moms).

Maybe it’s a dad’s nature to show kids that they are the authority? However, dads should never fail to show their love to their kids. Hug them, they need it.

That way when life gets tough they’ll never doubt your love for them.

• I say “I love you” to my kids at least twice every day (and have since they were born) It may seem simple or obvious or redundant, but it matters.
• I don’t ever want them to doubt my love and I hope that if they are ever in trouble or maybe make some poor decisions in high school (been there, done that) that they will remember that and not be afraid to ask for help.

18. Treat your spouse (or ex) with dignity

Again, it seems obvious but it’s worth repeating.

You and your spouse (or ex) WILL argue (it happens to the best of us), but don’t do it in front of the kids.

More importantly, don’t EVER let it get physical.

Focus on describing the behavior you object to and how it makes you feel. After all, it’s the behavior you disagree with and not the person as a whole.

Avoid name-calling and profanity at all costs.

Doing these negative things could damage your kid’s self-esteem and how they view you. It would also have an effect on their relationships with the women in their lives.

So one of the qualities of a good father and spouse is to treat them the way you want to be treated.

Treat them with kindness and empathy. Be open with them and be vulnerable. Take ownership of your marital mistakes and be forgiving with theirs.

Understand that the two of you are on the same team with the same goals and while you may occasionally differ on methods, never forget you both want the same things.

Related: Top Reasons for Divorce and How You Can Avoid Them (click to read on my site)

19. Don’t use profanity in front of the kids until they are in high school

Many of us in today’s world occasionally use profanity.

Some more than others, but in most segments of society, it’s still seen as crude or rude and at best it’s unnecessary.

I get this makes me old-fashioned , but I’m OK with that label and I still believe this approach is best for the kid.

That doesn’t mean I think you’re a terrible parent if you’ve dropped the occasional F-bomb around them, but one of the qualities of a good father is putting our needs second (at least some of the time) and that includes our wanting to talk like a Tarantino script when we’re around them.

Our kids will eventually hear and possibly use a lot of curse words, but they don’t need to start young and they don’t need to learn that behavior from us.

If we teach our kids at a young age to use profanity, we’re limiting their options for the future and set them up to get in trouble in school and to be judged at work and in life.

20. Let them be a kid

This ties in with the above, but between movies, video games, and technology in general, kids are inundated with all kinds of “adult” topics and amounts of violence that simply didn’t exist when I was a kid.

The world is conspiring to rob our kids of their innocence at a young age.  We need to put in the effort to slow that down, not speed it up.

Our kids will eventually grow up and trust me; it happens faster than most of us would like.

We don’t need to speed up that process by letting a 9-year-old watch Pulp Fiction just because we think it’s awesome (which it is!).

21. Teach them about finances

Your kids will appreciate you later in life if you teach them the value of money.

At an early age, you should not spoil your children by giving them anything they want. The world isn’t kind to people who feel entitled and curbing this at an early age is key.

Teach them how to save in order to buy something they want.

This is one thing that I taught my children. Now they know to work hard when they want something.  They learn to appreciate the value of hard work and they will spend less frivolously when they’re older.

Related: 7 Top Allowance Pros and Cons (click to read my article)

22. Understand the balance of smothering/helicoptering over them and keeping them safe

We have to let kids go and sometimes that means letting them fall.

As Alfred famously says to Bruce Wayne in the awesome Batman Begins, “Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

If you never let them fal l, they never learn how to get back up, and once you’re no longer there to help them, that leaves them in a dangerous place. Unfortunately, such a situation is commonly seen in families whose parents think  helicopter parenting  is the best way to raise their children.

Having said the above, the description of a good father has to have clear and age-appropriate boundaries to keep them safe and healthy (physically, mentally, and otherwise).

Learning to balance between these things, knowing that we sometimes will swing too far one direction or the other, is crucial in learning how to be a good father.

Learn about all the different parenting styles (click to read my article on the worst ones), the pros, and cons including the worst ones, in one of the top parenting posts on the Middle Class Dad site.

23. Limit their time on technology

Steve Jobs may not have been a perfect father, but despite the fact that he is responsible, more than any other 1 person in recent decades, for creating a lot of technology that drives our society, he strictly limited his kid’s time on technology.

See more on that story in a great piece by the New York Times. Technology limits our ability to connect with others on a human level.

It also Affects the Brain Negatively (click to read my article on how) in ways that can really impact grades, attitudes, and relationships.

It has a place in our world, to be sure, but it should not be something that goes unchecked

Have clear limits, clear times where it’s OK or not OK and stick to those, and have those limits for ourselves too!

Don’t let your kiddos pick up on these bad tech habits. https://t.co/dzDBgqDBqX #technology #habits #parenting pic.twitter.com/ipMUdW3GW6 — Gabb Wireless (@GabbWireless) October 1, 2020

Frequently Asked Questions

What defines a good father.

A good father is simply one who spends time with his kids and cultivates a good work-life balance. Providing financially for kids isn’t as important as actively being in their lives and helping mold and shape their personality, values, and character.

The old-school model of a great dad was that to be a great dad meant working a 9-5. The dad provided most, if not all of the financial support for the family.

The qualities of a good father in the 1950s were often limited to tucking the kids in at bedtime and playing ball with them on the weekends.

As much as that 50’s Dad scenario might sound appealing, that’s no longer the world most of us live in.

No; for many of us, it takes a 2 parent income to survive.

It takes 2 parents working in collaboration with each other on after-school activities, homework, morning routines and especially keeping up with the household chores.

It’s not just enough to put food on the table, kiss them goodnight and play with them an hour or 2 on the weekends. The qualities of a good father in this day and age go much further than in past decades.

Plus in the world we live in today, many dads work nights and weekends anyway.

I wrote a recent piece about the changing face of the Nuclear Family (click to read on my site), so take a moment and check that out.

1960 – The sitcom “My Three Sons” debuted on ABC-TV. pic.twitter.com/K3F58IR75Q — Today In TV History (@tvhistorytoday) September 29, 2020

How the qualities of a good father have changed

For previous generations, fathers were the breadwinner for the family, the disciplinarian, and often played the role of the strong, silent type. The qualities of a good father have morphed, however, into dads needing to be a lot more well-rounded, and more active day to day in their kid’s lives.

I still remember becoming a father for the 1st time.

How Life Changes When You Have A Baby @DadFuture @johnsonsbaby “My life and perspective on things has changed so much” #baby #parenthood pic.twitter.com/7GS7XpKsDz — BabyCentre UK (@babycentreuk) April 19, 2017

• I asked myself what are the qualities of a good father?
• Would I make a great father? I want to be the best father for my kids. But at the same time, I worry about measuring up.
• Would I be able to do it? What if I fail?

I discovered that the qualities of a good father aren’t complicated.

You simply have to prioritize your family’s needs ahead of your own, to try your best and the really be there for them. I gathered all the tips and advice on the qualities of a good father and picked out the very best ones.

What makes an effective father?

An effective father is one who instills values and character in their child, but also encourages and nurtures the child’s own personality to come out. Effective fathers know when to protect their kids and set boundaries, but also when to let them go and allow them to learn the lessons from the child’s mistakes.

All of us have doubts about how to be a good father (or husband for that matter); we do and that’s totally normal.

And unless you go out of your way to read up on fatherhood, becoming a dad doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

But of course, many of us dads don’t read manuals anyway, right?

The questions that came to my mind when I first became a Dad were:

• What is the description of a good father?
• How do we learn these skills?
• What do we do when we fall short of that goal?
• How do we pick up the pieces when we fail?

We lead busy lives so its crucial that we stay in communication.

We check egos at the door and ask for what we need in a clear, specific and loving way. And we work together in driving our household.  I won’t lie; sometimes we fall short of that!

In short, you can’t be the best parent you can be if your relationship is suffering.

While I have a number of posts on relationships, if your relationship isn’t all it could be, I highly recommend you take a moment and check out a post I have about Empathetic Listening Skills (click to read my article).

Most of us weren’t taught how to empathize with others or how to be a good listener . Those skills are crucial in life, but they especially important for the qualities of a good father.

Happy Daughters Day! Here’s to all the dads lucky enough to have daughters. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/P7VvOi7rhn — Brian Walsh (@NYCSoccer1) September 25, 2020

Why dads are important to daughters

Dads play a special role in the lives of their daughters and are hugely important for the daughter’s self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, and confidence. Daughters with active fathers are less likely to suffer depression, develop eating disorders, or experiment with drugs or alcohol.

Make no mistake, kids need two active, involved, and loving parents.

But life happens, and sometimes people get divorced. We also have gay and lesbian couples with kids, so while I do want to talk about why I think fathers are super important in raising daughters , I don’t want that to come across as derogatory towards other family models.

Ultimately if you and your spouse or ex put the needs of the kids first , take ownership of your behavior and strive to do the right thing, that makes you a great parent.

That being said, there’s just something special about the relationship between a father and daughter.

After all, I (to my daughters) am the first man they knew and loved and all their future relationships and friendships with men will be, in part, based on how they see and interact with me.

A recent study by the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect noted the following benefits of having a father consistently in a child’s life:

• Better cognitive, language, and social development
• Improved academic achievement
• Stronger sense of self-esteem
• Lower incidents of depression

But those are just the beginning of the Benefits of Father Involvement (click to read more on my site).

Rose McGowan is set to plead no contest to drug possession charge https://t.co/Uz6RKsTVxA pic.twitter.com/6BgQVdAfvq — Page Six (@PageSix) January 10, 2019

How absent fathers affect their daughters

Absent, neglectful, or abusive fathers often lead to daughters with eating disorders, depression, drug and alcohol addictions, and sexual experimentation and often they are unable to develop healthy relationships with men.

Ultimately if I am a terrible dad who isn’t involved, is lazy, treats their mother poorly, or is overly critical or abusive, I am literally setting them up for a series of failed relationships with horrible men.

It can also destroy their feelings of self-worth and self-esteem.

They will also, according to a study published by OrgScience, stand a much higher chance of developing a dependency on drugs or alcohol.

That study goes on to say that women with the “worst relationships with their fathers” “are at higher risk for a wide range of behavioral and physical health problems, including sleep disturbances, obesity, high blood pressure, asthma, alcoholism, smoking, heart disease, chronic pain disorders, somatic symptoms, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and autoimmune diseases”.

On the other hand, if I am present, involved, loving while setting clear boundaries and expectations, taking ownership of my mistakes and doing my best to treat them and others with love and kindness, I set them up for success.

With sons, but especially daughters, fathers are critically important and the ultimate role model.

As parents, one of the things we rely on the most is recommendations from other trusted sources. That’s the reason I created a page on my website for Top Parenting Resources (click to see my page).

I have compiled what I believe to be the absolute best parenting resources out there on a wide variety of needs. So no matter what your parenting challenge, I bet you’ll find a solution there.

How does childhood affect parenting?

How we parent as an adult is directly influenced by our own childhood. While adult parents who had bad, absent, or neglectful parents of their own sometimes go 180 degrees in the opposite direction with their own kids, most often, we tend to parent in similar ways to our own parents, for better or for worse.

Some of us weren’t taught the qualities of a good father by our dads. In my own life, my relationship with my Dad was complicated.

My folks split up when I was 6 months old and by the time I was 2 my Mom had remarried and we moved from Dallas to Philadelphia.

I grew up calling my step-father Dad, and my own Dad, who I only saw a handful of days a year until I was around 11, I called by his first name.

In all the most crucial ways, my birth father simply wasn’t there for me physically or emotionally.

It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I forced myself to start calling him Dad. My step-father had passed away decades earlier, and over time that became comfortable. Eventually, we grew closer.

We never really developed what I think of as a traditional father/son relationship.

But there was a lot of love and friendship . And I’ve missed him every day since he passed in 2014. I detailed my story with him in what has become my most popular blog post about Growing Up with a Gay Father (click to read my story).

My relationship with my step-father, the man I called Dad, was also complicated.

I loved him and he loved me. He also exhibited some of the qualities of a good father. But he had a problem with alcohol that led to a lot of drama & violence. Eventually (thankfully) my Mom left him as I approached my 11th birthday.

I’ve also written my story about Growing Up with an Alcoholic Father (click to read my story), so both those posts could be well worth reading if you have faced similar challenges in your life.

Final Thoughts

In this post, we took an in-depth look at the description of a good father and how to be the best dad possible.

Bear in mind the qualities of a good father are a subjective thing. There are, however, some basic principals for what a great dad is.  And also realize that just by taking the time to read a blog like this YOU ARE BEING A GOOD DAD !

You are taking the time to examine your own thoughts and behavior. You’re looking at how it applies to your kids. And you’re willing to make changes and recognize possibly destructive patterns of behavior.  You are open to change and improvement!

THAT MAKES YOU A GOOD DAD!

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Essays About Dads: Top 5 Examples Plus 10 Prompts

Write engaging essays about dads with help from our essay examples about dads, including a handful of topic prompts.

Dads are critical pillars in children’s development. Like moms, their presence, especially in children’s early years, is critical in laying the foundation of their well-being and self-esteem that will determine much of their kids’ adulthood. Some people have great relationships with their dads, while others have complicated or strained relationships, or don’t have contact with them at all.

Being a dad is different from merely being a father in that the former has nurtured a more loving relationship with their kids. Becoming a father is a huge milestone in a person’s life. The child can enjoy their dad’s great sense of humor, fun attitude in life, and loving personality. Whatever your relationship with your dad, you can write a compelling essay to convey your experiences and share your emotions.

5 Essay Examples

1. 10 lessons i learned from my abusive father by suzanna quintana, 2. why some fathers become distant after their child becomes a teen by larissa marulli, 3. gay dads and stigmas by laura ferguson, 4. this veterans day, i’m searching for my dad’s army buddies before it’s too late by judi ketteler, 5. i have never met my dad – making peace with the past by james barnett, 1. my dad is my best friend, 2. spending time with dad, 3. the best lesson i learned from my dad, 4. modern roles of dads, 5. absent dads: a social crisis, 6. single dads on the rise, 7. dads’ rights and obligations in child custody, 8. what makes a responsible dad, 9. my dad: the disciplinarian, 10. becoming a dad.

“Between his rages, verbal abuse, emotional absence, and his way of using guilt and shame as a weapon, the rest of us were kept under control through what I later dubbed Operation Fear, his cold war campaign designed to silence all dissidents and maintain his place as a dictator.” 

The author relates her struggles of breaking free from her father’s encumbering sense of being unloved. Although her struggle lasted into her late adult years, she eventually learned to accept and cherish lessons from her father that helped her become a better parent to her children. You might be interested in these essays about growing up without a father .

“Dad can have a really hard time getting used to his little girl now being a young woman who has romantic interests, and breasts and may no longer be into the things that she and dad used to do together.”

The love of dads has a lasting impact on a child’s disposition and outlook in adulthood. The problem is that some dads tend to be distant once their kids’ transition into teenagers. This essay helps dads preserve their closeness with their children during confusing times. 

“…[G]ay fathers still feel the brunt of stigma, experiences that the researchers linked to states with fewer legal and social protections for gays and their families.”

Years after the legal acceptance of gay marriages, gay dads still endure discrimination. A research study uncovers this and studies influences that continue to perpetuate the discriminating environment.

“It was only in 2019 that my sisters and I discovered all the photographs our dad had taken of his fellow GIs — reading, drinking beer at cafés and tending to their military truck. Some are portraits. Some seem candid. All feel special.”

In this essay, book author Ketteler talks about her nostalgic adventure to learn more about her veteran father’s life at the barracks. This journey starts after uncovering old photos of his wartime memorabilia wrapped with mystery and brotherly love. 

“If, for whatever variety of reasons, a dad isn’t present, physically or otherwise, then the child must look elsewhere for role models. I see being a role model as part of my life purpose. I need to be the role model that my dad wasn’t there to be for me. I must be what I didn’t have.”

A son who never had someone to call dad pens a letter to his deceased stranger-father. In this letter-essay, he puts out all the difficulties in meeting him only through pictures and never knowing how his life was. Yet, despite the letter appearing as an outpour of outrage, a surprising twist comes up when the essay shifts into a forgiving tone.

10 Compelling Prompts On Essays About Dads

Describe the best side of your father and share with your readers how he fits as your best friend. Talk about the things you like doing together and how he listens to you in times of need. Perhaps you enjoy watching movies together or going on annual trips away together. What are the other things that make you appreciate your father? Answer this question in the main section of your essay. End your essay with a conclusion explaining how a parent and a child can have true bonds of friendship.

Do you and your dad enjoy golf, camping, or hiking? Or do you prefer doing something indoors, like cooking or playing board games? First, write about the activities you and your father enjoy doing together. Then, for a more impactful essay, write about what a day of spending time with your dad looks like and your fondest memory with him.

Like our essay example, we hope you also have important lessons to carry on from your dad, whether by having a loving or complicated relationship with him. Write down the most important lesson your dad has imparted to you. You may have learned essential life skills like cooking or cleaning, self-confidence, or how to be independent. Detail how the lessons you have learned have shaped your perspective in life and what you are striving to do to embody his teachings into your life.

Diverging from the traditional perception of fathers as mainly financial providers, the modern definition of a dad comes in different shapes and sizes. First, enumerate the typical dads existing today — single dads, gay dads, blended households, step dads, and more. Then, find out how they are raising their children and how different are their parenting styles from those of traditional dads. Include interview research in your essay for an interesting and accurate essay.

​​According to the National Fatherhood Initiative , one in four children is without a biological, step, or adoptive father. In this essay, enumerate the adverse effects of fatherlessness on a child’s development. How do these effects influence one’s adulthood? Find research studies to support your answer to this.  

Research from the Pew Research Center has shown that single dads have increased ninefold since the 1960s. Research this trend further and discover what factors drive single men to take on the enormous responsibility of fatherhood on their own. If you know dads who are single fathers by choice, their stories would add more life to your story. Also, tackle the options men have to be single dads, such as surrogacy or adoption, and assistance your state or country offers aspiring single dads. 

According to the World Population Review , about 50% of married couples divorce. When marriages fail, what rights do fathers hold to continue being a father to their children? Find out what these are, along with a father’s obligations and penalties for not fulfilling them. Turn this into an argumentative essay and answer whether these rights and obligations are enough and how they can be expanded to sustain raising a child. 

As modern times drastically change the roles of parents, dads have become more involved in child-rearing. This has allowed dads to nurture more profound relationships with their kids, breaking the image of a distant father who only gets to see his child after work. First, write about the qualities and actions that make a father a responsible dad. Then, add the importance of having responsible dads at home and what society can do to promote responsible fatherhood. 

The image of dads as a disciplinarian has often been perceived negatively. But beyond the punishments, discipline means enabling children to grow up well. In this essay, talk about your dad’s disciplinary techniques. Write about how he corrects bad behavior. Then, cite anecdotes to make your essay more lively. For example, share how your dad responded to a grave mistake you committed. Finally, write down how he punished you and what you learned from this experience.

Interview your father and try to capture his roller coaster of emotions and experiences as a first-time dad. Ask him what he felt like when he first held you in your arms, when you got your first fever and when he first brought you to school. Next, ask him how he is coping with the extraordinary demands of fatherhood financially, physically, and emotionally. Finally, ask him to give soon-to-be fathers a few words of wisdom. Share these experiences in your essay and describe your take on these emotions.

For more writing guidance, our explainer on grammar and syntax can help you write better essays. 

If you need help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family . 

To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then   View saved stories .

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I Want to Be a Good Dad. That Means Showing Up for Myself, Too

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The first time I went on a solo outing with our new baby, I came home with an oat milk latte for my partner and a  panic attack for myself. I’ve lived in New York City for nearly 10 years, and I’d made that same walk to the coffee shop countless times. But now, as I walked there with our one-week-old daughter strapped to my chest, other people felt too close. The sidewalk seemed harder; the cars, much bigger and faster. The dire realization that the only thing standing between her and danger is us—her parents—came swiftly. 

I kept it together enough to get her home, back to safety, then completely broke down in my partner’s arms. The tears weren’t just about my anxieties on the errand—after all, we were fine. It’s just that…I’m a first-time father attempting to traverse the mental health challenges that come along with this new part of my identity. And given that I’m also actually  parenting a baby with my partner, that’s a lot to handle.

I have dealt with  anxiety even before I knew there was a term for it. And with depression , too. When, a few months before our child was born, my therapist warned me that fathers, too, are susceptible to  postpartum depression , I took the message seriously. I’d never considered the idea or heard anyone talk about going through it themselves, but my therapist’s explanation of that concept—and other challenges that might arise now my daughter is here—made perfect sense. 

I had been thinking about how my life was going to change after I became a dad mainly in terms of the responsibilities I would have to take on (changing diapers, planning child care, etc.) and the time they’d require. My  therapist , naturally, wanted me to also be prepared for new emotional terrain. For one thing: Babies are notoriously unpredictable. They eat and sleep when they want and demand long periods of walking and rocking that can be hell on a parent’s body—and they largely express these desires through wails that make you think they’ve broken a limb. For someone like me, who finds stability in at least a loose structure to my days, not knowing what will happen from moment to moment is rough on my mental health. Plus there’s this whole other layer of wanting to protect and care for this helpless person I love with all of myself.  Someone has to be her bodyguard on those high-stakes walks to the coffee shop—it’s a lot of responsibility. 

So, yeah, I’ve been biting my nails a lot more. (I chalk this behavior up to an anxious mind seeking comfort—not unlike my baby sucking hard on her pacifier.) But I’m fortunate to have entered into parenthood with an understanding and supportive partner, and we’ve done a lot to help preserve each other’s mental health; we’ve divided up sleep/baby-watch schedules, provided each other afternoons for solo time to recharge, and communicated constantly about what our needs are. There’s no way to guarantee we avoid slipping into depression, but knowing we’re in it together helps as much as anything could. 

Men aren’t traditionally socialized to seek mental health care, but it’s really important for new fathers.

As boys, many men are taught, often by their own parents, to be “strong” and keep their feelings bottled up. As an  article published by the National Alliance on Mental Illness lays out, the stakes of conforming to these societal ideals are apparent when it comes to dads’ emotional well-being: “Families with fathers who struggle with mental health issues, particularly during early childhood, tend to have children with more  difficulties managing their emotions and behaviors.” My partner and I don’t want our own baggage to interfere with our daughter’s development, so we’ve decided that talking it out and taking care of ourselves is the only way through. 

My concern isn’t so much about how I’ll handle parenthood  right now, but how I’ll feel and act later (my anxiety is, for the most part, fueled by the consistent churn of worries about the future). I’m worried about the kind of father I’ll be if I convince myself that being a good dad means feigning emotional invincibility, or being a hard-ass, or assuming any number of other damaging, stereotypical poses men put on around their children. I have to step up and care for myself in order to show my daughter all the love and warmth I feel for our family, because I know how hard it feels to have a dad whose emotions aren’t readily accessible.

I haven’t spoken to my father in several years. Our relationship was never great, and I made the simple decision that trying was no longer worth the effort. I would never say my dad was a bad father, but there was a large gap between the father he was and the father I wanted him to be. To his credit: He provided. Our family was never without a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, or clothes on our backs. We had, for most of my life, the true-blue American middle-class life: two cars in the garage, front and back yards to play in, TVs and Playstations, and family vacations. I may not always have gotten the latest Jordans the moment they came out, but in a material sense, I had nothing to complain about. My father worked to make that all possible (and benefited from an economy in which that was all possible). The gap existed on an emotional level: I think my father saw his role as a traditionally masculine one, based in discipline and breadwinning. I don’t view him as the kind of nurturer I hope to be as a dad.

Many fathers struggle with understanding how to relate to their children and how to express their care. 

A  Pew Research Center survey from 2015 shows that 57% of fathers believe that being a parent is “extremely important” to their identity, while another 37% say it’s “very important” to them. In that same survey, however, 49% of fathers claim to be the kind of parent that “criticizes too much,” versus 29% who say they offer too much praise. Though some experts have begun looking into the potential pitfalls of praising kids too much, there’s an obvious danger to overly criticizing them: When a child struggles with a sense of never being good enough, it can contribute to long-term struggles with depression or other mental health problems (speaking from experience here—but there’s  research to back this up, too).

To me, it seems like many men want to be present dads and turn away from blueprints laid down by past generations but find themselves fumbling when it comes to creating something new. Absent some clear instruction, some of us might fall back on the old scripts because it’s easier, even though we can recognize the harm it does to ourselves and our loved ones. It’s tempting to fall into a “woe is me, masculinity is so hard” spiral here, but the takeaway is: When a father doesn’t step up to the challenges of parenting, it can actually worsen their mental health and lead to emotional pain for their children and partners. 

I’m working hard to create a strong bond with my daughter early on while maintaining my own well-being. But I’m terrified of having the pieces of my past that I talk about in therapy the most sneak into my parenting in the future. As I go, I want to create space for my daughter to make mistakes and discuss difficult emotions. Whenever I talk through this with friends, they say it’s good that I’m thinking about it to begin with. This awareness, my friends tell me, is the thing that will allow me to recognize when I’m slipping into old patterns rooted in masculine stereotypes and choose to be a different kind of dad. 

I see what they’re saying, but in the hopes of having my self-interrogation feel pragmatic instead of frantic, I’m learning more about how to handle what comes next with more grace and  self-compassion . At the suggestion of my therapist, I started reading  The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) , by Philippa Perry, a British psychotherapist. It offers advice on handling your children’s emotions, as well as learning to be a supportive partner. My biggest takeaway from the book so far is that mistakes are inevitable: You  will do the thing you’re afraid of doing. But what will separate you from your parents is the ability to examine your behavior, explain it to your child, apologize, and change.

If I want to show my daughter that she doesn’t have to be perfect to be loved, I need to live by example.

This starts with not being too hard on myself, with letting go of the fear of making a mistake that haunts my every decision and instead do the work of being the parent I want to be. I’m trying to remember that every misstep is only a misstep, not the harbinger of the death of my relationship with my child forever.

When I  do fall short, will I be able to maintain perspective and keep myself from falling into depression? There are some ways in which that is in my control and others in which it isn’t. I can keep talking to my partner, my therapist, and my friends who are struggling to do fatherhood differently, the same way I am. (I can also remind myself that plenty of great parents struggle with their mental health and that I have the tools to seek out support if I need it.)

I can see the flaws in the fatherhood script that was handed down to me and I can rewrite the parts that didn’t work. I know that is easier said than done, but I can commit to the practice—even in the smallest moments with my daughter. 

Sometimes, during a particularly tough bedtime when it seems she can’t get comfortable enough to fall asleep, I go into our room to put a pacifier in her mouth. Just as I’ve got it placed for optimal self-soothing, she reaches up and grabs my hand. And even if it’s only an involuntary infant reaction, she holds on tight and keeps holding while I look down at her perfectly fat cheeks, hear her breathing calm, and for a moment think that I’m doing something right—that she already knows I’m there for her.

• 3 Things to Do If You’re a Guy Who Has No Idea How to Start Therapy
• Here’s What I’ve Learned About Raising Boys in My 30 Years as a Child Psychologist
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SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

The One Thing Every Good Father Does

W hen I was 7 years old, my father resigned from his job as a college professor. It was a critical moment in his career and created real financial risk for his young family. But he felt that he was being asked to violate his principles–and nothing was more important to him than a strong moral code.

That bold decision was a model of my father’s approach to raising his kids. Walk your talk. Live your values. Provide for and protect your family. He told me to be kind to women, sure, but I watched him love and honor my mother. He exhorted me to work hard, but the lesson stuck because I saw him grind night after night as he went back to school to get another degree and took on side jobs to help pay the bills.

I think back on his example often as I try to be the best father I can to my own children. Raising kids has never been an easy job for anyone, of course. But the challenge of helping boys find their way to a purposeful adult life is particularly fraught these days. With good reason, many of the most harmful attributes associated with traditional masculinity are being re-examined. But as we reckon with the damage of these freighted expectations, we can’t lose sight of the essential role fathers play in shaping sons into men of character.

Many of the stereotypical traits that our culture associates with boyhood–things like achievement, adventure and risk–are not inherently harmful cultural constructs that should be engineered out. They are, rather, innate characteristics that must be shaped, molded and channeled to virtuous ends.

It’s here that a father has an outsize influence–and that influence can radiate beyond the immediate family. Without a father at home, boys are at a disproportionate risk of not attending college, according to a 2015 study in the journal Family Relations. And in America’s deeply unequal society, the presence of a father can make a profound difference. In 2018, the New York Times reported on troubling research showing that even when black and white boys “grow up next to each other with parents who earn similar incomes, black boys fare worse than white boys in 99% of America.” Among the common elements in the 1% with similar outcomes: lower levels of race discrimination and poverty and higher numbers of dads. Indeed, the report found that the mere presence of fathers in a community could positively impact fatherless boys.

What accounts for this value? It gets back to the elevation of actions above words. It’s the model boys follow–not the speech. Infantry soldiers will read field manuals, but they want to hear from combat veterans. Football players will study the playbook, but they’ll run through a wall for a coach who proved it on the field. It’s about being a living example, not just a mouthpiece.

As a father, I constantly ask myself the question, “What can I do to show my son the way?” That’s one reason I joined the military later in life and deployed to Iraq. I did not want to pressure any of my children to follow my literal lead and enlist, but rather to demonstrate to them as best as I could what it looked like to be more committed to your country and to your family than to yourself.

Our actions as fathers represent the markers that men lay down, the decisions they point to that say, “I don’t always have wisdom. I may be at a loss for words. But let me show you what it’s like to be a man.”

It’s hard to imagine life without my father’s influence. That there are children by the millions who can’t comprehend life with a good father is not just painful to contemplate, it also represents an individual and cultural cataclysm.

The message to men should be clear and unmistakable: fatherhood is a nondelegable duty, and your son needs you every bit as much as you needed your own dad. As a boy blazes his trail through life, his father should be leading the way.

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How To Be A Good Dad

Through closeness, engagement, and connection with kids, dads create a positive space for their kids. They also benefit themselves.

It’s tempting to think of father-child relationships in physical and temporal terms. Is dad affectionate? Does dad spend the time? These things matter — specifically to younger children — but two questions cannot encapsulate the quality or importance of a father-child relationship. New research presents a significantly more complicated vision of involved fatherhood and its benefits across the lifespans of men and their children.

The model that best explains how involved fathers can benefit from positive and consistent engagement with their children is known as the “ABC of Fatherhood.” This research-supported three-point plan for long-term relationships and personal success suggests that father’s emotional investments in their children always pay off.

This story originally appeared in a different format on the Child & Family Blog , transforming research on cognitive, social, and emotional development and family dynamics into policy and practice.

The “A” in the “ABC of Fatherhood” is for the “affective” climate. This is the sense of love and constancy of a father being there. So a child feels: “My dad has my back. He really cares for me. I could call him at any moment and he would come. I can be halfway around the world and he is thinking of me.”

This affective climate is the most crucial foundation of a father-child relationship. Being secure in a father’s love is the basis for a positive identity and the courage to explore and learn new things. And developing these facets of the father-child relationship is not only good for the kids — it’s also a vital part of adult male human development.

Studies have demonstrated that involved fatherhood improves a man’s cognitive skills, health, and capacity for empathy. It builds his confidence and self-esteem while enhancing emotional regulation and expression. Involved fathers often say that they have learned to control their anger better or not express negative emotions, such as fear, so readily. They have often also recognized the need to express tender emotions which men, stereotypically, are said to find challenging. Again, their emotional development as fathers carries over into other contexts. It’s good for their marriages and their friendships.

“B” represents a father’s behavior. Dad goes to his children’s games, helps with homework, gets out with them and kicks a soccer ball. It’s the observable mark of an involved father-child relationship. When a father is positively engaged in these ways, his children tend to have better school attainment, smoother peer relationships, delayed sexual initiation and fewer issues with the law and authorities.

The benefits to this kind of engagement aren’t just long term for men. Fatherhood gives men permission to play, possibly for the first time in decades. If a man without children enjoys building blocks or coloring books, he may be considered immature, but doing these things with children makes him a sensitive caregiver. A close father-child relationship gives fathers opportunities to re-experience childhood, reintegrate memories, and make sense of relationships with their own parents. When they get down on the ground with kids, it’s not only great parenting — they are also engaging in deep psychological development for themselves.

Finally, “C” stands for connection. This is about a father’s synchrony with — and sensitivity to — his children, allowing dad to make use of teachable moments. A father who has mastered connection is good at reading his child’s mood. If he thinks his child needs more from him, he’ll give more. If he thinks that he’s overwhelming the child, he’ll back off. It’s what Edward Tronick, the American developmental psychologist, described as the “dance of parenting,” where we learn about turn-taking and being tuned in to others.

Tuning in changes men. A close father-child relationship means that a father will typically be more empathetic to the outlook of children, a skill that he can then apply elsewhere, such as at work, better understanding the diverse perspectives of colleagues.

A close father-child relationship develops the dad’s capacities for evaluating, planning and decision-making — all part of executive function. Dads do this every day. It comes into play, for example, if they are home for only a couple of hours before the children go to bed but plan to use that time well, on an outing or helping with homework or going to a soccer game. That use of executive function to juggle resources effectively carries over into other parts of a man’s life.

An involved father will create or deploy interpersonal relationships and contextual resources to support his parenting. It’s not unusual for a father who was previously uninvolved in his community to suddenly join a neighborhood association or take an interest in scouting. He wants his kids to be safe and now pursues his goals via pro-social behaviors. Interestingly, these pro-social behavior sometimes extend to himself. Involved fathers stop smoking. They diet. They go to the doctor. Sometimes they engage in these behaviors despite very poor track records regarding their own health. Again, they want their children to be safe and they are guaranteeing that safety by looking after themselves.

None of this happens overnight. A man doesn’t magically develop these skills or get awarded a seat on the condo board on account of paternity. He achieves developmental gains gradually by successfully building the father-child relationship through a series of transitions as his child develops, his family faces crises, and his own economic or emotional situation changes.

Involved dads double down during transitions. The more a dad connects his fathering to life changes, the “more of a dad” he becomes. There are always events and situations that make it difficult for fathers to remain positively involved with their children; the critical benefit of involved fatherhood is that it puts dads in a position to handle happenstance while remaining focused on fatherhood. This is not only good for men, who have the self-assurance derived from a strong identity and family structure, but for their children, who know that dad has their back.

Father-child relationships are not, in short, just about the kids. Fatherhood has a central role to play in male adult development. This is why physical affection and time spent with children cannot adequately describe the success of a father-child relationship over time. These relationships are successful when they lead to change — when increasingly informed, enthusiastic and skilled fathers learn to parent secure and increasingly independent young people.

• The quality of a father-child relationship can be broken down by the “ABC of Fatherhood”: Affective climate, Behavior, and Connection.
• Involved fathers change in ways that are beneficial for kids, their communities, and themselves.
• Building a father-child relationship happens gradually, through a series of transitions as the child develops.

University of Delaware Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences Rob Palkovitz studies father-child relationships across cultural contexts, developmental stages, and life transitions.

This article was originally published on Feb. 18, 2020

The Importance of Being A Good Father

As a father, here are things to consider and do to help raise an emotionally and psychologically healthy child.

According to recent research, we know that children whose fathers are highly involved with them in a positive way do better in school, demonstrate better  psychological well-being and lower levels of delinquency, and ultimately attain higher levels of education and economic self-sufficiency. Given the importance of fathers spending time with their kids, why is it that while teenagers watch an average of 21 hours of television per week, they spend only 35 minutes per week talking with their fathers?

Unfortunately, many dads either don't or are afraid to spend one-on-one time with their children. Besides missing out on the fun, these dads miss out on bonding time and a chance to establish emotional intimacy with their children.

What Does Being A Good Father Really Mean?

You need to be able to put your child before yourself, be a positive role model, and protect your child from harm, but at the same time allow them to make their own mistakes, and learn from them. The key word here is 'nurture'. Children learn through a variety of ways, however, observing the behavior of others is probably the most influential.

As a role model, children learn from their fathers and mothers, and their actions. They emulate the desired behavior and then discard the undesirable. Therefore knowing yourself, and how others perceive you, is essential when your children are learning from you both directly and indirectly. Your children need to be taught right from wrong and see it demonstrated on a daily basis by their father.

When considering the responsibilities of fathers, it's important to remember that no one is perfect. We are all human and, at times, we do make mistakes. But the important thing to teach is: we can learn by our mistakes and try to avoid making the same mistakes over-and-over again.

Other Characteristics of A Good Father

The environment you grew up in definitely influences how you perceive your role as a father. Some parents try and "fix" problems from their own childhood or present-day lives. What can happen is they place unreasonable expectations on their child.

A child's life can be filled with pressures, from kids at school, teachers or coaches, and just day-to-day life. Help your child understand their desires and assess their capabilities and set achievable goals. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.

Some common perceptions of a father's role are:

• The father provides, financially and emotionally, for his children, and should care for them too.
• The father's role is to discipline along with the mother. Make parenting a partnership, be on the same page about how to discipline your child and be consistent.
• A father should give his children affection and warmth - Don't be afraid to tell your child "I love you, I'm proud of you."
• A father shows support and love through actions as well as words.

Consider your roles and responsibilities as a father. Ask yourself which are most meaningful and pursue them to the best of your ability.

Being a good father is one of the most important and challenging things you can do! Spend time listening and talking with your kids each day.

article references

APA Reference Staff, H. (2022, January 11). The Importance of Being A Good Father, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 26 from https://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/dads/importance-of-being-a-good-father

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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How to be a good father: tips & advice for dads.

What does it mean to be a dad? The art of fatherhood is evolving as society and the traditional family changes. With these positive parenting tips, dads can help their children build confidence and self-esteem, and in turn, learn how to be an engaged, supportive, and loving father to their children.

Today's families are increasingly more diverse , including single parent families, blended families, same gender parents, unmarried parents, and multi-generational families. Over the past three decades, societal changes including the rise in numbers of women working outside the home, escalating divorce rates, remarriages, and blended families are causing shifts in both maternal and paternal roles.

Ask a dad today and he will probably tell you that his father-daughter or father-son relationships differ widely from those he experienced with his own father. Changes in parenting styles have given men more options for responding to obligations as fathers, husbands or partners. Today's dad is less likely to automatically rely on his own childhood experiences for fatherhood guidance. With the constantly changing roles of dads , what worked well for his father 30 years ago, may not work at all with the complex and varied challenges modern fathers face.

Current research reveals that warm accepting fathers tend to have children with higher self-esteem. An affectionate and nurturing father-child relationship furthers the development of children's achievements, peer popularity and personal adjustment. Loving fathers, who provide reasonable, firm guidance, without arbitrarily imposing their will, help to promote competence in children.

Parenting Tips for Dads: Being an Engaged, Supportive & Loving Father

• Spend time with your child . How a father spends his time reveals to his child what is important to him. Kids grow up quickly and the time to bond is now. There are plenty of fun ways to spend family time with children .
• Discipline with love and positive parenting . All children need positive guidance and discipline , not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Dads should remind children of the consequences of their actions and positively acknowledge desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.
• Be your child's role model . Whether they realize it or not, fathers are role models to their kids. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys and she learns what to look for in a partner. Fathers teach boys and girls what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility and responsibility.
• Earn the right to be heard . Fathers should begin conversations with their children about important topics when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time for listening to your child's ideas and problems.
• Be your child's teacher . To be a good father, teach your children about right and wrong and encourage them to do their best. See that your children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help children learn the basic lessons of life.
• Eat together as a family . An important part of healthy family life is bonding through family meals . It gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and be involved. It provides a structure for families to be together each day.
• Read to your child . In a modern world dominated by television and internet, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children in order to grow lifelong readers. Begin reading when they are very young and as they get older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling a love of reading is one of the best ways to ensure children will have a lifetime of literacy and personal and career growth.
• Respect the other parent of your child . Parents who respect each other and demonstrate mutual respect to their children, provide a secure environment for them. When children see parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected within the father-child relationship.
• Seek involvement early . Show interest early by understanding a father's role during pregnancy or the adoption or surrogacy process and gently touch, play, hold and talk to your infant child. When fathers are involved, they send the clear and emphatic message: "I want to be your father. I am interested in you and we have a relationship that is important to me."

Few events change a man's life as much as becoming a father. Being entrusted with the responsibility and care of another person is a monumental task but none is more rewarding than becoming a father and seeing your child grow gradually into adulthood, with your affection returned in good measure and your child's self-worth confirmed. Hopefully, these parenting tips can provide some guidance to dads trying to learn how to become engaged, supportive, and loving fathers.

The Work-Life Equation Podcast: Talking Fatherhood with Millennial Dads

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: millennial dads. What does fatherhood look like in 2018? Our very candid panel of modern working dads told us about stepping up as parents, dance classes on football Sunday, sharing the load with mom, redefining self-care, and “embracing the poop” in a job that’s harder – and more fun – than they ever imagined.

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Doing Dad Stuff

13 powerful ways to be a good father.

Being a good father involves more than just providing for your family financially. It requires active engagement, patience, and a willingness to put the needs of your children before your own. 

Spend quality time with your children

Make an effort to carve out time in your schedule to spend with your children, whether it’s playing a game, going for a walk, or just having a conversation. This helps to foster strong relationships and build trust between you and your children.

Be present  

Set a good example.

Children often model their behavior after their parents, so it’s important to set a good example for them to follow. This means being honest, responsible, and respectful in your interactions with others. Actions speak louder than words. Keep this in mind when setting a good example for your kids.

Show love and affection

It’s important to show your children that you love and care for them. This can be through physical affection such as hugs and kisses, but also through words of affirmation and acts of kindness. Hugging your children is a tremendous way to show your love to your children. 

Parenting can be challenging at times, and it’s important to have patience with your children as they learn and grow. This means taking the time to explain things and not getting frustrated when things don’t go as planned. If you have a short temper now, work towards strengthening your patience. It will make a big difference in your child’s life.

Show your children appreciation and gratitude

Support your children’s interests and hobbies.

Encourage your children to pursue their passions and interests, and provide support and resources to help them succeed. This can include helping them find resources or joining them in their activities. You may not agree with every interest or hobby that your child has but it’s important to remain supportive.

Communicate openly and honestly

It’s important to have open and honest communication with your children. This means listening to their concerns and ideas and being willing to discuss difficult topics such as sex, drugs, and other sensitive subjects. You want to be a trusted source for your child. And you want them to feel like they can tell you anything. 

Help with household tasks  

Foster independence.

While it’s important to provide guidance and support for your children, it’s also important to encourage them to be independent and make their own decisions. This means giving them the space and freedom to explore and learn on their own. Allowing them to navigate through situations on their own cab helps build independence. As long as they know that you are available at any time for help and support.

Encourage education

Education is an important foundation for success in life, and it’s important to encourage your children to do their best in school. This can mean helping with homework, providing resources for learning, and setting high expectations for their academic achievements. 

Discipline your children with love and kindness

Be there for your children emotionally.

It’s important to be emotionally available for your children, and to be there for them when they need support or just someone to talk to. This helps to create a strong emotional bond and helps your children feel loved and supported.

Being a good father requires active engagement, patience, and a willingness to put the needs of your children first. By spending quality time with your children, setting a good example, showing love and affection, and supporting their interests and education, you can help to foster strong, healthy relationships and set them up for success in life.

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English Compositions

Short Essay on My Father [100, 200, 400 Words] With PDF

Essays on ‘Father’ is a very common English writing comprehension test for many exams. In this lesson today, I will discuss how to write short essays on one of the most important people of our life: Father. 

Short Essay on Father in 100 Words

My father is a kind and caring person. He is my hero. He works hard and takes care of our family. He always motivates me to study well, work hard and chase my dreams. Whenever I am sick, he stays beside me and takes care of me alongside my mother.

My father is a loving husband to my mother and a filial son to his parents. He helps my mother with the household chores and spends a lot of time with my grandparents. He has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats me and my sibling equally. On weekends, he takes us out for picnics, movies, and other fun activities. My father is a role model for me. 

Short Essay on Father in 200 Words

My father is an ideal man. He is kind and caring. He works hard and takes care of our family. He is a strong-willed person who doesn’t fear challenges and never gives up. He motivates me to study well and work hard towards my dreams. My father is my best friend. I share all my worries and problems with him and he always comes up with the best solutions. When I am sad, he comforts me and gives me strength. When I am sick, he stays beside me and takes care of me alongside my mother. 

My father is a loving husband and a filial son. He helps my mother with the household work and shares her load. He values her a lot and never fights with her. He also spends a lot of time with my grandparents and takes them to visit their old friends whenever he has time. He also takes us out for family picnics and outings on weekends.

My father has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats both me and my sibling equally. He has set an example for us by being an upright, compassionate and genuine human being. He has taught us to be honest, respectful, and kind. My father is my role model and I love him very much. 

Short Essay on Father in 400 Words

My father is the backbone of our family. He is a kind, caring and compassionate person. He is a teacher by profession and is well-respected by his students and colleagues. He works hard and takes care of our family. My father is strong-willed and optimistic. He is not afraid of facing challenges and doesn’t give up no matter how difficult a situation is.

He motivates me to study well and work hard towards my dreams. My father is also my best friend. He listens to whatever I have to say. I can share all my worries and problems with him and he always comes up with the best solutions. When I am not in a good mood, he comforts me. When I am sick, he takes care of me. Even when he returns home tired, he makes sure to sit with us and have a nice talk. 

My father is a generous person. Being a teacher, he has come across many students who want to learn but do not have the financial capacity to support their studies. For them, he has given lessons for free and even helped them financially.

He is very kind to the poor and needy. He helps them and does as much as possible to support them. My father is a helpful person and is always ready to extend a helping hand whenever our neighbours are in some kind of trouble. I am very proud of him. 

My father is an ideal husband and son. He helps my mother with the household chores and shares the load. He values her, listens to her thoughts, ideas and opinions and never fights with her. They always make sure that our home environment is peaceful and harmonious.

My father is also a filial son who spends a lot of time taking care of his parents. He takes my grandparents out to the park and to visit their old friends whenever he has time. On weekends, he takes us out for picnics, movies and other fun activities. When my sibling or I have exams, my father stays up at night to guide us and help us with our studies. 

My father has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats both me and my sibling equally. He has taught us to be upright, honest, respectful and kind. He leads by example and has shown us how to be selfless, brave and patient. My father is my role model and I love him dearly. 

Hopefully, from the session above, you have gotten a holistic idea of how you can write short essays on ‘Father’ in a concise form. In this lesson, I have adopted a simplistic approach and easy language to write these essays so that all kinds of students can understand those without any difficulties. If you still have any doubts regarding this session, kindly let me know through some quick comments. 

Join us on Telegram to get the latest updates on our upcoming session. Thank you.

15 Essential Qualities of a Good Father

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In this article we’re going to discuss the qualities of a good father all dads should strive to have.

* disclosure : some of these links might be affiliate links.

Introduction to the Attributes of a Good Father

There are many things needed for the success of the family.

Along with that for the successful development of kids.

Good fathers and good mothers are an essential piece in the equation.

Society at times tends to devalue the importance of fatherhood and how critical a father is in the home.

We know it’s not the case and research on fatherhood says otherwise.

I do know as a first-time dad it can be overwhelming.

You might not know which quality is essential to develop.

To make matters worse many times, the information you receive can be conflicting.

(the media doesn’t help, but more on that below)

We’ve come up with our own list of the best qualities of a father.

We hope you’ll find this list beneficial on your fatherhood journey.

What it Means to Be a Father

We’ve covered what being a father means . If you missed it, you should go check it out! Here are some highlights from that article.

For starters being a father can be very challenging.

The definition and even the expectations of fatherhood have changed considerably over the past 10 years.

Unfortunately, a lot of those changes and expectations have not been for the better.

The primary force pushing and defining fatherhood is the media.

According to media portrayals of dads we are:

• Not important to the family
• Dumb (Doofus is the term I used)
• Emotionally Unstable (not to mention emotionally uninvolved)

I want to encourage you to ignore these poor media portrayals.

• You’re important to the family
• You’re a role model
• You’re a gift giver
• You’re unconditional in your love
• You’re a disciplinarian
• You’re a provider
• Last and most certainly not the least you love your kid’s mother well.

What if I Don’t Have Those Qualities of a Good Father?

Many dads out there are going to look at this list and probably start feeling like they’re being judged or worse they’re not good enough.

I don’t want you to look at these as the measure of a good father.

What I mean by that is don’t look at this as, if you don’t have ALL these traits, you’re not a good dad.

First of all, there’s absolutely no judgment here.

Secondly, do not beat yourself over the head for not having ALL these qualities.

It would be pretty much impossible for one dad to excel at all these traits.

Also, many of the traits we’re going to mention will come easier to some fathers than others.

Your Goals by Looking at these Qualities of a Father

Instead, what you should do is look at these qualities or traits of a dad as something to work towards as you go through your fatherhood journey.

You’ll never be perfect in all of this.

Which is fine.

Perfection is not the point.

It’s all about trying to be better.

You see just because you’re not going to be perfect at it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for excellence.

What Are the Qualities of a Good Father?

1. a good dad loves and protects his kid’s mom.

This is first and foremost on the list because it’s the most important.

If you’re divorced or a single dad this is going to look a little different for you.

So many times, we want to put our kids first and foremost, and it’s not the best approach.

Your focus should be on your wife (their mom) and nurturing that relationship.

Let me clarify something.

I am not saying don’t take care of your kids.

I am not saying don’t love kids.

What I am saying is the best way to love your kids and take care of your kids is by making sure your marriage is nurtured and taken care of.

When your marriage is good and nurtured your kids, and your family is more likely to be taken care of as a result.

No matter how well you love your kids, it doesn’t matter if you’re not taking care of your marriage.

With divorce being as high as it is (some estimates say anywhere between a quarter to a third of all marriages ( source ).

We all know by now the havoc a divorce can have on a family and especially kids ( source ).

2. A Good Dad Provides for His Family

If you asked most guys what they felt their primary role as a father was, more likely than not they’re going to say it’s to provide.

This is the stereotypical role of a father.

While I should add being a provider is NOT the only role of a dad (as you’ll see by this article).

It’s an important role nonetheless and part of what we still use to define dads.

A good dad needs to help contribute to the household and make sure their family has the necessities.

(food, water, and shelter)

A good dad should be able to hold down a job.

By holding down a job, you’re demonstrating to your kids the value of a good work ethic.

For the dads that are stay-at-home fathers, you’re not off the hook for providing for your family.

The way you provide just looks a little different.

When a stay-at-home dad is providing it could be by making sure the kids are taken care of.

Or making sure the household is in order.

3. A Good Dad is a Disciplinarian

You never have to teach kids how to lie and be bad.

They just know how to do all of that. But you have to teach them how to be good.

That’s where discipline comes into play. Good dads know that they should discipline their kids.

They also know it’s important their discipline is coming from a place of love ( source ).

• You need to be consistent in your discipline.
• Firm in your teaching.
• Most importantly loving in your actions.

4. A Good Dad is Not Focused on Raising Good Kids but Good Adults

Your kid is going to spend more time as an adult than as a kid.

As a dad, your focus shouldn’t be on raising good kids but on raising good adults who are productive members of society.

This comes in many different forms.

One of the ways is by letting kids be kids.

Which are often not mentioned enough.

Let them enjoy the innocence of their youth, before having the weight of the world on top of them.

This is the challenge with parenting and raising kids.

You know the end game is to have a well-adjusted adult.

At the same time, you have to find a balance between letting them be a kid.

But also knowing when they do have to start bearing the weight of the world, you’ve trained them up well enough to handle it.

The other way is by disciplining and instilling morals and strong work ethics in your kids.

5. A Father Leads by Example

As a father, you’re called to be a leader in the home.

Nothing will diminish your leadership quicker than not leading by example.

Your child is watching you ( source ).

Even when it doesn’t seem like they are.

Let me tell you…they are!

Are you talking about the importance of being polite and respectful but disrespecting your waiter at a restaurant.

…or yelling at bad drivers in the car?

Are you trying to teach them the value of being honest, but they’ve seen you lie?

Your kids are a lot better at detecting B.S. and inconsistencies than many parents would like to believe.

Even when they cannot conceptually see it, instinctively they can feel something just doesn’t seem right.

Think about your childhood and what you noticed when you were a kid.

Do you see what I mean?

6. Dads are Servant Leader

The ability to serve is an important trait.

Leading is not just about telling the ones you’re leading what to do.

It’s also about serving them as well.

The same concept applies to fatherhood.

Some of the concepts that differentiate “servant leaders” from leaders is ( source ):

• ➫ Humility is an excellent characteristic of a dad who’s a servant leader. He’s not necessarily after the attention and is ok with others getting the praise.
• ➫ Hard work and the pursuit of excellence not just in your family but in yourself as well.
• ➫ Selflessness he’s always thinking about the family.

No matter how tired he is, he always seems to have the energy to play with his kids.

There are other characteristics of a father who is a servant leader.

I would like to dive into this a little bit later, but until then.

Dads need to be servant leaders.

Which means you’re leading with a servant’s heart.

7. Fathers are Supportive to their Kids

A dad should strive to be supportive of his kids even when it’s hard.

This is important both when your kids are young and as they get older.

When your children are young, you’re building the foundations they’re going to need down the road.

As they get older, your support can drive them to excel in their endeavors.

I should clarify.

Supporting your kids doesn’t mean you agree with them on everything they’re doing.

It also doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to change some of those behaviors.

What supporting your kids does mean is sometimes it’s just about loving them where they’re at.

8. Father’s are Slow to Anger

I’ve mentioned a couple times about the negative connotation men get when they display what has stereotypically been “feminine” emotions.

So, for example crying and to some lesser extent softer emotions like empathy.

Instead, the emotions dads get portrayed as having is anger.

When they get angry, they then act in a poor manner.

Unfortunately, we seem to be starting to normalize some of these poor behaviors.

Look at the media portrayals of dads for example.

The dads as portrayed by tv shows have the emotional equivalent of a toddler.

I’m not saying don’t get angry.

That would be silly.

You’re going to get angry.

It’s just going to happen.

What’s important is how you act.

The test of fatherhood is your ability to handle those emotions.

Your kids will be watching and learning how daddy handles situations when he gets angry.

In turn, they’ll be learning how they should handle situations when they get angry.

9. A Good Father Loves His Kids

Discipline without love breeds resentment.A good father loves his kids.Your kids should never wonder whether you love them.

Your children should be able to find peace, comfort, rest, and consistency in your love.

10. A Father Needs to be Patient

Patience is a virtue as the saying goes.As a father, your family is going to test your patience on a regular basis.

As challenging as it may be, each day you need to pass your test.

How you react in those circumstances could be what defines you in the eyes of your kids.

For example, the thought of teaching your child immediately comes to my mind. How do you handle it when you’re teaching your kids a skill?

What about when your tutoring them and they’re not learning it as fast as you would like?

Do you get angry?

Do you yell at them?

Or do you continue to be patient with them?

Do you continue to keep encouraging them?

11. Good dads are Dependable

Good dads should be a man of his words.

His family should be able to count on him.

But most importantly, when he says he’s going to do something his family and especially his kids know it’s going to happen.

If you tell your kids you’re going to be there for their soccer game or football game (or whatever it is) you need to be there.

If you get into a habit of breaking your word to your family, they’ll soon learn

“we can’t depend on dad.”

You don’t want that.

12. Kids Need a Dad that’s Compassionate

I think compassion doesn’t get brought up enough when it comes to dads. Compassion is sympathy or pity for someone else during their suffering.

With that being said can you not see how valuable that attribute is for a dad.

Your child for the next 10+ years is going to think the world is ending for every scrapes, bumps, and heartbreaks.

You don’t have to like it. You should coach them out of it. But remember the compassion. You might not think it’s a big deal. Honestly, most of it won’t be, but it doesn’t matter. You were a kid once.

To them it is, so try to meet them where they’re at and coach them out of it.

13. A Playful Dad is Important

Kids love having fun, and they’re good at it (sometimes at the expense of a furniture or wall).

Kids learn a lot through fun and play ( source ). Even when it’s not about learning, sometimes it’s just about the playing.Remember when I said above let kids be kids?

Along with that join them. Dads need to be able to play with his kids, have fun and just enjoy life with them.

14. A Good Dad is Present and Involved

The expectation for dads is to be present in the family.

We’ve already mentioned the consequences of an absent father .

Your fatherly role is not just about working and providing for the family.

Don’t get me wrong it’s one of your roles and an important one.

But it’s not the only role.

The interesting thing is to your kids being a provider will not be the most important role to them.

What will be, is your ability to be present in their life.

Both on a physical level but on an emotional and mental level.

It does no good if you’re physically there.

But your minds somewhere else.

15. A Good Father is Proactive

A good dad is proactive instead of being reactive.

What’s the difference you ask?

Being proactive means making changes when you see something that could go wrong.

Being reactive is making those changes only after things go wrong.

For a dad this can vary from time to time.

It could be your parenting style.

Maybe it’s your relationship with your children.

Or your wife.

Either way you want to resolve problems before they become problems.

Conclusions

There are many important attributes of a good father. Many of them we didn’t mention. What we did is hit on some of the qualities we believe to be very important.

A couple takeaways:

• This list is not a way to make you feel like you’re inferior
• It’s also not a way for you to feel like you’re being judged.
• Great dads will probably not excel in all these qualities and traits. But they are still trying.
• You’ll probably notice that many of these are both qualities of a good father and husband.

What qualities of a father did we miss?

Thank you for reading this article.

Please take a moment to share it so we can help other dads.

About the Author

ParentsPlusKids.com is the go-to resource for new moms and dads who are trying to survive motherhood and fatherhood.

I’d like to say this article is based purely on one’s opinion of a good father and is not written in stone like the 10 commandments. True it states you may not be good at all these things on the list, but this list fails to take into consideration everyone’s situation in a marriage or as a father varies a little. This is a self written list on what one person’s opinion of being a good father is. No one should take it to seriously.

there will always be someone who is negative and has to say negative to hints about everything and everyone

Blog Details

8 signs man is a good father, according to psychology.

Being a great dad isn’t just about bearing the title. It’s a role that comes with responsibilities and challenges.

Psychology offers us insightful clues on what makes a man not just a father but a good father.

And no, it’s not just about bringing home the bacon or being the loudest cheerleader at a soccer game.

There are certain signs, backed by psychology, that can help us spot a genuinely good father. In this article, we’ll explore eight of these signs.

Whether you’re a dad looking to up your game or someone wanting to appreciate the good father figure in your life, read on. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Empathy is key

One of the most telling signs of a good father is his ability to empathize.

Empathy, as defined by psychologists, isn’t just about understanding someone else’s feelings. It’s about sharing those feelings, too. It involves putting oneself in another’s shoes, experiencing their emotions as if they were your own.

A good father knows when his child is upset, even when no words are spoken. He acknowledges the child’s feelings, validates them, and guides them through it.

But empathy isn’t just about dealing with negative emotions. It also means sharing in a child’s joy, excitement, and curiosity.

2) Quality time matters

I’ve discovered that one major characteristic of a good father is the quality of time he spends with his children.

You see, I remember my own dad. He wasn’t the type who would buy extravagant gifts or take us on fancy vacations. But he was always there. He had a knack for turning ordinary moments into extraordinary memories.

He would turn our backyard into a wonderland, complete with handmade swings and imaginary treasure hunts. He would spend hours on end helping me with school projects, turning even the most boring topics into fun learning experiences.

Now as a psychologist, I understand that these actions weren’t just fun and games. They were essential in building a strong emotional bond between us.

Research indicates that children with fathers who spend quality time with them tend to have better emotional health and higher self-esteem.

3) Consistency is key

In the world of psychology, consistency is often linked to trust, and trust is a crucial element in any relationship, especially between a father and a child.

A good father is consistent in his actions and decisions. Whether it’s maintaining a regular bedtime routine or sticking to agreed-upon rules and punishments, consistency provides a sense of security and predictability for children.

Children with consistent parents are more likely to develop secure attachments, leading to better social skills and lower levels of anxiety and depression.

When you see a man who sticks to his word and maintains consistency in his actions, it’s more than likely that he’s an excellent father.

4) Active listening is crucial

Listening is an art, and when it comes to being a good father, it’s an essential one.

Active listening isn’t just about being quiet while the child talks. It involves engaging, asking relevant questions, and showing genuine interest in what the child is saying.

This shows the child that their thoughts and feelings are valued, and it helps build their self-esteem and confidence.

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A father who demonstrates active listening skills not only encourages open communication but also enables his child to feel heard and understood.

5) He’s their biggest cheerleader

Being a good father isn’t just about teaching and disciplining. It’s about celebrating and encouraging, too.

A good father is his child’s biggest cheerleader. He is there to celebrate their wins, no matter how small, and to encourage them when they stumble and fall.

He believes in his child’s dreams and aspirations, even when they seem far-fetched or unrealistic. His belief in them often becomes their belief in themselves.

When a child feels this support from their father, it fills them with confidence and courage to face life’s challenges.

6) Teaches respect

I remember a day when I was about seven years old. I was playing in the park with my father when a homeless man approached us. I was scared, but my father didn’t flinch. Instead, he greeted the man, asked him how his day was going, and even offered him some food we had with us.

That day, my father taught me one of the most important lessons in life – respect.

A good father teaches his child to respect others, not through lectures but through his actions. He shows respect to everyone, regardless of their social status, race, or religion.

This lesson is invaluable as the child grows up in a diverse world. It helps them develop empathy, kindness and understanding towards others.

7) Encourages independence

A good father knows the importance of fostering independence in his children. He understands that his role is not to always hold his child’s hand but to prepare them to navigate the world on their own.

He allows his child to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from them. He provides guidance and support, but he also knows when to step back and let his child figure things out.

This delicate balance between providing support and promoting independence helps children develop problem-solving skills, resilience, and self-reliance.

When you see a man who encourages his child to try new things, to face challenges head-on, and to learn from their mistakes, you’re looking at a father who is doing an excellent job.

8) Unconditional love is paramount

At the heart of being a good father, according to psychology, is unconditional love.

A good father loves his child without any conditions. This love isn’t based on achievements, behavior, or circumstances. It’s constant and unwavering.

He communicates this love not just through words but through his actions – his patience, his understanding, his time, his care.

This unconditional love provides the child with a sense of security and self-worth that serves as a foundation for their emotional and psychological development.

Final thoughts: It’s all about connection

When it comes to being a good father, psychology points us towards a fundamental truth – it’s all about connection.

This connection isn’t just about spending time together or having conversations. It’s deeper. It’s about understanding a child’s emotions, validating their feelings, and meeting them where they are.

It’s about creating an environment of trust and security, where a child feels confident to explore, make mistakes, and learn.

It’s about showing unconditional love and respect, regardless of the circumstances.

This connection that a good father fosters with his child forms the bedrock of their emotional and psychological development.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Father — How My Father Has Influenced Me the Most in My Life

How My Father Has Influenced Me The Most in My Life

• Categories: Father Influential Person

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Published: Sep 1, 2023

Words: 685 | Pages: 2 | 4 min read

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A role model of perseverance, the power of empathy and compassion, lifelong learning and intellectual curiosity, legacy and moving forward.

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