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What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It)

• Tasha Eurich

Although most people believe that they are self-aware, true self-awareness is a rare quality. In this piece, the author describes a recent large-scale investigation that shed light on some of the biggest roadblocks, myths, and truths about what self-awareness really is — and what it takes to cultivate it. Specifically, the study found that there are actually two distinct types of self-awareness, that experience and power can hinder self-awareness, and that introspection doesn’t always make you more self-aware. Understanding these key points can help leaders learn to see themselves more clearly.

It’s not just about introspection.

Self-awareness seems to have become the latest management buzzword — and for good reason. Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative . We make sounder decisions , build stronger relationships , and communicate more effectively . We’re less likely to lie, cheat, and steal . We are better workers who get more promotions . And we’re more-effective leaders with more-satisfied employees and more-profitable companies .

• TE Tasha Eurich , PhD, is an organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is the principal of The Eurich Group, a boutique executive development firm that helps companies — from startups to the Fortune 100 — succeed by improving the effectiveness of their leaders and teams. Her newest book, Insight , delves into the connection between self-awareness and success in the workplace.

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Journey Into Self-Awareness

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Chapter 3 Individual Differences and Work Behavior

INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES

Exploring Management Chapter 12 Individual Behavior.

Perception, Personality, and Emotion

Emotional Intelligence  Ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide.

McGraw-Hill/Irwin Copyright © 2009 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Journey Into Self-Awareness “Know Thyself.” ~ Socrates.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” Henry Ford.

©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Copyright ©2011 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall.

The Best of Both Worlds of Psychology and Sociology

© 2016 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Understanding Management First Canadian Edition Slides prepared by Janice Edwards College of the Rockies Copyright © 2009 Nelson Education Ltd.

T 7.0 Chapter 7: Questioning for Inquiry Chapter 7: Questioning for Inquiry Central concepts:  Questioning stimulates and guides inquiry  Teachers use.

Social Cognitive & Trait Theories

Module 20 Social Cognitive & Trait Theories. SOCIAL COGNITIVE THEORY Definition –Says that personality development is shaped primarily by three forces:

Chapter ©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or.

3 C H A P T E R Individual Differences and Work Behavior

Chapter 2 Foundations: Perception, Attitudes, and Personality Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Publisher, Copyright

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How to Boost Your Self-Awareness

Here's why knowing yourself is so important—plus, how to improve it

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

• Development
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• Self-Consciousness

Frequently Asked Questions

Self-awareness is your ability to perceive and understand the things that make you who you are as an individual, including your personality, actions, values, beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. Essentially, it is a psychological state in which the self becomes the focus of  attention .

While self-awareness is central to your identity, it is not something you are acutely focused on at every moment of every day. Instead, self-awareness becomes woven into the fabric of who you are and emerges at different points depending on the situation and your personality .​

At a Glance

While we might not think about it all the time, self-awareness is critical to our understand of our selves and our relationship with the world. This understanding starts to form early in life, and become increasingly important as we grow older and begin to gain greater insights into our own thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behavior patterns. Keep reading to learn more about what experts have learned about how self-awareness develops, the different forms it can take, and what you can do to gain deeper insights into who you are as an individual.

How Does Self-Awareness Develop?

Self-awareness is one of the first components of the  self-concept  to emerge. People are not born completely self-aware. Yet evidence suggests that infants do have a rudimentary sense of self-awareness.

Infants are aware that they are separate from others, as evidenced by behaviors such as the rooting reflex, in which an infant searches for a nipple when something brushes against their face. Researchers have also found that even newborns can differentiate between self- and non-self touch.

Studies have demonstrated that a more complex sense of self-awareness emerges around one year of age and becomes much more developed by approximately 18 months of age.

Self-Awareness and the Mirror Recognition Task

One way that research can measure self-awareness is by using what is known as a mirror self-recognition task. In a classic conducted by researchers Lewis and Brooks-Gunn, the researchers utilized this task to examine how self-awareness develops.

The researchers applied a red dot to an infant's nose and held the child to a mirror. Children who recognized themselves in the mirror would reach for their own noses rather than the reflection in the mirror, which indicated that they had at least some level of self-awareness.

Lewis and Brooks-Gunn found that almost no children under one year would reach for their own noses rather than the reflection in the mirror.

About 25% of the infants between 15 and 18 months reached for their own noses while about 70% of those between 21 and 24 months did so. This suggests that children exhibit self-awareness and self-recognition at 15 months and have a fully developed sense of mirror recognition by 24 months.

It is important to note that the Lewis and Brooks-Gunn study only indicates an infant's visual self-awareness; children might actually possess other forms of self-awareness even at this early point in life. For example, researchers have also suggested that  expressing emotions  involves self-awareness and an ability to think about oneself in relation to other people.

Self-Awareness and the Brain

Researchers have proposed that an area of the brain known as the anterior cingulate cortex located in the frontal lobe region plays an important role in developing self-awareness. Studies have also used brain imaging to show that this region becomes activated in adults who are self-aware.

The Lewis and Brooks-Gunn experiment suggests that self-awareness begins to emerge in children around the age of 18 months, an age that coincides with the rapid growth of spindle cells in the anterior cingulate cortex.

However, one study found that a patient retained self-awareness even with extensive damage to areas of the brain including the insula and the anterior cingulate cortex.

This suggests that these areas of the brain are not required for most aspects of self-awareness and that awareness may instead arise from interactions distributed among brain networks.

Levels of Self-Awareness

So how exactly do children become aware of themselves as separate beings? One major theory of self-awareness, introduced by developmental psychologist Philippe Rochat, suggests that there are five levels of self-awareness. Children progress through these stages between birth and approximately age 4 or 5:

• Differentiation : A baby begins to acknowledge their own reflection. They may detect there is something different or special about looking at their reflection.
• Situation : A baby begins to recognize their own reflection, being, and movements as separate from those around them.
• Identification : This is the stage during which a child fully knows that it is their own reflection in a mirror. They know, "This is me ."
• Permanence : They have a complete sense of themselves and can identify themselves in pictures or videos, even as their appearance changes.
• Self-consciousness : A child adapts a third-person point of view of themselves; they become aware of the idea that others perceive them in certain ways. This may result in feelings such as pride or shame .

Types of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness also takes different forms that can emerge in different situations and settings. Psychologists often break self-awareness down into two different types, either public or private.

Public Self-Awareness

This type emerges when people are aware of how they appear to others. Public self-awareness typically emerges in situations when people are at the center of attention .

This type of self-awareness often compels people to adhere to social norms . When we are aware that we are being watched and evaluated, we often try to behave in socially acceptable and desirable ways.

Public self-awareness can also lead to evaluation anxiety in which people become distressed, anxious, or worried about how they are perceived by others. Performance anxiety and social anxiety are two examples of how public self-awareness can sometimes lead to worry and distress about how other evaluate us.

Public Self-Awareness Examples

You may experience public self-awareness in the workplace, such as when you're giving an important presentation or when telling a story to a group of friends. Because you are the focus of attention, you become more acutely aware of how others might perceive you.

Private Self-Awareness

This type happens when people become aware of some aspects of themselves, but only in a private way. For example, seeing your face in the mirror is a type of private self-awareness.

Certain strategies can help you build a greater sense of private self-awareness. For example, journaling, meditating, and practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your inner thoughts, feelings, and sensations.

Private Self-Awareness Examples

Feeling your stomach lurch when you realize you forgot to study for an important test or feeling your heart flutter when you see someone you are attracted to are also examples of private self-awareness.

Why Is Self-Awareness Important?

Self-awareness is important because it allows you to reflect on aspects of yourself. As you understand your abilities and tendencies, your self-awareness also allows you to think about how you interact with others and the world around you.

Self-aware people are able to manage their behaviors and adapt to situations. They can accurately evaluate what the situation requires and then modify their actions accordingly.

This can be vital in many areas of life, including your relationships and work. It can also factor in when it comes to personal development. As you become more aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you can take steps to capitalize on the things you are good at and explore ways to improve the areas where you might struggle.

How to Improve Your Self-Awareness

So how do you grow self-awareness? There are many ways you can practice being present with yourself and your emotions, which, in turn, can help improve your self-awareness.

Meditation can be an especially useful practice because you don't have to worry about changing anything—simply noticing what happens during a meditation can bring greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings.

Maybe you notice that you hold tension in your body by clenching your jaw, for instance, or that you tend to worry so much about the future that it's hard to be in the present moment. This is all valuable information that can help you get to know yourself and your tendencies.

Journaling is a practice of self-reflection that can help you notice how you think and behave and even which areas in your life you may wish to improve. It can be a therapeutic way to gain insight into your life events and relationships.

Talk Therapy

During therapy—such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—a therapist works with you to address negative thought patterns or behaviors.

By understanding the underlying cause of your negative thoughts, for instance, you're in a more advantageous position to change them and use healthy coping mechanisms instead.

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness and emotional intelligence (EQ) go hand in hand. EQ refers to a person's ability to perceive their own emotions and those of others. Someone with a high EQ can effectively respond to emotions with empathy and compassion .

Of course, no one is perfect, and EQ is a skill like any other. But by learning to express your emotions in a healthy way and practicing active listening in your relationships, you're contributing to the expansion of your self-awareness as well.

Try Our EQ Test

Our fast and free EQ test can help you determine whether or not your responses to certain situations in life indicate a high level of emotional intelligence:

When Self-Awareness Leads to Self-Consciousness

Sometimes, people can become overly self-aware and veer into what is known as self-consciousness . Have you ever felt like everyone was watching you, judging your actions, and waiting to see what you will do next? This heightened state of self-awareness can leave you feeling awkward and nervous in some instances.

In many cases, these feelings of self-consciousness are only temporary and arise when we are "in the spotlight." For some people, however, excessive self-consciousness can reflect a chronic condition such as social anxiety disorder .

While self-awareness plays a critical role in how we understand ourselves and how we relate to others and the world, excessive self-consciousness can result in challenges such as anxiety and stress .

If you struggle with self-consciousness, discuss your symptoms with a doctor or mental health professional to learn more about what you can do to cope with these feelings.

Being self-aware is all about having an understanding of your own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. It means that you understand who you are, what you want, how you feel, and why you do the things that you do.

There are many different ways to think about self-awareness, but four keys that are often mentioned included mindfulness, self-compassion, reflection, and feedback.

Mindfulness allows people to become more aware of themselves in the present, while compassion allows them to do so without passing judgment on themselves. Reflection and feedback allow people to take what they have learned and improve themselves in order to achieve their goals and reach their full potential.

The five elements of self-awarenesses are:

• Consciousness : This means being aware of your internal experiences, including your emotions and thoughts.
• Self-knowledge : This element is focused on your understanding of who you are, including your beliefs, values, and motivations.
• Emotional intelligence : This element is focused on the ability to understand and manage emotions.
• Self-acceptance : This aspect is centered on accepting who you are and showing yourself compassion and kindness.
• Self-reflection : This element of self-awareness involves being able to think deeply about your feelings, thoughts, and goals in order to gain an even better understanding of who you are and your place in the world.

Rochat, P. Five levels of self-awareness as they unfold early in life . Consciousness and Cognition . 2003;12(4):717-31. doi:10.1016/S1053-8100(03)00081-3

Lewis M, Minar NJ. Self-recognition and emotional knowledge .  Eur J Dev Psychol . 2022;19(3):319-342. doi:10.1080/17405629.2021.1890578

Moeller SJ, Goldstein RZ. Impaired self-awareness in human addiction: deficient attribution of personal relevance . Trends Cogn Sci (Regul Ed). 2014;18(12):635-41. PMID: 25278368

Philippi CL, Feinstein JS, Khalsa SS, et al. Preserved self-awareness following extensive bilateral brain damage to the insula, anterior cingulate, and medial prefrontal cortices . PLoS ONE. 2012;7(8):e38413. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0038413

Rochat P. Layers of awareness in development . Developmental Review . 2015;38:122-145. doi:10.1016/j.dr.2015.07.009

Sutton A. Measuring the effects of self-awareness: Construction of the self-awareness outcomes questionnaire .  Eur J Psychol . 2016;12(4):645-658. doi:10.5964/ejop.v12i4.1178

Xiao Q, Yue C, He W, Yu JY. The mindful self: A mindfulness-enlightened self-view .  Front Psychol . 2017;8:1752. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01752

Pena‐Silva RA, Velasco‐Castro JM, Matsingos C, Jaramillo‐Rincon SX. Journaling as an effective tool to promote metacognition and enhance study methods in a pharmacology course, during and after the pandemic .  FASEB J . 2022;36(Suppl 1):10.1096/fasebj.2022.36.S1.R4840. doi:10.1096/fasebj.2022.36.S1.R4840

Nakao M, Shirotsuki K, Sugaya N. Cognitive–behavioral therapy for management of mental health and stress-related disorders: Recent advances in techniques and technologies . BioPsychoSocial Med. 2021;15(1). doi:10.1186/s13030-021-00219-w

Serrat O. Understanding and developing emotional intelligence . Knowledge Solutions. 2017:329-339. doi:10.1007/978-981-10-0983-9_37

Dasilveira A, Desouza ML, Gomes WB. Self-consciousness concept and assessment in self-report measures . Front Psychol . 2015;6:930. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00930

Stein DJ. Social anxiety disorder and the psychobiology of self-consciousness .  Front Hum Neurosci . 2015;9:489. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2015.00489

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

What Is Self-Awareness? (+5 Ways to Be More Self-Aware)

While it may not be possible to attain total objectivity about oneself (that’s a debate that has continued to rage throughout the history of philosophy), there are certainly degrees of self-awareness. It exists on a spectrum.

Although everyone has a fundamental idea of what self-awareness is, we don’t know exactly where it comes from, what its precursors are, or why some of us seem to have more or less than others.

This is where the self-awareness theory comes in, offering some potential answers to questions like these.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will not only help you increase the compassion and kindness you show yourself but will also give you the tools to help your clients, students, or employees show more compassion to themselves.

This Article Contains:

What is self-awareness theory, research on the topic, 4 proven benefits of self-awareness, 3 examples of self-awareness skills, 5 ways to increase your self-awareness, importance in counseling and coaching, meditation, mindfulness, and self-awareness, self-awareness & emotional intelligence, 4 tips for improving self-awareness in relationships, role in the workplace and leadership, self-awareness in students and children, a take-home message.

Self-awareness theory is based on the idea that you are not your thoughts, but the entity observing your thoughts; you are the thinker, separate and apart from your thoughts (Duval & Wicklund, 1972).

We can go about our day without giving our inner self any extra thought, merely thinking and feeling and acting as we will; however, we also can focus our attention on that inner self, an ability that Duval and Wicklund (1972) termed “self-evaluation.”

When we engage in self-evaluation, we can give some thought to whether we are thinking and feeling and acting as we “should” or following our standards and values. This is referred to as comparing against our standards of correctness. We do this daily, using these standards as a way to judge the rightness of our thoughts and behaviors.

Using these standards is a major component of practicing self-control, as we evaluate and determine whether we are making the right choices to achieve our goals.

This theory has been around for several decades, giving researchers plenty of time to test its soundness. The depth of knowledge on self-awareness, its correlates, and its benefits can provide us with a healthy foundation for enhancing self-awareness in ourselves and others.

According to the theory, there are two primary outcomes of comparing ourselves against our standards of correctness:

• We “pass,” or find alignment between ourselves and our standards.
• We “fail,” or find a discrepancy between ourselves and our standards (Silvia & Duval, 2001).

When we find a discrepancy between the two, we find ourselves with two choices: to work toward reducing the discrepancy or avoid it entirely.

Self-awareness theory (and subsequent research) suggests that there are a couple of different factors that influence how we choose to respond. Basically, it comes down to how we think it will turn out. If we believe there’s little chance of actually changing this discrepancy, we tend to avoid it. If we believe it’s likely that we can improve our alignment with our standards of correctness, we take action.

Our actions will also depend on how much time and effort we believe that realignment will take; the slower progress will be, the less likely we are to take on the realignment efforts, especially if the perceived discrepancy between ourselves and our standards is large (Silvia & Duval, 2001).

Essentially, this means that when faced with a significant discrepancy that will take a lot of consistent and focused work, we often simply don’t bother and stick to avoiding self-evaluation on this particular discrepancy.

Further, our level of self-awareness interacts with the likelihood of success in realigning ourselves and our standards to determine how we think about the outcome. When we are self-aware and believe there is a high chance of success, we are generally quick to attribute that success or failure to our efforts.

Conversely, when we are self-aware but believe there is a low chance of success, we tend to think that the outcome is more influenced by external factors than our efforts (Silvia & Duval, 2001). Of course, sometimes our success in realignment with our standards is driven in part by external factors, but we always have a role to play in our successes and failures.

Interestingly, we also have some control over our standards, such that we may alter our standards if we find that we don’t measure up to them (Dana, Lalwani, & Duval, 1997).

This is more likely to happen if we’re focused more on the standards than on ourselves; if we fail when we are focused on the standards more than our performance, we are more likely to blame the standards and alter them to fit our performance (Dana et al., 1997).

Although it may sound like merely shifting the blame to standards and, therefore, letting yourself off the hook for a real discrepancy, there are many situations in which the standards are overly strict. Therapists’ offices are filled with people who hold themselves to impossibly high standards, effectively giving themselves no chance of success when comparing themselves to their internal standards.

It’s clear from the research on self-awareness that it is an important factor in how we think, feel, act, and react to our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Self Awareness – TalentSprout

Now, let’s shift our attention to research on the outcomes of being self-aware.

As you might imagine, there are many benefits to practicing self-awareness :

• It can make us more proactive, boost our acceptance, and encourage positive self-development (Sutton, 2016).
• Self-awareness allows us to see things from the perspective of others, practice self-control , work creatively and productively, and experience pride in ourselves and our work as well as general self-esteem (Silvia & O’Brien, 2004).
• It leads to better decision making (Ridley, Schutz, Glanz, & Weinstein, 1992).
• It can make us better at our jobs, better communicators in the workplace, and enhance our self-confidence and job-related wellbeing (Sutton, Williams, & Allinson, 2015).

Download 3 Free Self-Compassion Exercises (PDF)

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So we know that self-awareness is good, but what does it look like? How does one practice self-awareness?

Below are three examples of someone practicing self-awareness skills:

Bob at work

Bob struggles with creating a quarterly report at work, and he frequently produces subpar results. He notices the discrepancy between his standards and performance and engages in self-evaluation to determine where it comes from and how to improve.

He asks himself what makes the task so hard for him, and he realizes that he never seems to have trouble doing the work that goes into the report, but rather, writing it up cohesively and clearly.

Bob decides to fix the discrepancy by taking a course to improve his writing ability, having a colleague review his report before submitting it, and creating a reusable template for future reports so he is sure to include all relevant information.

Monique at home

Monique is having relationship problems with her boyfriend, Luis. She thinks Luis takes her for granted and doesn’t tell her he loves her or share affection enough. They fight about this frequently.

Suddenly, she realizes that she may be contributing to the problem. She looks inward and sees that she doesn’t show Luis appreciation very often, overlooking the nice things he does around the house for her and little physical touches that show his affection.

Monique considers her thought processes when Luis misses an opportunity to make her feel loved and notes that she assumes he purposely avoids doing things that she likes. She spends time thinking and talking with Luis about how they want to show and receive love, and they begin to work on improving their relationship.

Bridget on her own

Bridget struggles with low self-esteem , which causes depressive symptoms. She doesn’t feel good enough, and she doesn’t accept opportunities that come her way because of it. She begins working with a therapist to help her build self-awareness.

The next time an opportunity comes her way, she thinks she doesn’t want to do it and initially decides to turn it down. Later, with the help of some self-awareness techniques, Bridget realizes that she is only telling herself she doesn’t want to do it because of her fear that she won’t be good enough.

Bridget reminds herself that she is good enough and redirects her thoughts to “what if I succeed?” instead of “what if I fail?” She accepts the opportunity and continues to use self-awareness and self-love to improve her chances of success.

These three stories exemplify what self-awareness can look like and what it can do for you when you tap into it. Without self-awareness, Bob would have kept turning in bad reports, Monique would have continued in an unsatisfying relationship or broken things off, and Bridget would never have taken the opportunity that helped her grow.

If you look for them, you can find these stories everywhere.

There are many ways to build and practice self-awareness, but here are some of the most effective:

1. Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness refers to being present in the moment and paying attention to yourself and your surroundings rather than getting lost in thought or ruminating or daydreaming.

Meditation is the practice of focusing your attention on one thing, such as your breath, a mantra, or a feeling, and letting your thoughts drift by instead of holding on to them.

Both practices can help you become more aware of your internal state and your reactions to things. They can also help you identify your thoughts and feelings and keep from getting so caught up in them that you lose your hold on your “self.”

2. Practice yoga

Yoga is a physical practice, but it’s just as much a mental practice. While your body is stretching and bending and flexing, your mind is learning discipline, self-acceptance , and awareness. You become more aware of your body and all the feelings that manifest, and you become more aware of your mind and the thoughts that crop up.

You can even pair yoga with mindfulness or meditation to boost your self-awareness.

3. Make time to reflect

Reflecting can be done in multiple ways (including journaling; see the next tip) and is customizable to the person reflecting, but the important thing is to go over your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to see where you met your standards, where you failed them, and where you could improve.

You can also reflect on your standards themselves to see if they are good ones for you to hold yourself to. You can try writing in a journal, talking out loud, or simply sitting quietly and thinking, whatever helps you to reflect on yourself.

The benefit of journaling is that it allows you to identify, clarify, and accept your thoughts and feelings. It helps you discover what you want, what you value, and what works for you. It can also help you find out what you don’t want, what is not important to you, and what doesn’t work for you.

Both are equally important to learn. Whether you like to write free-flowing entries, bulleted lists, or poems, writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to become more aware and intentional.

5. Ask the people you love

It’s vital to feel we know ourselves from the inside, but external feedback helps too. Ask your family and close friends about what they think about you. Have them describe you and see what rings true with you and what surprises you.

Carefully consider what they say and think about it when you journal or otherwise reflect. Of course, don’t take any one person’s word as gospel; you need to talk to a variety of people to get a comprehensive view of yourself.

And remember that at the end of the day, it’s your self-beliefs and feelings that matter the most to you!

Self-awareness is a powerful tool that, when practiced regularly, can do more good for coachees and clients than anything else a professional can share with them. To make real, impactful, and lasting change, people need to be able to look inward and become familiar with that internal environment.

Building self-awareness should be a top priority for virtually all clients, after which the more traditional coaching and counseling work can begin. For example, you can counsel someone on their bad habits and give 1,000 ways to break their habits.

Still, if they don’t understand why they tend toward these bad habits in the first place, it’s almost a guarantee that they will either never break those habits or will quit for a while and simply pick up where they left off when things get tough.

Self-awareness is not only vital for the coachee or client; it is also important for the coach or counselor. In fact, self-awareness is prioritized as a core standard in the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs Standards (2017) for the profession, as both a requirement for counselors and a necessary skill to build in clients.

It takes a good amount of self-awareness to give competent counsel and provide actionable advice. Plus, self-awareness will help the caring counselor from getting too wrapped up in their client’s problems or seeing the issues through their own skewed lens.

To truly help someone, it’s essential to see things from their perspective, and that requires being self-aware enough to put our thoughts and feelings aside sometimes.

The link between meditation, mindfulness, and self-awareness is clear, meaning it’s no surprise that practicing the first two will naturally lead to more of the third.

When we meditate or practice mindfulness, we are paying attention to the things that can often get ignored in our busy day-to-day: the present moment and our own internal experience. Those who get to know their thought processes and patterns are more able to adapt and improve them, both by simply being aware of their processes and patterns and by giving themselves a mechanism for practicing and improving.

Indeed, a program intended to enhance self-awareness (among other things) through yoga and meditation resulted in a range of improvements, including more positive affect, less stress, greater mindfulness, enhanced resilience, and even greater job satisfaction (Trent et al., 2019).

According to the most popular theory of emotional intelligence from psychologist and author Daniel Goleman (2001), self-awareness is not only crucial for emotional intelligence; it’s one of the five components.

These five components are:

• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Social skills

Other popular theories of emotional intelligence also include self-awareness as a core component, making it one of the factors that virtually all researchers and experts agree on (Goleman, 2001).

Self-awareness is a necessary building block of emotional intelligence; it is the building block upon which the rest of the components are built. One must have self-awareness to self-regulate, and social skills will be weak and of little use if you are not aware enough about when and how to use them.

If you’re looking to build your emotional intelligence, self-awareness is the first step. Make sure you have developed strong skills in self-awareness before giving the other elements your all.

Individuals do not want to be too similar or too dissimilar to others. They search for optimal distinctiveness (Brewer, 1991). Being too different and unaccepted can lead to stigmatization, prejudice, and isolation (Lynn & Snyder, 2002).

But being too similar can make you lose your sense of self. All humans have these competing needs to belong (Baumeister & Leary, 1995) yet stand out from others. People may vary in their need for uniqueness. Still, most people adjust their behaviors to set them apart when they feel too similar to others (Mengers, 2014).

In that respect, you can compare a person to an onion. Personal identities are at the core, with social identities building the different outward layers. Imagine, for example, you are traveling and asked where you are from. Answering the specific district you are from won’t relate to a person from a different continent, but telling your home country won’t differentiate you from others of the same nationality.

Other common social identities are race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or age. Given the context, people can call their social identity to action, depending on their need to belong to or differ from a group (Brewer, 1991).

Individuals can fulfill their needs simultaneously by activating social identities associated with distinct groups, resulting in greater levels of wellbeing (Mengers, 2014).

Apart from benefits for personal wellbeing and life satisfaction, societies can benefit from encouraging distinctiveness (Lynn & Snyder, 2002). Open and accepting environments allow people to assert their uniqueness, engage in their interests and pursuits and fear negative consequences less (Mengers, 2014).

To know who you are and live authentically, you must also understand what you are not. Distinctiveness is an essential tool to help differentiate you from others. Openness and approval must be encouraged to enable individuals, especially teenagers, to thrive.

If you want to be more like post-reflection Monique than pre-reflection Monique (referring to examples of self-awareness skills in action above), or if you’re going to help your clients with their relationship woes, here are some excellent tips for introducing more self-awareness within the context of a relationship:

1. Be mindful

Practice mindfulness, especially when interacting with your loved ones. Pay attention to the words they say, their tone, their body language, and their facial expressions. We often communicate far more information with the latter three than we do with our words alone. Give your loved ones your full attention.

Have regular discussions about the relationship. It’s important to keep things in perspective and ensure that nothing is falling between the cracks.

When you have regular conversations about your relationship with your loved ones, it’s much harder to avoid or ignore things that can turn into problems. It also helps you reflect on your part and come prepared to discuss your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with your loved ones.

3. Quality time

Spend quality time together and apart. This is especially important for romantic relationships, as we often find ourselves spending most or even all of our free time with our spouse or partner. However much you love and enjoy spending time with your partner, everyone needs some quality time alone.

Make sure you and your partner are both getting some quality “me” time to think about what you want, what you need, and what your goals are. This will help you keep yourself from merging too much into your partner and maintaining your independence and stability.

Then, since there will be two independent, stable, and healthy adults in the relationship, it will be even more fulfilling and satisfying to both partners when they spend quality time together.

4. Be considerate

Share your perspective and consider theirs. It’s easy to get too caught up in our own perspective on things; however, healthy relationships require that we consider others’ needs in addition to our own.

To know what our loved ones need and to deliver on those needs, we must first identify and understand them. We do this by practicing our self-awareness and sharing that awareness with our friends and family.

If you never check in with your loved ones on their views or feelings, it can cause you to drift apart and inhibit real, satisfying intimacy. Ask your loved ones for their perspective on things and share your perspective with them.

It’s easy to see how self-awareness can lead to these outcomes in the workplace, as better self-evaluation naturally leads to improving the alignment between our actions and our standards, resulting in better performance.

According to Tasha Eurich (2018), self-awareness can be divided into two categories or types: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.

Internal self-awareness is about how well we see ourselves and our strengths, weaknesses, values, etc., while external self-awareness is understanding how others view us with those same factors (Eurich, 2018). Good managers and leaders need both to perform well in their roles.

Although you might think that more experience as a leader and greater power in one’s role lead to better self-awareness, that may not be the case. Experience can be positive or negative in terms of learning and improving the self. Even positive experiences can lead one to attribute success to themselves when it may have had more to do with the circumstances, leading to false confidence.

In fact, only 10–15% of those in Eurich’s (2018) study displayed self-awareness, although most of us believe we are self-aware.

To improve self-awareness, Eurich (2018) recommends introspection , but with a focus on asking oneself the right questions. She notes that asking “why” might not always be effective, as many of our internal processes remain shrouded in our subconscious or unconscious minds; instead, asking “what” may lead to better introspection.

For example, instead of asking, “ Why do I fail at this task so often? ” you might ask yourself, “ What are the circumstances in which I fail at this task, and what can I do to change them? ” It’s not a foolproof method, but it can aid you in improving your self-awareness and increasing your alignment with your standards on certain activities.

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Self-awareness isn’t just for managers and employees; it can also substantially benefit students, children, and adolescents. The same benefits that make us more productive in the workplace can make students more productive in the classroom and at home: better communication with teachers and peers, more confidence, and more satisfaction with performance can all lead to happier, healthier students.

These benefits also apply to advanced students. Increased self-awareness leads to more self-care in medical students (Saunders et al., 2007) and a better understanding of one’s strengths and capabilities along with a boost to emotional intelligence in law students (James, 2011).

In short, a little extra self-awareness can be of great benefit to anyone with the will to improve. This piece includes a description of self-awareness, an exploration of the theory of self-awareness, examples, and tips and tools you can use to boost your self-awareness. We hope you find this information helpful in increasing your self-awareness or that of your clients.

What exercises do you use to help build self-awareness ? What are some other benefits you’ve noticed? Let us know in the comments section below.

If you liked this post, head on over to our post about self-awareness books to further help you increase reflection.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self Compassion Exercises for free .

• Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation.  Psychological Bulletin, 117(3) , 497–529.
• Brewer, M. B. (1991). The social self: On being the same and different at the same time.  Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 17(5) , 475-482.
• Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs. (2017). 2009 Standards. Retrieved from https://www.cacrep.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/2009-Standards.pdf
• Dana, E. R., Lalwani, N., & Duval, S. (1997). Objective self-awareness and focus of attention following awareness of self-standard discrepancies: Changing self or changing standards of correctness. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology , 16 , 359–380.
• Duval, S., & Wicklund, R. A. (1972). A theory of objective self-awareness . Academic Press.
• Eurich, T. (2018, January 4). What self-awareness really is (and how to cultivate it). Harvard Business Review . Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it
• Goleman, D. (2001). Emotional intelligence: Issues in paradigm building. In C. Cherniss & D. Goleman (Eds.) The emotionally intelligent workplace. Jossey-Bass.
• James, C. (2011). Law student wellbeing: Benefits of promoting psychological literacy and self-awareness using mindfulness, strengths theory, and emotional intelligence. Legal Education Review , 21 (2).
• Lynn, M., & Snyder, C. R. (2002). Uniqueness seeking.  Handbook of Positive Psychology , 395-410.
• Mengers, A. A. (2014). The benefits of being yourself: An examination of authenticity, uniqueness, and well-being .
• Ridley, D. S., Schutz, P. A., Glanz, R. S., & Weinstein, C. E. (1992). Self-regulated learning: The interactive influence of metacognitive awareness and goal-setting. The Journal of Experimental Education , 60 , 293–306.
• Saunders, P. A., Tractenberg, R. E., Chaterji, R., Amri, H., Harazduk, N., Gordon, J. S., … Haramati, A. (2007). Promoting self-awareness and reflection through an experiential mind–body skills course for first-year medical students. Medical Teacher , 29 , 778–784.
• Silvia, P. J., & Duval, T. S. (2001). Objective Self-Awareness Theory: Recent progress and enduring problems. Personality and Social Psychology Review , 5 , 230–241.
• Silvia, P. J., & O’Brien, M. E. (2004). Self-awareness and constructive functioning: Revisiting “the Human Dilemma.” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology , 23 , 475–489.
• Sutton, A. (2016). Measuring the effects of self-awareness: Construction of the Self-Awareness Outcomes Questionnaire. Europe’s Journal of Psychology , 12 , 645–658.
• Sutton, A., Williams, H. M., & Allinson, C. W. (2015). A longitudinal, mixed-method evaluation of self-awareness training in the workplace. European Journal of Training and Development , 39 , 610–627.
• Trent, N. L., Borden, S., Miraglia, M., Pasalis, E., Dusek, J. A., & Khalsa, S. B. S. (2019). Improvements in psychological and occupational wellbeing in a pragmatic controlled trial of a yoga-based program for professionals. Journal of Alternative & Complementary Medicine , 25 , 593–605.

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Denton ISD Social-Emotional Learning

Essential 8: Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness is understanding your own character, feelings motives, and desires.

It’s knowing who you are!

Knowing Who You Are

Self-identity and figuring out who you are is a primary goal of adolescence. So many changes occur during your teen years, as you move from child to adult, and that means trying to understand exactly who you are. An important point to note is that this type of self-discovery happens throughout your life -even your parents are continuing to figure out exactly who they are!

This means that you don’t have to have it all figured out today, and your interests and aspects of yourself can develop and change throughout your life.

Being Authentic

During adolescence, many people feel pressure to act a certain way or deny interests or aspects of themselves in order to “fit in” and be accepted by other people.

As tempting as this may be, a better goal is to be authentic or genuine to yourself. People can spot a fake, and you will spend so much time trying to pretend to be who you think people want you to be. However, if you are true to who you are, you will attract people who like you for you. You will find your people!

Learn More about Self-Awareness

Ways to Improve Your Self-Awareness

• Ask for Feedback - Talk to the people who know you best (parents, best friends, etc.) and ask how they would describe you.
• Recognize Strengths & Weaknesses -We all have both. Be honest with yourself and make a list of positives about yourself and areas where you struggle.
• Self-Reflect -Set aside time regularly to sit quietly and identify the emotions you are feeling and the thoughts you are having about yourself.
• Question Your Decisions -Pause before you decide to do something and make sure it is a decision in line with who you want to be.

Self-Awareness Activity

Take Stock of Who You Are!

On a piece of paper, draw out the image to the right or just list the prompts, and then fill in the blanks.

Some will come quickly to you, and some will take more time to think about.

What did you learn about yourself?

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What is self-awareness and how to develop it

Jump to section

What is self-awareness?

Two states of self-awareness

Why is self-awareness important?

Benefits of self-awareness, what's the self-awareness gap, how do i know if i'm a self-aware person.

How to become more self-aware

Do you want to be happier, have more influence, be a better decision-maker, and be a more effective leader? Self-awareness, then, is the most important muscle you need to develop. It's what will keep you on target to be the best version of yourself and the best leader you can be.

The benefits of self-awareness are as varied as each individual, and examples include increased influence, greater perspective, and stronger relationships. Let's dig into what self-awareness is, definitions, and ways to develop it.

Self-awareness is defined as "conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires," according to Oxford Language.

Psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund proposed this definition:

"Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards. If you're highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values , and understand correctly how others perceive you."

Put simply, those who are highly self-aware can interpret their actions, feelings, and thoughts objectively. 

It’s a rare skill, as many of us spiral into emotion-driven interpretations of our circumstances. Developing self-awareness is important because it allows leaders to assess their growth and effectiveness and change course when necessary.

Types of self-awareness

There are two distinct kinds of self-awareness, public and private.

Public self-awareness: Being aware of how we can appear to others. Because of this consciousness, we are more likely to adhere to social norms and behave in ways that are socially acceptable.

While there are benefits to this type of awareness, there is also the danger of tipping into self-consciousness. Those who are especially high in this trait may spend too much time worrying about what others think of them. 

Private self-awareness: Being able to notice and reflect on one’s internal state. Those who have private self-awareness are introspective , approaching their feelings and reactions with curiosity.

For example, you may notice yourself tensing up as you are preparing for an important meeting. Noticing the physical sensations and correctly attributing them to your anxiety about the meeting would be an example of private self-awareness.

When self-awareness tips into self-consciousness, we are reluctant to share certain aspects of ourselves. We develop a persona that lacks authenticity.

The Eurich group has researched the nature of self-awareness. Their research indicates that when we look inward, we can clarify our values, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. We are able to recognize the effect that we have on others. Eurich's research finds that people with self-awareness are happier and have better relationships. They also experience a sense of personal and social control as well as higher job satisfaction.

When we look outward, we understand how people view us. People who are aware of how people see them are more likely to be empathetic to people with different perspectives. Leaders whose self-perception matches others' perceptions are more likely to empower, include, and recognize others.

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Thank you for your interest in BetterUp.

As we mentioned earlier, strengthening self-awareness has a variety of benefits. The specifics of each one depends on the individual.

Here are some examples of common benefits of self-awareness:

• It gives us the power to influence outcomes
• It helps us to become better decision-makers It gives us more self-confidence — so, as a result, we communicate with clarity and intention
• It allows us to understand things from multiple perspectives
• It frees us from our assumptions and biases
• It helps us build better relationships
• It gives us a  greater ability to regulate our emotions
• It decreases stress
• It makes us happier

Self-awareness is a staple in contemporary leadership jargon. Although many leaders will brag about how self-aware they are, only 10 to 15 percent of the population fit the criteria.

Many of us grew up with the message that you should not show your emotions, so we attempt to ignore or suppress them. With negative emotions, that doesn't go very well for us. We either internalize them (resulting in anger, resentment, depression, and resignation) or we externalize them and blame, discount, or bully others.

Lack of self-awareness can be a significant handicap in leadership. A study conducted by Adam D. Galinsky and colleagues at Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management found that often, as executives climb the corporate ladder, they become more self-assured and confident. On the downside, they tend to become more self-absorbed and less likely to consider the perspectives of others. 

In a separate study, Canadian researchers looked at brain activity in people who are in positions of power. They found physiological evidence to conclude that as power increases, the ability to empathize with others decreases. They become less able to consider the needs and perspectives of others. Fundamentally these leaders don't think they need to change and instead require a change from everyone else.

Don't despair if you don't make the 10-15 percent self-awareness cut. If you want to know how self-aware you are, the iNLP Center has 12 multiple-choice questions that will tell you the level of your self-awareness and what you can do to improve it. The assessment is research-based and developed by Mike Bundrant, a neuro-linguistic trainer and life coach. 

The Values in Action Inventory of Strengths (VIA-IS) is a great tool for you to use to identify your dominant strengths and is free on the VIA website. It measures your answers across six broad categories with a total of 24 strengths. Take the assessment, and you'll generate a report identifying your top 5 strengths and how to begin to optimize them.

How to become a more self-aware person

Envision yourself.

Visualize the best version of yourself. "Ideal selves reflect our hopes, dreams, aspirations, and speak to our skills, abilities, achievements, and accomplishments that we wish to attain.” (Higgins, 1987; Markus & Nurius, 1986.) As you lean into your strengths to become the better version of yourself, you can use this idealized self to keep moving in the right direction and not be distracted by setbacks and other obstacles.

Ask the “what” questions

At the core of self-awareness is the ability to self-reflect. However, the Eurich group contends that most people are going about reflection in the wrong way. The trouble is, we ask ourselves the wrong questions. In our attempt to resolve internal conflict , we ask, "Why?" Yet there’s no way to answer that question since we don’t have access to our unconscious. Instead, we make up answers that may not be accurate.

The danger of the "why" question is that it sends us down the rabbit hole of our negative thoughts . We focus on our weaknesses and insecurities. Consider Amy, a new junior executive who has difficulty speaking up at meetings. She may explain her experience to herself by thinking, "I don't speak up at meetings because I fall too low in the corporate food chain. No one's going to listen to me."

Asking the "what question" puts us into the objective and open space of considering all the factors influencing a particular outcome. For example, instead of “Why don't I speak up at meetings?” we could ask: 

• "What were the interpersonal dynamics in the room?" 
• "What was I experiencing in my body at the time?" 
• "What happened that caused me to go into my old story of not being good enough?” 
• “What can I do to overcome my fear of speaking up?" 

This kind of introspection allows us to look at behaviors and beliefs for what they are. With self-awareness, we can examine old patterns and stories that do not serve us, and then we can move on. Asking the right questions empowers us to make different choices that bring different results.

Amy decides to make a plan because now she understands that she has a chance at overcoming her problem. 

• She's going to find out more about the content and goals of an upcoming meeting to become more confident in how she can contribute. 
• Rather than being consumed by imagining what others are thinking about her, she'll actively listen for cues to ask meaningful questions that move the conversation forward. 
• With a heightened awareness of the cues her body is giving her signaling fear and anxiety , she’ll name the emotion at the moment and choose not to be overwhelmed by it — one giant step to self-awareness.

Strengthen your brain

The amygdala, also called the primitive brain, was the first part of the brain to develop in humans. It functioned as a kind of radar signaling the need to run away or fight back. That part of the brain is skilled at anticipating danger and reacts before we can even name a negative emotion. Our heart races, our stomach tightens, and our neck muscles tense up. 

Your body's reaction is a tripwire signaling the pre-frontal cortex to register or name a negative emotion. If you bring awareness to your physical state, you can, at the moment, recognize the emotion as it is happening. Becoming skillful at this rewires your brain. 

Naming your feelings is critical in decision-making. When we let our feelings overwhelm us, we can make bad decisions with unintended consequences. Naming your emotions allows us to take a "third-person" perspective to stand back and more objectively evaluate what's going on.

Let's bring this home with an example. You, a self-aware person, are having a conversation with someone and receiving some negative feedback. Your heart starts to race, and you're feeling threatened. You say to yourself, "I feel like this person is attacking me." But, before you cry or go ballistic, you stop yourself and hear the person out. You discover that this person had at least one good point and start up a different conversation, one that is mutually satisfying and productive.

Ask others about their perception of you

Now that you've discovered that feedback doesn't have to be scary , ask other people how they perceive you in certain situations. Getting specific will help to give you the most concrete feedback. Get brave and ask them how they would like to see you behave.

Exercise: Pick out a scenario(s) you would like to receive feedback on and list them.

Make two columns.  

Column A: How I see myself

Column B: How others see me

In Column A make a list of words to describe your attitude and behaviors at the time.

Then, ask your feedback partner to do the same and record those responses in Column B.

Look out for discrepancies. You may have some blind spots that need attending.

Keep a journal

Journalling is a great way to pay attention to what's going on in your private and public self. It will also help you to recognize patterns that either serve you or not. You may use these prompts:

• What did I do well today?
• What challenges did I face?
• What was I feeling?
• How did I respond? In retrospect, would I have responded differently?
• What strengths did I use to keep me focused on the best version of myself?
• What is my intention for tomorrow?

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice . It helps you be aware of what's going on in your mind, body, and environment. Meditation is one of a few practices that you can insert into your daily life, and practicing mindfulness is a wonderful tool for developing greater self-control.

Here are some ideas of mindfulness activities to get you started:

• Practice deep breathing
• Name you surroundings
• Organize your space
• Draw or paint

The road to self-awareness is a journey. The most self-aware people see themselves on a quest to mastery rather than at a particular destination. As you move forward in developing your self-awareness, ask yourself regularly, “How will you move toward the best version of yourself today?”

Enhance your self-awareness

Discover how personalized coaching can help you align your actions with your deepest values and goals.

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

Change your relationship with change: Get comfortable being uncomfortable

Seeing my divorce as a catalyst for positive change, 5 self-actualization examples: unlock maslow’s hierarchy of needs, 17 self-awareness activities for exploring yourself, get to know yourself through the act of self-reflection, understanding and unlocking your human potential, what are green flags in relationships and how can you identify them, what self-love truly means and ways to cultivate it, self-advocacy: improve your life by speaking up, similar articles, from self-awareness to self-control: a powerful leadership technique, how to develop emotional regulation skills to become a better manager, self-awareness in leadership: how it will make you a better boss, the self presentation theory and how to present your best self, the path to self-acceptance, paved through daily practice, self-knowledge examples that will help you upgrade to you 2.0, why self-management is key to success and how to improve yours, self-management skills for a messy world, stay connected with betterup, get our newsletter, event invites, plus product insights and research..

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Building Self-Awareness

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Leverage our Building Self-Awareness PPT template to illustrate a comprehensive guide, including the techniques and exercises, for becoming more self-aware. Human behavior experts and industrial trainers can leverage this set to explain how the ability to monitor their own emotions and reactions helps leaders improve their managerial and decision-making skills. Using striking visuals, you can also discuss the positive impact of self-aware leaders on the business’s growth.

This template features visually interesting designs and attractive graphics. Using it, you can facilitate an easy understanding of the presented information among the audience and deliver insightful and meaningful presentations in minutes. So, download it right away!

Highlights of PowerPoint Slides

• Using an infographic depicting a few circles, you can demonstrate how to build self-awareness.
• You can use a 2*2 matrix infographic to display four areas of self-awareness.
• Three overlapping circular illustrations present the process for building self-awareness.
• The three keys to building self-awareness are portrayed through a semicircle diagram.

Quality Features

• The users don’t require prior editing experience or external support to mold the deck attributes as per their preferences.
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• Each visual element has been extensively researched to avoid copyright breach incidents.

Download this well-crafted PPT now to win over the audience!

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13 Self-Awareness Examples You See Throughout Life

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When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror?  

Recently, my family and I were at a local fun fair, and we happened to walk past the funny mirrors. You know the ones that distort your reflection and make you really tall, extra wide, or all bent and upside-down looking. I was struck by how clumsy we all look , and it was one of the few self awareness examples that really made sense to me. 

We are often not aware of how our reflections, or the imprint of us, are twisted by the world around us. To really control your reflection or self, you need to be really aware and connected to yourself, your world, and the people around you. 

But exactly what is self awareness and how do you use it to live a fuller life that is authentic to who you are? Let’s find out.

Table of Contents

What Is Self Awareness? 

To be self aware means you are fully aware of your character , what your motivations are, your desires, and how you are feeling in each moment. It’s quite a mouthful, but the simple truth is that self awareness is about knowing yourself and what you feel, think, experience, and are worthy of. 

Self awareness is the catalyst for change , and if you can’t see yourself in the mirror of life , you will never be able to straighten out your own reflection—you will keep on being bent and twisted by the world around you. 

Why Is Being Self Aware Important? 

Being self aware is the key to initiating change . When I was standing at the funny mirrors, I could decide to step out of the reflection area of one mirror into the next if I didn’t like the reflection I was seeing. But, I had to see myself before I could take action and choose what I wanted.

Without self awareness , you are sailing blindly through life, not choosing, merely falling downhill.  

Your self awareness is a bit like the onboard computer of your car—it helps you diagnose when your engine or existence is no longer idling authentically. Instead of purring through life, you are spluttering, and you don’t even know it. 

If you don’t check yourself and reclaim self awareness, you will keep struggling needlessly through life. You have the power to find your authentic self and take the necessary steps to protect your self awareness. 

Self awareness identifies where there are problems in your life . With self awareness examples, you can learn how to live your best life. 

13 Self Awareness Examples 

There are several ways in which you can practice and increase self awareness . Examples of self awareness include:  

1. Growth Mindset

Being self aware means you can see where you are not a fully grown person yet. With self awareness, you begin to see how many aspects of your life work together, and you are then better able to grow these.  

Having a growth mindset is vital for self awareness to really pay dividends on your life journey. Your self awareness allows you to use growth ideas in your own life. Like a gardener who knows which soil is right for a particular plant, you need to be self aware so you will know what growth ideals (plants) will work in your life (garden).

Action: To develop a growth mindset , you need to fully explore your life . Use and develop your self awareness by reflecting on what part of your life is still underdeveloped . Next, select a “plant” that you can cultivate here. If you are lonely, you can choose to join clubs or interest groups to meet new people.  Of course, you need to be self aware and practice self-reflection to really see where you are lacking and not just go through life in sulk mode.  

2. Discover Your Habits 

Do you do things without even knowing you do? We all do—this is called using a habit . This is great news if you don’t want to concentrate on a mundane task, like making coffee or vacuuming; but, it’s not so great if your habits are destructive or harmful to yourself or others.

When you are aware of the things you do without thinking, you are better able to own these habits , examine them, keep the good ones, and get rid of the bad ones. But how do you see a habit you don’t even know is there? You become more mindful .

Start practicing mindfulness activities like meditation , breathing , and yoga . By becoming more self aware and mindful of the things you do without thinking. Knowing what you do (especially when you don’t normally pay attention) will help you become more aware of who you are and what you do. 

Action: Begin with some mindful breathing exercises each morning, and notice how you feel with each breath. Next, pay attention to what you are doing at each moment. It may be a simple awareness that you raise your head when you breathe in or you can discover a more profound habit that you didn’t know about like blinking repeatedly when someone makes you nervous.   Write down each of the habits you discover and state whether they are good or bad or neutral. Some habits are driven by anxiety and can become destructive so you need to be aware of these, identify them, and then work on changing them.

3. Create Boundaries

We may be taught that boundaries are a bad thing, but in your own life, setting up some barriers that keep things or people in or out can make or break you. The concept of a boundary may be quite simple, but it’s the application or stepping up to defend that boundary when it’s being threatened that indicates real self awareness. 

If you have a boundary in place to keep strangers out of your physical and mental space, you need to police that boundary or it is meaningless (and worthless to your development). But the best way to enforce a boundary is to warn someone off before they cross the line. 

To do this, you need an early warning system that will sound the alarm and let you know you need to act. Your self awareness is that alarm system . 

Action: Think about the boundaries you have in your life (and the ones you need in your life). Write them down, if that helps. How would you take action to defend that boundary if it is being threatened? Write down the appropriate response that makes sense to you.  This is also a great exercise in discovering how indoctrinated you are by societal norms . Don’t let a valuable boundary go or hang back on acting when that boundary is crossed simply because of the notion of being polite or what’s accepted. Your boundaries, your rules.  

4. Your Thoughts Become Actions

It may seem like such an obvious example of self awareness, but knowing and practicing the idea of your thoughts becoming actions is easier said than done. What you think has power, especially if you are aware of those thoughts.

However, the thoughts you aren’t aware of can be even more damaging if you don’t practice your self awareness and develop a deeper sense of awareness for your mind. 

When you know your thoughts, you can take steps to help good ideas manifest and prevent poor ideas from ruining your life. Self awareness gives you the wisdom to know which thoughts are good and which are bad.

Action: When you are alone, start thinking out loud . Narrate your life, paying attention to the words that tumble from your mouth. What you say is what you’ve been thinking . The way you say things is also very revealing of your mental state .  When you are self aware, you will pick up on a negative “tone” of thoughts , and you will be better able to take action to remedy whatever is going on. If your thoughts go unnoticed , you may steer off a mental cliff without heeding the warning.

5. Discover Your Triggers

We all have triggers —emotional fuses that quickly trip when we find ourselves in a situation that we can’t accept. The result of a trigger being set off is that you may become quite irrational and act in a way that’s not in your best interest. 

The only way to head off a trigger is to see that it’s sending off warning signs. Being self aware is how you detect your emotional temperature and can sense a trigger is about to erupt. Knowing where your triggers are, what it takes to trip them, and being mindful of your response to a trigger situation can help you remain calm under pressure. 

A level-headed and calm individual is in touch with their triggers and they know what to do to remain calm and responsible. But how do you discover your triggers? It’s not like you can simply buy an instruction manual for your triggers.

Action: Reflection and introspection can build your self awareness. When you’ve come through a serious argument or challenging event, ask yourself what set you off . Try to think logically about the incident and look for evidence (not blame), so you can discover what makes you zing.  If you’re still stuck, you can ask a close friend if they’ve seen any triggers that they know sets you off. Once the triggers are identified, list the events or contributing factors that lead to the trigger snapping. Now plan what you’ll do next time the same set of events or incidents happen that triggered you. 

6. Ask Why 

Life is a mad rush , and most days you are probably barely keeping head above water with your career, social life, responsibilities, and more. The result is that you may have gone onto autopilot, and you may be stuck there . 

Instead of questioning your life and daily experiences and thoughts, you are simply soldiering on. You stopped asking why and simply accepted everything. When you no longer live your life with intent, resentment forms inside you due to a complete lack of self awareness. 

Start asking a very important question: why?  

When you begin to question life and what happens to and because of you, it will boost the development of your self awareness . Ask why you didn’t get a promotion at work. Ask why you are not unhappy to have missed out on the promotion (maybe you didn’t want it). Question life and how you should respond to it. 

Action: Remind yourself to ask why whenever you need to make a decision or take an action. Give yourself thinking time by waiting three seconds before you answer or do something. Those precious three seconds will give you enough time for your brain to kick into self awareness mode and reflect on the “why” before you do something simply to please others. 

7. Adjust Your Inner Child

Many of us didn’t have the most appropriate or perfect childhoods . As a result, we struggle with issues that affect our inner child or our sense of innocence and trust . When you go through life as an adult denying the injuries their inner child suffered , you will always battle a feeling of not being authentic and not being accepted for who you truly are. 

Self awareness helps you develop a clearer understanding of your inner child’s needs. When your inner child has adjusted to who you are now as an adult , you become more empowered to succeed. When you don’t take ownership of yourself and your subconscious self (your inner child), you will always feel like you are hiding behind a mask. 

Action: Create a safe space for your inner child to come out and feel welcomed. Your self awareness can help you communicate with your inner child and learn about yourself, acknowledging the parts of yourself you had previously ignored.  Take your inner child on a date, explore creativity, and dream about your childhood, seeing it in a rainbow hue where change is always possible .  

8. Embrace Empathy

A huge example of self awareness that we all need to develop is the ability to be empathetic to others. We can only see others authentically and have empathy with their lives when we can see ourselves clearly. 

Self awareness can create an example of living by letting you see yourself, accept yourself for who you are, and show empathy to yourself. When you see and feel yourself, you can show empathy and understanding with others. 

Action: Have a mirror conversation. Sit by a mirror, staring deeply into your own eyes. Wait patiently as your mind connects to your self awareness and your inner child. When you doubt yourself, share comfort. And when you feel foolish, assure yourself you are valued and looking at yourself in the mirror isn’t a waste of time.  Finally, share empathy with yourself. Accept your pain, experiences, and feelings. 

9. Let Go of Past Experiences and Work on Facts

If you’ve failed in the past, you know that experience can make you hide from opportunity . You doubt your abilities because the past was a flop. However, you can also live with hope and push harder for future success. 

Your self awareness is vital to letting go of a negative expectation that came from a past failure and instead focusing on who you are now and what you can do now. Knowing yourself is vital to letting go of the past and focusing on what is (not what was). 

Action: Make a list of all the past successes you’ve had. Add big or small successes, such as when you won the coloring competition at school or when you successfully changed a flat tire on your own. This is you in all the glorious ups and downs . Even mistakes were learning opportunities .  Draw the successes and failures into your awareness. Now list the current tasks and events. How will you succeed? What will you do if you fail? Self awareness guides you like a kind teacher, so listen. 

10. Ask others how they see you

We are naturally biased in favor of ourselves. We tend to believe we are good, kind, loving, or, sometimes, perfect humans. We really don’t like it when someone makes negative comments about  our personalities  and behaviors.

For instance, you may feel offended if people in your social circle say you’re arrogant, selfish, self-absorbed, abrasive, or withdrawn. Getting upset is easy if  how others see you contradict how you see yourself .

As part of increasing self-awareness, you must find out how the world sees you. Here’s what to do. Ask your friends and family members to provide honest and unbiased feedback about your personality.

Do so with an open mind and be prepared to hear positive and unflattering opinions. The feedback will help give you a more accurate image of yourself.

Getting a third-party view of yourself  helps you to be mindful of how you interact with and treat others . You may be encouraged to adjust behavior that causes conflict or prevents you from building healthy relationships. If you’re seen as a  people-pleaser , then changing that trait could prevent people from taking advantage of you.

11. Keep checking in with yourself

We experience a variety of emotions on a daily basis depending on what’s going on in our environment. Those emotions such as happiness, anger, sadness, guilt, and embarrassment often influence our behavior within ourselves and around others.

Checking in with yourself throughout the day is  one way to be mindful of the emotions you’re experiencing . Ask yourself,  ‘How am I feeling right now?”  Own the feeling instead of trying to bury or push it away. If you’re sad, say,  “I feel sad.”  Next, search your mind to figure out what’s triggering the feeling.

After identifying the trigger, brainstorm what you can do to improve your mood. The remedy might be a walk outdoors,  meditating , journaling, or listening to healing music.

Being in touch with your feelings can also  serve as a guide  on when  to do  or  not do something . Maybe you are scheduled to meet your friend but you’re not feeling enthusiastic about going. It’s okay to reschedule rather than to go and feel miserable throughout the activity.

12. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses

As you continue to discover yourself, take note of your strengths and weaknesses. These include employment skills and personal strengths, such as an ability to influence others. Maybe you’re creative, reliable, punctual, determined, a good listener, or a problem-solver.

Getting to know yourself in these areas  helps you better understand your capabilities and your limitations . The information can guide you in making good decisions or asking for help in situations that are beyond you. You’ll learn where you need to improve, grow to appreciate yourself more, and even feel a lot more confident.

Here’s a helpful exercise. Consider writing down/listing your strengths and weaknesses in a  bullet journal . Later, you can itemize thoughts, emotions, or events that cause you to give in to your weaknesses. Reflect on what you wrote and determine how you can overcome them.

Another exercise is figuring out how to harness or use your strengths in ways that don’t leave you at a disadvantage. For example, being a detail-oriented person  (employment strength)  could result in submitting projects late  (a disadvantage) .

13. Trust your intuition

Each of us has intuitive abilities or an ability   to know, understand, or discern something  without stopping to reason or having any direct evidence .

It’s almost near psychic as it extends past the rational mind and into areas of sensing and feeling.  People with high empathy , or empaths, appear to know things intuitively such as when someone is confused, upset, or hurt.

Some people trust their intuition or ‘ gut instinct’  to make decisions or decide how to interact with the world more than others do. Those decisions may go against rational or logical thinking.

How often do you rely on your natural ability to figure something out or know what’s about to happen? Do you often dismiss intuitive thoughts or revelations as nonsense? To be in tune with your intuition as you increase  internal self-awareness , start paying attention to the  information coming from your five senses .

What does it tell you to do? As long as it is safe to do, test your hunches and see if your intuition was spot on. Beyond that, embracing and trusting your intuition can  keep you out of harm’s  way or  align you with positive outcomes .

Final Thoughts on Self Awareness Examples 

There are many examples of self awareness that we can discover every day if we are just willing to open our eyes and look. For me, the revelation that I could move out of situations that made me feel strange happened when I looked at my twisted reflection in the fun fair’s mirrors. 

You can literally look at your reflection , see your life laid bare and choose to embrace self awareness… using this almost naked experience to learn and grow. Being self aware is the first step in the journey to being resilient, confident, and successful.  Part of your self awareness journey can include taking a personality test .

You may be surprised at what you discover! You can also read up on apps for mental health , which can be a tremendously helpful tool as well to help keep you centered and focused.

And if you're looking for more resources on self-awareness, be sure to check out these blog posts:

• 15 Signs Someone Has a Lack of Self-Awareness
• 11 Steps to Be More Self-Aware Throughout Your Life
• 12 Self-Awareness Activities for Kids & Young Students

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Self Awareness PowerPoint PPT Presentations

20+ Self Introduction PowerPoint Templates: Download for free!

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Here, you'll find some creative Self-Introduction PowerPoint Templates that are going to elevate your slides to the next level. Our expert team has designed different layouts that you will surely love and save you a lot of time. 

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Introducing Yourself PowerPoint Templates

Introducing yourself is vital to generate a connection with your audience . In fact, it showcases your background and abilities, making sure you are the person they seek. 

That being said, let's have a look at the Self-Introduction PowerPoint Templates that we prepared for you and will optimize your creative process:

1. About Me PowerPoint Template

These self-introduction PowerPoint templates are perfect for anyone trying to convey sobriety and professionalism. 

The pack offers different layouts, which you can use to engage your audience and showcase your work experience. 

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This template is another great option for introducing yourself through a PowerPoint presentation. 

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This template is focused on Personal Branding, but you can use the graphics to organize your "About me" presentation in PowerPoint.

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Introducing your team becomes crucial when you want to attract new clients or investors to your business. It will spotlight your team's capabilities, convincing your audience that you can solve their problems. 

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These designs were created for film teams but can be adapted to any field!

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11. Storyboard Artist PowerPoint Template

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Initially, this template is black and white, but you can edit the colors freely.

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Found this content interesting? You'll love what's next: 

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Emotional Self-Awareness

Jan 04, 2020

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Emotional Self-Awareness. The ability to recognize and understand one’s feelings and emotions, differentiate between them, know what caused them and why. Assertiveness. The ability to express feelings, beliefs, and thoughts and defend one’s rights in a nondestructive way. Self-Regard.

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• demonstrate oneself
• accept oneself
• enjoy oneself
• emotional dependency
• potentially effective solutions

Presentation Transcript

Emotional Self-Awareness The ability to recognize and understand one’s feelings and emotions, differentiate between them, know what caused them and why.

Assertiveness The ability to express feelings, beliefs, and thoughts and defend one’s rights in a nondestructive way.

Self-Regard The ability to look at and understand oneself, respect and accept oneself, accepting one’s perceived positive and negative aspects as well as one’s limitations and possibilities.

Self-Actualization The ability to realize one’s potential capacities and to strive to do that which one wants to do and enjoys doing.

Independence The ability to be self-reliant and self-directed in one’s thinking and actions and to be free of emotional dependency; these people may ask for and consider the advice of others, but they rarely depend on others to make important decisions or do things for them.

Interpersonal Relationship The ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection.

Empathy The ability to be attentive to, to understand, and to appreciate the feelings of others…it is being able to “emotionally read” other people.

Social Responsibility The ability to demonstrate oneself as a cooperative, contributing, and constructive member of one’s social group.

Problem Solving The ability to identify and define problems as well as to generate and implement potentially effective solutions.

Reality Testing The ability to assess the correspondence between what is experienced (the subjective) and what in reality exists (the objective).

Flexibility The ability to adjust one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior to changing situations and conditions.

Stress Tolerance The ability to withstand adverse events and stressful situations without falling apart by actively and confidently coping with stress.

Impulse Control The ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive, or temptation to act.

Happiness The ability to feel satisfied with one’s life, to enjoy oneself and others, and to have fun.

Optimism The ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity.

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The Importance of Awareness, Acceptance, and Alignment With the Self: A Framework for Understanding Self-Connection

Kristine klussman.

1 Connection Lab, San Francisco, CA, USA

Nicola Curtin

Julia langer, austin lee nichols.

We provide a theoretical framework for what it means to be self-connected and propose that self-connection is an important potential contributor to a person’s well-being. We define self-connection as consisting of three components: 1) an awareness of oneself, 2) an acceptance of oneself based on this awareness, and 3) an alignment of one’s behavior with this awareness. First, we position the concept within the broader self literature and provide the empirical context for our proposed definition of self-connection. We next compare and contrast self-connection to related constructs, including mindfulness and authenticity. Following, we discuss some of the potential relationships between self-connection and various aspects of mental health and well-being. Finally, we provide initial recommendations for future research, including potential ways to promote self-connection. In all, we present this theory to provide researchers with a framework for understanding self-connection so that they can utilize this concept to better support the efforts of researchers and practitioners alike to increase individuals’ well-being in various contexts.

In recent years, there has been growing interest in understanding the factors that contribute to people experiencing meaningful and happy lives (e.g., Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, & Schkade, 2005 ; Seligman, 2002 , 2008 ; Veenhoven, 2003 ). Results suggest that a fulfilling life includes a sense of meaning ( Steger, 2009 ), strong interpersonal relationships ( Myers, 2000 ), and the pursuit and attainment of personal goals ( Emmons, 2003 ). In addition, there is a long-standing belief that happiness is the result of identifying one’s strengths and virtues and living a life that cultivates and reflects them ( Aristotle, 2002 ).

In our research lab, we consider how people build lives characterized by deep connection to self and others and the importance of these efforts for health and well-being. People often understand, and empirical research supports, the importance of establishing close relationships and building social networks ( Cohen, 2004 ; Helliwell & Putnam, 2004 ; Holt-Lunstad & Smith, 2012 ; Lakey & Cronin, 2008 ; Lakey, Vander Molen, Fles, & Andrews, 2016 ). In contrast, although “knowing oneself” has long been of philosophical and psychological interest, sparse research has investigated what self-connection is and what it means to people’s health and well-being. In this paper, we will 1) provide an overview of the definition of self-connection and its three components, 2) discuss the potential well-being increases that result from self-connection, and 3) present some initial thoughts on the fruitful directions that future investigations of self-connection might pursue.

Understanding the Self in Self-Connection

The first, and possibly most important, aspect of self-connection is that it refers to the self. As such, it is useful to clarify our intended use and context of the term “self.” Social psychological theories generally highlight that people form and maintain self-concepts (i.e., ideas about who they are as distinct entities). Self-concepts help individuals to organize information extracted from momentary experiences. Select information is attended to as self-relevant, often information related to autobiographical memories and motivations, and is mentally processed in ways that can yield a sense of more enduring (though still malleable) personal characteristics and social roles ( Markus, 1977 ; Oyserman, 2001 ). For example, if one currently feels compelled to comfort a distressed acquaintance and recalls multiple instances of feeling concerned for friends, the person’s self-concept might include “caring” or “a supportive friend.” Of note, one may hold multiple overlapping self-concepts (e.g., public and private selves; see Baumeister, 2012 ) and multi-faceted self-concepts (e.g., situationally contingent or flexible aspects of the self; see Paulhus & Martin, 1988 ). Within these self-concepts, people often have a sense of what they regard as their true self, in terms of what is most essential about them or most personally endorsed ( Rogers, 1959 ; Schlegel & Hicks, 2011 ). This perceived true self is important for our definition of self-connection.

Both the perceived true self and potentially broader self-concepts are formed and maintained by selectively attending to, interpreting, and remembering aspects of momentary experiences (see Oyserman, 2001 ). In turn, maintaining one’s self-concept can sometimes detract from individual and social well-being, such as when individuals become preoccupied in primarily negative self-related thoughts ( Lyubomirsky & Nolen-Hoeksema, 1993 ; Nolen-Hoeksema, 2000 ) or react defensively toward others ( Crocker & Park, 2004 ; Greenberg, Solomon, & Pyszczynski, 1997 ). To avoid such undesirable efforts of self-concept maintenance, some research has explored meta-cognitively distancing (e.g., “disidentifying”) from self-related thinking during momentary experiences ( Bernstein et al., 2015 ; Fresco et al., 2007 ; also see Brewer, Garrison, & Whitfield-Gabrieli, 2013 ). Although these approaches may be useful in some instances, they risk throwing out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak, since engaging with the self can be beneficial when it helps people find meaning and purpose in life ( Schlegel & Hicks, 2011 ; Schlegel, Hicks, King, & Arndt, 2011 ). This then raises the question of if that upside can be maximized while minimizing potential pitfalls. Within that context, this paper presents the concept of self-connection as a way of relating to the self that supports individual and social well-being.

Defining Self-Connection

In addition to its focus on the self, self-connection inherently involves a sense of connection. In our conceptualization, that sense of connection uniquely relates to the perceived self. More specifically, it refers to the presence of and relationship between three capacities—awareness of, acceptance of, and behavioral alignment with oneself. Consequently, we define self-connection as a subjective experience consisting of three components: 1) an awareness of oneself, 2) an acceptance of oneself based on this awareness, and 3) an alignment of one’s behaviors with this awareness. We posit that the three components are interrelated in a non-hierarchical structure and contribute synergistically to experiencing self-connection. As such, an individual who is lacking in any of the three components would experience less overall self-connection.

Awareness of Oneself

The first component of self-connection, self-awareness, is defined as knowing one’s internal states, preference, resources, and intuitions ( Goleman, 2006 ). As part of their self-concepts, many people believe that they have an essential, internal, and private self, capable of being truly or fully known only to them ( Rogers, 1959 ; Schlegel & Hicks, 2011 ). This perceived self may be more endorsed or important than other aspects of one’s self-concept. People may see this self as immutable, but some psychological perspectives, such as Self-Determination Theory (SDT; Deci & Ryan, 1980 , 1985 ), posit that the self need not be unchangeable but rather be determined and meaningful to the individual ( Schlegel & Hicks, 2011 ). As such, we are not arguing that there is one, “real” internal self ( Darley & Fazio, 1980 ; Murray, Holmes, & Griffen, 1996 ). Instead, we contend it is people’s perceived understanding of aspects of their self-concepts resembling a self (e.g., important values) that is relevant to experiencing self-connection.

Also informing our conceptualization of the awareness component of self-connection is the construct of mindfulness. One central feature of mindfulness is an awareness of and attention to one’s current experiences, from moment to moment ( Bishop et al., 2004 ; Brown & Ryan, 2003 ; Kabat-Zinn, 1990 ). Part of mindfulness is observing or noting sensations, thoughts, and emotions as they occur, bringing them into awareness and potentially greater clarity ( Brown, Ryan, & Creswell, 2007 ; Mikulas, 2011 ). Similarly, the awareness component of self-connection notices self-relevant aspects of experiences, potentially providing more attention to, and clarity on, those that pertain to oneself.

Acceptance of Oneself

The second part of the definition of self-connection is self-acceptance and can be defined as a complete acceptance of one’s internal states, preference, resources, and intuitions. Acceptance involves receptivity and openness to oneself, rather than avoidance and denial. We assert that acceptance of the perceived self is a key component of self-connection and can also best be understood within the psychological literature on mindfulness. A second, integral quality of mindfulness, in addition to present-moment awareness, is an accepting stance toward experiences (see Kabat-Zinn, 1990 ; Lindsay & Creswell, 2017 ). Acceptance in mindfulness involves receptively meeting one’s experiences as they are, without trying to alter them. Self-connection consists of a similar acceptance, yet this acceptance is oriented more toward the self. When self-relevant experiences and characteristics come into awareness, they are allowed as “this feels like part of me” and not automatically judged as good or bad. In this way, the acceptance component of self-connection is not about liking or esteeming oneself (or how likable the self is to others), as some other conceptualizations of self-acceptance include (e.g., Ryff & Keyes, 1995 ). Instead, the focus is on a willingness to acknowledge one’s feelings, values, and other aspects of the self and truly accepting oneself.

Alignment With Oneself

The third part of our definition involves drawing on one’s awareness and acceptance of the perceived self when making behavioral decisions. This self-alignment can be defined as behaving in ways that are consistent with one’s internal states, preference, resources, and intuitions. Specifically, self-connection involves acting in alignment (component three) with one’s awareness of the self (component one) by using one’s acceptance of this awareness (component two) to facilitate behaviors that align with the perceived self. This component of self-connection is similar to conceptualizations of self-determined decisions in Self-Determination Theory ( Deci & Ryan, 1980 , 1985 ) as well as authentic behavior ( Kernis & Goldman, 2006 ; Wood, Linley, Maltby, Baliousis, & Joseph, 2008 ). That is, behavioral alignment involves deciding to act in ways that authentically reflect the perceived self. Awareness and acceptance of the perceived self theoretically should facilitate aligned behavioral decisions, and behavioral experiences may also help individuals to become more aware of what they perceive as their self and/or accept that self. Developing concordance between behavior, self-awareness, and self-acceptance is critical to a lived experience of self-connection.

Limitations of Similar Concepts

Self-connection versus authenticity.

In part, the proposed definition of self-connection shares some relation with concepts of authenticity ( Kernis & Goldman, 2006 ; Wood et al., 2008 ) but can also be distinguished from them. In their development of a measure of dispositional authenticity, Wood and colleagues (2008) argued that authenticity primarily includes authentic living—the degree to which a person’s behavior matches their self. This most strongly maps onto the self-alignment component of self-connection, but is only one of three necessary components of self-connection. Other conceptualizations or operationalizations of authenticity also may include some form of awareness or acceptance (see Kernis & Goldman, 2006 ). These differ from how we conceptualize awareness and acceptance in self-connection. First, self-connection is inherently relational within one’s own experience: It is about experiencing a sense of linkage with oneself. That is, awareness and acceptance are essentially a way of relating to one’s self-relevant mental processing and tuning into oneself. In contrast, conceptualizations of awareness and acceptance in authenticity tend to imply that one exists in an experience of the self and are more focused on avoiding self-deception and contending with external influences and judgments, respectively ( Kernis & Goldman, 2006 ). Authenticity may also be affected by judgments of “good” and “bad” whereas these are not relevant to self-connection. Likewise, we assert that the nonjudgmental conceptualization of acceptance proposed as part of self-connection may have added value in enhancing one's ability to act in alignment with oneself.

Self-Connection Versus Mindfulness

The proposed definition of self-connection bears resemblance to mindfulness but also contains aspects that distinguish the two concepts. Awareness and a lack of judgement are two defining, synergistic components of mindfulness (see Lindsay & Creswell, 2017 ). However, most scientific definitions of mindfulness do not include alignment of behavior with the perceived self (the third component of self-connection). When intentional behavior is considered, it is usually as a correlate or consequence of mindfulness (e.g., Chatzisarantis & Hagger, 2007 ). Moreover, mindfulness itself does not specifically concern or reference the self, as self-connection does. In fact, substantial mindfulness-related theory and research addressing the self treats it as something to distance oneself from or to transcend (see Bernstein et al., 2015 ). A growing literature does address mindful self-compassion, but this concept only concerns handling difficult experiences and includes identifying less with them ( Neff, 2003 ). Altogether, we propose that mindfulness concerns itself with broader awareness and acceptance of experience and thus may be helpful for, but is not synonymous with, experiencing self-connection. The concept of self-connection goes beyond mindfulness and self-compassion in that it draws on components of mindfulness—awareness and acceptance—along with behavioral alignment to facilitate experiences of connection to the perceived self.

Is Self-Connection a State or Trait?

At a basic level , self-connection could be thought of as both a state and an individual difference characteristic (similar to a trait). That is, it is possible to temporarily experience a state of greater self-connection. Additionally, repeatedly experiencing states of increased self-connection may promote its ease and frequency throughout life. Likewise, individuals may differ in the extent to which they generally tend toward experiencing self-connection. Whether this would be considered a trait-level difference might vary with different models of personality. We discuss one such framework next.

Within the context of McAdams and Pals’ (2006) holistic model of personality, self-connection can be understood as a characteristic adaptation—more individualized and, possibly, more malleable across situations and time than a basic trait. In this model, self-connection may be a third- and/or fourth-level characteristic adaptation. Third-level characteristic adaptations are not simply basic traits and instead include “aspects of human individuality that speak to motivational, social-cognitive, and developmental concerns” (p. 208). Awareness of the perceived true self can be developed, and one may choose to accept it and act accordingly or not — these are individual motivational, social-cognitive, and developmental concerns akin to third-level characteristic adaptations. For example, as one might develop a commitment to environmental conservation (itself a characteristic adaptation), one might simultaneously develop awareness and acceptance of that value and act in a manner consistent with it.

The fourth level of McAdams and Pals’ (2006) model refers to the more malleable aspects of characteristic adaptations that are subject to change based on context or experience. Characteristic adaptations are more likely to change over time than traits as they are anchored in everyday situational and personality processes and dynamics. Awareness of, acceptance of, and alignment with a value may develop nuances as the value is experienced in more contexts—a fourth-level characteristic adaptation. As such, self-connection may contribute in significant ways to an individual's development across life domains. To the extent that people experience self-connection across life domains and throughout daily life, it would be more trait-like for an individual, even though any individual could also experience a temporary, heightened state of self-connection. As such, we view self-connection as something that can be treated and examined at both the state and trait level.

The Implications of Self-Connection for Well-Being

We propose that self-connection is a way of relating to the self that supports positive functioning and well-being. Specifically, experiencing connection to oneself should promote meaning and purpose in life and greater attainment of related goals. In terms of well-being assessment, this may also be reflected in greater life satisfaction (as in assessments of subjective well-being; Diener, 1984 ) and greater eudaimonic well-being at a personal level (as operationalized as either flourishing as in Keyes, 2002 , or psychological well-being as in Ryff, 1989 ). Self-connection may also conceivably enhance various aspects of social connection and social well-being. For example, one may be able to communicate preferences and values to others more clearly and support others in doing so. More self-connected individuals may also engage in more meaningful social activities due to acting in alignment with their values. For such reasons, connection with self and others may go hand-in-hand.

Theoretical and empirical literatures on related constructs provide indirect support for these propositions. The mindfulness literature suggests that awareness and acceptance are associated with greater well-being ( Lindsay & Creswell, 2017 ; McNall, Tombari, & Brown, 2019 ). More relevant to self-awareness specifically, Schlegel and colleagues assert that discovering and expressing the self is crucial to psychological health ( Schlegel, Hicks, Arndt, & King, 2009 ). Their research suggests that the feeling of knowing yourself predicts self-actualization, vitality, self-esteem, active coping, psychological need satisfaction, positive affect, and subjective well-being ( Schlegel, Vess, & Arndt, 2012 ). Schlegel and colleagues also assert that understanding the self allows one to interpret actions that are congruent with the self as valuable ( Schlegel & Hicks, 2011 ) and provide a sense of coherence ( Hicks, 2013 ).

Furthermore, beyond research on mindfulness (which is inherently accepting), some research also suggests that self-acceptance may play a role in well-being. Most relevant to self-connection is research that conceptualizes self-acceptance as unconditional and less evaluative, as compared to positive self-evaluations (e.g., Ryff & Keyes, 1995 ). Such research has found unique, positive associations between self-acceptance and overall mood as well as eudaimonic well-being ( Chamberlain & Haaga, 2001 ; MacInnes, 2006 ; Ranzijn & Luszcz, 1999 ).

Several research programs also provide evidence to support the argument that congruence between one’s implicit and/or internal goals and explicit behaviors is an important cornerstone of well-being ( Schultheiss & Brunstein, 1999 ; Schultheiss, Jones, Davis, & Kley, 2008 ; Sheldon, 2004 , 2014 ). For example, people who choose goals based on their own internal interests are more likely to achieve those goals ( Sheldon & Elliot, 1999 ; Sheldon & Houser-Marko, 2001 ) and show increased levels of happiness ( Sheldon & Elliot, 1998 ; Sheldon & Kasser, 1998 ). Bailis, Fleming, and Segall (2005) surveyed people when they first joined a gym and found that people who had self-concordant goals were more likely to be members of the gym 2 years later, were less likely to compare themselves to others, and were less negatively influenced by social comparisons. In their experimental study, Chatzisarantis, Hagger, and Wang (2010) found that their manipulation of self-concordant goal motivation and implementation intention resulted in the highest level of short-term adherence to taking daily multivitamins. Thus, research suggests pursuing goals that reflect one’s self results in greater long-term commitment to those goals, and possibly even greater satisfaction in the pursuit of them. Altogether, such existing literature suggests that constructs related or similar to the three components of self-connection support well-being. Therefore, it is reasonable to propose that the combination of the three components of self-connection may synergize to support well-being.

There also is some indirect evidence to support the idea that such benefits of self-connection may not carry risks of preoccupation in negative self-related thinking or defensive reactions, both of which may undermine individual and social well-being. For example, research on negative rumination has found that private self-reflection can be distinguished from maladaptive rumination ( Trapnell & Campbell, 1999 ), indicating that self-awareness is not inherently a rumination risk. Self-Affirmation Theory ( Aronson, Cohen, & Nail, 1999 ; Sherman & Cohen, 2006 ; Steele, 1988 ) has produced considerable evidence that reminders of broader valued aspects of the self (e.g., writing briefly about a core value after a threat to some other aspect of the self; reminders of other important goals when frustrated about a particular goal), can reduce both negative rumination ( Koole, Smeets, van Knippenberg, & Dijksterhuis, 1999 ) and defensive reactions ( Sherman & Cohen, 2006 ).

These findings are generally consistent with the idea that experiencing a sense of connection to aspects of oneself (e.g., values, important goals) may not carry risks of rumination or defensiveness. Further, the mechanisms underlying such effects are not clear empirically. Self-Affirmation Theory suggests that, after an aspect of the self has been threatened, reminders of other values restore a positive view of the self, reducing a need for rumination or defensiveness. We posit that it is also possible that reminders of values could operate through connecting to oneself with acceptance (rather than needing esteem or liking). This potential role of acceptance is supported by the empirical literature on mindfulness.

Mindfulness inherently involves acceptance and is associated with less maladaptive rumination and defensiveness. Many studies have found that trait mindfulness and mindfulness training are associated with less negative rumination and stress ( Gu, Strauss, Bond, & Cavanagh, 2015 ; Paul, Stanton, Greeson, Smoski, & Wang, 2012 ; Van der Velden et al., 2015 ). More mindful individuals also may show fewer defensive reactions to self-related threats. For example, in a series of studies on the role of mindfulness in responses to mortality threats (i.e., making thoughts of death salient, thus threatening people’s sense of self), more mindful individuals were less defensive in their responses. In all, evidence suggests that an accepting awareness may attenuate risks of rumination and defensiveness and thus indirectly supports our contention that self-connection may as well.

Future Research on Self-Connection

There are several promising directions that research on self-connection might take. We describe only a few of them below.

Operationalizing Self-Connection

The first requirement for researching self-connection is the development of a validated tool to measure it. Ideally, a measure would be able to assess overall self-connection as well as the individual components of self-connection: self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-alignment. As conceptualized, self-connection should be measured through a composite of items that measures all three components. Additionally, we need to ensure that the measure is reliable and valid, such as testing whether it relates to relevant variables as predicted and its incremental value beyond existing measures. Development of one such measure is underway in our lab.

The ability to experimentally increase self-connection also is needed to help reach causal conclusions about the effects of self-connection. Experimental manipulations could attempt to temporarily boost a state of self-connection or increase an individual’s overall tendency toward self-connection in daily life. The former might be accomplished with brief, one-time exercises and could potentially reveal immediate, albeit temporary, effects of heightened self-connection on state-dependent measures, including in certain contexts or domains. The latter, increasing individual differences in self-connection, may require more extended intervention, potentially with multiple exercises and/or covering multiple life domains. We describe some potential intervention ideas below.

Building the Nomological Network of Self-Connection

After we understand how to measure self-connection, research into the nomological network of self-connection needs to examine the ways in which self-connection may or may not relate to various aspects of both well-being and health. Such research could examine cross-sectional and prospective relationships between measured self-connection and meaning in life, aspects of individual and social well-being, and goal persistence and attainment. Intervention studies, especially randomized controlled trials, will provide evidence of directionality and potential causality.

Individual Differences Predicting Self-Connection

Correlational and prospective studies also should assess individual differences that may predict the self-awareness, self-acceptance, and/or the self-alignment components of self-connection and the overall representation of self-connection. Trait mindfulness is one variable noted previously. Self-concept clarity also has been associated with mindfulness and may characterize individuals higher in self-connection ( Hanley & Garland, 2017 ). Additionally, consistent with SDT and Sheldon’s (2004) argument that self-determination is vital for achieving an integrated self, Thrash and Elliot (2002) found that people high in self-determination also showed higher levels of congruence between implicitly and explicitly measured motives. Self-determination and implicit-explicit motivational concordance may also relate to self-connection. Other individual differences to examine might include basic personality traits, gender, cultural variables, age, ethnicity, and income.

Self-Connection and Meaning in Life

For many people, the search for profound self-understanding and a life built around it is an eternal, imperfect pursuit. As positive psychology has begun to offer many answers to the question of how to best promote and enhance well-being, research has turned to the concept of meaning in life ( Martela, Ryan, & Steger, 2018 ; Schlegel et al., 2011 ; Steger, 2009 ). We have posited that self-connection increases of a sense of meaning in life. Knowing about and accepting who one perceives one truly is should theoretically lead to an increase in a sense of coherence across one’s life and allow for actions that are in support of one’s values and goals or purpose. When people act in a way that is in alignment with their values and goals, their sense of significance may also increase. Thus, experimentally increasing self-connection should also increase one's sense of meaning in life, whether at a state or trait-like level.

Self-Connection and Broader Well-Being

As detailed above, self-connection may predict individual and social well-being at a dispositional level. Greater coherence, meaning, and social connection from self-connection may also contribute to more positive affect in daily life (see Fredrickson, 2013 ). These relations could be examined using longitudinal and brief intervention studies (e.g., Goodman, Kashdan, Mallard, & Schumann, 2014 ). Although such positive functioning is the primary hypothesized outcome of self-connection, greater self-connection may also be associated with fewer depression symptoms (given the roles of anhedonia and hopelessness in depression). Therefore, initial prospective studies should examine a range of potential mental health outcomes. As part of such research on self-connection and well-being, it also would be useful to examine whether high self-connection carries less risk of negative rumination and defensiveness than low self-connection or self-disconnection.

Self-Connection and Goal Striving

When people’s perceived selves include goals, self-connection may support self-regulation toward those goals. We propose that awareness and acceptance of such goals may foster greater goal clarity and accessibility, while behavioral alignment may promote follow through on intentions and persistence (cf. Mann, De Ridder, & Fujita, 2013 ). These hypothesized component processes and the role of overall self-connection in goal striving should be examined in future correlational and, ideally, experimental research. One domain in which the relation between self-connection and goal-related processes could be especially important to examine is health behavior. Not only is engaging in health-promoting behavior important for physical health, it could also be another way that self-connection supports overall well-being.

Promoting Self-Connection

Once we can measure self-connection and begin to understand how it relates to other constructs and aspects of life, self-connection has the potential to be an extremely useful tool for promoting positive life outcomes. To realize these benefits and study its effects using experimental designs, it will be important to examine how to promote self-connection. It is possible that several existing practices, either in isolation or in combination, may be useful for promoting self-connection by increasing self-awareness, self-acceptance, and/or self-alignment.

For example, we have proposed that mindfulness may facilitate the self-awareness and self-acceptance components of self-connection. Future research should examine whether and when mindfulness practices (formal mindfulness meditation or informal mindfulness in various domains of daily life) can lead to greater self-connection. It also would be interesting to consider the role that self-connection may play in the relationship between mindfulness and aspects of well-being.

Another promising way to promote self-connection may be journaling. Daily journals have been widely used across disciplines ( Hülsheger, Alberts, Feinholdt, & Lang, 2013 ; Hülsheger et al., 2014 ; Pennebaker, Mehl, & Niederhoffer, 2003 ; Pennebaker & Seagal, 2003 ) and can provide people the opportunity to become more aware of their internal thoughts and values. This, in turn, should provide a space to accept them and lead to an understanding of themselves to modify actions as needed. Repeated journaling could focus on different life domains to develop and apply self-connection across daily life. Thus, the act of journaling about self-connection may increase self-connection and the positive outcomes potentially associated with it.

Physical activity also may be a means for promoting self-connection. For one, it may help people tune into their sensations and feelings. When done repeatedly, it also may enhance self-connection through building confidence, independence, and/or positive body image to accept internal values and goals ( Kaufman, Glass, & Arnkoff, 2009 ; Lawlor & Hopker, 2001 ; Taylor, Sallis, & Needle, 1985 ). Additionally, physical activity in a non-competitive environment might be especially useful because it may allow people to practice being more accepting of themselves and acting accordingly. Finally, when combined with meditation, the effects of activity could be especially pronounced ( Edwards & Loprinzi, 2019 ).

Interventions aimed at increasing self-connection at more of a trait level, throughout daily life, might benefit from incorporating all the above activities with specific guidance aimed at connecting with oneself. Additional options for practices to increase self-connection are also possible and might even be useful in the workplace ( Lomas, Medina, Ivtzan, Rupprecht, & Eiroa-Orosa, 2018 ). As part of research on promoting self-connection, it also may be important to identify potential barriers (either internal or external) to self-connection and how certain practices or beliefs may help to overcome them. Finally, this all must be done in a way that considers the cultural influences in play ( Christopher & Hickinbottom, 2008 ).

Being self-connected requires one to be aware of the self, accept that self, and act in alignment with it. We argue that self-connection is important to obtaining greater well-being and believe that there currently is significant indirect evidence to support this claim. We detail our conceptualization of self-connection so that future research can test our propositions more directly. We are optimistic about future research to uncover practices, such as mindfulness and journaling, that promote self-connection. By understanding self-connection and finding ways to be more connected to oneself, we hope to help everyone pursue a life “well-lived.”

Acknowledgments

The authors have no additional (i.e., non-financial) support to report.

Biographies

Kristine Klussman is the founder of Connection Lab and its parent Purpose Project, a nonprofit aimed at helping people live more satisfying, meaningful lives. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Palo Alto University. In addition to overseeing Connection Lab research, she is a clinician, graduate university instructor, author, clinical supervisor and speaker.

Nicola Curtin was one of the founding members of Connection Lab, the research arm of the Purpose Project. She received her PhD in Personality and Social Contexts from the Department of Psychology at the University of Michigan.

Julia Langer is a Senior Research Associate at Connection Lab. She received her MHS in Public Mental Health from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and has focused her career on using mental health interventions to improve well-being.

Austin Lee Nichols is the former Director of Research at Connection Lab. He received his PhD in Social Psychology from the University of Florida. Prior to and after working at Connection Lab, he held various faculty positions around the world in both psychology and business.

The authors have no funding to report.

The authors have declared that no competing interests exist.

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Emotional Intelligence Subject for Pre-K: Self-Awareness

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