kindness of a stranger essay

“The Kindness of Strangers” by Ruben Martinez Essay

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Martinez is a Mexican-American who writes about the current national debate into immigration using the las posadas of Mexican tradition as a metaphor for those North Americans who “turn away” from their sense of humanity. As President Bush advocated the “guest worker” legislation over the Christmas period Martinez cleverly chose a parable that has deep meanings for both North Americans and Mexicans – the narrative of Mary and Joseph seeking refuge and being turned away on the night of Christ’s birth. The choice of parable is apt given the season and that both nations embrace Christianity as part of its social philosophy. A core principle of Christianity is compassion and being there for others.

Similarly to the experiences of Mary and Joseph so long ago, illegal immigrants in the USA are stereotyped as potential “thieves” and socially excluded from the mainstream community. Like many immigrants from Mexico, Mary and Joseph’s story has many present day parallels; not being welcomed by the wider community because of their poverty status (immigrants tend to live in rural areas or on the fringe of townships; Mary and Joseph were not able to find lodging in the town of Bethlehem); sub-standard housing (many immigrants are transient farmers living in make-shift shelters, vans or decrepit housing; Mary and Joseph were relocated to a stable); and poor sanitation and over-crowding (the norm for immigrants is to have extended family groups living together and western houses are not built for families beyond the norm of four to five; Mary and Joseph shared their accommodation with a myriad of barnyard animals).

Martinez also points to the irony of North Americans, most immigrants themselves (i.e., at least those not of Native American heritage) have such hostility toward immigrants. It is self-evident from historical records that North Americans have had a “contradictory relationship” with immigrants which have been ongoing since the colonial days. The USA may promote itself to be the “land of immigrants” with the Statue of Liberty as a shining reminder of what the rhetoric of residency means.

However, citizens continue, in general, to view social others from other nations seeking to immigrate as “them”. There is a dichotomy of social thought that promotes “liberty” (freedom, human rights, community relationships, family safety and personal achievement) on the one hand, and ethnic stereotyping, marginalization, social exclusion, social exploitation in the form of sweatshops and menial work, and media portrayals that are simplistic and aggressive. In the words of Martinez, “We are immigrants who despise immigrants”. It appears to Martinez that the concept of “erasing borders” (opening a door to a stranger) is one that most North Americans want to distance themselves from; which is demonstrated in an attitude that is inhospitable toward illegal immigrants.

Martinez use of the parable urges North Americans opposing equal opportunities and resources for illegal immigrants to consider their moral stance on “hospitality” and their conceptualization of reciprocity. Instead of interpreting the influx of immigrants as being “”thieves” intent on taking from us and giving nothing in return” (p. 1) to find one’s sense of humanity and aid those on their journey toward “a better life” (p. 2).

Ultimately, Martinez questions the logic of decisions such as that of voters in Arizona in November of 2007 who chose to deny public benefits to illegal immigrants when they passed Proposition 200. Basically, Martinez suggests that the North American public drop their paranoiac stance toward immigrants and see their presence as part of a “journey” which involves all people encountered through travels. The hand that is helped today may be the hand that is held out to one in time of need tomorrow.

I think Martinez is quite clever to identify the socio-cultural link to North American psyche by highlighting the analogy of Mary and Joseph’s experiences that night in Bethlehem with the current political debate on immigration which was occurring over the Christmas period. That’s serendipity. He delivers deep insight into the meaning of what it is to be human . Moreover, Martinez asks each North American to consider their moral duty in providing welfare and protection (hospitality) to those in need. The use of parables has been used since times of early civilizations to provide humans with guidelines as to how to live their lives.

We are social beings and as such reciprocity is essential to our existence. Humans survive because we help one another. Survival of the fittest is about social group strength, not individualistic goals grounded in competition. Instead, those of us in positions of power and advantage could look to the true purpose behind illegal immigrant migration into the USA; by what criteria do immigrants define “a better life”?

Personally, I find it highly unlikely that families living in poverty would, en masse, consider immigration from their home to another nation simply to steal and take what they can. Mexican illegal immigrants tend to be farmers and travel along the East Coast and Central territories. Farmers tend to be hard workers, particularly when there is a large family that must be fed and housed and kept in hiding from immigration officials.

People who are living a substance lifestyle are unlikely to take risks that expose them to the authorities and jeopardize the family’s ability to look after one another. More research into the perceptions and attitudes of immigrants would educate the general public as to immigrants’ dreams, aspirations, expectations and concepts of what they have to give and why they wish to make the USA their home. Instead, it appears that North America finds it easier to adopt a “blame the victim” mentality. Using immigrants as the scapegoat for poor employment rates and declining social values constrains the ability for those in power to harness new perspectives on meaning making, and subsequent onward movement of society as a whole.

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Bibliography

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THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

Writers share their experiences of kindness while travelling.

By The Boar Travel

Credit: Pexels.

Image: Unsplash.

Zofia Swiatek

It is quite peculiar that when a stranger is kind to us while travelling, it’s immediately obvious to both parties that the favour cannot be returned — soon, we will be again physically distant, and lost to each other forever. We pass each other for only a moment in our lives, a chance encounter with no past and likely no future.

I think that the unique circumstances make even the smallest act of kindness so touching and memorable. I still remember how three years ago I was traveling through Georgia with my family and we left the car to visit a viewpoint outlooking a mountain pass. Several other people were there, taking pictures of the beautiful scenery, and I saw that one woman was posing with a large bouquet of beautiful purple wild flowers. I truly liked them, and went up to her to say how lovely they were.

It was all she needed to hear — immediately, she offered to give me the flowers, so that I could take a picture with them myself. Her gesture was extremely kind, and I smiled happily as my mom took our her camera. Yet this stranger’s kindness did not end there: the woman insisted that I keep the flowers with me, and refused to take them back. She saw that they brought me joy, and wanted to contribute to my happiness. People usually receive flowers from loved ones, and it’s so amazingly precious to receive them from a stranger!

The flowers withered away by the end of the day, but the memory will stay with me forever. This simple, ephemeral gift became a powerful reminder of the goodness people can show towards others.

I passed a lot of people on that trip years ago, but the fact that I still remember this woman and the flowers shows that a simple gesture can truly go a long way. Back then, the flowers made my day, and every time I think back to it, the world seems a bit more bright.

Rosie Williams

This week I was reminded of someone who played a very minor role in my year abroad in Germany, yet whose regular kindness and positive attitude never failed to put a smile on my face.

I took the train to work every day and I soon realised there was a ticket inspector, who also worked on this route regularly. He was the most friendly man, with dark curly hair and a thin moustache- which also curled outwards in a spiral at the sides just like in a cartoon. In fact, he did look rather Super Mario-esque, but that’s beside the point.

Every time he entered the carriage to check the tickets, he would announce his arrival with a jovial greeting. On one occasion, I overheard him talking to some people in front of me. He’d sat down beside them as he often did, telling them that he used to be an artist before realising that the real art in life was interacting with other people, which is why he became a train conductor.

You really couldn’t make this stuff up! He certainly used this opportunity, which the profession apparently afforded him, to its full extent! I liked to eavesdrop into the friendly conversations like this, which he had with passengers, (it was hard not to overhear because he was so animated), but one day it was my turn.

Getting out my ticket for him to check, he spotted the British driving license in my card wallet, which prompted him to sit next to me and tell me about the time when his sports team, (to my memory it was something like trampolining), went to competitions in the UK and then Japan. Listening to what he had to say always felt slightly surreal, as this man seemed to have such a rich life behind him. I embraced the opportunity, listening eagerly and feeling privileged to share in his storytelling.

Even though my journey was only eight minutes, his friendliness and mad adventures combined had the ability to put my little worries into perspective and send me off feeling inspired.

Lauren Nicholson

Last year I visited Paris with a few friends and we spent a day looking at art galleries. The last one on our list was ‘Musee De L’Orangerie', a dreaded 40 minute trek from the previous one. We weren’t too familiar with the public transport so we were travelling between everything on foot.

We ended up arriving about five minutes before the museum closed and the guard told us they actually stopped letting in people fifteen minutes before anyway. I was pretty gutted – the gallery features a beautiful set of waterlily paintings by Monet and the room is circular so the painting bends around. Sort of like a panorama view.

The security guard caught on to our mood and asked us “Brexit or no Brexit?” My friend replied “no Brexit” and the guard grinned and told us we could go in for the last few minutes.

They let us straight through the security checks and passport checks (if you’re an EU resident you get in free, otherwise you have to pay). I did feel like a bit of a celebrity.

Although we didn’t get to spend long inside, it was definitely worth it and certainly my favourite of all the museums. Pictures of the Monet paintings really don’t do it justice: there’s just something really beautiful about being surrounded by the paintings in real life. It’s really immersive.

You can also get quite close to them too and the vast size means you can see so many details of his work – every brush stroke. I definitely recommend visiting, but maybe before its closing time at 6pm, because I doubt the guard is always that nice!

Hannah Drew

My fondest memory of a kind stranger comes from my year abroad. I was travelling back to the UK for the Christmas holidays, a journey which involved travelling a couple of hours from my small town to Paris, where I would catch the Eurostar to London.

The day had already been made extremely difficult, due to the transport strikes and my trains to Paris being cancelled, followed by a Flixbus that turned up over an hour late. In Paris, I needed to catch RER B to Gare du Nord, a service which was significantly reduced due to the strikes.

The station was completely rammed with people and I knew that if I missed the next metro, I would miss my Eurostar due to my late Flixbus earlier in the day. Enter my kind stranger. Seeing that I was visibly upset after my stressful morning and the panic of the crowd, he helped me onto the train with my huge suitcase as we were pushed and shoved by other passengers. He then proceeded to form a human barricade around me, so nobody was shoving into me and I was able to calm myself down.

As I arrived at Gare du Nord, he yet again helped me lug my suitcase off and pointed me in the direction of my Eurostar train. Although he did not know of my difficult day and desire to get back to the UK, for the first time in three months, a stranger took the time to help someone who was visibly struggling and get me on my way.

It’s a shame he wasn’t there to help me when my phone was stolen about ten minutes later in Gare du Nord. Thanks, Paris.

Reece Goodall

Way back in my first year, I decided to take part in one of the many ‘travel abroad’ opportunities you’re bombarded with.

The idea of the journey was to hitchhike from London to Morocco. In all honesty, I had little faith that the trip would be a success– although hitchhiking seems an adventure in films, I simply didn’t believe that it would in real life. The charity trip involved groups of three, and who would have the space and the patience for three random kids they’d found on the road?

It transpired that Europe was full of wonderful people, and they went above and beyond giving us lifts. One French lady found us wandering and, when she learned we’d scarcely eaten for two days, she took us back to her house and invited us to share a stuffed chicken meal with her family.

When it poured with rain and we attempted to rest under some trees, a lady took us to a nearby hostel and paid for our board. Sitting in a train station, again because of weather, one of our party was sad and struggling with homesickness – an old French man saw her crying, asked what music she liked and then started playing it on the station piano.

In the most exciting moment of the trip, the American member of our party left her passport in a service station toilet. A Spanish man picked up there and, when she realised, he took her back several miles to look. It wasn’t there, so he called the local police and then he took us to the US embassy in Spain. It was out of his way by a magnitude of several hours, but he said that he couldn’t abandon someone in need.

I wasn’t expecting the trip to be a success and, for me, it wasn’t – I bailed out before Morocco. But the journey was wonderful, in no small part because of the kindness of the people we encountered on the way.

Have you benefitted from the kindness of strangers?

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The Kindness of a Stranger

Earlier this week I was at an eye doctor appointment for a second opinion about several diagnoses expected to result in my blindness. I just turned 30. In the waiting room a gentleman began to talk with me. I’m a very private person and was somewhat reluctant to engage in the conversation, but ended up telling him why I was there. This complete stranger expressed more sympathy than nearly every person that I am close to. After a minute he got up and walked over to hand me something. Expecting a prayer card or religious token of some kind, I reached out. Cash. And not exactly a small amount. I was shocked and tried to decline his generous offer, to which he replied “If you get some good news today go celebrate with a nice dinner, if it’s bad news go get yourself a drink”. At this point I was speechless and am afraid I didn’t make a very gracious act of accepting his generosity. I’m still waiting to hear back from the doctor, but the prognosis is not good. I would have needed that drink, but a good meal and the kindness of a stranger has gotten me through. Thank you sir, you really are too kind. What you gave me that day was so much more than money. I not only appreciate it greatly, but promise to pay it forward. Best wishes to anyone out there who is struggling, and a big thank you to all those who engage in random acts of kindness. Amber Springfield, MO

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Schneier on Security

Home Essays

The Kindness of Strangers

Bruce Schneier
The Wall Street Journal
March 12, 2009

When I was growing up, children were commonly taught: “don’t talk to strangers.” Strangers might be bad, we were told, so it’s prudent to steer clear of them.

And yet most people are honest, kind, and generous, especially when someone asks them for help. If a small child is in trouble, the smartest thing he can do is find a nice-looking stranger and talk to him.

These two pieces of advice may seem to contradict each other, but they don’t. The difference is that in the second instance, the child is choosing which stranger to talk to. Given that the overwhelming majority of people will help, the child is likely to get help if he chooses a random stranger. But if a stranger comes up to a child and talks to him or her, it’s not a random choice. It’s more likely, although still unlikely, that the stranger is up to no good.

As a species, we tend help each other, and a surprising amount of our security and safety comes from the kindness of strangers. During disasters: floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, bridge collapses. In times of personal tragedy. And even in normal times.

If you’re sitting in a cafe working on your laptop and need to get up for a minute, ask the person sitting next to you to watch your stuff. He’s very unlikely to steal anything. Or, if you’re nervous about that, ask the three people sitting around you. Those three people don’t know each other, and will not only watch your stuff, but they’ll also watch each other to make sure no one steals anything.

Again, this works because you’re selecting the people. If three people walk up to you in the café and offer to watch your computer while you go to the bathroom, don’t take them up on that offer. Your odds of getting three honest people are much lower.

Some computer systems rely on the kindness of strangers, too. The Internet works because nodes benevolently forward packets to each other without any recompense from either the sender or receiver of those packets. Wikipedia works because strangers are willing to write for, and edit, an encyclopedia – with no recompense.

Collaborative spam filtering is another example. Basically, once someone notices a particular e-mail is spam, he marks it, and everyone else in the network is alerted that it’s spam. Marking the e-mail is a completely altruistic task; the person doing it gets no benefit from the action. But he receives benefit from everyone else doing it for other e-mails.

Tor is a system for anonymous Web browsing. The details are complicated, but basically, a network of Tor servers passes Web traffic among each other in such a way as to anonymize where it came from. Think of it as a giant shell game. As a Web surfer, I put my Web query inside a shell and send it to a random Tor server. That server knows who I am but not what I am doing. It passes that shell to another Tor server, which passes it to a third. That third server—which knows what I am doing but not who I am—processes the Web query. When the Web page comes back to that third server, the process reverses itself and I get my Web page. Assuming enough Web surfers are sending enough shells through the system, even someone eavesdropping on the entire network can’t figure out what I’m doing.

It’s a very clever system, and it protects a lot of people , including journalists, human rights activists, whistleblowers, and ordinary people living in repressive regimes around the world. But it only works because of the kindness of strangers. No one gets any benefit from being a Tor server; it uses up bandwidth to forward other people’s packets around. It’s more efficient to be a Tor client and use the forwarding capabilities of others. But if there are no Tor servers, then there’s no Tor. Tor works because people are willing to set themselves up as servers, at no benefit to them.

Alibi clubs work along similar lines. You can find them on the Internet, and they’re loose collections of people willing to help each other out with alibis. Sign up, and you’re in. You can ask someone to pretend to be your doctor and call your boss. Or someone to pretend to be your boss and call your spouse. Or maybe someone to pretend to be your spouse and call your boss. Whatever you want, just ask and some anonymous stranger will come to your rescue. And because your accomplice is an anonymous stranger, it’s safer than asking a friend to participate in your ruse.

There are risks in these sorts of systems. Regularly, marketers and other people with agendas try to manipulate Wikipedia entries to suit their interests. Intelligence agencies can, and almost certainly have, set themselves up as Tor servers to better eavesdrop on traffic. And a do-gooder could join an alibi club just to expose other members. But for the most part, strangers are willing to help each other, and systems that harvest this kindness work very well on the Internet.

Categories: Psychology of Security

Tags: Wall Street Journal

Sidebar photo of Bruce Schneier by Joe MacInnis.

Teen essay winner: Kindness of stranger inspires journey

The Optimist Club of York County, a nonprofit organization that raises funds for scholarships and other ways to improve the lives of children, recently held an essay contest for local students. The theme this year was "Who is an everyday hero that brings out the optimism in you?" The York Dispatch is publishing the first- and second-place winners this week. Below is the essay by second-place winner Charlee Kurtz.

Never did I fully comprehend the monumental impact of small acts until I experienced one first hand. Raised by a single mother, I learned that material value never compares to sentimental value. Gathered around a small kitchen table, three days before Christmas, my brother and I ate the dinner my mom cooked for us. Little did we know, our mom was not eating because bills were tight, and she always put my brother and I first. Christmas was simple at our house this year. Christmas meant the gift of quality time, handmade ornaments, and a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Although I never felt as if anything was missing, I could sense the distress my mom experienced during the holiday season.

Teen essay winner: Single mother is 'the definition of empowerment'

That night, a stranger unexpectedly left us a gift on our front door step. There was a basket filled with small toys and packages of food. The tag on the basket read, "Happy holidays, from Santa." Eyes sparkling with joy, faces filled with laughter, my brother and I were warmed by the surprise. My mom was in tears. The stranger who left this basket on our steps never asked for recognition. They just wanted to help others during a time of need. Although I will never know the name of the kind person who showed me the warmth of optimism, I carry this positivity with me throughout my everyday life. This person's act of kindness has impacted my journey.

Six years later, the overwhelming love created by this simple basket remains in the back of my mind as I work to fight hunger within my community. As the vice president of my school's National Honors Society, I run our Fill the Bus campaign, collecting boxes of non-perishable food items to donate to our local food pantry. Months of preparation lead up to the final food drop off day. I meet with the coordinator of the food pantry to schedule dates for can collection, design posters to advertise our campaign throughout the school district, and plan engaging activities to collect non-perishable food items. With each paper cut, and with each hour of assembling boxes, I am reminded of the stranger who left the basket on the steps, a hero. I am reminded of the satisfaction of giving, of creating a light in the darkness of someone else's life. I am reminded of the community my school forms, supporting families in need. With every donated can of soup, I picture the gratefulness of mothers like mine, making sacrifices for their kids.

Last year, on Dec. 27, two days after Christmas, I found myself standing in the parking lot of the food pantry, stuffing my shivering hands into the pockets of my winter jacket, watching my exhales leave my nose in puffs against the cold winter air. As if I stood trapped inside the center of a shaken snow globe, flakes of snow meandered into my hair and eyelashes. With quivering lips, I admired our three yellow school buses parked outside the food pantry, filled with thousands of boxes of food. Surrounded by my peers, gratefulness filled my body with much needed warmth as I scanned the assortment of cans and boxes stacked inside the windows of each school bus. The thud of my winter boots carried me up each bus step. When I reached the aisle, I eagerly assessed the meals we would place in front of struggling families this cold holiday season.

One by one, each of us grabbed a heavy box from a loaded school bus and began our trek to the food pantry. Shoes slipping against the damp ground, snowflakes impairing my vision, and cheeks turning cherry red against the harsh air could not tear the smile from my face or the appreciation from my thoughts. I imagined families, struggling parents who would do anything to provide a memorable holiday for their children, benefiting from each and every item. Not only has this position given me the passion to create a beacon of hope for others, but it has allowed me to spread the optimism that a kind stranger once showed me. By assisting struggling families, I strive to be the stranger who left the basket on the steps.

The Mystery of Human Kindness

Human kindness is a frequent and universal behavior.

Posted June 6, 2024 | Reviewed by Ray Parker

The Importance of Empathy
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Humans are wired for kindness.
Helping others reduces fear and increases courage.

This week, Cameron Whiting, 31, was finishing his morning 1.5-mile ocean swim in Del Mar, California, when he heard a woman scream, “Shark!” A 46-year-old man swimming near her had been attacked by a shark. At 9 am, the lifeguards were not yet on duty. Whiting and another man, Kevin Barrett, started swimming furiously toward the injured man. From 100 yards away Whiting realized, with dread, he was swimming toward a shark and feared what he might find when he got to the injured man.

Barrett and Whiting made it to the victim. They found him with limbs intact but bleeding profusely from the torso. A surfer offered his board. They put the injured man on the surfboard and furiously swam 150 yards to shore. Whiting felt acutely aware that he was swimming in shark-infested waters, surrounded by blood. Barrett helped hold the victim steady on the surfboard. The woman who witnessed the attack followed. Off-duty lifeguards helped stabilize the victim. An emergency room physician walking his dog told them to apply pressure to the man’s wounds. Paramedics took the victim to the hospital, where he is expected to survive (Garrison, J. 2024).

Why did a group of strangers risk their lives for a stranger?

Humans Are Wired for Kindness

Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal reports that the human brain is equipped with a social caregiving system. This system is regulated by the hormone oxytocin , which is produced mainly in the hypothalamus and distributed into the bloodstream through the pituitary gland. When activated, this system creates a feeling of connection, trust, and bonding with others. Breastfeeding mothers produce oxytocin, contributing to the feeling of love and connection between mother and child.

Humans are social animals. When we feel close to others, we experience less activation of the amygdala, the fear center of the brain. Bonded with others, we feel the courage to act. If we experience stressful events, oxytocin provides the chemical motivation to seek out support from others. It provides a cushion, protecting us from the paralyzing effects of overwhelming stress so that we cope better (McGonigal, Kelly, 2015).

If you feel stressed, as when a loved one is facing surgery, the neurotransmitter dopamine strengthens motivation and the courage to do something helpful. When you offer that help, dopamine provides a boost even when it feels like the surgeon gave you an "energy ectomy." Sometimes, anxiety can cause you to freeze under pressure. If you ask yourself, “How can I be helpful, useful, or beneficial to others?” you activate the reward system of your brain. Doing something helpful, kind, or useful tells your brain, “You can make things better.” And that feels empowering (Schneider, G. S., 2022).

Helping Others Decreases Fear

A study by the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) neuroscientists demonstrated that helping others decreases fear and increases courage and hope. In this study, scientists wanted to measure two different ways of coping with the distress of watching a loved one experience pain. Participants were given a sample electric shock so that they would know what their loved ones were going to feel. The shock produced pain but no negative health effects, like that of a dog training shock collar. Participants were told that they would not be able to do anything to prevent their loved ones from experiencing pain. Those who decided to continue the study were given two ways to cope with the stress of watching their loved one get shocked. For the first coping strategy, subjects could provide comfort by holding their loved one’s hands. In the second coping strategy, they could distract themselves from the distress by squeezing a ball. Researchers then watched and recorded activity in the participant’s brains.

The reward and caregiving systems of the brain showed more activation when participants held the hand of their loved one. Providing comfort to another also lowered activity in the threat-sensing amygdala, decreasing the fear response. In stark contrast, those told to squeeze a ball (a distress avoidance activity) experienced a decrease in the reward and caregiving system of the brain. The stress avoidance activity provided no calming effect on the amygdala. When we merely avoid distress by doing some unrelated activity, it does not seem to help us feel better. It makes us feel more powerless. When we take action to help others, we lower our nervous system 's distress response and feel more empowered, with less fear and worry (Inagaki, T.K. et al. 2012).

Human Kindness Is a Frequent and Universal Behavior

In a cross-cultural study of eight cultures across five continents, researchers found that people are far more likely to help others (79% of the time) than not. These researchers noted that requests for small acts of assistance occur about once every two minutes. “Please pass the salt,” “Where can I find the ketchup?” “Can you get the door for me?” These sociologists found that kind, helpful, and cooperative behavior is seven times more common than uncooperative behavior (Rossi G. et al., 2023).

Years ago, on a blustery day in New York City, Brooklyn resident Delroy Simmonds waited at a subway platform on his way to a job interview. He noticed a woman with three small children and a baby in a stroller waiting near him. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew the stroller with the baby onto the tracks of the oncoming train. In a burst of courage, Simmonds jumped onto the tracks, rescued the baby, and barely escaped death as the train approached with horn blaring. When asked what would make him risk his own life, he said, “It was the fatherly instinct. I have two daughters of my own—8 and 5. I was being a father. I would have done it for any baby."

His act of compassion inspired another act of kindness. You see, Simmonds missed his job interview that day. When Guy Rodriquez, with ABM Janitorial Services, saw Simmonds's story in the paper, he offered him a maintenance position, like the one Simmonds missed on the day he rescued the baby (Lysiak and Hutchinson, 2012).

Acts of compassion often inspire generosity of spirit in others. Kindness provides the warm social nourishment of a functional society, but it can also promote healing, reduce inflammation, and increase courage and hope.

We live in a time of cynicism , war, and media displays of human cruelty. It helps to know that most people will say yes most of the time to an opportunity to help another. That’s comforting.

Garrison, J. “Shark!” Swimmers race to save bleeding man off Southern California Beach. Los Angeles Times , June 4, 2024.

Inagaki, T. K. and Eisenberger, N. I. 2012. “Neural Correlates of Giving Support to a Loved One.” Psychosomatic Medicine 74(1), 3-7.

Lysiak, M. and Hutchinson, B. 2012. “Hero Who Saved Baby from Subway Tracks Gets New Gig After a Year Without a Job.” New York Daily News. New York City: Tribune Publishing, June 27.

McGonigal, Kelly. 2015. The Upside of Stress:Why Stress is Good for You (and How to Get Good at it). London: Vermillion.

Rossi,G., et al. 2023. Shared cross-cultural principles underlie human prosocial behavior at the smallest scale. Scientific Reports ; 13 (1) DOI: 10.1038/s41598-023-30580-5

Schneider, Gina. 2022. Frazzlebrain: Break Free from Anxiety, Anger, and Stress Using Advanced Discoveries in Neuropsychology. Las Vegas, NV. Central Recovery Press.

Gina Simmons Schneider, Ph.D., is a licensed psychotherapist, corporate trainer, and certified coach, and the author of Frazzlebrain .

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Boo Radley: a Subtle Journey of Coming of Age

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Published: Jun 6, 2024

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The recluse in the shadows, acts of quiet kindness, the triumph of human kindness, conclusion: a silent journey of growth.

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Stephen Hiltner/The New York Times

The sculpted facade of a 2,000-year-old tomb glows in the late-afternoon sun at Hegra, a UNESCO World Heritage site.

Crowds of Muslim pilgrims gather outside the Prophet’s Mosque in Medina.

Camels march through the desert on the outskirts of the Empty Quarter, the world’s largest sand sea.

For many years these Saudi Arabian scenes, including the lively open-air markets in Jeddah, were off limits to most travelers.

But not anymore. As it undergoes a profound transformation, Saudi Arabia is spending lavishly to lure tourists with its luxe new resorts ...

... its rich cultural heritage ...

... and its sublime natural beauty.

Can the Saudi government persuade would-be visitors to look past — or reconsider — its longstanding associations with religious extremism, ultraconservatism and human rights abuses?

Will the kingdom’s $800 billion bet on tourism pay off?

Supported by

Surprising, Unsettling, Surreal: Roaming Through Saudi Arabia

To witness the kingdom’s profound transformation and assess its ambitious tourism projects, a Times journalist spent a month on the road there. Here’s what he saw.

By Stephen Hiltner

An editor and photojournalist for the Travel section, Stephen Hiltner drove 5,200 miles and visited all 13 of Saudi Arabia’s provinces while reporting and shooting this story.

Wandering alone along the southern fringes of Saudi Arabia’s mountainous Asir Province, some eight miles from the Yemeni border, in a nondescript town with a prominent sculpture of a rifle balanced on an ornately painted plinth, I met a man, Nawab Khan, who was building a palace out of mud.

Actually, he was rebuilding the structure, restoring it. And when I came across him, he hadn’t yet begun his work for the day; he was seated on the side of the road beneath its red-and-white windows — cross-legged, on a rug, leaning over a pot of tea and a bowl of dates.

Two weeks earlier, on the far side of the country, a fellow traveler had pointed at a map and described the crumbling buildings here, in Dhahran al-Janub, arranged in a colorful open-air museum. Finding myself nearby, I’d detoured to have a look — and there was Mr. Khan, at first looking at me curiously and then waving me over to join him. Sensing my interest in the cluster of irregular towers, he stood up, produced a large key ring and began opening a series of padlocks. When he vanished through a doorway, I followed him into a shadowy stairwell.

This, of course, was my mother’s worst nightmare: Traveling solo, I’d been coaxed by a stranger into an unlit building in a remote Saudi village, within a volatile border area that the U.S. Department of State advises Americans to stay away from .

By now, though, more than halfway through a 5,200-mile road trip, I trusted Mr. Khan’s enthusiasm as a genuine expression of pride, not a ploy. All across Saudi Arabia, I’d seen countless projects being built, from simple museums to high-end resorts. These were the early fruits of an $800 billion investment in the travel sector, itself part of a much larger effort, Vision 2030 , to remake the kingdom and reduce its economic dependence on oil.

But I’d begun to see the building projects as something else, too: the striving of a country — long shrouded to most Westerners — to be seen, reconsidered, accepted. And with its doors suddenly flung open and the pandemic behind us, visitors like me were finally beginning to witness this new Saudi Arabia, much to Mr. Khan’s and all the other builders’ delight.

Few countries present as complicated a prospect for travelers as Saudi Arabia.

Long associated with Islamic extremism, human rights abuses and the oppression of women, the kingdom has made strides in recent years to refashion its society and its reputation abroad.

The infamous religious police, which upheld codes of conduct based on an ultraconservative interpretation of Islam, were stripped of their power. Public concerts, once banned, are now ubiquitous. Women have been granted new rights — including the freedom to drive and to travel without permission from a male guardian — and are no longer required to wear floor-length robes in public or to cover their hair.

These changes are part of a broad set of strategies to diversify the kingdom’s economy, elevate its status in the world and soften its image — the last of which is a tall order for a government that has killed a newspaper columnist , kidnapped and tortured dissidents , precipitated a humanitarian crisis in Yemen and imprisoned people for supporting gay rights , among a number of other recent abuses .

Central to the transformations led by 38-year-old Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, the kingdom’s de facto ruler, is a major push for international visitors. It represents a sea change in a country that, until 2019, issued no nonreligious tourist visas and instead catered almost exclusively to Muslim pilgrims visiting Mecca and Medina, Islam’s two holiest cities. In February, by contrast, my tourist e-visa was approved online in minutes.

Saudi Arabia has already transformed one of its premier destinations — Al-Ula, with its UNESCO-listed Nabatean tombs — from a neglected collection of archaeological sites into a lavish retreat with a bevy of activities on offer, including guided tours, wellness festivals, design exhibitions and hot air balloon rides.

Another project will create a vast array of luxury resorts on or near the Red Sea.

Still more projects include the development of Diriyah , the birthplace of the first Saudi state; the preservation and development of the coastal city of Jeddah ; an offshore theme park called the Rig ; and Neom , the futuristic city that has garnered the lion’s share of attention.

All told, the country is hoping to draw 70 million international tourists per year by 2030, with tourism contributing 10 percent of its gross domestic product. (In 2023, the country logged 27 million international tourists, according to government figures , with tourism contributing about 4 percent of G.D.P.)

At-Turaif, a UNESCO World Heritage site, was the birthplace of the kingdom of Saudi Arabia. It is now the centerpiece of the $63 billion Diriyah project, a new center of culture just outside Riyadh.

Nujuma, a Ritz-Carlton Reserve on a remote island in the Red Sea, opened in late May. (A one-bedroom villa costs about $2,500 per night, excluding taxes and fees.) It is one of 50 properties scheduled to open in the area by 2030.

The preservation and development of Jeddah, a coastal city famous for its historic district built largely from blocks of coral, comes with a price tag of some $20 billion.

Al-Ula is a cornerstone of Saudi Arabia’s tourism ambitions. Part of the city’s Old Town, long crumbling in neglect, has now been painstakingly restored.

To get a sense of these projects and the changes unfolding in Saudi society, I spent a month exploring the kingdom by car. I traveled alone, without a fixer, driver or translator. Per New York Times ethics guidelines, I declined the government’s many offers of discounts and complimentary services.

Much of the time I felt I’d been tossed the keys to the kingdom. But there were moments, too, when I faced a more complicated reality, one epitomized by a road sign that forced me to abruptly exit the highway some 15 miles from the center of Mecca. “Obligatory for Non Muslims,” it read, pointing to the offramp.

To me, the sign broadcast the lines being drawn to compartmentalize the country, which is now marketing itself to two sets of travelers with increasingly divergent — and sometimes contradictory — expectations: luxury tourists at ease with bikinis and cocktails, and pilgrims prepared for modesty and strict religious adherence. It’s hard to know whether the kingdom can satisfy both without antagonizing either.

My trip began in Jeddah, where, after spending two days exploring its historic district, I rented a car and drove eight hours north to Al-Ula, a benchmark for the new Saudi tourism initiatives.

Saudi Arabia

Reporter’s route

Dhahran al-Janub

Wadi al-Disah

Red Sea Resort

The name Al-Ula refers to both a small city and a broader region packed with attractions: Hegra , the kingdom’s first UNESCO World Heritage site and its biggest archaeological draw, is a 30-minute drive north of Old Town, a maze of crumbling mud-brick buildings now partly restored. Between the two, and fanning out to the east and west, are several other archaeological sites, as well as a smattering of resorts, event spaces and adventure outfitters. Farther northeast, beyond Hegra, is the Sharaan Nature Reserve , a vast protected zone used for conservation efforts.

My first priority during my five-day stay in Al-Ula was a visit to Hegra.

Like Petra , its better-known counterpart in Jordan, Hegra was built by the Nabateans, an ancient people who flourished 2,000 years ago. The site contains more than 100 tombs that were carved from solid rock, their entrances adorned with embellishments. Most impressive among them, set apart and standing some 70 feet tall, is a tomb colloquially called the Lonely Castle.

Not long ago, visitors could hire private guides and wander the area on foot, climbing in and out of — and no doubt damaging — the many tombs. Not anymore: I boarded an air-conditioned tour bus and zipped past most of them, stopping at just four locations.

At the penultimate stop, we exited the bus and trudged several hundred feet along a sandy path to the front of the Lonely Castle. Even in the late afternoon, the heat was stifling. I craned my neck to take in the details of the sculpted facade, which emerged like a mirage from one side of a massive boulder: its four pilasters, the rough chisel marks near the bottom, its characteristic five-stepped crown. Ten minutes evaporated, and I turned to find my group being shepherded back onto the bus. I jogged through the sand to catch up.

A few miles north of Hegra, I hopped in the back of a Toyota Land Cruiser — accompanied by an Italian graduate student and his mother — for a drive through the sandy expanse of the Sharaan Nature Reserve.

The scenery was sublime: Slipping through a narrow slot canyon, we emerged into a vast, open desert plain, then settled into a wide valley enclosed by an amphitheater of cliffs. Occasionally our guide stopped and led us on short hikes to petroglyphs, some pockmarked by bullet holes, or to lush fields of wildflowers, where he plucked edible greens and invited us to sample their lemony tang.

Gabriele Morelli, the graduate student, had first come to Al-Ula a few years ago — a different era, he said, given how quickly the place had transformed. He described a version that no longer exists, rife with cheap accommodation, lax rules and a free-for-all sensibility.

Some of the changes, of course, have been necessary to protect delicate ecosystems and archaeological sites from ever-growing crowds. But several people I met in Al-Ula — Saudis and foreigners alike — quietly lamented the extent of the high-end development and the steady erosion of affordability. Many of the new offerings, like the Banyan Tree resort, they pointed out, are luxury destinations that cater to wealthy travelers.

These hushed criticisms were among my early lessons on how difficult it can be to gauge the way Saudis feel about the pace and the pervasiveness of the transformations reshaping their society.

I got a taste of Al-Ula’s exclusivity — and of the uncanniness that occasionally surfaced throughout my trip — at a Lauryn Hill concert in an event space called Maraya . To reach the hall, I passed through a security gate, where an attendant scanned my e-ticket and directed me two miles up a winding road into the heart of the Ashar Valley, home to several high-end restaurants and resorts.

Rounding the final bend, I felt as if I’d stumbled into a computer-generated image: Ant-size humans were dwarfed by a reflective structure that both asserted itself and blended into the landscape. Inside, waiters served hors d’oeuvres and brightly colored mocktails to a chic young crowd.

The surreality peaked when, midway through the show, I left my plush seat to join some concertgoers near the stage — only to turn and see John Bolton, former President Donald J. Trump’s national security adviser, seated in the front row.

Where else, I wondered, could I attend a rap concert in the middle of the desert with a longtime fixture of the Republican Party — amid a crowd that cheered when Ms. Hill mentioned Palestine — but this strange new corner of Saudi Arabia?

The mirrored facade at Maraya, a vast event space in Al-Ula, warps and reflects the surrounding desert landscape.

The building is in some ways a precursor to the kingdom’s most ambitious architectural design: the project at Neom called the Line, a 106-mile linear city that will also feature a mirrored surface.

Lauryn Hill performing in front of a large crowd at Maraya.

After Al-Ula, I drove to another of the kingdom’s extravagant schemes: the Red Sea project, billed as the “world’s most ambitious regenerative tourism destination.” After weaving through a morass of construction-related traffic, I boarded a yacht — alongside a merry band of Saudi influencers — and was piloted some 15 miles to a remote island, where I disembarked in a world of unqualified opulence at the St. Regis Red Sea Resort .

I was chauffeured around in an electric golf cart — past 43 beachside “dune” villas and onto two long boardwalks that connect the rest of the resort to 47 “coral” villas, built on stilts over shallow turquoise water. Along the way, I listened to Lucas Julien-Vauzelle, an executive assistant manager, wax poetic about sustainability. “We take it to the next level,” he said, before rattling off a list of facts and figures: 100 percent renewable energy, a solar-powered 5G network , plans to enhance biologically diverse habitats.

By 2030, he said, the Red Sea project will offer 50 hotels across its island and inland sites. Citing the Maldives, he mentioned the kingdom’s plans to claim a share of the same high-end market.

Another prediction came by way of Keith Thornton, the director of restaurants, who said he expects the resort to legally serve alcohol by the end of the year. (While a liquor store for non-Muslim diplomats recently opened in Riyadh, the Saudi government has made no indication that it plans to reconsider its broader prohibition of alcohol.)

The hotel was undeniably impressive. But there’s an inescapable irony to a lavish resort built at unfathomable expense in the middle of the sea — with guests ferried out by chartered boat and seaplane — that flaunts its aspirations for sustainability.

Toward the end of my several-hour visit, I learned that every piece of vegetation, including 646 palm trees, had been transplanted from an off-site nursery. Later, reviewing historical satellite images, I found visual evidence that the island — described to me as pristine — had been dramatically fortified and, in the process, largely remade. Its footprint had also been significantly altered. It was, in a sense, an artificial island built where a smaller natural island once stood.

Something else struck me, too: The place was nearly empty, save for the staff and the Saudi influencers. Granted, the resort had just opened the month before — but the same was true at the nearby Six Senses Southern Dunes , an inland Red Sea resort that opened in November. Fredrik Blomqvist, the general manager there, told me that its isolated location in a serene expanse of desert — part of its appeal — also presented a challenge in drawing customers. “The biggest thing,” he said, “is to get the message out that the country is open.”

Since the country began issuing tourist visas, influencers have been documenting their experiences in places like Jeddah and Al-Ula, their trips often paid for by the Saudi government. Their breezy content contributes to the impression that the kingdom is awaiting discovery by foreign visitors with out-of-date prejudices. To an extent, for a certain segment of tourists, that’s true.

For many travelers, though, the depiction of the kingdom as an uncomplicated getaway could be dangerously misleading.

Speech in Saudi Arabia is strictly limited; dissent is not tolerated — nor is the open practice of any religion other than the government’s interpretation of Islam. In its travel advisory , the U.S. Department of State warns that “social media commentary — including past comments — which Saudi authorities may deem critical, offensive, or disruptive to public order, could lead to arrest.” Punishment for Saudi nationals has been far worse: In 2023, a retired teacher was sentenced to death after he criticized the ruling family via anonymous accounts. As of late 2023, he remained in prison.

Other restrictions are harder to parse. L.G.B.T.Q. travelers are officially welcome in the kingdom but face a conundrum: They might face arrest or other criminal penalties for openly expressing their sexual orientation or gender identity. As recently as 2021, an independent U.S. federal agency included Saudi Arabia on a list of countries where same-sex relationships are punishable by death , noting that “the government has not sought this penalty in recent years.”

When asked how he would convince a same-sex couple that it was safe to visit, Jerry Inzerillo, a native New Yorker and the group chief executive of Diriyah, said: “We don’t ask you any questions when you come into the country or when you leave.”

“Maybe that’s not conclusive enough,” he added, “but a lot of people have come.”

Female travelers might also face difficulties, since advancements in women’s rights are not equally distributed throughout the kingdom.

The changes were more visible in big cities and tourist centers. Ghydda Tariq, an assistant marketing manager in Al-Ula, described how new professional opportunities had emerged for her in recent years. Maysoon, a young woman I met in Jeddah, made extra money by occasionally driving for Uber. Haneen Alqadi, an employee at the St. Regis Red Sea, described how women there are free to wear bikinis without fear of repercussions.

Outside such places, though, I sometimes went for days without seeing more than a handful of women, invariably wearing niqabs, let alone seeing them engaged in public life or tourism. My photographs reflect that imbalance.

As an easily identifiable Western man, I moved through the country with an array of advantages: the kindness and cheery curiosity of strangers, the ease of passage at military checkpoints, and the freedom to interact with a male-dominated society at markets, museums, parks, restaurants, cafes. Not all travelers could expect the same treatment.

Roaming in the far north and south, I often found the earlier version of the kingdom — with lax rules and less development — that had been described to me in Al-Ula.

I trekked to the northern city of Sakaka to see an archaeological site promoted as the Stonehenge of Saudi Arabia: a set of monoliths called the Rajajil Columns thought to have been erected some 6,000 years ago but about which little is definitively known.

My heart sank when I pulled into the parking lot after a five-hour drive and found the columns blocked by a tall fence. Approaching on foot, though, I noticed that a section of the fence had been peeled back and that visitors were wandering freely among the stones, which protruded from the earth like isolated clusters of crooked teeth. I joined the small crowd, if hesitatingly, and was surprised to find no footpaths, nor anything to keep us a safe distance from the columns. In the end I wondered if our access had been officially approved or informally arranged.

My travel experiences were sometimes awkward in other ways, too.

Standing just outside the grounds of the central mosque in Medina, where the Prophet Muhammad is buried, I was detained by a stern member of the Special Forces. (Even after 2019, non-Muslim tourists remained barred from Mecca and Medina, Islam’s two holiest cities. The ban was relaxed in parts of Medina in 2021.)

The guard interrogated me and, after calling a colleague to confer, demanded that I leave the area. “Go,” he said threateningly. Another traveler who witnessed the encounter scurried away to avoid a similar fate.

The unsettling exchange cast a pall over my time in the city, which few non-Muslims have seen. As far as I knew, I’d abided by the rules by staying outside the grounds of the Prophet’s Mosque — a boundary line that I’d confirmed with tourism officials beforehand.

Peering through the perimeter fence — the boundary line for non-Muslims — at the Prophet’s Mosque in Medina.

The Mosque of Al-Ghamamah, one of the oldest in the holy city.

A sprawling maze of ramshackle residential buildings sits less than a mile from the Prophet’s Mosque.

A guide speaking to a group of visitors near the Hejaz Railway Museum, visible in the distance. (The museum was closed for renovations at the time.)

A group of young men, most of whose families emigrated from Sudan, playing soccer in a field just outside the center of Medina.

More than anything, family and friends wanted to know if I felt safe on my trip — and I did, almost without exception. Petty crime in Saudi Arabia is exceedingly rare. And while parts of the country are under a Level 4 “Do Not Travel” advisory , even my rambling itinerary was approved by a security expert.

Instead of fearing for my safety, I was often preoccupied with how I’d fairly portray a place that elicited such a range of conflicting emotions: joy and distress, excitement and apprehension, sincerity and doubt. So much lay hidden from public view — like the collective anguish over the war raging in Gaza . And so little was easy to categorize, in part because the warmth of everyday Saudis was strikingly at odds with the ruthlessness of their authoritarian government.

In Riyadh, a young man warned me not to speak openly with strangers. “People get arrested here for a tweet ,” he said. “Can you imagine?”

I could, actually. The Saudi columnist Jamal Khashoggi had chronicled his government’s increasingly draconian responses to criticism. “Repression and intimidation are not — and never should be — the acceptable companions of reform,” he wrote in The Washington Post in 2018, just months before he was killed and dismembered at his country’s consulate in Istanbul.

Were we to travel only where we feel comfortable and unchallenged, we’d all be poorer for it. But the question of whether to travel to Saudi Arabia is thornier than that.

It’s easy to see one response, “No,” as yielding to closed-mindedness at the expense of ordinary people — like the kindly vendor Abdullah, who served me local honey at his shop in the southern mountains.

But it’s easy, too, to see “Yes” as an affirmation that might makes right, that amusement outweighs morality, that princely wealth can wipe a stained slate clean.

Sunrise over the mountainous village of Fayfa, some six miles from the Yemeni border.

Abdullah Ghaleb Zaid, a honey vendor, at his shop atop a mountain pass near the southern city of Abha.

Sunset near Jabal Soudah, the kingdom’s highest peak.

Ten days into my trip, I ventured to Wadi al-Disah, a steep-walled valley where I’d booked a tent at a campsite I found on Airbnb. For an additional 300 riyals ($80), my host, Faisal, led me on a four-wheel-drive tour, departing the paved road and weaving through a path along the bed of an ephemeral river. Continually jolted by the uneven terrain, we eased past thick reeds, lofty palms and small bands of visitors who’d nestled into clearings.

As we left, I met a group of young men gathered for a picnic, their sandals scattered around a carpet on which they were preparing their dinner. Delighted to meet an American with a camera, they asked if I’d take a group portrait, then exchanged information with me so I could send them a copy — a scenario by then so familiar that I hardly thought anything of it.

A full day later, some 200 miles away, I was cruising along a lonely highway near the Jordanian border when a Land Cruiser blew past me at an astonishing speed. I felt my compact car rock from its turbulence — and then I watched with a twinge of dread as the car abruptly braked, slowing hard in the left lane until our front ends were aligned. It held steady there.

For a moment I stared straight ahead, hoping to avoid a confrontation. When I finally turned to look, I saw a group of boys grinning wildly and waving through an open window. Then I realized: Improbably, it was three of the young men I’d met the day before. Somehow we’d all followed the same route. And somehow, in the split second it took them to fly past, they’d recognized me. I lifted my camera from the passenger seat and snapped a photograph.

The picture shows three young Saudis on a precipice: endearing, erratic, captivating. I have a sense of where they came from but no certainty about where they’re going. Two are flashing peace signs, and none appears to be wearing a seatbelt. No one is watching the road as their car drifts out of its lane, careening a little recklessly into a hopeful and uncertain future.

Stephen Hiltner’s recent work includes a photo essay about his childhood in Budapest , an examination of A.I.-generated guidebooks and an investigation into the deaths of Russian soldiers in Ukraine . You can follow his travels on Instagram .

Got a question about this story? Drop a note in the comments section. Got a tip? Send him an email .

Stephen Hiltner is an editor, writer and photographer for the Travel section of The Times. More about Stephen Hiltner

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The 30 Best Documentaries of All Time, Ranked

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The documentary genre is a more varied one than many people give it credit for. As a type of film, documentaries do usually aim to inform or educate about some kind of non-fiction story or topic, but that's not their sole purpose. Some aim to evoke certain feelings or experiences more than anything else, others aim to present an argument or point of view in a persuasive manner, and others are mostly concerned with simply entertaining audiences the way a work of fiction might. Furthermore, some documentaries aim to do a combination of the above, or maybe even none of the above, instead opting to do something else entirely

Exploring the world of documentary filmmaking can be a truly eye-opening thing to do, and reveal worlds or unique perspectives that aren't as easy to explore through other genres. It's safe to assume that documentary movies will never go out of style, which makes keeping track of the best documentaries out there worthwhile. Some of the best documentaries of all time have been around for decades, while others are more recent, and deal with ongoing, ever-topical issues. The films below aren't merely good documentaries; they're largely considered all-timers within the genre, and can all be described quite reasonably as the best documentaries ever. What follows are some of the finest documentary films of all time, ranked below from great to greatest.

30 'Bowling for Columbine' (2002)

Director: michael moore.

Coming out years before crime documentaries became Netflix's bread and butter, Bowling for Columbine uses a horrific crime spree as a jumping-off point to explore American culture, and its seemingly unending love of firearms. The event it's all framed around is the Columbine High School massacre of 1999, which claimed more than 20 victims.

In one of the best movies of 2002 , Michael Moore made arguably his most passionate and emotional movie with Bowling for Columbine , with the editing and presentation making the arguments put forward quite persuasive. It's in-your-face and uncompromising as a documentary, and it works well as something that clearly wants to start a conversation about a serious topic.

bowling for columbine

Watch on Tubi

29 'Sans Soleil' (1983)

Director: chris marker.

Sans Soleil is a documentary that's hard to summarize, and has a rather experimental approach to the format/genre. It has little by way of narrative or a direct argument that it wants to present, instead being an artistically presented odyssey through a woman's abstract thoughts, often relating to the meaning of life and human existence.

Sans Soleil feels broad and open to interpretation, but it's the kind of thing where someone could watch it and have it fully click , gaining an entirely different understanding than other viewers. This might make Sans Soleil something of an acquired taste, but it's worth at least one watch for those who appreciate unconventional and adventurous documentary movies .

Watch on Criterion

28 '13th' (2016)

Director: ava duvernay.

Standing as one of the most important cultural/political documentaries in recent memory, 13th is a difficult yet essential watch. It tackles the U.S. prison system with a particular focus on the racial inequality present within it, tying the way prisons function in modern times to the way slavery functioned back during the nation's earlier days.

It might be a difficult thing for some viewers to hear and grapple with, but 13th is persuasive and remarkably good at presenting the case for this claim. It's all assembled amazingly well, and makes for the kind of film that wants to frustrate, get people thinking, and have viewers reassess what they thought they knew. In these ways, 13th is a resoundingly successful documentary.

Watch on Netflix

27 'Gimme Shelter' (1970)

Directors: albert and david maysles, charlotte zwerin.

It's no secret that Martin Scorsese loves The Rolling Stones , having directed his own documentary about them and using their songs throughout his films. He seems particularly fond of the song "Gimme Shelter," which is also the name of this 1970 documentary about The Rolling Stones, focusing on one particularly infamous concert they performed in 1969.

Gimme Shelter is one of the few concert movies that could be described as nightmarish , because even if you enjoy some of the music on offer, the stark presentation of a tragic event is ultimately what's most memorable. It's an intense watch that's probably not for everyone, but it certainly stands as one of the most distinct - and harrowing - music documentaries of all time .

Watch on Max

26 'Man on Wire' (2008)

Director: james marsh.

Somehow functioning as both a documentary and a heist movie at the same time, Man on Wire tells a wild true story that was also adapted into a feature film with 2015's The Walk . It's about daredevil/tightrope walker Philippe Petit , and the way he managed to execute a stunt in 1974 that involved walking between the two towers of the World Trade Center, which had then only recently been built.

Man on Wire 's pacing makes it feel more dynamic and thrilling than many other documentaries out there , and some of the footage/photographs captured prove awe-inspiring to look at. It's artistically presented and genuinely exciting, serving as both a psychological exploration of a rather unique man while also celebrating the absolutely wild feat he managed to pull off.

Man on Wire

Watch on Hulu

25 'Grey Gardens' (1975)

Directors: david maysles, albert maysles, ellen hovde, muffie meyer.

For better or worse, Grey Gardens feels like a proto-reality TV show, arguably leading the way for the genre to exist in all its wild , uncomfortable, and sometimes exploitative glory. This is because Grey Gardens simply observes two real-life people who live strange lives, and may or may not be exaggerating their odd behavior because cameras are present.

The two women at the center of Grey Gardens are relatives of Jackie Kennedy Onassis , and they live in a large yet rundown house, and have very isolated lives. It's an unsettling and uncomfortable film that blurs the line between documentary and drama , but ultimately one that's proven influential within the genre, and a somewhat haunting watch that has resonated with many viewers since its 1975 release.

24 'They Shall Not Grow Old' (2018)

Director: peter jackson.

There have been many great films about the First World War , and among them would have to be They Shall Not Grow Old . It was released on the 100th anniversary of the conflict's end, and uses colorized and meticulously restored footage to depict the harrowing experience of trench warfare in a way that's never been shown before in previous WW1 documentaries.

It was an ambitious project directed by Peter Jackson , and though getting the footage to look so striking would have taken a great deal of work, the results speak for themselves. They Shall Not Grow Old isn't an easy watch, but it is an essential one , and recontextualizes a century-old conflict by presenting an emotional and intimately personal look at the horrors of war.

23 'Life of Crime: 1984-2020' (2021)

Director: jon alpert.

Life of Crime: 1984-2020 may have a bit of a clunky title, but as a film, it's anything but clunky. It's the third and final installment in a series of documentaries that follow several individuals who engage in petty crime and/or struggle with drug addictions, with it all being filmed in an uncompromising and very raw fashion.

This 2021 film spends one hour recapping the first and second documentaries in the series (which covered the 1980s and 1990s respectively) before moving on to what happened to the subjects at its center in the 21st century. Life of Crime: 1984-2020 sheds light on a group of people who've seemingly been forgotten by society, showing their flaws while also being empathetic. It's devastating, proving hard to watch, and maybe even harder to forget.

22 'The Act of Killing' (2012)

Director: joshua oppenheimer.

Though The Act of Killing isn't a horror movie by any means, it feels more brutal and terrifying than most could ever hope to be. It covers a difficult subject in a unique yet stomach-churning way, focusing on the Indonesian mass killings of 1965-1966 which saw somewhere between 500,000 and 1 million people being killed (mostly people associated with communism, or believed to be).

It follows various people who participated in these killings more than 40 years on from the events, with the filmmakers getting these individuals to recreate what they did through the guise of "making a film" in the hope they'll realize the brutality of their past actions. The Act of Killing is a daunting look at the dark side of human nature , as well as a terrible period in history that's still in living memory for many people living today.

The Act of Killing

A documentary which challenges former Indonesian death-squad leaders to reenact their mass-killings in whichever cinematic genres they wish, including classic Hollywood crime scenarios and lavish musical numbers.

Watch on Peacock

21 'The Thin Blue Line' (1988)

Director: errol morris.

The true crime genre has experienced a boom in the last five to 10 years, and on a streaming service like Netflix in particular, it seems difficult to avoid documentaries about crime. Many documentaries that are definable as true-crime owe a great deal to 1988's The Thin Blue Line , which was revolutionary for documentary filmmaking as a whole.

It follows the investigation surrounding the murder of a police officer in Dallas, criticizing certain aspects of how it was done, and arguing that the primary suspect might not have been as guilty as detectives believed. The Thin Blue Line was influential enough to impact criminal proceedings, ultimately highlighting how powerful a well-argued and intelligently presented documentary can be.

20 'Harlan County, USA' (1976)

Director: barbara kopple.

While Harlan County, USA may be almost 50 years old, it remains relevant, and will continue to feel vital for as long as workers don't feel fairly compensated for their work. It focuses on a specific 1973 strike in Harlan County, but the ideas and struggles explored here are relevant to various industries and groups of workers.

The "USA" part of the title could be referring to Harlan County, or it could be read as emphasizing that the sort of conflict here is something felt throughout the USA, back in the 1970s and to this day, too, with the recent Writer's Guild of America strike . The presentation in Harlan County, USA is simple, no-nonsense, and ultimately persuasive, ensuring it stands as a classic - and essential - work of documentary filmmaking.

19 'The Times of Harvey Milk' (1984)

Director: rob epstein.

Biographical stories can often be told more powerfully through documentaries than in traditional feature films (though the former isn't likely to earn as many Oscar nominations as the latter). This is demonstrated by 1984's The Times of Harvey Milk , because while the 2008 film Milk covers similar ground and is compelling, seeing it play out in a documentary is even more powerful.

As the title implies, this documentary covers the life and career of Harvey Milk - both cut tragically short by his assassination in 1978. The Times of Harvey Milk aims to celebrate what he accomplished for gay rights in America while mourning his untimely passing , and serves as an emotional and extremely well-presented look at Milk and his life.

18 'Free Solo' (2018)

Directors: jimmy chin, elizabeth chai vasarhelyi.

Viewers with acrophobia should stay well away from Free Solo , because it can be genuinely hard to watch for anyone who has even a slight fear of heights. It follows Alex Honnold as he attempts to climb a 3000-foot-high rock face by himself, and without the safeguards of ropes or safety gear.

As far as "man versus nature" documentary movies go, this is easily one of the greatest of all time, and in a way, ends up being more heart-racing than the vast majority of blockbuster thrillers out there (even the great ones). As far as adrenaline-rush documentaries go, few can compete with what Free Solo pulls off.

Alex Honnold faces the biggest challenge of his career, climbing El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He pursues it Free Solo, which means climbing without a rope and alone.

Watch on Disney+

17 'American Movie' (1999)

Director: chris smith.

A heartwarming and funny documentary , American Movie is one of the essential documentaries about the filmmaking process of the last few decades . It centers on independent filmmaker Mark Borchardt and his attempts to complete his movie, an unusual horror film about addiction and demonic cults called Coven .

It's one of those films that's likely to hit home for anyone who's undertaken a daunting creative project before, or even those who've ever dreamed of fulfilling their creative desires. It celebrates art - no matter the budget or the technical qualities - and even for non-creatives, is likely to provide plenty of entertainment value thanks to its humor and down-to-earth charms.

Rent on Apple TV

16 'Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse' (1991)

Directors: eleanor coppola, fax bahr, george hickenlooper.

While American Movie shows the struggles of independent filmmaking, Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse - released at the other end of the 1990s - looks at the struggles of big-budget filmmaking. It follows the infamous production of Apocalypse Now , a film that ended up being a classic, but was plagued with just about every problem under the sun before release.

For as harrowing as the psychologically tense and violent war film is, Hearts of Darkness makes the fight to get the film made look equally brutal and mentally devastating . Francis Ford Coppola and the rest of the cast and crew went to hell and back to make one of the greatest films of the 1970s, and this documentary captures that nightmarish production in stark, eye-opening detail.

Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse

15 'the beaches of agnès' (2008), director: agnès varda.

Agnès Varda was one of the greatest and most creative French filmmakers of all time. She was known for both her feature films and her documentary work, and while titles like Cléo from 5 to 7 and Vagabond are her best-known when it comes to the former, 2008's The Beaches of Agnès is probably her greatest achievement for the latter.

It plays out like a visual autobiography, with Varda reflecting on her youth, her filmmaking career, and her relationship with fellow French filmmaker Jacques Demy . The Beaches of Agnès is touching, entertaining, visually dazzling, and thought-provoking , all thanks to Varda's unique outlook on life, and could serve as a good introduction to the filmmaker's immense body of work.

14 'Man with a Movie Camera' (1929)

Director: dziga vertov.

Without Man with a Movie Camera , the entire documentary format may look entirely different today. It's likely one of the most important and influential documentaries of all time, using inventive visuals and creative editing techniques to show how life was in the Soviet Union during the 1920s.

Beyond that premise, there isn't really a whole to this silent film. Yet the style is what makes it dazzling and engaging to this day, and even if it doesn't grab all modern viewers, surely everyone can recognize its significance for the documentary format as a whole. At only 68 minutes long, documentary fans don't exactly have an excuse not to at least give it a shot.

Watch on Vudu

13 'Woodstock' (1970)

Director: michael wadleigh.

Woodstock is far from the only iconic concert film (more on those below), but it covers what many would argue was the most significant live music event of all time. That was 1969's Woodstock Music & Art Festival, an event that went for three days, saw 32 different musical acts perform, and was attended by more than 400,000 people.

A huge film is needed to capture such a large-scale event, and Woodstock is more than up to the task. The theatrical cut runs for over three hours, and a director's cut runs for almost four, with it capturing some iconic live music (including performances by Jimi Hendrix , Janis Joplin , and The Who ) as well as documenting what the festival was like for those attending, and the ways organizers dealt with certain issues that came about while the festival was underway.

12 'Stop Making Sense' (1984)

Director: jonathan demme.

Stop Making Sense isn't just one of the best films of 1984 ; it's right up there as one of the best concert films of all time. It documents new wave band Talking Heads at their creative and commercial peak, going through an excellent tracklist over 88 glorious, upbeat, entertaining minutes.

There isn't much of a message or story here, of course, but the way it's shot, edited, and paced is certainly more intricate than most concert films. Stop Making Sense is the gold standard for how music documentaries about concerts should look and feel , and an essential watch, regardless of whether you're a big Talking Heads fan.

Watch in Cinemas

11 'Paris Is Burning' (1990)

Director: jennie livingston.

Despite only running for about 70 minutes, Paris Is Burning covers many years, focusing on the New York drag scene throughout much of the 1980s. It looks at a subculture that was likely underground and unseen for many people during that time, and gives those who belong to it a chance in the spotlight.

Paris Is Burning holds up as one of the most important documentaries of the 1990s, and one that is still relevant today , even if these sorts of subcultures are a little more well-known today. It shows the power that documentary films have when it comes to raising awareness for different people and groups, and for doing so here with an LGBTQ subculture, Paris Is Burning is a landmark.

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"The Kindness of Strangers" by Ruben Martinez
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COMMENTS

"The Kindness of Strangers" by Ruben Martinez Essay
In the words of Martinez, "We are immigrants who despise immigrants". It appears to Martinez that the concept of "erasing borders" (opening a door to a stranger) is one that most North Americans want to distance themselves from; which is demonstrated in an attitude that is inhospitable toward illegal immigrants.
PDF THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
4 THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS Reading for Relation:Writing for Insight - Discussion Guide 5 3. In Susan Austin's poem, The Sweet and the Dark, what is it that shifts Austin's attitude toward the drunk man? Have you had a revelatory or re-evaluative moment like that in relation to
Essay about The Kindness of a Stranger
Essay about The Kindness of a Stranger. "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." The most joyous season of the year in our house is Christmas. All the family gets together, gifts are exchanged and we give thanks for all that we have. This Christmas however, was one that I will never forget.
The Kindness of Strangers
Zofia Swiatek. It is quite peculiar that when a stranger is kind to us while travelling, it's immediately obvious to both parties that the favour cannot be returned — soon, we will be again physically distant, and lost to each other forever. We pass each other for only a moment in our lives, a chance encounter with no past and likely no future.
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The Kindness of a Stranger. Earlier this week I was at an eye doctor appointment for a second opinion about several diagnoses expected to result in my blindness. I just turned 30. In the waiting room a gentleman began to talk with me. I'm a very private person and was somewhat reluctant to engage in the conversation, but ended up telling him ...
Essays: The Kindness of Strangers
It's more likely, although still unlikely, that the stranger is up to no good. As a species, we tend help each other, and a surprising amount of our security and safety comes from the kindness of strangers. During disasters: floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, bridge collapses. In times of personal tragedy. And even in normal times.
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Some people shoot an annoyed glare or a frightened look when a stranger speaks to them. A friendly smile is not always reciprocated. I know that in some countries, this overt friendliness is not ...
The Kindness of Strangers
The kindness of strangers can have a profound impact on our daily lives. It's often the small, seemingly insignificant gestures that can make a big difference in our mood, attitude, and overall ...
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The Kindness Of Strangers. Free 7-Day Course. Click any word to translate. In the summer of 2014, Joe Robinson found something unexpected in a pot he was selling at an arts festival. It was a $100 bill with the name "Benny" written on it. Joe was at a loss for words on how the money ended up in one of his handmade pots.
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Teen essay winner: Single mother is 'the definition of empowerment' That night, a stranger unexpectedly left us a gift on our front door step. There was a basket filled with small toys and ...
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I live in a house built by Habitat for Humanity, and it was through the process of building my home that I came to believe in the kindness of strangers. I am a single mother, always struggling to juggle home and work. I had managed to save for a small down payment on a house; however when the housing market broke open, the prices went up to an ...
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The kindness of strangers Sometimes the people who get you through are total strangers who make a difference in your day or life and move on, oblivious. By Carolyn R. Russell October 21, 2012, 12: ...
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This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by Bucknell Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Bucknell Believes by an ... I believe in the kindness of strangers, and in the wisdom of both giving and receiving that kindness. Title: The Kindness of Strangers Author: Mick Smyer Created Date: 11/2/2013 5:14:56 AM ...
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Here are 30 stories on kindness that touched your lives—and our hearts. A couple of years ago, I stumbled off the subway in Upper Manhattan, exhausted after a long and stressful day at work ...
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Human Advantage #3—Our lives depend on how we are linked with others. Posted November 20, 2020. Source: Photo by Brett Sayles from Pexels. For humans, the facts of life can be hard to swallow ...
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The Kindness of Strangers. Don George, Donald W. George. Lonely Planet, 2003 - Psychology - 271 pages. Lonely Planet's latest collection explores the unexpected acts of kindness that can occur on the road: those unforgettable human connections that transform our travels. The stories depict a rich assortment of misadventures and predicaments ...
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Essay about The Kindness of a Stranger "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." --- Mark Twain The most joyous season of the year in our house is Christmas. All the family gets together, gifts are exchanged and we give thanks for all that we have. This Christmas however, was one that I will never ...
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A crowd of around 100 people gathered together, and in an amazing act of co-ordinated altruism, lifted the bus so that the man could be freed. According to a paramedic who treated the man, this ...
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Kindness to a Stranger. It was a chilly evening in Southern Virginia many years ago. There was the old man whose beards were glazed by the winter's frost, as he hopelessly waited for a ride across the river. Due to the frigid north wind, his body was numb and stiff. Edward, who was passing by saw this desperate old man, who looked so confused ...
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The Kindness of a Stranger. 920 Words2 Pages. "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." --- Mark Twain. The most joyous season of the year in our house is Christmas. All the family gets together, gifts are exchanged and we give thanks for all that we have. This Christmas however, was one that I will never forget.
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00:01:43. An anonymous stranger recently made the day for a group of seniors on an outing to a local restaurant by leaving $100 behind with wait staff to help cover the bill. On May 22, a small ...
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Human kindness is a frequent and universal behavior. This week, Cameron Whiting, 31, was finishing his morning 1.5-mile ocean swim in Del Mar, California, when he heard a woman scream, "Shark ...
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The Act of Killing. NR. A documentary which challenges former Indonesian death-squad leaders to reenact their mass-killings in whichever cinematic genres they wish, including classic Hollywood ...