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The best statements tend to be genuine and specific from the very start. You'll be on the right track if you show your enthusiasm for the subject or course, your understanding of it, and what you want to achieve.
Admissions tutors – the people who read and score your personal statement – say don’t get stressed about trying to think of a ‘killer opening’. Discover the advice below and take your time to think about how best to introduce yourself.
Preparing to write your personal statement.
Start by making some notes . The personal statement allows admissions tutors to form a picture of who you are. So, for the opener, think about writing down things, such as:
If you’re applying for multiple courses , think about how your skills, academic interests, and the way you think are relevant to all the courses you've chosen.
We spoke to admissions tutors at unis and colleges – read on for their tips.
Try not to overthink the opening sentence. You need to engage the reader with your relevant thoughts and ideas, but not go overboard .
Tutors said: ‘The opening is your chance to introduce yourself, to explain your motivation for studying the course and to demonstrate your understanding of it. The best personal statements get to the point quickly. Go straight in. What excites you about the course and why do you want to learn about it more?’
Be succinct and draw the reader in, but not with a gimmick. This isn't the X Factor. Admissions tutor
Think about why you want to study the course and how you can demonstrate this in your written statement :
’Your interest in the course is the biggest thing. Start with a short sentence that captures the reason why you’re interested in studying the area you’re applying for and that communicates your enthusiasm for it. Don't waffle or say you want to study something just because it's interesting. Explain what you find interesting about it.’
It's much better to engage us with something interesting, relevant, specific and current in your opening line… Start with what's inspiring you now, not what inspired you when you were six. Admissions tutor
Try to avoid cliches and the most obvious opening sentences so you stand out from the very first line . UCAS publishes a list of common opening lines each year. Here are just some overused phrases to avoid using in your personal statement:
And try not to use quotes . Quotations are top of the list of admissions tutors' pet hates.
’Concentrate on the main content of your statement and write the introduction last. I think the opening line is the hardest one to write, so I often say leave it until the end and just try and get something down on paper.’
It may be easier to get on with writing the main content of your statement and coming back to the introduction afterwards –that way you will also know what you’re introducing.
I often advise applicants to start with paragraph two, where you get into why you want to study the course. That's what we're really interested in. Admissions tutor
Don’t be tempted to copy or share your statement.
UCAS scans all personal statements through a similarity detection system to compare them with previous statements.
Any similarity greater than 30% will be flagged and we'll inform the universities and colleges to which you have applied.
Joseph bolton: year 2 history& politics student, university of liverpool.
Think about making a link between your opening sentence and closing paragraph – a technique sometimes called the 'necklace approach’.
You can reinforce what you said at the start or add an extra dimension. For example, if you started with an interesting line about what’s currently motivating you to study your chosen degree course, you could link back to it at the end, perhaps with something about why you’d love to study this further at uni.
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Check the application of every school to which you’re applying, but in general, you should follow these guidelines.
I prefer a one-line header. Put your name on the left, your LSAC number in the middle, and the words “Personal Statement,” followed by a page number, on the right. It looks like this:
In case you’re not comfortable with Word headers, I’ve made a correctly formatted .docx file with a one-line header. Click here to download the sample text, then substitute your information for the placeholders.
You can also put all the information on the right-hand side, in three lines, like this:
If you use a three-line header on the first page, you may want to use a shorter header—name, page number—on subsequent pages.
I’ve implemented this formatting in the personal statement format sample .
Learn about our admissions consulting and editing services .
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If you’re applying to college, you’ll most likely need to write a personal statement as part of your college application. (And please note that the personal statement examples below are for undergraduate applications—if you’re trying to find grad school statement of purpose examples , please head to that link.)
But before diving into analyzing some great personal statement examples, it helps to get some context on what a personal statement actually is, and what writers should plan to include when writing their own personal statement.
It’s the main essay required by the Common Application as well as most other application systems. They basically require you to answer some version of the question “Who are you, and what do you value?” And in recent years, the main Common Application essay has become more and more important in colleges’ decision making process, especially as many colleges are relying less and less on standardized test scores.
In our work with students, we often encourage students to review examples of personal statements to get a sense of what a great essay might look like and to just generally share a wide range of topics, structures, and writing styles so that they can see what’s possible when writing this essay. In this spirit, we’re sharing 12 of our favorite examples from the past few years. We’ve also included analysis for what makes them outstanding to (hopefully) help you uplevel your own essay.
The personal statement should demonstrate the qualities, skills, and values that you’ve cultivated over your life and how those skills have prepared you for attending college. I (Ethan) have spent the last 15 years answering this question, which you can learn more about in my free 1-hour guide .
In our opinion, a great personal statement example has 4 qualities . After reading the essay, you can identify whether your essay or topic show each of the four qualities by asking yourself the questions below:
Values : Can you name at least 4-5 of the author’s core values? Do you detect a variety of values, or do the values repeat?
Vulnerability : Does the essay sound like it’s mostly analytical or like it’s coming from a deeper, more vulnerable place? Does it sound like the author wrote it using mostly his or her head (intellect) or his or her heart and gut? After reading the essay, do you know more about the author AND feel closer to him or her?
Insight : Can you identify at least 3-5 “so what” moments of insight in the essay? Are these moments kind of predictable, or are they truly illuminating?
Craft : Do the ideas in the essay connect in a way that is logical, but not too obvious (aka boring)? Can you tell that the essay represents a series of carefully considered choices and that the author spent a lot of time revising the essay over the course of several drafts?
Want a more thorough guide on how to write a personal statement? We’ve got you covered.
Let’s read some essays.
Day 19: I am using my school uniform as a slate to tally the days. As the ink slowly seeps through the fabric of my shirt, I begin to understand that being a conscious Arab comes with a cost. Flashback. Day 7: I come across a live stream on social media, 1,200 Palestinian political prisoners are on their seventh day of a hunger strike against the Israeli occupation. It is the first I have heard of its occurrence. I allow myself to follow the news daily through social media while regional mainstream media and our local news channels refrain from reporting any news of the strike. Day 13: I am engulfed by the cry for justice. I feel helplessly overwhelmed, not wanting to confront reality, but I force myself to anyway; actively searching, refreshing my phone to tune into live streams from protests, plugging in “Palestinian hunger strike” on the search engine to stay connected to the cause. Day 18: No one else seems to know anything about what is going on. I am compelled to find a way to embody the struggle. In my first period class, I see a marker beside the whiteboard. I pick it up, not sure what I’m going to do, but then hear myself asking my classmates to each draw a vertical line on my shirt. It seems funny at first--they laugh, confused. But each time the marker touches the fabric it tells a story. It is a story of occupied countries, a story in which resisting apartheid becomes synonymous with criminality, a story we refuse to address because we have grown too apathetic to value life beyond our borders. As my classmates draw the tally, together we tell the story of the hunger strike and mourn the distance human beings have created between each other. Day 20: My uniform has become a subject of question. Each pair of eyes that fix their gaze on the ink, I share the story of our Palestinian compatriots. The initial responses are the same: disbelief, followed by productive conversation on our moral responsibility to educate ourselves on the conflict. Day 28: Each day the strike continues, I have asked my classmates to draw another line on the tally. While it still comes across as unsettling, it seems to no longer represent the reality of the hunger strike. My classmates are no longer interested in what it means. I am supposed to move on already. I am called in to the principal’s office. After being instructed to get a new shirt, I choose to challenge the order. As long as the hunger strike lasts, I will continue to voice the reality of the hundreds of prisoners, in hopes of recreating the sense of responsibility I originally sensed in my peers. Day 41: A compromise deal is offered to the political prisoners and they suspend their hunger strike. I walk out of school with a clean uniform and feel whole again, but unnaturally so. I was left feeling an unspoken kind of weakness where I broke under the realisation that not all sorrows could resonate with people enough for me to expect them to lead movements. I would need to be the one to lead, to recreate the energy that the tally once inspired. I decided to found a political streetwear brand, Silla, where fashion choices transcend superficial aesthetics by spreading a substantial message of equality and donating the profits to NGOs that advocate for social change. Through Silla, I am able to stay in touch with my generation, keeping them engaged with issues because of how they can now spend their money Silla has mobilized people to voice their opinions that align with equity and equality. Because of my adherence to justice, I was elected student government president and I use it as a platform to be vigilant in reminding my peers of their potential, inspiring them to take action and be outspoken about their beliefs. When the ink seeped through the fabric of my uniform it also stained my moral fibres, and will forever remind me that I am an agent of change. — — —
Uncommon topic and uncommon connections. Overall, this is just a stand out piece. The unique story of how the author had lines drawn on her shirt pulls the reader in. But while this story is not something you’d typically find in other people’s applications, don’t feel intimidated. Having an uncommon topic makes writing a strong essay a bit easier, but by itself is not enough for a great essay. What really elevates this piece is the connections and observations that the author makes about her classmates and the school’s collective response to distant but important political conflict. The student does a great job evoking the emotional response of her peers and beautifully articulates her own indignation with the apathy that emerges. When you write your essay, consider how you can use uncommon connections to take your reader to places they may not have expected to go.
Experimental structure. One of the many cool things about this essay is its structure, which demonstrates the quality of craft . The author uses a montage structure that emphasizes numbers and chronology, two ideas that are central to the content of the piece itself. By playing with the idea of time and distance, the applicant emphasizes some of the critical ideas in her essay and shows that she’s unafraid to think outside the box. Remember, admissions officers read tons of personal statements; an uncommon structure can go a long way in setting you apart from the crowd.
Answers the question “so what?” The thing that really brings this essay home is the last paragraph. Although the story of the uniform being marked by lines for each day of the hunger strike is fascinating, we’re not totally sure of its relevance to the life of the author until she gets to that last bit. In it, she tells us about her politically-aware fashion line and her appointment as school president. This answers the question of “so what” because it shows us that she took the lessons she learned during the strike and applied it to her life outlook/practices more broadly. After you’ve written your first draft, go back through it and make sure you’ve clearly shown what you’ve done to act upon your reflections or values .
Day 1: “Labbayka Allāhumma Labbayk. Labbayk Lā Sharīka Laka Labbayk,” we chant, sweat dripping onto the wispy sand in brutal Arabian heat, as millions of us prepare to march from the rocky desert hills of Mount Arafat to the cool, flat valleys of Muzdalifa. As we make our way into the Haram, my heart shakes. Tears rolling down my cheeks, we circumvent the Ka’ba one last time before embarking on Hajj, the compulsory pilgrimage of Islam. It became the spiritual, visceral, and linguistic journey of a lifetime. Day 3: “Ureed an Aśhtareę Hijab.” “Al-harir aw al-Qathan?” “Ķhilaahuma.” “Kham ťhamanu-huma?” “Mi’at Riyal.” “La. Khizth sab’een.” “Sa’uethikhá Sab’een.” “Shukran laķ.” “Show me hijabs.” “Silk or cotton?” “Both.” “How much do these cost?” “100 Riyal.” “No. Take 70.” “Fine. Thanks Hajjah.” In Makkah, I quickly learn shopkeepers rip off foreigners, so exchanges like this, where I only have to say a few Arabic words, make me appear local. It also connects me with real locals: the Saudi Arabian pharmacist who sells me cough syrup, the Egyptian grandmother seeking directions to the restroom, the Moroccan family who educates me on the Algerian conflict. As the sounds of Arabic swirl around me like the fluttering sands (Jamal, Naqah, Ibl, Ba’eer…), I’m reconnecting with an old friend: we’d first met when I decided to add a third language to English and Bengali. Day 6: The tents of Mina. Temperature blazing. Humidity high. I sleep next to an old woman who just embarked on her twentieth Hajj. When I discover she’s Pakistani, I speak to her in Urdu. Her ninety-year old energy--grounded, spiritual, and non-materialistic--inspires me. So far, every day has been a new discovery of my courage, spirit, and faith, and I see myself going on this journey many more times in my life. My new friend is curious where I, a Bengali, learned Urdu. I explain that as a Muslim living in America’s divided political climate, I wanted to understand my religion better by reading an ancient account of the life of Prophet Muhammad, but Seerat-un-Nabi is only in Urdu, so I learned to read it. I was delighted to discover the resonances: Qi-yaa-mah in Arabic becomes Qi-ya-mat in Urdu, Dh-a-lim becomes Zaa-lim… Urdu, which I had previously only understood academically, was the key to developing a personal connection with a generation different from mine. Day 8: “Fix your hair. You look silly,” my mom says in Bengali. When my parents want to speak privately, they speak our native tongue. Phrases like, “Can you grab some guava juice?” draw us closer together. My parents taught me to look out for myself from a young age, so Hajj is one of the only times we experienced something formative together. Our “secret” language made me see Bengali, which I’ve spoken all my life, as beautiful. It also made me aware of how important shared traditions are. As I think back to those sweltering, eclectic days, the stories and spiritual connections linger. No matter what languages we spoke, we are all Muslims in a Muslim country, the first time I’d ever experienced that. I came out of my American bubble and discovered I was someone to be looked up to. Having studied Islam my whole life, I knew the ins and outs of Hajj. This, along with my love for language, made me, the youngest, the sage of our group. Whether at the Al-Baik store in our camp or the Jamarat where Satan is stoned, people asked me about standards for wearing hijab or to read the Quran out loud. I left the journey feeling fearless. Throughout my life, I’ll continue to seek opportunities where I’m respected, proud to be Muslim, and strong enough to stand up for others. The next time I go to Hajj, I want to speak two more languages: donc je peux parler à plus de gens and quiero escuchar más historias. — — —
It’s visceral and evocative. Details about the specific resonance of Urdu words and the conversations this author shared with the people they met on their Hajj brings this essay to life. Nearly every line is full of vivid imagery and textured language . Those details make this piece fun to read and truly bring us into the world of the author. Whenever you’re writing, think about how you can engage all five senses to show, not simply tell, how you experienced something.
It uses images to convey a sense of time, place, and self. Notice how this author’s use of images and details give this personal statement a dream-like quality, hopping between spaces, people, languages, and thoughts. As a result, the author is able to talk about so many different aspects of their culture. The way the details are conveyed also speaks to the aesthetic sensibilities of the author, providing another window into who they are as a person. When you’re writing, think about how you can use imagistic language to show the reader what you care about.
It uses dialogue effectively. Dialogue isn’t always the best strategy, as it can take up a good chunk of your word count without explicitly saying anything about who you are. In this piece, however, the author does a great job of using their conversations with people they meet along their journey to convey their values and interests. Not only does the dialogue emphasize their fascination with language and cultural exchange, but it breaks up what would have been dense paragraphs into nice manageable chunks that are easier to read.
12 is the number of my idol, Tom Brady. It’s the sum of all the letters in my name. It’s also how old I was when I started high school. In short, I skipped two grades: first and sixth. Between kindergarten and eighth grade, I attended five schools, including two different styles of homeschooling (three years at a co-op and one in my kitchen). Before skipping, I was perennially bored. But when I began homeschooling, everything changed. Free to move as fast as I wanted, I devoured tomes from Jefferson, Hamilton, and Madison to London, Kipling, and Twain. I wrote 10-page papers on subjects from Ancient Sparta and military history to the founding of the United States and the resounding impact of slavery. I discovered more than I ever had, kindling a lifelong joy for learning. While high school offered welcome academic opportunities--studying two languages and taking early science APs chief among them--the social environment was a different beast. Many classmates considered me more a little brother than a true friend, and my age and laser focus on academics initially made me socially inept. I joined sports teams in spring and built better relationships, but my lack of size (5’1”) and strength relegated me to the end of the bench. Oftentimes, I secretly wished I was normal age. That secret desire manifested itself in different ways. While I’ve loved football since I was a little kid, I soon became obsessed with personal success on the gridiron--the key, I figured, to social acceptance and the solution to my age problem. I had grown up obsessively tracking my New England Patriots. Now, instead of armchair quarterbacking, I poured hours into throwing mechanics and studying film after my homework each night. Itching to grow, I adopted Brady’s diet, cutting dairy, white flour, and processed sugar. But in the rush to change, my attitude towards academics shifted; I came to regard learning as more a job than a joy. No matter what talents I possessed, I viewed myself as a failure because I couldn’t play. That view held sway until a conversation with my friend Alex, the fastest receiver on the team. As I told him I wished we could switch places so I could succeed on the gridiron, he stared incredulously. “Dude,” he exclaimed, “I wish I was you!” Hearing my friends voice their confidence in my abilities prompted me to reflect: I quickly realized I was discounting my academic talents to fit a social construct. Instead of pushing myself to be something I wasn’t, I needed to meld my talents and my passions. Instead of playing sports, I recognized, I should coach them. My goal to coach professionally has already helped me embrace the academic side of the game—my side—rather than sidelining it. I have devoured scouting tomes, analyzed NFL game film, spoken with pros like Dante Scarnecchia, and even joined the American Football Coaches Association. Translating that coach’s mentality into practice, I began explaining the concepts behind different plays to my teammates, helping them see the subtleties of strategy (despite Coach Whitcher’s complaints that I was trying to steal his job). And I discovered that my intellectual understanding of the game is far more important in determining my success than my athletic tools: with the discipline, adaptability, and drive I had already developed, I’ve become a better player, student, and friend. Physically and mentally, I’ve changed a lot since freshman year, growing 11 inches and gaining newfound confidence in myself and my abilities. Instead of fighting for social acceptance, I’m free to focus on the things I love. Academically, that change re-inspired me. Able to express my full personality without social pressure, I rededicated myself in the classroom and my community. I still secretly wish to be Tom Brady. But now, I’m happy to settle for Bill Belichick. — — —
There’s a wonderful hook. The first line is great. It’s funny, intriguing, and doesn’t give too much away. In just the first bit we already know that the author is a football enthusiast, detail-oriented, and academically gifted. Not only does it tell us a lot about him, but it allows him to transition into the meat of his story about how his unconventional educational trajectory influenced the person he is today. Think about how you can use the first sentence or two of your personal statement to effectively introduce readers to your narrative voice and rope them into reading more.
It has a great “Aha!” moment. Great personal statements often convey growth. In this example, the author struggles to find a place for himself in high school after skipping two grades and being homeschooled for a significant portion of his life. It isn’t until his friend on the football team affirms his value that he starts to see all of the ways in which his unique skills benefit the people around him. If you think of your essay like a movie reel of your life, this moment is sort of like the climax. It’s when the mindset of the main character changes and allows him to embrace what he’s got. The anticipation and release of this “aha moment” keeps readers engaged in the piece and demonstrates your ability, as the applicant, to be self-reflective and adaptable to change.
It covers a broad time frame, but still fits in tons of nice details. This essay essentially talks about the author’s life from 5th grade to present day. He’s not focusing on one specific moment. This is absolutely something you can do as well if you want to demonstrate how you’ve grown over a longer period of time. However, notice that the author here doesn’t sacrifice depth for breadth. Even though he’s covering a pretty significant chunk of time, he still touches on great details about his favorite classes and authors, football role models, and conversations with friends. These are what make the essay great and specific to his life. If you’re going to talk about more than just one event or moment, don’t forget to highlight important details along the way.
Personal statement example #4 flying.
As a young child, I was obsessed with flying. I spent hours watching birds fly, noting how the angle of their wings affected the trajectory of their flight. I would then waste tons of fresh printer paper, much to the dismay of my parents, to test out various wing types by constructing paper airplanes. One day, this obsession reached its fever pitch. I decided to fly. I built a plane out of a wooden clothes rack and blankets, with trash bags as precautionary parachutes. As you can imagine, the maiden flight didn’t go so well. After being in the air for a solid second, the world came crashing around me as I slammed onto the bed, sending shards of wood flying everywhere. Yet, even as a five-year-old, my first thoughts weren’t about the bleeding scratches that covered my body. Why didn’t the wings function like a bird’s wings? Why did hitting something soft break my frame? Why hadn’t the parachutes deployed correctly? Above all, why didn’t I fly? As I grew older, my intrinsic drive to discover why stimulated a desire to solve problems, allowing my singular passion of flying to evolve into a deep-seated love of engineering. I began to challenge myself academically, taking the hardest STEM classes offered . Not only did this allow me to complete all possible science and math courses by the end of my junior year, but it also surrounded me with the smartest kids of the grades above me, allowing me access to the advanced research they were working on. As such, I developed an innate understanding of topics such as protein function in the brain and differential equation modeling early in high school, helping me develop a strong science and math foundation to supplement my passion for engineering. I also elected to participate in my school’s engineering pathway . As a team leader, I was able to develop my leadership skills as I identified and utilized each member’s strength to produce the best product. I sought to make design collaborative, not limited to the ideas of one person. In major group projects, such as building a hovercraft, I served as both president and devil’s advocate, constantly questioning if each design decision was the best option, ultimately resulting in a more efficient model that performed significantly better than our initial prototype. Most of all, I sought to solve problems that impact the real world . Inspired by the water crisis in India, I developed a water purification system that combines carbon nanotube filters with shock electrodialysis to both desalinate and purify water more efficiently and cost-effectively than conventional plants. The following year, I ventured into disease detection, designing a piezoresistive microcantilever that detected the concentration of beta-amyloid protein to medically diagnose a patient with Alzheimer’s disease, a use for cantilevers that hadn’t yet been discovered. The project received 1st Honors at the Georgia Science Fair. Working on these two projects, I saw the raw power of engineering – an abstract idea gradually becoming reality . I was spending most of my days understanding the why behind things, while also discovering solutions to prevalent issues. In a world that increasingly prioritizes a singular solution, I am captivated by engineering’s ability to continuously offer better answers to each problem. Thirteen years have passed since that maiden flight, and I have yet to crack physical human flight . My five-year-old self would have seen this as a colossal failure. But the intense curiosity that I found in myself that day is still with me. It has continued to push me, forcing me to challenge myself to tackle ever more complex problems, engrossed by the promise and applicability of engineering. I may never achieve human flight . However, now I see what once seemed like a crash landing as a runway, the platform off of which my love of engineering first took flight. — — —
The author isn’t afraid to ask questions. This writer is clearly a curious and intellectual person. The questions they ask in the first part of the essay (“Why didn’t the wings function like a bird’s wings? Why did hitting something soft break my frame? Why hadn’t the parachutes deployed correctly? Above all, why didn’t I fly?”) highlight that. In your essay, don’t shy away from asking tough questions. In the end, the author still hasn’t achieved human flight, but you can clearly see how his interest in the whys of life has propelled him to take on new engineering problems. Sometimes, you don’t need to answer the questions you pose for them to serve a purpose in your essay.
It returns back to where it started. There’s something satisfying about returning to your intro in your conclusion. In this case, the author comes back to his first flying experience and re-evaluates what the experience means to him now as well as how his thinking has evolved. Think of your essay as a circle (or maybe a blob depending on what you’re writing about). Your end should loop back to where you started after your narrative arc is mostly complete.
Uses specific jargon (but not too much). We might not know what a “piezoresistive microcantilever” is or how it relates to “beta-amyloid proteins,” but that’s not really the point of including it in this essay. By using these terms the author signals to us that he knows what he’s talking about and has a degree of expertise in engineering. On the flip side, you don’t want to use so much jargon that your reader has no idea what you’re saying. Including a little bit of field-specific language can go a long way, so you don’t want to overdo it. If you’re not sure what specific details or language to include, check out our 21 Details Exercise and see if that helps you brainstorm some ideas.
February 2011– My brothers and I were showing off our soccer dribbling skills in my grandfather’s yard when we heard gunshots and screaming in the distance. We paused and listened, confused by sounds we had only ever heard on the news or in movies. My mother rushed out of the house and ordered us inside. The Arab Spring had come to Bahrain. I learned to be alert to the rancid smell of tear gas. Its stench would waft through the air before it invaded my eyes, urging me inside before they started to sting. Newspaper front pages constantly showed images of bloodied clashes, made worse by Molotov cocktails. Martial Law was implemented; roaming tanks became a common sight. On my way to school, I nervously passed burning tires and angry protesters shouting “Yaskut Hamad! “ [“Down with King Hamad!”]. Bahrain, known for its palm trees and pearls, was waking up from a slumber. The only home I had known was now a place where I learned to fear. September 2013– Two and a half years after the uprisings, the events were still not a distant memory. I decided the answer to fear was understanding. I began to analyze the events and actions that led to the upheaval of the Arab Springs. In my country, religious and political tensions were brought to light as Shias, who felt underrepresented and neglected within the government, challenged the Sunnis, who were thought to be favored for positions of power. I wanted equality and social justice; I did not want the violence to escalate any further and for my country to descend into the nightmare that is Libya and Syria. September 2014– Pursuing understanding helped allay my fears, but I also wanted to contribute to Bahrain in a positive way. I participated in student government as a student representative and later as President, became a member of Model United Nations (MUN), and was elected President of the Heritage Club, a charity-focused club supporting refugees and the poor. As an MUN delegate, I saw global problems from perspectives other than my own and used my insight to push for compromise. I debated human rights violations in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict from an Israeli perspective, argued whether Syrian refugees should be allowed entry into neighboring European countries, and then created resolutions for each problem. In the Heritage Club, I raised funds and ran food drives so that my team could provide support for less fortunate Bahrainis. We regularly distributed boxed lunches to migrant workers, bags of rice to refugees and air conditioners to the poor. April 2016 – The Crown Prince International Scholarship Program (CPISP) is an intensive leadership training program where participants are chosen on merit, not political ideologies. Both Shia and Sunni candidates are selected, helping to diversify the future leadership of my country. I was shortlisted to attend the training during that summer. July 2016 – The CPISP reaffirmed for me the importance of cooperation. At first, building chairs out of balloons and skyscrapers out of sticks didn’t seem meaningful. But as I learned to apply different types of leadership styles to real-life situations and honed my communication skills to lead my team, I began to see what my country was missing: harmony based on trust. Bringing people together from different backgrounds and successfully completing goals—any goal—builds trust. And trust is the first step to lasting peace. October 2016 – I have only begun to understand my people and my history, but I no longer live in fear. Instead, I have found purpose. I plan to study political science and economics to find answers for the issues that remain unresolved in my country. Bahrain can be known for something more than pearl diving, palm trees, and the Arab Spring; it can be known for the understanding of its people, including me. — — —
Orients the reader in time. As you’ve seen in several other example essays already, date and time can be used very effectively to structure a piece. This author talks about an intensely political topic, which changed drastically over the course of a specific timeframe. Because of that, the use of timestamps elevates the piece and makes it easier for readers to follow the chronology of the story. If your essay topic is something that has changed significantly over time or has developed in a chronological way, this might be a great blueprint for you. Check out our Feelings and Needs Exercise to brainstorm for this kind of essay where you learn something along a narrative arc from Point A to Point B.
Gives us the right amount of context. When you’re talking about political or cultural issues or events, don’t assume that your reader has a base level of knowledge. Although you don’t want to spend too much time on the nitty gritty details of policy reform or history, you should offer your reader some sense of when something was taking place and why. The author of this piece does that very succinctly and accessibly in his “September 2013” entry.
Emphasizes the author’s role and contributions. With political topics, it’s easy to get carried away talking about the issue itself. However, remember that this is ultimately a personal statement, not a political statement. You want to make sure you talk about yourself in the essay. So, even though the author is discussing a huge event, he focuses on his participation in Model UN, CRISP, and Heritage Club. When possible, think about how big issues manifest in your day to day life as well as what you specifically are doing to take action.
Personal statement example #6 poop, animals and the environment.
I have been pooped on many times. I mean this in the most literal sense possible. I have been pooped on by pigeons and possums, house finches and hawks, egrets and eastern grays. I don’t mind it, either. For that matter, I also don’t mind being pecked at, hissed at, scratched and bitten—and believe me, I have experienced them all. I don’t mind having to skin dead mice, feeding the remaining red embryonic mass to baby owls. (Actually, that I do mind a little.) I don’t mind all this because when I’m working with animals , I know that even though they probably hate me as I patch them up, their health and welfare is completely in my hands. Their chances of going back to the wild, going back to their homes, rely on my attention to their needs and behaviors. My enduring interest in animals and habitat loss led me to intern at the Wildlife Center of Silicon Valley over the summer , and it was there that I was lucky enough to meet those opossum joeys that defecated on my shoes whenever I picked them up (forcing me to designate my favorite pair of shoes as animal hospital shoes, never to be worn elsewhere again). It was there that a juvenile squirrel decided my finger looked fit to suckle, and that many an angry pigeon tried to peck off my hands. And yet, when the internship ended, I found myself hesitant to leave . That hesitation didn’t simply stem from my inherent love of animals. It was from the sense of responsibility that I developed while working with orphaned and injured wildlife. After all, most of the animals are there because of us—the baby opossums and squirrels are there because we hit their mothers with our cars, raptors and coyotes end up there due to secondary rodenticide poisoning and illegal traps. We are responsible for the damage, so I believe we are responsible for doing what we can to help. And of course, there is empathy—empathy for the animals who lost their mothers, their homes, their sight and smell, their ability to fly or swim. I couldn’t just abandon them. I couldn’t just abandon them the same way I couldn’t let big oil companies completely devastate the Arctic, earth’s air conditioner . The same way I couldn’t ignore the oceans, where destructive fishing practices have been wiping out ocean life. These are not jobs that can be avoided or left half-finished. For some, the Arctic is simply too far away, and the oceans will always teem with life, while for others these problems seem too great to ever conquer. And while I have had these same feelings many times over, I organized letter-writing campaigns, protested, and petitioned the oil companies to withdraw. I campaigned in local parks to educate people on sustaining the seas. I hold on to the hope that persistent efforts will prevent further damage. I sometimes wonder if my preoccupation with social and environmental causes just makes me feel less guilty. Maybe I do it just to ease my own conscience, so I can tell people “At least I did something.” I hope that it’s not just that. I hope it’s because my mother always told me to treat others as I want to be treated, even if I sometimes took this to its logical extreme, moving roadkill to the bushes along the side of the road because “Ma, if I was hit by a car I would want someone to move me off the road, too.” The upshot is that I simply cannot walk away from injustice, however uncomfortable it is to confront it . I choose to act, taking a stand and exposing the truth in the most effective manner that I think is possible. And while I’m sure I will be dumped on many times, both literally and metaphorically, I won’t do the same to others. — — —
Another great hook. Much like the football essay, this one starts off with a bang. After hearing about all the pecking, hissing, pooping, and clawing that the author endured, chances are you want to read more. And notice how the initial pooping hook comes back in the last line of the essay.
The scope gets wider as the piece progresses. The author starts with specific details about an internship opportunity then gradually works her way to broader topics about social justice and environmental activism. Every part of the piece emphasizes her values, but they are more explicitly stated towards the end. This trajectory is nice because it allows the reader to ease themselves into the world of the author and then see how specific opportunities or interests connect to broader goals or ambitions. When you’re revising your essay, take a look at each paragraph and see if each one brings something new to the table or moves the narrative forward in some way.
It’s funny . This author does a great job of using humor as a tool to endear her to readers, but not as a crutch to lean on when she has nothing else to say. Not only is she cracking jokes about poop, but also deeply interrogating her own motivations for being interested in social and environmental activism. The balance of humor and genuine reflection is fun to read while also saying a lot about the author and her values/interests.
I subscribe to what the New York Times dubs “the most welcomed piece of daily e-mail in cyberspace.” Cat pictures? Kardashian updates? Nope: A Word A Day. Out of the collection of diverse words I received, one word stuck out to me in particular. Entoptic : relating to images that originate within the eye (as opposed to from light entering the eye). Examples of entoptic phenomena: floaters, thread-like fragments that appear to float in front of the eye but are caused by matter within the eye. (for a picture: https://wordsmith.org/words/entoptic.html) As I read through this entry, I was suddenly transported back to the first grade, when I was playing Pokémon Go one day with my friends during recess. Our version was epic: we escaped into virtual reality with our imagination rather than our phone screens, morphing into different Pokémon to do battle. My friend Ryan had just transformed into an invisible ghost-type Pokémon capable of evading my attacks. Flustered, I was attempting to evolve my abilities to learn to see the invisible. Between rubbing my eyes and squinting, I began to make out subtle specks in the air that drifted from place to place. Aha—the traces of the ghost Pokémon! I launched a thunderbolt straight through the air and declared a super-effective knockout. ...Of course, I never was able to explain what I was seeing to my bewildered friends that day in first grade. But after learning about entoptic phenomena, I realized that my entoptic adventure was not a hallucination but, in fact, one of my first intellectual milestones, when I was first able to connect meticulous observation of my environment to my imagination. Nowadays, I don’t just see minuscule entoptic phenomena: I see ghosts, too. Two of their names are Larry and Kailan, and they are the top-ranked players in the Exynos League. Exynos is the name of the elaborate basketball league I have created in my imagination over the last ten years of playing basketball on the neighborhood court in the evenings. As I play, I envision Larry and Kailan right there with me: reaching, stealing, and blocking. Undoubtedly, I might look a little silly when I throw the ball backwards as if Larry blocked my layup attempt—but imagining competitors defending me drives me to be precise in my execution of different moves and maneuvers. More than that, it is a constant motivator for all my endeavors: whether I’m researching for debate or studying for the next math contest, I am inventing and personifying new competitive ghosts that are hard at work every minute I’m off task. But I perceive perhaps the most vivid images through music, as I tell a different story with each piece I play on the violin. When I play Bach’s lively Prelude in E Major, for example, I visualize a mouse dashing up and down hills and through mazes to escape from an evil cat (à la Tom and Jerry). But when I play Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto, I describe a relationship plagued by unrequited love. I revel in the intellectual challenge of coming up with a story that is not only consistent with the composer’s annotations but also resonates with my own experiences. Between re-living Tom and Jerry episodes and shooting fadeaway three-pointers against ghosts, then, perhaps entoptic phenomena don’t tell my whole story. So, here’s my attempt—in the form of a word of the day, of course: Pokémon Boom : a legendary form of augmented reality so pure that it is commonly mistaken for hallucination. Denizens of this world are rumored to watch Netflix re-runs without WiFi and catch many a Pikachu via psychokinesis. — — —
It makes tons of uncommon connections. Think about the range of topics covered in this piece: words, Pokémon, basketball, ghosts, debate, math, and music (to name just a few). Yet the author uses the idea of imagination and its relation to vision to weave these disparate topics into a coherent narrative. In fact, his ability to do so emphasizes his ability to think creatively in ways that the average person may not. To find these, consider brainstorming everything you want colleges to know about you and then think of interesting ways in which these might intersect.
It doesn’t try to be overly intellectual. This essay spends most of its time talking about things that we wouldn’t traditionally consider “academic” or “college-y.” In fact, at least a third of it is devoted solely to Pokémon. The author briefly touches on his interest in math and debate, but otherwise it’s used more as a short example than a key point. The takeaway is: you don’t have to talk about classes or academic interests to write a killer essay. You absolutely can if you want to, but feel free to let your imagination run wild. If something excites or intrigues you, try writing a draft about it and see where it takes you.
It’s specific to the author. The combination of examples and insights you see in this essay truly couldn’t have been written by anyone else. Imagine you’re the admissions officer reading this application. It would absolutely stand out from the other essays in the bunch. Sure, other people play basketball. Sure, other people might like Pokémon or enjoy music. But, the particular way in which the author articulates his interests and connects them makes it memorable.
Since childhood, I have been an obsessive builder and problem solver . When I was 6, I spent two months digging a hole in my backyard, ruining the grass lawn, determined to make a giant koi pond after watching a show on HGTV. After watching Castaway when I was 7, I started a fire in my backyard--to my mother's horror--using bark and kindling like Tom Hanks did. I neglected chores and spent nights locked in my room drawing pictures and diagrams or learning rubik's cube algorithms while my mother yelled at me through the door to go to sleep. I've always been compulsive about the things I set my mind to. The satisfaction of solving problems and executing my visions is all-consuming. But my obsessive personality has helped me solve other problems, too. When I was 8, I taught myself how to pick locks . I always dreamed of how cool it must have been inside my brother’s locked bedroom. So I didn't eat at school for two weeks and saved up enough lunch money to buy a lockpicking set from Home Depot. After I wiggled the tension wrench into the keyhole and twisted it counterclockwise, I began manipulating the tumblers in the keyhole with the pick until I heard the satisfying click of the lock and entered the room. Devouring his stash of Lemonheads was awesome, but not as gratifying as finally getting inside his room. As the projects I tackled got bigger, I had to be more resourceful . One day in history class after reading about early American inventions, I decided to learn how to use a Spinning Jenny. When my parents unsurprisingly refused to waste $500 on an 18th century spinning wheel, I got to work visiting DIY websites to construct my own by disassembling my bike and removing the inner tube from the wheel, gathering string and nails, and cutting scrap wood. For weeks, I brushed my two cats everyday until I had gathered enough fur. I washed and soaked it, carded it with paddle brushes to align the fibers, and then spun it into yarn, which I then used to crochet a clutch purse for my grandmother on mother's day. She still uses it to this day. In high school, my obsessive nature found a new outlet in art . Being a perfectionist, I often tore up my work in frustration at the slightest hint of imperfection. As a result, I was slowly falling behind in my art class, so I had to seek out alternate solutions to actualize the ideas I had in my head. Oftentimes that meant using mixed media or experimenting with unconventional materials like newspaper or cardboard. Eventually I went on to win several awards, showcased my art in numerous galleries and magazines, and became President of National Art Honors Society. Taking four years of art hasn't just taught me to be creative, it’s taught me that there are multiple solutions to a problem. After high school I began to work on more difficult projects and I channeled my creativity into a different form of art - programming . I’m currently working on an individual project at the Schepens Institute at Harvard University. I'm writing a program in Matlab that can measure visual acuity and determine what prescription glasses someone would need. I ultimately plan to turn this into a smartphone app to be released to the general public. The fact is that computer coding is in many ways similar to the talents and hobbies I enjoyed as a child—they all require finding creative ways to solve problems . While my motivation to solve these problems might have been a childlike sense of satisfaction in creating new things, I have developed a new and profound sense of purpose and desire to put my problem solving skills to better our world. — — —
It turns a perceived weakness into a critical strength. At the beginning of the essay, the author talks about all of the problems she caused because of her obsession (ironically) with problem-solving. However, as the piece progresses, we begin to see how her childlike curiosity and interest in making things became a clear asset. It becomes a way of emphasizing values like resourcefulness, empathy, and dedication. In several other essay examples, we’ve highlighted this idea of growth. This example is no exception. Highlighting the ways in which you’ve changed or reframed your thinking is a great thing to show off to college admissions officers. If you know you’ve experienced some significant change but you’re not sure how to describe it, use our Feelings and Needs Exercise to get started.
There’s a discussion of what’s next. Many colleges are interested not only in what you’ve done, but also how you’d like to pursue your interests in the future. The author here spends some time at the end talking about her plans for a prescription-measuring smartphone app and her general interest in learning more about computer coding. While the piece has a clear conclusion, these examples highlight the ongoing nature of her educational journey and her openness to further learning. It answers the question of “ so what? ”
Personal statement example #9 the little porch and a dog.
It was the first Sunday of April. My siblings and I were sitting at the dinner table giggling and spelling out words in our alphabet soup. The phone rang and my mother answered. It was my father; he was calling from prison in Oregon. My father had been stopped by immigration on his way to Yakima, Washington, where he’d gone in search of work. He wanted to fulfill a promise he’d made to my family of owning our own house with a nice little porch and a dog. Fortunately, my father was bailed out of prison by a family friend in Yakima. Unfortunately, though, most of our life savings was spent on his bail. We moved into a rented house, and though we did have a porch, it wasn’t ours. My father went from being a costurero (sewing worker) to being a water-filter salesman, mosaic tile maker, lemon deliverer, and butcher. Money became an issue at home, so I started helping out more. After school I’d rush home to clean up and make dinner. My parents refused to let me have a “real” job, so on Saturday afternoons I’d go to the park with my older brother to collect soda cans. Sundays and summertime were spent cleaning houses with my mother. I worked twice as hard in school. I helped clean my church, joined the choir, and tutored my younger sister in math. As tensions eased at home, I returned to cheerleading, joined a school club called Step Up , and got involved in my school’s urban farm, where I learned the value of healthy eating. Slowly, life improved. Then I received some life-changing news. My father’s case was still pending and, due to a form he’d signed when he was released in Yakima, it was not only him that was now in danger of being deported, it was my entire family. My father’s lawyer informed me that I’d have to testify in court and in fact our stay in the US was now dependent on my testimony. The lawyer had an idea: I had outstanding grades and recommendation letters. If we could show the judge the importance of my family remaining here to support my education, perhaps we had a chance. So I testified. My father won his case and was granted residency. Living in a low-income immigrant household has taught me to appreciate all I’ve been given. Testifying in court helped me grow as a person, has made me more open-minded and aware of the problems facing my community. And my involvement in the urban farm has led me to consider a career as a nutritionist. Though neither of my parents attended college, they understand that college is a key factor to a bright future and therefore have been very supportive. And though we don't yet have the house with the small porch and the dog, we're still holding out hope. I believe college can help. — — —
Drops us in a moment in time. The beginning of this essay is a bit disorienting because it places us in a scene within the author’s life as they experience it. We don’t know all of the information, so we’re a bit confused, but that confusion makes us want to read more. This is a great tactic when done well because it helps us identify with the author and piques our curiosity.
Shows the agency, independence, and resilience of the applicant. The author here goes through a lot over the course of the essay. They have to face very real fears about incarceration, deportation, and financial instability on a daily basis. Talking about the ways in which they approached these obstacles highlights their ability to think clearly under pressure and make the most of what they have. If you have faced significant hardships , worked through them, learned valuable lessons, and want to share these with colleges, the personal statement can be a good place to do that. If you’d prefer to write about something else in your personal statement, but you’d still like to mention your challenges somewhere in your application, you can instead briefly describe them in your Additional Information section. If you want to write about struggles that are particularly related to COVID-19, check out our guide for specific suggestions.
Era el primer domingo de abril. Mis hermanos y yo estábamos sentados en la mesa del comedor riendonos y deletreando palabras en nuestra sopa de letras. El teléfono sonó y mi madre respondió. Era mi padre. El estaba llamando desde la cárcel en Oregon. Mi padre había sido detenido por inmigración en su camino a Yakima, Washington, donde había ido en busca de trabajo. Quería cumplir una promesa que le había hecho a mi familia de tener nuestra propia casa con un pequeño y agradable porche y un perro. Afortunadamente, mi padre fue rescatado de la cárcel por un amigo de la familia en Yakima. Pero lamentablemente la mayor parte de nuestros ahorros se gastó en su fianza . Nos mudamos a una casa alquilada, y aunque teníamos un porche, no era nuestra. Mi padre pasó de ser un costurero (trabajador de coser) de ser un vendedor de filtros de agua, fabricante de baldosas de mosaicos, libertador de limones, y carnicero. El dinero se convirtió en un problema en casa, así que comencé a ayudar más. Después de la escuela llegaba temprano a mi hogar para limpiar y preparar la cena. Mis padres se negaron a dejarme tener un trabajo "real.” Por lo tanto, los sábados por la tarde me iba al parque con mi hermano mayor para recoger latas de refrescos. En domingos y en el verano limpiaba casas con mi madre. Trabajé dos veces más duro en la escuela. Ayudé a limpiar mi iglesia, me uní al coro, y dí clases particulares a mi hermana menor en las matemáticas. Mientras las tensiones disminuyeron en casa, volví al grupo de porristas, me uní a un club escolar llamado Step Up, y me involucré en la granja urbana de mi escuela, donde aprendí el valor de la alimentación saludable. Poco a poco, la vida mejoraba. Luego recibí una noticia que cambia la vida. El caso de mi padre todavía estaba pendiente, y debido a una forma que había firmado cuando fue liberado en Yakima, no sólo era él que estaba ahora en peligro de ser deportado, era toda mi familia. El abogado de mi padre me informó que yo tendría que declarar ante los tribunales, y de hecho, nuestra estancia en los EE.UU. ahora dependia de mi testimonio. El abogado tuvo una idea: yo tenía sobresalientes calificaciones y cartas de recomendaciones. Si pudiéramos demostrar a la juez la importancia de que mi familia se quedará aquí para apoyar a mi educación, tal vez tuviéramos una oportunidad. Así que di mi testimonio. Mi padre ganó su caso y se le concedió la residencia. Vivir en un hogar de inmigrantes de bajos ingresos me ha enseñado a apreciar todo lo que se me ha dado . Dar mi testimonio en el tribunal me ha ayudado a crecer como persona y me ha hecho más consciente de los problemas que se enfrentan en mi comunidad. Y mi implicación en la granja urbana me ha llevado a considerar una carrera como nutricionista . Aunque ninguno de mis padres asistieron a la universidad, ellos entienden que la universidad es un factor clave para un futuro brillante, y por lo tanto, han sido un gran apoyo . Y aunque todavía no tenemos la casa con el pequeño porche y el perro, todavía estamos tendiendo la esperanza. Creo que la universidad puede ayudar. — — —
At six years old, I stood locked away in the restroom. I held tightly to a tube of toothpaste because I’d been sent to brush my teeth to distract me from the commotion. Regardless, I knew what was happening: my dad was being put under arrest for domestic abuse. He’d hurt my mom physically and mentally, and my brother Jose and I had shared the mental strain. It’s what had to be done. Living without a father meant money was tight, mom worked two jobs, and my brother and I took care of each other when she worked. For a brief period of time the quality of our lives slowly started to improve as our soon-to-be step-dad became an integral part of our family. He paid attention to the needs of my mom, my brother, and me. But our prosperity was short-lived as my step dad’s chronic alcoholism became more and more recurrent. When I was eight, my younger brother Fernando’s birth complicated things even further. As my step-dad slipped away, my mom continued working, and Fernando’s care was left to Jose and me. I cooked, Jose cleaned, I dressed Fernando, Jose put him to bed. We did what we had to do. As undocumented immigrants and with little to no family around us, we had to rely on each other. Fearing that any disclosure of our status would risk deportation, we kept to ourselves when dealing with any financial and medical issues. I avoided going on certain school trips, and at times I was discouraged to even meet new people. I felt isolated and at times disillusioned; my grades started to slip. Over time, however, I grew determined to improve the quality of life for my family and myself. Without a father figure to teach me the things a father could, I became my own teacher. I learned how to fix a bike, how to swim, and even how to talk to girls. I became resourceful, fixing shoes with strips of duct tape, and I even found a job to help pay bills. I became as independent as I could to lessen the time and money mom had to spend raising me. I also worked to apply myself constructively in other ways. I worked hard and took my grades from Bs and Cs to consecutive straight A’s. I shattered my school’s 1ooM breaststroke record, and learned how to play the clarinet, saxophone, and the oboe. Plus, I not only became the first student in my school to pass the AP Physics 1 exam, I’m currently pioneering my school’s first AP Physics 2 course ever. These changes inspired me to help others. I became president of the California Scholarship Federation, providing students with information to prepare them for college, while creating opportunities for my peers to play a bigger part in our community. I began tutoring kids, teens, and adults on a variety of subjects ranging from basic English to home improvement and even Calculus. As the captain of the water polo and swim team I’ve led practices crafted to individually push my comrades to their limits, and I’ve counseled friends through circumstances similar to mine. I’ve done tons, and I can finally say I’m proud of that. But I’m excited to say that there’s so much I have yet to do. I haven’t danced the tango, solved a Rubix Cube, explored how perpetual motion might fuel space exploration, or seen the World Trade Center. And I have yet to see the person that Fernando will become. I’ll do as much as I can from now on. Not because I have to. Because I choose to. — — —
Again, the author shows growth. We’ve said it a couple times, but it’s nice to highlight growth when possible. Although the author’s family circumstances and immigrant status meant he had to face significant hardships, he learned how to take care of themselves and use his obstacles as motivation to succeed. We see concrete signs of growth in the way he improved his grades and got more involved in school clubs like the California Scholarship Federation as well as athletic extracurriculars like swimming. Essentially, he shows how he made the best of his situation.
The author’s curiosity is palpable. One of the best things about this essay is the very end. The writer has already shown us how much he has had to overcome and how much he’s thrived in high school despite his circumstances. However, he doesn’t just stop. He tells us about all the other things he hopes to do and conveys a clear excitement at the possibility for learning in the future. There’s something lovely about seeing someone who is excited for what the future might hold. It endears him to readers and demonstrates his natural inclination to continue pushing forward, no matter what life might throw his way. Plus, it’s worth noting that he ends on the quality of autonomy , which was his #1 value when you completed the Values Exercise .
Umbra: the innermost, darkest part of a shadow The fifth set of chimes rings out and I press my hands against the dusty doors. My nose itches, but scratching would smudge the little black whiskers painted onto my face. I peer through the tiny crack between the cupboard doors, trying to glimpse the audience. The sixth set of chimes, my cue, begins, and I pop onto stage, the brilliant lights flooding my vision. Clara and Drosselmeyer stand to my left, and in front of me lies an endless ocean of audience. I pause a moment, taking it in, then do my best mouse scurry towards the wings. I love performing and dancing to connect with an audience. I dance to inspire others, to share my joy and passion, and because I love the rush of excitement while I’m surrounded by the stage lights . My hands, covered in grease, hurt terribly as I help another girl with the wire crimper. We force the handles together, and our Anderson connector is finally ready. People scurry around us—several students are riveting metal, assisted by my father (for me, robotics is a family activity), while another pair, including my younger brother, works on assembling the drive train. The next room is filled with shouted Java commands and autonomous code. I’m working on a system that will focus on the reflective tape on our target, allowing the camera to align our shooting mechanism. I love the comradery in robotics, the way teams support each other even amid intense competitions. I love seeing the real world application of knowledge, and take pride in competing in front of hundreds of people. Most of all, I love spending time with my family, connecting with them in our own unique way. Back in the electrical room, I plug in my connector, and the room is filled with bright green light . I pull on a pair of Nitrile gloves before grabbing my forceps. I carefully extract my latest Western Blot from its gel box, placing it on the imaging system. I’m searching for the presence of PARP1 and PLK1 in dysplasia and tumor cells, especially in reference to DNA damage and apoptosis. I’ve already probed the blot with a fluorescent reagent for imaging. On the screen, I see my bands of protein expression, the bands of red light showing PARP1 and the bands of green showing PLK1. I haven’t been doing research for long, but I’ve already fallen in love with constantly having something new to learn. Christmas carols play softly as I chase my little brother around the living room, trying to get him to wear a Santa hat. The smell of tamales wafts through the air as my mom and grandmother stand over the pot of mole sauce. The ornament boxes are opened on the floor, each one special to our family, representing our adventures, our love, our history. My dad is winding a mile-long string of lights around the tree, covering the room with a soft glow. My homemade gifts—hats, scarves, blankets I’ve knitted—lie messily wrapped beneath the tree. My family has made tamales on Christmas Eve for generations, and each year it’s a way for us to connect to both each other and our heritage. Light will usually travel in a perfectly straight line, but if it comes in contact with something it can bounce off it or bend around it, which is why people make shadows. The very innermost part of that shadow, the umbra, is where no light has bent around you—it has completely changed direction, bounced off. People are constantly changing and shaping the light around them, and never notice. But in hindsight, I see it’s the lights that have shaped me. — — —
It demonstrates craft. This author went through 10+ drafts of this essay, and her effort shows in her refined language and structure. She uses images to beautiful effect, drawing us into each experience in her montage, from the moments on stage to robotics to the lab to her family. She also demonstrates craft through the subtlety of her structural thread—we’ve bolded light above, to make it more obvious, but notice how she essentially saves what would traditionally be her introduction for her final paragraph (with some beautiful, refined phrasing therein), and uses “Umbra” and light to thread the paragraphs. This is very hard to pull off well, and is why she went through so many revisions, to walk a fine line between subtlety and clarity.
Show and tell. Rather than just “ Show, don’t tell ,” in a college essay, we think it’s useful to show your reader first, but then use some “telling” language to make sure they walk away with a clear understanding of what’s important to you. For example, this author shows her values through details/actions/experiences—more on values in a sec—then uses the ends of her body paragraphs to more directly tell us about those values and reflect on what they mean to her. And her final paragraph both shows and tells, using language that offers strong symbolism, while also ending with some poetic phrasing that tells us how this all comes together (in case we somehow missed it).
Values and insight/reflection. Because values are core to your essay and application, we’re going to end this post discussing them one more time. Notice how each paragraph demonstrates different values (art/performing, community, engagement, inspiration, joy/passion in the first paragraph alone) and reflects on how or why those values are important to her. We walk away with a strong sense of who this student is and what she would bring to our college campus.
My Twitter bio reads: angry brown girl, feminist, singer, meme-lover. You will notice live-tweets of my feminist Pride and Prejudice thoughts, analyses of Hamilton’s power for musical representation, and political memes. Just as my posts bring together seemingly disparate topics, I believe there is a vibrancy that exists at the multidimensional place where my interests intersect. Growing up as a debater and musician, it was easy to see the two as distinct entities where I had to make unequivocal choices. At the start of my junior year, I decided not to participate in the musical in order to work for Emerge California, an organization that helps Democratic women run for office. There I learned about data science, gender distributions in public office, and how to work with the evil printer. I also halted my voice and piano lessons to focus on building my student-led non-profit, Agents of Change. As someone who has diverted my energy into community activism, I can attest to the power of grassroots movements. It has been so rewarding to measure the impact that my team has had on my community. But even so, I felt that I was losing touch with the music that was such a profound part of me. I found a new way of being when I started combining my artsy and political sides. I took an intensive class on protest music, where I learned how political movements have been shaped by the music of their time. While in the class, we were asked to compose our own songs. I am not a songwriter, but I am an activist, and I embraced the opportunity to turn music into an outlet for my political beliefs. As a first-generation American, I am dedicated to raising awareness about refugee rights and immigration. My songs about the Syrian Refugee Crisis let me find a way to bring the two sides of me together and gave me a rush that neither music nor politics by themselves would have provided. This introduction led me to apply to the Telluride Association Protest Poetics program, where I dove deeper into my own identity. I wrote songs about police brutality and the ways that as a non-black person of color I am implicated in instances of subliminal racism. Over the course of the program, as I became more familiar with the visual, literary, and performance art we analyzed, I slowly started to realize that, though I confront colorism, jokes about Indian culture, and intra-community violence in some form every day, my proximity to whiteness still gives me immense amounts of privilege. I have come to know that this means I have a responsibility to both be at the forefront of movements, and conscious of not stepping over the voices of other intersectional identities. I hope that the music I choose to perform and the way I live my life can amplify, not overwrite, any of the struggles that others deal with daily. Last year, I had another opportunity to use music to pay homage to an issue I care deeply about. In my South Asian community, mental health is an issue that is often papered over. When a member of my school community committed suicide, I was asked to sing “Amazing Grace” for the school to both unify and honor the student. Though I thought that I had really understood the power of music, holding that space for my entire school had a profound resonance that I still don’t fully understand. My voice is an instrument for change -- whether it be through me raising my hand to contribute to a discussion in a classroom, speaking out against gun violence at a rally, or singing at an event of solidarity. I know that someday my voice, in conjunction with many other unique voices and perspectives, will make a difference. — — —
Get clear on the story you’re telling. Debate? Political organizing? Musical theater? Protest music? This writer probably had a lot more to say about all of those experiences. But we don’t get the whole backstory about her journey toward musical theater. Why? Because she’s clear on what this story is about (she may have even written a logline to get that clarity…). We don’t need a lot of context about her decision “not to participate in the musical” because this essay isn’t about her experiences with musical theater; it’s about her forging a new identity by combining seemingly disparate interests (e.g., music and political advocacy). Telling us every musical she’s ever been in won’t help us “get” what she’s saying in this essay (and she has the activities list to tell us that…). Instead, she shows us only the details relevant to her trying to balance a love of music with her newfound interests: she decides “not to participate in the musical,” and she “halts voice and piano lessons.”
Bridge the gap (between paragraphs). Stronger essays have paragraphs with clear relationships to one another. This writer uses various phrases to achieve that clarity. When she starts paragraph four with “this introduction,” you understand that she’s referring to her “songs about the Syrian Refugee Crisis” from the end of paragraph three. Similarly, she resolves the problem of her “losing touch” with music at the end of paragraph two by beginning paragraph three by stating she found a “new way of being…” She’s using those key moments of transition to tell her readers: hey, I’m going somewhere with all these ideas, you can trust me.
You don’t have to have all the answers . When the writer tells us that she sang “Amazing Grace” to honor someone in her community who died by suicide, she gets vulnerable—she says that she still doesn't “fully understand” the effects of that moment. In admitting that she’s still coming to terms with that experience, she comes off as a mature, reasoned person who thinks deeply about lived experience. No one reading your essay is going to expect you to have fully processed every difficult experience you’ve ever had in your life. That would be outrageous. What they will appreciate seeing, though, is that you’ve reflected deeply on lived experiences. Sometimes reflection yields answers. Sometimes it just yields more questions. Either is okay—just don’t feel like you need to have everything figured out to write about it (or that you need to pretend like you do).
Want help on your college essays?
The CEG mission is to bring more ease, purpose, and joy to the college application process via our library of free resources (much like this blog post).
CEG also offers one-on-one essay help to students who need a little extra support. Learn more about our comprehensive one-on-one essay coaching right here . And we’re proud to be a one-for-one company, which means that for every student who pays, we provide free support to a low-income student. If you identify as low-income, click here .
26 College Essay Examples That Worked 10+ Outstanding Common Application Essay Examples 14 Scholarship Essay Examples 17 UC Essay Examples (AKA Personal Insight Questions)
Personal Statement Writing – Start with a Sample was originally published on College Recruiter .
Many grad programs at various universities and specialty schools will require you to write a personal statement in order for you to apply to the school and if you are not sure what to write then you need to know where to look so that you can figure it out. Because your personal statement will weigh heavily on whether or not you get accepted into the school of your dreams, you want to make sure that you write a personal statement that really wows those who will read it. A great exercise to conduct before you begin to put together your personal statement is to start with a sample. This way you can see exactly what goes on a personal statement and you can also check out how the tone of the writer is and what they actually are emphasizing. The first place that you should look for sample personal statements is on the website of the school in which you are attempting to get into. If you can find samples of the personal statements of others who have already been accepted into the school then you can really begin to dig deep and find out what will be expected of you. Depending on the school in which you are trying to gain entry to, finding these samples can be easy or darn near impossible. When the latter happens you can always turn to the internet for help. Just as with anything else these days, the internet has an unbelievable amount of websites with samples of various types of personal statements. You can begin by conducting a Google, Yahoo, or Bing search on ‘personal statement samples’ and then begin to look at the different results that come up. When you are sifting through the vast amount of sample you will have access to, be sure that you are looking for samples that will pertain to you and your personal situation. Once you find sample personal statements that you think have helpful information you can print them out and highlight any areas that you feel may help you when you set out to write your own personal statement. It is also a good idea to take notes as you go along. Once you have a good amount of information and several personal statement samples to reference you can then sit down and begin to put down your thoughts for your personal statement. Don’t try to write your personal statement after only viewing one sample as this may inadvertently lead you to create a carbon copy of what you are looking at. By writing down your thoughts first you will be able to ensure that you are getting a good mix of ideas and inspirations from the various personal statement samples you like. Remember, your personal statement is ‘personal’ in nature so it is in your best interest to be sure that all the information you provide is in fact your information. By starting with one sample and taking some ideas, then moving on to another and taking additional ideas, and so on, you allow your true self to come out in the finished product and this will give you the best shot at gaining access to the school of your choice.
Applicants will be required to upload a personal statement with the admission application in the space provided. Prior to submitting, please review file upload requirements .
Princeton is strongly committed to welcoming students with diverse experiences. Describe a personal experience that influenced your decision to pursue graduate study. Explain how the lessons from this experience would enrich Princeton’s residential scholarly community.
The essay must be written in English and should not exceed 250 words. No specific formatting is required.
Review your final statement before uploading and submitting the admission application. If you submitted an application and need to revise your essay, you may upload the corrected version through the checklist before the deadline. After the deadline, no revised essays will be accepted.
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Two Red Bull drivers suffered a disastrous afternoon in Baku, as they bizarrely crashed out of qualifying.
Formula 1 heads to Azerbaijan this weekend for round 17 of the 2024 F1 season, with two hotly-contested championship battles nearing a conclusion.
F1 HEADLINES: FIA announce penalty verdict as McLaren team orders disregarded
F1 QUALIFYING RESULTS: Verstappen humbled by TEAM-MATE as championship rival stunned
Max Verstappen currently holds a 62-point lead over nearest challenger Lando Norris in the drivers' standings , while Red Bull, McLaren and Ferrari are all battling it out for the constructors' title.
F1 was not the only series racing in Azerbaijan, however, with another hotly-contested title battle occurring in F2.
READ MORE: Ferrari star's crash prompts FIFTH red flag at chaotic Azerbaijan GP
The 12th round of 14 in the series, Azerbaijan saw a continuation of a thrilling title battle between two talented young drivers.
Red Bull junior driver Isack Hadjar currently leads the championship by 10.5 points to McLaren junior driver Gabriel Bortoleto, with both drivers linked with different seats on the F1 grid for next season .
Hadjar races for Campos Racing, who are currently second in the teams' championship, and are also chasing that title.
However, disaster struck for Hadjar and his team when the 19-year-old locked up heading into Turn 1, slamming into the barriers and ending his qualifying session on Friday, bringing out a red flag that delayed the F2 session.
In a rather bizarre turn of events, fellow Red Bull junior and Campos team-mate Pepe Marti made exactly the same error seconds later , before Hadjar had even managed to get out of the car, ending the team's involvement in the Azerbaijan qualifying session.
Hadjar will start Sunday's feature race from 20th, while Marti will be down in 21st.
READ MORE: FIA investigate Red Bull star following Baku battle
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Dan Graziano reports on how the NFL and the Cleveland Browns could react to the latest allegations against QB Deshaun Watson. (1:15)
The NFL says it is reviewing a civil lawsuit filed Monday accusing Deshaun Watson of sexual assault and battery in October 2020 when he was a member of the Houston Texans .
"We are reviewing the complaint, and we will look into the matter under the personal conduct policy. Not looking at commissioner's exempt list as there's been no formal charges and the league's review has just begun," league spokesperson Brian McCarthy said.
According to the lawsuit, which was filed in Harris County, Texas, the alleged actions occurred before Watson and a woman, who goes by the pseudonym "Jane Doe" in the court filing, were set to have dinner at the woman's apartment.
The lawsuit states that Watson met the woman, a single mother, at a Houston restaurant and bar, managed to get her phone number and initially attempted to have her meet him at the Houston Galleria for a date. Reluctant to meet Watson in public, the woman instead agreed to a dinner date at her apartment, according to the lawsuit.
On the evening of the date, according to the lawsuit, she said Watson had trouble finding her apartment and began aggressively yelling and screaming at her on the phone, saying he didn't "have time for this."
The lawsuit alleges that, while applying makeup in her bathroom, the woman then found Watson "completely naked on her bed, lying face down on his stomach." Watson then requested that the woman massage his buttocks and the woman "tried to appease Watson by rubbing his back, rather than his buttocks," according to the lawsuit.
Watson then turned over and "continued to demand that Jane Doe massage him, gesturing from his knees to his groin," according to the lawsuit. The woman told Watson that she was not a masseuse, to which Watson asked her what she wanted to do instead, the suit alleges.
Before the woman could answer, Watson "partially disrobed Jane Doe and penetrated her vagina without consent, implicit or explicit," according to the lawsuit, which also alleges that Watson sexually assaulted the woman for several minutes before she escaped and grabbed a heavy piece of decor for self-defense. Watson then "stormed out of Jane Doe's apartment," according to the lawsuit.
In a statement to ESPN, a Browns spokesperson said, "We will respect the due process our legal system affords regarding the recently filed civil suit and follow the NFL's guidelines on this matter."
Watson, 28, served an 11-game suspension in 2022 after more than two dozen women accused him of sexual assault and inappropriate conduct during massage sessions. A pair of Texas grand juries declined to pursue criminal charges against Watson, but he served his suspension after the NFL and the NFL Players Association reached a settlement in his disciplinary matter.
Watson also had to pay a fine of $5 million and undergo mandatory evaluation by behavioral experts and follow their suggested treatment program before being reinstated by the league.
Watson settled 23 of the 24 civil lawsuits filed against him in the summer of 2022.
The lawsuit filed Monday is unrelated to the lone suit remaining from the women who accused Watson of sexual misconduct during massage sessions. However, the same attorney, Tony Buzbee, is representing the latest woman to sue Watson.
In March 2022, the Browns traded six draft picks, including three first-round picks, for Watson and gave him a fully guaranteed $230 million deal, which was an NFL record at the time.
The suspension and injuries have limited Watson to just 13 starts with Cleveland, which includes a 33-17 loss to the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday -- his first game since undergoing season-ending shoulder surgery last November. Watson completed 24 of 45 passes for 169 yards, 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions in the loss.
ESPN's John Barr contributed to this report.
The Money blog is your place for personal finance and consumer news. Our feature this weekend seeks answers to the age-old question: can money buy you happiness? Tell us your happiness hacks in the box below - and we'll be back with live updates on Monday.
Saturday 14 September 2024 08:51, UK
By Brad Young , from the Money team
Can money buy happiness?
When most people think about this question their minds turn to lottery winners. Does all that money really make them happy, they wonder with at least as much envy as curiosity.
But what about the rest of us? The average UK salary is £36,000 a year - so we set out to discover whether normal Britons, the ones who can't purchase yachts and flashy Italian cars, are truly able to make themselves happy with the swipe of a plastic card, and if so, what's the best way to go about it.
It turns out that the types of things you buy, how you purchase them and who you buy them for can be the difference between fleeting joy, lasting happiness and even an insight into what it means to be a human being…
Experiences v material goods
One of the most popular pieces of advice is to spend money on experiences rather than material goods, but this is not just for the reasons you might think, according to Kristen Duke, a social scientist at the University of Toronto.
Going to gigs or on holiday is more memorable and more social than the short-term high gained from buying clothes or gadgets, creating longer-lasting happiness, she said.
But the period before an experience also gives you access to a form of happiness thought to be unique to humans: anticipated joy.
"You're getting essentially a taste of how you will feel at that experience," Ms Duke says
"So if I'm anticipating going on vacation to Hawaii, then I can imagine the sun shining on me and imagine the peace I'll get from having the waves wash over me, and I get a little dose of that happiness," said Ms Duke.
She said the ability to simulate how we might feel in different situations is "something some people have argued makes people different from animals".
Hybrid purchases
The problem, according to Ms Duke, is that what makes experiences "so special and interesting and meaningful and social also means that they are inherently ephemeral and fading and we lose them".
Hybrid purchases like musical instruments, video games or souvenirs add a material dimension to an experience that allows them to live on, she said.
"The combination of both - being very material and being very experiential - can tend to yield the highest happiness."
Minimalism
Saving more money for days out for experiences like family trips is part of the reason why author Joshua Becker became a minimalist.
For 16 years he has practised minimalism and written multiple books on the subject, which he defines as removing things from his life that distract him from doing what he values most.
"I own fewer possessions so that I can free up time and money and energy for the things that actually matter and bring real happiness," said Mr Becker, whose lifestyle is followed by hundreds of thousands of people on YouTube and Instagram.
"The happiness that we get from possessions is always short and temporal."
Mr Becker has downsized his home by a third, spends little on storage, keeps no more than 33 articles of clothing and owns no homeware extras like spare towels, bedsheets and tupperware.
"I could have a house full of clutter or I could make these amazing memories with my family that they'll remember for the rest of their lives."
He added: "I look back on those last 16 years and I don't regret a thing. I love the memories we've had."
Social spending
Mr Becker has also found happiness in donating to his church or investing it in his non-profit, The Hope Effect, which supports foster-style care in countries without a fostering system.
His positive emotional response will be familiar to Lara Aknin, professor of social psychology at Simon Fraser University, Canada.
Her research found that spending money on others instead of yourself can boost wellbeing.
Choosing to be generous gives people a sense of autonomy, social connection and positive impact.
This is especially true when paying for a shared dinner instead of a gift voucher, or collaborating to raise money for charity rather than making a solitary donation.
"Humans are very social creatures and these gifts that we give to other people allow us to build, strengthen and maintain relationships that are important to us," said Prof Aknin.
"We see these emotional benefits with as little as $2.50 (£2), it's not necessarily about big, grand gestures."
Choice overload
You might assume having a world of options at our fingertips would make it more likely you're happy with a product - but that's not exactly right.
The number of choices you face can become so large that it can cause buyer's regret, said Ms Duke.
This is because people are more likely to imagine that an alternative they didn't purchase could have been better.
Ms Duke said consumers should use online tools to reduce their choices - and remember that just because information about small differences is available, that doesn't mean they will affect your experience of the product.
Addiction
For a few, the process of choosing and buying products can become compulsive, as Nuno Albuquerque, an addictions counsellor with 20 years of experience in the field, knows well.
The same fleeting "high" obtained from buying a product can become an obsession for some, often as a result of underlying mental health issues like low self-esteem, depression or trauma, he said.
"We know that buying such items or spending money can have an effect on the brain, on the dopamine levels," said Mr Albuquerque.
"It's like using a drug, and people start to rely on that and the obsession starts to kick in."
He said shopping around can activate dopamine production as much as the purchase itself, much like the pursuit of success in gambling.
People can spend hours shopping online, sometimes forgoing food or sleep, or causing financial or relationship breakdown, he said.
The crash that comes after the product arrives can cause shame, guilt or self-loathing, Mr Albuquerque explained.
"It is about trying to feel better. It's like the slogan: Happiness is an inside job."
By Jimmy Rice , Money blog editor
The most notable news in Money this week was Labour's cut to the winter fuel allowance being voted through by MPs, albeit with 52 Labour MPs abstaining.
The payment of up to £300 had been universal to those aged 66 and over, with 11.4 million in receipt last winter.
Now only those on certain means-tested benefits will get it - some 1.5 million.
It is estimate the change will save the Treasury £1.5bn a year - but it's not clear what price the government has paid in good will.
Political editor Beth Rigby described "disquiet" on the Labour benches and summarised it as "the first big challenge to Keir Starmer's authority".
If you're confused about who is now eligible for the winter fuel payment, we explain all here...
In related news, it is now likely there will be a 4% uplift in the state pension in April - equating to approximately £8.85 extra a week or £460 a year.
The triple lock commits the government to increasing pensions every April by whichever is highest - inflation (the figure for September, published in October), average wage growth between May and July (4%, as published on Tuesday) or 2.5%.
Another significant moment in the Commons this week came on Thursday, when the Renters' Reform Bill returned, five years and four prime ministers after it was first promised.
This time it's Labour's version - with the new government vowing to improve and complete the set of proposals to strengthen renters' rights that the Tories pledged, then watered down and then abandoned altogether before the election.
The Renters' Rights Bill aims to "decisively level the playing field between landlords and tenants", according to housing minister Matthew Pennycook.
Crucially, it includes a blanket ban on no-fault evictions under Section 21 (S21) of the 1988 Housing Act, which allows landlords to evict tenants with two months' notice without providing a reason.
Housing campaigners say they are a major contributing factor to rising homelessness.
Our politics team run through all other areas the legislation will cover - from pets to rent increases - in this explainer:
We've heard repeated warnings from Sir Keir Starmer and his top team that the country's finances are in a dire state and Rachel Reeves's first budget as chancellor next month will be "painful".
Our business correspondent Paul Kelso got further insight this week when he sat down with the chancellor after official figures showed the UK economy had unexpectedly flatlined for the second month in a row.
She signalled the budget could be a painful mix of spending cuts, tax rises and increased borrowing, telling Paul: "I've been really honest that there are difficult decisions to come in the budget, on spending, on taxation and welfare, after the mess that the previous government created with the public finances and the state that they are in, that was inevitable.
"I was clear during the election campaign that, if I became chancellor of the exchequer, tough choices lie ahead."
For Paul's full interview with the chancellor, click below:
Here in Money, we published a few explainers that are well worth checking out...
We'll be back with live updates on Monday - but check out our Saturday morning feature on: Can money buy you happiness?
Have a good weekend.
Hundreds of you have shared your thoughts with us this week.
We've gone through our mailbox to find out what got you talking.
One of the biggest developments of the week came when MPs voted through Labour's cut to the winter fuel allowance.
Here's what you thought...
What's next? Bus passes and prescriptions? But just keep giving £6bn to foreign aid whilst pensioners freeze to death - shame on Labour. Winter fuel
Savings on winter fuel payments will be eaten away by the extra cost to the NHS of elderly people being admitted to hospital because of the cold weather. Any winter fuel payments should go directly to energy companies. MoJo
Why is this government taking away the winter fuel allowance with one hand and increasing pensions with the other? Shall46
A lot of you had thoughts on a survey that found police officers, social workers and community nurses have some of the most stressful jobs in the UK.
It's safe to say this one got you talking...
Didn't see Member of Parliament make the list… Neiljo
Why is farming not on the list? Totally dependent on the unpredictable weather for success or failure, highest suicide rate of any profession! Haybales
Teachers, and all the holidays they get over the year. Give us a break Nigel
The stressful jobs list is a joke! Where are firemen, doctors, scaffolders, traffic wardens? What are national govt admins? But HR managers are on there? The majority sit behind a desk and manage people on a computer. Morgg
Finally, we had lots of questions about cheap flights, including this one...
Flying with Quantas next February how do we get a good seat or complimentary upgrade it's a very special holiday 60th birthday. Registered on frequent flyers and are bronze for registering any help Daisy62
First, a very happy birthday for when it comes, and while we'll have to leave the upgrade side of things with you to chance at the airport gate - you can check out our guide to cheap flights right here...
Junk food ads will be banned before the 9pm watershed , the health minister has announced.
Andrew Gwynne also said the government would introduce a total ban on paid-for online ads for junk food.
"These restrictions will help protect children from being exposed to advertising of less healthy food and drinks, which evidence shows influences their dietary preferences from a young age," he said.
Both bans will come into effect on 1 October next year.
Some customers are being saddled with "unfair" interest rates for paying monthly , according to Which?.
The consumer group called on the Financial Conduct Authority to act swiftly to prevent people from being "penalised" for being unable to pay for a year of insurance upfront.
Its analysis found annual rates as high as 45% could potentially be charged.
Which? asked 49 car and 48 home insurers how much interest they charged customers to pay for cover monthly, with the annual percentage range (APR) across car insurers being 22.33% and the average across home insurers being 19.83%.
Nearly 20% of female business leaders have been forced to delay or cancel their company plans due to difficulties securing financing , research suggests.
A YouGov survey commissioned by HSBC showed one in 10 women entrepreneurs said securing the financial support they need was their top challenge.
The poll of more than 1,000 female business owners revealed nearly half are planning to expand their businesses in the UK or overseas next year - but many are being held back by not being able to access loans or financing.
Nearly one in five (18%) of female business leaders consider access to funding a barrier to growing their business, while nearly a fifth (19%) had to postpone or cancel their business plans as they have not been able to access the necessary funding.
Anyone who has had to move into a rental property lately will know how challenging finding a new place can be, and we can now put a number on how tough the competition is.
Around 21 people compete for every rental property, according to property website Zoopla.
It said the average rent was £1,245 a month in July - £63 a month higher than a year ago.
Zoopla said a lack of supply remains a major challenge for renters.
Although the number of homes to rent is higher than last year, it remains lower than the pre-coronavirus pandemic average, it said.
One in eight (12.5%) of homes listed for sale on Zoopla in July were previously rented.
The website suggested higher mortgage rates have acted as an additional catalyst for landlord sales over the past two years, on top of longer-term tax and regulatory changes.
Nathan Emerson, chief executive of property professionals' body Propertymark, said: "The rental market has been suffering from a lack of supply against an ever-growing demand for a concerningly long period of time.
"The housing sector continues to see issues escalate year-on-year and the real-world effect is that renters face an increasing challenge to secure a suitable property for their needs."
By Sarah Taaffe-Maguire , business reporter
It may be worth keeping an eye on US markets today amid recent signals that borrowing could become even cheaper in the US.
Officials from the US central bank, known as the Fed, have signalled a larger cut than first priced in may be needed - its decision will be announced next Wednesday.
Market expectations are now showing a 41% chance of the first interest rate cut in more than four years being 0.5 percentage points.
That's brought good news for those heading to the US on holidays or buying things in dollars, one pound is back buying $1.31, an amount that had been the greatest in more than a year.
There's little change for sterling against the euro with a pound equalling $1.1847.
Oil is ending the week slightly up from the multi-year low of $70 seen a few days earlier but still at the comparatively low sum of $72.43 for a barrel of the benchmark oil, Brent crude.
After yesterday's market rally, the benchmark UK stock index (the FTSE 100) was slightly down 0.07% this morning with the more UK-focussed FTSE 250 index up 0.38%.
Everyone has their superstitions - but ones about today's date are having a real impact on the housing market.
Analysis by Rightmove shows that Friday the 13th tends to be quieter for house sale completions than any other Friday - which which is usually the busiest day of the week for home moves.
And the 13th day of the month is typically the quietest day for completions compared to any other day of the month.
Rightmove also found that houses numbered 13 are valued at £5,521 lower than the average of £364,139.
Meanwhile, houses with the "lucky" number seven have an average valuation of £369,770.
Tim Bannister, Rightmove's property expert, said: "Despite the superstitions surrounding the number 13 and Friday the 13th, buyers willing to challenge these traditions could find themselves in a prime position to negotiate better deals.
"Our data shows that significant discounts are often available on properties with this traditionally unlucky number.
"With potential savings of over £5,000 - money that could be put towards stamp duty or other moving expenses - even the most superstitious buyers might be tempted to overlook the number on the door."
Friday the 13th is considered unlucky by some for biblical reasons - Judas, who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th guest at the last supper.
Some tall buildings don't list the 13th floor, instead jumping from 12 to 14, and some airlines don't have a row 13 on their flights.
Every Friday we take an overview of the mortgage market, hearing from industry voices and getting a round-up of the best rates courtesy of the independent experts at Moneyfactscompare.co.uk .
Halifax, Barclays and TSB were among the big lenders announcing cuts this week - as all eyes turn to next Thursday's base rate decision from the Bank of England.
As of yesterday afternoon, markets were pricing in just a 19% chance of a cut - with the strong expectation that the Bank's Monetary Policy Committee will hold fire until its next meeting at the start of October.
The momentum behind a lowering of interest rates has been helped by uncertainty in the US economy - fears of a recession eased somewhat at the end of last week with improved jobs data, but a struggling economy is likely to persuade the Fed to lower rates at a faster than expected rate.
That is helping to bring down swap rates - which dictate how much it costs lenders to lend.
Peter Stimson, from MPowered Mortgages, told industry news wire Newspage: "Fears of a US recession are proving a real fillip to UK borrowers.
"The two-year swap, which two-year fixed rate mortgages are priced off, is now at its lowest level for 18 months and is even lower than it was at the start of the year when lenders were cutting across the board. Five-year swaps are also falling."
Finance expert Rachel Springall said: "Fixed rate mortgage reductions have taken precedence so far this week, with a few prominent brands making tweaks.
"Home movers who want to lock into a longer-term fixed mortgage will find the average overall five-year fixed rate is much higher than it was back in September 2019, which was 2.79%. Week on week, the overall average two- and fixed rate fell to 5.50% and 5.17% respectively.
"Borrowers searching for a deal may find it encouraging that the average shelf-life of a mortgage product rose to 21 days, up from 17 days. Our analysis at Moneyfacts also revealed that the average two-year fixed rate is now at its lowest level since February 2024, the five-year is at its lowest level since March 2024."
Moneyfacts has looked at the best rates on offer now...
The comparison site also looks at what it calls "best buys" - which considers not just the rate, but other costs and incentives. These are their top picks this week...
Ipswich Town is the cheapest Premier League team to follow this season, according to a new study - though a surprising team pipped it to the cheapest pint by 50p.
Topping this particular table, Ipswich Town - who were promoted to the league this season - comes out as the cheapest team when prices for food and drink in the stadium, adult tickets and season tickets are taken into account.
Sports company Flashscore , which published the study, also compared the price of a standard home shirt and average ticket price.
Arsenal was found to be the most expensive team to follow this season.
The Emirates sells the joint most expensive beer, at £6.30 a pint, while Arsenal's cheapest season ticket - at £1,073 - is the most expensive in the league.
It also sells the most expensive adult ticket at £141.
At £372 Ipswich has the second-most affordable season ticket, with the most expensive adult ticket at £48 also under the league average of £71.25.
West Ham have the cheapest season ticket at £345, but scored more highly on other prices.
The cheapest ticket at £29 is also under the £31.07 average.
Once inside Ipswich's Portman Road Stadium, a pint of beer costs £3.50 - the second cheapest to... Manchester United.
The revelation might surprise fans, with United known as the commercial pioneers of the Premier League, adept at driving profit through sponsorship, merchandise and shirt sales.
The club led the way in terms of monetising football beyond tickets, opening a megastore and hotel at Old Trafford in the 1990s, while also popularising stadium tours.
The Red Devils remain one of the world's five richest clubs, despite posting a loss of more than £110m in their latest financial results this week.
Snapdragon, the US technology firm, will pay the club around £60m per year in a shirt sponsorship deal for its men's and women's teams agreed this summer.
Perhaps this has allowed the club to give a little back to fans with a cheap matchday pint.
This chart compares all Premier League prices, from pies to pints and tickets...
Feeling priced out of going to matches? Pints getting more expensive? Share your stories with us in the box at the top of the page.
A three Michelin-starred meal will soon be available for delivery for £80.
Uber Eats has teamed up with one of the most celebrated British chefs, Simon Rogan, to offer customers dishes from his restaurant L'Enclume.
The menu has been created using ingredients grown on Rogan's farm in the Lake District, and aims to be the most sustainable in the UK.
It consists of five courses, with snacks consisting of a Park House pudding glazed in birch sap, a chicken offal doughnut, and Diana radishes with lovage emulsion, followed by a salad with 51 ingredients.
The centrepiece of the meal is a heritage breed beef short rib from Lake District farmers served with fermented cabbage, chanterelles and an indulgent beef sauce featuring ramson stems, pickled tapioca and ramson oil.
The menu will conclude with petit fours (little bite-sized desserts).
It will be available to London-based customers on 18 and 19 September between 5pm and 10pm, priced at £80.
Pairing wines will also be available for £30. The first night will be available to Uber One users only, and the second night will be available to all customers.
It will be delivered in biodegradable packaging and transported using electric vehicles.
"My cooking philosophy has always been influenced by the natural environment, while sustainability is at the forefront of everything we do. Uber Eats have truly gone above and beyond to match this ethos with this project," Rogan said.
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The title of your personal statement should convey the main point of your statement. Write 3-4 titles for your statement and compare them to choose the best one for your personal statement. If you're having trouble finding up an appropriate heading for your personal essay, you can approach us since we have some of the finest personal ...
Also read: How to Format a College Essay: Format Template & Tips. 1. Personal anecdotes. Adding a touch of character to your personal statement can give the admissions committee insight into your personality beyond your transcripts. By including specific experiences and anecdotes, you can make your personal statement more engaging and ...
My skin was consistently tan in splotches and ridden with random scratches. My wardrobe consisted mainly of track shorts, Nike shoes, and tournament t-shirts. Gatorade and Fun Dip were my pre-game snacks. The cacophony of rowdy crowds, ref whistles, squeaky shoes, and scoreboard buzzers was a familiar sound.
Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene. An effective way to catch the reader's attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you're stuck, try thinking about: A personal experience that changed your perspective. A story from your family's history.
In a great personal statement, we should be able to get a sense of what fulfills, motivates, or excites the author. These can be things like humor, beauty, community, and autonomy, just to name a few. So when you read back through your essay, you should be able to detect at least 4-5 different values throughout.
5. Use an authentic voice. Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn't try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn't use fancy words just to show off. This isn't an academic paper, so you don't have to adopt a super formal tone.
To begin your personal statement, read the prompt—and the entire application—carefully. Because terms are often used interchangeably (e.g. personal statement, statement of purpose, letter of intent, statement of interest), it is essential to first determine what is expected from you. Some applications ask for a general personal statement.
Personal Statement Examples. Essay 1: Summer Program. Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American. Essay 3: Why Medicine. Essay 4: Love of Writing. Essay 5: Starting a Fire. Essay 6: Dedicating a Track. Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders. Essay 8: Becoming a Coach.
Make sure to use emphatic and expressive language to make your personal statement more impactful. For example: Gaining hands-on experience with the state-of-the-art operating machine provided by your medical department will give me a head-start in my chosen field of neuroscience. 4. Edit and proofread.
How to Start a Personal Statement. You should start your personal statement with a "hook" that pulls the reader in. The sooner you catch the reader's attention, the more likely they'll want to read the entire essay. Here are some examples of hooks you can use: A story (e.g. When the spotlight hit my face, I tried to remind myself to ...
Here are 12 personal statement examples for school or career to help you create your own: 1. Personal statement example for graduate school. A personal statement for graduate school differs greatly from one to further your professional career. It's usually an essay, rather than a brief paragraph.
Whether you're using the Common Application, the Coalition Application, or a school-specific application portal, it can be scary to come up with an essay topic that encompasses the complexity and vastness of who you are as a person.
The Free Guide to Writing the Personal Statement. Kick things off with the two greatest brainstorming exercises ever, learn about options for structuring a personal statement + example outlines, check out some amazing example personal statements, and get on your way to writing your own killer personal statement for university applications.
There are no set rules for how to write a personal statement—a lot of your writing choices depend on the assignment and reader—but they typically fall between 400 and 1,000 words, rarely exceeding a single page. Personal statements can be either open or prompted. Open personal statements are when you, the writer, get to choose the main topic.
Here is a basic format that should help you get started: The perfect length for a statement is 500 words. So, be sure to finish your paper within 495 - 505. Keep your paragraphs single-spaced and aligned with an extra line of space from the next. Times New Roman is a great font choice for every paper.
1. The general, comprehensive personal statement: This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms. 2. The response to very specific questions: Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement ...
Step 1 - Determining Word Limit and Line-Spacing. Knowing the word limit is crucial. Ensure your personal statement aligns with the specified range, that is typically around 500 words. Implement double-spacing within paragraphs, adding an extra line of space between each paragraph.
Review, rewrite, edit, and finalize - Edit and rewrite multiple times to come up with a polished statement of purpose. Of course, we are oversimplifying the process. There are many more detailed articles available on precisely how to write a statement of purpose. Although, these general steps for writing a personal statement will, when ...
Don'ts. Don't be modest or shy. You want your passions to come across. Don't exaggerate - if you do, you may get caught out in an interview when asked to elaborate on an interesting achievement. Don't use quotes from someone else, or cliches. Don't leave it to the last minute - your statement will seem rushed and important ...
Top tips on how to write your statement opener. We spoke to admissions tutors at unis and colleges - read on for their tips. 1. Don't begin with the overkill opening. Try not to overthink the opening sentence. You need to engage the reader with your relevant thoughts and ideas, but not go overboard. Tutors said: 'The opening is your chance ...
Don't give your essay a title. Use one-inch margins all around. Double-space your essay. Left-align or justify your essay. Add half-inch indentations to each paragraph. Don't add an extra return between paragraphs. Use one space after periods. I've implemented this formatting in the personal statement format sample.
Example #3 - 12. Example #4 - Flying. Example #5 - Arab Spring in Bahrain. Example #6 - Poop, Animals and the Environment. Example #7 - Entoptic Phenomena. Example #8 - The Builder & Problem Solver. Example #10 - The Little Porch and a Dog (With Spanish Translation) Example #10 - Life As an Undocumented Student.
Personal Statement Writing - Start with a Sample was originally published on College Recruiter.. Many grad programs at various universities and specialty schools will require you to write a personal statement in order for you to apply to the school and if you are not sure what to write then you need to know where to look so that you can figure it out.
Applicants will be required to upload a personal statement with the admission application in the space provided. Prior to submitting, please review file upload requirements. Requirements. Princeton is strongly committed to welcoming students with diverse experiences. Describe a personal experience that influenced your decision to pursue ...
Your personal mission statement defines the gifts you will use to reach your goals. Related: How to Set and Achieve Goals; How to create a personal mission statement Follow these steps to create an effective personal mission statement: 1. Look at your past achievements Create a list of goals you have achieved.
The 12th round of 14 in the series, Azerbaijan saw a continuation of a thrilling title battle between two talented young drivers. Red Bull junior driver Isack Hadjar currently leads the championship by 10.5 points to McLaren junior driver Gabriel Bortoleto, with both drivers linked with different seats on the F1 grid for next season .
In a statement to ESPN, a Browns spokesperson said, "We will respect the due process our legal system affords regarding the recently filed civil suit and follow the NFL's guidelines on this matter."
The Money blog is your place for personal finance and consumer news. Scroll down for posts on the cost of supporting your Premier League team, how superstitions could devalue your house and a ...