title for my personal statement

How To Title A Personal Statement

The majority of the people I’ve seen don’t have a title for their personal statement. (They occasionally write “Personal Statement,” but never “The Importance of Being Serious About Graduate School/college.”)

In this Personal Statement article, we will discuss how to title a personal statement and creative titles for personal statements . 

The perfect title is something along the lines of “University Name Personal Statement” or “Statement for ABC DI.” You’ll be able to choose the proper one for the right program this way.

There is sometimes a room or box given for the title. You have to write the heading there. This may be given at the center, middle or left side of the page.

The “Personal Statement Title” Box Is Not Seen By The Program Directors

Isn’t it fascinating? You can still use the fantastic title you created. You are free to fill the box with whatever you like. However, it will not be printed on the application that the directors will see.

So, what exactly is the purpose of the box? You must determine whose personal statement is which. You’ll choose whatever program(s) you want to apply to in a different section of the application. There will also be a personal statement attached. 

You’ll need to know which statement goes to which program if you apply to multiple programs and compose a personal statement for each one. You’ll see the Personal Statement Title you typed in that field at that time, and you’ll be able to connect the dots.

Length Of The Title

The amount of words in the title box is limited. Your personal statement has a restricted amount of room in the DICAS application. Because two things are listed, there is a little bit of ambiguity about what the limit is.

“Do not exceed the maximum length of 1,000 words,” it reads when you open the personal statement section and select the “Instructions for this Section” button. However, it reads “(max 8,000 characters)” just under the box where you’ll type your personal statement text.

Because the text box is what counts the characters (which includes letters, digits, punctuation marks, and spaces), you should keep it to 8,000 characters. Even though you highlight extra characters in your personal statement in Word and then copy and paste it over (which I encourage because editing in Word is much easier), it will only paste 8,000 characters in that box. 

Before you complete the transfer, you may count the words and letters in Word to see whether everything will fit. You wouldn’t want a word or a phrase in your personal statement to be cut off somewhere in the middle of it.

This implies that when you include a name at the start of your personal statement in that box, those characters will be counted toward the total. As a result, you’ll have fewer characters to explain about your experience or why you wish to do internships in the body of your personal statement. If you have a lot of information to present in your personal statement when asking the questionnaire, adding a subtitle may not be the greatest use of characters.

It’s Good To Know: How To Write A Personal Statement For Transfer Students

If There Is Room, You Can Still Add A Headline

Some of you will have enough space in your 1,000-word limit to include a title in that area so that directors may see it. You can still put a title on it if you want to.

However, while a title may assist introduce a subject or demonstrate your distinct personality, directors will be most interested in the facts in your personal statement. That is where the directors will learn more about you and your internship preparation. Or without a title, there are numerous ways to inject individuality and uniqueness into your personal statement.

THE Summary Of Your Statement’s Heading/Title

In the absence of any graduate school requirements, your heading included the title of the document you’re sending (for example, “Personal Statement”), the institution, and the department. 

Who you’re writing it for (e.g., “Northern University College of Education”), as well as your name. These can be centered, left-justified, or formatted in any professional format.

Titles for Personal Statements with a Creative Twist

I’ve gathered some personal statement examples that will help you in writing the best title for your personal statement.

• How Can Change Be Beneficial?
• Let the light in.
• How my world has shaped my dreams and aspirations.
• Advantages of Educational opportunities.

Points To Be Kept In Mind

After selecting a personal statement title example you have to consider some tips to write a good personal statement. Here are a few pointers to help you come up with your own personal essay title.

• Maintain brevity in your title. Extended titles aren’t appealing to anyone.
• The second need is that you must have a fresh and original title. It is something they aren’t exposed to regularly.
• Use a headline for your personal statement that accurately describes the content of your personal statement.
• Write your title in bold letters. Or write according to the given instructions.
• Your personal statement title must startle the readers and should be relevant.
• Do not use quotations or copy other’s titles. Avoid plagiarism.
• Look for personal statement heading examples and take ideas from that but don’t copy them.

Final Words: how to title a personal statement

So giving a title isn’t very necessary if you don’t see it in your personal statement’s instructions. But if you want to give a title then you must know how to title a personal statement . 

The title of your personal statement should convey the main point of your statement. Write 3-4 titles for your statement and compare them to choose the best one for your personal statement. 

If you’re having trouble finding up an appropriate heading for your personal essay, you can approach us since we have some of the finest personal statement writers on board who can assist you in presenting the ideal headline for the essay. 

Related Posts

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Have a language expert improve your writing

Run a free plagiarism check in 10 minutes, generate accurate citations for free.

• Knowledge Base
• Applying to graduate school
• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

College essays

• College essay examples
• College essay format
• College essay style
• College essay length
• Diversity essays
• Scholarship essays

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Avoiding repetition
• Literature review
• Conceptual framework
• Dissertation outline
• Thesis acknowledgements
• Burned or burnt
• Canceled or cancelled
• Dreamt or dreamed
• Gray or grey
• Theater vs theatre

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

McCombes, S. (2023, July 03). How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved September 9, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/graduate-school/personal-statement/

Is this article helpful?

Shona McCombes

Other students also liked, how to write a graduate school resume | template & example, how (and who) to ask for a letter of recommendation, master's vs phd | a complete guide to the differences, get unlimited documents corrected.

✔ Free APA citation check included ✔ Unlimited document corrections ✔ Specialized in correcting academic texts

• Search All Scholarships
• Exclusive Scholarships
• Easy Scholarships to Apply For
• No Essay Scholarships
• Scholarships for HS Juniors
• Scholarships for HS Seniors
• Scholarships for College Students
• Scholarships for Grad Students
• Scholarships for Women
• Scholarships for Black Students
• Scholarships
• Student Loans
• College Admissions
• Financial Aid
• Scholarship Winners
• Scholarship Providers

Student-centric advice and objective recommendations

Higher education has never been more confusing or expensive. Our goal is to help you navigate the very big decisions related to higher ed with objective information and expert advice. Each piece of content on the site is original, based on extensive research, and reviewed by multiple editors, including a subject matter expert. This ensures that all of our content is up-to-date, useful, accurate, and thorough.

Our reviews and recommendations are based on extensive research, testing, and feedback. We may receive commission from links on our website, but that doesn’t affect our editors’ opinions. Our marketing partners don’t review, approve or endorse our editorial content. It’s accurate to the best of our knowledge when posted. You can find a complete list of our partners here .

How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

Learn about our editorial policies

Zach Skillings is the Scholarships360 Newsletter Editor. He specializes in college admissions and strives to answer important questions about higher education. When he’s not contributing to Scholarships360, Zach writes about travel, music, film, and culture. His work has been published in Our State Magazine, Ladygunn Magazine, The Nocturnal Times, and The Lexington Dispatch. Zach graduated from Elon University with a degree in Cinema and Television Arts.

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

• What experiences have shaped who you are? 
• What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
• Who or what has inspired you the most? 
• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
• If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
• What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

Also see:  Scholarships360’s free scholarships search tool

Key Takeaways

• It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
• Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
• Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
• Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

Start your scholarship search

• Vetted scholarships custom-matched to your profile
• Access exclusive scholarships only available to Scholarships360 members

Frequently asked questions about writing personal statements 

How do you write a powerful personal statement, what makes an amazing personal statement, how do you start an amazing personal statement, scholarships360 recommended.

10 Tips for Successful College Applications

Coalition vs. Common App: What is the difference?

College Application Deadlines 2024-2025: What You Need to Know

Trending now.

How to Convert Your GPA to a 4.0 Scale

PSAT to SAT Score Conversion: Predict Your Score

What are Public Ivy League Schools?

3 reasons to join scholarships360.

• Automatic entry to our $10,000 No-Essay Scholarship
• Personalized matching to thousands of vetted scholarships
• Quick apply for scholarships exclusive to our platform

By the way...Scholarships360 is 100% free!

Writing Center

Personal statements, getting started, brainstorming.

• Why do I want to pursue graduate studies or professional training?
• What aspect of this field is most compelling to me?
• How have I prepared myself (e.g. with jobs, internships, research) to succeed in this field?
• What are my academic interests and career goals?
• Have I faced any adversities that have impacted my studies? Are there any discrepancies in my academic or personal record that should be explained?
• What else can I say about myself to convince the committee that I am a serious candidate?
• Why have I chosen this particular school and program?
• How can my background, skills, or experiences contribute to the diversity of this program?

Writing Your Personal Statement

• How did this experience change me?
• What did I learn from this experience and how can I apply it in the future?
• How does this experience relate to my academic or career goals?
• What do I want the admissions committee to learn about me from this experience?

Also recommended for you:

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Academic Editing and Proofreading

• Tips to Self-Edit Your Dissertation
• Guide to Essay Editing: Methods, Tips, & Examples
• Journal Article Proofreading: Process, Cost, & Checklist
• The A–Z of Dissertation Editing: Standard Rates & Involved Steps
• Research Paper Editing | Guide to a Perfect Research Paper
• Dissertation Proofreading | Definition & Standard Rates
• Thesis Proofreading | Definition, Importance & Standard Pricing
• Research Paper Proofreading | Definition, Significance & Standard Rates
• Essay Proofreading | Options, Cost & Checklist
• Top 10 Paper Editing Services of 2024 (Costs & Features)
• Top 10 Essay Checkers in 2024 (Free & Paid)
• Top 10 AI Proofreaders to Perfect Your Writing in 2024
• Top 10 English Correctors to Perfect Your Text in 2024
• Top 10 Essay Editing Services of 2024
• 10 Advanced AI Text Editors to Transform Writing in 2024
• Personal Statement Editing Services: Craft a Winning Essay

Academic Research

• Research Paper Outline: Free Templates & Examples to Guide You
• How to Write a Research Paper: A Step-by-Step Guide
• How to Write a Lab Report: Examples from Academic Editors
• Research Methodology Guide: Writing Tips, Types, & Examples
• The 10 Best Essential Resources for Academic Research
• 100+ Useful ChatGPT Prompts for Thesis Writing in 2024
• Best ChatGPT Prompts for Academic Writing (100+ Prompts!)
• Sampling Methods Guide: Types, Strategies, and Examples
• Independent vs. Dependent Variables | Meaning & Examples

Academic Writing & Publishing

• Difference Between Paper Editing and Peer Review
• What are the different types of peer review?
• How to Handle Journal Rejection: Essential Tips
• Editing and Proofreading Academic Papers: A Short Guide
• How to Carry Out Secondary Research
• The Results Section of a Dissertation
• Checklist: Is my Article Ready for Submitting to Journals?
• Types of Research Articles to Boost Your Research Profile
• 8 Types of Peer Review Processes You Should Know
• The Ethics of Academic Research
• How does LaTeX based proofreading work?
• How to Improve Your Scientific Writing: A Short Guide
• Chicago Title, Cover Page & Body | Paper Format Guidelines
• How to Write a Thesis Statement: Examples & Tips
• Chicago Style Citation: Quick Guide & Examples
• The A-Z Of Publishing Your Article in A Journal
• What is Journal Article Editing? 3 Reasons You Need It
• 5 Powerful Personal Statement Examples (Template Included)
• Complete Guide to MLA Format (9th Edition)
• How to Cite a Book in APA Style | Format & Examples
• How to Start a Research Paper | Step-by-step Guide
• APA Citations Made Easy with Our Concise Guide for 2024
• A Step-by-Step Guide to APA Formatting Style (7th Edition)
• Top 10 Online Dissertation Editing Services of 2024
• Academic Writing in 2024: 5 Key Dos & Don’ts + Examples
• What Are the Standard Book Sizes for Publishing Your Book?
• MLA Works Cited Page: Quick Tips & Examples
• 2024’s Top 10 Thesis Statement Generators (Free Included!)
• Top 10 Title Page Generators for Students in 2024
• What Is an Open Access Journal? 10 Myths Busted!
• Primary vs. Secondary Sources: Definition, Types & Examples
• How To Write a College Admissions Essay That Stands Out
• How to Write a Dissertation & Thesis Conclusion (+ Examples)
• APA Journal Citation: 7 Types, In-Text Rules, & Examples
• What Is Predatory Publishing and How to Avoid It!
• What Is Plagiarism? Meaning, Types & Examples
• How to Write a Strong Dissertation & Thesis Introduction
• How to Cite a Book in MLA Format (9th Edition)
• How to Cite a Website in MLA Format | 9th Edition Rules
• 10 Best AI Conclusion Generators (Features & Pricing)
• Top 10 Academic Editing Services of 2024 [with Pricing]
• 100+ Writing Prompts for College Students (10+ Categories!)
• How to Create the Perfect Thesis Title Page in 2024
• Additional Resources
• Preventing Plagiarism in Your Thesis: Tips & Best Practices
• Final Submission Checklist | Dissertation & Thesis
• 7 Useful MS Word Formatting Tips for Dissertation Writing
• How to Write a MEAL Paragraph: Writing Plan Explained in Detail
• Em Dash vs. En Dash vs. Hyphen: When to Use Which
• The 10 Best Citation Generators in 2024 | Free & Paid Plans!
• 2024’s Top 10 Self-Help Books for Better Living
• The 10 Best Free Character and Word Counters of 2024
• Know Everything About How to Make an Audiobook
• Citation and Referencing
• Citing References: APA, MLA, and Chicago
• How to Cite Sources in the MLA Format
• MLA Citation Examples: Cite Essays, Websites, Movies & More
• Citations and References: What Are They and Why They Matter
• APA Headings & Subheadings | Formatting Guidelines & Examples
• Formatting an APA Reference Page | Template & Examples
• Research Paper Format: APA, MLA, & Chicago Style
• How to Create an MLA Title Page | Format, Steps, & Examples
• How to Create an MLA Header | Format Guidelines & Examples
• MLA Annotated Bibliography | Guidelines and Examples
• APA Website Citation (7th Edition) Guide | Format & Examples
• APA Citation Examples: The Bible, TED Talk, PPT & More
• APA Header Format: 5 Steps & Running Head Examples
• APA Title Page Format Simplified | Examples + Free Template
• How to Write an Abstract in MLA Format: Tips & Examples
• 10 Best Free Plagiarism Checkers of 2024 [100% Free Tools]
• 5 Reasons to Cite Your Sources Properly | Avoid Plagiarism!
• Dissertation Writing Guide
• Writing a Dissertation Proposal
• The Acknowledgments Section of a Dissertation
• The Table of Contents Page of a Dissertation
• The Introduction Chapter of a Dissertation
• The Literature Review of a Dissertation
• The Only Dissertation Toolkit You’ll Ever Need!
• 5 Thesis Writing Tips for Master Procrastinators
• How to Write a Dissertation | 5 Tips from Academic Editors
• The 5 Things to Look for in a Dissertation Editing Service
• Top 10 Dissertation Editing & Proofreading Services
• Why is it important to add references to your thesis?
• Thesis Editing | Definition, Scope & Standard Rates
• Expert Formatting Tips on MS Word for Dissertations
• A 7-Step Guide on How to Choose a Dissertation Topic
• 350 Best Dissertation Topic Ideas for All Streams in 2024
• A Guide on How to Write an Abstract for a Research Paper
• Dissertation Defense: What to Expect and How to Prepare
• Creating a Dissertation Title Page (Examples & Templates)
• Essay Writing Guide
• Essential Research Tips for Essay Writing
• What Is a Mind Map? Free Mind Map Templates & Examples
• How to Write an Essay Outline: 5 Examples & Free Template
• How to Write an Essay Header: MLA and APA Essay Headers
• What Is an Essay? Structure, Parts, and Types
• How to Write an Essay in 8 Simple Steps (Examples Included)
• 8 Types of Essays | Quick Summary with Examples
• Expository Essays | Step-by-Step Manual with Examples
• Narrative Essay | Step-by-Step Guide with Examples
• How to Write an Argumentative Essay (Examples Included)
• Guide to a Perfect Descriptive Essay [Examples & Outline Included]
• How to Start an Essay: 4 Introduction Paragraph Examples
• How to Write a Conclusion for an Essay (Examples Included!)

How to Write an Impactful Personal Statement (Examples Included)

• Literary Analysis Essay: 5 Steps to a Perfect Assignment
• Compare and Contrast Essay | Quick Guide with Examples
• Top AI Essay Writers in 2024: 10 Must-Haves
• 100 Best College Essay Topics & How to Pick the Perfect One!
• College Essay Format: Tips, Examples, and Free Template
• Structure of an Essay: 5 Tips to Write an Outstanding Essay
• 10 Best AI Essay Outline Generators of 2024
• The Best Essay Graders of 2024 That You Can Use for Free!
• Top 10 Free Essay Writing Tools for Students in 2024

Still have questions? Leave a comment

Add Comment

Checklist: Dissertation Proposal

Enter your email id to get the downloadable right in your inbox!

Examples: Edited Papers

Need editing and proofreading services.

• Tags: Academic Writing , College Admission , Essay

A personal statement stands out from other educational documents in that it’s intended to be personal, as the name suggests. It offers the admissions committee a glimpse of your personality and not just your abilities and accomplishments. 

A personal statement requires just the right amount of vulnerability, accompanied by passion and enthusiasm. But first, you need to know what is a personal statement. Let’s take a look.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a personal essay required by selection committees for jobs, scholarships, or universities. It is a summary of your accomplishments, interests, experiences, and goals.  

A personal statement is often confused with a statement of purpose, but these are completely different documents. 

A statement of purpose highlights your career path, academic and professional achievements, and motivations for choosing a particular field of study in a much more formal manner. 

A personal statement, on the other hand, emphasizes both academic achievements and personal aspects. 

An effective personal statement answers questions like:

What are my strengths and weaknesses?

What are my talents and accomplishments?

Why am I applying to the school of my choice?

What are the experiences that piqued my interest in my chosen field of study?

What are the special aspects of the school I’m applying to?

How to write a personal statement

Similar to most writing assignments, breaking down a personal statement into smaller parts can make the writing process much easier. A personal statement follows the standard format of the introduction, body, and conclusion, but you need not write them in that order. 

We recommend writing the introduction at the end, as it’s the most challenging part and requires a higher level of creativity. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty about how to write a personal statement for grad school or for college:

1. Craft an attractive hook or introduction.

Starting your introduction with your name is the biggest mistake you can make. The admissions committee already has access to your personal information and academic credentials and is looking to gain deeper insights into your personality, interests, and motivations. 

To make a strong impression, it’s better to begin with what motivated you to study your chosen field or why you’re interested in studying at a particular university. Let’s look at an example:

One summer while running around in my backyard, I fell down and scraped my knee. My grandfather, being an established doctor, carefully bandaged my wound. His calm, prompt, and comforting demeanor left a lasting impression on me. It sparked my interest in medicine.

2. Elaborate on your accomplishments, relevant skills, and experience.

A personal statement should be authentic to you and should help you stand out amongst your peers. You have to sell yourself to the admissions committee and let them know your skills, accomplishments, and talents without sounding conceited. 

A good way to do this is to avoid mentioning academic achievements which are already mentioned in your transcripts. Instead, mention qualities and insights you’ve gained over the years with the help of real-life experiences. For example:

Leading my school’s basketball team taught me the values of teamwork, coordination, agreeableness, and leadership.  

You can also mention insights gained from a job or internship, a paper or a journal that had an impact on you or a course or session you conducted that taught you something new. 

Working as a nurse in the children’s hospital was an eye-opening experience for me. It not only made me a kinder, more compassionate person but also taught me practical skills such as suturing a wound. 

3. Draft a logical conclusion.

Make sure to tie the conclusion with the body of the personal statement to create a story arc. The concluding statements should carry information about how your chosen field of study or the facilities provided by the universities will be useful to you in your professional career.

Make sure to use emphatic and expressive language to make your personal statement more impactful. For example:

Gaining hands-on experience with the state-of-the-art operating machine provided by your medical department will give me a head-start in my chosen field of neuroscience. 

4. Edit and proofread.

Just like it is with any other important document, proofreading your personal statement is crucial. It ensures that your statement is free of errors and presents you in the best possible light.

You have a few options for proofreading your personal statement. One option is to proofread it yourself, but it can be difficult to catch all of your own mistakes. Another option is to ask a friend or family member to proofread it for you. They can provide a fresh perspective and may catch errors that you missed.

If you want to take your proofreading to the next level, it’s a good idea to have your work proofread by a professional. A personal statement editing service has the critical eye and experience necessary to catch even the most subtle errors.

Note : Although its content and structure remain the same, the length and complexity of a personal statement depending on its purpose. Personal statements for universities and scholarships are typically longer and more detailed as compared to those required for jobs.

Tips for writing a personal statement

Let’s take a look at the tips and tricks to write a personal statement along with relevant examples:

1. Keep it personal.

Although there are certain rules to be followed when writing a personal statement, it is important not to lose your own voice. The admissions committee wants to get to know you as a person and not just as a student.

2. Avoid unnecessarily complicated language.

Using appropriate technical terms in your field can showcase your expertise and understanding of the subject matter to the admissions committee. But overusing or misusing jargon can confuse, or even put them off.

3. Avoid simply listing achievements and experiences.

While highlighting your achievements and experiences is essential, simply listing them is not enough. It’s important to provide insights into what you’ve learned from these experiences since the admissions committee already has access to your transcripts and wants to know more about your personality.

4. Keep a light, positive tone.

Even when writing about a serious topic such as “How I overcame homelessness”, the tone should be inspirational and insightful.

5. Use action words.

Make use of action words to make your text more conversational and engaging. For instance, instead of writing “I was the captain of the volleyball team and we won many tournaments” you can say “As the volleyball captain, I consistently lead my team to victory”. 

Personal statement example

Let’s better understand how to write an impactful personal statement with the help of an effective personal statement example:

As a child, I always found it difficult to relate to children my age. I was quiet, timid, and very vulnerable. I was 17 when I was first diagnosed with depression. With the help of professionals, I was not only able to function better but was also able to integrate into groups. 

The effects of therapy and medication amazed me. The underrated field of psychology had a powerful impact on me. It helped me understand myself as well as those around me better. This is why, when it came to choosing a field of study, I chose abnormal psychology.

In college, I not only topped my course but also conducted drives and free therapy sessions to help those in need. I also published a paper on the effects of appreciation and criticism on mental health. 

I believe that my experiences with mental illness will give me a unique perspective in the field of abnormal psychology. I believe I’ll be able to provide more effective and practical solutions to patients because of my own struggles. My goal is to make a difference in the lives of others by helping them overcome their struggles and find happiness.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do i start a personal statement, do i put my name on a personal statement, how do i structure my personal statement, what to avoid in a personal statement.

Found this article helpful?

One comment on “ How to Write an Impactful Personal Statement (Examples Included) ”

Good job! You showed me how to write a personal statement in simple tips, I appreciate that

Leave a Comment: Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Your vs. You’re: When to Use Your and You’re

Your organization needs a technical editor: here’s why, your guide to the best ebook readers in 2024, writing for the web: 7 expert tips for web content writing.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Get carefully curated resources about writing, editing, and publishing in the comfort of your inbox.

How to Copyright Your Book?

If you’ve thought about copyrighting your book, you’re on the right path.

© 2024 All rights reserved

• Terms of service
• Privacy policy
• Self Publishing Guide
• Pre-Publishing Steps
• Fiction Writing Tips
• Traditional Publishing
• Academic Writing and Publishing
• Partner with us
• Annual report
• Website content
• Marketing material
• Job Applicant
• Cover letter
• Resource Center
• Case studies

• Grammar Checker
• Paraphrasing Tool
• Critique Report
• Writing Reports
• Learn Blog Grammar Guide Community Events FAQ
• Grammar Guide

How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

By Hannah Yang

Table of Contents

What is a personal statement, 6 tips on how to write a personal statement, personal statement examples (for college and university), faqs about writing personal statements, conclusion on how to write a personal statement.

How do you tell someone who you are in just a few hundred words?

It’s certainly no easy task, but it’s one almost every college applicant must do. The personal statement is a crucial part of any college or university application.

So, how do you write a compelling personal statement?

In this article, we’ll give you all the tools, tips, and examples you need to write an effective personal statement.

A personal statement is a short essay that reveals something important about who you are. It can talk about your background, your interests, your values, your goals in life, or all of the above.

Personal statements are required by many college admission offices and scholarship selection committees. They’re a key part of your application, alongside your academic transcript, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities.

The reason application committees ask you to write a personal statement is so they can get to know who you are. 

Some personal statements have specific prompts, such as “Discuss a period of personal growth in your life” or “Tell us about a challenge or failure you’ve faced.” Others are more open-ended with prompts that essentially boil down to “Tell us about yourself.”

No matter what the prompt is, your goal is the same: to make yourself stand out to the selection committee as a strong candidate for their program.

Here are some things a personal statement can be:

It can be funny. If you have a great sense of humor, your personal statement is a great place to let that shine.  

It can be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to open up about hardships in your life or failures you’ve experienced. Showing vulnerability can make you sound more like a real person rather than just a collection of application materials.  

It can be creative. Candidates have got into top schools with personal statements that take the form of “a day in the life” descriptions, third-person short stories, and even cooking recipes.

Now we’ve talked about what a personal statement is, let’s quickly look at what a personal statement isn’t:

It isn’t a formal academic paper. You should write the personal statement in your natural voice, using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me,” not in the formal, objective language you would use to write an academic paper.

It isn’t a five-paragraph essay. You should use as many paragraphs as you need to tell your story instead of sticking to the essay structure you learned in school.

It isn’t a resumé. You should try to describe yourself by telling a clear and cohesive story rather than providing a jumbled list of all of your accomplishments and ambitions.

Here are our top six tips for writing a strong personal statement.

Tip 1: Do Some Serious Self-Reflection

The hardest part of writing a personal statement isn’t the actual process of writing it.

Before you start typing, you have to figure out what to write about. And that means taking some time to reflect on who you are and what’s important in your life.

Here are some useful questions you can use to start your self-reflection. You can either answer these on your own by writing down your answers, or you can ask a trusted friend to listen as you talk about them together.

What were the key moments that shaped your life? (e.g. an important friendship, a travel experience, an illness or injury)

What are you proud of? (e.g. you’re a good listener, you always keep your promises, you’re a talented musician)

How do you choose to spend your time? (e.g. reading, practicing soccer, spending time with your friends)

What inspires you? (e.g. your grandmother, a celebrity, your favorite song)

Doing this self-reflection is crucial for figuring out the perfect topics and anecdotes you can use to describe who you are.

Tip 2: Try to Avoid Cliché Topics

College application committees read thousands of personal statements a year. That means there are some personal statement topics they see over and over again.

Here are a few examples of common personal statement topics that have become cliché:

Winning a tournament or sports game

Volunteering in a foreign country

Moving to a new home

Becoming an older sibling

Being an immigrant or having immigrant parents

If you want to make a strong impression in the application process, you need to make your personal statement stand out from the crowd.

But if your chosen personal statement topic falls into one of these categories, that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t use it. Just make sure to put a unique spin on it so it still delivers something the committee hasn’t seen before.

Good writing = better grades

ProWritingAid will help you improve the style, strength, and clarity of all your assignments.

Tip 3: Show, Don’t Tell

One common mistake you might make in your personal statement is to simply tell the reader what you want them to know about you, such as by stating “I have a fear of public speaking” or “I love to cook.”

Instead of simply stating these facts, you should show the committee what you’re talking about through a story or scene, which will make your essay much more immersive and memorable.

For example, let’s say you want the committee to know you overcame your fear of public speaking. Instead of writing “I overcame my fear of public speaking,” show them what it was like to be onstage in front of a microphone. Did your palms get clammy? Did you feel light-headed? Did you forget your words?

Or let’s say you want the committee to know you love to cook. Instead of writing “I love to cook,” show them why you love to cook. What’s your favorite dish to cook? What does the air smell like when you’re cooking it? What kitchen appliances do you use to make it?

Tip 4: Connect the Story to Why You’re Applying

Don’t forget that the purpose of your personal statement isn’t simply to tell the admissions committee who you are. That’s an important part of it, of course, but your ultimate goal is to convince them to choose you as a candidate.

That means it’s important to tie your personal story to your reasons for applying to this specific school or scholarship. Finish your essay with a strong thesis.

For example, if your story is about overcoming your fear of public speaking, you might connect that story to your ambition of becoming a politician. You can then tie that to your application by saying, “I want to apply to this school because of its fantastic politics program, which will give me a perfect opportunity to use my voice.”

Tip 5: Write in Your Own Voice

The personal statement isn’t supposed to be written in a formal tone. That’s why they’re called “personal” statements because you have to shape it to fit your own voice and style.

Don’t use complicated or overwrought language. You don’t need to fill your essay with semicolons and big words, unless that’s how you sound in real life.

One way to write in your own voice is by speaking your personal statement out loud. If it doesn’t feel natural, it may need changing. 

Tip 6: Edit, Edit, Edit!

It’s important to revise your personal statement multiple times in order to make sure it’s as close to perfect as possible.

A single typo won’t kill your application, but if your personal statement contains multiple spelling errors or egregious grammar mistakes, you won’t be putting your best foot forward.

ProWritingAid can help you make sure your personal statement is as clean as possible. In addition to catching your grammar errors, typos, and punctuation mistakes, it will also help you improve weaknesses in your writing, such as passive voice, unnecessary repetition, and more.

Let’s look at some of the best personal statements that have worked for successful candidates in the real world. 

Harvard Personal Statement Example

Love. For a word describing such a powerful emotion, it is always in the air. The word “love” has become so pervasive in everyday conversation that it hardly retains its roots in blazing passion and deep adoration. In fact, the word is thrown about so much that it becomes difficult to believe society isn’t just one huge, smitten party, with everyone holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.” In films, it’s the teenage boy’s grudging response to a doting mother. At school, it’s a habitual farewell between friends. But in my Chinese home, it’s never uttered. Watching my grandmother lie unconscious on the hospital bed, waiting for her body to shut down, was excruciatingly painful. Her final quavering breaths formed a discordant rhythm with the steady beep of hospital equipment and the unsympathetic tapping hands of the clock. That evening, I whispered—into unhearing ears—the first, and only, “I love you” I ever said to her, my rankling guilt haunting me relentlessly for weeks after her passing. My warm confession seemed anticlimactic, met with only the coldness of my surroundings—the blank room, impassive doctors, and empty silence. I struggled to understand why the “love” that so easily rolled off my tongue when bantering with friends dissipated from my vocabulary when I spoke to my family. Do Chinese people simply love less than Americans do?

This is an excerpt from a personal statement that got the applicant admitted to Harvard University. The applicant discusses her background as a Chinese-American by musing on the word “love” and what that means within her family.

The writer uses vulnerable details about her relationship with her grandmother to give the reader an understanding of where she comes from and how her family has shaped her.  

You can read the full personal statement on the Harvard Crimson website.

Tufts Personal Statement Example

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go,” and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon. Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration. Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear. I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

This is the beginning of a personal statement by Renner Kwittken, who was admitted into Tufts University as a pre-medical student.

Renner uses a humorous anecdote about being a pickle truck driver to describe his love for nanomedicine and how he got involved in his field. You can feel his passion for medicine throughout his personal statement.

You can find Renner’s full essay on the Tufts Admissions page.

Law School Personal Statement Essay Example

For most people, the slap on the face that turns their life around is figurative. Mine was literal. Actually, it was a punch delivered by a drill sergeant at Fort Dix, New Jersey, while I was in basic training. That day’s activity, just a few weeks into the program, included instruction in “low-crawling,” a sensible method of moving from one place to another on a battlefield. I felt rather clever for having discovered that, by looking right rather than down, I eliminated my helmet’s unfortunate tendency to dig into the ground and slow my progress. I could thus advance more easily, but I also exposed my unprotected face to hostile fire. Drill sergeants are typically very good at detecting this type of laziness, and mine was an excellent drill sergeant. So, after his repeated suggestions that I correct my performance went unheeded, he drove home his point with a fist to my face. We were both stunned. This was, after all, the New Army, and striking a trainee was a career-ending move for a drill sergeant, as we were both aware. I could have reported him; arguably, I should have. I didn’t. It didn’t seem right for this good sergeant, who had not slept for almost four days, to lose his career for losing his temper with my laziness. Choosing not to report him was the first decision I remember making that made me proud.

These are the first three paragraphs of an anonymous personal statement by a Wheaton College graduate, who used this personal statement to get into a top-25 law school.

This statement describes a time the applicant faced a challenging decision while in the army. He ended up making a decision he was proud of, and as a result, the personal statement gives us a sense of his character.

You can find the full essay on the Wheaton Academics website.

Here are some common questions about how to write a personal statement.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement depends on the specific program you’re applying to. The application guidelines usually specify a maximum word count or an ideal word count.  

Most personal statements are between 500–800 words. That’s a good general range to aim for if you don’t have more specific guidelines.  

Should Personal Statements Be Different for Scholarships?

Many scholarship applications will ask for personal statements with similar prompts to those of college applications.

However, the purpose of a personal statement you’d write for a scholarship application is different from the purpose of one you’d write for a college application.

For a scholarship application, your goal is to showcase why you deserve the scholarship. To do that, you need to understand the mission of the organization offering that scholarship.

For example, some scholarships are meant to help first-generation college students get their degree, while others are meant to help women break into STEM.

Consider the following questions:

Why is this organization offering scholarships?

What would their ideal scholarship candidate look like?

How do your experiences and goals overlap with those of their ideal scholarship candidate?

You can use the same personal anecdotes you’d use for any other personal statement, but you’ll have a better chance of winning the scholarship if you tailor your essay to match their specific mission.

How to Start a Personal Statement

You should start your personal statement with a “hook” that pulls the reader in. The sooner you catch the reader’s attention, the more likely they’ll want to read the entire essay.

Here are some examples of hooks you can use:

A story (e.g. When the spotlight hit my face, I tried to remind myself to breathe. )

A setting description (e.g. My bedroom floor is covered with dirty laundry, candy wrappers, and crumpled sheet music. )

A funny anecdote (e.g. When I was a little kid, my friends nicknamed me Mowgli because of my haircut. )

A surprising fact (e.g. I've lived in 37 countries .)

There you have it—our complete guide to writing a personal statement that will make you stand out to the application committee.

Here’s a quick recap: 

A personal statement is a short essay that shows an application committee who you are

Start with a strong hook that pulls the reader in

Tell a story to engage the reader 

Write in your own voice, not in a formal tone

Good luck, and happy writing!

Hannah Yang

Hannah is a speculative fiction writer who loves all things strange and surreal. She holds a BA from Yale University and lives in Colorado. When she’s not busy writing, you can find her painting watercolors, playing her ukulele, or hiking in the Rockies. Follow her work on hannahyang.com or on Twitter at @hannahxyang.

Get started with ProWritingAid

Drop us a line or let's stay in touch via:

• Online Students
• Online Alumni
• Faculty & Staff
• African American/Black
• Asian, Pacific Islander & Desi American
• DACA & Undocumented Students
• First Generation
• Hispanic/Latinx
• Indigenous/Native/First Nations
• International
• Justice Impacted
• Middle Eastern/North African/Arab-American
• Military Members and Veterans
• Neurodivergent
• Students With Disabilities
• Liberal Arts
• Social Sciences
• Create a Resume / Cover Letter
• Earn Certifications & Badges
• Expand Your Network / Mentor
• Negotiate an Offer
• Prepare for an Interview
• Explore Your Interests / Self Assessment
• Prepare for Graduate School
• Explore Internships
• Search for a Job

How To Write A Personal Statement & Examples

• Share This: Share How To Write A Personal Statement & Examples on Facebook Share How To Write A Personal Statement & Examples on LinkedIn Share How To Write A Personal Statement & Examples on X

Whether you’re using the Common Application, the Coalition Application, or a school-specific application portal, it can be scary to come up with an essay topic that encompasses the complexity and vastness of who you are as a person. So to help you move past the intimidating aspects and focus more on the fun and meaning, in this post, we’ll describe what differentiates the personal statement from other college essays and what function it serves in your college application.

How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement

A personal statement is a short essay that highlights the best qualities of the writer, usually in the context of school or job applications. Somewhat autobiographical, personal essays delve into the talents, skills, passions, ambitions, and accomplishments of the writer. 

Something to know when applying to schools, scholarships, or companies for a job is that the institution wants to know what kind of person their candidate is. Personal statements enable the evaluation of applicants, not just of what they say about themselves, but also of how they say it. 

Give your essays extra polish Grammarly helps you strengthen your academic writing Write with Grammarly

That makes writing personal statements a useful skill for getting accepted at your top school or dream job. Unfortunately, writing about yourself isn’t always easy—it’s quite a personal topic! So in this guide, we explain everything you need to know about how to write a personal statement, including some personal statement examples.   

What is a personal statement? 

As mentioned above, a personal statement is a resource used to evaluate candidates, especially for school applications, employment, scholarships, and some types of grants. It typically explains a candidate’s relationship with the relevant field, such as an academic discipline or job position. 

Take a look at this personal statement example from Uni Compare . Notice how the writer, a prospective law student, discloses their passion for and understanding of legal matters, while also mentioning their relevant experience and achievements.  

In another personal statement example from a would-be English literature student , the writer links their favorite books to their interest in the subject, even sharing personal stories of watching famous plays live at a theater, before listing off their academic accomplishments.  

>>Read More: How to Communicate About Your Achievements

There are no set rules for how to write a personal statement—a lot of your writing choices depend on the assignment and reader—but they typically fall between 400 and 1,000 words, rarely exceeding a single page. 

Personal statements can be either open or prompted. Open personal statements are when you, the writer, get to choose the main topic. These are often more difficult because it requires astute decision-making: How do you choose which parts of your life to write about? 

Prompted personal statements narrow down the focus. This format usually offers a specific question as a prompt, or at least sets some guidelines for what you should cover. 

How to write a personal statement

When writing a personal statement, follow the normal guidelines to essay writing ; after all, a personal statement is often just a short specialized personal essay. 

As with all serious writing, we recommend the six-step writing process . First and foremost, you need to understand the assignment, in particular the necessary topic(s) and target word count. Once you’re sure you know what you need to do, it’s time to begin. 

1 Brainstorming 

The brainstorming phase is when you come up with the different ideas to mention in your personal statement or decide what the main topic will be if the prompt is open. 

For example, if the assignment asks you to write about a significant life event that influenced who you are, you could start by writing down all your most influential life events so that you could pick your subject from the list. The best choice is not always obvious: In this personal statement example, a student uses a conversation with their grandmother to transition into their interest in economics. 

If you already know the most significant life event, you could then brainstorm the different ways it impacted you. Later, you can choose the best ones from the list to include in your personal statement. 

What if you don’t know what to include in your personal statement? Here are some introspective questions to ask yourself to help you find personal topics to write about:

• What was the greatest challenge you’ve faced in your life? How did you overcome it, and/or what did you learn from it? 
• What are you most passionate about? If you had a billion dollars, what would you choose to do all day? 
• What skills, talents, or expertise do you have that your peers do not? What quirks or traits make you stand out? 
• How does your background or identity affect your life? Do people treat you differently because of who you are? How does it change your behavior? 
• Who are your personal heroes? How has their story changed your life? 

Sometimes it’s hard to accurately reflect on yourself, so feel free to ask friends or loved ones for advice. Find out what talents and skills they admire most about you. What would they say are your best traits? 

Once you have enough ideas to satisfy the requirements of the assignment and meet the word count, you can get started on outlining in the next step. 

2 Preparing 

The preparation, or outlining , phase is when you take all your ideas from brainstorming and organize them into a basic framework for your first draft. 

Before you start structuring everything, however, ask yourself whom you’re writing for. Your reader determines not just your tone, but also what you choose to talk about in your personal statement (and what you choose to omit). 

For example, if you’re writing a personal statement for a college application, the school’s admissions officers will probably be interested in your academic achievements, such as landing on the honor roll. However, if you’re writing a personal statement for a job application, academic achievements like the honor roll might not be worth mentioning. 

Try to glean what your reader wants to know before you begin formulating your personal statement. University recruiters want to know if you match their school or program, so include facts about yourself that demonstrate you’re a good fit. Job recruiters want evidence that you’ll do the job well, so include proof of your work ethic and skill mastery. 

With your specific reader in mind, reread your list of ideas from brainstorming. Choose which ones to keep and which ones to leave out. 

From there, organize your ideas into the three sections of your personal statement: introduction, body, and conclusion. In this stage, you don’t need to worry about the details just yet. For now, just make sure all the required ideas are included and sequenced in the right order. 

3 Drafting 

When first learning how to write a personal statement, remember that the drafting phase is usually the longest and most involved—it’s the part of writing your personal statement where you actually write your personal statement. 

Your rough draft, or first draft, doesn’t need to be perfect. Writing a rough draft is just about getting your ideas down; the next stage, revising, is when you focus on the fine details. For now, just write whatever comes to mind and worry about improving it later. 

Just as when you’re writing a college essay , start strong with an opening hook, then expand on that idea in the following paragraphs. In this personal statement example from a chemistry applicant , the writer starts off with a seemingly unrelated personal anecdote, stoking the reader’s curiosity: 

Swimming from a young age always made me ponder the thought, who cleans the pool and how do they do it? As I grew older I realised it wasn’t a case of who, it is a case of what. Essentially, chemistry held the answer. 

The writer then connects the opening anecdote to the main parts of the personal statement—what the reader wants to know. In this case, it’s why they’re a good fit for the school’s chemistry program. 

Writing objectively about yourself is not easy; you can’t always see the forest for the trees. If you feel stuck, it might help to try freewriting , a technique where you just write down everything that comes to mind, no matter if it’s unusable in the final draft. Freewriting is often the push you need to overcome an initial writer’s block.

Because the topic is your life, feel free to write openly and honestly. A lot of times, your readers want to hear your story in your own words —they can get the facts from your school records or résumé/CV, but they can only get your interpretation of these facts from you. Don’t disappoint them! 

Choosing the perfect words and rearranging the structure is much easier when you already have a rough draft in front of you. Now, you can reread your personal statement and fix any areas that need improvement. 

During the revision stage, follow these tips for self-editing , which include watching out for the passive voice, unnecessary words, repetition, long sentences, and a few other red flags. Don’t worry too much about spelling and grammar mistakes for now; you can handle those later when proofreading .  

For personal statements, make sure everything would be clear to a reader who’s never met you. Because the topic is yourself, you may have forgotten to mention some key detail that a stranger wouldn’t know. 

5 Proofreading

With your personal statement polished, you can begin proofreading . This is when you fix all the technical problems like spelling and grammar mistakes, as well as other general issues like formatting. 

Before you start proofreading, it’s a good idea to take a break from working on your personal statement. For one thing, it’s healthy for you to take some time to relax, especially if you’ve been working on it for a long time. Moreover, returning to your draft after you’re refreshed can help you notice small problems you hadn’t seen before. 

If you’re not confident with your knowledge of English spelling or grammar, you can always get help. Grammarly’s writing suggestions find and highlight any mistakes you make while typing, so you can go back and fix them whenever you like. On top of that, Grammarly’s tone detector helps with your phrasing, letting you know if your language is appropriately formal for a personal statement. 

Those features are all available in Grammarly’s free offering, with even more in Grammarly Premium . Download Grammarly now to see how your writing improves. 

6 Submitting

The last step is an easy one: Turn in your personal statement. Double-check that you’ve fulfilled the requirements, including word count, and make sure it’s in the requested format (PDF, Word document, etc.). 

What comes next, though, is truly the hardest part of writing a personal statement: waiting for a response back! 

Personal Statement

Personal Statement Format

Personal Statement Format | Step-by-Step Guide With Examples

Published on: Apr 13, 2021

Last updated on: Jul 23, 2024

People also read

How to Write a Personal Statement That Gets Noticed

Personal Statement Prompts: Topics & Ideas for Students

Inspiring Personal Statement Examples to Help You Stand Out

Share this article

A personal statement is often required of applicants to jobs, internships, and graduate programs. It can be challenging because you need to answer some questions about yourself in this document while still keeping it interesting!

Your statement should be more than just a list of skills and accomplishments. Here you have the perfect opportunity to write about your career goals, what makes you unique from other candidates.

These statements are always different and dependent on the institution you're writing for. But all types of statements require a specific format as in other academic papers, so make sure to follow these guidelines carefully!

This statement is a core component of the application essay process. In this blog, we will discuss how to write a personal statement in the correct format. So, let's get this started.

On This Page On This Page -->

What is a Proper Personal Statement Format?

You should always follow formatting and structure guidelines when writing your personal statement. By following the proper format, you can ensure all the information is organized correctly for easy reading!

Make sure you format your statement in both interesting and engaging ways. Here is a basic format that should help you get started:

• The perfect length for a statement is 500 words. So, be sure to finish your paper within 495 - 505.
• Keep your paragraphs single-spaced and aligned with an extra line of space from the next.
• Times New Roman is a great font choice for every paper.
• Make sure the font size is 12 pt.
• Mention your name and page number in the header of each page.

How do you format a personal statement heading?

A statement heading should include the name of your document, your name, and for which school or department.

These statements should be formatted in a standard, reader-friendly style. Carefully consider the type of formatting that will make your statement appealing to review.

As admission committees go through thousands of these documents each year, it is important to make sure that you stand out from other applicants.

How to Format a Personal Statement?

Many students ask,  'What is the format of a personal statement?' How should I write my personal statement?

The requirements for writing a statement vary, but generally, it includes specific information in the format.

Introduction

It often begins with an opening statement designed to grab the reader's attention. In this opening paragraph, you can highlight your skills and experiences so they can connect directly to the program you're applying for.

If you are applying for a degree or a position, make sure to include the program name and your title.

Body Paragraphs

In these paragraphs, you need to answer any specific questions about your qualifications, long-term goals, and compatibility with the program.

Should a personal statement have paragraphs?

Yes, your statement is a series of well-written paragraphs that connect together in an elegant and logical way.

Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence to inform the readers of what that paragraph will be focusing on. Also, provide examples from your experience and make sure these are relevant to the argument.

In conclusion, summarize all the points discussed in your body paragraphs. Also, restate your interest in that specific program or position you're applying for.

Highlight how this degree or position will help you achieve your long-term goals.

Personal Statement Format Examples

Do you want to know more about the perfect personal statement format? Check our helpful examples. Going through them will give you a great idea of how to outline your personal statement.

It is important to know the specific details that should be included in your statement. You want it to match who you really are and what makes YOU unique, right? We've provided some good examples of perfect statements below:

It is important to avoid plagiarism, but you should feel free to use the following examples as inspiration for your own statement.

Personal Statement Format for College

A statement for college is written to show admission officers who you are and why your talents deserve a place at their college.

In college personal statements, you must discuss your high school major accomplishments. With the help of this example, you can format your own statement for college.

The following example includes all sorts of ways to ensure that it is personalized and interesting enough, so colleges want YOU!

Personal Statement Format Graduate School

This statement is a chance to share more about who you are. It should not be simply an introspection but also provide insight into your plans and goals.

Do you want to know the best way to create an engaging and creative graduate school personal statement? Check out this example! This will help ensure that all of your information has been properly formatted.

Personal Statement Format for Masters

This statement is an opportunity to express your unique qualities in a way that will make you stand out from other applicants.

You might be wondering why students study the courses they do. They have reasons for wanting to take that specific course. Look at this Master's example to know how they mention those specific reasons.

Personal Statement Format for University

A personal statement is the most important document. It will help you convince the admission committee why you are a deserving candidate to study at their university.

These examples will help you write your own statement in an engaging and informative way.

MBA Personal Statement Format

It's time to take the next step in your career! Get an edge over other applicants by writing the perfect MBA personal statement.

It's not too late to get into the MBA program you've always wanted. This easy personal statement format template will surely help you write one.

Personal Statement Law School Format

This statement is your chance to reflect upon life and show law admission committees who you really are. So, it must be well-written and formatted correctly.

A perfect law school personal statement can be drafted using the following format:

Nursing School Personal Statement Format

The nursing personal statement is an integral part of your application process. It's an opportunity to show off your personality and address any questions that admission committees could have.

The following example will inspire you and ensure that your statement is on the right track.

Personal Statement Format Medical School

Personal statements for medical school are an opportunity to tell your story and explain why you want to be a doctor.

Your medical school personal statement should be creative, interesting, and engaging. The following example is a great way to stimulate your creativity.

Personal Statement Format for Job

What makes you stand out from the others? That's what your statement should be all about. It is an opportunity for self-expression and highlighting what makes you special, so use this space wisely!

Writing a statement for your job application can feel overwhelming, but don't worry! This is one of the short personal statement examples that will guide you through the process.

When you start writing a personal statement, always refer back to the guidelines and examples provided above.

When you are ready to write your statement, remember that it should be professional and follow all the formatting guidelines. After you've done writing, read your personal statement several times to ensure it is error-free.

This statement is a tricky thing to write for a lot of reasons. Sometimes mistakes are just too hard to overlook, and in the end, you lose everything that matters most - your chance at getting into college or university.

Wasting your time on your statement is a huge mistake. However, if you make the wrong choice, it's game over for scholarship opportunities.

Many people miss an opportunity by not doing enough to make their school application form perfect. But there's always a way, and that includes hiring professional writers who can write custom statements for you!

The right professional writer can help you craft a statement that will make it easy for you to get into any college or university of your choice. A statement written by professionals flows smoothly and is impressive throughout.

If that's a tough task for you, get the best college essay help online at CollegeEssay.org  to increase your chances of enrolling in your dream college/university. Bring to the table all of your important information and let our expert writers take care of it.

You can also try out our AI essay writer and make a great first impression!

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is a personal statement.

A personal statement should not be more than 4,000 characters, so you'll need to stay within this limit when writing one. 

Does a personal statement need a title?

There is no need to add titles when submitting your personal statement. Avoid mentioning things that the college wants you to say. Be honest and genuine about yourself! 

Should I leave spaces between paragraphs in my personal statement?

Yes, you should leave spaces between paragraphs to avoid cramped-looking text. 

Nova A. (Literature, Marketing)

As a Digital Content Strategist, Nova Allison has eight years of experience in writing both technical and scientific content. With a focus on developing online content plans that engage audiences, Nova strives to write pieces that are not only informative but captivating as well.

Paper Due? Why Suffer? That’s our Job!

Keep reading

Legal & Policies

• Privacy Policy
• Cookies Policy
• Terms of Use
• Refunds & Cancellations
• Our Writers
• Success Stories
• Our Guarantees
• Affiliate Program
• Referral Program
• AI Essay Writer

Disclaimer: All client orders are completed by our team of highly qualified human writers. The essays and papers provided by us are not to be used for submission but rather as learning models only.

Purdue Online Writing Lab Purdue OWL® College of Liberal Arts

Writing the Personal Statement

Welcome to the Purdue OWL

This page is brought to you by the OWL at Purdue University. When printing this page, you must include the entire legal notice.

Copyright ©1995-2018 by The Writing Lab & The OWL at Purdue and Purdue University. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, reproduced, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without permission. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our terms and conditions of fair use.

The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

Questions to ask yourself before you write:

• What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
• What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
• When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
• How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?
• If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
• What are your career goals?
• Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if it was only average in the beginning)?
• Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
• What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
• What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
• Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
• What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

General advice

Answer the questions that are asked

• If you are applying to several schools, you may find questions in each application that are somewhat similar.
• Don't be tempted to use the same statement for all applications. It is important to answer each question being asked, and if slightly different answers are needed, you should write separate statements. In every case, be sure your answer fits the question being asked.

Tell a story

• Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable.

Be specific

• Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge as the logical conclusion to your story.

Find an angle

• If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a "hook" is vital.

Concentrate on your opening paragraph

• The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.

Tell what you know

• The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Too many people graduate with little or no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the profession or field they hope to enter. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, seminars you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication of your judgment.

Don't include some subjects

• There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues).

Do some research, if needed

• If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

Write well and correctly

• Be meticulous. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely. Adhere to stated word limits.

Avoid clichés

• A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements.

For more information on writing a personal statement, see the personal statement vidcast .

• How to Order

Personal Statement Writing

Personal Statement Format

A Complete Guide to a Perfect Personal Statement Format

People also read

How to Write a Personal Statement - Easy Tips & Examples

10+ Personal Statement Examples to Elevate Your Application

Common App Personal Statement Prompts - 2024

Do you struggle with formatting your personal statement? Many students face challenges when it comes to formatting their personal statements.

It's common for students to feel unsure about how to structure their personal statements. Questions like, "How do I organize it? What tone should I use? Am I including the right information?" can be really stressful and confusing, adding more pressure to an already stressful application process.

But don't worry! This blog is here to help. We'll make it easy for you to understand personal statement formatting, so you can create a strong and impressive personal statement. 

So, let’s begin!

• 1. What is a Correct Personal Statement Format?
• 2. How to Format A Personal Statement
• 3. Personal Statement Format Examples

What is a Correct Personal Statement Format?

Like other academic papers, personal statements should also be formatted and structured according to a standard set of guidelines. In this way, you can make sure all the information in your personal statement is in an organized manner.

Usually the guidelines for formatting are provided by institutions where you are applying. Different institutions can have varying requirements so it's important to be mindful of their requirements.

However, here are the basic guidelines that you can follow if you don’t know how to format a personal statement.

• Word Limit: Aim for around 500 words, staying within 495-505 words.
• Spacing: Use single-spacing within paragraphs and add an extra line of space between each paragraph.
• Font Style: Opt for a universally accepted font style, such as Times New Roman.
• Font Size: Maintain a 12-point font size throughout your personal statement.
• Header: Include your name and the page number in the header of each page for easy organization.

A standard formatting convention should be used to make your personal statement readable. Keep in mind that review committees go through hundreds of personal statements so it is important to make sure your personal statement stands out. 

Here is a sample personal statement format template you can use to write a personal statement:

How to Format A Personal Statement

The requirements for writing a personal statement vary, but generally, a personal statement includes certain information in the following format.

Step 1 - Determining Word Limit and Line-Spacing

Knowing the word limit is crucial. Ensure your personal statement aligns with the specified range, that is typically around 500 words. 

Implement double-spacing within paragraphs, adding an extra line of space between each paragraph. This technique creates a visually clear and structured layout for easy reading.

Step 2 - Font Style and Size

Consistency in font style is important for readability. Choose a widely accepted and easily readable font like Times New Roman or Arial. 

Maintain a font size of 12 points throughout your personal statement. This standard size aids in presenting a professional appearance and facilitates smooth reading.

Step 3 - Header Inclusion for Organization

To keep your document organized, consider including the title and page number in the header of each page. 

This simple addition aids in document management and ensures easy navigation, particularly if your personal statement extends across multiple pages.

Step 4 - Structuring the Content

Your personal statement's structure plays a pivotal role in its impact. Here's a breakdown of how to organize your narrative effectively:

• Opening Paragraph - Begin with an introduction that clearly states the purpose of your personal statement. Engage the reader with an attention-grabbing opening statement and specify the program or position you're applying for.
• Body Paragraphs - Detail your academic background, relevant experiences, and accomplishments. Showcase your skills and attributes as a strong candidate, write about any extra activities you took part in high school. Explain why the program or position you're applying for interests you and how it aligns with your ambitions.
• Transition to Goals - Smoothly transition from your experiences to your goals, setting the stage for discussing your academic and career aspirations. Express gratitude for considering your application and end with a memorable statement or closing remark.

Step 5 - Finalizing Your Personal Statement

Ensure your personal statement is signed off with your full name. If submitting a printed copy, include your signature for authenticity. Proofread your document for clarity, coherence, and accuracy before submission.

Remember, each organization may have its own set of rules, so always double-check and follow their specific guidelines for the final touches on your personal statement.

Personal Statement Format Examples

If you are looking for helpful personal statement format examples, you are at the right place. Going through examples is one of the best practices to get an idea of how to write a perfect personal statement.

That’s why we have provided you with some good personal statement format examples to help you know what specific details should be included. 

Personal Statement Format For Grad School

Personal Statement Format For University

Personal Statement Format Law School

Personal Statement Format For College

Personal Statement Format For Masters

Personal Statement Format For Job

Personal Statement Format For Scholarship

Check out more flawlessly formatted personal statement examples to learn more!

Facing formatting hurdles with your personal statement? Even after this guide, if you're still feeling adrift, our writing service is here for you.

But if you feel like you need additional help, we have you covered! Just say ' do my essay cheap ', and MyPerfectWords.com will provide a high-quality essay at a price that fits your budget.

Our dedicated team excels at crafting standout personal statements. Our team is skilled at delivering perfectly formatted personal statements. 

So, why risk it? Order now to buy personal statement !

Write Essay Within 60 Seconds!

Cathy has been been working as an author on our platform for over five years now. She has a Masters degree in mass communication and is well-versed in the art of writing. Cathy is a professional who takes her work seriously and is widely appreciated by clients for her excellent writing skills.

Paper Due? Why Suffer? That’s our Job!

Keep reading

HigherGrad provides relevant articles and content to help you in making decisions regarding graduate school, but that content should not substitute (or be considered advice) for your own due diligence in making the right educational and financial decisions. HigherGrad simply compiles what we think is the most helpful content for success as a general guide to graduate school. You are ultimately responsible for your own educational choices and actions.

By continuing to browse on this website, you agree to the use of cookies on your device to enhance your experience and for analytical purposes. if you do not accept the use of cookies, please exit this site. to learn more, please see our cookie policy . in addition, this site uses affiliate links, please read our affiliate disclosure.

• How to start a personal statement: The attention grabber

Applying to university

• Getting started
• UCAS Tariff points
• Calculate your UCAS Tariff points
• Amendments to the Tariff consultation
• Offer rate calculator
• How to use the offer rate calculator
• Understanding historical entry grades data
• Admissions tests
• Deferred entry
• Personal statement advice and example: computer science
• Personal statement advice: English
• Personal statement advice: Midwifery
• Personal statement advice: animal science
• Personal statement advice: biology
• Personal statement advice: business and management
• Personal statement advice: chemistry
• Personal statement advice: dance
• Personal statement advice: dentistry
• Personal statement advice: drama
• Personal statement advice: economics
• Personal statement advice: engineering
• Personal statement advice: geography
• Personal statement advice: history
• Personal statement advice: law
• Personal statement advice: maths
• Personal statement advice: media studies and journalism
• Personal statement advice: medicine
• Personal statement advice: modern languages
• Personal statement advice: music
• Personal statement advice: nursing
• Personal statement advice: pharmacy
• Personal statement advice: physiotherapy
• Personal statement advice: politics
• Personal statement advice: psychology
• Personal statement advice: social work
• Personal statement advice: sociology
• Personal statement advice: sports science
• Personal statement advice: statistics
• Personal statement advice: teacher training and education
• Personal statement advice: veterinary medicine
• Personal statement: finance and accounting
• Filling in your application
• Staying safe online
• How to write a personal statement that works for multiple courses
• The new personal statement for 2026 entry
• How To Write Your Undergraduate Personal Statement
• Fraud and similarity

How to end your personal statement

• Introducing the personal statement tool
• Personal statement dos and don'ts
• Personal statement week
• What to include in a personal statement
• Using AI and ChatGPT to help you with your personal statement
• Using your personal statement beyond a university application
• Carers, estranged students, refugees, asylum seekers, and those with limited leave to remain
• Personal statement guides
• References for mature students

The best statements tend to be genuine and specific from the very start. You'll be on the right track if you show your enthusiasm for the subject or course, your understanding of it, and what you want to achieve.

Admissions tutors – the people who read and score your personal statement – say don’t get stressed about trying to think of a ‘killer opening’. Discover the advice below and take your time to think about how best to introduce yourself.

Liz Bryan: HE Coordinator and Careers Advisor, Queen Elizabeth Sixth Form College

Preparing to write your personal statement.

Start by making some notes . The personal statement allows admissions tutors to form a picture of who you are. So, for the opener, think about writing down things, such as:

• why you’re a good candidate
• your motivations
• what brings you to this course

If you’re applying for multiple courses , think about how your skills, academic interests, and the way you think are relevant to all the courses you've chosen.

Top tips on how to write your statement opener

We spoke to admissions tutors at unis and colleges – read on for their tips.

1. Don't begin with the overkill opening

Try not to overthink the opening sentence. You need to engage the reader with your relevant thoughts and ideas, but not go overboard .

Tutors said: ‘The opening is your chance to introduce yourself, to explain your motivation for studying the course and to demonstrate your understanding of it. The best personal statements get to the point quickly. Go straight in. What excites you about the course and why do you want to learn about it more?’

Be succinct and draw the reader in, but not with a gimmick. This isn't the X Factor. Admissions tutor

2. Write about why you want to study that course

Think about why you want to study the course and how you can demonstrate this in your written statement :

’Your interest in the course is the biggest thing. Start with a short sentence that captures the reason why you’re interested in studying the area you’re applying for and that communicates your enthusiasm for it. Don't waffle or say you want to study something just because it's interesting. Explain what you find interesting about it.’

It's much better to engage us with something interesting, relevant, specific and current in your opening line… Start with what's inspiring you now, not what inspired you when you were six. Admissions tutor

3. Avoid cliches

Try to avoid cliches and the most obvious opening sentences so you stand out from the very first line . UCAS publishes a list of common opening lines each year. Here are just some overused phrases to avoid using in your personal statement:

• From a young age…      
• For as long as I can remember…
• I am applying for this course because…
• I have always been interested in…
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed…

And try not to use quotes . Quotations are top of the list of admissions tutors' pet hates.

4. Maybe don't begin at the start?

’Concentrate on the main content of your statement and write the introduction last. I think the opening line is the hardest one to write, so I often say leave it until the end and just try and get something down on paper.’

It may be easier to get on with writing the main content of your statement and coming back to the introduction afterwards –that way you will also know what you’re introducing.

I often advise applicants to start with paragraph two, where you get into why you want to study the course. That's what we're really interested in. Admissions tutor

The personal statement tool image

Don’t be tempted to copy or share your statement.

UCAS scans all personal statements through a similarity detection system to compare them with previous statements.

Any similarity greater than 30% will be flagged and we'll inform the universities and colleges to which you have applied. 

Find out more

Joseph bolton: year 2 history& politics student, university of liverpool.

• Do talk about you and your enthusiasm for the subject from the very start.
• Do be specific. Explain what you want to study and why in the first two sentences.
• Do come back to the opening sentences if you can’t think what to write straightaway.
• Don’t waste time trying to think of a catchy opening.
• Don't waffle – simply explain what you find interesting about the subject and show that you know what you are applying for.
• Don't rely on someone else's words. It's your statement after all – they want to know what you think.

One final thought

Think about making a link between your opening sentence and closing paragraph – a technique sometimes called the 'necklace approach’.

You can reinforce what you said at the start or add an extra dimension. For example, if you started with an interesting line about what’s currently motivating you to study your chosen degree course, you could link back to it at the end, perhaps with something about why you’d love to study this further at uni.

Need more advice?

• Struggling with the conclusion to your personal statement? Read our guide on how to finish your statement the right way .
• Read more dos and don’ts when writing your personal statement . 
• Discover what to include in your personal statement .
• Start your opening sentences with our personal statement builder now.

Start your search now

Get your UCAS Hub

Your place to discover your options and research your future.

You might also like to read

Sponsored articles ucas media service, take a personalised tour of our campus, apprenticeships – the facts, make the most of your open day.

Login to your account

Remember Me

Register for a Free Account

Access sample lessons, a free LSAT PrepTest, and 100 question explanations today!

Password (twice) * password strength indicator

⭐️How to Format Your Law School Personal Statement

Check the application of every school to which you’re applying, but in general, you should follow these guidelines.

I prefer a one-line header. Put your name on the left, your LSAC number in the middle, and the words “Personal Statement,” followed by a page number, on the right. It looks like this:

In case you’re not comfortable with Word headers, I’ve made a correctly formatted .docx file with a one-line header.  Click here to download the sample text, then substitute your information for the placeholders.

You can also put all the information on the right-hand side, in three lines, like this:

If you use a three-line header on the first page, you may want to use a shorter header—name, page number—on subsequent pages.

The Essay Body

• Don’t give your essay a title.
• Use twelve-point, Times New Roman font (an eleven-point font is fine too if the application doesn't specify)
• Use one-inch margins all around.
• Double-space your essay.
• Left-align or justify your essay.
• Add half-inch indentations to each paragraph.
• Don’t add an extra return between paragraphs.
• Use one space after periods.

I’ve implemented this formatting in the personal statement format sample .

Learn about our admissions consulting and editing services .

Lesson Note

No note. Click here to write note.

Click here to reset

Leave a Reply Cancel

You must be logged in to post a comment. You can get a free account here .

12 Personal Statement Examples + Analysis 2024

If you’re applying to college, you’ll most likely need to write a personal statement as part of your college application. (And please note that the personal statement examples below are for undergraduate applications—if you’re trying to find grad school statement of purpose examples , please head to that link.)

But before diving into analyzing some great personal statement examples, it helps to get some context on what a personal statement actually is, and what writers should plan to include when writing their own personal statement.

What is a personal statement?

It’s the main essay required by the Common Application as well as most other application systems. They basically require you to answer some version of the question “Who are you, and what do you value?” And in recent years, the main Common Application essay has become more and more important in colleges’ decision making process, especially as many colleges are relying less and less on standardized test scores.

Why read personal statement examples?

In our work with students, we often encourage students to review examples of personal statements to get a sense of what a great essay might look like and to just generally share a wide range of topics, structures, and writing styles so that they can see what’s possible when writing this essay. In this spirit, we’re sharing 12 of our favorite examples from the past few years. We’ve also included analysis for what makes them outstanding to (hopefully) help you uplevel your own essay.

What should a personal statement include?

The personal statement should demonstrate the qualities, skills, and values that you’ve cultivated over your life and how those skills have prepared you for attending college. I (Ethan) have spent the last 15 years answering this question, which you can learn more about in my free 1-hour guide .

In our opinion, a great personal statement example has 4 qualities . After reading the essay, you can identify whether your essay or topic show each of the four qualities by asking yourself the questions below:

Values : Can you name at least 4-5 of the author’s core values? Do you detect a variety of values, or do the values repeat?

Vulnerability : Does the essay sound like it’s mostly analytical or like it’s coming from a deeper, more vulnerable place? Does it sound like the author wrote it using mostly his or her head (intellect) or his or her heart and gut? After reading the essay, do you know more about the author AND feel closer to him or her?

Insight : Can you identify at least 3-5 “so what” moments of insight in the essay? Are these moments kind of predictable, or are they truly illuminating?

Craft : Do the ideas in the essay connect in a way that is logical, but not too obvious (aka boring)? Can you tell that the essay represents a series of carefully considered choices and that the author spent a lot of time revising the essay over the course of several drafts?

Want a more thorough guide on how to write a personal statement? We’ve got you covered.

Let’s read some essays.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Example #1 - The Tally on My Uniform
• Example #2 - Quattro Lingue
• Example #3 - 12
• Example #4 - Flying
• Example #5 - Arab Spring in Bahrain
• Example #6 - Poop, Animals and the Environment
• Example #7 - Entoptic Phenomena
• Example #8 - The Builder & Problem Solver
• Example #10 - The Little Porch and a Dog (With Spanish Translation)
• Example #10 - Life As an Undocumented Student
• Example #11 - Umbra
• Example #12 - Angry brown girl, feminist, singer, meme lover

Personal Statement Example #1 The Tally on My Uniform

Day 19: I am using my school uniform as a slate to tally the days. As the ink slowly seeps through the fabric of my shirt, I begin to understand that being a conscious Arab comes with a cost. Flashback. Day 7: I come across a live stream on social media, 1,200 Palestinian political prisoners are on their seventh day of a hunger strike against the Israeli occupation. It is the first I have heard of its occurrence. I allow myself to follow the news daily through social media while regional mainstream media and our local news channels refrain from reporting any news of the strike. Day 13: I am engulfed by the cry for justice. I feel helplessly overwhelmed, not wanting to confront reality, but I force myself to anyway; actively searching, refreshing my phone to tune into live streams from protests, plugging in “Palestinian hunger strike” on the search engine to stay connected to the cause. Day 18: No one else seems to know anything about what is going on. I am compelled to find a way to embody the struggle. In my first period class, I see a marker beside the whiteboard. I pick it up, not sure what I’m going to do, but then hear myself asking my classmates to each draw a vertical line on my shirt. It seems funny at first--they laugh, confused. But each time the marker touches the fabric it tells a story. It is a story of occupied countries, a story in which resisting apartheid becomes synonymous with criminality, a story we refuse to address because we have grown too apathetic to value life beyond our borders. As my classmates draw the tally, together we tell the story of the hunger strike and mourn the distance human beings have created between each other. Day 20: My uniform has become a subject of question. Each pair of eyes that fix their gaze on the ink, I share the story of our Palestinian compatriots. The initial responses are the same: disbelief, followed by productive conversation on our moral responsibility to educate ourselves on the conflict. Day 28: Each day the strike continues, I have asked my classmates to draw another line on the tally. While it still comes across as unsettling, it seems to no longer represent the reality of the hunger strike. My classmates are no longer interested in what it means. I am supposed to move on already. I am called in to the principal’s office. After being instructed to get a new shirt, I choose to challenge the order. As long as the hunger strike lasts, I will continue to voice the reality of the hundreds of prisoners, in hopes of recreating the sense of responsibility I originally sensed in my peers. Day 41: A compromise deal is offered to the political prisoners and they suspend their hunger strike. I walk out of school with a clean uniform and feel whole again, but unnaturally so. I was left feeling an unspoken kind of weakness where I broke under the realisation that not all sorrows could resonate with people enough for me to expect them to lead movements. I would need to be the one to lead, to recreate the energy that the tally once inspired. I decided to found a political streetwear brand, Silla, where fashion choices transcend superficial aesthetics by spreading a substantial message of equality and donating the profits to NGOs that advocate for social change. Through Silla, I am able to stay in touch with my generation, keeping them engaged with issues because of how they can now spend their money Silla has mobilized people to voice their opinions that align with equity and equality. Because of my adherence to justice, I was elected student government president and I use it as a platform to be vigilant in reminding my peers of their potential, inspiring them to take action and be outspoken about their beliefs. When the ink seeped through the fabric of my uniform it also stained my moral fibres, and will forever remind me that I am an agent of change. — — —

Why This Essay Worked: 

Uncommon topic and uncommon connections. Overall, this is just a stand out piece. The unique story of how the author had lines drawn on her shirt pulls the reader in. But while this story is not something you’d typically find in other people’s applications, don’t feel intimidated. Having an uncommon topic makes writing a strong essay a bit easier, but by itself is not enough for a great essay. What really elevates this piece is the connections and observations that the author makes about her classmates and the school’s collective response to distant but important political conflict. The student does a great job evoking the emotional response of her peers and beautifully articulates her own indignation with the apathy that emerges. When you write your essay, consider how you can use uncommon connections to take your reader to places they may not have expected to go.

Experimental structure. One of the many cool things about this essay is its structure, which demonstrates the quality of craft . The author uses a montage structure that emphasizes numbers and chronology, two ideas that are central to the content of the piece itself. By playing with the idea of time and distance, the applicant emphasizes some of the critical ideas in her essay and shows that she’s unafraid to think outside the box. Remember, admissions officers read tons of personal statements; an uncommon structure can go a long way in setting you apart from the crowd.

Answers the question “so what?” The thing that really brings this essay home is the last paragraph. Although the story of the uniform being marked by lines for each day of the hunger strike is fascinating, we’re not totally sure of its relevance to the life of the author until she gets to that last bit. In it, she tells us about her politically-aware fashion line and her appointment as school president. This answers the question of “so what” because it shows us that she took the lessons she learned during the strike and applied it to her life outlook/practices more broadly. After you’ve written your first draft, go back through it and make sure you’ve clearly shown what you’ve done to act upon your reflections or values .

Personal Statement Example #2 Quattro Lingue

Day 1: “Labbayka Allāhumma Labbayk. Labbayk Lā Sharīka Laka Labbayk,” we chant, sweat dripping onto the wispy sand in brutal Arabian heat, as millions of us prepare to march from the rocky desert hills of Mount Arafat to the cool, flat valleys of Muzdalifa. As we make our way into the Haram, my heart shakes. Tears rolling down my cheeks, we circumvent the Ka’ba one last time before embarking on Hajj, the compulsory pilgrimage of Islam. It became the spiritual, visceral, and linguistic journey of a lifetime. Day 3: “Ureed an Aśhtareę Hijab.” “Al-harir aw al-Qathan?” “Ķhilaahuma.” “Kham ťhamanu-huma?” “Mi’at Riyal.” “La. Khizth sab’een.” “Sa’uethikhá Sab’een.” “Shukran laķ.” “Show me hijabs.” “Silk or cotton?” “Both.” “How much do these cost?” “100 Riyal.” “No. Take 70.” “Fine. Thanks Hajjah.” In Makkah, I quickly learn shopkeepers rip off foreigners, so exchanges like this, where I only have to say a few Arabic words, make me appear local. It also connects me with real locals: the Saudi Arabian pharmacist who sells me cough syrup, the Egyptian grandmother seeking directions to the restroom, the Moroccan family who educates me on the Algerian conflict. As the sounds of Arabic swirl around me like the fluttering sands (Jamal, Naqah, Ibl, Ba’eer…), I’m reconnecting with an old friend: we’d first met when I decided to add a third language to English and Bengali. Day 6: The tents of Mina. Temperature blazing. Humidity high. I sleep next to an old woman who just embarked on her twentieth Hajj. When I discover she’s Pakistani, I speak to her in Urdu. Her ninety-year old energy--grounded, spiritual, and non-materialistic--inspires me. So far, every day has been a new discovery of my courage, spirit, and faith, and I see myself going on this journey many more times in my life. My new friend is curious where I, a Bengali, learned Urdu. I explain that as a Muslim living in America’s divided political climate, I wanted to understand my religion better by reading an ancient account of the life of Prophet Muhammad, but Seerat-un-Nabi is only in Urdu, so I learned to read it. I was delighted to discover the resonances: Qi-yaa-mah in Arabic becomes Qi-ya-mat in Urdu, Dh-a-lim becomes Zaa-lim… Urdu, which I had previously only understood academically, was the key to developing a personal connection with a generation different from mine. Day 8: “Fix your hair. You look silly,” my mom says in Bengali. When my parents want to speak privately, they speak our native tongue. Phrases like, “Can you grab some guava juice?” draw us closer together. My parents taught me to look out for myself from a young age, so Hajj is one of the only times we experienced something formative together. Our “secret” language made me see Bengali, which I’ve spoken all my life, as beautiful. It also made me aware of how important shared traditions are. As I think back to those sweltering, eclectic days, the stories and spiritual connections linger. No matter what languages we spoke, we are all Muslims in a Muslim country, the first time I’d ever experienced that. I came out of my American bubble and discovered I was someone to be looked up to. Having studied Islam my whole life, I knew the ins and outs of Hajj. This, along with my love for language, made me, the youngest, the sage of our group. Whether at the Al-Baik store in our camp or the Jamarat where Satan is stoned, people asked me about standards for wearing hijab or to read the Quran out loud. I left the journey feeling fearless. Throughout my life, I’ll continue to seek opportunities where I’m respected, proud to be Muslim, and strong enough to stand up for others. The next time I go to Hajj, I want to speak two more languages: donc je peux parler à plus de gens and quiero escuchar más historias. — — —

It’s visceral and evocative. Details about the specific resonance of Urdu words and the conversations this author shared with the people they met on their Hajj brings this essay to life. Nearly every line is full of vivid imagery and textured language . Those details make this piece fun to read and truly bring us into the world of the author. Whenever you’re writing, think about how you can engage all five senses to show, not simply tell, how you experienced something. 

It uses images to convey a sense of time, place, and self. Notice how this author’s use of images and details give this personal statement a dream-like quality, hopping between spaces, people, languages, and thoughts. As a result, the author is able to talk about so many different aspects of their culture. The way the details are conveyed also speaks to the aesthetic sensibilities of the author, providing another window into who they are as a person. When you’re writing, think about how you can use imagistic language to show the reader what you care about. 

It uses dialogue effectively. Dialogue isn’t always the best strategy, as it can take up a good chunk of your word count without explicitly saying anything about who you are. In this piece, however, the author does a great job of using their conversations with people they meet along their journey to convey their values and interests. Not only does the dialogue emphasize their fascination with language and cultural exchange, but it breaks up what would have been dense paragraphs into nice manageable chunks that are easier to read.

Personal Statement Example #3 12

12 is the number of my idol, Tom Brady. It’s the sum of all the letters in my name. It’s also how old I was when I started high school. In short, I skipped two grades: first and sixth. Between kindergarten and eighth grade, I attended five schools, including two different styles of homeschooling (three years at a co-op and one in my kitchen). Before skipping, I was perennially bored. But when I began homeschooling, everything changed. Free to move as fast as I wanted, I devoured tomes from Jefferson, Hamilton, and Madison to London, Kipling, and Twain. I wrote 10-page papers on subjects from Ancient Sparta and military history to the founding of the United States and the resounding impact of slavery. I discovered more than I ever had, kindling a lifelong joy for learning. While high school offered welcome academic opportunities--studying two languages and taking early science APs chief among them--the social environment was a different beast. Many classmates considered me more a little brother than a true friend, and my age and laser focus on academics initially made me socially inept. I joined sports teams in spring and built better relationships, but my lack of size (5’1”) and strength relegated me to the end of the bench. Oftentimes, I secretly wished I was normal age. That secret desire manifested itself in different ways. While I’ve loved football since I was a little kid, I soon became obsessed with personal success on the gridiron--the key, I figured, to social acceptance and the solution to my age problem. I had grown up obsessively tracking my New England Patriots. Now, instead of armchair quarterbacking, I poured hours into throwing mechanics and studying film after my homework each night. Itching to grow, I adopted Brady’s diet, cutting dairy, white flour, and processed sugar. But in the rush to change, my attitude towards academics shifted; I came to regard learning as more a job than a joy. No matter what talents I possessed, I viewed myself as a failure because I couldn’t play. That view held sway until a conversation with my friend Alex, the fastest receiver on the team. As I told him I wished we could switch places so I could succeed on the gridiron, he stared incredulously. “Dude,” he exclaimed, “I wish I was you!” Hearing my friends voice their confidence in my abilities prompted me to reflect: I quickly realized I was discounting my academic talents to fit a social construct. Instead of pushing myself to be something I wasn’t, I needed to meld my talents and my passions. Instead of playing sports, I recognized, I should coach them. My goal to coach professionally has already helped me embrace the academic side of the game—my side—rather than sidelining it. I have devoured scouting tomes, analyzed NFL game film, spoken with pros like Dante Scarnecchia, and even joined the American Football Coaches Association. Translating that coach’s mentality into practice, I began explaining the concepts behind different plays to my teammates, helping them see the subtleties of strategy (despite Coach Whitcher’s complaints that I was trying to steal his job). And I discovered that my intellectual understanding of the game is far more important in determining my success than my athletic tools: with the discipline, adaptability, and drive I had already developed, I’ve become a better player, student, and friend. Physically and mentally, I’ve changed a lot since freshman year, growing 11 inches and gaining newfound confidence in myself and my abilities. Instead of fighting for social acceptance, I’m free to focus on the things I love. Academically, that change re-inspired me. Able to express my full personality without social pressure, I rededicated myself in the classroom and my community. I still secretly wish to be Tom Brady. But now, I’m happy to settle for Bill Belichick. — — —

There’s a wonderful hook. The first line is great. It’s funny, intriguing, and doesn’t give too much away. In just the first bit we already know that the author is a football enthusiast, detail-oriented, and academically gifted. Not only does it tell us a lot about him, but it allows him to transition into the meat of his story about how his unconventional educational trajectory influenced the person he is today. Think about how you can use the first sentence or two of your personal statement to effectively introduce readers to your narrative voice and rope them into reading more.

It has a great “Aha!” moment. Great personal statements often convey growth. In this example, the author struggles to find a place for himself in high school after skipping two grades and being homeschooled for a significant portion of his life. It isn’t until his friend on the football team affirms his value that he starts to see all of the ways in which his unique skills benefit the people around him. If you think of your essay like a movie reel of your life, this moment is sort of like the climax. It’s when the mindset of the main character changes and allows him to embrace what he’s got. The anticipation and release of this “aha moment” keeps readers engaged in the piece and demonstrates your ability, as the applicant, to be self-reflective and adaptable to change.

It covers a broad time frame, but still fits in tons of nice details. This essay essentially talks about the author’s life from 5th grade to present day. He’s not focusing on one specific moment. This is absolutely something you can do as well if you want to demonstrate how you’ve grown over a longer period of time. However, notice that the author here doesn’t sacrifice depth for breadth. Even though he’s covering a pretty significant chunk of time, he still touches on great details about his favorite classes and authors, football role models, and conversations with friends. These are what make the essay great and specific to his life. If you’re going to talk about more than just one event or moment, don’t forget to highlight important details along the way.

Learn how to write your personal statement here

Personal statement example #4 flying.

As a young child, I was obsessed with flying. I spent hours watching birds fly, noting how the angle of their wings affected the trajectory of their flight. I would then waste tons of fresh printer paper, much to the dismay of my parents, to test out various wing types by constructing paper airplanes. One day, this obsession reached its fever pitch. I decided to fly. I built a plane out of a wooden clothes rack and blankets, with trash bags as precautionary parachutes. As you can imagine, the maiden flight didn’t go so well. After being in the air for a solid second, the world came crashing around me as I slammed onto the bed, sending shards of wood flying everywhere. Yet, even as a five-year-old, my first thoughts weren’t about the bleeding scratches that covered my body. Why didn’t the wings function like a bird’s wings? Why did hitting something soft break my frame? Why hadn’t the parachutes deployed correctly? Above all, why didn’t I fly? As I grew older, my intrinsic drive to discover why stimulated a desire to solve problems, allowing my singular passion of flying to evolve into a deep-seated love of engineering. I began to challenge myself academically, taking the hardest STEM classes offered . Not only did this allow me to complete all possible science and math courses by the end of my junior year, but it also surrounded me with the smartest kids of the grades above me, allowing me access to the advanced research they were working on. As such, I developed an innate understanding of topics such as protein function in the brain and differential equation modeling early in high school, helping me develop a strong science and math foundation to supplement my passion for engineering. I also elected to participate in my school’s engineering pathway . As a team leader, I was able to develop my leadership skills as I identified and utilized each member’s strength to produce the best product. I sought to make design collaborative, not limited to the ideas of one person. In major group projects, such as building a hovercraft, I served as both president and devil’s advocate, constantly questioning if each design decision was the best option, ultimately resulting in a more efficient model that performed significantly better than our initial prototype. Most of all, I sought to solve problems that impact the real world . Inspired by the water crisis in India, I developed a water purification system that combines carbon nanotube filters with shock electrodialysis to both desalinate and purify water more efficiently and cost-effectively than conventional plants. The following year, I ventured into disease detection, designing a piezoresistive microcantilever that detected the concentration of beta-amyloid protein to medically diagnose a patient with Alzheimer’s disease, a use for cantilevers that hadn’t yet been discovered. The project received 1st Honors at the Georgia Science Fair. Working on these two projects, I saw the raw power of engineering – an abstract idea gradually becoming reality . I was spending most of my days understanding the why behind things, while also discovering solutions to prevalent issues. In a world that increasingly prioritizes a singular solution, I am captivated by engineering’s ability to continuously offer better answers to each problem. Thirteen years have passed since that maiden flight, and I have yet to crack physical human flight . My five-year-old self would have seen this as a colossal failure. But the intense curiosity that I found in myself that day is still with me. It has continued to push me, forcing me to challenge myself to tackle ever more complex problems, engrossed by the promise and applicability of engineering. I may never achieve human flight . However, now I see what once seemed like a crash landing as a runway, the platform off of which my love of engineering first took flight. — — —

The author isn’t afraid to ask questions. This writer is clearly a curious and intellectual person. The questions they ask in the first part of the essay (“Why didn’t the wings function like a bird’s wings? Why did hitting something soft break my frame? Why hadn’t the parachutes deployed correctly? Above all, why didn’t I fly?”) highlight that. In your essay, don’t shy away from asking tough questions. In the end, the author still hasn’t achieved human flight, but you can clearly see how his interest in the whys of life has propelled him to take on new engineering problems. Sometimes, you don’t need to answer the questions you pose for them to serve a purpose in your essay.

It returns back to where it started. There’s something satisfying about returning to your intro in your conclusion. In this case, the author comes back to his first flying experience and re-evaluates what the experience means to him now as well as how his thinking has evolved. Think of your essay as a circle (or maybe a blob depending on what you’re writing about). Your end should loop back to where you started after your narrative arc is mostly complete.

Uses specific jargon (but not too much). We might not know what a “piezoresistive microcantilever” is or how it relates to “beta-amyloid proteins,” but that’s not really the point of including it in this essay. By using these terms the author signals to us that he knows what he’s talking about and has a degree of expertise in engineering. On the flip side, you don’t want to use so much jargon that your reader has no idea what you’re saying. Including a little bit of field-specific language can go a long way, so you don’t want to overdo it. If you’re not sure what specific details or language to include, check out our 21 Details Exercise and see if that helps you brainstorm some ideas.

Personal Statement Example #5 Arab Spring in Bahrain

February 2011– My brothers and I were showing off our soccer dribbling skills in my grandfather’s yard when we heard gunshots and screaming in the distance. We paused and listened, confused by sounds we had only ever heard on the news or in movies. My mother rushed out of the house and ordered us inside. The Arab Spring had come to Bahrain. I learned to be alert to the rancid smell of tear gas. Its stench would waft through the air before it invaded my eyes, urging me inside before they started to sting. Newspaper front pages constantly showed images of bloodied clashes, made worse by Molotov cocktails. Martial Law was implemented; roaming tanks became a common sight. On my way to school, I nervously passed burning tires and angry protesters shouting “Yaskut Hamad! “ [“Down with King Hamad!”]. Bahrain, known for its palm trees and pearls, was waking up from a slumber. The only home I had known was now a place where I learned to fear. September 2013– Two and a half years after the uprisings, the events were still not a distant memory. I decided the answer to fear was understanding. I began to analyze the events and actions that led to the upheaval of the Arab Springs. In my country, religious and political tensions were brought to light as Shias, who felt underrepresented and neglected within the government, challenged the Sunnis, who were thought to be favored for positions of power. I wanted equality and social justice; I did not want the violence to escalate any further and for my country to descend into the nightmare that is Libya and Syria. September 2014– Pursuing understanding helped allay my fears, but I also wanted to contribute to Bahrain in a positive way. I participated in student government as a student representative and later as President, became a member of Model United Nations (MUN), and was elected President of the Heritage Club, a charity-focused club supporting refugees and the poor. As an MUN delegate, I saw global problems from perspectives other than my own and used my insight to push for compromise. I debated human rights violations in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict from an Israeli perspective, argued whether Syrian refugees should be allowed entry into neighboring European countries, and then created resolutions for each problem. In the Heritage Club, I raised funds and ran food drives so that my team could provide support for less fortunate Bahrainis. We regularly distributed boxed lunches to migrant workers, bags of rice to refugees and air conditioners to the poor. April 2016 – The Crown Prince International Scholarship Program (CPISP) is an intensive leadership training program where participants are chosen on merit, not political ideologies. Both Shia and Sunni candidates are selected, helping to diversify the future leadership of my country. I was shortlisted to attend the training during that summer. July 2016 – The CPISP reaffirmed for me the importance of cooperation. At first, building chairs out of balloons and skyscrapers out of sticks didn’t seem meaningful. But as I learned to apply different types of leadership styles to real-life situations and honed my communication skills to lead my team, I began to see what my country was missing: harmony based on trust. Bringing people together from different backgrounds and successfully completing goals—any goal—builds trust. And trust is the first step to lasting peace. October 2016 – I have only begun to understand my people and my history, but I no longer live in fear. Instead, I have found purpose. I plan to study political science and economics to find answers for the issues that remain unresolved in my country. Bahrain can be known for something more than pearl diving, palm trees, and the Arab Spring; it can be known for the understanding of its people, including me. — — —

Orients the reader in time. As you’ve seen in several other example essays already, date and time can be used very effectively to structure a piece. This author talks about an intensely political topic, which changed drastically over the course of a specific timeframe. Because of that, the use of timestamps elevates the piece and makes it easier for readers to follow the chronology of the story. If your essay topic is something that has changed significantly over time or has developed in a chronological way, this might be a great blueprint for you. Check out our Feelings and Needs Exercise to brainstorm for this kind of essay where you learn something along a narrative arc from Point A to Point B. 

Gives us the right amount of context. When you’re talking about political or cultural issues or events, don’t assume that your reader has a base level of knowledge. Although you don’t want to spend too much time on the nitty gritty details of policy reform or history, you should offer your reader some sense of when something was taking place and why. The author of this piece does that very succinctly and accessibly in his “September 2013” entry.

Emphasizes the author’s role and contributions. With political topics, it’s easy to get carried away talking about the issue itself. However, remember that this is ultimately a personal statement, not a political statement. You want to make sure you talk about yourself in the essay. So, even though the author is discussing a huge event, he focuses on his participation in Model UN, CRISP, and Heritage Club. When possible, think about how big issues manifest in your day to day life as well as what you specifically are doing to take action.

READY TO START WRITING? How To Start a College Essay: 9 Surefire Techniques

Personal statement example #6 poop, animals and the environment.

I have been pooped on many times. I mean this in the most literal sense possible. I have been pooped on by pigeons and possums, house finches and hawks, egrets and eastern grays. I don’t mind it, either. For that matter, I also don’t mind being pecked at, hissed at, scratched and bitten—and believe me, I have experienced them all. I don’t mind having to skin dead mice, feeding the remaining red embryonic mass to baby owls. (Actually, that I do mind a little.) I don’t mind all this because when I’m working with animals , I know that even though they probably hate me as I patch them up, their health and welfare is completely in my hands. Their chances of going back to the wild, going back to their homes, rely on my attention to their needs and behaviors. My enduring interest in animals and habitat loss led me to intern at the Wildlife Center of Silicon Valley over the summer , and it was there that I was lucky enough to meet those opossum joeys that defecated on my shoes whenever I picked them up (forcing me to designate my favorite pair of shoes as animal hospital shoes, never to be worn elsewhere again). It was there that a juvenile squirrel decided my finger looked fit to suckle, and that many an angry pigeon tried to peck off my hands. And yet, when the internship ended, I found myself hesitant to leave . That hesitation didn’t simply stem from my inherent love of animals. It was from the sense of responsibility that I developed while working with orphaned and injured wildlife. After all, most of the animals are there because of us—the baby opossums and squirrels are there because we hit their mothers with our cars, raptors and coyotes end up there due to secondary rodenticide poisoning and illegal traps. We are responsible for the damage, so I believe we are responsible for doing what we can to help. And of course, there is empathy—empathy for the animals who lost their mothers, their homes, their sight and smell, their ability to fly or swim. I couldn’t just abandon them. I couldn’t just abandon them the same way I couldn’t let big oil companies completely devastate the Arctic, earth’s air conditioner . The same way I couldn’t ignore the oceans, where destructive fishing practices have been wiping out ocean life. These are not jobs that can be avoided or left half-finished. For some, the Arctic is simply too far away, and the oceans will always teem with life, while for others these problems seem too great to ever conquer. And while I have had these same feelings many times over, I organized letter-writing campaigns, protested, and petitioned the oil companies to withdraw. I campaigned in local parks to educate people on sustaining the seas. I hold on to the hope that persistent efforts will prevent further damage. I sometimes wonder if my preoccupation with social and environmental causes just makes me feel less guilty. Maybe I do it just to ease my own conscience, so I can tell people “At least I did something.” I hope that it’s not just that. I hope it’s because my mother always told me to treat others as I want to be treated, even if I sometimes took this to its logical extreme, moving roadkill to the bushes along the side of the road because “Ma, if I was hit by a car I would want someone to move me off the road, too.” The upshot is that I simply cannot walk away from injustice, however uncomfortable it is to confront it . I choose to act, taking a stand and exposing the truth in the most effective manner that I think is possible. And while I’m sure I will be dumped on many times, both literally and metaphorically, I won’t do the same to others. — — —

Another great hook. Much like the football essay, this one starts off with a bang. After hearing about all the pecking, hissing, pooping, and clawing that the author endured, chances are you want to read more. And notice how the initial pooping hook comes back in the last line of the essay.

The scope gets wider as the piece progresses. The author starts with specific details about an internship opportunity then gradually works her way to broader topics about social justice and environmental activism. Every part of the piece emphasizes her values, but they are more explicitly stated towards the end. This trajectory is nice because it allows the reader to ease themselves into the world of the author and then see how specific opportunities or interests connect to broader goals or ambitions. When you’re revising your essay, take a look at each paragraph and see if each one brings something new to the table or moves the narrative forward in some way.

It’s funny . This author does a great job of using humor as a tool to endear her to readers, but not as a crutch to lean on when she has nothing else to say. Not only is she cracking jokes about poop, but also deeply interrogating her own motivations for being interested in social and environmental activism. The balance of humor and genuine reflection is fun to read while also saying a lot about the author and her values/interests.

Personal Statement Example #7 Entoptic Phenomena

I subscribe to what the New York Times dubs “the most welcomed piece of daily e-mail in cyberspace.” Cat pictures? Kardashian updates? Nope: A Word A Day. Out of the collection of diverse words I received, one word stuck out to me in particular. Entoptic : relating to images that originate within the eye (as opposed to from light entering the eye). Examples of entoptic phenomena: floaters, thread-like fragments that appear to float in front of the eye but are caused by matter within the eye. (for a picture: https://wordsmith.org/words/entoptic.html) As I read through this entry, I was suddenly transported back to the first grade, when I was playing Pokémon Go one day with my friends during recess. Our version was epic: we escaped into virtual reality with our imagination rather than our phone screens, morphing into different Pokémon to do battle. My friend Ryan had just transformed into an invisible ghost-type Pokémon capable of evading my attacks. Flustered, I was attempting to evolve my abilities to learn to see the invisible. Between rubbing my eyes and squinting, I began to make out subtle specks in the air that drifted from place to place. Aha—the traces of the ghost Pokémon! I launched a thunderbolt straight through the air and declared a super-effective knockout. ...Of course, I never was able to explain what I was seeing to my bewildered friends that day in first grade. But after learning about entoptic phenomena, I realized that my entoptic adventure was not a hallucination but, in fact, one of my first intellectual milestones, when I was first able to connect meticulous observation of my environment to my imagination. Nowadays, I don’t just see minuscule entoptic phenomena: I see ghosts, too. Two of their names are Larry and Kailan, and they are the top-ranked players in the Exynos League. Exynos is the name of the elaborate basketball league I have created in my imagination over the last ten years of playing basketball on the neighborhood court in the evenings. As I play, I envision Larry and Kailan right there with me: reaching, stealing, and blocking. Undoubtedly, I might look a little silly when I throw the ball backwards as if Larry blocked my layup attempt—but imagining competitors defending me drives me to be precise in my execution of different moves and maneuvers. More than that, it is a constant motivator for all my endeavors: whether I’m researching for debate or studying for the next math contest, I am inventing and personifying new competitive ghosts that are hard at work every minute I’m off task. But I perceive perhaps the most vivid images through music, as I tell a different story with each piece I play on the violin. When I play Bach’s lively Prelude in E Major, for example, I visualize a mouse dashing up and down hills and through mazes to escape from an evil cat (à la Tom and Jerry). But when I play Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto, I describe a relationship plagued by unrequited love. I revel in the intellectual challenge of coming up with a story that is not only consistent with the composer’s annotations but also resonates with my own experiences. Between re-living Tom and Jerry episodes and shooting fadeaway three-pointers against ghosts, then, perhaps entoptic phenomena don’t tell my whole story. So, here’s my attempt—in the form of a word of the day, of course: Pokémon Boom : a legendary form of augmented reality so pure that it is commonly mistaken for hallucination. Denizens of this world are rumored to watch Netflix re-runs without WiFi and catch many a Pikachu via psychokinesis. — — —

It makes tons of uncommon connections. Think about the range of topics covered in this piece: words, Pokémon, basketball, ghosts, debate, math, and music (to name just a few). Yet the author uses the idea of imagination and its relation to vision to weave these disparate topics into a coherent narrative. In fact, his ability to do so emphasizes his ability to think creatively in ways that the average person may not. To find these, consider brainstorming everything you want colleges to know about you and then think of interesting ways in which these might intersect. 

It doesn’t try to be overly intellectual. This essay spends most of its time talking about things that we wouldn’t traditionally consider “academic” or “college-y.” In fact, at least a third of it is devoted solely to Pokémon. The author briefly touches on his interest in math and debate, but otherwise it’s used more as a short example than a key point. The takeaway is: you don’t have to talk about classes or academic interests to write a killer essay. You absolutely can if you want to, but feel free to let your imagination run wild. If something excites or intrigues you, try writing a draft about it and see where it takes you.

It’s specific to the author. The combination of examples and insights you see in this essay truly couldn’t have been written by anyone else. Imagine you’re the admissions officer reading this application. It would absolutely stand out from the other essays in the bunch. Sure, other people play basketball. Sure, other people might like Pokémon or enjoy music. But, the particular way in which the author articulates his interests and connects them makes it memorable.

Personal Statement Example #8 The Builder & Problem Solver

Since childhood, I have been an obsessive builder and problem solver . When I was 6, I spent two months digging a hole in my backyard, ruining the grass lawn, determined to make a giant koi pond after watching a show on HGTV. After watching Castaway when I was 7, I started a fire in my backyard--to my mother's horror--using bark and kindling like Tom Hanks did. I neglected chores and spent nights locked in my room drawing pictures and diagrams or learning rubik's cube algorithms while my mother yelled at me through the door to go to sleep. I've always been compulsive about the things I set my mind to. The satisfaction of solving problems and executing my visions is all-consuming. But my obsessive personality has helped me solve other problems, too. When I was 8, I taught myself how to pick locks . I always dreamed of how cool it must have been inside my brother’s locked bedroom. So I didn't eat at school for two weeks and saved up enough lunch money to buy a lockpicking set from Home Depot. After I wiggled the tension wrench into the keyhole and twisted it counterclockwise, I began manipulating the tumblers in the keyhole with the pick until I heard the satisfying click of the lock and entered the room. Devouring his stash of Lemonheads was awesome, but not as gratifying as finally getting inside his room. As the projects I tackled got bigger, I had to be more resourceful . One day in history class after reading about early American inventions, I decided to learn how to use a Spinning Jenny. When my parents unsurprisingly refused to waste $500 on an 18th century spinning wheel, I got to work visiting DIY websites to construct my own by disassembling my bike and removing the inner tube from the wheel, gathering string and nails, and cutting scrap wood. For weeks, I brushed my two cats everyday until I had gathered enough fur. I washed and soaked it, carded it with paddle brushes to align the fibers, and then spun it into yarn, which I then used to crochet a clutch purse for my grandmother on mother's day. She still uses it to this day. In high school, my obsessive nature found a new outlet in art . Being a perfectionist, I often tore up my work in frustration at the slightest hint of imperfection. As a result, I was slowly falling behind in my art class, so I had to seek out alternate solutions to actualize the ideas I had in my head. Oftentimes that meant using mixed media or experimenting with unconventional materials like newspaper or cardboard. Eventually I went on to win several awards, showcased my art in numerous galleries and magazines, and became President of National Art Honors Society. Taking four years of art hasn't just taught me to be creative, it’s taught me that there are multiple solutions to a problem. After high school I began to work on more difficult projects and I channeled my creativity into a different form of art - programming . I’m currently working on an individual project at the Schepens Institute at Harvard University. I'm writing a program in Matlab that can measure visual acuity and determine what prescription glasses someone would need. I ultimately plan to turn this into a smartphone app to be released to the general public. The fact is that computer coding is in many ways similar to the talents and hobbies I enjoyed as a child—they all require finding creative ways to solve problems . While my motivation to solve these problems might have been a childlike sense of satisfaction in creating new things, I have developed a new and profound sense of purpose and desire to put my problem solving skills to better our world. — — —

It turns a perceived weakness into a critical strength. At the beginning of the essay, the author talks about all of the problems she caused because of her obsession (ironically) with problem-solving. However, as the piece progresses, we begin to see how her childlike curiosity and interest in making things became a clear asset. It becomes a way of emphasizing values like resourcefulness, empathy, and dedication. In several other essay examples, we’ve highlighted this idea of growth. This example is no exception. Highlighting the ways in which you’ve changed or reframed your thinking is a great thing to show off to college admissions officers. If you know you’ve experienced some significant change but you’re not sure how to describe it, use our Feelings and Needs Exercise to get started.

There’s a discussion of what’s next. Many colleges are interested not only in what you’ve done, but also how you’d like to pursue your interests in the future. The author here spends some time at the end talking about her plans for a prescription-measuring smartphone app and her general interest in learning more about computer coding. While the piece has a clear conclusion, these examples highlight the ongoing nature of her educational journey and her openness to further learning. It answers the question of “ so what? ”

EXPERIENCING COLLEGE ESSAY OVERLOAD? READ ABOUT COMBINING YOUR COLLEGE ESSAY PROMPTS TO SAVE 20+ WRITING HOURS

Personal statement example #9 the little porch and a dog.

It was the first Sunday of April. My siblings and I were sitting at the dinner table giggling and spelling out words in our alphabet soup. The phone rang and my mother answered. It was my father; he was calling from prison in Oregon. My father had been stopped by immigration on his way to Yakima, Washington, where he’d gone in search of work. He wanted to fulfill a promise he’d made to my family of owning our own house with a nice little porch and a dog. Fortunately, my father was bailed out of prison by a family friend in Yakima. Unfortunately, though, most of our life savings was spent on his bail. We moved into a rented house, and though we did have a porch, it wasn’t ours. My father went from being a costurero (sewing worker) to being a water-filter salesman, mosaic tile maker, lemon deliverer, and butcher. Money became an issue at home, so I started helping out more. After school I’d rush home to clean up and make dinner. My parents refused to let me have a “real” job, so on Saturday afternoons I’d go to the park with my older brother to collect soda cans. Sundays and summertime were spent cleaning houses with my mother. I worked twice as hard in school. I helped clean my church, joined the choir, and tutored my younger sister in math. As tensions eased at home, I returned to cheerleading, joined a school club called Step Up , and got involved in my school’s urban farm, where I learned the value of healthy eating. Slowly, life improved. Then I received some life-changing news. My father’s case was still pending and, due to a form he’d signed when he was released in Yakima, it was not only him that was now in danger of being deported, it was my entire family. My father’s lawyer informed me that I’d have to testify in court and in fact our stay in the US was now dependent on my testimony. The lawyer had an idea: I had outstanding grades and recommendation letters. If we could show the judge the importance of my family remaining here to support my education, perhaps we had a chance. So I testified. My father won his case and was granted residency. Living in a low-income immigrant household has taught me to appreciate all I’ve been given.  Testifying in court helped me grow as a person, has made me more open-minded and aware of the problems facing my community. And my involvement in the urban farm has led me to consider a career as a nutritionist. Though neither of my parents attended college, they understand that college is a key factor to a bright future and therefore have been very supportive. And though we don't yet have the house with the small porch and the dog, we're still holding out hope. I believe college can help. — — —

Drops us in a moment in time. The beginning of this essay is a bit disorienting because it places us in a scene within the author’s life as they experience it. We don’t know all of the information, so we’re a bit confused, but that confusion makes us want to read more. This is a great tactic when done well because it helps us identify with the author and piques our curiosity.

Shows the agency, independence, and resilience of the applicant. The author here goes through a lot over the course of the essay. They have to face very real fears about incarceration, deportation, and financial instability on a daily basis. Talking about the ways in which they approached these obstacles highlights their ability to think clearly under pressure and make the most of what they have. If you have faced significant hardships , worked through them, learned valuable lessons, and want to share these with colleges, the personal statement can be a good place to do that. If you’d prefer to write about something else in your personal statement, but you’d still like to mention your challenges somewhere in your application, you can instead briefly describe them in your Additional Information section. If you want to write about struggles that are particularly related to COVID-19, check out our guide for specific suggestions.

Spanish Translation:

Era el primer domingo de abril. Mis hermanos y yo estábamos sentados en la mesa del comedor riendonos y deletreando palabras en nuestra sopa de letras. El teléfono sonó y mi madre respondió. Era mi padre. El estaba llamando desde la cárcel en Oregon. Mi padre había sido detenido por inmigración en su camino a Yakima, Washington, donde había ido en busca de trabajo. Quería cumplir una promesa que le había hecho a mi familia de tener nuestra propia casa con un pequeño y agradable porche y un perro. Afortunadamente, mi padre fue rescatado de la cárcel por un amigo de la familia en Yakima. Pero lamentablemente la mayor parte de nuestros ahorros se gastó en su fianza . Nos mudamos a una casa alquilada, y aunque teníamos un porche, no era nuestra. Mi padre pasó de ser un costurero (trabajador de coser) de ser un vendedor de filtros de agua, fabricante de baldosas de mosaicos, libertador de limones, y carnicero. El dinero se convirtió en un problema en casa, así que comencé a ayudar más. Después de la escuela llegaba temprano a mi hogar para limpiar y preparar la cena. Mis padres se negaron a dejarme tener un trabajo "real.” Por lo tanto, los sábados por la tarde me iba al parque con mi hermano mayor para recoger latas de refrescos. En domingos y en el verano limpiaba casas con mi madre. Trabajé dos veces más duro en la escuela. Ayudé a limpiar mi iglesia, me uní al coro, y dí clases particulares a mi hermana menor en las matemáticas. Mientras las tensiones disminuyeron en casa, volví al grupo de porristas, me uní a un club escolar llamado Step Up, y me involucré en la granja urbana de mi escuela, donde aprendí el valor de la alimentación saludable. Poco a poco, la vida mejoraba. Luego recibí una noticia que cambia la vida. El caso de mi padre todavía estaba pendiente, y debido a una forma que había firmado cuando fue liberado en Yakima, no sólo era él que estaba ahora en peligro de ser deportado, era toda mi familia. El abogado de mi padre me informó  que yo tendría que declarar ante los tribunales, y de hecho, nuestra estancia en los EE.UU. ahora dependia de mi testimonio. El abogado tuvo una idea: yo tenía sobresalientes calificaciones y cartas de recomendaciones. Si pudiéramos demostrar a la juez la importancia de que mi familia se quedará aquí para apoyar a mi educación, tal vez tuviéramos una oportunidad. Así que di mi testimonio. Mi padre ganó su caso y se le concedió la residencia. Vivir en un hogar de inmigrantes de bajos ingresos me ha enseñado a apreciar todo lo que se me ha dado . Dar mi testimonio en el tribunal me ha ayudado a crecer como persona y  me ha hecho más consciente de los problemas que se enfrentan en mi comunidad. Y mi implicación en la granja urbana me ha llevado a considerar una carrera como nutricionista . Aunque ninguno de mis padres asistieron a la universidad, ellos entienden que la universidad es un factor clave para un futuro brillante, y por lo tanto, han sido un gran apoyo . Y aunque todavía no tenemos la casa con el pequeño porche y el perro, todavía estamos tendiendo la esperanza. Creo que la universidad puede ayudar. — — —

Personal Statement Example #10 Life As an Undocumented Student

At six years old, I stood locked away in the restroom. I held tightly to a tube of toothpaste because I’d been sent to brush my teeth to distract me from the commotion. Regardless, I knew what was happening: my dad was being put under arrest for domestic abuse. He’d hurt my mom physically and mentally, and my brother Jose and I had shared the mental strain. It’s what had to be done. Living without a father meant money was tight, mom worked two jobs, and my brother and I took care of each other when she worked. For a brief period of time the quality of our lives slowly started to improve as our soon-to-be step-dad became an integral part of our family. He paid attention to the needs of my mom, my brother, and me. But our prosperity was short-lived as my step dad’s chronic alcoholism became more and more recurrent. When I was eight, my younger brother Fernando’s birth complicated things even further. As my step-dad slipped away, my mom continued working, and Fernando’s care was left to Jose and me. I cooked, Jose cleaned, I dressed Fernando, Jose put him to bed. We did what we had to do. As undocumented immigrants and with little to no family around us, we had to rely on each other. Fearing that any disclosure of our status would risk deportation, we kept to ourselves when dealing with any financial and medical issues. I avoided going on certain school trips, and at times I was discouraged to even meet new people. I felt isolated and at times disillusioned; my grades started to slip. Over time, however, I grew determined to improve the quality of life for my family and myself. Without a father figure to teach me the things a father could, I became my own teacher. I learned how to fix a bike, how to swim, and even how to talk to girls. I became resourceful, fixing shoes with strips of duct tape, and I even found a job to help pay bills. I became as independent as I could to lessen the time and money mom had to spend raising me. I also worked to apply myself constructively in other ways. I worked hard and took my grades from Bs and Cs to consecutive straight A’s. I shattered my school’s 1ooM breaststroke record, and learned how to play the clarinet, saxophone, and the oboe. Plus, I not only became the first student in my school to pass the AP Physics 1 exam, I’m currently pioneering my school’s first AP Physics 2 course ever. These changes inspired me to help others. I became president of the California Scholarship Federation, providing students with information to prepare them for college, while creating opportunities for my peers to play a bigger part in our community. I began tutoring kids, teens, and adults on a variety of subjects ranging from basic English to home improvement and even Calculus. As the captain of the water polo and swim team I’ve led practices crafted to individually push my comrades to their limits, and I’ve counseled friends through circumstances similar to mine. I’ve done tons, and I can finally say I’m proud of that. But I’m excited to say that there’s so much I have yet to do. I haven’t danced the tango, solved a Rubix Cube, explored how perpetual motion might fuel space exploration, or seen the World Trade Center. And I have yet to see the person that Fernando will become.   I’ll do as much as I can from now on. Not because I have to. Because I choose to. — — —

Again, the author shows growth. We’ve said it a couple times, but it’s nice to highlight growth when possible. Although the author’s family circumstances and immigrant status meant he had to face significant hardships, he learned how to take care of themselves and use his obstacles as motivation to succeed. We see concrete signs of growth in the way he improved his grades and got more involved in school clubs like the California Scholarship Federation as well as athletic extracurriculars like swimming. Essentially, he shows how he made the best of his situation.

The author’s curiosity is palpable. One of the best things about this essay is the very end. The writer has already shown us how much he has had to overcome and how much he’s thrived in high school despite his circumstances. However, he doesn’t just stop. He tells us about all the other things he hopes to do and conveys a clear excitement at the possibility for learning in the future. There’s something lovely about seeing someone who is excited for what the future might hold. It endears him to readers and demonstrates his natural inclination to continue pushing forward, no matter what life might throw his way. Plus, it’s worth noting that he ends on the quality of autonomy , which was his #1 value when you completed the Values Exercise .

Personal Statement Example #11 Umbra

Umbra: the innermost, darkest part of a shadow The fifth set of chimes rings out and I press my hands against the dusty doors. My nose itches, but scratching would smudge the little black whiskers painted onto my face. I peer through the tiny crack between the cupboard doors, trying to glimpse the audience. The sixth set of chimes, my cue, begins, and I pop onto stage, the brilliant lights flooding my vision. Clara and Drosselmeyer stand to my left, and in front of me lies an endless ocean of audience. I pause a moment, taking it in, then do my best mouse scurry towards the wings. I love performing and dancing to connect with an audience. I dance to inspire others, to share my joy and passion, and because I love the rush of excitement while I’m surrounded by the stage lights .  My hands, covered in grease, hurt terribly as I help another girl with the wire crimper. We force the handles together, and our Anderson connector is finally ready. People scurry around us—several students are riveting metal, assisted by my father (for me, robotics is a family activity), while another pair, including my younger brother, works on assembling the drive train. The next room is filled with shouted Java commands and autonomous code. I’m working on a system that will focus on the reflective tape on our target, allowing the camera to align our shooting mechanism. I love the comradery in robotics, the way teams support each other even amid intense competitions. I love seeing the real world application of knowledge, and take pride in competing in front of hundreds of people. Most of all, I love spending time with my family, connecting with them in our own unique way. Back in the electrical room, I plug in my connector, and the room is filled with bright green light .  I pull on a pair of Nitrile gloves before grabbing my forceps. I carefully extract my latest Western Blot from its gel box, placing it on the imaging system. I’m searching for the presence of PARP1 and PLK1 in dysplasia and tumor cells, especially in reference to DNA damage and apoptosis. I’ve already probed the blot with a fluorescent reagent for imaging. On the screen, I see my bands of protein expression, the bands of red light showing PARP1 and the bands of green showing PLK1. I haven’t been doing research for long, but I’ve already fallen in love with constantly having something new to learn.  Christmas carols play softly as I chase my little brother around the living room, trying to get him to wear a Santa hat. The smell of tamales wafts through the air as my mom and grandmother stand over the pot of mole sauce. The ornament boxes are opened on the floor, each one special to our family, representing our adventures, our love, our history. My dad is winding a mile-long string of lights around the tree, covering the room with a soft glow. My homemade gifts—hats, scarves, blankets I’ve knitted—lie messily wrapped beneath the tree. My family has made tamales on Christmas Eve for generations, and each year it’s a way for us to connect to both each other and our heritage.  Light will usually travel in a perfectly straight line, but if it comes in contact with something it can bounce off it or bend around it, which is why people make shadows. The very innermost part of that shadow, the umbra, is where no light has bent around you—it has completely changed direction, bounced off. People are constantly changing and shaping the light around them, and never notice. But in hindsight, I see it’s the lights that have shaped me. — — —

It demonstrates craft. This author went through 10+ drafts of this essay, and her effort shows in her refined language and structure. She uses images to beautiful effect, drawing us into each experience in her montage, from the moments on stage to robotics to the lab to her family. She also demonstrates craft through the subtlety of her structural thread—we’ve bolded light above, to make it more obvious, but notice how she essentially saves what would traditionally be her introduction for her final paragraph (with some beautiful, refined phrasing therein), and uses “Umbra” and light to thread the paragraphs. This is very hard to pull off well, and is why she went through so many revisions, to walk a fine line between subtlety and clarity.

Show and tell. Rather than just “ Show, don’t tell ,” in a college essay, we think it’s useful to show your reader first, but then use some “telling” language to make sure they walk away with a clear understanding of what’s important to you. For example, this author shows her values through details/actions/experiences—more on values in a sec—then uses the ends of her body paragraphs to more directly tell us about those values and reflect on what they mean to her. And her final paragraph both shows and tells, using language that offers strong symbolism, while also ending with some poetic phrasing that tells us how this all comes together (in case we somehow missed it).

Values and insight/reflection. Because values are core to your essay and application, we’re going to end this post discussing them one more time. Notice how each paragraph demonstrates different values (art/performing, community, engagement, inspiration, joy/passion in the first paragraph alone) and reflects on how or why those values are important to her. We walk away with a strong sense of who this student is and what she would bring to our college campus.

Personal Statement Example #12 Angry brown girl, feminist, singer, meme-lover

My Twitter bio reads: angry brown girl, feminist, singer, meme-lover. You will notice live-tweets of my feminist Pride and Prejudice thoughts, analyses of Hamilton’s power for musical representation, and political memes. Just as my posts bring together seemingly disparate topics, I believe there is a vibrancy that exists at the multidimensional place where my interests intersect.  Growing up as a debater and musician, it was easy to see the two as distinct entities where I had to make unequivocal choices. At the start of my junior year, I decided not to participate in the musical in order to work for Emerge California, an organization that helps Democratic women run for office. There I learned about data science, gender distributions in public office, and how to work with the evil printer. I also halted my voice and piano lessons to focus on building my student-led non-profit, Agents of Change. As someone who has diverted my energy into community activism, I can attest to the power of grassroots movements. It has been so rewarding to measure the impact that my team has had on my community. But even so, I felt that I was losing touch with the music that was such a profound part of me.  I found a new way of being when I started combining my artsy and political sides. I took an intensive class on protest music, where I learned how political movements have been shaped by the music of their time. While in the class, we were asked to compose our own songs. I am not a songwriter, but I am an activist, and I embraced the opportunity to turn music into an outlet for my political beliefs. As a first-generation American, I am dedicated to raising awareness about refugee rights and immigration. My songs about the Syrian Refugee Crisis let me find a way to bring the two sides of me together and gave me a rush that neither music nor politics by themselves would have provided.  This introduction led me to apply to the Telluride Association Protest Poetics program, where I dove deeper into my own identity. I wrote songs about police brutality and the ways that as a non-black person of color I am implicated in instances of subliminal racism. Over the course of the program, as I became more familiar with the visual, literary, and performance art we analyzed, I slowly started to realize that, though I confront colorism, jokes about Indian culture, and intra-community violence in some form every day, my proximity to whiteness still gives me immense amounts of privilege. I have come to know that this means I have a responsibility to both be at the forefront of movements, and conscious of not stepping over the voices of other intersectional identities. I hope that the music I choose to perform and the way I live my life can amplify, not overwrite, any of the struggles that others deal with daily.  Last year, I had another opportunity to use music to pay homage to an issue I care deeply about. In my South Asian community, mental health is an issue that is often papered over. When a member of my school community committed suicide, I was asked to sing “Amazing Grace” for the school to both unify and honor the student. Though I thought that I had really understood the power of music, holding that space for my entire school had a profound resonance that I still don’t fully understand.  My voice is an instrument for change -- whether it be through me raising my hand to contribute to a discussion in a classroom, speaking out against gun violence at a rally, or singing at an event of solidarity. I know that someday my voice, in conjunction with many other unique voices and perspectives, will make a difference. — — —

Get clear on the story you’re telling. Debate? Political organizing? Musical theater? Protest music? This writer probably had a lot more to say about all of those experiences. But we don’t get the whole backstory about her journey toward musical theater. Why? Because she’s clear on what this story is about (she may have even written a logline to get that clarity…). We don’t need a lot of context about her decision “not to participate in the musical” because this essay isn’t about her experiences with musical theater; it’s about her forging a new identity by combining seemingly disparate interests (e.g., music and political advocacy). Telling us every musical she’s ever been in won’t help us “get” what she’s saying in this essay (and she has the activities list to tell us that…). Instead, she shows us only the details relevant to her trying to balance a love of music with her newfound interests: she decides “not to participate in the musical,” and she “halts voice and piano lessons.”

Bridge the gap (between paragraphs). Stronger essays have paragraphs with clear relationships to one another. This writer uses various phrases to achieve that clarity. When she starts paragraph four with “this introduction,” you understand that she’s referring to her “songs about the Syrian Refugee Crisis” from the end of paragraph three. Similarly, she resolves the problem of her “losing touch” with music at the end of paragraph two by beginning paragraph three by stating she found a “new way of being…” She’s using those key moments of transition to tell her readers: hey, I’m going somewhere with all these ideas, you can trust me.

You don’t have to have all the answers . When the writer tells us that she sang “Amazing Grace” to honor someone in her community who died by suicide, she gets vulnerable—she says that she still doesn't “fully understand” the effects of that moment. In admitting that she’s still coming to terms with that experience, she comes off as a mature, reasoned person who thinks deeply about lived experience. No one reading your essay is going to expect you to have fully processed every difficult experience you’ve ever had in your life. That would be outrageous. What they will appreciate seeing, though, is that you’ve reflected deeply on lived experiences. Sometimes reflection yields answers. Sometimes it just yields more questions. Either is okay—just don’t feel like you need to have everything figured out to write about it (or that you need to pretend like you do).

Want help on your college essays?

The CEG mission is to bring more ease, purpose, and joy to the college application process via our library of free resources (much like this blog post).

CEG also offers one-on-one essay help to students who need a little extra support. Learn more about our comprehensive one-on-one essay coaching right here . And we’re proud to be a one-for-one company, which means that for every student who pays, we provide free support to a low-income student. If you identify as low-income, click here .

Want more OUTSTANDING essay examples?

26 College Essay Examples That Worked 10+ Outstanding Common Application Essay Examples 14 Scholarship Essay Examples 17 UC Essay Examples (AKA Personal Insight Questions)

• Book a Coaching Appointment
• Create a Resume, Cover Letter, or CV
• Choose a Career Field
• Search for a Job/Internship
• Build a Professional Brand
• Pursue Funding Opportunities
• Negotiate an Offer
• Network with Professionals/Find a Mentor
• Prepare for an Interview
• Prepare for Graduate School
• Collaborate with CPD
• Earn Academic Credit for an Internship
• Undergraduate Students
• Graduate Students
• Faculty and Staff
• Parents and Families
• Transfer Students
• Prospective Students
• Affinity and Identity Resources
• Accounting, Business Management, Consulting, and Finance
• Entrepreneurship and Innovation
• Entertainment, TV and Film
• Engineering
• Fine Arts and Performing Arts
• Marketing, Communications, PR and Media
• Education, Counseling, and Human Services
• Health Professions and Research
• Energy, Environment, and Sustainability
• Computer Science, Data, Gaming, and Technology
• Non-Profit and Social Impact
• Legal Professions, Government, and Public Policy
• Career Fairs and CPD Career Weeks
• Career Treks
• Casual Career Conversations
• Meet the Team

Personal Statement Writing – Start with a Sample

• Share This: Share Personal Statement Writing – Start with a Sample on Facebook Share Personal Statement Writing – Start with a Sample on LinkedIn Share Personal Statement Writing – Start with a Sample on X

Personal Statement Writing – Start with a Sample was originally published on College Recruiter .

Many grad programs at various universities and specialty schools will require you to write a personal statement in order for you to apply to the school and if you are not sure what to write then you need to know where to look so that you can figure it out. Because your personal statement will weigh heavily on whether or not you get accepted into the school of your dreams, you want to make sure that you write a personal statement that really wows those who will read it. A great exercise to conduct before you begin to put together your personal statement is to start with a sample. This way you can see exactly what goes on a personal statement and you can also check out how the tone of the writer is and what they actually are emphasizing. The first place that you should look for sample personal statements is on the website of the school in which you are attempting to get into. If you can find samples of the personal statements of others who have already been accepted into the school then you can really begin to dig deep and find out what will be expected of you. Depending on the school in which you are trying to gain entry to, finding these samples can be easy or darn near impossible. When the latter happens you can always turn to the internet for help. Just as with anything else these days, the internet has an unbelievable amount of websites with samples of various types of personal statements. You can begin by conducting a Google, Yahoo, or Bing search on ‘personal statement samples’ and then begin to look at the different results that come up. When you are sifting through the vast amount of sample you will have access to, be sure that you are looking for samples that will pertain to you and your personal situation. Once you find sample personal statements that you think have helpful information you can print them out and highlight any areas that you feel may help you when you set out to write your own personal statement. It is also a good idea to take notes as you go along. Once you have a good amount of information and several personal statement samples to reference you can then sit down and begin to put down your thoughts for your personal statement. Don’t try to write your personal statement after only viewing one sample as this may inadvertently lead you to create a carbon copy of what you are looking at. By writing down your thoughts first you will be able to ensure that you are getting a good mix of ideas and inspirations from the various personal statement samples you like. Remember, your personal statement is ‘personal’ in nature so it is in your best interest to be sure that all the information you provide is in fact your information. By starting with one sample and taking some ideas, then moving on to another and taking additional ideas, and so on, you allow your true self to come out in the finished product and this will give you the best shot at gaining access to the school of your choice.

Graduate School

Personal Statement

Applicants will be required to upload a personal statement with the admission application in the space provided. Prior to submitting, please review file upload requirements .

Requirements

Princeton is strongly committed to welcoming students with diverse experiences. Describe a personal experience that influenced your decision to pursue graduate study. Explain how the lessons from this experience would enrich Princeton’s residential scholarly community.

The essay must be written in English and should not exceed 250 words. No specific formatting is required.

Review your final statement before uploading and submitting the admission application. If you submitted an application and need to revise your essay, you may upload the corrected version through the checklist before the deadline. After the deadline, no revised essays will be accepted.

Welcome to GPFans

CHOOSE YOUR COUNTRY

• Leaderboard

F1 Standings

• Race Calendar

Are you a F1 Fan? Follow GP Fans

• Privacy and Terms

Red Bull stars crash out in BIZARRE Baku incident

Two Red Bull drivers suffered a disastrous afternoon in Baku, as they bizarrely crashed out of qualifying.

Formula 1 heads to Azerbaijan this weekend for round 17 of the 2024 F1 season, with two hotly-contested championship battles nearing a conclusion.

F1 HEADLINES: FIA announce penalty verdict as McLaren team orders disregarded

F1 QUALIFYING RESULTS: Verstappen humbled by TEAM-MATE as championship rival stunned

Max Verstappen currently holds a 62-point lead over nearest challenger Lando Norris in the drivers' standings , while Red Bull, McLaren and Ferrari are all battling it out for the constructors' title.

F1 was not the only series racing in Azerbaijan, however, with another hotly-contested title battle occurring in F2.

READ MORE: Ferrari star's crash prompts FIFTH red flag at chaotic Azerbaijan GP

F2's Baku battle

The 12th round of 14 in the series, Azerbaijan saw a continuation of a thrilling title battle between two talented young drivers.

Red Bull junior driver Isack Hadjar currently leads the championship by 10.5 points to McLaren junior driver Gabriel Bortoleto, with both drivers linked with different seats on the F1 grid for next season .

Hadjar races for Campos Racing, who are currently second in the teams' championship, and are also chasing that title.

However, disaster struck for Hadjar and his team when the 19-year-old locked up heading into Turn 1, slamming into the barriers and ending his qualifying session on Friday, bringing out a red flag that delayed the F2 session.

In a rather bizarre turn of events, fellow Red Bull junior and Campos team-mate Pepe Marti made exactly the same error seconds later , before Hadjar had even managed to get out of the car, ending the team's involvement in the Azerbaijan qualifying session.

Hadjar will start Sunday's feature race from 20th, while Marti will be down in 21st.

READ MORE: FIA investigate Red Bull star following Baku battle

Horner delivers U-Turn response after Red Bull 'panic' claims

• Yesterday 18:54

Red Bull driver signs for NEW team ahead of Azerbaijan Grand Prix

• September 12, 2024 19:41

Change your timezone:

Latest news.

FIA investigate Red Bull star incident as star drivers crash out - GPFans F1 Recap

F1 star makes EMBARRASSING musical admission

Alonso reveals Newey TEXT MESSAGES before Red Bull switch

Time ‘runs out' for RB as Ricciardo faced with career reality

• 2 hours ago

Verstappen open to SHOCK switch as champion reveals Newey respect

FIA DISQUALIFY F1 star at Azerbaijan GP

• 3 hours ago

F1 Race Calendar 2024

• F1 News 24/7

Related news

Red Bull sign NEW driver after 'shoot-out' test

Red Bull driver dealt major blow with team set to 'terminate' contract THIS YEAR

• Constructors

Driver Standings 2024

Constructor Standings 2024

• Charles Leclerc
• Carlos Sainz
• Lando Norris
• Oscar Piastri
• Pierre Gasly
• Esteban Ocon
• Sergio Pérez
• Max Verstappen
• Alexander Albon
• Franco Alejandro Colapinto
• Logan Sargeant
• Lewis Hamilton
• George Russell
• Oliver Bearman
• Nico Hülkenberg
• Kevin Magnussen
• Fernando Alonso
• Lance Stroll
• Valtteri Bottas
• Zhou Guanyu
• Daniel Ricciardo
• Yuki Tsunoda
• Aston Martin
• Haas F1 Team
• Red Bull Racing
• Stake F1 Team
• Visa Cash App RB

About GPFans

Follow us on your favorite social media channel.

• /formula1fanpage
• @gpfansglobal
• /GPFansGlobal

Corporate & Media

Realtimes | Publishing Network

• FootballTransfers.com
• FootballCritic.com
• FCUpdate.nl
• MovieMeter.nl
• MusicMeter.nl
• WijWedden.net
• Kelderklasse
• Anfieldwatch
• MeeMetOranje.nl

NEW! Find where to watch all of your favorite sports!

NFL investigating latest lawsuit against Deshaun Watson

Dan Graziano reports on how the NFL and the Cleveland Browns could react to the latest allegations against QB Deshaun Watson. (1:15)

The NFL says it is reviewing a civil lawsuit filed Monday accusing Deshaun Watson of sexual assault and battery in October 2020 when he was a member of the Houston Texans .

"We are reviewing the complaint, and we will look into the matter under the personal conduct policy. Not looking at commissioner's exempt list as there's been no formal charges and the league's review has just begun," league spokesperson Brian McCarthy said.

According to the lawsuit, which was filed in Harris County, Texas, the alleged actions occurred before Watson and a woman, who goes by the pseudonym "Jane Doe" in the court filing, were set to have dinner at the woman's apartment.

The lawsuit states that Watson met the woman, a single mother, at a Houston restaurant and bar, managed to get her phone number and initially attempted to have her meet him at the Houston Galleria for a date. Reluctant to meet Watson in public, the woman instead agreed to a dinner date at her apartment, according to the lawsuit.

On the evening of the date, according to the lawsuit, she said Watson had trouble finding her apartment and began aggressively yelling and screaming at her on the phone, saying he didn't "have time for this."

The lawsuit alleges that, while applying makeup in her bathroom, the woman then found Watson "completely naked on her bed, lying face down on his stomach." Watson then requested that the woman massage his buttocks and the woman "tried to appease Watson by rubbing his back, rather than his buttocks," according to the lawsuit.

Watson then turned over and "continued to demand that Jane Doe massage him, gesturing from his knees to his groin," according to the lawsuit. The woman told Watson that she was not a masseuse, to which Watson asked her what she wanted to do instead, the suit alleges.

Before the woman could answer, Watson "partially disrobed Jane Doe and penetrated her vagina without consent, implicit or explicit," according to the lawsuit, which also alleges that Watson sexually assaulted the woman for several minutes before she escaped and grabbed a heavy piece of decor for self-defense. Watson then "stormed out of Jane Doe's apartment," according to the lawsuit.

In a statement to ESPN, a Browns spokesperson said, "We will respect the due process our legal system affords regarding the recently filed civil suit and follow the NFL's guidelines on this matter."

Watson, 28, served an 11-game suspension in 2022 after more than two dozen women accused him of sexual assault and inappropriate conduct during massage sessions. A pair of Texas grand juries declined to pursue criminal charges against Watson, but he served his suspension after the NFL and the NFL Players Association reached a settlement in his disciplinary matter.

Watson also had to pay a fine of $5 million and undergo mandatory evaluation by behavioral experts and follow their suggested treatment program before being reinstated by the league.

Watson settled 23 of the 24 civil lawsuits filed against him in the summer of 2022.

The lawsuit filed Monday is unrelated to the lone suit remaining from the women who accused Watson of sexual misconduct during massage sessions. However, the same attorney, Tony Buzbee, is representing the latest woman to sue Watson.

In March 2022, the Browns traded six draft picks, including three first-round picks, for Watson and gave him a fully guaranteed $230 million deal, which was an NFL record at the time.

The suspension and injuries have limited Watson to just 13 starts with Cleveland, which includes a 33-17 loss to the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday -- his first game since undergoing season-ending shoulder surgery last November. Watson completed 24 of 45 passes for 169 yards, 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions in the loss.

ESPN's John Barr contributed to this report.

Money blog: Here's how money can actually buy you happiness - according to psychologists

The Money blog is your place for personal finance and consumer news. Our feature this weekend seeks answers to the age-old question: can money buy you happiness? Tell us your happiness hacks in the box below - and we'll be back with live updates on Monday.

Saturday 14 September 2024 08:51, UK

Essential reads

• Here's how money really can buy you happiness
• Everything you need to know about new Renters' Rights Bill
• Paul Kelso: Chancellor signals first budget will be painful
• Pints, pies and season tickets - all Premier League prices compared
• 'Set-jetting' is the latest travel trend - have you joined in?

Tips and advice

• Data roaming charges compared by network
• Free school meals guide
• How much should you spend on wedding gift? 'Annoyed' Britons give verdict
• Savings market acting unpredictably - here's how you can benefit

Ask a question or make a comment

By Brad Young , from the Money team

Can money buy happiness?

When most people think about this question their minds turn to lottery winners. Does all that money really make them happy, they wonder with at least as much envy as curiosity.

But what about the rest of us? The average UK salary is £36,000 a year - so we set out to discover whether normal Britons, the ones who can't purchase yachts and flashy Italian cars, are truly able to make themselves happy with the swipe of a plastic card, and if so, what's the best way to go about it.

It turns out that the types of things you buy, how you purchase them and who you buy them for can be the difference between fleeting joy, lasting happiness and even an insight into what it means to be a human being…

Experiences v material goods

One of the most popular pieces of advice is to spend money on experiences rather than material goods, but this is not just for the reasons you might think, according to Kristen Duke, a social scientist at the University of Toronto.

Going to gigs or on holiday is more memorable and more social than the short-term high gained from buying clothes or gadgets, creating longer-lasting happiness, she said.

But the period before an experience also gives you access to a form of happiness thought to be unique to humans: anticipated joy.

"You're getting essentially a taste of how you will feel at that experience," Ms Duke says

"So if I'm anticipating going on vacation to Hawaii, then I can imagine the sun shining on me and imagine the peace I'll get from having the waves wash over me, and I get a little dose of that happiness," said Ms Duke. 

She said the ability to simulate how we might feel in different situations is "something some people have argued makes people different from animals".

Hybrid purchases

The problem, according to Ms Duke, is that what makes experiences "so special and interesting and meaningful and social also means that they are inherently ephemeral and fading and we lose them".

Hybrid purchases like musical instruments, video games or souvenirs add a material dimension to an experience that allows them to live on, she said.

"The combination of both - being very material and being very experiential - can tend to yield the highest happiness."

Minimalism 

Saving more money for days out for experiences like family trips is part of the reason why author Joshua Becker became a minimalist.

For 16 years he has practised minimalism and written multiple books on the subject, which he defines as removing things from his life that distract him from doing what he values most.

"I own fewer possessions so that I can free up time and money and energy for the things that actually matter and bring real happiness," said Mr Becker, whose lifestyle is followed by hundreds of thousands of people on YouTube and Instagram. 

"The happiness that we get from possessions is always short and temporal."

Mr Becker has downsized his home by a third, spends little on storage, keeps no more than 33 articles of clothing and owns no homeware extras like spare towels, bedsheets and tupperware.  

"I could have a house full of clutter or I could make these amazing memories with my family that they'll remember for the rest of their lives."

He added: "I look back on those last 16 years and I don't regret a thing. I love the memories we've had."

Social spending 

Mr Becker has also found happiness in donating to his church or investing it in his non-profit, The Hope Effect, which supports foster-style care in countries without a fostering system.

His positive emotional response will be familiar to Lara Aknin, professor of social psychology at Simon Fraser University, Canada.

Her research found that spending money on others instead of yourself can boost wellbeing.

Choosing to be generous gives people a sense of autonomy, social connection and positive impact.

This is especially true when paying for a shared dinner instead of a gift voucher, or collaborating to raise money for charity rather than making a solitary donation.

"Humans are very social creatures and these gifts that we give to other people allow us to build, strengthen and maintain relationships that are important to us," said Prof Aknin. 

"We see these emotional benefits with as little as $2.50 (£2), it's not necessarily about big, grand gestures."

Choice overload  

You might assume having a world of options at our fingertips would make it more likely you're happy with a product - but that's not exactly right.

The number of choices you face can become so large that it can cause buyer's regret, said Ms Duke.

This is because people are more likely to imagine that an alternative they didn't purchase could have been better. 

Ms Duke said consumers should use online tools to reduce their choices - and remember that just because information about small differences is available, that doesn't mean they will affect your experience of the product.

Addiction 

For a few, the process of choosing and buying products can become compulsive, as Nuno Albuquerque, an addictions counsellor with 20 years of experience in the field, knows well. 

The same fleeting "high" obtained from buying a product can become an obsession for some, often as a result of underlying mental health issues like low self-esteem, depression or trauma, he said.

"We know that buying such items or spending money can have an effect on the brain, on the dopamine levels," said Mr Albuquerque. 

"It's like using a drug, and people start to rely on that and the obsession starts to kick in."

He said shopping around can activate dopamine production as much as the purchase itself, much like the pursuit of success in gambling.

People can spend hours shopping online, sometimes forgoing food or sleep, or causing financial or relationship breakdown, he said.

The crash that comes after the product arrives can cause shame, guilt or self-loathing, Mr Albuquerque explained.

"It is about trying to feel better. It's like the slogan: Happiness is an inside job."

By Jimmy Rice , Money blog editor

The most notable news in Money this week was Labour's cut to the winter fuel allowance being voted through by MPs, albeit with 52 Labour MPs abstaining.

The payment of up to £300 had been universal to those aged 66 and over, with 11.4 million in receipt last winter.

Now only those on certain means-tested benefits will get it - some 1.5 million.

It is estimate the change will save the Treasury £1.5bn a year - but it's not clear what price the government has paid in good will.

Political editor Beth Rigby described "disquiet" on the Labour benches and summarised it as "the first big challenge to Keir Starmer's authority".

If you're confused about who is now eligible for the winter fuel payment, we explain all here...

In related news, it is now likely there will be a 4% uplift in the state pension in April - equating to approximately £8.85 extra a week or £460 a year. 

The triple lock commits the government to increasing pensions every April by whichever is highest - inflation (the figure for September, published in October), average wage growth between May and July (4%, as published on Tuesday) or 2.5%.

Another significant moment in the Commons this week came on Thursday, when the Renters' Reform Bill returned, five years and four prime ministers after it was first promised.

This time it's Labour's version - with the new government vowing to improve and complete the set of proposals to strengthen renters' rights that the Tories pledged, then watered down and then abandoned altogether before the election.

The Renters' Rights Bill aims to "decisively level the playing field between landlords and tenants", according to housing minister Matthew Pennycook.

Crucially, it includes a blanket ban on no-fault evictions under Section 21 (S21) of the 1988 Housing Act, which allows landlords to evict tenants with two months' notice without providing a reason.

Housing campaigners say they are a major contributing factor to rising homelessness.

Our politics team run through all other areas the legislation will cover - from pets to rent increases - in this explainer: 

We've heard repeated warnings from Sir Keir Starmer and his top team that the country's finances are in a dire state and Rachel Reeves's first budget as chancellor next month will be "painful".

Our business correspondent Paul Kelso  got further insight this week when he sat down with the chancellor after official figures showed the UK economy had unexpectedly flatlined for the second month in a row.

She signalled the budget could be a painful mix of spending cuts, tax rises and increased borrowing, telling Paul: "I've been really honest that there are difficult decisions to come in the budget, on spending, on taxation and welfare, after the mess that the previous government created with the public finances and the state that they are in, that was inevitable.

"I was clear during the election campaign that, if I became chancellor of the exchequer, tough choices lie ahead."

For Paul's full interview with the chancellor, click below:

Here in Money, we published a few explainers that are well worth checking out...

We'll be back with live updates on Monday - but check out our Saturday morning feature on: Can money buy you happiness?

Have a good weekend.

Hundreds of you have shared your thoughts with us this week.

We've gone through our mailbox to find out what got you talking. 

One of the biggest developments of the week came when MPs voted through Labour's cut to the winter fuel allowance. 

Here's what you thought...

What's next? Bus passes and prescriptions? But just keep giving £6bn to foreign aid whilst pensioners freeze to death - shame on Labour. Winter fuel

Savings on winter fuel payments will be eaten away by the extra cost to the NHS of elderly people being admitted to hospital because of the cold weather. Any winter fuel payments should go directly to energy companies. MoJo

Why is this government taking away the winter fuel allowance with one hand and increasing pensions with the other? Shall46

A lot of you had thoughts on a survey that found police officers, social workers and community nurses have some of the most stressful jobs in the UK. 

It's safe to say this one got you talking... 

Didn't see Member of Parliament make the list… Neiljo

Why is farming not on the list? Totally dependent on the unpredictable weather for success or failure, highest suicide rate of any profession! Haybales

Teachers, and all the holidays they get over the year. Give us a break Nigel

The stressful jobs list is a joke! Where are firemen, doctors, scaffolders, traffic wardens? What are national govt admins? But HR managers are on there? The majority sit behind a desk and manage people on a computer. Morgg

Finally, we had lots of questions about cheap flights, including this one...

Flying with Quantas next February how do we get a good seat or complimentary upgrade it's a very special holiday 60th birthday. Registered on frequent flyers and are bronze for registering any help Daisy62

First, a very happy birthday for when it comes, and while we'll have to leave the upgrade side of things with you to chance at the airport gate - you can check out our guide to cheap flights right here... 

Junk food ads will be banned before the 9pm watershed , the health minister has announced.

Andrew Gwynne also said the government would introduce a total ban on paid-for online ads for junk food.

"These restrictions will help protect children from being exposed to advertising of less healthy food and drinks, which evidence shows influences their dietary preferences from a young age," he said.

Both bans will come into effect on 1 October next year.

Some customers are being saddled with "unfair" interest rates for paying monthly , according to Which?.

The consumer group called on the Financial Conduct Authority to act swiftly to prevent people from being "penalised" for being unable to pay for a year of insurance upfront.

Its analysis found annual rates as high as 45% could potentially be charged.

Which? asked 49 car and 48 home insurers how much interest they charged customers to pay for cover monthly, with the annual percentage range (APR) across car insurers being 22.33% and the average across home insurers being 19.83%.

Nearly 20% of female business leaders have been forced to delay or cancel their company plans due to difficulties securing financing , research suggests.

A YouGov survey commissioned by HSBC showed one in 10 women entrepreneurs said securing the financial support they need was their top challenge.

The poll of more than 1,000 female business owners revealed nearly half are planning to expand their businesses in the UK or overseas next year - but many are being held back by not being able to access loans or financing.

Nearly one in five (18%) of female business leaders consider access to funding a barrier to growing their business, while nearly a fifth (19%) had to postpone or cancel their business plans as they have not been able to access the necessary funding.

Anyone who has had to move into a rental property lately will know how challenging finding a new place can be, and we can now put a number on how tough the competition is.

Around 21 people compete for every rental property, according to property website Zoopla.

It said the average rent was £1,245 a month in July - £63 a month higher than a year ago.

Zoopla said a lack of supply remains a major challenge for renters.

Although the number of homes to rent is higher than last year, it remains lower than the pre-coronavirus pandemic average, it said.

One in eight (12.5%) of homes listed for sale on Zoopla in July were previously rented.

The website suggested higher mortgage rates have acted as an additional catalyst for landlord sales over the past two years, on top of longer-term tax and regulatory changes.

Nathan Emerson, chief executive of property professionals' body Propertymark, said: "The rental market has been suffering from a lack of supply against an ever-growing demand for a concerningly long period of time.

"The housing sector continues to see issues escalate year-on-year and the real-world effect is that renters face an increasing challenge to secure a suitable property for their needs."

By Sarah Taaffe-Maguire , business reporter

It may be worth keeping an eye on US markets today amid recent signals that borrowing could become even cheaper in the US.

Officials from the US central bank, known as the Fed, have signalled a larger cut than first priced in may be needed - its decision will be announced next Wednesday.

Market expectations are now showing a 41% chance of the first interest rate cut in more than four years being 0.5 percentage points.

That's brought good news for those heading to the US on holidays or buying things in dollars, one pound is back buying $1.31, an amount that had been the greatest in more than a year.

There's little change for sterling against the euro with a pound equalling $1.1847.

Oil is ending the week slightly up from the multi-year low of $70 seen a few days earlier but still at the comparatively low sum of $72.43 for a barrel of the benchmark oil, Brent crude.

After yesterday's market rally, the benchmark UK stock index (the FTSE 100) was slightly down 0.07% this morning with the more UK-focussed FTSE 250 index up 0.38%.

Everyone has their superstitions - but ones about today's date are having a real impact on the housing market.

Analysis by Rightmove shows that Friday the 13th tends to be quieter for house sale completions than any other Friday - which which is usually the busiest day of the week for home moves.

And the 13th day of the month is typically the quietest day for completions compared to any other day of the month.

Rightmove also found that houses numbered 13 are valued at £5,521 lower than the average of £364,139.

Meanwhile, houses with the "lucky" number seven have an average valuation of £369,770.

Tim Bannister, Rightmove's property expert, said: "Despite the superstitions surrounding the number 13 and Friday the 13th, buyers willing to challenge these traditions could find themselves in a prime position to negotiate better deals.

"Our data shows that significant discounts are often available on properties with this traditionally unlucky number.

"With potential savings of over £5,000 - money that could be put towards stamp duty or other moving expenses - even the most superstitious buyers might be tempted to overlook the number on the door."

Friday the 13th is considered unlucky by some for biblical reasons - Judas, who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th guest at the last supper.

Some tall buildings don't list the 13th floor, instead jumping from 12 to 14, and some airlines don't have a row 13 on their flights.

Every Friday we take an overview of the mortgage market, hearing from industry voices and getting a round-up of the best rates courtesy of the independent experts at  Moneyfactscompare.co.uk .

Halifax, Barclays and TSB were among the big lenders announcing cuts this week - as all eyes turn to next Thursday's base rate decision from the Bank of England.

As of yesterday afternoon, markets were pricing in just a 19% chance of a cut - with the strong expectation that the Bank's Monetary Policy Committee will hold fire until its next meeting at the start of October.

The momentum behind a lowering of interest rates has been helped by uncertainty in the US economy - fears of a recession eased somewhat at the end of last week with improved jobs data, but a struggling economy is likely to persuade the Fed to lower rates at a faster than expected rate.

That is helping to bring down swap rates - which dictate how much it costs lenders to lend.

Peter Stimson, from MPowered Mortgages, told industry news wire Newspage: "Fears of a US recession are proving a real fillip to UK borrowers. 

"The two-year swap, which two-year fixed rate mortgages are priced off, is now at its lowest level for 18 months and is even lower than it was at the start of the year when lenders were cutting across the board. Five-year swaps are also falling."

Finance expert Rachel Springall said: "Fixed rate mortgage reductions have taken precedence so far this week, with a few prominent brands making tweaks.

"Home movers who want to lock into a longer-term fixed mortgage will find the average overall five-year fixed rate is much higher than it was back in September 2019, which was 2.79%. Week on week, the overall average two- and fixed rate fell to 5.50% and 5.17% respectively.

"Borrowers searching for a deal may find it encouraging that the average shelf-life of a mortgage product rose to 21 days, up from 17 days. Our analysis at Moneyfacts also revealed that the average two-year fixed rate is now at its lowest level since February 2024, the five-year is at its lowest level since March 2024."

Moneyfacts has looked at the best rates on offer now...

The comparison site also looks at what it calls "best buys" - which considers not just the rate, but other costs and incentives. These are their top picks this week...

Ipswich Town is the cheapest Premier League team to follow this season, according to a new study - though a surprising team pipped it to the cheapest pint by 50p.

Topping this particular table, Ipswich Town - who were promoted to the league this season - comes out as the cheapest team when prices for food and drink in the stadium, adult tickets and season tickets are taken into account.

Sports company  Flashscore , which published the study, also compared the price of a standard home shirt and average ticket price.

Arsenal was found to be the most expensive team to follow this season.

The Emirates sells the joint most expensive beer, at £6.30 a pint, while Arsenal's cheapest season ticket - at £1,073 - is the most expensive in the league. 

It also sells the most expensive adult ticket at £141.

At £372 Ipswich has the second-most affordable season ticket, with the most expensive adult ticket at £48 also under the league average of £71.25.

West Ham have the cheapest season ticket at £345, but scored more highly on other prices.

The cheapest ticket at £29 is also under the £31.07 average.

Once inside Ipswich's Portman Road Stadium, a pint of beer costs £3.50 - the second cheapest to... Manchester United.

The revelation might surprise fans, with United known as the commercial pioneers of the Premier League, adept at driving profit through sponsorship, merchandise and shirt sales.

The club led the way in terms of monetising football beyond tickets, opening a megastore and hotel at Old Trafford in the 1990s, while also popularising stadium tours.

The Red Devils remain one of the world's five richest clubs, despite posting a loss of more than £110m in their latest financial results this week.

Snapdragon, the US technology firm, will pay the club around £60m per year in a shirt sponsorship deal for its men's and women's teams agreed this summer.

Perhaps this has allowed the club to give a little back to fans with a cheap matchday pint.

This chart compares all Premier League prices, from pies to pints and tickets...

Feeling priced out of going to matches? Pints getting more expensive? Share your stories with us in the box at the top of the page.  

A three Michelin-starred meal will soon be available for delivery for £80. 

Uber Eats has teamed up with one of the most celebrated British chefs, Simon Rogan, to offer customers dishes from his restaurant L'Enclume.

The menu has been created using ingredients grown on Rogan's farm in the Lake District, and aims to be the most sustainable in the UK. 

It consists of five courses, with snacks consisting of a Park House pudding glazed in birch sap, a chicken offal doughnut, and Diana radishes with lovage emulsion, followed by a salad with 51 ingredients. 

The centrepiece of the meal is a heritage breed beef short rib from Lake District farmers served with fermented cabbage, chanterelles and an indulgent beef sauce featuring ramson stems, pickled tapioca and ramson oil. 

The menu will conclude with petit fours (little bite-sized desserts). 

It will be available to London-based customers on 18 and 19 September between 5pm and 10pm, priced at £80. 

Pairing wines will also be available for £30. The first night will be available to Uber One users only, and the second night will be available to all customers. 

It will be delivered in biodegradable packaging and transported using electric vehicles. 

"My cooking philosophy has always been influenced by the natural environment, while sustainability is at the forefront of everything we do. Uber Eats have truly gone above and beyond to match this ethos with this project," Rogan said.

Be the first to get Breaking News

Install the Sky News app for free