personal statement example for 6th form

Studying in the UK

21 July 2021

How to Write a Personal Statement for Sixth Form

Need some tips on how to write a personal statement for sixth form? Read our guide for helpful advice on what to include in yours - and how to submit your most successful application possible.

by Katie Broadbent · 13 min read

Starting to think about where you want to study for sixth form? Perhaps you’ve already narrowed down your selection and are looking for further guidance on how to write a personal statement for sixth form. 

As part of your application for a sixth form place at a college or boarding school, you may be asked to submit a personal statement. The purpose of this is for the school to understand your motivations, interests and future ambitions, but it’s also an opportunity for you to demonstrate your successes and strongest attributes - highlighting to the college why they should offer you a place.  

Personal statements can be quite a daunting task at first, especially if you’ve never had to write about yourself before. But they don’t have to be. To help you get started with writing yours, read our guidance on writing a personal statement for sixth form - and make sure you submit the best application possible.

What is a personal statement?

Essentially, your personal statement is written information about you, your experiences and future aspirations. It summarises your skills, experiences and attributes that are relevant to the subjects and sixth form are applying to - illustrating to prospective admissions officers why you are a perfect fit for their college. 

Most importantly, your personal statement should be professional and always written in your own words. This is your first chance to introduce yourself to the sixth form you want to study at, who only have a very short snippet of writing to make their initial assessments. 

Admissions staff are curious, they want to know who you are and why you want to study the subjects and courses that they are offering. You want to always link back to why your personal attributes and achievements make you the ideal student for them, and what you can contribute in terms of academic ability, confidence and interests. 

How to start a personal statement for sixth form

Often, the most difficult part of writing your personal statement for sixth form is knowing how and where to start. How do you begin introducing yourself in a way that isn’t too generic or overly confident? 

If we’re being totally honest, there isn’t a right or wrong way to start a personal statement. As long as it’s effective at capturing the attention of the admissions officer reading through your application, it’ll do perfectly.

Some students like to begin by introducing themselves, where they study, and their ambitions for the future; some like to introduce themselves by talking about what personal qualities they have; while others like to start with a quote that has inspired them throughout their education. 

The way you choose to introduce yourself to the reader will ultimately fall down on you as an individual - the way you write, the way you like to interact with others, and how you want to set the tone for the remainder of your personal statement. It’s best to just try writing a selection of sentences that introduce you in different ways, and then choose the one you think best reflects you and your personality. 

And if you’re really stuck on how to start your personal statement, we recommend writing the main body of text to help you get into the headspace of writing in this way. Once you’ve finished talking about yourself, your achievements, interests and goals, you’ll have set the overarching tone for your personal statement, making it easier to return to the start and have another go at writing your introduction. 

How to write a personal statement: 5 essential elements to include

Personal statements offer a great opportunity to talk about your various achievements and aspirations. They are an open platform with which you can talk about all the reasons as to why you’re an ideal fit for that particular sixth form.

With that being said, there are still certain things that you should remember to include. Let’s dive into these in a little more detail.

1. Why do you want to attend that specific college or sixth form?

One of the big questions that admissions officers will have about your application revolves around why you want to attend their specific college or sixth form. Therefore, it’s important you dedicate at least part of your statement to talking about your reasons for wanting to study there.

Before submitting your application for sixth form, it’s highly likely that you have already conducted lots of research about the college, including the A-Level subjects it offers, the facilities it has, as well as its previous performance reports. 

Use this research as an opportunity to talk about all the things at the sixth form which captured your interest and made you want to study there. For example, if the college you are applying to is recognised for its science facilities, perhaps you could write something about how you believe their excellent science faculty - with all its resources and specialist equipment - will help you to excel in the future.

Of course, there are many aspects of a sixth form which you can include as part or all of your reason for studying there, including the following:

The schools’ ethos 

Facilities and equipment

Its academic specialism (if applicable) 

The teaching staff

The subjects it offers

Careers and university guidance support

The extracurricular activities on offer

2. What are your future aspirations?

Secondly, another key thing to talk about within your personal statement for sixth form is to talk about your goals for the future.

Sixth form colleges are passionate about making sure students are able to achieve their full potential, and they’ll want to understand your aspirations so they know whether they can offer you the support to make that happen. 

When writing your personal statement, remember to leave plenty of room to discuss what your plans for the future are, and why that sixth form can help you get there. Explain how the subjects you’ve applied for, as well as the college’s facilities, staff and students can help you achieve your goal.

Even if you’re not sure what you may want to pursue beyond sixth form, you should still talk about all the opportunities the sixth form could offer you. For example, does the college have a variety of extracurricular clubs and activities available, where you can build a portfolio of skills and experience? Or do they have a reputable careers and guidance service that can help you to narrow down your options?

3. What relevant experience do you have to support your future goals?

Your personal statement is an opportunity to really build a positive image of yourself, highlighting why you are the most dedicated, passionate student that the college could wish for. 

Therefore, when writing about your aspirations for the future, it’s important to try and include any relevant experience that proves your commitment to your chosen subjects and, (if decided on) career path. 

Here, try to illustrate how these experiences have given you new skills or made you think about your future plans. For example, has babysitting made you consider a career working with children as a teacher or child psychologist? Or has your paper round taught you how to manage time effectively, ensuring that you always get the job complete on time?

There really is no limit to the type of experience you can include in your personal statement. In fact, the more relevant experience you can add, the better it will be at helping to prove your commitment to pursuing a particular career path or subject in the future.

Just remember to only include relevant experience and link it back to your reasons for choosing the subjects and college you’re applying for. Personal statements usually have strict word or character limits, so you don’t want to waste words talking about experiences that won’t help to illustrate your dedication to a particular subject field.  

4. What are your personal qualities?

Another important aspect of your personal statement for sixth form needs to include some detail around your personal qualities and attributes, and how they can help you excel during your time at the sixth form college you’re applying to?

Now, this doesn’t mean you should simply write down every single good quality about yourself. Instead, it’s about selecting a few but well-descript qualities that you presume to be your best, as backed by solid evidence or experience. 

There’s no limit to what type of qualities you may want to include in your list. But a good place to start could be thinking about what type of qualities you think would shine well at the sixth form college you are applying to. 

Would you consider yourself to be a hard worker? Polite? Reliable? Well-organised with your time and tasks? You can even read through the sixth form college’s syllabus to see what type of  words they use to describe their students and ethos and then incorporate the ones you have into your personal statement. 

Remember to always back up your claims with specific examples. E.g., is it common for your teachers at school to call you a polite or hardworking student? Can your school mates depend on you during project work to complete your tasks ahead of deadlines? The more concrete evidence you have to support your points, the better - it gives more validity to everything you’re saying about yourself.

5. What extracurricular activities do you enjoy in your spare time?

Finally, another important element of your personal statement for sixth form is to talk about what you enjoy doing in your spare time, including any  hobbies or clubs you participate in. 

Sixth form colleges will be using your personal statement to gain insights about you as an individual - not just as a student at their college. Therefore, you should try and provide some details about what you do outside of school so they can gain a better understanding of you as a young person. 

What are some hobbies or activities you enjoy doing in your spare time and why? How often do you do it? After doing these activities, have you gone on to develop any skills? Are any of these skills transferable to the subjects you hope to study or your plans for the future?

It’s also important to include any that have gone on to earn you any certificates, medals or awards. For example, include any musical gradings you have obtained, any sports team awards you have won, or any extracurricular awards you have obtained, such as the Duke of Edinburgh award. 

The more information you can include to demonstrate your hard work, commitment and effort - the better. Sixth form colleges will be curious to learn more about your personality and see whether it fits nicely with their ethos and current student body. 

Lastly, some do’s and don’ts when writing your personal statement for sixth form

Although we’ve covered the five essential elements of a personal statement, it’s important to be aware of some additional do’s and don’ts when writing your personal statement - to make it the very best it can be. 

Write formally, using your best English: Be meticulous with your spelling and grammar checks to ensure there are no inaccuracies. Any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors may indicate that you’ve not taken the time to carefully proofread your work, which doesn’t present the best initial impression.

Show your enthusiasm: Include as much detail as possible about your dreams for the future and how the sixth form can help you achieve those dreams. The college will want to see that you are enthusiastic about studying with them, and will also look favourably on students who are passionate about learning, excelling themselves, and reaching their future goals.

Ask your friends and family to read your personal statement: It can be really beneficial to ask your friends, family, teachers and/or carers to read through drafts of your personal statement. Coming at it with a completely fresh view, they’ll be able to identify areas for improvement, highlight anything you may have missed, and ensure your spelling and grammar is perfect.

Leave it until the last minute: It’s a good idea to give yourself plenty of time to plan out exactly what you want to write in your personal statement, have time to draft a couple of versions, give it to others for feedback, and have room for final spelling and grammar checks. Don’t put off writing your personal statement until it’s too late for you to be able to produce your best version.

Exaggerate any details: If you are invited to interview at the sixth form college, you may be asked to talk about what you have written in your personal statement. Here, anything you’ve exaggerated will become obvious, and the admissions team won’t look favourably on those who have twisted the truth to advance their application.  

Let your nerves get the better of you: Writing a personal statement for sixth form can be nerve-wracking, especially when sitting down to write your first draft. Don’t let your worry stop you from applying - most colleges and sixth forms base their decisions on a combination of requirements, including your grades, interview and school references - personal statements make up only a proportion of the decision.

Writing your personal statement for sixth form is an opportunity for you to share information about yourself, your goals and achievements, in the way that you want to be portrayed. 

Colleges and boarding schools want to know all about you - what you want to study and why, what you do alongside your academia, and what matters the most to you - it’s a chance for them to understand what makes you tick and where your passions lie, so they can be sure you’re the ideal student for their institution. 

When writing your personal statement, keep in mind the various points we’ve included in the article above, so you can be sure you’ve covered all aspects of the personal statement which are most important to the sixth form college or boarding school. 

As daunting as it may sound, your personal statement really is a chance to help sell yourself to the school - so use it as a ground with which you can show off everything that’s so great about you. Your application is made up of several other factors, and your personal statement is only one part of that overarching submission.

Just remember, as long as you plan far enough in advance for you to be able to write a few drafts and obtain feedback from friends and family, you can take comfort in the fact that you’ve submitted your best possible statement. Keep calm, draft it out, and most importantly - good luck!   

Add an online learning experience to your personal statement

Looking to add some practical experiences to your personal statement? Want to demonstrate your commitment to your subject or to your passion for learning in general? Discover our collection of online learning programmes to start building a competitive edge over other applicants.

With a range of university-style subjects available, gain clarity over your future pursuits, explore the subjects that you find most interesting, and get ahead for the future.

You can even choose how you want to learn; study one-to-one with an expert tutor through scheduled Tutorials , or learn amongst a small group of students, online, with our 2-week Academic Online Courses .

The power of connection makes for endless opportunities. Study with some of the world’s very best tutors in the world, from the comfort of your own home. Study with Melio .

Submit an application to study with us or book a call with our admissions team for further information. 

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How to Write a Personal Statement for Sixth Form College – Guide for 2024

In A-Level by Think Student Editor January 15, 2021 1 Comment

Writing your personal statement can seem like a daunting task, and here at Think Student, we would like to provide you with some useful tips on how you can write a successful personal statement. We have compiled a list of 15 do’s and don’ts for writing your personal statement for college, to make your life easier. Perhaps you are confused about structure, what information you should include, or how long your personal statement should be. We hope that this article will answer any questions you may have about the techniques you should use when writing your personal statement.

1. Don’t Be Too Clever With Your Introduction

Your introduction is the first impression that you are going to make on the reader of your personal statement. It should describe you, and be as interesting and engaging as possible, but make sure you don’t overcomplicate it!

You have to remember that you are not writing an essay, and don’t need to summarise what you will talk about. It is simply (as the name would suggest) a way of introducing who you are as a person . Try to make this concise so you can discuss your achievements and interests for the majority of your personal statement.

2. Don’t Repeat Sentence Starters Too Much

One of the ways that you can make your writing more interesting is by varying the sentence starters you use throughout your personal statement. There are many different ways that you can do this, but the most important thing that you should remember is that your sentences should not all start with ‘I…’.

You will be aware of some sentence openings from your English lessons, but here are some examples of words you could use to help you out:

• Adverb Openings: Similarly, Slowly, Fortunately….
• Verb Openings: Learning, Working, Being part of…
• Connective Openings: Although, Despite…

There are many examples of words that you may like to use to start your sentences, and this is simply a small limited set of examples. However, you should also be aware of the sentence openings which are most commonly used, so that you can try to stay away from them to make your personal statement stand out! Some examples of these can be found here .

3. Do Use Vocabulary That You Understand

One of the common mistakes that people make when writing their personal statements is using complex vocabulary in the wrong context, which can make their writing weaker and reduce the quality of their personal statement overall.

Instead, you should be using the vocabulary that you understand. Your personal statement should be a reflection of your understanding. If you can include some complex vocabulary – great, if not however, you shouldn’t worry.

As long as you personal statement is coherent, and gets across the messages that you want it to (like your achievements and reasons for applying for a particular course), it is better that it makes sense than to try to overcomplicate things by using strange vocabulary!

4. Do Talk About Your Extra-Curricular Activities

Your extracurricular activities showcase who you are outside of your school life. You may play an instrument or a sport, or enjoy something like creative writing in your free time. Whatever the hobby or extra-curricular activity you do, it is certainly worth mentioning.

Talking about your extra-curricular activities shows how you spend your time to further your skills, outside of academia. This is important for enabling your potential sixth form to see how many skills you have. It is even better if you can link the skills you have developed to the subjects that you are interested in studying at sixth form!

5. Don’t Just Talk About Your Extra-Curricular Activities

Although the extra-curricular activities that you do should be mentioned in your writing, it is important that they don’t take over your personal statement. They are important, but your personal statement is not intended to be a way to only showcase these!

You need to make up the majority of your personal statement with other aspects – namely your academic achievement, and how and why you are interested in the subjects that you would like to study at sixth form college.

You should make sure that your personal statement has a good balance of information about achievements within school, outside of school, and reasons for your interest in the subjects that you want to take.

6. Do Make it Specific to You

Your sixth form college will receive many applications from prospective students, and you want to make yours stand out. The information that you choose to include needs to be relevant, and most importantly, specific to you.

Obviously, you will have to include similar types of information to everyone else, but it is absolutely essential that you do not copy any part of your personal statement from online sources, or even your friends.

In order to make your personal statement specific to you, you should consider the things that make you stand out from other candidates. These could be skills that you have developed that are relevant to your course, or (as I said before) extracurricular activities.

Avoiding things like common sentence starters (as mentioned in point 2), will also make your writing style more unique, and specific to you.

7. Don’t Include Cliché Analogies

I won’t go into this one too much at all. We all know what kind of sentences fit into this category. If you are stuck, here’s two to avoid:

• “Since the very first day I was born, I wanted to become…”
• “From a young age, I’ve always dreamt of becoming a…”

8. Don’t Lie About What You Have Achieved

Lying about achievements is a bad idea all the time, but this is especially true when writing a personal statement. Your chances of being found out are incredibly high, and it serves you no purpose in the long run.

You should be proud of your actual achievements, and be able to promote yourself without lying. In fact, a personal statement is intended to be something that showcases who you are as a person, and so lying presents you as a liar – which is not a label that you should want.

However tempting it is to add a couple of extra achievements to your list, it is not worth it, and will not benefit you at all. Starting at sixth form college is an opportunity to start a new chapter in your life – meeting new people and studying new subjects – and you don’t want to start out by lying.

9. Do Show Genuine Interest Towards Your Chosen Subjects

The subjects that you choose at A-Level should be the subjects that you find the most interesting and want to pursue in the future . Because of this, you shouldn’t find it difficult to communicate your interest in your subjects to your sixth form.

If you’re not sure where to start, you could talk about:

• Why you have chosen the subjects
• How they relate to your GCSE subjects
• What you would like to do with the subjects that you have chosen in the future (more about this in point 15!)
• What things you do outside of school that relate to the subjects that you have chosen (if there aren’t any, don’t worry – these are just an extra!)

Your interest in your subjects should come across all the way through your personal statement, because of your writing style and general tone , though this can sometimes be hard to achieve, which is one of the reasons that you should leave plenty of time for writing and editing your personal statement!

10. Don’t Come Across as Arrogant

Although you want to showcase your achievements in the most positive way possible, you should make sure that you don’t come across as arrogant – try not to sound like a know it all! You are moving on to your next stage of learning, and you want it to come across that you are willing to put in the effort to learn the things that you don’t know!

As with showing your interest in you subjects, this is more of a tone thing than anything else, so make sure you leave plenty of time for amendments. You can do this using feedback from teachers, parents or even friends, but make sure that you check that you have come across positively.

11. Do Keep an Eye on Your Word Count

Your personal statement needs to be a general overview of your interests, skills and experience. This may seem like a lot to cover but luckily, you don’t need to go into too much detail.

Your colleges will be receiving a lot of personal statements in a short amount of time so you need to make sure that your personal statement includes all of the relevant information, without making it too wordy.

You should try and limit your writing to roughly one A4 page. By doing this, you can ensure that you only include important details, and whoever ends up reading your personal statement can get all the information they need relatively quickly.

If you are struggling with condensing your writing down to the appropriate amount, try and include things that you can elaborate on in a future interview. If you state your skills and achievements without talking about them individually in great length, you will be able to include a greater variety of things.

12. Don’t Forget About Your Personal Statement’s Structure

Your personal statement requires planning, and so should have a structure which is logical and well thought out. This is not to say that there is only one way to structure your personal statement, but you do need to plan out your personal statement so that it flows in a coherent way.

You could choose to follow your introduction with paragraphs which are categorised into subjects, each one including the reasons for you wanting to study it, any potential extra-curricular activities that you do which are related, and why it would be useful for your future goals.

Alternatively, you could categorise your paragraphs into reasons that you want to study your subjects, your extra-curricular activities, and future goals separately.

Whatever way you would like to structure your personal statement, try to plan it in advance, so that your final personal statement has a good flow and is logically set out.

13. Don’t Forget About Punctuation and Grammar

One of the ways that you can showcase your abilities is by making sure that your personal statement is an example of the best written communication that you are able to produce. One of the important parts of this is the use of correct punctuation and grammar.

This is one of the things that you will be able to perfect in your editing of your personal statement. You may, again, also find the feedback of someone else useful for this – it is often easier to identify someone else’s mistakes than it is to find your own!

You may want to also use online tools to identify mistakes, such as grammarly . The techniques used in your written communication are important, and this is something that (with time) is fairly easy to get right, especially as you have such a long time to write your personal statement.

14. Don’t Rush Your Personal Statement

Making your personal statement something that is specific to you, and well written, is something that will take time and planning. Therefore, you need to make sure that you do not leave writing your personal statement until the last minute! Your school are likely to give you internal deadlines to follow, and it would be useful to make sure that you stick to them, as to ensure that you don’t have to write your personal statement in a state of panic!

It is also important to note that writing a personal statement is something that you will have to do more than once in your lifetime, and so taking advantage of this opportunity to practice writing one well is something that will be useful to you in the future.

You need to make sure that you leave enough time to get feedback from teachers, as well as to edit your writing for clarity and conciseness. Even if you work well under pressure, writing your personal statement is certainly a task that you should be doing in advance of its due date!

15. Do Talk About Your Future Plans After Sixth Form College

Your future plans are something that your sixth form college will be interested in hearing about in your personal statement. They are a way of showing why you are choosing the subjects that you are, as well as demonstrating that you have goals which you are directing your attention towards.

Talking about your future career aspirations is one of the things that can show your sixth form that you are focused on achievement, and have an idea of how you would like to progress. This could give the impression that you will be more hardworking on your college courses.

Keep in mind that your future plans don’t have to be too specific – after all, it is very difficult to know what you would like to do for the rest of your life when you are only 16! If you don’t know what specific career you would like to go into, you may want to simply mention which field you might be interested in going into.

Also remember that providing some information about your current future plans does not commit you to those plans. You can always change your mind about what you would like to do , but it is nice for your college to be able to see that you are planning ahead as best you can when you apply.

Very helpful but frequently 6th Form Admissions ask for the PS to examine why their particular school is the one of choice and just seen one asking me to describe what I will bring to their 6th form

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How to write a Personal Statement for Sixth Form

As part of your application for a sixth form place, you may be required to produce a personal statement. Natallia Patsaluyonak, Director of UK Operations at Gabbitas, shares her top tips on how to write a personal statement for sixth form.

Writing a Sixth Form Personal Statement

The purpose of the personal statement is for the school to see your motivations, interests and writing skills, but it is also an opportunity to show off your talents. You should be aiming for a statement that covers 3 main points: what you love, your plan for the future and why this school.

All of your points must be backed up as much as possible with evidence of your achievements, or by showing that you have researched the matter. You should aim to write at least 500-1000 words.

How to structure your Personal Statement

A good personal statement, like an essay, will contain a basic structure which will help you present yourself in the best light possible. This can be broken down into the following sections:

1. Introduction 2. Your main passion (academic/non-academic) 3. Your chosen subjects for A-Level or IB 4. Other interests 5. Conclusion Of course, there will be overlap between the sections, and the end result may not completely resemble this structure, but it is a good way to help you prepare your first draft.

1. Introduction – who are you?

In your introduction, you should summarise your argument. Briefly describe where you currently study, what your aims and objectives are and why this school is the right choice for you. Remember, this is your core pitch, it should be concise, clear and individual to you.

2. Your passion – what do you love?

Here is where you get to talk about what makes you, you. You should be able to talk about your greatest achievements and plans for the future. Your greatest passion could be an academic subject, sport, hobby or musical instrument, but whatever it is, you need to be able to demonstrate how the school can help you develop this passion and why you love it.

3. Your chosen subjects

Here you need to be able to demonstrate why it is that you have chosen these subjects. You should mention what it is about the subject you love, examples of particular topics that you find interesting, and how studying this at A-level/IB will help you succeed in the future.

You may want to add something specific about how you’ve followed up on your interest in this subject outside of school . Furthermore, you should be able to describe how your other interests have helped you grow into the person you are today.

Also your A-Level/IB choices should reflect what you want to do in the future, if you can draw links between your future, your studies and your interests, this is how you create a lasting impact.

4. Other interests

You should mention here anything else about yourself that you believe will help your application. Talk about your other interests, achievements, books you have read, and your background. If you have recently read a news article recently that is relevant to your chosen subjects or yourself, say what you thought about it. Don’t be afraid to let your personality come through!

5. Conclusion

Here you should concisely reiterate your main argument of why you want to study at the school and why you are an ideal candidate for the school.

Final top tips

You should always keep in mind these 5 points when writing your personal statement to help keep it relevant, persuasive and interesting:

• Do your research

The school wants to know why you want to go there, think about why they are your number one choice and what makes this school standout for you. You might get more of a feel for the school through a visit.

No need to ramble on or use unnecessary language, you’ll make a bigger impact if you stick to the most important points. If you’re given a word count, make sure you stick to it.

• Think about your future

Make sure you demonstrate how this is an essential stepping stone for your future education or career. They want to see someone who has a clear idea of their future and what will be required to get there.

• Be passionate about your subjects

Have conviction in your subject choices and use examples of how you have previously shown interest or aptitude for them.

• Be yourself

Don’t be afraid to let a bit of your personality out as well.

Writing a personal statement gives you the chance to think about what you have achieved and what you want to do with your future, it will help with any interview preparation as well. Remember this is your chance to sell yourself on paper and Gabbitas consultants are always on hand to help! You can contact us by emailing [email protected] or call +44 203 026 7443.

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How to Write a Sixth Form Personal Statement

The sixth form personal statement is a staple in the application process for academically selective schools. It aims to gauge how well-prepared you are to write anything of that sort in a year’s time when applying for undergraduate programmes. In this sense, it is a dress rehearsal for UCAS personal statement writing and should be treated just as seriously. However, there is nothing to worry about, so long as you have the right approach!

Let’s take a look at how to approach the writing process.

Observe the word limit and guidelines

This will give you an idea of the length of your personal statement, and the sort of thing you should include. Adhering to the word limit and submission deadline will start you off on the right foot, signalling to Admissions officers your attention to detail and sense of professionalism.

Do your research

What make this school stand out for you? Is it the programme, facilities, extra-curricular activities, or the culture perhaps? Make sure to include specific examples about why you have chosen to apply to the school and what makes you a good fit. This will demonstrate that you’ve done your homework and are a serious candidate.

Pay attention to structure

A well-structured personal statement and a sense of direction and ‘flow’ between paragraphs and ideas can turn a good personal statement into a great one. Ensure it has a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion. Top tip: reading your personal statement out loud to yourself will help you better understand where it may be lacking flow and coherency.

Back yourself (and back up your claims!)

Use this opportunity to present yourself in the best light. Avoid exaggerating or lying as you may well be caught out later in your interview. You can set yourself apart from other candidates by showcasing your unique, individual interests, qualities, achievements and background.

Of equal importance is including specific examples to back up your claims. How have you engaged with your chosen subjects outside of class? What have your hobbies taught you? You can use these experiences as a gateway to talk about the skills you have gained and can offer alongside your academic ability.

Be succinct

Whether the word limit is 500 or 5000, maximising what you can say in the fewest words possible will demonstrate your range of vocabulary and ability to express your thoughts concisely.

Look to the future

No one expects you to have your whole career mapped out at this stage, but it can be useful to have some ideas of where you want to get to, and how the school can help you get there. Ask yourself what your motivations are for studying your chosen subjects at a higher level, and try to draw links between your interests, the course you want to pursue, and your goals in life.

Be yourself

Your personal statement should be individual to you and let your personality come through. Is there a specific experience or time in your life that was important to you? Use this context as a way to help the reader understand how you think and what inspires you.

Check your spelling and grammar

Proofreading and fine tuning your personal statement may feel tedious, but accuracy is crucial. Mistakes only cause the reader to trip up and lose sight of your main message. Make use of grammar and spell checkers or ask a family member to cast their eye over it to ensure no mistake slips through unnoticed.

Ask for help

Friends, family, and teachers are excellent sounding boards and can help you brainstorm ideas. However, if you are in need of any extra help, please get in touch! Whatever stage you are at in your academic career, our tutors will give you the tools to write a personal statement that leaves a strong lasting impression and sets you apart from other applicants.

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How To Write A Personal Statement For Sixth Form

WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE GOALS?

At this stage in your education you might not have made a solid decision about your chosen career path. This is completely fine and not uncommon. Your choice to delve into higher education demonstrates that you want to better yourself, gain qualifications and explore your options further with a range of subjects. 

On the flip side, if you have a clear path ahead for your future plans and know what career you’d like to pursue, then it’s important to include this in your personal statement and why your chosen course will help you fulfil this dream. Some forms will ask about your career aspirations or university wishes, so be prepared to think this through thoroughly and put down an honest answer.

THE FINER DETAILS

A personal statement isn’t just a few paragraphs about yourself. It’s also an opportunity to show that you can conduct yourself well in writing. Therefore it’s important that you check the spelling and grammar carefully, as a misplacement of ‘you’re’ or ‘your’ could put off the reader as it shows lack of care and attention. 

Another point is to not stretch the truth. It’s easy nowadays to do an online search of candidates and more often than not, you’ll be asked questions about your specific skill set and history. This not only puts you in an uncomfortable position but also puts you in a bad light if you are caught out. 

Finally, do exactly what the form asks. It sounds simple but answering all the bullet points correctly and filling out the right boxes demonstrates your attention to detail and delivering what they are asking for.

IMPORTANT STEPS BEFORE SUBMITTING

• Just before sending off your personal statement and awaiting sixth form/college offers to come in, there’s a few things to double check before you hit send. if there is a limited word count have you fulfilled this? 
• Also, get your peers, teachers or family to read your personal statement to have a second eye over the content to double check that there are no mistakes. It’s likely that you would have spent much time reading it over and over that you’re oblivious to any parts which might be wrong. They may also suggest a few additions to make. 
• As people who know you well, it’s good to get an outsider's view on your character and may put a different spin on how you can present yourself. Alternatively they may read it and think that some sections are too ‘waffly’ and can help amend it to make it read better. 
• Lastly, don’t leave it to the last minute. A deadline is set for a reason, but that doesn’t mean you have to submit your personal statement on the last day. By sending early, not only is this a weight off your shoulders it also shows that you are good at time management and keen to enrol with your chosen sixth form or college. 

Whilst writing your first personal statement can be tough, it’s also a great experience to officially write down your strengths and educational background - whilst looking ahead to the prospects of an exciting future. This is your opportunity to project your potential and put you on track to success with your sixth form or college education.

TOP TIPS FOR WRITING YOUR SIXTH FORM PERSONAL STATEMENT

• Speak From the Heart: Infuse your personal statement with genuine enthusiasm, highlighting your passions and showcasing why you're an ideal fit for your chosen sixth form or college.
• Quality Over Quantity: Focus on impactful details rather than overwhelming with information. Ensure every word serves a purpose, making your personal statement concise and compelling.
• Show, Don't Just Tell: Demonstrate your skills and accomplishments through vivid examples. Whether it's your dedication to extracurriculars or your work history, let your experiences shine.
• Tailor to Perfection: Personalise your statement for each sixth form or college. Emphasise why their specific courses and offerings align with your aspirations, showcasing meticulous research and genuine interest.
• Embrace Constructive Critique: Don't shy away from feedback. Seek input from others to refine your statement. A fresh perspective can uncover blind spots and elevate the overall impact of your personal statement.

VISIT RENDCOMB COLLEGE

Throughout the academic year, we hold a number of events for those looking to join our day and boarding sixth form. Our Sixth Form Information Evening offers attendees the opportunity to meet our subject teachers, Heads of Department, Houseparents, pastoral team and current Sixth Form students. It is the ideal insight into life at Rendcomb College Sixth Form, and we hope that you will be able to develop a better understanding of the exceptional environment that we have here.

To attend our Sixth Form Information Evening, please contact our Admissions Team on [email protected] or 01285 705 952 , and they will be delighted to put the arrangements in place for you.

If you’d like to find out more about our sixth form, please do not hesitate to get in touch - our team should be delighted to answer your questions. Please drop us an email at [email protected] or give us a call on 01285 708 171 . Alternatively, you can visit us on one of our open days throughout the academic year.

For UK Admissions enquiries, please call the above number or email   [email protected] .

For International Admissions enquiries, please call the above number or email [email protected] .

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Personal Statement Sentence Starters: Expert Advice

Good personal statement openings are crucial when it comes to engaging admissions tutors.

But in the process of writing your personal statement, you might realise that you’re repeating the words you use in your opening sentences and paragraphs.

This lack of variety can lead to a sense of monotony in tone and content, alienating the reader.

But don’t worry!

There are several sentence starters you can use that won’t leave your personal statement sounding stilted or unnatural and that will help your personal statement stand out.

Here’s an expert guide to using effective sentence starters to improve your personal statement…  

Personal statement sentence starters fall into three specific categories. Introductions, comparisons and conclusions are effective ways to start paragraphs. Use connections, additions and relationships when developing content.  Starters relating to the presentation of ideas work well throughout.

From sixth-form personal statement sentence starters to postgraduate applications, you’ll discover specific examples of each of these personal statement sentence starter categories in the sections below…

Introduction, Comparison and Conclusion Starters

Having a practical understanding of personal statement sentence starters in this category is extremely valuable if you want to achieve greater variety and originality in your writing.

Introducing a new point or topic can become repetitive quickly; how many times have you written “I also” or “as a result”?

Avoiding these common phrases can add depth to your statement, but also encourage the reader to view you as an informed and versatile candidate.

As Mary Curnock Cook, a former UCAS Chief Executive states:

“The personal statement is supposed to be personal. Learning to write about yourself in a compelling way is a vital skill when applying for jobs; using hackneyed phrases is not the best way to stand out.” Mary Curnock Cook

Have you ever felt the need to write the kind of overused opening sentences that start with “At a young age..?”

If so, here are some introductory personal statement openings that will add to the compelling quality of your writing, without making it sound as though you’ve plucked words from a dictionary:

If you can make good use of comparative sentence starters , your writing will be increasingly concise, your points will be made with greater precision and you will be more likely to meet the word or character limit.

Here are some effective examples:

What follows are some excellent ways in which to start a concluding sentence or paragraph.

Remember that your aim is not to repeat previous content, but to use the opportunity to lead into the next paragraph or topic:

Connection, Addition and Relationship Starters

Once you’ve begun writing about a specific point or topic, you’ll find you need to connect one idea with another in order to make a concise or compelling point.

This connection can be challenging, as very quickly you might start to use a limited range of vocabulary such as “also” or “along with” or “as well as”.

These are the kinds of words that applicants use frequently, and they can indicate a lack of breadth, vocabulary or research in the mind of an admissions tutor.

Unoriginal vocabulary can also lead to your personal statement being rejected, or even to your entire application being refused, in the case of plagiarism.

According to Carly Minsky at timeshighereducation.com these are some of the most overused phrases featured in UCAS personal statements , so do make sure you don’t repeat them.

Below are some excellent suggestions for connecting or adding phrases, concepts or ideas in your personal statement:

It can be vitally important to effectively illustrate the relationship between an experience or piece of knowledge that you hold and the demands of the course or role that you are applying for.

The focus of the reader needs to be on the content itself , not the words you use to compare or contrast it, and these personal statement sentence starters will help you achieve this, every time:

Now you’re feeling more confident about your vocabulary, you should get to grips with the right structure to use for your personal statement.

My Personal Statement Template eBook gives you 10 original templates to follow when you’re writing a personal statement, meaning you’re guaranteed to find the right structure for your application.

It’s packed full of useful advice and shows you exactly what content to include. You’ll also discover how many words or characters to use for each paragraph for maximum effect!

Perfect for UCAS undergraduate applications, Oxbridge and Medicine , master’s degrees and employment , my eBook also includes exclusive guidance for writing a perfect statement of purpose .

Click on the image below to discover how my eBook can help you write the perfect personal statement…

Sentence Starters for Presenting New Ideas

An important aspect of your personal statement is the presentation of new ideas and concepts that illustrate your understanding of the course topic.

You should also show that you can synthesise aspects of your prior experience and knowledge.

This can be a complex process to write about, so having dynamic and effective vocabulary to work with can be extremely valuable.

The table below gives you a selection of examples of the kinds of sentence starters you could use to introduce a new concept in a personal statement opening sentence:

It’s worth noting that, generally speaking, new ideas and concepts should be contained within a specific paragraph. If you’re looking for advice on how to structure the paragraphs in your personal statement, check out my article here.

You may have noticed that I haven’t included a section in this post devoted to the kinds of sentence starters you shouldn’t use in your personal statement.

That’s because each personal statement is unique, and good sentence openers need to focus on different aspects of your experiences and ambitions. Try not to think about avoiding specific words or phrases and focus more on including content that best represents your ambitions!

If you really want some pointers on what not to include, Amy Davies has a great article on words you should never use in your personal statement over at whatuni.com . 

If you want to focus on writing an amazing opening paragraph, then check out my post that tells you exactly how great first paragraphs are created!

If you’re just starting out, then this is the post for you…

Good luck with your personal statement, and don’t forget to contact me if you’d like some 1-1 support.

You’ve got this! D

Research and content verified by Personal Statement Planet .

David Hallen

I've worked in the Further Education and University Admissions sector for nearly 20 years as a teacher, department head, Head of Sixth Form, UCAS Admissions Advisor, UK Centre Lead and freelance personal statement advisor, editor and writer. And now I'm here for you...

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How long should my personal statement be?

The 'word' limit is 47 lines of text, or 4000 characters. This equates to (roughly) 600 words.

UCAS recommends that you write out your personal statement in a word processor before copying and pasting it into their online application form.

To help you with this, use our personal statement length checker when writing your statement.

When should I start writing my personal statement?

Nobody can write a brilliant personal statement in one draft, so it's important you start early on to make sure your statement is the best it can be.

We recommend you begin jotting down some notes for your initial draft during the summer holidays (July and August) so you have something down before you go back to school/college in the autumn.

How do I write a UCAS personal statement?

To write a great personal statement that will give you the best chance of success, we recommend you:

• Start with why you've chosen your course and what aspect(s) of it interest you most
• Let your passion and enthusiasm shine through
• Don't include over-used phrases such as "From a very young age..." and "I've always wanted to be...".
• Try to be original and give it your own unique voice
• Don't use quotes, humour, jokes or cliches - now is not the time!
• Round off with a summary of what you want to do in the future and how your degree will help you achieve this.

Where can I get more help and support with my personal statement?

At Studential, we also offer a range of UCAS Personal Editing & Review Services , including ones for:

• UCAS Undergraduate
• UCAS Oxbridge
• UCAS Postgraduate

Our professional editors are here to help those who are struggling with their personal statements, and need a little extra help with putting together a final draft.

You can also use our Personal Statement Template to help you put together your first draft.

What should I not include in my personal statement?

When writing your UCAS personal statement, it's best to avoid the following:

• Humour or jokes
• Cliches and quotes
• Over-used words and phrases
• Lies or stretching the truth
• Not getting feedback from family and friends
• Forgetting to include your skills, work experience and/or personal traits.

For more information, please take a look at our 10 Personal Statement Don'ts .

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Sixth Form Personal Statement 1

Sixth form personal statement.

I attend xxxxxxxxxxxxxx School. I am currently studying a range of GCSE's including Maths, English Language and Literature, Double Science, French, Geography, IT and Food Technology. I enjoy IT and Food Technology because I find them interesting to learn. My favourite subject is English as I enjoy reading, writing, using a wide range of vocabulary and evaluating characters from novels

I have been a member of the girls' basketball team. I completed my work experience in a shoe shop and gained various skills including how to deal with difficult customers and learned how to communicate with customers which helped me for the future

I like reading, watching films, listening to music, playing basketball and socialising with friends and family. My friends and family say I am a pleasant, kind, caring, considerate and quiet person. I would say other people see me as a kind, friendly, respectful and down to earth person

I intend to go onto college after finishing school and study A levels

I would like to take English Language, Economics, Law and History. I would like to become a lawyer. I understand that there are different areas a lawyer can work in and I am not sure of the type of lawyer I want to become. I would like to legally represent people and help them with problems they have. I am a tolerant, hardworking, polite and friendly person.

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The best statements tend to be genuine and specific from the very start. You'll be on the right track if you show your enthusiasm for the subject or course, your understanding of it, and what you want to achieve.

Admissions tutors – the people who read and score your personal statement – say don’t get stressed about trying to think of a ‘killer opening’. Discover the advice below and take your time to think about how best to introduce yourself.

Liz Bryan: HE Coordinator and Careers Advisor, Queen Elizabeth Sixth Form College

Preparing to write your personal statement.

Start by making some notes . The personal statement allows admissions tutors to form a picture of who you are. So, for the opener, think about writing down things, such as:

• why you’re a good candidate
• your motivations
• what brings you to this course

If you’re applying for multiple courses , think about how your skills, academic interests, and the way you think are relevant to all the courses you've chosen.

Top tips on how to write your statement opener

We spoke to admissions tutors at unis and colleges – read on for their tips.

1. Don't begin with the overkill opening

Try not to overthink the opening sentence. You need to engage the reader with your relevant thoughts and ideas, but not go overboard .

Tutors said: ‘The opening is your chance to introduce yourself, to explain your motivation for studying the course and to demonstrate your understanding of it. The best personal statements get to the point quickly. Go straight in. What excites you about the course and why do you want to learn about it more?’

Be succinct and draw the reader in, but not with a gimmick. This isn't the X Factor. Admissions tutor

2. Write about why you want to study that course

Think about why you want to study the course and how you can demonstrate this in your written statement :

’Your interest in the course is the biggest thing. Start with a short sentence that captures the reason why you’re interested in studying the area you’re applying for and that communicates your enthusiasm for it. Don't waffle or say you want to study something just because it's interesting. Explain what you find interesting about it.’

It's much better to engage us with something interesting, relevant, specific and current in your opening line… Start with what's inspiring you now, not what inspired you when you were six. Admissions tutor

3. Avoid cliches

Try to avoid cliches and the most obvious opening sentences so you stand out from the very first line . UCAS publishes a list of common opening lines each year. Here are just some overused phrases to avoid using in your personal statement:

• From a young age…      
• For as long as I can remember…
• I am applying for this course because…
• I have always been interested in…
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed…

And try not to use quotes . Quotations are top of the list of admissions tutors' pet hates.

4. Maybe don't begin at the start?

’Concentrate on the main content of your statement and write the introduction last. I think the opening line is the hardest one to write, so I often say leave it until the end and just try and get something down on paper.’

It may be easier to get on with writing the main content of your statement and coming back to the introduction afterwards –that way you will also know what you’re introducing.

I often advise applicants to start with paragraph two, where you get into why you want to study the course. That's what we're really interested in. Admissions tutor

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Joseph bolton: year 2 history& politics student, university of liverpool.

• Do talk about you and your enthusiasm for the subject from the very start.
• Do be specific. Explain what you want to study and why in the first two sentences.
• Do come back to the opening sentences if you can’t think what to write straightaway.
• Don’t waste time trying to think of a catchy opening.
• Don't waffle – simply explain what you find interesting about the subject and show that you know what you are applying for.
• Don't rely on someone else's words. It's your statement after all – they want to know what you think.

One final thought

Think about making a link between your opening sentence and closing paragraph – a technique sometimes called the 'necklace approach’.

You can reinforce what you said at the start or add an extra dimension. For example, if you started with an interesting line about what’s currently motivating you to study your chosen degree course, you could link back to it at the end, perhaps with something about why you’d love to study this further at uni.

Need more advice?

• Struggling with the conclusion to your personal statement? Read our guide on how to finish your statement the right way .
• Read more dos and don’ts when writing your personal statement . 
• Discover what to include in your personal statement .
• Start your opening sentences with our personal statement builder now.

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so i’m writing my personal statement about filmmaking and how it has essentially been a gateway for me to step outside of my comfort zone, capitalize on opportunities, and create new experiences. i then went on to use 3 very specific examples of the opportunities i obtained through filmmaking and how these opportunities motivated me to do other extracurriculars. however i feel like my essay is more like a resume than a personal statement as i talked A LOT about my extracurricular activities that were already listed on my common app activities section. for example, i wrote about an interview i filmed with a city council candidate and how this experience pushed me to run and be elected for my school ASB president. i also talked about how editing a video for a sports organization pushed me to start my own sports club at school. would this be too many activities to write about? would it sound too much like a resume rather than something personal?

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Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

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What are healthy boundaries?

Types of healthy boundaries, unhealthy boundaries, how to set and maintain boundaries, setting boundaries tip 1: know what you want in a relationship, tip 2: talk to the person about your needs, tip 3: enforce boundaries, how to respond when someone else sets a boundary, setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

Whether you’re dealing with romantic partners, family, friends, or coworkers, maintaining healthy boundaries can help you strengthen relationships, avoid unhealthy connections, and improve your self-esteem and overall well-being.

You might hear the word “boundaries” and imagine walls that separate you from other people. In a sense, that’s true. But boundaries aren’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, they’re an important ingredient in healthy, balanced relationships. They’re also a crucial part of maintaining your identity, mental health, and physical well-being. 

Boundaries can include restrictions on physical actions, such as asking a roommate or partner not to look through your phone or not to interrupt when you’re working from home. They can also be psychological, such as asking your spouse to accept that your goals and dreams may not always be the same as theirs.

Healthy boundaries serve to:

• Encourage autonomy and reduce codependent habits .
• Set expectations when interacting with others.
• Give you a sense of empowerment and self-respect.
• Ensure your physical and emotional comfort.
• Clarify individual responsibilities in a relationship.
• Separate your wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings from those of others.

Without healthy boundaries, your relationships can become toxic and unsatisfying and your well-being can suffer. You might feel taken advantage of if a friend keeps asking for money, for example, or feel overwhelmed by stress if you feel the need to solve all of your partner’s emotional problems. Or if a parent continually invades your privacy, you’ll likely feel resentful. Similarly, if you continually ignore another person’s boundaries, you risk making them feel uncomfortable and damaging the relationship.

Boundaries aren’t just necessary in your personal relationships, though. They’re also needed in the workplace, where coworkers or managers might monopolize your time or disregard your needs. Unhealthy boundaries at work can also follow you home and reduce the quality of your personal life.

One study showed that when boundaries are blurred between personal life and work, people experience more emotional exhaustion and less happiness. On the other hand, setting boundaries, particularly when it comes to job duties, can lead to a greater sense of empowerment.

Learning how to set and maintain boundaries can change many aspects of your life, ranging from work to family relations to dating. It all starts with understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries.

Personal boundaries can come in many forms. However, not every relationship requires you to address every type of boundary. For example, you might need to set physical restrictions with a coworker but not financial ones.

Physical boundaries help keep you comfortable and safe, not just when you’re dealing with strangers, but also when you’re interacting with those closest to you. For example, you might tell someone that you’d prefer handshakes instead of hugs. Or you could tell a friend that you need to take a rest during a lengthy bike ride. If a physical space belongs to you, you can set limitations around that as well. Perhaps you don’t want someone to intrude in your bedroom or clutter your office with their items.

Sexual boundaries could involve anything from asking for consent before being physically intimate to checking in with your partner’s comfort level during sex. Even if you’ve been with your partner for years, you should make an ongoing habit of communicating your preferences . You might want to reassess limitations and expectations surrounding things like frequency of sex and contraception use.

Emotional boundaries ensure that others are respectful of your emotional well- being and internal comfort level. When setting an emotional boundary, you might say something like, “I don’t want to talk about this subject while I’m at work because I need to focus.” You might also use these barriers to prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed by other people’s feelings. For example, you can acknowledge you’re not responsible for how another person reacts to your decision to turn them down for a second date.

Material/financial boundaries extend to your belongings, such as money, clothing, car, or home. If you’re a charitable person, you might have a hard time saying “no” to people who want to borrow items. However, people may intentionally or unintentionally take advantage of your goodwill, and then you may notice your own resentment building. When setting a material restriction, you might say something like, “You can borrow my phone charger, but please put it back when you’re done” or “No, I can’t loan you money for new shoes.”

[Read: Coping with Financial Stress]

Time boundaries allow you to focus on your priorities at work and in your personal life without feeling crowded by other people’s needs and wants. Imagine that you’ve had a stressful work week and want to spend the weekend recuperating. You might decline a party invite or set a limit on how long you’ll be there. Other time-related restrictions could include asking a friend to avoid calling you during work hours or asking a partner to delay an important conversation until a more convenient time.

Shifting boundaries

Boundaries aren’t etched in stone. You’ll need to adjust them as circumstances change and relationships grow. This can be especially true in long-term relationships. Communication is important as you reevaluate and revise your boundaries. You want the other person to be clear on the change and the reason behind it.

Examples of shifting boundaries

Unhealthy boundaries often tend to be either too rigid or too porous. Healthy ones fall somewhere between these two extremes.

• Rigid boundaries keep other people at a distance, even loved ones. Maybe you refuse to talk about your emotions with your partner or rarely set aside time to meet with friends.
• Porous or weak boundaries develop when you have a hard time saying “no” to others. For example, you might be too willing to take on all the responsibilities in a relationship. Or maybe you tend to overshare when talking with strangers.

There are many reasons why people may consistently struggle with unhealthy boundaries, such as:

Desire for control. Some people use boundaries to manipulate others. For example, a person might use rigid boundaries to stonewall conversations, refusing to engage with you until you do what they want.

Fear of rejection. If you’re afraid of a romantic partner walking out of your life because of your flaws, you might hesitate to be emotionally open with them.

Lack of experience with setting limitations. If you grew up surrounded by people who set poor personal boundaries, managing proper ones can be a challenge. You might think that invading other people’s personal space is normal because your parents and siblings regularly did it to you.

Overly agreeable personality. If you’re too eager to please other people, you might allow them to do things that make you uncomfortable. Maybe you regularly overcommit to activities or agree to help people because you simply want to be loved and accepted.

Low self-esteem. You might feel as if your needs and wants aren’t worth vocalizing, or that you don’t have an identity of your own. Instead, you prioritize what other people want. As a result, people fail to recognize your discomfort.

Boundaries and enabling behavior

When someone you love is dealing with addiction , you may need to shift your boundaries to avoid enabling their behavior. Enabling is when you shield someone from the consequences of their actions. For example, you might want to offer to pay their legal bills for a DUI or lie to other people to cover up evidence of a gambling or drug addiction . These kinds of actions may seem helpful in the moment, but you’re actually preventing your loved one from learning from their mistakes.

[Read: Helping Someone with a Drug Addiction]

Enabling isn’t limited to situations that involve addiction. It can happen in other mental health issues. For example, if your loved has social anxiety disorder, you may try to shield them from uncomfortable interactions by speaking up for them in pubic. The result is that they continue to rely on you instead of addressing the issue on their own.

While it’s usually best to start setting boundaries early on in a relationship, establishing healthy rules and limitations can help strengthen a relationship at any stage.

In many cases, you may not even realize a certain restriction is needed until you get to know each other more. For example, it might take you some time to realize that a coworker is regularly distracting you while on the job or that a romantic interest seems too controlling.

The following tips can help you establish boundaries if you are experiencing trouble communicating or connecting with a person in your life.

Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, it’s hard to have your needs met if you don’t know what they are. Reflecting on your values and beliefs is a good place to start.

Ask yourself questions like:

• What traits do I like to see in other relationships?
• What behaviors bother me?
• What qualities do I admire in others?
• What material items matter the most to me and why?
• How do I like to spend my time?
• What makes me feel fulfilled?

By gaining a more thorough understanding of yourself, you can begin to imagine the types of boundaries you need. If you know that you value independence, you’ll likely want to set financial rules between you and a partner. If you value high productivity or privacy, you might set physical boundaries with coworkers who tend to wander into your workspace.

Assessing how you feel with someone

Thinking about how others make you feel can also help you identify necessary boundaries. After interacting with other people, reflect on your feelings by asking yourself questions.

• Did the other person make jokes or comments that made you feel disrespected?
• Did they do anything that made you physically uncomfortable or unsafe, such as raise their voice in anger ?
• Did you feel pressured to do things that didn’t match your values?
• Did you feel overwhelmed by the person’s requests or expectations of you?
• Did you feel as if they were infringing on your sense of control or infantilizing you?

A moment of reflection can help you decide whether you need to set limitations with the person in the future.

Knowing how to effectively communicate your needs to others is important. Rushed conversations, poor wording, and vague requests can make it harder for loved ones to understand and respect your ground rules.

Consider timing. The best time to set a boundary with your partner is when you both feel relaxed and can focus on the conversation. If you’re mid-argument, try cooling down and circling back to the conversation once you’re both calm.

Be prepared. Nervous about discussing your needs? Write your points down before the discussion so that you can speak clearly about your needs.

Consider the delivery. Try to use “I” statements to convey how you feel. Avoid “you” statements, which can seem accusatory. For example, say, “I felt overwhelmed with the amount of work I had to take care of while you were away.” Expressing your emotions is a great way to start laying the groundwork for a relationship boundary.

Be clear. A vague request, such as, “I’d like more personal space” may get the message across, but it’s better to be as clear as possible to avoid confusing the other person. Try, “I feel disrespected and uncomfortable when you come into my room unannounced. Please knock before entering.” A calm but firm tone lets the other person know you’re being serious but not disrespectful.

[Read: Effective Communication]

Address feedback. Depending on the boundary, your partner may have questions for you. Know that you don’t need to justify your needs or explain yourself, but doing so may help the other person understand where you’re coming from. You might even ask follow-up questions to ensure the right message was conveyed.

Feedback in romantic relationships

In romantic relationships , it’s especially important to ask your partner how they feel about a request, rather than guessing. Ask if it seems unfair or unusual to them. Or ask whether it conflicts with something they need or want.

Each of you has your own thoughts and feelings, and each person is responsible for putting these sentiments into words in order to be understood.

Let others take responsibility for their emotions. We often feel naturally inclined to care about how other people feel and react to our words and actions. However, you shouldn’t feel responsible for how the other person reacts to the boundary. For example, they might be upset that you’re asking for more “me time.” This could lead you to feel guilty or selfish. Remind yourself why you’re setting the restriction in the first place: You want some time alone to pursue your separate hobbies and avoid feeling emotionally crowded. Don’t feel you have to disregard your own needs.

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.

Not everyone in your life is going to respect your boundaries all of the time. A partner might accidentally cross one or difficult family members might do so intentionally.

Restate your needs. It’s possible that the other person didn’t understand your original request or simply forgot it. Be calm, firm, and clear about what you need.

Have clear and reasonable consequences for crossing a boundary. If someone has a habit of talking over you, for example, you could say, “I feel disrespected when you talk over me. If you do that again, I’ll have to end the conversation.”

Only state consequences that you’re willing to enforce. If you aren’t willing to follow through on a consequence, the other person will feel empowered to overstep your boundaries in the future. For example, if you tell your partner that you’ll take a break from the relationship if they keep lying to you, it’s important to actually follow through on that.

You’re not the only one who can set boundaries. When someone voices a restriction, you might feel a sense of shame or frustration. Perhaps you feel like you’re being reprimanded or “put in your place.”

You may notice some negative emotions rushing to the surface as you try to immediately defend your actions. Keep in mind that you are not losing anything but gaining knowledge of what makes the person in your life feel safe and happy.

Take time to breathe and listen. If you’re feeling upset, deep, slow breathing can calm your nervous system’s “fight or flight” response. This makes it easier for you to receive information rather than prepare for an argument.

[Read:Quick Stress Relief]

Accept that the person setting the boundary knows what is best for them. If something truly doesn’t work for you, communicate your needs so that you can both reach a compromise.

Remember that you both have your own way of processing and feeling emotions. Try not to assume what your partner needs before they say it out loud. Allow them space to voice their needs and wants.

Apologize when necessary. You’re only human, and we all make mistakes. Maybe you accidentally overstepped a boundary by making an offensive joke or oversharing when you’ve been asked not to. When someone reiterates the boundary, be humble enough to apologize for your mistake. Ask for clarity if you feel you need it.

By learning to accept and acknowledge other people’s boundaries, you can start to think about how you can improve your own connections with others. Ultimately, effective boundaries can leave you both feeling empowered and result in a healthier, more satisfying relationship .

More Information

• Boundary Setting Worksheet - Practice crafting “I” statements and other elements of boundary setting. (University of Arkansas)
• Boundary Worksheet - Worksheet to practice setting boundaries in different situations. (Pittsburgh Essential Speakers)
• Four steps to setting healthy boundaries in your relationship - Tips for setting and maintaining boundaries. (Relate)
• 7 Tips to Create Healthy Boundaries with Others | Psychology Today . (n.d.). Retrieved June 5, 2022, from Link
• Boundaries: What are they and how to create them | Wellness Center | University of Illinois Chicago . (n.d.). Retrieved June 5, 2022, from Link
• Hornung, S. (2019). Crafting Task and Cognitive Job Boundaries to Enhance Self- Determination, Impact, Meaning and Competence at Work. Behavioral Sciences , 9(12), 136. Link
• Pluut, H., & Wonders, J. (2020). Not Able to Lead a Healthy Life When You Need It the Most: Dual Role of Lifestyle Behaviors in the Association of Blurred Work-Life Boundaries With Well- Being. Frontiers in Psychology , 11, 607294. Link
• When boundaries are crossed—MSU Extension . (n.d.). Retrieved June 5, 2022, from Link

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