avoid making announcement thesis statement

Thesis Statements

The thesis statement (which may be more than one sentence) usually appears at the end of your introduction and presents your specific argument or claim to the reader. The thesis should cover only what you discuss in your paper and be supported throughout the paper with evidence. A thesis statement serves many purposes, including the following:

• Prepare your readers for the purpose of your paper and the content
• Set the focus for your paper
• States your side on an issue
• Previews the ideas you will address

Steps to Writing a Thesis

Brainstorm by answering the following questions about your argument.

1. What is your main argument?

Miami University should install refill stations on its water fountains.

2. Why are you making this argument?

So students and faculty at Miami University can refill their water bottles easily, instead of purchasing bottled water.

3. What support will you give for your argument? What ideas will you discuss in your paper?

Refill stations can discourage waste and thus are better for the environment. Students will be more likely to use these stations if they are required to purchase reusable water bottles and do not have the option to buy bottled water on campus.

Then, combine these ideas into a thesis statement. Your thesis can be one- to two sentences long.

Miami University could improve its sustainability efforts and discourage waste through installing refill stations and encouraging their use by limiting the sale of bottled water on campus and requiring all first-year students to purchase reusable water bottles

Problems to Avoid When Writing a Thesis

1. Don't write a highly opinionated thesis. You may alienate readers, especially the ones you are trying to convince.

Example: With characteristic clumsiness, campus officials bumbled their way through the recent budget crisis. Better: Campus officials had trouble managing the recent budget crisis effectively.

2. Don't make an announcement. Include your attitude toward the subject as well as the subject. Otherwise, you're just stating your intent, not your thesis or claim.

Example: My essay will discuss handgun legislation. Better: Banning handguns is the first step toward controlling crime in America.

Example: In this essay, I will discuss cable television. OK: In this essay, I will present three reasons why cable television has not delivered on its promises. (Though this includes the writer's attitude about the subject, it is still announcing intent and is not as sophisticated and direct as the following thesis.) Even better: Cable television has not delivered on its promise to provide an alternative to network programming. (This directly states what the writer will discuss and attempt to prove.)

3. Don't make a factual statement. Your essay will develop an issue. Stating a fact doesn't give you anything to develop; there's no where to go. It just is.

Example: Many businesses pollute the environment. Better: Tax penalties should be levied against companies that pollute the environment.

Example: Today's movies are violent. Better: Movie violence provides a healthy outlet for aggression.

4. Don't make a broad statement. Your thesis should focus on the point(s) you will make; limit your subject. Use specific rather than vague or general terms.

Example: Education is often meaningless. Better: A high school education has been devalued by grade inflation.

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UMGC Effective Writing Center Designing an Effective Thesis

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Key Concepts

• A thesis is a simple sentence that combines your topic and your position on the topic.
• A thesis provides a roadmap to what follows in the paper.
• A thesis is like a wheel's hub--everything revolves around it and is attached to it.

After your prewriting activities-- such as assignment analysis and outlining--you should be ready to take the next step: writing a thesis statement. Although some of your assignments will provide a focus for you, it is still important for your college career and especially for your professional career to be able to state a satisfactory controlling idea or thesis that unifies your thoughts and materials for the reader.

Characteristics of an Effective Thesis

A thesis consists of two main parts: your overall topic and your position on that topic. Here are some example thesis statements that combine topic and position:

Sample Thesis Statements

Importance of tone.

Tone is established in the wording of your thesis, which should match the characteristics of your audience. For example, if you are a concerned citizen proposing a new law to your city's board of supervisors about drunk driving, you would not want to write this:

“It’s time to get the filthy drunks off the street and from behind the wheel: I demand that you pass a mandatory five-year license suspension for every drunk who gets caught driving. Do unto them before they do unto us!”

However, if you’re speaking at a concerned citizen’s meeting and you’re trying to rally voter support, such emotional language could help motivate your audience.

Using Your Thesis to Map Your Paper for the Reader

In academic writing, the thesis statement is often used to signal the paper's overall structure to the reader. An effective thesis allows the reader to predict what will be encountered in the support paragraphs. Here are some examples:

Use the Thesis to Map

Three potential problems to avoid.

Because your thesis is the hub of your essay, it has to be strong and effective. Here are three common pitfalls to avoid:

1. Don’t confuse an announcement with a thesis.

In an announcement, the writer declares personal intentions about the paper instead stating a thesis with clear point of view or position:

Write a Thesis, Not an Announcement

 2. a statement of fact does not provide a point of view and is not a thesis..

An introduction needs a strong, clear position statement. Without one, it will be hard for you to develop your paper with relevant arguments and evidence.

Don't Confuse a Fact with a Thesis

3. avoid overly broad thesis statements.

Broad statements contain vague, general terms that do not provide a clear focus for the essay.

Use the Thesis to Provide Focus

Practice writing an effective thesis.

OK. Time to write a thesis for your paper. What is your topic? What is your position on that topic? State both clearly in a thesis sentence that helps to map your response for the reader.

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63 Examples and Pitfalls of Thesis Statements

The following are good examples of strong thesis statements.

Thesis statement 1

To plan and fund healthcare, local health networks are better at improving the patient experience and access to care than a large central body.

Thesis statement 2

Positioning clients with acute respiratory distress syndrome in the prone position increases ventilation and decreases mortality rates.

Pitfalls to avoid with thesis statements

Now that you have learned about strong thesis statements, take a look at four pitfalls to avoid when composing a thesis, as described in Table 6.2 and illustrated in Figure 6.5 .

Table 6.2 : Pitfalls to avoid with thesis statements

Figure 6.5: Pitfalls in thesis statements

Student Tip

Use of the First Person Perspective in a Thesis Statement

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of the first person perspective, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in “my opinion” or “I believe.” These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion will be more convincing if you use a stronger statement, such as: “As per the evidence, I argue that shifting money to preventative healthcare is important to reduce hospital healthcare costs.”

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Top 6 Most Common Thesis Statement Mistakes

Writing a well-done thesis statement can often feel easier said than done. After all, this one sentence sets the tone for your entire paper and can make or break your assignment. To help with your next essay , we've put together a list of the most common thesis statement mistakes and tips to help you avoid them.

What is a Thesis Statement?

Just in case you need a refresher, here's a quick review:

A thesis statement, as defined by Dictionary.com , is: “a short statement, usually one sentence, that summarizes the main point or claim of an essay, research paper, etc., and is developed, supported, and explained in the text by means of examples and evidence.”

A thesis statement introduces your essay's main idea in the first paragraph of your assignment. It is the guiding factor that controls and organizes all other thoughts in your research paper.

How Do I Write a Thesis Statement?

It can take a long time to master the art of crafting a thesis statement. Luckily, there are some tools to help.

A good place to start is by checking out a thesis statement template. This will help ensure that you're including everything you're supposed to.

Here's a quick example:

You can also use an online thesis generator to organize your main idea and evidence. You enter the basic information about your argument and topic, and it helps you create a solid thesis statement.

It also helps to take time to explore some thesis statement examples (both good and bad) to clarify how to fix some of these common mistakes.

What are the Most Common Thesis Statement Mistakes?

Once you know the basics of how to write a thesis statement, there are certain mistakes to watch out for. Learning how to identify these common errors and understanding how to avoid them will help make your thesis statement a strong one.

1. The Statement is Unclear

Your reader needs to immediately understand your purpose. If it is vague or unclear, you've lost your audience from the start. Narrow down your focus and use straightforward language to state your main idea .

• Example thesis: The food in America is gross, unhealthy, and expensive, so we probably shouldn't be eating any of it.
• Improved thesis: Due to the obesity crisis in America, lawmakers should consider creating a plan to lower the prices of healthier foods so that everyone can afford to eat high-quality foods.

2. The Statement is Too Complicated

Making a statement that is too long or wordy generally confuses your reader. It also weakens the argument you are trying to make.

• Example thesis: Many athletes, such as those who play in colleges or for organizations like the NCAA, do not make any money, which is devastating because they deserve to make a substantial amount of money due to their efforts on the court and on the field and due to the fact that colleges earn a profit off of the sports that these athletes play.
• Improved thesis: NCAA athletes should receive compensation for their sports in college because they are generating revenue for universities and risking injury for themselves.

3. The Statement is Too Basic or Obvious

As you move up through school, your writing should mature as well. A successful thesis statement from junior high is not necessarily a strong thesis statement in high school or college. While being very basic and obvious in your younger writing might be fine, writing as an older student should be more precise and refined.

• Example thesis: In this paper, I will be discussing the importance of eating a healthy breakfast every day.
• Improved thesis: Eating a healthy breakfast is important to help your body function at its optimal level throughout the day.

4. The Statement has No Real Purpose

Your readers need to care about your topic in some way. Is this information helpful? Beneficial? Worth investigating? If not, choose a heartier topic that's worth discussing.

• Example thesis: I think these blue socks are the prettiest ones in the drawer.
• Improved thesis: Students should be allowed to express themselves as individuals by choosing any type of socks and shoes they want to wear to school.

5. The Statement Uses Poor Language Choices

Slang, abbreviations, and poor spelling have no place in a clear thesis statement. Use professional language to make your point.

• Example thesis: The best comedians should make you LOL 24-7.
• Improved thesis: To be a quality comedian, you must develop your craft in a way that inspires laughter and smiles at every performance.

6. The Statement Lacks Connection to the Rest of the Essay.

Even if you have a decent thesis statement, it will mean nothing if the rest of the essay strays from your main idea. Always connect your thoughts back to the thesis statement . The paper needs to be coherent and stay on target with your original argument.

Crafting a thorough thesis statement can feel like a difficult task, but it doesn't have to. If you are mindful of common mistakes that students make, you can avoid these errors and create a thesis statement that is clear, engaging, and purposeful.

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Introduction

Goals and Goal Setting

Goals Common to All RST Writers

Other Goals to Consider

Defining My Own Goals

Advice about Assignments

Getting Started: Listing Topics to Write about in the Tutorial

Narrative One: Personal Piece on a Significant Experience

Narrative Two: Academic Piece on a Significant Experience

Summary/Response One

Summary/Response Two

Tutorial Evaluation Postscript

On Using the Resources for Writers

Generating and Developing Ideas

Finding/Expressing Main Ideas

Showing v. Telling Sentences

Focusing Topic Sentences

Thesis Statements

Reading Strategies

Assessing Your Reading Strategies

Summarizing

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1. A good thesis states the writer's clearly defined opinion on some subject. You must tell your reader what you think. Don't dodge the issue; present your opinion specifically and precisely. However, don't just make your thesis an announcement of your subject matter or a description of your intentions.

Poor : The subject of this theme is my experience with a pet boa constrictor. [This is an announcement of the subject, not a thesis.] Poor : I'm going to discuss boa constrictors as pets. [This is a statement of intention, but not a thesis.] Better : Boa constrictors do not make healthy indoor pets. [The writer states an opinion that will be explained and defended in the essay.] Better : My pet boa constrictor, Sir Pent, was a much better bodyguard than my dog, Fang. [The writer states an opinion that will be explained and illustrated in the essay.]

2. A good thesis asserts one main idea. Many essays get into trouble because the writer tries to explain two different large issues in one essay. Pick one main idea and explain it in convincing detail.

Poor : High school athletes shouldn't have to maintain a certain grade-point average to participate in school sports, and the value of sports is often worth the lower academic average. [This essay moves in two different directions.] Better : High school athletes shouldn't have to maintain a certain grade-point average to participate in school sports. [This essay will focus on one issue: reasons why a particular average shouldn't be required.]

3. A good thesis has something worthwhile to say. Some thesis statements are boring and predictable from the start ("Dogs have always been man's best friends."). Even if you are asked to write about yourself or your own experiences, you can usually universalize the essay's thesis so your readers can also identify with, or learn something about, the general subject.

Poor : The four children in my family have completely different personalities. [This statement may be true, but would anyone but the children's parents really be fascinated with this essay topic?] Better : Birth order can influence children's personalities in startling ways. [The writer is wiser to offer this controversial statement, which is of more interest to readers than the one above; the writer can illustrate her claims with examples from her family, and from other families, if she wishes.

Also, don't merely state a fact. A thesis is an assertion of opinion that leads to discussion; don't select an idea that is self-evident or dead-ended.

Poor : Child abuse is a terrible problem in our country. [Yes, of course; who wouldn't agree that child abuse is terrible?] Better : Child abuse laws in this state are too lenient for repeat offenders. [This thesis will lead to a discussion in which supporting arguments and evidence will be presented.]

4. A good thesis is limited to fit the assignment. Your thesis should be focused enough to adequately explore and develop in one essay.

Poor : The parking permit system at this university should be completely revised. [An essay calling for revision of the parking permit system would probably involve discussion of permits for various kinds of students, faculty, administrators, staff, visitors, etc. Therefore, the thesis is probably too broad for a short essay.] Better : Because of the complicated application process, the parking permit system at this university penalizes disabled students.

5. A good thesis is clearly stated in specific terms. A vague thesis will lead to vague, undeveloped, fuzzy writing. Try to avoid imprecise words ("interesting," "good"); use clear, direct, meaningful words. Also, don't clutter your thesis with expressions such as "in my opinion" or "in this essay I'll argue that ..."

Poor : My opinion is that the federal government should devote more money to solar energy research. Better : The federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.

6. A good thesis is clearly located, often in the first or second paragraph.

Revise the following, thesis statements to make them more effective according to the criteria above.

4. Process Writing

6. the thesis statement.

Thesis Statements

Your thesis statement is the most important sentence in your essay. Everything else should revolve around your thesis. It should stand out in your opening paragraph and should point the way to everything else you have to say about your topic.

Here are several guidelines for writing a good thesis:

A good thesis states the writer’s clearly defined opinion.

· Poor example:  Many Americans have differing perspectives on the proper attire to wear for an interview, and I agree with some of them.  (The writer’s opinion is not clear.)

· Good example:  Proper attire for a job interview should be professional, modest and unassuming . (Clear position on the issue.)

A good thesis asserts one main idea.

· Poor example:  The proposed feral-cat neutering program in our town will not successfully control the population, and there is no proof that feral cats pose a problem to human health anyway.  (Two main ideas.)

· Good example:  The proposed feral-cat neutering program will not successfully control the population.  (The essay will show various problems with the program.)

A good thesis has something worthwhile to say.

· Poor example:  The great Pyrenees is a nice breed of dog.  (Nothing new for the reader to know.)

· Good example:  The great Pyrenees makes a good pet because of its loyalty, affection and bravery.

A good thesis is limited to fit the assignment.

· Poor example:  Gun ownership should be banned in every state of the union.

· Good example: Voters in our county should be allowed to determine what kinds of gun-control laws should be used locally.

A good thesis is clearly stated in specific terms.

· Poor example:  The isolationist movement is good for our country.

· Good example:  President Trump’s isolationist agenda has several problems that will create major problems between us and other nations.

Avoiding Common Errors in Thesis Statements

1. Don’t make your thesis merely an announcement of your subject matter or a description of your intentions. State an attitude toward the subject.

· Poor:  I am going to discuss bearded dragons as good pets.

· Good:  Bearded dragons make excellent pets, as long as proper procedures are followed.

2. Don’t clutter your thesis with such expressions as “in my opinion,” “I believe” and “In this essay I will argue that…”

3. Don’t be unreasonable. Avoid irresponsible charges, name calling and profanity.

· Poor:  Radical religious fanatics across the nation are trying to impose their right-wing views by censoring high school library book.

· Good:  Only local school board members – not religious leaders or parents – should decide which books high school libraries should order.

4. Don’t merely state a fact. A thesis is an assertion of opinion that leads to discussion.

· Poor:  Child abuse is a terrible problem.

· Good:  Child-abuse laws in this state are too lenient for repeat offenders.

5. Don’t express your thesis in the form of a question unless the answer is already obvious to the reader.

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Research help: what to avoid while forming a thesis.

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What to Avoid While Forming a Thesis

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Starting with a research question for an English paper will typically result in forming a  thesis , a claim that you make that has evidence to support it. These types of statements do  NOT  work as a theses:

• A neutral statement, which gives no hint of the writer's position
• An announcement of the paper's broad subject
• A fact, which is not arguable
• A truism (statement that is obviously true)
• A personal or religious conviction that cannot be logically debated
• An opinion based only on your feelings
• A sweeping generalization

The problem with all of these statements is that none of them are  arguable  in the context of an academic research paper. You should feel empowered to  take a strong position  in your thesis as long as there are concrete examples to support your take. In a literary research paper for example, this evidence will typically come from your own close readings of literary texts as well as other arguments from literary critics in academic articles.

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Introductions and Thesis Statements

The role of introductions.

The introduction plays a key role in presenting a paper’s topic and in serving as the initial source of intrigue for the audience. An effective introduction simultaneously offers information about the subject and hooks the reader’s attention. The opening paragraph provides the opportunity to make a good first impression and to introduce the audience to your main point/argument, along with your quality and style of writing.

Thesis Statement

A thesis statement is a sentence or two that typically falls at the end of the introductory paragraph and serves to inform the reader of the paper’s main points.

Good thesis statements should:

• Tell the reader what to expect in the rest of your paper
• Directly answer the question or prompt of the assignment
• Avoid vague wording (be clear and concise)
• Inform the reader of the significance of the paper’s main point
• Make claims that can be supported and disputed by the evidence provided
• Be placed near or at the end of the introduction paragraph
• Not be more than two sentences
• Reflect what is discussed in the body of the paper

Examples of thesis statements:

• Weak: LGBTQ discrimination is a problem that needs to be solved.
• Strong: LGBTQ discrimination in America is an issue that needs to be addressed through federal equality legislation.

The second thesis is stronger because it describes a specific solution to the issue and provides the reader with a preview of what will be addressed in the body paragraphs.

• Weak: Autonomous cars are dangerous and should not be allowed on roads.
• Strong: Autonomous cars are dangerous because of their unpredictability, poor decision-making, and inability to process key information, which is why they should not be allowed on roads.

The second thesis is the stronger one because it gives specific information about why autonomous cars are dangerous and lists several points that will be addressed in the body paragraphs.

Types of Introductions

Depending on the kind of paper, some introductory paragraphs may work better than others. Here are a few examples of the different types of introductions:

This is the most common type of introduction used in academic writing. It provides general information and an overview of the central idea of your paper.

Example: The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger introduces the reader to Holden Caulfield, who recounts his adventures over three days following his expulsion from prep school. Through Holden, Salinger accurately captures the struggle between the twin desires for independence and connection with family experienced by most teenagers.

This type of opening allows the writer to pose rhetorical questions to the audience. The questions asked should not have an obvious answer and should make the reader interested enough to keep reading.

The inclusion of background information in the introduction provides context for the discussion that takes place in the essay.

Example: Harper Lee was born in Monroeville, Alabama in the 1920s during a period of intense racial divide in the United States. Her father was a lawyer who also ran a newspaper, and her mother suffered from a mental illness, most likely what is known today as bipolar disorder. These early influences likely contributed to the characters and storyline in Lee’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.

Dictionary definitions should be avoided; however, if the paper includes complicated vocabulary, including a definition in the introduction can be beneficial. Be sure to include citations when appropriate.

Example: An internal combustion engine (ICE) is one in which the combustion of fuel occurs within a combustion chamber housed within the engine itself. The gases from the combustion expand to power the engine. This process can unfold in several different ways.

Quotations should be included in the introduction only if they are relevant to the topic or the thesis.

Example: Cher once said, “Face it; if it came in a bottle, everyone would have a good body.” Her words speak to the fact that achieving a goal requires effort.

Opening an essay with an engaging story or a shocking statement can be an effective method of capturing the reader’s attention and interest.

Example: He was almost dead by the time I found him. He was lying on his side, crying piteously, and he could not stand up. His skin was ice cold, his horns were ice cold, and the weather was ice cold.

The use of statistics in an introduction is typically reserved for technical or scientific writing. Make sure to provide citations when appropriate.

Example: Veganuary is a yearly initiative that urges people to commit to a vegan diet for January. In 2021, more than 580,000 participated in the initiative, an increase of 45% from the previous year.

Introductions to Avoid

Announcements are statements that bluntly say what the paper or essay is about, and they compromise the formal tone of educated writing. Opening a paper with an announcement should be avoided.

Announcement examples:

• “This paper will discuss…”
• “I am going to write about…”
• “The point of this essay is to…”

Other Intros to Avoid

• Book report style: Listing information and facts that are not relevant to the thesis
• Space filler: Vague statements that show lack of depth or understanding on the topic
• “Thesis Statements.” The Writing Center at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 2 Mar. 2021.

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