research paper for girlfriend

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Whether and how to thank a girlfriend or boyfriend in the acknowledgements of thesis?

How is it received by the academia if someone thanks to his/her girlfriend/boyfriend in the acknowledgements of the thesis?

I have seen writers including his/her fiancee in the acknowledgements, however I don't know if including an informal relationship in the thesis will be received well.

If it is acceptable, how should I refer to my girlfriend?

• acknowledgement

• 5 @Moriarty: I wasn’t necessarily talking about a sexual relationship. Though I am no expert, I am pretty sure that publically stating that there is somebody who is just your girlfriend is at least pretty bad idea in Saudi Arabia, for example. –  Wrzlprmft ♦ Commented Feb 8, 2015 at 23:12
• 44 @user1938107 I'm very comfortable with the acknowledgement of my ex that is in my thesis. That relationship may have ended, but the help I acknowledged still happened. –  jakebeal Commented Feb 8, 2015 at 23:15
• 88 I thanked a fictional dog in my thesis. Nobody cared. Or noticed. –  JeffE Commented Feb 9, 2015 at 3:27
• 33 I'm pretty sure that no one has ever read the acknowledgements page of my thesis (including my PhD advisor). There's always the old joke about sticking a $20 bill into your thesis in the library and coming back 10 years later to find it still there... –  Andy Putman Commented Feb 9, 2015 at 6:31
• 14 Dunno about thesis, but my BSc ticket is still taped inside its cardboard tube, 38 years after I received it. Nobody has ever asked to see it, so I never opened it. I daren't open it now in case, instead of a degree certificate, it contains merely a 'You're joking, surely!' note from my prof. –  Martin James Commented Feb 9, 2015 at 15:29

2 Answers 2

The acknowledgements section is really yours to do with as you wish. You can thank anybody who has been of help and support to you, no matter how formal or informal your relationship with them is. You can make the relationship explicit or not, however you prefer. Thus, for example, it is equally valid to write:

Thank you to Jane Smith, for all her love and support

Thank you to my girlfriend Jane Smith, for all her love and support

• 3 @keshlam's answer –  Lilienthal Commented Feb 9, 2015 at 13:33
• 2 Sadly, for a thesis this might not be the case. Check the rules of your institute! In my home country, the University of Leiden is somewhat infamous for forbidding "excessively long non-academic acknowledgments" and making a fuss about acknowledgments to deities, going as far as forcing people to reprint their thesis, or rip out the acknowledgment altogether. –  JanJ Commented Feb 10, 2015 at 11:42

Adding to jakebeal (and keshlam's comment about offensive text), I think the only negative consequence is when you leave specific people out, e.g., you thank one supervisor but not the other. And that includes people who did support you during your thesis but were not part of the formal structures, e.g., your partner, or your parents, etc. Not to argue with comics, but PhDComics put it best: " Acknowledgements " and " To you I dedicate this thesis ".

To avoid forgetting someone, I found it useful to add a general thank you paragraph after the personalized acknowledgements for all those I did not mention explicitly (sums up other colleagues, extended family, etc.).

• 2 This is a very good answer. Actually, I think there is nothing wrong arguing with comics. Thank you. –  padawan Commented Feb 10, 2015 at 23:05

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Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology

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A Time-Series Analysis of my Girlfriends Mood Swings

Dr. Chad Broman 1

1 Department of Applied Psychological Machine Learning, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

Despite recent advances in active listening, date night, and extended pillow talk; it is becoming increasingly more difficult to forecast Tiffany’s mood. With more and more Playstation 5 exclusive games, it is becoming increasingly important to determine Tiffany’s mood before purchasing a new game and playing online Co-op with the boys every evening for a week straight. This paper aims to determine the optimal forecast model of my girlfriend’s drastically growing mood swings by comparing simple moving averages, to sextuple exponential smoothing and even an overly complicated Machine Learning model. Despite initial time-series analysis showing non- stationarity and highly seasonal mood swings, the more simple models provided less riskier forecast predictions when planning a three day bender after Matt got divorced. 

Keywords: Relationships, Time Series Analysis, Forecast Modeling, Playstation 5 Exclusives 

1. Introduction

Traditional methods of determining whether Tiffany is in a good mood has produced wildly subjective results causing dangerous outcomes such as her taking three hours to respond to a text, flaking on netflix and chill plans or even most disastrously having to return a speed boat even though it was a great deal and an even better investment. 

Just asking her if she’s okay is not enough anymore. The only reliable method is to develop, test, verify, and implement an extensive forecasting model by Time Series Analysis of historical Tiffany mood swing data. 

1.1 Background

Tiffany and I met at Cranberry-Lemon University as sophomores in our BS required Theoretical Physical Education class ten years ago. After being the last two in the quantum particle dodgeball match, we began an on again, off again relationship until our Junior fall semester when it became too cold to go outside. That’s when I initially began my Time-Series Analysis. She and I are now two young professionals living in our own home which we financed using a downpayment from not eating avocado toast for three years while I finished my doctorate program.

Tiffany is now a freemium gaming marketing consultant who hates it when I call it freemium gaming. She loves Disney, prefers beach vacations over mountains, and was obsessed with Game of Thrones until the end of the last season. When she’s not binge watching the office, you can find her endlessly scrolling through reddit for memes, facebook or instagram for jealousy, and  twitter to keep up on all the public officials and celebrities she hates the most. 

1.2 Time-Series Analysis Purpose

Ever since her best friends started having kids and she got promoted to a stressful corporate position she was not trained for, it has become exponentially difficult to plan around Tiffany’s emotional highs and lows. This is becoming not only problematic but is a problem that needs to be solved immediately. To dispel any misconceptions, it’s not about avoiding her negative mood swings with asinine boyfriend behavior but also taking advantage of her positive mood swings for the least risky time to hang out with the boys or even more risky, refinance the house so I can get that boat back. Most importantly, there is one known application that has expedited the development of this forecast model. The Final Fantasy 7 remake will be released soon this June in under a month! 

The amount of time it is expected to take to 100% complete the game, despite playing the original many times, must be carefully scheduled around a reliable Tiffany Mood Forecast Model (TMFM). Subsequent Time-Series Analysis has shown a ten hour video game binge timed wrong could be catastrophic. Being able to plan around her mood will not only allow enough time to max out Cloud’s stats but create more opportunities for other future video game releases while keeping Tiffany happy. 

Initial Time-Series Analysis of historical screen time and purchase history data has shown that Tiffany’s mood is not only seasonal but auto correlated. This was confirmed in [1] by her Pearson Correlation Coefficient and a variety of metrics. Unfortunately, a study [1] determined that her mood is not stationary by using a Dickey-Fuller test which means that simple seasonally adjusted models will not be adequate. 

2. Data Collection and Cleaning

Data collection of Tiffany’s mood swings has been an ongoing effort ever since the infamous speed boat incident of 2018 deconstructed in [2]. As 1970s mood ring accuracy has been long debunked by popular science, a more active approach has been required [3]. Mood swing severity has been logged and time stamped with a subjective empathic pain scale, as well as time and monetary loss. 

Figure 1: Empathetic mood pain scale Robert Weis , CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons

The Time-Series Analysis and modeling was only 15% of the work to develop the optimal TMFM. Before Tiffany’s historical mood data was able to be analyzed in [1] and then forecasted in this paper, it had to be collected and cleaned. Of course her moods may be seasonal and represented in impromptu online purchases, non-mood related shopping appeared to be seasonal according to holidays and special occasions. Likewise, social media doom and hate scrolling might be highly correlated with mood, or just from breaking news stories which is not helpful in our TMFM.

This does not mean that these special seasonal effects and 24 hour news cycles are not influential towards Tiffany’s mood swings. Due to the problem of season-holiday-mood causality, a Mood Metric Equivalent Measurement (MMEM) was established in [4] in order to in take seasonal data to accurately assess Tiffany Mood Variability (TMV) in the equations below where SACM is the Seasonal Auto Correlated Matrix calculated by average purchases and social media trending analytics normalized by her work week burden. The SACM is then transformed into the TMV by ensuring matrix symmetry.   

• SACM = (eig(Purchases)  +  eig(dSocial MediaScrolling/dt))*inv(Work Week Burden)
• TMV = 0.5*(SACM+SACM.transpose)

3. Time-Series Analysis Methodologies

Due to the meticulously cleaned data, black box Time-Series Analysis tools were easily applied and evaluated against Tiffany’s historical data. With more than two years of data, these forecasting models could be cross validated for a historical first in our ten year relationship, far beating the over fit multivariate approach which caused the end of my relationship with my high school sweetheart a year into college [5]. Tiffany’s data was modeled in this paper using a seven day moving average, Sextuple Exponential Smoothing, Autoregressive-moving average (ARMA) and one overly complicated Machine learning black boxes.

3.1 Moving Average

The most simple model applied to Tiffany’s mood swing data was a seven day moving average. While this extremely rudimentary approach may have not been the best for implementing higher dimensionality predictors, it created less noisy forecasts compared to the more complex alternatives. While her data appeared to be autocorrelated over a 24 hour cycle, the most effective averaging window for non intuitive forecasts optimized at a 7 day moving average in case she was just feeling a bad case of the Mondays. This is not true in extremely variable days such as below in Figure 2 implemented with an hour by hour moving average model of Tiffany’s mood during the 2018 Speedboat and Pregnancy Scare Incident [2]. 

Figure 2: Tiffany’s Mood during the 2018 Pregnancy Scare

Tiffany by no means could be modeled with a simple moving average with sufficient hour by hour or even day by day resolution. This was established in the Widespread Panic conjecture [6] after I saw her at a jam band concert for the first time. Regardless, seven day average forecasting does find use in this simple model beyond traditional intuition. 

3.2 Sextuple Exponential Smoothing

In order to make exponential smoothing achievable for an optimal TMFM, six Time-Series Analysis smoothing functions were needed. Traditionally, a single exponential smoothing model can be used on more stationary data. A double exponential smoothing function is then used when there is a trend in the time series. Adding yet another exponential smoothing function then can handle seasonal variation. 

For Tiffany’s model, a fourth, fifth and sixth exponential smoothing layer was needed to account for weekly boys nights keeping me at the bar until last call, the effects from her mother’s periodic cryptic telephone conversations as well as the occasional friends weddings and child births while I wait for the perfect time to pop the question, even though she understands that it just hasn’t been the right time for the past three years and we do not need a societal construct to show how much we love each other. Choosing the smoothing alpha values has proven to be almost as challenging as cleaning the data but still not impossible.

3.3 Autoregressive–moving-average model

While Tiffany is very self conscious about this and I’ve always been into it, she has always required a extensive linear combination of polynomials to be effectively modeled [7] both in personality and physical appearance. As far as this paper is concerned, an Autoregressive-moving-average (ARMA) model was the only way to capture her unique combination of seasonality and personality describing polynomials.  

Among the traditional Time-Series forecast modeling techniques, ARMA is the most likely to get the lower level resolution forecast predictions for riskier behavior such as reopening the boat discussion while potentially defending seemingly low risk behavior against classic Tiffany relationship conversations that begin with “I’m fine…it’s just that…” 

The ARMA is expected to be the most high risk high reward mood swing modeling technique. Discovering the positive and negative mood swings will be high risk high reward depending on if the forecast model can find the right time delay parameter when fitting the weekly/daily/seasonal driven polynomials. 

3.4 Overly Complicated ML Approach

There’s nothing better at modeling a black box like Tiffany’s mood swings like an unexplainable Machine Learning black box. Using a python Long Short Term Memory (LSTM) structure I created for my buddy so that he would stop bothering me about making billions predicting the stock market with my programming knowledge and his financial acumen, Tiffany’s mood could also be forecasted. 

Even after ten years of a steady relationship and many ups and downs, there is still a lot which baffles me about that wonderful woman. As much as I think I know about her after years of dating and extensive Time-Series Analysis, a black box canned Machine Learning algorithm approach may be the best method to have my cake and eating it when FF7 comes out in less than three weeks. 

Figure 3: ML implementation of a TMFM

However, as the ARMA approach was high risk/high reward, there’s no telling how high risk/high reward using an overkill trendy machine learning algorithm will be in practice. It may pick up on things about her I won’t know for another ten or even twenty years, likewise it could ignore obvious trends and characteristics I could code into a moving average or exponential smoothing function. 

As exciting as it is, playing the Final Fantasy 7 remake is not important enough and there is not enough training data to create an extensive staged supervised deep learning training scheme that could take advantage of my knowledge of a properly structured TMFM. It’s coming out in under a month, there’s no time! Canned ML algorithms it is!

With under a month away to the release date, the forecasting was hastily tested and documented so that in the eventuality the models do not work, I can’t be labeled “Insensitive to her feelings again,” like when CyberPunk 2077 came out right when she couldn’t tell if her entire marketing team was completely working against her after her promotion to team lead. It turned out they weren’t but that’s not what was important. 

When my college roommate Matt got divorced, we last minute drove to New York for a three day bender and monitored Tiffany’s passive aggressive text messages and concern for how much money I was spending to evaluate each model against MMEM truth data. Each model performed generally as predicted and their results can be seen in Figure 4. As speculated, the lower fidelity models were lower risk while the higher fidelity models were locally more accurate with occasional inaccurate predictions and time delay problems. 

Figure 4: Forecast Performance During 3+ Day Bender

The seven day moving average was able to best predict overall trends in Tiffany’s mood but missed the lower fidelity changes the other models predicted. The Sextuple Exponential Smoothing function was able to achieve higher fidelity forecasting but missed many of the local trends. While the ARMA was able to pick up on the greater trends and more of the local trends, it produced dangerously inaccurate forecasts which, if acted upon, would have started at least one, maybe two evening long discussions on “Where is this relationship even going.” 

The ML approach was unfortunately bad at nearly everything and the effort should be completely scrapped until there is enough historical Tiffany data to adequately train the LSTM or a more developed supervised deep learning method. Just because the algorithm is trendy and you want to flex like a cool data scientist , doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for such fast turn around analysis and forecasting like a TMFM. 

5. Conclusion

With 18 days to go until the Final Fantasy 7 remake downloads on my PS5, these algorithms are all actively monitoring Tiffany’s purchasing behavior, doom scrolling, and work conversations about her subordinates not knowing what they’re doing. Once all forecasting models agree, except the LSTM, I am confident that I can schedule enough evening video game time in between June 10th and the July 4th vacation to her parents house in Louisville KY to beat the game so that my friends won’t call me whipped.

As typical of almost any modeling project, this forecasting model highlighted the risk of balancing the inaccuracies of the higher and lower fidelity models. Tiffany will never make me go to another one of her friends’ plays if I stick with a 7 day average forecasting model, but, I won’t ever be able to max my FF7 characters before christmas unless I at least use a seasonally adjusted Three Exponential Smoothing Model. These low maturity methods are rudimentary but they do show significant utility. Eventually, one of the forecast models or combination of models will give me the confidence to buy back that speedboat.

6. Future Work

The great speedboat fiasco of 2018 was not a permanent defeat. With the right modeling and some common sense risk management, these techniques could be used to determine the best time to purchase back that speedboat from Jeffrey. I know there are not many good locations for a speedboat near Pittsburg, but it’s more of an investment in memories and with an accurate enough forecasting model, it could non-confrontationally be readdressed with Tiffany. 

• Broman, Chad 2015 Why is Valentine’s Day so Important? A Time-Series Analysis of Tiffany’s Relationship Expectations :: Journal of Psychological Machine Learning 
• Broman, Chad 2018 Ph.D. A Play by Play Time-Series Analysis of Purchasing a Luxury Speedboat during an out of Wedlock Pregnancy Scare :: Journal of Psychological Machine Learning 
• Reynolds, David 2003 The Mood Ring and why it’s okay if you aren’t Light Blue :: Journal of Retrometrics in Fad Psychometrics 
• Broman, Chad 2016 The Mood Metric Equivalent Measurement: How to Get Away with a 150$ Bar Tab :: Journal of Psychological Machine Learning 
• Broman, Chad 2010 A Multi-Dimensional Analysis of Rebecca: How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship :: Journal of Psychological Machine Learning 
• Broman, Chad Ph.D. 2018 The Jam Band Conjecture: How to Survive a Five Hour Widespread Panic Performance as the DD :: Journal of Psychological Machine Learning 
• Broman, Chad Ph.D. 2019 Modelling a Romantic Partners Curvy Personality with Polynomials: The Best time to Play Cyberpunk 2077 :: Journal of Psychological Machine Learning

If you enjoyed this well peer reviewed article please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group  here ,  or the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit  for weekly content.

Because so many people seem to like this one so much, we put it on a coffee mug for purchase

Chad and Tiffany Follow On Research!

Also check out Tiffany’s article Behavioral Conditioning Methods to Stop my Boyfriend from Playing The Witcher 3 Chad’s follow on article Sub-Nyquist Sampling While Listening to my Girlfriend or their first joint paper Who Should do the Dishes? A Transportation Problem Solution which will be coming to a print book soon with this article, so please follow for further announcements on when! Or the most recent full article installment Freudian Psychoanalysis of my Boyfriend’s Gun Collection by Tiffany.

If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: https://packt.link/at4bw Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!

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Published by b mcgraw.

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process. View more posts

20 thoughts on “ A Time-Series Analysis of my Girlfriends Mood Swings ”

I almost pissed my pants. Truly truly LOL!!! And a TeX formatted paper, using the .cls file from The Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology too!

via a link in HackerNews.

Wow, it’s so cool!!!

That is admirable. However, are you considering conducting research with a broader range of data? We’re interested in this because it enables us (specifically, the man) to accurately predict what occurred with our girlfriend. This, in my opinion, is a significant distribution with us; by the way, many thanks for your excellent and interesting work.

The last we heard from Chad’s proposal on this data collection scheme, he wrote that Tiffany was not interested in adding a third

An interesting research

“purchasing a new game and playing online Co-op with the boys every evening for a week straight” – Don’t need a paper to predict the effects of this lol.

comedic genius

Loved it! 😀

OMG, u’re so genius!

Hohoho it’s genius idea!

no words, interesting read:)

I am still in awe! is this for real?

Very interesting research! Comical analysis.

Awesome piece … I’m Impressed

Hi here can someone help me out on my school project I don’t know how to go on with it, although I was just checking online and i came across this site.. The topic “Depression prediction using social media posts” Please i just need help on this i have just a week

Really awesome!

I really think all of you have too much spare time reading and writing such banality. Get a life!

I really think this might be one of the best things I’ve seen. Your commitment to writing brings me joy. Never stop! Become one with the keyboard!

Very fun and creative ! On the side note, open communication is all you need 🙂

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Netizen creates ‘thesis’ as gift to girlfriend on 9th month celebration

This netizen just earned an A for effort!

Nicholai Silva has developed a thesis telling the story of his relationship with his girlfriend as a gift for their 9th month celebration.

The thesis, entitled “Nicholai Loving Ysa: A Study Based on the Foundation of Their Beautiful Profound Relationship and Why Nicholai Loves Ysabelle So Much,” was complete with scope of limitation, references and even a theoretical framework.

Under the “Statement of the Problem” section, Nicholai shared that his goal in creating the thesis was to “understand the beauty of the foundation of their profound relationship through the hard but fun months.”

Sharing the pages of his “thesis” on Facebook, Wednesday, Nicholai said: “Dahil mahal kita at miss ko gumawa ng thesis, eto.. HAHAHAHA. HAPPY 9TH MONTHSARY”

Ysabelle was quick to show her appreciation and commented, “woah, I love you bebiiii.” – Kaela Malig/RC, GMA News

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When love and science double date.

Illustration by Sophie Blackall

Alvin Powell

Harvard Staff Writer

Sure, your heart thumps, but let’s look at what’s happening physically and psychologically

“They gave each other a smile with a future in it.” — Ring Lardner

Love’s warm squishiness seems a thing far removed from the cold, hard reality of science. Yet the two do meet, whether in lab tests for surging hormones or in austere chambers where MRI scanners noisily thunk and peer into brains that ignite at glimpses of their soulmates.

When it comes to thinking deeply about love, poets, philosophers, and even high school boys gazing dreamily at girls two rows over have a significant head start on science. But the field is gamely racing to catch up.

One database of scientific publications turns up more than 6,600 pages of results in a search for the word “love.” The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is conducting 18 clinical trials on it (though, like love itself, NIH’s “love” can have layered meanings, including as an acronym for a study of Crohn’s disease). Though not normally considered an intestinal ailment, love is often described as an illness, and the smitten as lovesick. Comedian George Burns once described love as something like a backache: “It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”

Richard Schwartz , associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School (HMS) and a consultant to McLean and Massachusetts General (MGH) hospitals, says it’s never been proven that love makes you physically sick, though it does raise levels of cortisol, a stress hormone that has been shown to suppress immune function.

Love also turns on the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is known to stimulate the brain’s pleasure centers. Couple that with a drop in levels of serotonin — which adds a dash of obsession — and you have the crazy, pleasing, stupefied, urgent love of infatuation.

It’s also true, Schwartz said, that like the moon — a trigger of its own legendary form of madness — love has its phases.

“It’s fairly complex, and we only know a little about it,” Schwartz said. “There are different phases and moods of love. The early phase of love is quite different” from later phases.

During the first love-year, serotonin levels gradually return to normal, and the “stupid” and “obsessive” aspects of the condition moderate. That period is followed by increases in the hormone oxytocin, a neurotransmitter associated with a calmer, more mature form of love. The oxytocin helps cement bonds, raise immune function, and begin to confer the health benefits found in married couples, who tend to live longer, have fewer strokes and heart attacks, be less depressed, and have higher survival rates from major surgery and cancer.

Schwartz has built a career around studying the love, hate, indifference, and other emotions that mark our complex relationships. And, though science is learning more in the lab than ever before, he said he still has learned far more counseling couples. His wife and sometime collaborator, Jacqueline Olds , also an associate professor of psychiatry at HMS and a consultant to McLean and MGH, agrees.

Spouses Richard Schwartz and Jacqueline Olds, both associate professors of psychiatry, have collaborated on a book about marriage.

Stephanie Mitchell/Harvard Staff Photographer

More knowledge, but struggling to understand

“I think we know a lot more scientifically about love and the brain than we did a couple of decades ago, but I don’t think it tells us very much that we didn’t already know about love,” Schwartz said. “It’s kind of interesting, it’s kind of fun [to study]. But do we think that makes us better at love, or helping people with love? Probably not much.”

Love and companionship have made indelible marks on Schwartz and Olds. Though they have separate careers, they’re separate together, working from discrete offices across the hall from each other in their stately Cambridge home. Each has a professional practice and independently trains psychiatry students, but they’ve also collaborated on two books about loneliness and one on marriage. Their own union has lasted 39 years, and they raised two children.

“I think we know a lot more scientifically about love and the brain than we did a couple of decades ago … But do we think that makes us better at love, or helping people with love? Probably not much.” Richard Schwartz, associate professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

“I have learned much more from doing couples therapy, and being in a couple’s relationship” than from science, Olds said. “But every now and again, something like the fMRI or chemical studies can help you make the point better. If you say to somebody, ‘I think you’re doing this, and it’s terrible for a relationship,’ they may not pay attention. If you say, ‘It’s corrosive, and it’s causing your cortisol to go way up,’ then they really sit up and listen.”

A side benefit is that examining other couples’ trials and tribulations has helped their own relationship over the inevitable rocky bumps, Olds said.

“To some extent, being a psychiatrist allows you a privileged window into other people’s triumphs and mistakes,” Olds said. “And because you get to learn from them as they learn from you, when you work with somebody 10 years older than you, you learn what mistakes 10 years down the line might be.”

People have written for centuries about love shifting from passionate to companionate, something Schwartz called “both a good and a sad thing.” Different couples experience that shift differently. While the passion fades for some, others keep its flames burning, while still others are able to rekindle the fires.

“You have a tidal-like motion of closeness and drifting apart, closeness and drifting apart,” Olds said. “And you have to have one person have a ‘distance alarm’ to notice the drifting apart so there can be a reconnection … One could say that in the couples who are most successful at keeping their relationship alive over the years, there’s an element of companionate love and an element of passionate love. And those each get reawakened in that drifting back and forth, the ebb and flow of lasting relationships.”

Children as the biggest stressor

Children remain the biggest stressor on relationships, Olds said, adding that it seems a particular problem these days. Young parents feel pressure to raise kids perfectly, even at the risk of their own relationships. Kids are a constant presence for parents. The days when child care consisted of the instruction “Go play outside” while mom and dad reconnected over cocktails are largely gone.

When not hovering over children, America’s workaholic culture, coupled with technology’s 24/7 intrusiveness, can make it hard for partners to pay attention to each other in the evenings and even on weekends. It is a problem that Olds sees even in environments that ought to know better, such as psychiatry residency programs.

“There are all these sweet young doctors who are trying to have families while they’re in residency,” Olds said. “And the residencies work them so hard there’s barely time for their relationship or having children or taking care of children. So, we’re always trying to balance the fact that, in psychiatry, we stand for psychological good health, but [in] the residency we run, sometimes we don’t practice everything we preach.”

“There is too much pressure … on what a romantic partner should be. They should be your best friend, they should be your lover, they should be your closest relative, they should be your work partner, they should be the co-parent, your athletic partner. … Of course everybody isn’t able to quite live up to it.” Jacqueline Olds, associate professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

All this busy-ness has affected non-romantic relationships too, which has a ripple effect on the romantic ones, Olds said. A respected national social survey has shown that in recent years people have gone from having three close friends to two, with one of those their romantic partner.

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Strength in love, hope in science

Love in the crosshairs

Good genes are nice, but joy is better

“Often when you scratch the surface … the second [friend] lives 3,000 miles away, and you can’t talk to them on the phone because they’re on a different time schedule,” Olds said. “There is too much pressure, from my point of view, on what a romantic partner should be. They should be your best friend, they should be your lover, they should be your closest relative, they should be your work partner, they should be the co-parent, your athletic partner. There’s just so much pressure on the role of spouse that of course everybody isn’t able to quite live up to it.”

Since the rising challenges of modern life aren’t going to change soon, Schwartz and Olds said couples should try to adopt ways to fortify their relationships for life’s long haul. For instance, couples benefit from shared goals and activities, which will help pull them along a shared life path, Schwartz said.

“You’re not going to get to 40 years by gazing into each other’s eyes,” Schwartz said. “I think the fact that we’ve worked on things together has woven us together more, in good ways.”

Maintain curiosity about your partner

Also important is retaining a genuine sense of curiosity about your partner, fostered both by time apart to have separate experiences, and by time together, just as a couple, to share those experiences. Schwartz cited a study by Robert Waldinger, clinical professor of psychiatry at MGH and HMS, in which couples watched videos of themselves arguing. Afterwards, each person was asked what the partner was thinking. The longer they had been together, the worse they actually were at guessing, in part because they thought they already knew.

“What keeps love alive is being able to recognize that you don’t really know your partner perfectly and still being curious and still be exploring,” Schwartz said. “Which means, in addition to being sure you have enough time and involvement with each other — that that time isn’t stolen — making sure you have enough separateness that you can be an object of curiosity for the other person.”

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• DOI: 10.3142/107951402782293433
• Corpus ID: 62762726

Why I Will Never Have a Girlfriend

• Tristan Miller
• Published 1 May 2002
• Annals of Improbable Research

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Romantic Relationship Patterns, Detailed Covariates, and Impacts on Education: a Study on Young Adults in the U.S. Using ICPSR Dataset

• Published: 08 November 2022
• Volume 11 , pages 151–163, ( 2024 )

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• Tin Tin Ting   ORCID: orcid.org/0000-0001-7634-1686 1 ,
• Shee Chia Lee 2 ,
• Mee Chin Wee 3 &
• Jun Kit Chaw 4  

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Romantic relationship (RR) is inevitable among adolescents that faced various challenges in the process of physical and psychological development. However, worldwide statistics reported a drop in the marriage and birth rate. This raises a concern and urgent in warrantying a fruitful RR among young adults without affecting academic performance. This study utilizes ICPSR’s National longitudinal study of young adults (aged 18–27) datasets in analysing RR’s covariates and its impacts on education. Three datasets are merged, cleaned, and transformed ( N  = 2473, currently in relationship = 2218 (89.69%)). SPSS is used to analyse the correlation between RR with various factors (86 demographic variables, 56 RR detail variables, and 30 educational performance variables). Results showed that the pattern of RR is that 96% of young adults (93.18% aged 19–24) experienced 1st romantic relationship with 41.24% scored CGPA 2.0–2.9. 11 demographic variables, 11 romantic details variables, and 45 academic performance variables are significantly related to RR. RR also positively impacts CGPA and reduce the failure rate significantly. This study is important in providing insight in the future research in the construction of predictive modelling of young adults’ RR and academic performance to increase the success of young adults’ marriage while warrantying educational quality to promote a healthy society.

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National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health (Add Health), 1994–2018 (Public Use) (ICPSR 21600)  https://www.icpsr.umich.edu/web/ICPSR/studies/21600 .

INTI IU Research Seeding Grant 2022: INTI-FDSIT-08–02-2022.

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Tin Tin Ting

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Conceptualization: Ting Tin Tin. Methodology: Ting Tin Tin and Wee Mee Chin, Lee Shee Chia. Software: Ting Tin Tin. Validation: Lee Shee Chia, Wee Mee Chin and Chaw Jun Kit. Formal analysis: Ting Tin Tin and Lee Shee Chia. Investigation: Ting Tin Tin, Lee Shee Chia. Resources: Ting Tin Tin and Wee Mee Chin. Data curation: Ting Tin Tin. Writing–original draft preparation: Ting Tin Tin. Writing–review and editing: Lee Shee Chia, Wee Mee Chin and Chaw Jun Kit. Visualization: Ting Tin Tin. Supervision: Ting Tin Tin. Project administration: Ting Tin Tin. Funding acquisition: Ting Tin Tin. All authors have read and agreed to the published version of the manuscript.

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Ting, T., Lee, S., Wee, M. et al. Romantic Relationship Patterns, Detailed Covariates, and Impacts on Education: a Study on Young Adults in the U.S. Using ICPSR Dataset. Glob Soc Welf 11 , 151–163 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40609-022-00254-7

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• Dating and Relationships in the Digital Age

From distractions to jealousy, how Americans navigate cellphones and social media in their romantic relationships

Table of contents.

• Acknowledgments
• Methodology

How we did this

Pew Research Center has long studied the changing nature of romantic relationships as well as the role of digital technology in people’s lives. This particular report focuses on the patterns, experiences and attitudes related to digital technology use in romantic relationships. These findings are based on a survey conducted Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, among 4,860 U.S. adults. This includes those who took part as members of Pew Research Center’s American Trends Panel (ATP), an online survey panel that is recruited through national, random sampling of residential addresses, as well as respondents from the Ipsos KnowledgePanel who indicated that they identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB). The margin of sampling error for the full sample is plus or minus 2.1 percentage points.

Recruiting ATP panelists by phone or mail ensures that nearly all U.S. adults have a chance of selection. This gives us confidence that any sample can represent the whole U.S. adult population (see our Methods 101 explainer on random sampling). To further ensure that each ATP survey reflects a balanced cross-section of the nation, the data is weighted to match the U.S. adult population by gender, race, ethnicity, partisan affiliation, education and other categories.

For more, see the report’s Methodology . You can also find the questions asked, and the answers the public provided in the topline .

Amid growing debates about the impact of smartphones and social media on romantic relationships, a Pew Research Center survey conducted in October 2019 finds that many Americans encounter some tech-related struggles with their significant others.

For instance, among partnered adults in the U.S. – that is, those who are married, cohabiting or in a committed relationship, roughly half (51%) say their partner is often or sometimes distracted by their cellphone while they are trying to have a conversation with them, and four-in-ten say they are at least sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their mobile device.

Partnered adults under the age of 50 are particularly likely to express the feeling that their partner is distracted by their phone, with those ages 30 to 49 most likely to report this. Fully 62% of 30- to 49-year-olds and 52% of 18-to 29-year-olds who are in a romantic relationship say their partner is at least sometimes distracted by their phone when they’re trying to talk them. Still, this issue is not confined to younger age groups: 41% of partnered Americans ages 50 and older say they have encountered this in their relationship at least sometimes.

With phones being such a distraction, people might be tempted to look through their partner’s phone. However, there is widespread agreement among the public that digital snooping in couples is unacceptable. Seven-in-ten Americans – regardless of whether they are in a relationship – say it is rarely or never acceptable for someone to look through their partner’s cellphone without that person’s knowledge. Still, 34% of partnered adults say they have looked through their partner’s cellphone without that person’s knowledge, with women being more likely than men to say they have done this (42% vs. 25%).

For many adults, social media plays a role in the way they navigate and share information about their romantic relationships. Roughly eight-in-ten social media users (81%) report that they at least sometimes see others posting about their relationships, including 46% who say this happens often, but few say that seeing these posts affects how they feel about their own love life.

Moreover, social media has become a place where some users discuss relationships and investigate old ones. Roughly half of social media users (53%) say they have used these platforms to check up on someone they used to date or be in a relationship with, while 28% say they have used social media to share or discuss things about their relationship or dating life. For adult users under the age of 30, those shares who have used social media to checked-up on a former partner (70%) or posted about their own love life (48%) are even higher.

But social media can also be a source of annoyance and conflict for some couples. Among those whose partner uses social media, 23% say they have felt jealous or unsure of their relationship because of the way their current partner interacts with others on these sites, and this share rises to 34% among those ages 18 to 29.

Still, some users view these platforms as an important venue for showing love and affection. This is especially true for younger users who are partnered: 48% of 18- to 29-year-old social media users say social media is very or somewhat important for them in showing how much they care about their partner.

These are some of the main findings from a nationally representative survey of 4,860 U.S. adults conducted online Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, using Pew Research Center’s American Trend Panel.

Terminology

Several terms are used in this report to describe people’s current relationship status. This reference guide explains each term. Single is used to describe people who are not currently in a committed relationship but may be casually dating (31% of the sample). Single and looking refers to people who are not in a committed relationship (but may be casually dating) and are looking for dates or a relationship (15% of the sample). Casually dating refers to single people who are casually dating someone but are not in a committed relationship (4% of the sample). Partnered refers to adults who are married, cohabiting or in a committed relationship (69% of the sample). Cohabiting is used to describe people who currently live with their partner but are not married (11% of the sample). Committed relationship is used to describe people who are in a relationship but are not married or cohabiting (8% of the sample). Unmarried is used to refer to any adults who are not currently married – single, cohabiting or in a committed relationship (50% of the sample). This term is sometimes used in conjunction with the term “partnered” to refer to those who are cohabiting or in a committed relationship (for example, unmarried partnered adults constitute 19% of the sample).

40% of partnered adults say they are bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone

At the time of the survey, four-in-ten Americans who are married, living with a partner or who are in a committed relationship say they are often or sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone, including 12% who say they feel this way often. 1

In addition, 24% of partnered Americans report that they are at least sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on social media, while a somewhat smaller share (15%) say they feel this way about their partner playing video games.

There are certain groups who are more likely to express annoyance over their partner’s digital activities than others. Among partnered adults, women are more likely than men to say they are often bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone (16% vs. 8%) or playing video games (7% vs. 3%). 2

Beyond gender differences, people’s attitudes also vary by age. Some 18% of partnered adults ages 18 to 49 say they are often bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their phone, compared with 6% of those ages 50 and older. Younger adults in romantic relationships also are more likely than their older counterparts to say they are often bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on social media (11% vs. 4%) and playing video games (7% vs. 3%).

Roughly half of partnered people say their significant other is distracted by their phone at least sometimes when they try to talk to them

While relatively few Americans are familiar with the term “phubbing” – which is the practice of snubbing others in favor of their cellphones – notable shares say they have encountered that behavior in their romantic relationships.

When asked to reflect on their partner’s cellphone use, 51% of Americans in a romantic relationship say their partner is at least sometimes distracted by their cellphone when they are trying to have a conversation with them, including 16% who say their significant other is often distracted by their mobile device.

This pattern differs by age: Roughly six-in-ten partnered adults ages 30 to 49 say their significant other is at least sometimes distracted by their cellphone when they are trying to hold a conversation with them, compared with 52% of those ages 18 to 29 and even smaller shares for those ages 50 and older (41%). Among those in relationships, younger adults also are more likely than older adults to assert that their partner is often distracted by their phone when they are trying to have a discussion (20% vs. 10%).

Women who are in a relationship are more likely than men to say their partner is often distracted by their phone while they are trying to hold a conversation, but this gender difference is most pronounced among younger adults. Three-in-ten partnered women ages 18 to 29 say their significant other is often distracted by their phone while they are trying to hold a conversation, compared with 15% of men in this age group who say this.

About one-in-three partnered adults say they have looked through their current spouse or partner’s phone without their knowledge, but there’s strong public consensus this is unacceptable

Americans – regardless of whether they are in a relationship – were asked in the survey about their views about some issues related to technology and relationships. For example, they weighed in on the acceptability of looking through a significant other’s phone without that person’s knowledge. Seven-in-ten U.S. adults say it is rarely (28%) or never (42%) acceptable to look through a significant other’s cellphone without their knowledge. Smaller shares – about three-in-ten (29%) – view this behavior as at least sometimes acceptable.

Majorities across major demographic groups view these actions as unacceptable, but there are some Americans who are more accepting of this behavior than others.

Women are more likely than men to think it is at least sometimes acceptable for someone to look through their partner’s cellphone without their knowledge (35% vs. 24%). And about one-third of adults under the age of 65 (33%) view this as acceptable, compared with 16% of those 65 and older.

Americans’ views on the acceptability of looking through a partner’s phone varies by current relationship status. Americans who are married or cohabiting are more likely than those who are single or in a committed relationship to say that looking through a significant other’s phone without that person’s knowledge is sometimes or always acceptable.

Despite the overall public uneasiness with this type of digital snooping, there are some Americans who report that they have looked through their significant other’s phone without that person’s knowledge. Roughly one-third of partnered adults (34%) say they have done this, but there are substantial differences by gender, age and relationship status when it comes to looking through a significant other’s phone.

Among adults who are partnered, women are far more likely than men to report that they have looked through their current partner’s phone without that person’s knowledge (42% vs. 25%). And while 52% of partnered adults ages 18 to 29 say they have done this, those shares are 41% among those ages 30 to 49, 29% among those ages 50 to 64 and 13% among those 65 and older.

These actions also vary by the type of relationship. Roughly four-in-ten Americans (41%) who are living with a partner report that they have looked through their current partner’s phone without that person’s knowledge, compared with 27% of those who are in committed relationship and 34% of those who are married. However, this pattern is largely due age differences in relationship status, as twice as many adults under 50 live with a partner than do those 50 and older. While 48% cohabiters under 50 report having gone through their partner’s phone without that person’s knowledge, only 18% of cohabiters ages 50 and older say the same.

There also are some differences by race and ethnicity. About half of Hispanic adults who are in a relationship say they have looked through their partner’s phone, compared with a third among their black or white counterparts.

Those in partnered relationships also are more likely to look through their partner’s cellphone without that person’s knowledge if they think it is acceptable to do so (61% say they have done this). Smaller shares of partnered adults who deem this unacceptable say they have personally gone through their current partner’s phone – though still about one-in-five say they have done this.

It is fairly common for partners to share the password or passcode to their cellphone

Overall, sharing passwords to digital devices or accounts is a fairly common practice in romantic relationships. In the October 2019 survey, a majority of Americans who are married, cohabiting or in a committed relationship say they have given their spouse or partner the password for their cellphone (75%), their email account (62%) or any of their social media accounts (42%). 3

Still, experiences do vary depending on the type of relationship partnered people have. Married or cohabiting adults are much more likely to share their cellphone or social media passwords with their partner than those who are in a committed relationship but are not living with their partner. Roughly three-quarters or more of married adults (79%) or those who live with a partner (74%) say they have given their partner the password to their cellphone, compared with 58% of those who are in a committed relationship. A similar pattern is present among partnered social media users when they are asked about whether they have shared their login information for any of their social media accounts. When it comes to email password sharing, married adults are the most likely group to say they have given their email password to their partner: 70% say this, compared with 50% of cohabiting internet users and just 22% of those in a committed relationship.

There also are some differences by age. Among partnered adults, those ages 18 to 49 are more likely than those ages 50 and older to say they have given their cellphone password to their spouse or partner (81% vs. 69%). On the other hand, older adults are more likely than younger adults to say they have shared their email password with their significant other (70% vs. 59%).

Most social media users see other people post about their relationship or dating life, but relatively few say these posts affect how they feel about their own relationship

This survey conducted last fall also examined how social media might be affecting the way people think about their own love lives. More specifically, does seeing relationship posts on social media affect the way people think about their own relationships?

Overall, eight-in-ten social media users see others post about their relationship on social media often or sometimes. This differs by both age and gender. Women are slightly more likely than men to see these posts (84% vs. 77%). In addition, 90% of social media users ages 18 to 49 say they see these types of post at least sometimes, compared with 68% of those ages 50 and older.

A majority of social media users who are in a relationship (81%) say they see posts about other people’s relationships when using social media. Among these partnered social media users, 78% of those who are married say they at least sometimes see posts about other people’s relationships, compared with 89% of those who are living with partner and 86% of those in a committed relationship.

Overall, seeing these posts appears to have little effect on how people view their own romantic relationships. A large majority of partnered adults (81%) who at least sometimes see posts about other people’s relationships say that these posts have not made much of difference in how they feel about their own relationship. On the other hand, relatively few say these posts make them feel better (9%) or worse (9%) about their relationship.

When it comes to social media users who are single and looking, 87% see other people making posts about their relationships on social media platforms at least sometimes. Social media users who are single and not looking for a relationship or dates are less likely to report seeing these types of posts at least sometimes (78%).

A third of the social media users who are single and looking and who say they see others’ posts about their love life say that seeing these posts makes them feel worse. This compares with 62% who report that such posts by others do not make much of a difference in how they feel about their own dating life. Just 4% say it makes them feel better.

These relationship-focused posts tend to have a bigger impact on women than men. Among social media users who are single and looking, women who see relationships posts at least sometimes are more likely to report that seeing these posts on social media makes them feel worse about their dating lives than are their male counterparts (40% vs. 28%).

About three-in-ten social media users say they have discussed their love life on social media

While it is fairly common for social media users to come across other people posting things about their love lives, only a minority of Americans who use these platforms (28%) say they have ever shared or discussed things about their relationship or dating life. About four-in-ten adults who are living with their partner (39%) and nearly half of those in a committed relationship (48%) but not living together say they have ever posted about their relationship on social media. Conversely, married and single adults are the least likely to post about their love lives (24% and 26%, respectively).

About four-in-ten social media users who are either Hispanic or lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB) say they have ever posted about their dating life or relationship on social media, while around one-quarter of white, black and straight social media users say the same.

Younger social media users also are more likely to have posted about their love lives on social media previously. While about half of social media users ages 18 to 29 have ever posted on social media about their dating life or relationship, a third of 30- to 49-year-olds say the same. By comparison, far fewer social media users ages 50 and older (11%) say they ever post about their relationship or dating life.

Roughly half of social media users have used these sites to check up on an ex-romantic partner

Using social media to check up on former romantic partners is a fairly common practice among social media users. About half of social media users (53%) say they have used these sites to check up on someone with whom they were in a relationship or whom they used to date.

Social media users ages 18 to 49 are far more likely than those ages 50 and older to report using social media to check up on an ex-romantic partner. Seven-in-ten 18- to 29-year-olds report that they have used these platforms to check up on someone they used to date or be in a relationship with. That share is lower – though still a majority – among users ages 30 to 49 and falls sharply among those ages and 50 and older.

There also are some notable differences, depending on a person’s relationship status. About two-thirds each of social media users who are cohabiting or in a committed relationship say they have used social media to check up on someone they used to date. Meanwhile, 56% of single people, and even fewer married people (45%), say the same. In addition, social media users who have a high school degree or less education are less likely to report that they have used to social media to check up on an ex-romantic partner than those with a bachelor’s or advanced degree or who have some college experience.

Younger Americans in relationships are especially likely to view social media as having an important role in connecting and keeping up with their partner

Overall, about three-in-ten partnered adults who use social media say that these sites are at least somewhat important in showing how much they care about their partner (33%) or keeping up with what is going on in their partner’s life (28%). But the level of importance that these users place on social media varies substantially by age. Among partnered social media users, 48% of 18- to 29-year-olds say these platforms are very or somewhat important in how they show how much they care about their partner, compared with 28% of those ages 30 and older who say this.

There also are age differences when it comes to the importance social media users place on these platforms for keeping up with their significant other’s life. About four-in-ten partnered users ages 18 to 29 say social media is somewhat or very important when it comes to keeping up with what’s going on in their partner’s life, compared with 29% of those ages 30 to 49 and only 17% of those ages 50 and older.

Married social media users are more likely than those who are cohabiting or in a committed relationship to say they do not see social media as important for keeping up with what’s going on in their partner’s life or for showing how much they care about their partner.

The level of importance that partnered adults place on social media also varies by race and ethnicity as well as by sexual orientation. Nonwhite social media users are more likely than white users to say these platforms are a very or somewhat important for keeping up with their partner’s life and showing how much they care. 4 Among partnered social media users, LGB adults are more likely than those who are straight to say social media is at least somewhat important for keeping up with their partner’s life or showing how much they care.

Even when controlling for age, racial and ethnic differences persist when it comes to the likelihood of saying social media is a personally important way to keep up with one’s partner or show how much they care. Similarly, marital status and sexual orientation are significant predictors of how important it is for people to use social media to keep up with one’s partner, even after controlling for age differences.

Social media can be a source of jealousy and uncertainty in relationships – especially for younger adults

Even as younger Americans value social media as a place to share how much they care about their partner or to keep up with what’s going on in their partner’s life, they also acknowledge some of the downsides that these sites can have on relationships.

Overall, 23% of partnered adults whose significant other uses social media say they have felt jealous or unsure about their relationship because of the way their current spouse or partner interacts with other people on social media. But this share is even higher among those in younger age groups.

Among partnered adults whose significant other uses social media, 34% of 18- to 29-year-olds and 26% of those ages 30 to 49 say they have felt jealous or unsure in their current relationship because of how their partner interacted with others on social media, compared with 19% of those ages 50 to 64 who say this and 4% of those ages 65 and up. Nearly four-in-ten unmarried adults with partners who are social media users (37%) say they have felt this way about their current partner, while only 17% of married people say the same.

Women also are more likely to express displeasure with how their significant other interacts with others on social media. Women who say their partner uses social media are more likely than men to say they have felt jealous or unsure of their relationships because of how their partner interacts with others on social media (29% vs. 17%).

Among those whose partner uses social media, about three-in-ten nonwhite adults who are in a relationship report having felt jealous or uncertain in their current relationship based on their partner’s social media interactions, compared with 19% of white adults who say the same. About one-third of LGB partnered adults whose significant other uses social media report that they have felt jealous or unsure in their current relationship because of how their partner interacted with others on social media, while 22% of straight people say this. College graduates are less likely to report having felt this way than those with some college experience or a high school degree or less.

• These items were only asked among those whose partner uses these digital technologies, but are presented here among all partnered adults. This group does include portions of those who say their partner does not own a cellphone (4%), use social media (27%) or play videos games (47%). Please read the Methodology section for full details on how these questions were asked. ↩
• Prior research from 2019 shows that the majority of both men (84%) and women (79%) in the U.S. report owning a smartphone . In addition, about three-in-ten U.S. adults say they are online almost constantly , and this does not differ by gender. Prior work in 2018 found that men under 50 are more likely than women under 50 to report playing video games at least sometimes. ↩
• These items were only asked among those who use these digital technologies, but are presented here among all partnered adults. This group does include portions of those who say they do not use the internet or use social media. Please read the Methodology for full details on how these questions were asked. ↩
• Nonwhite includes those who identify as black, Asian, Hispanic, some other race or multiple races; these groups could not be analyzed separately due to sample size limitations. ↩

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When In Manila Search

Look: hs student gifts girlfriend a “thesis” of their relationship for 3rd anniversary.

Couples tend to come up with different ways of showing affection and love for their significant others. Oftentimes, when they hit milestones in their relationships, they tend to go all out, or go beyond the extra mile. For this case, a high school student from Santiago City, Paolo Lumanlan, surprised his girlfriend a thesis of about their relationship as an anniversary present, to which he entitled, “Observation and In-depth Analysis of the Effects of Natural and Phenomenal Factors to Two Body Systems and their Co-independent Properties”.  Yes, complete with background, review of related literature, graphs, references, etc!

The recipient, 18-year-old Shaira Daludado, took it to her Twitter account her significant other’s sweet gesture.

Daludado shares to WHENINMANILA.COM that she and Lumanlan have been together since the 9th grade. Both of them hail from Isabela, and are current students of Philippine Science High School – Cagayan Valley Campus.

She describes her relationship with Lumanlan as “young love”.

“Last December 15 was our last day in school this year. He handed me out this envelope with a folder in it. It was our Christmas party yesterday and our anniversary is really today, (December 17), but we had to celebrate yesterday since we both had to go home.

Of course, I was super surprised and amazed nung nakita ko yung research paper.

But, it wasn’t the first time kasi that Paolo did such a creative and major thing.”

How did Daludado initially react to Lumanlan’s gift?

“I was expecting to see a research paper on relatostatics, some word he invented and a theorem he was trying to prove. He told me he was working on a topic since he leisurely wonders so much about almost everything. He further explained that he was trying to measure how introverted and extroverted a person is, and he wanted to interview me as part of this.

Of course, I did not hesitate, since he was so enthusiastic about it. The least I could do was to support him with whatever he does!  So yeah, when he handed out that envelope, I kind of assumed na he was going to put me in his acknowledgments or something. I was surprised to have seen my name on the ‘Presented to’ part! Syempre, kilig factor was there, super naiihi ako and I really wanted to hug him.

However, we were still on school grounds, and we had rules there. So I just thanked him and handed him his present in return.

As for our gifts, we really try to be creative as much as possible. I gave him two notebooks full of “Open When” series during our first anniversary, and for our second, I had this crazy idea of giving him a jar of nothing since he told me he didn’t want anything else. I also write a lot and am actually a part of our school paper, so it was not new for him to randomly receive love letters and poems from me. However, this year, I saved just enough money from my allowance to buy him a new pair of rubber shoes!”

Aren’t they the sweetest? Stay strong, lovebirds!

What do you think of this story? Let us know in the comments below!

Disclaimer: WheninManila.com does not own these photos. Credits go to Shaira Daludado. You may view the original tweet here .

About The Author

Ysabel is WheninManila.com's former Desk Editor who has an eye for people, places and the stories they tell. She's currently taking her Masters at the University of the Arts - London, majoring in Arts and Lifestyle Journalism. #TravelWithYsabel everywhere here .

Advertisement

• Gifts for grown-ups

The 34 Best Gifts for Girlfriends (That Are Great for Anyone)

By Dorie Chevlen and Samantha Schoech

Whether the person you’re shopping for is an established bae or a BFF, a long-distance lover or a live-in partner, it can be uniquely challenging to find a gift that expresses the right level of intimacy within an appropriate budget. So we’ve gathered the very best stuff from our staff’s testing and our own favorite things—ranging from silly to sweet to serious—to ensure there’s something here to delight your girlfriend (or any other special someone).

Sexy undies

Hanky Panky Signature Lace Boyshort

These pricey undies are durable, and they come in dozens of colors and a wide range of sizes. Even though the lace fabric is comfy and stretchy, it’s not buttery-soft.

Buying Options

Hanky Panky Signature Lace Boyshort Plus Size

The holy grail of undergarments is finding panties that are both sexy and comfortable. Skip the racy lingerie, and get her something she can actually wear. These lacy yet generous boy shorts made our guide to the best women’s underwear because of their smart, slightly curvy cut, the stretchy, comfy lace, and the no-dig waistband. The Hanky Panky Signature Lace Boyshort is available in sizes XXS to 3X and comes in more than a dozen colors.

Shiny socks

Maria La Rosa Laminated One Socks

For lovers of shiny things, these special-occasion-only metallic socks are the perfect splurge.

We fully admit that $50 socks that have to be hand-washed and hung to dry are not for everyone. But if your girlfriend is anything like staff writer Samantha Schoech or supervising editor Hannah Morrill, she will fall hard for these metallic beauties from Italian designer Maria La Rosa. They are more blingy accessory than workhorse garment, and they look great peaking over the top of a white sneaker, out from under a hem, or in a strappy heel. When she puts them on for the first time, the metallic finish will “crack” to reveal the ribbing in the silk-blend sock. The shiny finish will eventually fade with washing, which is why we recommend them for dress-up only, so she can air them out rather than washing between wears.

Rugged socks

Darn Tough Light Hiker Micro Crew Lightweight Hiking Sock (women’s)

The socks offer the best mix of comfort, durability, and cushioning in a versatile height.

For the more practical sock connoisseur, try this comfy wool pair. Our outdoors team put hiking socks through more than 160 miles of testing (that’s what they call hiking), and these highly breathable merino wool, nylon, and Lycra Darn Tough Light Hiker Socks were our top pick. The socks’ fabric and weight keep feet from feeling sweaty during summer hikes, but they also keep toes nice and snug when it cools down. The form-fitted toe and underfoot padding make these socks especially comfortable. And while they are among the most durable you can buy, the lifetime warranty will save her in a pinch: She can send back worn-out socks at any time, and the company will replace them for free.

Fancy glasses

Estelle Colored Glass Champagne Flutes

Hand-blown in Poland, these jewel-toned flutes are available in a dozen hues. They are a celebratory, whimsical splurge.

There’s something about fancy glasses that makes drinking Champagne even more fun. These handblown, Estelle Champagne Flutes come in an array of jewel-like tones. And if your sweetheart loves the pair, she can build her colorful collection over time (Estelle makes all sorts of vibrant glassware , if she becomes a super-fan). As for what to put in them, senior staff writer Lesley Stockton suggests Pol Roger Brut and Billecart-Salmon Blanc de Blancs Grand Cru as go-to special-occasion bottles.

Stuff stashers

Baggu Go Pouch Set

This set contains three different-sized recycled nylon pouches in bright patterns. They’re machine-washable and unlined.

Anyone’s life can be improved with the addition of pouches. They are great for traveling, organizing bags and purses (staff writer Samantha Schoech tames her carryall with separate makeup, work, and health pouches), and as standalone clutches. This set of three in the Baggu Go Pouch Set is made of vibrant, machine-washable recycled nylon. With zipper closures and hanging loops, these three pouches are useful for stashing everything from sneakers to bobby pins.

Subtle sparkle

GLDN Maia Gemstone Necklace

This delicate, adjustable cable chain—made from 14-karat gold-filled brass or sterling silver—holds an inch of tiny semi-precious beads in 15 different options.

This delicate GLDN Gemstone Necklace can be added to an existing stack or worn alone for just the tiniest bit of shine. It comes in quality 14-karat gold fill or sterling silver with a 1-inch row of 12 little gemstone beads. While not all birthstones are represented here (no April diamonds, for example), there are 15 different precious and semi-precious stones to choose from, plus three chain lengths.

Premium perfume

D.S. & Durga Greatest Hits Vol. 1

This six-pack of tiny atomizers contains the most popular perfumes from an excellent, eclectic perfumery.

If your girlfriend adores scents and is always on the prowl for a new olfactory experience, you can’t do better than the cigarette-box six-pack of atomizers from D.S. & Durga . The perfumery, founded in Brooklyn in 2008, offers great packaging and cheeky scent names—like “Cowboy Grass” and “I Don’t Know What.” Each and every one of its scents is layered, unique, and evocative, and this best-sellers selection is a wonderful place to start your girlfriend’s scent journey.

Automic Gold Wave Ring

A delicate wave band is hand-forged in New York City from 100% recycled golds.

If you’re not quite ready to give her that ring, but you still want to get her a little something, consider the delicate Automic Gold Wave Ring . Each one is unique, with its own undulating line and a thickness that varies from 1 to 3 millimeters. This ring’s neutral design could serve a range of tastes, which is especially handy if you’re still getting to know someone. Available in yellow, white, rose, and champagne gold, all pieces from Automic are fashioned from recycled jewelry and electronics in New York City. You will need to know her ring size, so if you don’t want to ruin the surprise by asking her, we also like the earrings and bracelets in the wave motif.

An everyday dress

Silkandmore Cotton Kaftan

Don’t let the chaotic Etsy page deter you. This lightweight kaftan—with its generous cut and wide array of available prints and colors—suits almost every body type and style preference.

Lightweight, airy, and available in countless patterns, this simple kaftan is made from a single rectangle of fabric, with a reinforced V-neck, a cinch-tie waist, and side slits. This enormously comfortable and versatile frock can be worn as a beach coverup, a house dress, a nightgown, and even a sundress. Staff writer Samantha Schoech has three, and they are pretty much all she ever wants to wear.

A pretty vase set

Glasseam Clear Glass Bud Vases

Elevate a stray bloom or blossom with the help of these fluted borosilicate glass vases.

These clear borosilicate glass vases are so much prettier than their price and utilitarian Amazon page would suggest. They range from about 3.5 to 6 inches high, so they’re perfect for holding single stems or small posies. We like them placed down the length of a dining table or in a cluster on a shelf. They also come in colored glass , if your paramour has a funkier vibe.

For weekends away

Everlane The ReNew Transit Backpack

A sleek design and utilitarian features, such as a luggage pass-through and a magnetic top closure, make this sophisticated bag feel pricier than it is. But it isn’t backed by a warranty.

An everyday backpack with sleek lines, no dangling straps, and plenty of handy pockets (including an exterior 15-inch laptop pocket) is a girlfriend’s best friend, and this model is one of our picks . Sophisticated enough for the office and rugged enough for daily lugging around, this 100% recycled-nylon pack is especially lightweight and has padded, subtly contoured straps that are easy to adjust. Everlane’s The ReNew Transit Backpack comes in five different muted earth tones, though sadly it’s no longer available in pink.

An anywhere blanket

Rumpl Original Puffy Blanket

This puffy outdoor blanket offers the greatest warmth and durability for the lowest relative weight, price, and size.

May be out of stock

A puffy camping blanket would be perfect for all of your girl’s outdoor-coziness needs—whether she’s at a stadium or lying under the stars with you. The Rumpl Original Puffy Blanket is our pick . It’s a little stiffer than the more-luxurious Rumple Down Puffy Blanket, but it’s also about a third of the price. The 100% recycled nylon shell is densely knit yet breathable and quick-drying. And the Original resists stains and is completely machine-washable. It also rolls up, sleeping-bag-style, and comes in a range of great prints.

This suction vibrator provides diffuse, customizable sensations, and it comes in a small, convenient size.

This vibrator sucks to simulate oral stimulation and pulses for extra sensation, and we’re sure your girlfriend will be a fan. It’s one of our picks because it’s effective and small, it holds a charge well, and it’s a cinch to clean. The Dame Air has five intensity settings (which can be easily clicked through), and it’s waterproof. Our testers found this vibrator to be gentle, diffuse, and even “cloud-like.”

Thorny earrings

Thicket Blackberry Thorn Studs

Handmade in Portland, Maine, these tiny studs are cast from the molds of real blackberry thorns.

These tiny blackberry thorn earrings are a little bit rock ’n’ roll and a little bit hug-a-tree. Cast from the thorns of Rubus argutus , in recycled sterling silver or 14-karat yellow gold, these earrings are remarkably realistic (though not quite as pokey as the real thing). The studs are sold as singles or in pairs, each one hand-forged using traditional metalworking techniques. As such, delivery can take up to three weeks.

A new hobby

Purl Soho Learn To Knit Kit

With its high-end yarn, beautifully designed instructions (with online tutorials), and three-dozen color choices, this kit offers an especially giftable (though pricey) beginner knitting experience.

If your girlfriend is looking for something to do with her hands (besides scrolling), we’ve got a beautiful option. These chic knitting kits come with two skeins of soft merino wool yarn (choose from 36 different colors), a step-by-step instructions booklet (with patterns for three different scarves), wooden knitting needles, and a tapestry needle. Purl Soho’s site also offers dozens of helpful instructional videos for free . If all goes well, this could be the gift that keeps on giving, in the form of cozy creations for years to come.

Sheer luxury

Negative Sieve Non-Wire Bra

Sexy yet understated, this wire-free bra is made of a fine, nipple-baring mesh that’s soft and stretchy. It provides only light support, but it does have an adjustable band and straps to customize your fit.

If your girl is in the market for a sexy, sheer bralette, you won’t find a better option than the Negative Sieve Non-Wire Bra , a top pick in our bra guide . It’s generally best for those with smaller breasts, since it doesn’t offer much support. But for the right body, this bra provides a lovely low-key fit, and it comes in a range of both neutral colors and poppy, limited-edition shades (like the red above). The ribbon straps don’t dig, and the delicate, slightly stretchy mesh is quite comfortable (not scratchy) against the skin. If your sweetheart has larger breasts, check out the CUUP’s Balconette mesh bra, a sexy little number with more support.

Blue-light blockers

Tijn Blue Light Blocking Glasses

These budget-friendly glasses come in a variety of colors, so they’re fun for those who like to play around with their look.

After extensive research, our team found that even though some of the claims surrounding blue-light-blocking-glasses are murky, most experts agreed that wearing a pair before bed may help you fall and stay asleep. (Research shows that blue light from devices can disrupt the sleep-wake cycle.) If your girlfriend struggles to sleep deeply after a day in the digital mines—or you think she’d like the glasses as a fashion accessory—we suggest the TIJN Blue Light Blocking Glasses , some of our favorites from testing . The nerdy-cool frames are cheap and sturdy, and they come in more than a dozen colors, any of which would look adorable on her.

Skin smoothing

Kate McLeod Daily Stone Solid Moisturizer

This solid moisturizer bar ushers in super-soft skin. It’s a little pricey, however.

Supervising editor Daniela Gorny first turned us onto this solid moisturizer bar, and many staffers have since indulged. Rather than pump a bottle of single-use plastic, you warm the orb—made of cocoa butter and blended oils—between your hands before gliding it head to toe. It’s particularly nice for full-body hydration after a shower or to quench craggy hands and cuticles throughout the day. And it comes in a beautiful, glide-top bamboo canister. Refills are nearly $40 , which may sound pricey. But we’re guessing your girlfriend will fall as hard as we did for this luxurious little bar’s subtle rose, frankincense, and neroli scent, as well as for its non-greasy, sustainable moisture.

A mystic candle

Birthdate Candles

These candles have a scent profile for every birthday, along with a label describing the astrological traits of people born on that date.

If your girlfriend loves astrology, she’ll appreciate a hand-poured Birthdate Candle , which comes with a personalized scent and character reading based on the day she was born. For staff writer Dorie Chevlen, a Scorpio, the candle has a woodsy, floral smell, with a mahogany and musk base, a top note of bergamot and plum, and just a touch of cinnamon. According to the candle, this complexity reflects the “imaginative, passionate, intense souls born on November 2.” (She thought that all sounded spot-on.) The staffers who’ve bought these candles report that they burn cleanly and smell amazing. And even if your girlfriend isn’t that into astrology, she’ll likely just be impressed that you remembered when she was born.

An accessory all her own

Gldn Basquiat Bar Bracelet

This streamlined bracelet has a minimalist silhouette and comes in a range of finishes. So it accommodates varying personal tastes while still being classic.

Whether your girlfriend has an understated jewelry style or likes to stack bold baubles from her wrist to her elbow, this sleek engraved bar bracelet from Gldn will beautifully complement any look. Customize it with the cute nickname you gave her, or keep it simple with her initials or birth date. Pay attention to the jewelry she wears regularly to help gauge what metal she might like best: The bracelet comes in 14-karat gold fill, rose gold fill, sterling silver, or 14-karat solid gold, plus two finishes (hammered or smooth). If you’re stumped on the style, don’t worry. Mixing metals is incredibly chic, so even your gold lover can don a little silver and still look fabulous.

A custom care package

Boxfox Care Package

This care-package service offers hundreds of fancy, well-curated items (making it easy to get caught up on time). But pay attention because the cost can add up quickly.

If you want to give your gal a beautiful medley of items, but you don’t have the skills or the time to scour stores and sites to select things on your own, a care-package service like BoxFox will help you find a marvelous mélange, fast. Among all of the care packages we tested , we thought BoxFox offered the most luxurious versions of gifting staples: gourmet treats from Sugarfina and chocolate from Compartés (rather than drug-store treats); chic calendars and notebooks from Rifle Paper Co. and Poketo (versus standard stationery). On BoxFox’s straightforward site, you can choose from premade boxes (like the “Birthday” box, pictured above) or build your own (currently starting at about $35 for a simple set including a candle, a chocolate, and a few skin-care items). Choose from hundreds of carefully curated items organized by color, occasion, or price, so you won’t drown in an otherwise overwhelming sea of linens, sweets, and soaps.

Better (hair) days ahead

Chunks Small Mini Claw Clips

These style-conscious claw clips are designed by a woman-owned company in Seattle, made ethically in China, and have been Climate Neutral Certified since 2022.

Chunks Medium Claw Clips

Chunks Large Claw Clips

Whether your girlfriend is looking to do more or less with her strands, she’ll love a hair clip from Chunks, a woman-owned, Seattle-based company. Sizes range from a teensy, 1-inch version to a powerful, 5.75-inch clip, so there is something for every length and texture. (And you can consult this handy size chart .) More impressive, though, are the prints and patterns, which go way beyond the standard tortoise shell—these clips come adorned with checkers , sprinkles , swirls , swoops , and stripes , all in a durable cellulose acetate. The smaller clips look cute layered at the temples or tucked into a braid, and the larger ones can create an easy French twist or a whimsical ponytail. Get more ideas on Chunks’ Instagram page , where founder Tiffany Ju models clips and offers advice on which hair types they best suit.

Flower power

RF Mesh Porcelain Shorts

These mesh athletic shorts are pretty and come in a traditional toile pattern—and a huge array of sizes.

Your girlfriend doesn’t have to be a basketball star to appreciate the swishy, breathable luxury of a flawless pair of mesh shorts —especially if they’re covered in pretty blue-and-white botanicals. Sewn to order in Kansas, these toile-patterned shorts come in sizes small to 5XL, with roomy pockets and a 5- or 7-inch inseam (the former falls mid-thigh while the latter just above the knee). Both will be a slam dunk, however she styles them.

Slinky pajamas

Lunya Washable Silk Tulip Back Set

These soft, lighweight, 100% mulberry silk PJs are as close to wearing a tropical breeze to bed as you can get.

Residing happily in the space between loungy pajamas and sexy negligee, this silk pajama set from Lunya is a pleasure to wear and to launder. And it has a more youthful silhouette than some of the picks in our pajamas guide (though all of those are, of course, excellent). Unlike most silk sets, this one is entirely washable. So these PJs can be an everyday indulgence, rather than something she puts on only to take off (though they also work well for that). The sporty racerback is flattering on a range of bodies, but we’ve found that the abbreviated crop top is definitely best for those who are comfortable exposing their midriff. The set comes in sizes XS through 2XL and in six elegant colors.

Cuddly cashmere

La Ligne Mini Toujours Sweater

This chunky sweater has a pleasing, subtle dropped shoulder and cropped cut, making it a stylish standout from a typical V-neck or crew-neck sweater.

If she’s perennially stealing your sweaters, it’s high time she had one of her own. A favorite from our cashmere sweaters guide , this slightly cropped, dropped-shoulder design by La Ligne is made from a heavy knit that feels extra-warm. The sweater comes in sizes XS through 3XL and in 11 elegant colors, from deep navy to a soft cream to cheery periwinkle. There’s no doubt this gift is a splurge, but with the right care— our guide offers helpful advice—this is a gift she will treasure forever.

Make mine a matcha

Ippodo Tea Essential Matcha Kit

This pretty matcha-making set from Japan has everything you need to make traditional brews and more-modern concoctions, like matcha lattes.

If your favorite gal favors the mellow invigoration of a matcha over a jittery coffee buzz, she’ll likely appreciate this elegant make-your-own matcha kit from Ippodo Tea, a famous tea shop in Kyoto, Japan. Each individual piece is intentional and a joy to use—from the cream-colored bowl to the lipped strainer that hitches effortlessly onto the bowl’s edge. The kit also comes with a whisk fashioned from a single piece of bamboo, a hollow stand for that whisk (to prevent molding), a tiny ladle, and 20 grams of Horai matcha (a variety that our kitchen team found lovely and grassy). The set, which ships for free, also comes with a helpful booklet that includes instructions for crafting all sorts of matcha brews, like lattes and iced.

A rainbow maker

Kikkerland Solar-Powered Rainbow Maker

Suction this simple little machine to a sunny window, and the mini solar panel will spin the crystal, sending twinkling rainbows throughout the room.

Anyone would appreciate a little magic in the home—especially when it involves crystals! Look no further than this light catcher , which affixes to the window via a surprisingly reliable suction cup. The sun warms the solar battery, and the dangling prism rotates and refracts rays, transforming a casual weekday into an impromptu discotheque. As much as the dancing rainbows delight humans, they also delight cats: If this all becomes too much of a distraction for either, you can easily slide the light catcher off the window. To see for yourself what this rainbow maker brings to a space, check out this video .

A build-your-own bouquet

Lego Flower Bouquet 10280

This Lego bouquet kit has 756 pieces and 15 individual stems, to build and style in your own vase.

Some people may find the transient nature of bouquets to be rather maddening—why waste the money on something doomed to wither in a vase? (If your partner doesn’t feel that way, we do recommend a few excellent flower-delivery companies ). For something more interactive and longer-lasting, consider a Lego Flower Bouquet . Present the intricate, 756-piece set fully assembled, or give her the pleasure of bringing 15 stems of plasticine roses, daisies, and asters to “life.” Once built, the bouquet stands 14 inches tall, just like a regular posy. And though it won’t require any water or sun, regular dusting would be welcome.

W&P The Popper

This silicone bowl is incredibly simple to use and easy to clean, and it folds down for more-efficient storage. However, it makes only 9 cups of popcorn at a time, and it leaves quite a few kernels unpopped.

Wirecutter staffers firmly believe there’s no wrong way to enjoy popcorn . But if your paramour has been microwaving unimaginative bags of the prefab variety, a dedicated popcorn bowl will be an ebullient upgrade. A favorite among the popping methods we’ve tried, this silicone bowl is dishwasher-safe and BPA-free. It collapses to about 2 inches (for easy storage) and pops up a fluffy bowl in about two minutes (adding oil is optional). Package this bowl alongside a bag of kernels and novel seasoning , and at least the snacking portion of movie night will be settled. Agreeing on something to watch, well, that’s your business.

An adorable bento

Takenaka Bento Bite Dual

You can pack multiple meal components into this chic, stackable bento, which comes with a plastic divider and a small fork. It’s not leakproof, though, so it’s best for solid foods.

With nearly a dozen dreamy pastel tones to choose from and a pleasingly rounded shape, the Takenaka Bento Bite Dual is delightful to look at and to eat from. Each squat little unit houses two tiers (with a removable divider) of microwave- and dishwasher-safe compartments, for infinite snack-storage options. And it comes with a nestled fork, which doesn’t clatter around. Several years ago, my non-romantic girlfriend (my sister) gave me one stuffed with Korean candies, a presentation you are hereby encouraged to copy. I used to pack my bento full of veggies, crackers, hummus, cheese, and fruit for office lunches. Now it makes me smile as a tea organizer.

Comfortable slides

Birkenstock Arizona Essentials EVA

These reimagined classic slip-ons are made from a soft, lightweight type of elastic plastic that is totally machine-washable.

Though perhaps not the footwear one immediately thinks of for a romantic evening, Birkenstock’s Arizona Essentials EVA sandals are a great gift for the gal who loves comfort. Since they’re made of ethylene-vinyl acetate (hence the name), the EVAs are waterproof, extremely lightweight, and (gasp!) machine-washable. Accordingly, they are our favorite shoes to wear for hand-holding beach walks, bodega runs, and even casual days at the office. If your sweetie is a sartorial risk-taker, consider giving the slides with a pair of socks—to personalize the look and extend their wear through colder months.

A cute coffee maker

Bodum Caffettiera

This artsy press—popularized by Jørgen Bodum in the 1970s—produces a consistent pour for the price.

There’s no doubt your beloved coffee aficionado will enjoy the deep flavor brewed by one of our favorite French presses , the classic, Dutch-designed Bodum Caffettiera French Press . First, the carafe is highly functional: The press plunges readily, the handle is sturdily affixed, the spout doesn’t dribble. And second, the colorful offerings—from a punchy periwinkle to cheery yellow—will bring optimism to mornings and look high-spirited on a counter or shelf. Should your lover moonlight as a klutz, the company sells replacement parts.

Hands-free toting

Dagne Dover Ace Fanny Pack

This spacious neoprene pack blends fashion and function. Your girl can stash plenty of stuff—from a large wallet to a makeup kit and phone—and still have room to spare.

Handbags are great, some of the time. For all of those other times—like grocery-store runs, park picnics, or bike rides—a fanny pack is a convenient alternative. And the Dagne Dover Ace Fanny Pack is among our favorites. Its puffy build is fun yet stylish, and this fanny pack easily stashes all manner of loot, including (but not limited to) phone, sunglasses, wallet, keys, gum, pen, receipts, loyalty cards, and hand sanitizer. The pack sits comfortably over the hips or across the chest, and it comes in five understated colors.

A chic bike basket

Baba Tree Bicycle Basket (Small)

This cheery bicycle basket is handwoven in Ghana, and it has thick leather straps with brass buckles. It’s big enough to transport her takeout order.

If your gal is a serious biker, you should consider giving her a  serious bike rack . But for the casual cyclist who needs only to transport a phone, a baguette, and a wedge of Camembert, a handwoven bike basket makes a thoughtful gift. We particularly like these from Baba Tree . Craftspeople in Ghana weave each basket with locally sourced straw, so this gift is not only utilitarian but also an objet d’art. The basket secures to handlebars with two adjustable leather straps, and it’s a cinch to attach and take off. After toting mine for a year (and leaving it to weather along with my bike in a courtyard), the basket is still holding up—with just a little bit of fading.

We love finding gifts that are unusual, thoughtful, and well vetted. See even more gift ideas we recommend .

This article was edited by Hannah Morrill and Jennifer Hunter.

Meet your guides

Dorie Chevlen

Dorie Chevlen is a staff writer from Youngstown, Ohio, now living in Los Angeles. She has worked as a copy editor, fact checker, and sandwich maker, but this is probably her favorite gig. Beyond her Wirecutter work, Dorie writes screenplays and contributes frequently to other sections of The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The LA Review of Books, and Slate, among others. She has been called—both flatteringly and not—“a lot.”

Samantha Schoech

Except for the time she gave a boyfriend her mother’s old toaster for Christmas, staff writer Samantha Schoech has a reputation as an excellent gift giver. She lives in San Francisco with two teens, two cats, a geriatric betta fish, and a bookseller husband. Her first book of short stories, My Mother’s Boyfriends, is coming out in 2024.

Mentioned above

• A reliable pair of undies should be comfy, attractive, and well constructed. (Also: No bunching, pinching, or pulling, please!) We found five great options. The Best Women’s Underwear  
• After trekking 225 miles in 20 pairs of socks, we chose the men’s and women’s Darn Tough Light Hiker Micro Crew as the best hiking socks for most people. The Best Hiking Socks  
• Our top backpack picks for the 2024-2025 school year include a sporty-looking ergonomic pack, a bag that’s nostalgic and timeless, and a polished workhorse. The Best Backpacks for College and High School Students  
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• Whether you’re hunting for an everyday underwire bra, a comfy lounge bralette, or a minimizer that doesn’t suck, these seven bra picks have got you covered. The Best, Most Comfortable Bras  

Further reading

The 32 Absolute Best White Elephant Gifts Under $25

by Dorie Chevlen and Samantha Schoech

Quirky and quippy Wirecutter-approved gifts for laughs, not landfills.

The 33 Best Gifts for 5-Year-Olds

by Kelly Glass, Caitlin Giddings, and Wirecutter Staff

Gifts that tap into art, science, sports, or construction are often great choices for 5-year-olds, since many of them are developing personal interests.

The Best Christmas Gifts for Everyone on Your List

by Samantha Schoech

Kin and colleagues, kiddos and teens: Here are our favorite picks from our 2023 holiday gift guides, all in one place.

Putting Up a Christmas Tree Is Fast, Easy, and Secure With This Tree Stand We’ve Loved Since 2012

by Annemarie Conte

The Krinner Tree Genie XXL is the most secure tree stand we’ve tested, and it’s the only stand we found that one person can set up.

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• v.11(1); 2010 Jan

The science of online dating

Giovanni frazzetto.

1 BIOS Centre, London School of Economics, London, UK

Can the application of science to unravel the biological basis of love complement the traditional, romantic ideal of finding a soul mate?

As the saying goes, “love defies all calculation”. Yet, this apparently obvious assertion is challenged by the intrusion of science into matters of love, including the application of scientific analysis to modern forms of courtship. An increasing number of dating services boast about their use of biological research and genetic testing to better match prospective partners. Yet, while research continues to disentangle the complex factors that make humans fall in love, the application of this research remains dubious.

…while research continues to disentangle the complex factors that make humans fall in love, the application of this research remains dubious

With the rise of the internet and profound changes in contemporary lifestyles, online dating has gained enormous popularity among aspiring lovers of all ages. Long working hours, increasing mobility and the dissolution of traditional modes of socialization mean that people use chat rooms and professional dating services to find partners. Despite the current economic downturn, the online dating industry continues to flourish. With subscription prices between €20 and €30 per month, romance-seekers are turning away from the traditional—and often expensive—strategies of meeting people casually in bars and restaurants, and are instead opting for less spontaneous, but practical, cheap online services that allow them to find a soul mate from the comfort of their desk.

EasyDate.biz, one of the most popular websites that match people according to their hobbies, preferences and interests, has increased annual profits 30-fold since 2006 and has made around £6 million in revenues this year ( Espinoza, 2009 ). Large metropolitan cities boast the highest number of active online dating accounts, with New York totalling a greater number of subscriptions on Match.com than any other city in the USA—accounting for 8% of the company's active members ( Sherman, 2009 ).

Most dating services match subscribers based on metrics that include education and professional background, personal interests, hobbies, values, relationship skills and life goals. These websites use a range of personality tests and psychological assessments to build lists of traits that individuals seek in an ideal partner. Yet, in this modern era of personalized genomes and DNA-based crime fighting, the new generation of online dating services has added one more parameter: biology. “Love is no coincidence”, they proclaim, promising to provide longer-lasting matches based on the science of attraction and romantic love.

Indeed, biological anthropologists and neuroscientists are already dissecting the chemical ingredients of love, from the basic sex drive to romantic love, including the feeling of security that we achieve when we are attached to a specific mate for the long term ( Bartels & Zeki, 2000 ; 2004 ; Fisher et al , 2002 ; Zeki, 2007 ). Such studies aim to unravel both the genetic factors and the neural circuits that underlie love. So far, scientists have revealed that the relevant regions of the brain are mainly those involved in motivational and reward systems and are orchestrated by hormones and neurotransmitters ( Aaron et al , 2005 ). Love has accordingly been described as a chemical phenomenon and compared with a state of addiction ( Meloy & Fisher, 2005 ).

…the real question remains as to whether the use of genetics is proving more effective than traditional matching methods

“We fall in love with someone who has a different chemical profile for dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone that complements our own,” explained Helen Fisher, professor of anthropology at Rutgers University (New York, NY, USA) and chief scientific advisor to Chemistry.com. She created a test for the website—used by about eight million people to date—in which questions are designed to establish a range of basic information about brain and body chemistry associated with specific aspects of temperament and personality. For instance, measuring the ratio between the length of the index finger and the ring finger of the right hand, which is a marker for testosterone levels in the prenatal brain, is assumed to provide information about assertive, verbal, musical or analytical capabilities ( Wilson, 1983 ). Other questions determine a propensity to be curious or a tendency to seek novel experiences, supposedly based on dopamine levels in the brain.

Science-based dating services such as ScientificMatch.com or GenePartner.com promise lasting relationships on the basis of genetic information and match people based on differences between their imm-une systems. This approach draws on a study performed by Claus Wedekind and colleagues at the University of Bern in Switzerland, who asked female volunteers to smell T-shirts that had been worn by men for three consecutive days and to rank them by attractiveness ( Wedekind et al , 1995 ). It turned out that the majority of the women were attracted to men whose immune systems differed most from their own—fulfilling the maxim that ‘opposites attract'. What accounted for the immune system differences at the genetic level were sequences in the genes encod-ing the human leukocyte antigen (HLA).

HLA genes control the activation of the immune response and are crucial for acquiring immunity; the greater the variety in the HLA genes, the greater the variety and success of the immune response. From an evolutionary point of view, it makes sense that individuals with opposite varieties would attract each other as this would lead to offspring with a broader range of HLA genes.

The customers of online dating services seem to buy the ‘hard science' sell. “We are receiving requests from a lot of customers who wish to know whether they can test their genetic compatibility with other subscribers in the same area where they live,” commented Tamara Brown, chief scientific officer at GenePartner.com, a company affiliated with the Swiss Institute for Behavioural Genetics (Adliswil, Switzerland). “Right now, the number of established couples willing to know whether their compatibility is confirmed genetically equals the number of singles who ask us to match them with other subscribers in our database.” Brown emphasised that the company uses biological compatibility to complement social, psychological and intellectual information, which, she said, will continue to play an important role in the formation of lasting relationships.

Some of the claimed advantages of having genetically compatible partners are a more satisfying sex life, a higher fertility rate and healthier children. Members of the gay community have complained about their exclusion from these benefits. However, research is already underway to find specific pheromone-induced brain responses in both homosexual men and women ( Berglund et al , 2006 ; Savic et al , 2005 ).

Although sequencing DNA to find a soul mate might sound like a ludicrous application of genetics, investigating the genetic compatibility of couples is already routine practice for groups or populations that have a high risk of specific severe genetic diseases. For instance, genetic tests are available in many Mediterranean countries that have a high prevalence of β-thalassaemia, a heritable disease of the blood that affects the body's ability to produce haemoglobin. To avoid having a child afflicted with this disease, β-thalassaemia carrier detection is mandatory for couples in Iran and several other Arab countries and is required by the religious authorities in Cyprus ( Zlotogora, 2009 ). The couples have to be informed of the test results before their marriage, but the choice is theirs of whether or not to marry. Genetic screening is also common among Ashkenazi Jews, who have a higher risk of suffering from one of several monogenetic diseases such as cystic fibrosis, Tay–Sachs or Bloom syndrome. These screening programmes have reduced considerably the number of babies affected by these diseases ( Kronn et al , 1998 ).

There is a kind of irony in online dating in that courtship and romantic love are profoundly physical experiences that manifest with symptoms including sweaty palms, reddened cheeks or tied tongues; but internet dating, owing to its virtual nature, is utterly disembodying. For Eva Illouz, professor of sociology and anthropology at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, Israel, this rearticulates the relationship between corporeality and emotions: in the absence of the body, emotions are supposed to flow freely between authentic aspects of the core self ( Illouz, 2007 ). Knowledge of another person therefore precedes the bodily attraction.

Websites such as ScientificMatch.com or GenePartner.com would thus include a ‘physical' factor by making genetic information the starting point for finding a match. Illouz pointed out that although online platforms are supposed to give subscribers the chance to highlight their own uniqueness, their self-representation frequently follows established canons of ‘conformity, standardization and reification'. By contrast, genetic information on biological compatibility is not standardized and genuinely represents an individual's uniqueness.

The use of biological information seems to reassure customers that they will find a better match. Nevertheless, the real question remains as to whether the use of genetics is proving more effective than traditional matching methods. Indeed, there is a good deal of skepticism concerning the reliability of DNA-based dating services. For example, there is some debate about the extent to which HLA diversity is actually reflected in a person's scent, and therefore whether such differences can genuinely be picked up by the body's olfactory bulbs.

Deciphering the genetics and neurochemistry of love might, therefore, cast a disenchanting shadow over some cultural practices

“I think that matching people by personality types or interests may be very useful. However, I do not believe that any service that claims to use genetic information, or any estimation of neurochemistry (based on personality or genotype) has any basis in reality,” argued Larry J. Young, a principal investigator in the Laboratory of Social Neurobiology at Emory University (Atlanta, GA, USA). Young, who investigates the genetics and molecular mechanisms behind social attachment, pointed out that although we might be beginning to understand how some genes contribute to social relationships, or how certain neuropeptides or transmitters are involved in the formation of relationships in rodents, “the situation is far, far too complex to begin to think we can pick ‘the perfect match' based on this information. These companies are taking advantage of a public who have been educated by the media.”

Courtship, seduction and romantic love are complex phenomena that involve many genes and a multitude of social and cultural factors. Deciphering the genetics and neurochemistry of love might, therefore, cast a disenchanting shadow over some cultural practices. In this regard, a Shakespearean sonnet, or other works of classical romance might still prove more instructive and interesting for anyone desirous to understand the rules and excitement of courtship and love than would taking a genetic test.

Haunted by the inherent uncertainties of life, people are drawn to any service or person that promises to predict the future…

“You can know any single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake and still find it delicious. You can know every single part of an engine in a Bentley or a Ferrari, and still feel the rush and joy of driving it. The same applies to love,” Fisher said. “The more you know about the brain circuitry of romantic love, the more you can operate with innate natural wisdom to make better decisions.” She also suggested that finding the chemical or genetic basis for why love sometimes fails might well be more effective than spending years trying to decipher intangible psychoanalytical reasons. “The primordial ways by which men and women flirt and fall in love will just continue. A little bit of knowledge about the relevant brain mechanisms just refines this ancient process. So, I don't think that you can equate knowledge with lack of magic,” Fisher said.

More serious concerns have been raised about the possible misapplication of the growing knowledge of emotional chemistry to manipulate the brain and enhance or diminish emotions for others—in essence, the creation of love potions. The idea is not too far-fetched: experiments have shown that a squirt of the hormone oxytocin enhances trust in other people ( Kosfeld et al , 2005 ), and internet drugs sellers are already marketing products such as ‘Enhanced Liquid Trust', which claims to “boost the dating and relationship area of your life” ( www.verolabs.com ).

“I don't think that these kinds of science-based approaches are going to become any more popular than the many other approaches out there designed to find a match. People will always be selling the ‘new' way to find true love,” Young commented. “Regarding the manipulation of feelings with drugs, I am not sure how this will turn out in the public in the long term. We already try that by buying our prospective partners flowers, candy, romantic settings, hugging and kissing, all of which stimulate the chemistry of love, such as dopamine or oxytocin.”

More generally, the use of genetic knowledge and technology to predict intimate aspects of our lives confirms the persistence of naive biological determinism among the public. Indeed, it is the belief in the informative value of such tests that evokes the simplistic talk of a ‘gene for' a given human trait. In the case of finding the perfect mate, modern changes to contemporary lifestyles and social connectedness, as well as the difficulty of actually finding the right partner, mean that this simplistic view of the role of genes is driving would-be lovers to services that claim to offer science-based fixes.

But love is ambiguous, unpredictable and hardly respectful of laws

In addition to the potentially disenchanting effect of using science to prescribe romance, emotional compatibility and loving relationships, the increasing tendency to apply genetics to multiple areas of social interaction and behaviour raises more general issues about the growing encroachment of genetics and neuroscience into personal lives. The use of technologies that read whole genomes and profile brain activities in order to provide people with an assessment of their chances of finding love with a certain person might be a part of what sociologist Sir Anthony Giddens at the London School of Economics in the UK has called the ‘colonisation' of the future ( Giddens, 1991 ). Haunted by the inherent uncertainties of life, people are drawn to any service or person that promises to predict the future—from tarot cards to palm readers, and even to genetic tests. Perhaps it was therefore only a matter of time before biology became entangled in attempting to predict the budding of love and the outcome of relationships. But love is ambiguous, unpredictable and hardly respectful of laws. As the Roman poet Horace said to one of his lovers: “Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what final fate the gods have given to me and you, Leuconoe, and don't play with Babylonian horoscopes.”

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The Effects of Romantic Relationships on the Academic Performance of University of the Philippines – Cebu College Students ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Related Papers

Jedh Esterninos

ABSTRACT The study focused on the Academic Performance and the Married students. The researcher used the method of triangulation – Using Questionnaires, Focus group discussion, and Interviews. The objectives of the study are to present the level of academic performances of married students and their personalities. To determine the difficulties encountered by the married students and to identify strategies mechanized by the married students in accomplishing their studies. Using the data gathered, Answers from the questionnaires, suggestions and ideas from the respondents during the interviews. The researcher arrives at the findings, conclusion and recommendations of the study. To make this study fruitful and give benefits to the community specifically to the respondents – who are married students. The researcher recommends to the Local government, to the University, to the teachers, to the parents and to the students. The study also finds out some of the strategies of the married students in performing well in academic performance, give a tip on how the family time are balance, how their studies positively affect their children’s attitude towards education. And also the research inspires to give importance to pursuing the education. The research truly shows the current level of academic performance of the married students. The researcher also correlates the grades of Married students to their personality which results to low correlation, which makes the research interesting to finds out why. The researcher finds it out during the interviews – “That almost married students has a good personality and it is not affected by their grades or vice-versa, they just wanted to finish their study not worrying of getting high grades. But as the researcher finds out, some of them are excellent in academic performance. As the reader studies this research, They will discover it interesting and worth it to study this kind of research.

shiv juneja

Hypothesis-Being in a committed relationship in high school results in lower academic performance. Conceptualisation of Hypothesis: In today's world more than half of high school students have been in relationships and most of graduates too. Today people do prefer to form committed relationships later on in life and prioritise well, focusing on their education. However some do feel that they can be in a committed relationship and at the same time do their best in other spheres of life. We, are trying to prove that these people who are in committed relationships are not living upto their potential and would be better off without a relationship. Other tests in particular the one done by StudyMode shows that more than half of those children who have mobile phones in school text their partner during classes, a tenth email their partner and 41% even say that they've skipped class before to be with their significant other. All these facts are reinstating our belief that students get distracted by their significant others. Well in our minds a committed relationship is one where both partners are emotionally attached and have been emotionally invested in there significant other for over 2-3 months(includes before getting into the relationship). They depend on each other for stability in their lives. As we need to make sure we get accurate results. We would also like to make clear what we mean by terms such as emotional stability and their relations to relationships. Irrational thinking, impulsiveness and a fluctuating level of happiness are the three things one can notice in those who are emotionally unstable. This aspect comes into context as when committed partners start causing one to think irrationally or be impulsive about matters concerning their partners. These people can be easily affected and distracted by even the littlest things in their relationship and unable to focus while going through a rough patch. They start to depend on their partners to keep up a certain level of emotional balance. We sense this is not only distracting one away from paying attention in class but limiting their ability to do work and the quality of their work when under stress and emotional imbalance. Academic performance and what effects it: to reach optimum academic performance a work ethic and an intellectually advanced brain is not all that is required to excel. We believe one must have 2 non school hours dedicated to homework and self study or tuition in some cases. We believe one must get enough rest, 7-8 hours of sleep and maintain a healthy body. One must not feel emotionally or socially neglected by family or friends as anything that can effect one's behaviour and thought processes negatively in school or at home, can effect the quality of the work they put in towards academics. Our third point shows us exactly why the effects of relationships can be harmful to academic performances. Our friends from other schools and our classmates as well have all had changes in their life whether minute or large upon getting in relationships. By trying to prove our hypothesis we will show how these changes in their life have effected academic performance. All aspects that affect academic performance will be analysed after the survey to prove our hypothesis.

Renalyn Pradilla

Sean Natividad

Aica Solon II

Flor Opsima

International journal of humanities and social sciences

Zahra Dasht Bozorgi

This study investigated the relationship between love styles, personality traits and quality of life of the married students. Statistical population consists of all married students of Islamic Azad University of Qom, of whom, 200 subjects were selected using the stepwise cluster random sampling. The research instrument included Love Attitudes Scale of Hendrick & Hendrick (1986), NEO Personality Inventory (1985) and Dyadic Adjustment Scale by Spanier (1976). The results of data analysis using the Pearson correlation coefficient showed a significant relationship between the love styles, personality traits, and quality of marital life. Results of the regression analysis also showed that variables of conscientiousness, extroversion, EROS love style , agreeableness, STORGE love style, and openness are good predictors for criterion variable of the quality of marital life.

The Eurasia Proceedings of Educational and Social Sciences

Tolga Erdogan

Marj Florentino

This study is focused on the social factors that affect the academic performance of the first year College of Education students in the Polytechnic University of the Philippines, particularly the campus organizations, sports activities, and romantic relationships. The researchers wanted to know the perception of the students on these factors and how does it affect their academic performance.

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Love Research Paper

This sample love research paper features: 4400 words (approx. 15 pages), an outline, and a bibliography with 48 sources. Browse other research paper examples for more inspiration. If you need a thorough research paper written according to all the academic standards, you can always turn to our experienced writers for help. This is how your paper can get an A! Feel free to contact our custom writing service for professional assistance. We offer high-quality assignments for reasonable rates.

Introduction

What is and is (perhaps) not love, love typologies and theories, theories of courtship, relationship troubles, recent trends in scholarship on romantic pairings.

• Bibliography

The question of “What is love?” has piqued curiosity and engendered frustration for much of history. The exasperated answer that you “just know” when you are in love is reflected in the body of sociological literature on the phenomenon. Sociologists do not seem to agree on a uniform definition, although there are several competing but complementary typologies that attempt to pin down those emotional and behavioral states that add up to romantic “love.”

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Love scholarship can be roughly divided into two philosophical camps: (1) that which argues love must have certain components to be genuine, for instance, to differentiate it from mere liking or lust, and (2) that which suggests that love is a publicly informed but privately experienced state that is whatever the person “in love” believes it to be. Research on romantic love attachments often addresses the behaviors used in dating or, more infrequently, courtship; however, not all research on dating and courtship specifically addresses love. In this research paper, I will treat the three topics as separate. This is a conceit; clarity may be improved by separating the threads of romantic entanglement, but in research, as in life, the division is nowhere near as neatly accomplished.

It should also be mentioned here that the experience of love as understood in modern Western society has not been shared by all cultures in all times. In ancient Greece, true love between equals was seen as possible only between two men; although men married for purposes of procreation, a close emotional bond with a woman was seen as undesirable (Hendrick and Hendrick 1992). Romantic love as featured in novels and film began in the twelfth century. At this time, love came to be understood as an intense and passionate relationship that made the lover somehow a better person and was thus a worthy pursuit, albeit one with elaborate rules and rituals that required time and resources (Singer 1984). The ability to participate was associated with aristocrats or members of the “court,” and it is this circumstance that gives us the term courtship.

Still, the expectation that one would love one’s spouse was many years in coming. According to Stone (1980), changes in economic production and labor markets, together with public health measures, helped to encourage young persons to marry for love. Families had less sway over the choices of young people as production moved away from the family and into the factory, and as life expectancy increased, so did the emotional investment a spouse was willing to make in his or her partner. In some cultures where partners are still chosen by a young person’s family, love is still not seen as a requisite for marriage. In this view, romantic love is a poor basis for forming a lasting union—and this normative stance is evident in research on spousal choice and sentiment. In one study (Levine et al. 1995), researchers asked participants in 10 countries whether they would marry a person who had the traits that they hoped for in a spouse, but whom they did not love. In the United States, fewer than 5 percent of people said that they would make such a match, while in nations such as Pakistan and Japan, young people were much more likely to consider such a union (50.4 and 35.7 percent, respectively). In nations where familism takes precedence over individual goals and desires, love and marriage are not always experienced together. Should love develop between the two, so much the better—but if not, the marriage is based on a solidly practical foundation designed to maintain familial and community stability.

With such an elusive topic, it is perhaps not surprising that many scholars who study love resort to metaphors to try to explain what love is. The rich and varied collection of metaphors include love as a “story” that we tell ourselves and one another (Sternberg 1998), expressions of love as policy statements that set forth the terms and expectations of the relationship (Van de Vate 1981), love as intensely focused and sustained attention in another person (see Brown 1987; Rowntree 1989), and love as emotion via decision (Hatfield and Rapson 1987).

Many scholars differentiate between the “falling in love” state of early romantic attachment and the more companionate state of being in a love relationship after the original flush has worn off (see Hendrick and Hendrick 1992). The intensity of early love is impossible for most couples to maintain. As the relationship progresses, partners come to have a warmer and closer feeling of intimacy, termed companionate love, rather than the all-encompassing passion experienced when the relationship was new (Berscheid and Walster 1978).

Dorothy Tennov’s (1979) work on “limerence” is perhaps the most systematic exploration of the difference between falling in love and being in a committed love relationship. According to Tennov, limerence is a transient state that involves preoccupation with the “limerent object” (i.e., the person one is falling for) together with idealization, mood swings, and physiological arousal. Limerence may be positive, that is, mutual, or negative/ unrequited. Much of limerence occurs in the mind of the one experiencing the emotion. Most people will become limerent at some point in their lives. The experience is generally not permanent—a limerent state lasts an average of around two years—but may occur more than once in a lifetime. What some people experience as a loss of passion, to Tennov, is the waning of the limerent state.

Other research suggests that love is what the lover defines it to be. Lee’s (1973) famous typology of “love styles” identifies six basic types of love experience; not all of the styles of love fit widespread cultural definitions of how romantic love develops and progresses. The primary styles of eros, ludus, and storge and the secondary styles of mania, pragma, and agape reflect different beliefs regarding love and loving behavior as well as personal preferences and comfort levels. The style that most closely resembles ideals of romantic love is termed eros. Lovers who have the eros style tend to value sexual and sensual contact with the beloved, to have a well-formed image of the beloved or a “type” that they tend to be drawn to, to become sexual fairly quickly in a relationship, to define the experience as “love” quite quickly, and to feel that the experience of the relationship is of great importance and scope. By contrast, lovers with styles of ludus, storge, mania, pragma, and agape do not fit the stereotypical mold of romantic love presented in novels and film, although manic lovers fit negative stereotypes of obsessed love. Ludus-style lovers are most interested in the conquest possible when chasing a potential partner. Love, to the ludus lover, is a game of strategy. These lovers are more likely to be pursuing multiple partners and to attempt to limit emotional displays with a partner or potential partner in an effort to maintain an advantage in the dyad. Sexual contact may be more likely to have an aspect of accomplishment and play in these pairings. Storge-style lovers, by contrast, focus on comfort and emotional closeness in a relationship. A relationship between partners with storge style of loving is generally not very physical and passion is not of paramount importance. To outsiders who equate the intense and exquisite experience of limerence as love, storge lovers can seem more like close friends. This is not altogether incorrect, as deep friendship is the basis of this form of love. Lovers who tend toward the pragma style are practical and stress what the potential partner brings to the bargaining table. These lovers are seeking to make the best deal for future life circumstances as possible. Manic love, on the other hand, is not reasoned. This form of love is love for love’s sake; manic lovers value love to the point of obsession and experience an emotional roller coaster of jealousy, insecurity, and elation. The manic lover does not allow the relationship to develop over time but instead attempts to force the partner to make a declaration of love and intention. If ludic lovers enjoy the experience and have fun with love, manic lovers, for all that they yearn for love, generally feel miserable while in a relationship. The final style in Lee’s typology, agape, is very rare in romantic love. This form of love is selfless and based on an almost spiritual desire for the other’s good. Generally, this type of love is considered an ideal.

Sternberg (1998) also suggests an individual and subjective approach to the experience of love. Sternberg’s work shows how lovers story their experiences; the resulting catalogue of love “stories” shows how individuals draw on shared understandings of what love is to fashion coherent and yet individual accounts of the love experience. Some love stories identified by Sternberg include love as science, love as journey, love as art, and love as war.

Most couples who profess a permanent bond (whether in a marriage or other commitment ceremony) describe their partnership as strong and explain that they have great love for their partner. But, over time, evaluations shift. Some couples lose the intense feeling of love and closeness, while other couples experience what can be termed global adoration, which seems to increase marital satisfaction and stability (Neff and Karney 2005:480).

The closeness experienced by partners determines the form of love experienced according to Sternberg (1986). Sternberg’s well-known triangle theory of love suggests that love is a triangle with three points, each formed by a component of love: intimacy (i.e., emotional investment and closeness), passion (excitement and arousal, both emotional and physical), and commitment (a decision to maintain the relationship over time). A love relationship may be stronger in one or two areas and thus have a different character than would another relationship that features a different combination of attributes. For instance, infatuated love features great passion but lacks both intimacy and commitment, fatuous love includes passion and commitment without intimacy, and consummate love completes the triangle with all three components present.

Love and Courtship

Love and courtship are associated in Reiss’s (1960, 1980) wheel theory of love. Unlike Sternberg’s triangle theory, wheel theory assumes a standard progression of romantic relationships that encourages love to develop during the courtship process. These stages are sequential, each successful completion leading to the next step in the courtship process. First, couples experience rapport, or a feeling of ease with one another. Often, this is the result of shared attitudes and backgrounds, which encourages homogamy (or the tendency of people to marry others who are similar to themselves in background and experience). When a couple has rapport, communication is easier and the next stage of self-revelation is facilitated. In this stage, each partner exposes “who I am” to the other; within the norms of their social class and culture, partners will reveal information about themselves to the other, which helps to build closeness. As partners learn more and more about one another and begin to feel closer, the sentiment of mutual dependency grows. In this stage, each partner begins to rely on the other and feel as part of an interdependent unit. If this stage is fully experienced, and the relationship continued, the partners will take on unique significance for one another. One doesn’t merely have “a girlfriend” who could be easily replaced by another female of similar background and attractiveness. This person brings unique benefits not easily found with others and thus this person has special status. If the couple completes the final stage of intimacy need fulfillment, by each partner deciding that the relationship fits his or her needs for closeness and disclosure, the relationship will likely result in an official partnering.

Another metaphor for partner choice during courtship is a “filter.” Alan Kerckhoff and K. E. Davis (1962) posited a filter theory of partner choice based on couples successfully passing through a series of filters, including social characteristics, similarity of values, and need complementarity.

At each stage, potential partners who are not acceptable are excluded from further consideration. Murstein (1970) refined this theory with his stimulus-value-role (SVR) model of partner selection. In brief, partners progress from the stimulus stage, where social similarity and physical attractiveness first catch one’s attention, through the stage of value where partners compare attitudes and beliefs on a variety of issues to check for fit and compatibility, and finally to role, to see if the potential partner fits with the idealized expectations that each has for a potential mate. Interestingly, Murstein notes that while physical attraction is very important for the initiation of a partnership, people generally choose partners whose attractiveness is similar to their own rather than seeking to find the most physically impressive partner possible.

Generally, courtship differs from dating in that it is more structured and subject to cultural norms. Courtship, unlike the looser dating, is acknowledged as codified behavior designed to lead to a permanent partnership or marriage (Cere 2001). Some researchers who detail courtship norms and patterns suggest that the erosion of courting behavior in Western societies in the twentieth century, while not solely determinant, corresponds to a lack of preparation for marriage and the attendant rise in rates of divorce (see Kass and Kass 1999).

Courtship as a field of inquiry in modern sociology has been called “virtually moribund” (Glenn, cited in Cere 2001). Few academics in family sociology now study the more traditional pathways that young adults take to marriage. According to Cere (2001), studies of courtship are now found within three general schools of inquiry: sociobiology, exchange theory, and close-relationship theory (p. 55).

Willard Waller (1937) was one of the first sociologists to note that the marriage contract was based on a bargain that was becoming less and less explicit. In Waller’s view, couples placed greater stress on love as a basis for marriage because of the lack of understanding of agreed-on and culturally sanctioned bases for marriage.

Courtship, then, stopped being a proving ground for potential partners to check one another for fitness as mate. Beth Bailey (1988) detailed the evolution of courtship from a private enactment of cultural expectation to a more public and also more sexually intimate “dating” brought about by market courtship. Courting moved from the home environment of family, church, and culture to the paid arena of dating sites such as restaurants, movies, and clubs. Courtship, beginning to morph into dating, became something to be purchased rather than something to be performed.

Gary Becker (1974) suggested the now well-known exchange theory model of courtship. In brief, people marry when the perceived benefits of a given pair bond outweigh the perceived costs of the bond. Each party is aware of what preferences or characteristics they require, and what resources, or attributes they have to offer another are part of the deal they wish to strike. From this perspective, courtship is akin to a long interview in which each party attempts to broker the best deal possible given the resources they may possess. However, this theory is criticized for its inability to account for the great persuasive and compelling nature of “love” and the desire to form a permanent bond with a partner who, to an outsider, might seem like a very poor choice. Exchange theory requires that each party be a rational actor with sufficient insight into their own and their partner’s motivations and qualities to be able to evaluate and strike the desired bargain.

Sociobiological theories of courtship focus on partners’ selection of a mate who will provide maximum reproductive success. Stated broadly, men seek out women who show physical signs of fertility (i.e., youth, attractiveness, and the appearance of health), while women are more likely to seek a partner who is able and willing to support a family (see Buss 1988; Tooke and Camire 1991; Benz, Anderson, and Miller 1995).

Courtship also has a retrospective character. Couples spending time together generally define their activity as dating; after the pair has become engaged or has married, the period of dating becomes the courtship that led to the decision to permanently partner. Courtship as experienced and referenced, then, is increasingly the province of memory and redefinition and is produced and reproduced in family storytelling occasions. Ponzetti (2005) identifies courtship tales as a major theme in family storytelling and explains that the courtship story serves as a ready explanation of how the pair decided to marry, thus chronicling the beginning of a family unit. By cofashioning the tale of courtship, spouses can fashion a partnership history that may help them to transcend present difficulties.

While the term courtship generally refers to mate selection leading to long-term partnership, dating has a much more casual connotation. Dating behavior as studied by sociologists runs the gamut from the very casual “hanging out” that isn’t “really dating” (Owens 2005) to spending time with one or more potential partners, to having fun without any expectation of permanence. Dating can be difficult to distinguish from friendship at times, especially among young adults and teens who spend unstructured time hanging out with one another but who do not necessarily seek to define their relationships and who may deny that they have been on a “date.” In some instances, young adults form committed sexual and emotional relationships that are durable, although they do not necessarily have an expectation of permanence while reporting that they have “never dated” or “never been on a date” (Owens 2005).

The difference in goals present in dating and courtship gives a “two-tiered system of heterosexual interaction” to modern romance (Cate and Lloyd 1992:24). In fact, the goal and seriousness of the relationship is often the basis for marking whether the couple is “dating” or “courting,” with dating evolving into courtship when the couple becomes both serious and sexually exclusive. Homogamy is present among dating, cohabiting, and married couples and forms an aspect of partner selection at all levels of commitment, but there does seem to be a “winnowing process” whereby the requirements and expectations of a partner become more and more stringent as the relationship moves from mere dating to a more permanent partnership (Blackwell and Lichter 2004:719).

Studies of the early stages of partner choice in dating tend to focus on initial attraction (Buss et al. 2001) and the techniques that people use to draw partners to them (see Clark, Shaver, and Abrahams 1999). Frequently, this literature deals with the ideal or goal relationship that a partner holds going into a potential relationship. Studies of the early stages of a dating relationship, therefore, often gauge the predating expectations or desires of partners. An example would be Yancey’s (2002) study of who interracially dates; factors such as religious background, political stance, residential region, and educational background influence whether a person will date outside their own racial or ethnic background.

Dating troubles are also a popular avenue for inquiry. Dating involves a plethora of potential difficulties, including dishonesty, infidelity, emotional turmoil, miscommunication, and struggles over power and dominance. Deception, therefore, is part of the mating dance. Both men and women understand that a potential partner will likely hide or minimize negative attributes and highlight other characteristics that would make him or her more attractive in the dating arena. In heterosexual pairings, deception follows gendered norms of what is and is not attractive in a potential spouse. As previously noted, men place a higher premium on youth when considering potential partners, while women are more likely to stress ability to support a family. Interestingly, each sex understands that the other is trying to appeal to these norms. Men acknowledge that women are going to be deceptive about intentions to maintain a youthful and attractive appearance, while women and men agree that men are more likely to be deceptive about financial prospects for the future (Benz et al. 1995).

Couples deceive one another not only to attract a partner who might otherwise not be interested but also to hide “competing relationships” or “outside-relationship activities,” and to gloss over the “state of the relationship,” including decreasing of contact (Tolhuizen 1991, cited in Cate and Lloyd 1992:87). Whether a partner chooses to stay or leave after discovering deception is influenced by communication patterns and the person’s style of attachment (Jang, Smith, and Levine 2002).

Deception is not the only serious complication that couples face. More direct forms of aggression in relationships also exist. Intimate partner violence began receiving widespread attention in the 1980s. Although earlier studies may have made brief mention of violence in intimate relationships, it was not until the 1980s that explicit acknowledgement was offered that sexual assault and other forms of violence occurred in courtship and dating (Cate and Lloyd 1992). This oversight is surprising, as physical violence occurs in as many as 40 percent of dating couples (Simons, Lin, and Gordon 1998). Both male and female partners report experiencing common couple violence such as pushing or slapping, but men are more likely than women to engage in serious violence against a partner (Johnson and Ferraro 2000). Lifetime chances of being the victim of intimate partner violence are also skewed by gender. About a quarter of women but fewer than 10 percent of men will be physically assaulted by an intimate partner (see Tjaden and Thoennes 1998).

Much of the sociological literature on romantic pairings prior to 1970 focused on homogamy, propinquity, and complementarity of roles among young heterosexual couples. In more recent decades, researchers have included homosexual couples in studies of love, dating, and partnering (for a notable example, see Vaughan 1986). Moreover, studies of dating and courtship now include older daters, who may or may not have children from previous unions or who may be grieving the loss of a spouse due to divorce or widowhood (see Huyck 2001; Dickson, Hughes, and Walker 2005). Among adults in later life, dating relationships follow traditional gender norms (McElhany 1992) and provide a great deal of personal satisfaction and emotional closeness whether or not the relationship leads to marriage (Bulcroft and O’Conner 1986). Still, seniors who date experience some drawbacks unique to their life circumstances. Older women in the dating market feel vulnerable to being taken advantage of financially and practically in what Dickson et al. (2005) term the “nurse and purse phenomenon” (p. 78).

Work in this field evolves as people find new and innovative ways to relate to one another sexually and romantically. At present, two subfields are emerging as very important to the study of romantic pairings: work on love relationships that involve distance, such as cyber-romance or “living apart together” (LAT) relationships (Levin 2004), and on the liminal and open-ended pairings usually, but not exclusively, experienced by young adults and which have been termed friends-with-benefits relationships (Hughes, Morrison, and Asada 2005).

The more well-known of the two areas of inquiry is an exploration of what in the past was combined into the notion of “long-distance relationships.” These relationships have exploded with the advent of the Internet; it is now possible to meet partners, disclose personal information in real time through messaging, and even be physically intimate virtually. Online relationship research is a burgeoning field that includes work on Internet personals as a way to meet potential partners (see Groom and Pennebaker 2005), online chat as a gateway to potential real-world infidelity (Mileham 2003), online intimacy as a form of sexual exchange (Waskul 2002), and e-mail messaging (Hovick, Meyers, and Timmerman 2003) as a means of relationship maintenance.

The LAT relationship is a “historically new family form” that developed due to changing norms and societal circumstances over the past 30 years (Levin 2004). Partners in LAT relationships view themselves as a committed couple and their social network shares this image, but the partners maintain separate residences—sometimes hours away from one another—due to work or familial obligations or even personal preference. These relationships are distinguished from commuter marriages or relationships in that the pair does not share a primary home part-time, with one partner also renting an apartment during work or school.

A very recent trend in relationship research involves the friends-with-benefits relationship (FWBR) that involves sexual intimacy but not necessarily an explicitly emotional romantic connection as “romance” is traditionally understood. These pairings may or may not involve expectations by partners that the relationship will evolve into something more emotionally intimate (Hughes et al. 2005). These relationships combine the benefits of a friendship with that of a sexual relationship, but without the responsibility and time constraints present in more traditional romantic relationships.

Research on love, courtship, and dating will continue to evolve as new modes of pairing up and maintaining emotional closeness become more accessible. It is likely that electronic modes of relating will receive more attention from scholars. Not only has the Internet reduced much of the stigma of placing the “personals ad,” but early stages of courting and relating can now be conducted with little—or no—in-person contact. Obviously, such circumstances come with attendant complications: How does one establish rapport and trust without the many cues in-person contact allows? What are the effects of distanced relating on disclosure and truth telling? Do these pairings become sexual more quickly because of a heightened sense of intimacy and “knowingness”? Extra-relationship pairings via electronic media will also continue to garner increased attention, as the definition of what “counts” as cheating moves further from a physical-contact model to a more flexible conceptualization of contact that takes attention, time, and focus from the primary relationship.

Studies of relational power and earnings will also factor strongly in family scholarship in the coming decades. Women have always worked, as family scholars who detail the historical family unit of production have noted. However, if current trends continue, women will be the majority of college graduates and may begin to catch up to men in their professional accomplishments and dollar earnings. This transition, if it occurs, will not be a simple one as it will challenge long-held notions of gender and place within a heterosexual pair bond.

Taking into account both electronic modes of relating and economic pressures felt by couples, we can also expect to see more scholarship on distance relationships and commuting. Established couples may choose to live apart due to career or educational necessity. Electronic communications and other forms of technology (e.g., cellular telephones that can be used to call one another or to send photos or text messages) may be used to maintain emotional closeness despite geographic distance.

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Thesis & Dissertation Acknowledgements | Tips & Examples

Published on May 3, 2022 by Tegan George . Revised on July 18, 2023.

The acknowledgements section is your opportunity to thank those who have helped and supported you personally and professionally during your thesis or dissertation process.

Thesis or dissertation acknowledgements appear between your title page and abstract  and should be no longer than one page.

In your acknowledgements, it’s okay to use a more informal style than is usually permitted in academic writing , as well as first-person pronouns . Acknowledgements are not considered part of the academic work itself, but rather your chance to write something more personal.

To get started, download our step-by-step template in the format of your choice below. We’ve also included sample sentence starters to help you construct your acknowledgments section from scratch.

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Who to thank in your acknowledgements, how to write acknowledgements, acknowledgements section example, acknowledgements dos and don’ts, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about the acknowledgements section.

Generally, there are two main categories of acknowledgements: professional and personal .

A good first step is to check your university’s guidelines, as they may have rules or preferences about the order, phrasing, or layout of acknowledgements. Some institutions prefer that you keep your acknowledgements strictly professional.

Regardless, it’s usually a good idea to place professional acknowledgements first, followed by any personal ones. You can then proceed by ranking who you’d like to thank from most formal to least.

• Chairs, supervisors, or defense committees
• Funding bodies
• Other academics (e.g., colleagues or cohort members)
• Editors or proofreaders
• Librarians, research/laboratory assistants, or study participants
• Family, friends, or pets

Typically, it’s only necessary to mention people who directly supported you during your thesis or dissertation. However, if you feel that someone like a high school physics teacher was a great inspiration on the path to your current research, feel free to include them as well.

Professional acknowledgements

It is crucial to avoid overlooking anyone who helped you professionally as you completed your thesis or dissertation. As a rule of thumb, anyone who directly contributed to your research process, from figuring out your dissertation topic to your final proofread, should be mentioned.

A few things to keep in mind include:

• Even if you feel your chair didn’t help you very much, you should still thank them first to avoid looking like you’re snubbing them.
• Be sure to follow academic conventions, using full names with titles where appropriate.
• If several members of a group or organization assisted you, mention the collective name only.
• Remember the ethical considerations around anonymized data. If you wish to protect someone’s privacy, use only their first name or a generic identifier (such as “the interviewees”)/

Personal acknowledgements

There is no need to mention every member of your family or friend group. However, if someone was particularly inspiring or supportive, you may wish to mention them specifically. Many people choose to thank parents, partners, children, friends, and even pets, but you can mention anyone who offered moral support or encouragement, or helped you in a tangible or intangible way.

Some students may wish to dedicate their dissertation to a deceased influential person in their personal life. In this case, it’s okay to mention them first, before any professional acknowledgements.

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After you’ve compiled a list of who you’d like to thank, you can then sort your list into rank order. Separate everyone you listed into “major thanks,” “big thanks,” and “minor thanks” categories.

• “Major thanks” are given to people who your project would be impossible without. These are often predominantly professional acknowledgements, such as your advisor, chair, and committee, as well as any funders.
• “Big thanks” are an in-between, for those who helped you along the way or helped you grow intellectually, such as classmates, peers, or librarians.
• “Minor thanks” can be a catch-all for everyone else, especially those who offered moral support or encouragement. This can include personal acknowledgements, such as parents, partners, children, friends, or even pets.

How to phrase your acknowledgements

To avoid acknowledgements that sound repetitive or dull, consider changing up your phrasing. Here are some examples of common sentence starters you can use for each category.

Note that you do not need to write any sort of conclusion or summary at the end. You can simply end the acknowledgements with your last thank you.

Here’s an example of how you can combine the different sentences to write your acknowledgements.

A simple construction consists of a sentence starter (in purple highlight ), followed by the person or entity mentioned (in green highlight ), followed by what you’re thanking them for (in yellow highlight .)

Acknowledgements

Words cannot express my gratitude to my professor and chair of my committee for her invaluable patience and feedback. I also could not have undertaken this journey without my defense committee, who generously provided knowledge and expertise. Additionally, this endeavor would not have been possible without the generous support from the MacArthur Foundation, who financed my research .

I am also grateful to my classmates and cohort members, especially my office mates, for their editing help, late-night feedback sessions, and moral support. Thanks should also go to the librarians, research assistants, and study participants from the university, who impacted and inspired me.

Lastly, I would be remiss in not mentioning my family, especially my parents, spouse, and children. Their belief in me has kept my spirits and motivation high during this process. I would also like to thank my cat for all the entertainment and emotional support.

• Write in first-person, professional language
• Thank your professional contacts first
• Include full names, titles, and roles of professional acknowledgements
• Include personal or intangible supporters, like friends, family, or even pets
• Mention funding bodies and what they funded
• Appropriately anonymize or group research participants or non-individual acknowledgments

Don’t:

• Use informal language or slang
• Go over one page in length
• Mention people who had only a peripheral or minor impact on your work

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In the acknowledgements of your thesis or dissertation, you should first thank those who helped you academically or professionally, such as your supervisor, funders, and other academics.

Then you can include personal thanks to friends, family members, or anyone else who supported you during the process.

Yes, it’s important to thank your supervisor(s) in the acknowledgements section of your thesis or dissertation .

Even if you feel your supervisor did not contribute greatly to the final product, you must acknowledge them, if only for a very brief thank you. If you do not include your supervisor, it may be seen as a snub.

The acknowledgements are generally included at the very beginning of your thesis , directly after the title page and before the abstract .

In a thesis or dissertation, the acknowledgements should usually be no longer than one page. There is no minimum length.

You may acknowledge God in your dissertation acknowledgements , but be sure to follow academic convention by also thanking the members of academia, as well as family, colleagues, and friends who helped you.

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George, T. (2023, July 18). Thesis & Dissertation Acknowledgements | Tips & Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved September 3, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/dissertation/acknowledgements/

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