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Family Conflict Resolution Tips and Strategies

Sometimes, family issues can be the most complex

Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

praetorianphoto / Getty Images

• Defining What You Can Control and What You Can't

The Role of Patterns

Simple changes for better results, what you can do now.

When families get together, we hope for fun times characterized by love and bonding, but we often find that family conflicts occur during these times as well. In fact, in most families, there are longstanding patterns of interaction and roles that people traditionally play within these interactions. When adult children get together with family, they often find themselves slipping back into these patterns, something laughingly referred to as "revertigo."

These interactions can be positive, but when they’re negative, they can bring high amounts of stress to a family gathering. That's where family conflict resolution comes in.

Defining What You Can Control and What You Can't

How often have you had an experience where you knew you were going to see your family and could predict in advance what annoying or frustrating interactions you might have with certain family members, and things went exactly as you’d hoped they wouldn’t? Have you ever wished you had a remote control for humans, complete with pause, rewind and mute buttons?

While you can’t control the actions of others, you can control your response to their actions, which can alter the whole dynamic and create more positive interactions.

In fact, Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon, USC Marshall School professor and author of Comebacks at Work: Using Conversation to Master Confrontation, estimates that 75% of how people treat us is under our control because of this. She advocates taking a different approach if you want to experience new, more positive results with these types of conflicts in the future.

“Communication is like chess where every move one person makes influences the choices of the other,” says Reardon.

A good rule of thumb is to not say what you would normally say in response to any provocation.

"If you let someone go on and on and that leads to anger, link something you have to say to his or her topic and then change to another one," she says.

If you think you’re being blamed for something, instead of getting your back up, try saying, “There’s some truth to that” or “I hadn’t thought of it that way but I see your point.” In other words, tweak what you normally do. Then you won’t just slip into conflict. Above all, don’t be predictable. When we’re predictable, those who want to argue can maneuver us into doing just that.”

This solution is based on the observation that many of our conflicts with people we know well are based on repeated patterns that we unwittingly perpetuate.

We may try to be proactive about responding in a way that will resolve the conflict each time (though let's face it, many of us are more focused on “winning” the argument rather than on dissolving or resolving the conflict, and there’s often a difference). This response could actually serve to keep things going the way they have in the past, which may not be what we want.

“All families and most friends bring with them emotional baggage from the past,” explains Reardon. “In Comebacks at Work we describe how this leads to URPS (unwanted repetitive episodes) in conversation. Most of us slip into these dysfunctional and stressful patterns without even noticing because we’ve been in them so many times before.

Some of the common URPS involve sibling rivalry issues, patterns with parents that have never gone away, political issues even in families where everyone identifies with the same political party, and who is more right about topics that aren’t really important.

According to Reardon, the key to getting out of these URPS situations is to recognize “choice points” in a conversation, or points in the discourse where you can alter the tone and direction that the exchange takes, by altering your own responses. She gives the following scenario as an example:

Alan: That’s a stupid idea. Eleanor: What makes you a genius? Alan: I’m not a genius but I know when something is ridiculous. Eleanor: You’re ridiculous.

“After Alan said, “That’s a stupid idea,” Eleanor was at a choice point, explains Reardon. “She reacted in the way many people would. But, she could have altered this conversation.” Here’s how that might look:

Alan: “That’s a stupid idea.” Eleanor: “At first, I thought so too. But hear me out.”

Or Eleanor might have said: “New ideas tend to sound stupid, but you’ll see in a minute why this one isn’t.”

“Instead of reacting to Alan with an attack, she chose to bypass that option,” Reardon points out. “Instead, she allowed that he may have a point but he’ll think differently when she finishes speaking.

“This is responding rather than reacting,” she says. “It gives the other person a chance to rethink whether he or she wants to argue. It’s a gift of sorts to be accepted or not – the other person’s choice point. Most people respond to such generosity in conversation with returned generosity.”

If you're anticipating conflict the next time you get together with certain people, you may want to think about things ahead of time and identify patterns you've experienced before, think about potential choice points, and consider alternative responses you may choose.

Try to come up with a few tactics for each scenario, and think about what would feel right for you.

Rather than getting caught up in the usual conflict and hurt feelings, try to imagine what tone you'd like the conversation to take, and see if you can lead the interaction in that direction with your own responses at pivotal choice points.

You may be surprised at how quickly things can change.

Learning better conflict resolution skills , knowing what to avoid in a conflict, and how to cool off when upset can also help immensely. And when all else fails, extra-strong listening skills have helped de-escalate many a conflict.

By Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

All families deal with relationship difficulties, small or large, at various times throughout the family experience. Family problems come in all shapes and sizes, impacting family dynamics and shaping family relationships. The ways that family members cope with and solve issues provide a framework for family dynamics and set the tone for family life. 

How to Solve Family Problems

• Create an Environment of Sharing
• Acknowledge the Problem
• Get to the Deeper Issue
• Focus on the Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride
• Get Professional Help

Remember to Take Care of Yourself

Creating a family culture of openness and security, and taking the steps to resolve family issues, can improve relationships and maintain positive family dynamics. 

Common Family Problems

Families face a variety of problems, both large and small. Family conflict and relationship problems can include arguments, miscommunication, and misunderstanding. They also can involve deeper issues such as substance abuse, financial instability, mental illness, grief, health problems, and divorce. Sometimes, these issues exist between only two family members, and other times they spread throughout the entire family, creating extended family issues . Some issues, like grief after the loss of a loved one, appear plainly on the surface, while others can be more subtle. Perhaps your child refuses to communicate with you, or your wife doesn’t seem to be a happily married woman .

Family issues often have underlying causes which are not always apparent.. And yet the impact of these root causes can spread throughout the family, creates conflict or emotional strain in several family relationships. Such conflict is especially impactful on a child’s life, creating emotional difficulties that are often carried from their childhood and adolescence into their adult lives and future family relationships.

Create an Environment of Sharing 

Families are built on relationships, and relationships are strengthened through healthy communication. An environment of sharing creates the foundation for healthy communication. Family members need to feel safe to share their feelings and discuss their issues and emotions. As a family oriented parent , that means allowing your child to share their point of view without fear of judgment or punishment. Sometimes, a child just needs to feel certain that what they say will be taken seriously. A child who feels safe can talk about difficult or emotional subjects, such as mental health, self-identity, anxiety, or substance abuse. Children who feel safe and respected are much more likely to open up to a parent when struggling with a situation or trying to make a difficult decision. This is also true for other family relationships—not just between parent and child, but between siblings and within the marriage.

Ways to achieve an environment of sharing include:

• Listen. Really listen to the other person before providing advice or counsel. Sometimes, it is better to first ask if advice is welcome. If the answer is no, let it go and follow up later.
• Be willing to share your own feelings. Sometimes things seem obvious to us, but they may not be obvious to your child, spouse, or sibling. Sharing your own feelings without placing blame can bring up new points of view.
• Speak for yourself and avoid blame. When sharing your perspective, present it as just that - your perspective and not the facts. 
• Recognize others’ experiences as valid. Telling others how they feel or should feel creates barriers and discourages sharing.
• Be human. Admitting you are wrong, or that you made a mistake, can help others feel more comfortable to admit their own mistakes.
• Model the behavior you want to see. We are all influenced by the people who surround us. Modeling healthy ways to express thoughts and emotions encourages others to do the same.
• Do things together. Families that spend time together engaged in positive activities achieve a sense of closeness that encourages open communication and sharing. Explore shared interests, sports, or service ideas for families . Activities that involve serving others and getting outside are especially fulfilling and often instigate future conversations and closer relationships.

Sharing openly among family members sets the stage for solving family problems and preventing future issues from arising.

Acknowledge the Family Problem 

Sometimes family problems stem from  something simple like a lack of closeness. Other times the problems involve something much more serious, like abuse. Acknowledging that a problem exists is the first step in doing something to fix the situation. Ignoring issues and pretending everything is fine are common unhealthy coping mechanisms for family members experiencing relationship conflict or emotionally difficult situations. 

Lack of acknowledgment can exacerbate issues, fuel negative situations, and culminate in negative or damaging behavior, such as lashing out in anger, aggressive argument, substance abuse, or family violence. Acknowledging a problem as early as possible allows positive action to be taken toward fixing the situation, and may prevent unhealthy coping mechanisms that lead to negative situations.

Sometimes we avoid discussing problems because our past efforts to do so only seemed to make things worse. As a result, we believe that avoiding is better than continuing to fight. In truth, avoiding instead of fighting just leads to other side effects in families. Feeling stuck is often a sign that involving a third party is needed, such as a good marriage and family therapist.

Get to the Deeper Family Issue

After acknowledging that a problem exists, steps can be taken to identify the source of the problem and improve the situation. Most family problems are merely symptoms on the surface of a deeper-rooted cause. Knowing the cause paves the way for greater empathy among family members and illuminates situations that require change. Here are some examples of family problems and their deeper issues:

Conflict between siblings – The majority of families will experience some sibling conflict between children at various times. But if that conflict extends beyond the occasional bickering to consistent emotional arguing or angry or hurtful behavior, then a deeper issue is likely the cause. That deeper issue could involve jealousy or feelings of inadequacy, where one child feels overshadowed by the other. One child could be putting pressure on the other to keep a secret from their parents (such as breaking a rule or lying). The cause could also be external, affecting one child who in turn uses their sibling as a dump truck for unloading their stress, frustration, or anger. 

Alcohol abuse or other substance abuse – Family members who abuse alcohol or other substances are often using the activity as an escape mechanism. They could be escaping from a difficult emotional situation, such as grief over the loss of a loved one, financial instability, marriage conflict, or divorce. Or, they could be escaping from physical pain from illness or other health problems. Professional help from a therapist or support group can help to break down the deeper issues that lead people to substance abuse and start them on the road to recovery.

Stress and anxiety in children – These are common effects of a variety of deeper issues. Often, anxiety is triggered by an event or a difficult situation. The stress that stems from it leads to further anxiety, creating a cyclical pattern. The root of the anxiety could be a social issue at school or concern for a friend. It could relate to feeling overwhelmed in school or struggling with an undiagnosed learning disorder. Children often perceive more than they let on and could be reacting to a passing comment from a parent, such as “Our budget is tight this month.” Talking with your child and maintaining trust through open communication encourages children to reveal the source of their anxiety.

Sometimes, identifying the deeper issue and bringing it out in the open is all it takes to resolve a problem. Other times, merely identifying the root cause is just the beginning of the long road to resolution. This important and necessary step will help to develop a plan for resolving issues and encourage understanding within family relationships.

Focus on the Family Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride 

Anger and pride are the enemies of healthy family relationships. They feed negative emotions, hamper empathy and understanding, and thwart positive and open communication. Holding on to these feelings blocks the path to conflict resolution. Anger and pride are divisive to family relationships and damaging to individual mental health. They are fuel for the cyclical patterns of stress, anxiety, and depression. Despite knowing this, however, letting go of such emotions can be difficult – and sometimes painful. The fear of pain, vulnerability, or failure are often what keeps a person from improving their family relationships and focusing on the importance of family .

One of the best ways to move beyond that fear is to focus on the relationship. Prioritize the goal—a healthier, happier relationship—over the fear of being hurt or the fear of failure. When family problems exist, a person has usually been hurt already, which makes the fear of being hurt again even greater. But while that risk of further hurt is real, the potential for healing and resolution is also real. Focusing on that potential, and letting go of those negative emotions, opens the door to healthier communication, relationship healing, and better mental health.

Get Professional Family Help

Getting professional help is one of the best ways to handle family problems. Some situations, such as those involving abuse, dangerous behavior, or domestic violence, require immediate professional help and formal family assessment . In other situations, such as ongoing disagreements over a certain topic or lack of closeness within a marriage, brief therapy help can provide the catalyst you need to get unstuck and achieve the fulfilling relationship that you each desire.

Many people hold back from seeking professional help because of fears or misunderstandings. Here are some facts about therapy that help to debunk some of these common myths and misconceptions:

Therapy is for everyone - A common misconception about therapy is that it is reserved for people with mental illness, individuals with an emotional disorder, or people who are too weak to handle their own problems. This could not be further from the truth. As humans, we need other humans to work through issues with us. Therapy provides a safe, confidential environment to do just that. 

Professional help is available for all types of issues, whether large or small, and in a variety of formats. Family therapy, marriage counseling, support groups, and individual sessions with a therapist are just a few examples. There is also a variety of specialties, including psychology, psychiatry, religious counseling, and much more. At the end of the day, therapy is merely a safe space to work through your family problems with the support of a trained professional.

Therapy is worth your time - Another common misconception is that therapy is a waste of time or money. You could talk to anyone, so why talk to a therapist? Therapists have special expertise gained through extensive professional training. They will not only help you talk about your family issues but will help you to develop strategies for resolving difficult situations. A family therapist can also discuss various types of issues you may be dealing with, and different options for resolution or treatment, such as new scientific approaches to treating a specific issues.

Therapy is safe - One myth about therapy is that there are risks. The risk of being judged (by the therapist or by friends and family) or the risk of being medicated. On the contrary, therapy provides a safe and confidential space to explore all options for healing. Often, professional counseling is all that is needed or desired for family conflict resolution.

Professional help can provide growth and healing for a parent, child, or an entire family, improving family dynamics and emotional health. It can provide mediation and conflict resolution within a marriage, between siblings, or any type of family relationship. Think about the type of support (such as family therapy, religious counseling, or psychiatry) that feels right for your family and seek it out.

It is true that the quality of the professional you work with can make a big difference in the outcome of your therapy. For this reason, it’s often best to seek a referral from a trusted friend or family member. If that feels uncomfortable, consider asking for a referral from your family doctor. If you’ve had a negative experience in the past, consider giving it another try, this time with a trusted referral.

Taking care of yourself and maintaining your mental health is essential when attempting to solve family issues. Maintaining positive, healthy family dynamics starts with a healthy self. Being in a healthy mental space allows you to let go of negative emotions. This, in turn, paves the way for safe and open communication between family members and helps the entire family focus on relationships. 

Not only does this place you in the right frame of mind to address family conflict, but it models a healthy example for your children to do the same. It is integral to maintaining a strong family structure that provides a sense of stability and security for children. For a parent, maintaining your mental health can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to maintain the necessary qualities of a good father and mother, such as understanding and empathy.

Taking care of yourself is often easier said than done, especially while feelings of stress, anxiety, or emotional dissatisfaction prevail. Finding a healthy outlet to decompress and let go of stress and other negative emotions can help to maintain a healthy state of mind. Choose a regular time in your schedule just for maintaining you. This could include a daily exercise routine, a therapeutic hobby (such as gardening or journaling), or a weekly therapy session. Taking care of yourself leaves you open to model healthy behavior for your children and to focus on family relationships.

Impact of Family Problems

When not addressed, family problems can have serious impacts on individual family members. Issues such as increased levels of stress and anxiety, emotional difficulties and disorders (such as depression), substance abuse, and addiction, are all likely to surface. Sometimes, these impacts carry on throughout a child’s life. Family problems can especially impact children, who are often capable of perceiving much more than one might think. Children may also perceive a problem, but not be able to fully understand it. Such misunderstandings can lead to greater issues, further affecting family dynamics and individual emotions. Where family issues exist, acknowledge the problem, and take the steps to resolution.

Solving Family Problems

Families experience a wide range of issues, some small and some large. These issues typically involve strain or conflict within family relationships. They can have lasting impacts on individual family members, especially children. Taking steps to address family issues, and seeking resolution among family relationships can ease emotions, promote mental health, and maintain a positive family culture. A family culture quiz by Kinmundo is an easy way for families to evaluate and improve the culture within their family.  

A positive family culture requires a structure built on family values that maintains a safe environment for sharing. Open communication in an environment safe from fears of judgment provides a model of stability and security for family members to acknowledge and address important issues with understanding and empathy. Creating such a culture is paramount to solving family issues when they arise.

A family that feels open and safe to share emotions, acknowledge issues, and seek help when needed can maintain positive relationships and mental health. When family members are prepared to resolve family conflict, they can reduce the lasting impacts of difficult situations and fix relationships that may seem broken.

5 Ways to Become a More Family Oriented…

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Eight Situations That Commonly Cause Family Conflict

Writer Leo Tolstoy once observed that “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This may be true in the sense that families are complex units made up of complex individuals, and the ways in which they relate to each other and the circumstances in which they find themselves are unique. One  family’s issues  may be completely distinct from another’s. 

That said, however, there’s a set of broad patterns that tend to cause conflict across many families—whether biological or chosen. To compound the issue, many lack the tools to handle these challenges in a healthy way. Read on for eight of the most common sources of conflict in families, along with steps you can take to try and address or cope with them.

Signs of unhealthy family conflict: Common issues within the family unit

Every family will inevitably face conflict from time to time. However, those that go unresolved or that are dealt with in unhealthy ways can take a toll on members and their relationships with each other. They can lead to chronic stress levels (which can lead to health problems), mental health challenges, and even estrangement, which can make family life difficult.

Some signs of ongoing family conflict that’s not being handled in a healthy way can include:

Passive-aggressive behaviors

Sweeping issues ‘under the rug’

Frequent bickering and/or fighting

Disagreements frequently escalating to yelling/screaming

Frequent periods where some members aren’t speaking to others

A lack of trust between members

Codependent behavior

Abuse of any kind

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

8 common causes of family conflict

If you’ve recognized that your family is experiencing conflict, identifying the root cause can be the next step toward managing it. Although many people are already aware of what’s causing the core conflict within their family, it can be helpful to see some of the most common ones listed out—both to provide insight into how multiple issues can overlap and interact, and to take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in your experience of family problems. See below for some of the most common  causes of family stress  or discord.

Parental relationship problems

Parents who are constantly fighting—whether they're still together or separated or divorced—can cause tension for all members, especially children. One parent who is in an unhealthy relationship with someone can also be distressing for the other members to observe.

Financial concerns

Many families face serious challenges in meeting the basic needs of all members. Whether it’s because of systemic issues, job loss, inability to work, uncontrolled spending, gambling problems, or another reason, stress and conflict related to money and bills is common.

Health conditions 

When one or more family members is experiencing a health challenge—from a chronic physical condition to a mental illness to a disability—it can affect the others. Stress and worry as well as providing care and paying medical bills can sometimes result in tension and other family issues.

Toxic behaviors between family members

Sometimes, stress or dysfunction in a family can be traced primarily to the toxic behaviors of one member. For example, someone who frequently engages in manipulation tactics, dishonesty, scapegoating, or similar behaviors can be extremely difficult or even dangerous to live with. These can be personality traits or signs of certain  personality disorders .

Unaddressed trauma related to family issues

In most cases, trauma that has not been effectively and healthily recognized, processed, and healed will cause issues in a person’s life in some way. A family unit that experiences trauma together—such as war, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one—or vicariously through one member may experience conflict that arises as a result of this unaddressed pain. This can be especially true for various forms of intergenerational trauma.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Unhealthy expectations

Family members who feel pressure to conform to unhealthy and/or impossible standards may experience negative effects as a result. For example, a household where each child is expected to perform perfectly in school, never express negative emotions, or never bring up conflict can eventually cause them to disengage or lash out.

Too much or too little time together

Families that have to live in close quarters and spend most or all of their time together are liable to face conflict, as many learned  during the COVID-19 lockdown . On the other hand, families that are so busy or live so far apart that they rarely get to spend quality time together could also end up experiencing conflict.

Poor or nonexistent communication

Healthy, honest, frequent communication is widely considered to be the foundation of healthy relationships of all types. Families without it are likely to experience recurrent conflict as issues that arise may not be properly addressed and members may not feel heard.

Addressing family conflict and promoting healthy relationships

After you’ve uncovered the root of the conflict your family is experiencing, the next recommended course of action is usually to engage in open communication about it with your family members. If you’re wondering  how to resolve family conflict , setting aside a time when you can calmly and reasonably bring up the issue(s) without being aggressive or accusatory can be effective in some cases. Although you may not be able to solve all the issues with one conversation, it can represent a first step toward collaborating to create a happier, healthier family dynamic together over time. 

However, sometimes it’s not feasible or not safe for one person to communicate something that’s been bothering them to others. Some family members may be resistant to even speaking openly about it, much less working toward solutions. Others may engage in extreme reactions that make it difficult to ever get to the root of the problem. In cases like these, therapy could be the next step to consider.

How family therapy can help

Families that are willing to engage in therapy can rely on a family therapist to guide the discussion and the handling of conflict. This type of healthcare professional can equip members with techniques to help with things like communication, problem-solving, and stress management that they can use in the present conflict and in the future. They can also identify and address any mental health challenges that could be affecting any member and, in turn, their family. If you’re interested in locating a family therapist in your area, you can find directories  of licensed providers online or ask your physician, friends, or community members for a recommendation.

However, if some or all of your family is unwilling to attend family therapy, you may find it useful to attend individual sessions on your own. While this won’t change the behavior of your family members, it can offer you a safe, nonjudgmental space to express your feelings and get advice on healthy, constructive strategies to try when engaging with them. 

If in-person therapy is inaccessible or unaffordable for you, you might consider an  online therapy platform  like BetterHelp instead where you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with from home or anywhere else you have an internet connection. Plus, session costs are less than the average in-person visit and comparable to most insurance co-pays. Research suggests that there is likely “no difference in effectiveness” between in-person therapy and online therapy, so you can typically feel confident in whichever format you may choose. See below for reviews of BetterHelp counselors from clients who have faced similar challenges. 

Counselor reviews

“Nicole is great! I’ve been seeing her for both couples counseling and individual therapy. She is kind and sympathetic while still being straightforward and practical. She always helps me find ways to overcome obstacles or look at things from another perspective. Also, she has a ton of helpful resources that she has given through the BetterHelp app. It is very convenient and just what I needed to get through a difficult year!”

“Danielle is amazing! She’s helping me grapple with incredibly difficult challenges in one of my most important relationships. She listens well, synthesizes my scattered thoughts & feelings, and offers helpful tools, activities & resources to work on outside of our sessions. Danielle provides honest feedback and creates a safe space. I can feel that she genuinely cares.

Family conflict can be challenging, frustrating, draining, and difficult to face on your own. If you’re looking for support in identifying or handling conflict within your own family, you might consider connecting with a therapist. A family therapist can work with your entire family to build communication and problem-solving skills, while an individual therapist can offer you in particular a safe space to express your emotions and get constructive advice—whether online or in person.

• Improving Family Dynamics And Communication Medically reviewed by Dr. Jerry Crimmins , PsyD, LP
• Family Therapy Methods: Exploring Family Counseling Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson , MA
• Relationships and Relations

Family Problems: Unpacking the Dynamics and Finding Solutions

Family problems are something all of us grapple with, whether we’d like to admit it or not. Nobody’s family is perfect and every family faces its own unique set of challenges and hurdles. I’ve learned over time that the key isn’t about completely avoiding these issues, but rather finding effective ways to navigate through them.

Having spent years studying family dynamics, I’ve come to understand that these problems can range from simple disagreements to deep-rooted conflicts extending back generations. It’s important to remember that this doesn’t mean your family is ‘broken’ or ‘dysfunctional’. On the contrary, confronting and working through these issues can often lead to stronger bonds and deeper understanding among family members.

In this article, I’ll delve deeper into some common types of family problems many of us face and offer practical advice on how you can manage them effectively. Remember, it’s not about having a problem-free life, but learning how to deal with those problems when they do arise.

Understanding Family Problems: An Overview

Family problems. We’ve all had them, and let’s be real, they’re never fun. But it’s important to understand that these issues aren’t unique to any one household. In fact, they’re a universal experience.

To put things into perspective, family problems may arise from a multitude of factors. These range from financial difficulties to personal disagreements, health issues or even differing ideologies. It’s like a tricky puzzle that needs careful solving – each family has its own set of pieces with different shapes and sizes.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), some of the most common family issues include:

• Communication breakdown
• Parental discipline styles
• Substance abuse
• Divorce or separation
• Behavioral problems in children

Here’s an interesting piece of data from APA:

Quite a sobering table, isn’t it? But remember this – understanding is always the first step towards resolution. Afterall, you can’t solve what you don’t understand.

The good news is there are numerous resources available today for families facing such hurdles – professional counseling services, self-help books and online communities are just some examples.

So buckle up! As we delve deeper into this topic over the next few sections, I’m confident we’ll uncover ways to navigate these familial challenges together.

Common Types of Family Problems

Family problems. It’s a phrase we’ve all heard, but what does it actually mean? Well, let’s take a closer dive into the complexities that make up this term.

One common type of family problem is communication breakdown. Often times, members within a family struggle to effectively express their thoughts and feelings to each other. This can result in misunderstandings, conflicts and hurt feelings. A lack of open, honest communication can create tension and lead to further issues down the line.

Next on the list is financial stress. Many families grapple with money-related issues on a regular basis which can lead to significant strain on relationships within the family unit. Financial problems may include job loss, debt accumulation or disagreements about how funds should be managed or spent.

Substance abuse also falls under the umbrella of family problems. When one member suffers from addiction, it inevitably impacts everyone else in the family too – leading to emotional turmoil and instability at home.

Another prevalent type of issue is mental health disorders such as depression or anxiety among family members which often go unnoticed or untreated for long periods of time causing disruption in normal functioning and harmony at home.

Finally there’s divorce or separation – one of the most difficult types of familial disruptions both emotionally and logistically for everyone involved especially children who are caught in between parents’ disputes.

To summarize:

• Communication Breakdown
• Financial Stress
• Substance Abuse
• Mental Health Disorders
• Divorce or Separation

These are just few examples drawn from a vast array of potential challenges families face today. And remember, no two families are alike so what constitutes as ‘problems ‘ will vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and dynamics within each unique household.

Effects of Family Problems on Individual Members

Family problems can take a heavy toll on each member, affecting their psychological well-being, physical health and social interactions. Let’s dive deeper into these effects.

Firstly, on the emotional front, family issues often lead to stress and anxiety. It’s not uncommon for individuals to feel overwhelmed, resulting in sleep problems or mood swings. For children especially, this constant state of tension may lead to behavioral issues at school or home.

The impact isn’t just emotional – it’s physical too. Research has shown that ongoing family strife can manifest as health issues like headaches, high blood pressure or digestive problems. One study found that adults from broken homes were 44% more likely to suffer from a stroke compared with those from stable families.

Socially speaking, these internal struggles can seep into one’s external relationships as well. They may create barriers when forming new relationships or strain existing ones with friends or partners.

Let me share some statistics:

We need to bear in mind though that these figures represent averages and there will always be individual deviations based on personal resilience and available support structures.

In conclusion (without actually saying “in conclusion”), I’ll note how vital it is for families facing difficulties to seek professional help if necessary – therapists and counselors can provide valuable guidance toward resolution and healing.

How to Identify and Address Family Conflicts

Family conflicts can often bubble up without us even realizing it. It’s crucial to be aware of these issues, as addressing them promptly can help maintain a harmonious family environment.

One common indicator of family conflict is consistent disagreement. If you find your family gatherings marred by constant bickering or discord over trivial matters, it’s likely there’s some deeper issue at play. It could be resentment brewing under the surface or unresolved past conflicts making their presence felt.

Another sign could be withdrawal from family activities. When someone in the household begins avoiding spending time with others, it may signal an underlying problem. Whether they’re feeling left out, unheard, or emotionally overwhelmed – such behavior could point towards a potential family conflict.

Now that we’ve identified these signs let’s talk about addressing them:

• Open Communication: Encourage everyone in the house to express their feelings and concerns openly. Make sure they know that it’s okay to disagree sometimes.
• Active Listening: Ensure all parties involved feel heard and understood during discussions about conflicts.
• Seek External Help: If the situation seems too overwhelming for you to handle alone, considering seeking professional guidance from therapists or counselors who specialize in resolving family issues.

Remember, ignoring problems won’t make them disappear magically; instead, it exacerbates them over time. By recognizing and confronting these issues head-on, we have a better chance of fostering peace within our households and strengthening familial bonds.

Strategies for Resolving Family Issues

Family issues, we’ve all got ’em. They’re as common as the cold and can be just as tricky to shake off. But don’t despair! With the right strategies in place, you might find these problems easier to tackle than you’d think.

First off, let’s talk about communication. It’s often at the root of many family conflicts. We’re not mind readers after all, so how else can we understand each other? Regular family meetings can serve as a great platform for everyone to voice their concerns and frustrations in a controlled environment. Remember though, it’s crucial that everyone gets a chance to speak and is treated with respect during these discussions.

Secondly, try practicing empathy. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes for a change. Seeing things from another perspective can lead to some surprising revelations and help defuse tense situations.

Thirdly, consider seeking professional help if needed. There should be no shame or stigma attached to this option. Therapists are trained professionals who can provide valuable insights and advice on handling family disputes.

Lastly but by no means least: patience! Change doesn’t happen overnight and old habits die hard – so give it time !

So there you have it – my top tips for resolving family issues:

• Regular Communication
• Professional Help

Remember these aren’t definitive solutions but rather strategies that could potentially alleviate some of those pesky familial tensions.

Professional Help for Serious Family Problems

Let’s face it, we all have our fair share of family problems. Sometimes they’re small, other times they can be quite serious. But when those problems start to become overwhelming, it’s often best to seek professional help. Psychiatrists, therapists and social workers are trained to handle a wide range of family issues – from marital conflicts to behavioral issues in children.

Family therapy is one such resource that families can tap into. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), nearly 90% of clients report an improvement in their emotional health after pursuing therapy. This form of intervention allows every member of the family to voice their thoughts and feelings in a safe environment.

But therapy isn’t the only avenue available for families facing troubles. Support groups also offer a valuable lifeline for individuals grappling with similar issues. These communities provide much-needed comfort, practical advice and reassurance that you’re not alone in your struggles.

For more severe cases where there’s risk involved – such as domestic violence or child abuse – immediate action is crucial. Organizations like the National Domestic Violence Hotline or Child Protective Services are equipped to intervene promptly and ensure safety.

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline : Provides round-the-clock support through phone calls or online chats.
• Child Protective Services (CPS) : An agency dedicated towards ensuring child welfare.

Ultimately, remember this: It’s okay to ask for help when things get tough at home. There are plenty of professionals out there ready and willing to lend a hand. Seeking assistance isn’t a sign of weakness; instead, it shows courage – acknowledging there’s an issue is already half the battle won!

Case Studies: Families Overcoming Difficulties

Let’s dive into some real-life examples of families who’ve faced serious difficulties, and most importantly, how they managed to overcome them. It’s crucial to remember that each family is unique, with their own set of challenges and coping mechanisms.

Meet the Andersons. They’re a middle-aged couple with two kids in high school. Life was sailing smooth until Mr. Anderson lost his job unexpectedly. This sudden loss of income shook their stability and led to significant financial stress within the family unit. But, they didn’t let this setback define them. Instead, they took it as an opportunity for change – Mrs. Anderson returned to work part-time while Mr. Anderson started his own small business.

Next up are the Garcias – a large extended family living under one roof consisting of grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren alike! Their challenge? Communication gaps and generational clashes were tearing at their familial bonds almost daily due to diverse age groups within one household. Their solution? Regular ‘family meetings’ where everyone had an open platform to voice their concerns or issues without judgement or interruption.

Last but not least are the Smiths – a single mother with three young children struggling with time management between work responsibilities and childcare duties after her recent divorce. Her solution? She sought out professional counseling services that helped her develop effective strategies for balancing work-life responsibilities along with nurturing emotional health during this challenging transition period.

These examples serve to remind us that problems within the family unit can be varied and complex, but they’re certainly not insurmountable. It’s all about identifying the issues, being open to seeking help, and most importantly – believing in one’s ability to overcome.

Conclusion: Turning Challenges into Opportunities

The road may be rocky, but let’s not forget that family problems can serve as catalysts for growth and change. I’ve seen it happen time and again. Families, riddled with issues, find a way to turn these challenges into opportunities.

When dealing with family problems, it’s important to remember that every challenge is an opportunity in disguise. For instance:

• A strained relationship can strengthen bonds over time. It might push us out of our comfort zones and force us to communicate more effectively.
• Financial difficulties could lead us to discover new ways of budgeting or even inspire a career shift.
• Disagreements on how to raise children might make us re-evaluate our own values and beliefs.

It’s important not just to focus on the negative aspects of these situations. Instead, see them as chances for personal growth and improved relationships within the family.

Overcoming family problems requires patience, understanding, and resilience. These are traits that we can cultivate during tough times. Once honed, they become invaluable tools in navigating life’s ups and downs.

Remember this: families aren’t perfect because perfection doesn’t exist in any human endeavor. We’re all works-in-progress learning from our experiences – both good and bad! So let’s take those challenges head-on.

• View each challenge as an opportunity for growth.
• Cultivate patience, understanding, and resilience during difficult times.
• Remember that no family is perfect; we’re all learning together!

By adopting this mindset toward any problem you encounter within your family unit you’ll start seeing them less as insurmountable obstacles but rather stepping stones towards better communication skills or stronger relationships between members.

In the end, it’s about changing how we perceive these issues – by turning challenges into opportunities for development – which could ultimately lead to harmonious familial relations down the line!

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• Family Life

How to Deal With Family Problems

Last Updated: June 14, 2024

This article was co-authored by Tasha Rube, LMSW . Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014. This article has been viewed 362,873 times.

Death, addiction, money troubles, mental illness, separation/divorce, and transitional adjustments all take a toll on the members of a family. During stressful events or when the family’s resources are severely taxed, problems may not be resolved easily. This may lead to hostile disagreements, tension, and resentment. Conflict in the family can affect everyone’s functioning. Handle your family problems by learning effective problem-solving skills.

Developing Healthy Problem-Solving

• Schedule a meeting at a time that is most convenient for everyone. Make everyone aware of the purpose of the meeting and that you want them to arrive with suggestions and solutions at the ready.
• Be mindful that young children may be a hindrance to a family meeting. Huddle them in a separate room if you expect tempers to flair or sensitive information to be discussed.
• Therapists often suggest holding regular family meetings. [1] X Research source This tactic enables family members to bring issues out in the open before resentments develop. Talking with your family regularly can improve communication and the bond that you share.

• Strive to uncover what is important about the current problem. Building a case or bringing up old misdeeds will not assist you in resolving this issue.

• Remember, you are aiming to de-escalate the conflict and work towards a solution. Using “I” statements allows everyone to express themselves while showing respect for others listening. Making an “I” statements allows each person to take ownership of what they are feeling, and suggest a remedy for the problem at the same time.
• Examples of “I” statements include: “I am worried that our family is falling apart. I would like us to work things out.” or “I get scared when Dad drinks a lot because he starts yelling. I wish he could stop drinking”.

• Effective listening allows the other person to feel heard, motivates the other parties to want to listen to you, defuses arguments and strong emotions, and rebuilds the relationship during the conflict.

• Validate your family members by saying something like “I’m really glad you felt comfortable enough to share this with me” or “I appreciate your willingness to work towards a solution”.

Recognizing Communication Roadblocks

• For some people, conflict causes them to become hostile and defensive. This is the “fight” aspect of the physiological “fight or flight” response. These individuals may argue endlessly to remove any responsibility from themselves, or refuse to hear others’ points-of-view.
• Others resort to the “flight” aspect. These individuals may run from conflict at all costs. They may deny there’s a problem or believe there’s nothing they can do to resolve it anyway. Such family members may pretend as if they don’t notice any tension in the household, or downplay its effect on them.

• First work on trying to identify your emotions. Consider what thoughts you’re having, what you feel in your body, and what actions you want to take? For example, maybe you’re thinking “I hate this family.” Your fists are clenched and you want to punch something. Such a strong emotion could be labeled as anger or contempt.
• Next, aim to control and ease these strong emotions so that you can effectively problem-solve. Depending on how you’re feeling participate in a complementary activity to ease your discomfort. For example, if you are sad, you might want to watch a funny movie. If you are angry, it might be helpful to vent to a friend or engage in intense physical activity.

• Using “I” statements are one of the best strategies for minimizing blame and subsequent defensiveness. Say “I fear that your addiction will lead to someone getting hurt” rather than “Addicts are just dangerous people to be around”

John Keegan

The blame game won't lead to anything productive. That's why it's so important to speak your mind clearly and respectfully, and to actively listen when other people share their viewpoints.

Expert Q&A

• Your family consists of some of the most important relationships in your life. Having continuous conflict in this area can drastically affect your life satisfaction. If you cannot resolve family issues, seek professional help. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

Tips from our Readers

• Sometimes, creating distance by leaving is the healthiest thing you can do. Not all family members are inherently trustworthy, beautiful, or helpful, and getting some space can keep a bad problem from getting worse.
• Understand that it is not always your fault. Don't get upset or angry if someone gets on your nerves and you didn't do anything wrong.

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201209/10-tips-holding-family-meeting
• ↑ https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/luve-a-five-step-communication-process-for-conflict-resolution/validation-is-the-third-step-to-conflict-resolution-in-luve
• ↑ https://www.webmd.com/balance/family-therapy-6301
• ↑ https://www.drnadig.com/conflict.htm

About This Article

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

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Family Problems

Common Concerns and Symptoms

Psychotherapy for family problems, case examples.

Ideally, our families are those whom we can always rely on for support, from whom we draw strength and feedback, for whom we feel love and concern, and with whom we feel close and comfortable, openly sharing thoughts and feelings. In reality, few families meet this expectation 100% of the time, and in some cases, a person’s family is far from ideal, associated instead with stress , misunderstanding, anger , disconnection, and unmet needs. From our family of origin, we develop our expectations of others, communication skills, outlook on life, ability to give and receive love, and coping skills, among myriad other traits, and chronic family problems can have lasting effects.

Family problems from mild to severe will challenge every family at some point. These can result from behavioral and mental health issues in the family or from specific stressful events. Common family problems include:

• Substance abuse
• Behavioral issues and academic concerns in children and adolescents
• Mental health concerns
• Separation, divorce , or blended family adjustments
• Chronic illness

Whatever the source, distressing family dynamics can greatly interfere with the functioning of every family member, including extended family, although those living in the same household are likely to be impacted more significantly than those who live apart. When family members do not get along, the tension can impact each family member’s mental and physical health, relationships, and even his or her capacity for routine tasks. Evidence of family problems can materialize through repeated family conflicts, dramatic behavioral shifts in children and adolescents , mood swings and depression .

Fortunately, resolving family issues require the cooperation of everyone in the family, and this provides a great opportunity to strengthen family ties and interactions.

Family therapy is designed to help families collaborate to address family problems. The course of treatment is often brief, and most family therapy models seek to address the communication (verbal and nonverbal) styles of the family, as well as any individual issues that may be interfering with the cohesiveness of the family system. Family problems do not have to be severe to warrant therapy. Working with a therapist , families can expect to learn to understand one another better, communicate more effectively, and work proactively to disrupt unhealthy patterns.

Ideally, family problems are addressed as they surface, but many times family problems are not handled in a timely fashion and sometimes not at all; instead, issues surrounding an event or family pattern may surface for family members later in life. Family-of-origin concerns are frequently addressed as part of individual therapy, whether the person enters therapy expressly for that purpose or for other concerns.

• Troubled teen: The Jay family brings their daughter, Amelia, 13, in for therapy due to her “anger problem.” In session with her parents, as the parents discuss Amelia’s poor behavior, Amelia is by turns withdrawn and sullen, then suddenly talkative, sarcastic, and silly. Alone with the therapist in the second session, she is quiet and sad, but more direct and focused. The therapist begins family sessions again, this time asking that Amelia’s younger brother attend as well and concentrating on communication patterns between the members of the family. Although the parents insist Amelia is the reason for their visit, with their young son in session Amelia is sweet and attends to him while the parent seem to have little to say to one another and barely make eye contact. The therapist is able to point this out to them privately, and soon begins couples therapy with them, seeing Amelia separately and not discussing her anger with her unless she brings it up, which she doesn’t. After two or three months, the family is getting along much better, and the parents have identified several areas of their marriage to work on in therapy.
• Adult sibling conflict: John, 47, seeks help to deal with his conflict with his adult siblings and parents. They seem to fight constantly whenever they are together, and his parents call him daily to “criticize” and “put me down.” The therapist takes a history and finds John’s family has always functioned somewhat like this, and informs John that there isn’t anything the therapist can do to change John’s family, but that she is willing to help John learn how better to deal with his family and the emotions John feels. John agrees to this, and the therapist works with him on communicating, self-care skills (such as eating right, relaxation meditation, and positive internal messages), and boundary-setting.

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Common family issues & how to deal with them, from experts.

No family is perfect, but for people whose family life has never been outright "bad," it can be tricky to spot family issues as they arise. Family problems are much more than abuse or addiction, for example, and include a host of different things that affect every member of a family. Here's how to spot family issues and deal with them, according to experts.

What are family issues? 

Family problems or issues include any sort of dynamic, behavior, and/or pattern that disrupts the household or family at large. They can range from smaller, more common challenges like clashing personalities or divvying up household chores, to more intense issues like having a narcissistic parent , abuse, or intergenerational trauma, according to licensed psychotherapist  Babita Spinelli, L.P.

The main thing with any family issue is that it creates stress and tension within the family, which in turn negatively affects the members of that family, particularly if there are young children involved.

Types of family issues:

Clashing and/or toxic personalities.

Starting off basic, it's far from uncommon for a family to have clashing personalities. Perhaps siblings don't get along with one another, or one child doesn't get along with one or both parents, psychotherapist  Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT, tells mbg.

This can go a big step further when you're dealing with someone who displays narcissistic tendencies or other toxic traits , Spinelli adds, which introduces a bunch of other issues into the family unit, such as gaslighting or explosive fighting.

Poor communication

Nuñez and Spinelli both note that lack of open and healthy communication is at the root of many more general family problems. As Spinelli explains, if it's really difficult to actually speak to a family member, if there are trust issues , if they dismiss you, or issues get swept under the rug, those are all family issues surrounding communication.

Heavy pressure from parents

Perfectionism within a family can have extremely negative effects on children and their self-worth. As Nuñez notes, when parents shame or dictate how children should feel or be, it can take a toll on their ability to grow as individuals. "Parents do need to have some boundaries but not when it gets to the point where it's emotionally abusive," she explains.

Things like conditional love, or a deep sense of pressure to meet the expectations of your family, indicate some family issues, Spinelli adds. It could even lead to what's known as golden child syndrome .

Different parenting styles

One of the biggest hurdles of parenting as a couple is figuring out how to combine your parenting styles in an effective way. When you can't, it can cause some problems.

"It can cause a lot of tension when parents aren't on the same page with parenting," Nuñez tells mbg. And if you're dealing with extended family, Spinelli adds, having the input of in-laws when it comes to your parenting can also cause some problems.

So many families will deal with challenges surrounding finances, budgeting, and employment. Spinelli says money problems can include one parent making all the money and feeling burdened, not having enough basic funds for what you need, generational issues around poverty or gambling, and so much more. Money touches most areas of our life, and if there are issues here, the effects will be felt within any family.

Managing the household

It might seem juvenile, but chores really matter. If one person is carrying the weight of maintaining the household , that's a lot of responsibility and pressure. Nuñez notes it's important for household labor to be divided up in a fair and age-appropriate way, so one parent doesn't feel taken advantage of, and children begin learning how to take care of themselves.

Unchecked addiction or mental health issues

If a parent (or even a child) is dealing with mental health issues or addiction, that can cause a huge rift within a family unit. It's important for those things to not only be addressed but also talked about in an open and honest way.

As Nuñez explains, "If a parent feels like they're hiding mental illness or any type of substance abuse from a child, kids pick up on that. They pick up on those nonverbal cues of inconsistency, and children do need consistency to have a strong family foundation and feel secure."

Constant arguing

If you grew up thinking constant arguing was normal, according to Spinelli, it's very much not. "Some people don't realize that the constant bickering and arguing is actually an issue—they're just so used to it. They don't realize that when there's yelling or screaming and arguing, that actually creates stress and tension."

It's not uncommon, but yes, divorce certainly does disrupt a family unit and can cause problems when it's swept under the rug. "You'd be surprised how many people haven't processed divorce in the family," Spinelli says, adding, "It really does impact how you see relationships, and models fears around relationships, and often people don't even talk about it in the family."

While it can be hard to avoid, distance within a family can cause a lot of issues around expectations and boundaries, according to Spinelli. For example, as the holidays approach, there are often arguments around who's visiting whom, why someone has decided not to visit that year, and so on, she explains.

Codependency

" Codependency comes in all shapes and sizes," Spinelli tells mbg. While some instances of codependency are mild, the more enmeshment you find within a family, the more the individual members of that family will have a hard time distinguishing their own wants, needs, and desires, she says.

Scheduling conflicts

Nuñez notes that another common family issue is scheduling conflicts. If one or more family members has a busy schedule, it can be hard to connect together and make time for each other. This can look like one parent who works long hours and is rarely home during the day, or issues with scheduling as children get more involved with extracurriculars, she explains.

Intergenerational trauma

Last but not least, intergenerational trauma is a huge, often unaddressed family problem that stems back through generations. According to Spinelli, if past generations experienced things like extreme poverty, racial trauma, sudden death, addiction, mental health issues, and so much more, all of that can be passed down through generations.

"If something has happened in the previous generation, and that family member never dealt with it, that fight-or-flight and what they went through seeps into the other family members," Spinelli says.

How family issues affect us.

There are so many ways all of the aforementioned family issues can affect the members of that family, particularly children in their formative years of life. For example, "Children may start having behavioral issues, which then in return causes parents to get upset and the kids act out more," Nuñez explains. And that's just one more immediate example.

Our childhood experiences play out in adulthood through attachment wounds , as we bring those dysfunctional patterns into our adult relationships, she adds. "Let's say a parent leaves at a developmental age where a child needs a parent, for example. That brings up abandonment issues ," she notes.

Overall, a significant number of unaddressed family issues can make people feel that they don't have true safety in their lives, Spinelli says. "It's going to lead into attachment issues. Maybe they've dealt with abuse, neglect, abandonment, which has created an insecure attachment . They may also become an avoidant because they've never been modeled unconditional love by their primary caregiver," she explains.

Signs of family issues:

• Difficulty with open, honest, and healthy communication
• Frequent fights or bickering
• Frequent yelling and screaming
• Passive-aggressive behavior
• An absent parent or parents (physically and/or emotionally)
• Abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, and/or verbal abuse )
• Codependent behavior and/or enmeshment
• Struggles around finances or employment
• Perfectionism or high standards within the family
• Disagreements on household chores, parenting styles, etc.
• Tension in the household for no clear reason
• Difficulty trusting family members

What to do if you're dealing with family issues:

Identify what the specific issue is..

If you're getting the sense that you're dealing with some family dysfunction, the first thing you'll want to do is get clear on what specifically you're dealing with. Is it controlling parents ? Scheduling conflicts? Lack of communication?

Whatever the issue, Nuñez and Spinelli both note recognizing it is the first step. From there, you can begin processing how you want to bring it up to your family members, which brings us to our next point.

Talk about it.

Nothing gets solved by sweeping it under the rug, and family issues are no exception. Nuñez and Spinelli both say you'll want to address any issues weighing on your mind, even if it's not easy.

"Give yourself permission to say 'Hey, I feel angry or resentful, and I need to talk about this,'" Spinelli says. And as Nuñez notes, you can soften the blow using language that's not directed at them, opting for "I" statements, rather than "you" statements (i.e., "I feel sad when you miss dinner," instead of "You always miss dinner; you're so inconsiderate.")

Nuñez also adds that it's a good idea to pick a low-stress time when you can give each other your undivided attention and energy. (So, probably not around the holidays.)

Consider seeking professional help.

Once you've aired out some of your concerns, it may be necessary to ask for the help of a professional. Whether you opt for individual therapy, couples' therapy , or family therapy is up to you and your family, but any of them can certainly help in understanding how family problems have affected you—and how to deal with them.

"And even if a family doesn't go to therapy, it's important for every person to feel like they have a voice in their family, and to speak up, and to really voice what they need within that unit," Nuñez says.

Set boundaries.

And last but certainly not least, when all else fails, boundaries with family are a necessity in keeping a family dynamic as healthy as possible for everyone. "Really think about the ways you can set boundaries and give yourself permission," Spinelli says.

Whether you opt out of going to every family gathering, keep your distance from family members who make you uncomfortable or angry, or simply tell a family member when their behavior is unacceptable to you, Spinelli says you're completely in your right to do so.

The bottom line.

No family is without a little dysfunction. After all, it was spiritual icon Ram Dass who once said, "'If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family."

But no matter how many problems your family seems to be facing, all it takes is one of you to identify the problems at hand, work through them, and break the chain for future generations.

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7 Situations That Cause Family Conflict And How To Fix Them

What’s the one thing that can make or break a family? It’s not love, it’s not loyalty, it’s not even money. 

It’s conflicts. Family conflicts can arise from the most unexpected places and can threaten to tear families apart. 

As a family therapist with years of experience, I’ve seen my fair share of family conflicts and the impact they can have on everyone involved. That’s why I’ve decided to write this article on the most common situations that cause family conflict. 

By understanding these scenarios, you can take proactive steps to prevent conflicts or resolve them effectively. So, buckle up and get ready to explore the most common family conflict scenarios.

What Are Family Conflicts?

Family conflicts are situations where there is a disagreement or dispute between family members. 

These conflicts can arise due to a variety of reasons, such as differences in opinions, beliefs, values, or even lifestyles. 

They can occur between parents and children, siblings, extended family members, and even between in-laws.

Signs Of Unhealthy Family Conflict

If family conflicts are not handled in a healthy way, they can become ongoing issues that can damage relationships and cause long-term harm. Here are some signs that your family conflicts are not being handled healthily:

• You frequently engage in passive-aggressive behaviors.
• You and your family members tend to sweep issues “under the rug” instead of addressing them.
• You and your family members engage in frequent bickering and/or fighting.
• Disagreements between you and your family members frequently escalate to yelling or screaming.
• There are frequent periods where you or some members of your family aren’t speaking to others.
• There is a lack of trust between you and your family members.
• You or your family members exhibit codependent behavior.
• There is any form of abuse present in your family dynamic.

7 Common Causes Of Family Conflict

Family conflicts are a common occurrence, and they can arise due to various reasons. In this section, we will discuss six situations that are known to cause family conflicts.

Financial Concerns

Money is one of the most common causes of family conflict . Financial matters can be a source of stress and anxiety for many families, and disagreements over finances can quickly escalate into heated arguments or even lead to divorce. Some of the common financial issues that can cause conflict between family members or spouses include money management, inheritance disputes, and debt and loans.

Here are some real-life scenarios that illustrate how money can cause conflict in families:

• A couple disagrees on how to spend their money, with one partner wanting to save for a down payment on a home and the other wanting to take a vacation.
• Siblings argue over how to divide the inheritance left by their parents, with some wanting a larger share of the assets than others.
• A family member loans money to another family member, but the borrower fails to pay back the loan, causing tension and resentment in the family.
• A couple has different attitudes toward debt, with one partner wanting to pay off credit cards and the other wanting to take out a loan for a new car.

Communication Patterns And Unresolved Issues

When one member of the family or couple feels like they are not being heard or understood, they may become defensive or withdraw from the conversation altogether. This can create a cycle of negative communication patterns where the same issues are repeatedly brought up, but never resolved.

Here are some real-life scenarios that demonstrate how communication patterns and unresolved issues can cause conflict:

 – Interrupting or talking over each other

– Ignoring or dismissing each other’s concerns

– Using negative body language

– Making assumptions about each other’s intentions

– Avoiding difficult conversations

– Holding grudges and not forgiving

– Blaming each other for problems

– Failing to communicate expectations clearly

Personal Differences

Personal differences can often lead to conflict within a family or between spouses. When individuals have different lifestyles, values, or beliefs, misunderstandings can arise, leading to tension and stress . Personality clashes can also be a source of conflict, especially when family members have different ways of communicating or dealing with conflict.

– A couple with different religious beliefs may struggle to agree on how to raise their children, leading to arguments and tension.

– Two siblings who have different political views may end up avoiding each other or arguing during family gatherings.

– A husband and wife with different sleep schedules may struggle to find a routine that works for both of them, causing resentment and frustration.

– A family member who follows a strict vegan diet may feel disrespected or left out when others make fun of their food choices.

– A teenager with different interests than their parents may feel misunderstood or unsupported, leading to rebellious behavior.

Family Roles and Responsibilities

Family roles and responsibilities can cause conflicts in families. These conflicts happen because parents have different ways of raising children and communicating. Expectations and responsibilities can cause frustration. 

This can happen if one family member feels overwhelmed. It can also happen if there are differences in financial support. Taking care of elderly family members can be a sensitive issue. It can lead to conflicts about medical care and living arrangements. 

Recognizing these potential areas of tension can help families handle these issues. They can work on communication and maintain strong relationships.

Life Changes

Life changes can sometimes cause conflicts within families. As we go through various changes in our lives, our loved ones may not always understand or accept our decisions. Here are some examples of life changes that can cause conflicts within families:

• Moving to a new city or country without consulting family members
• Starting a new job or career that may not align with family expectations
• Going through a breakup or divorce that may affect the family dynamic
• Losing a loved one and dealing with grief in different ways
• Facing a health issue or illness that may require support and understanding from family members

Inheritance and Estate Planning

Inheritance and estate planning can be a sensitive topic. This is especially true when it comes to the unequal distribution of assets. Family members can feel disputes arise when they have been treated unfairly. Or, when the will or trust is not clear or specific enough. 

It’s important to carefully consider how you want to distribute your assets. Communicate your wishes clearly to avoid any confusion or conflicts in the future. 

Seek advice from a professional in estate planning. You can help ensure that your wishes are carried out as intended.

Chronic Health And Mental Health Issues

Chronic health and mental health issues can put a significant strain on families. When a family member is affected, it can be challenging and emotionally draining for everyone involved. Here are some common situations that can cause family conflicts in such cases:

• When a family member falls ill or develops a chronic condition, their roles and responsibilities in the family may change. 
• Chronic health conditions can be expensive, and family members may disagree on how to manage the associated costs.
• A lack of knowledge or understanding about a family member’s condition can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
• Caring for a family member with a chronic health condition can be emotionally taxing, leading to conflicts and stress.
• Mental health issues, in particular, can be stigmatized and misunderstood, leading to conflicts within families.

Tips On Interacting With Difficult Family Members

Dealing with challenging family members can be tricky, but there are ways to make it smoother. First off, try listening to what they’re saying—it can defuse tension. Keep your cool, too; it helps, even when things get tough. 

Choose your battles wisely; not every disagreement needs a big fight. Let them know your limits by setting boundaries. Find something you both like—it could be a show, a game, anything. Shared interests can make things better. 

And don’t forget about yourself; take a break when you need it. You matter too!

How To Deal With The Grief Of Ending A Relationship

• Feel your emotions; it’s okay to be sad, angry, or confused after a breakup.
• Seek support from friends, family, or a counselor for a listening ear and emotional help.
• Set clear boundaries with your ex-partner to allow space and time for healing.
• Prioritize self-care through activities that bring joy and relaxation.
• Reflect on lessons learned from the relationship for personal growth.
• Avoid blame or guilt; relationships are complex, and it’s okay not to shoulder all the burden.
• Consider professional help if grief becomes overwhelming.
• Be patient and compassionate with yourself; healing takes time.

How To Resolve Family Conflicts

Family fights happen, but fixing them is important for a happy family. Let’s learn simple steps to handle family problems.

Accept What You Can And Cannot Control

Understand that some things you can’t change. Focus on handling your feelings and know that accepting the situation is the first step to fixing family issues.

Let Any Anger Subside

Before talking about the problem, give yourself time to calm down. Waiting helps you have a better and more helpful conversation when you discuss the issue with your family.

Try To Understand Other Family Members’ Perspectives

Put yourself in their shoes. Think about how they see things. This makes it easier to talk and work together to solve family problems.

Understand How It Affects The Whole Family

Think about how the fight impacts everyone. Realizing the bigger picture shows that everyone needs to help find solutions for a happy family.

Use “I” Instead Of “You”

When you talk about your feelings or concerns, use “I” instead of “you.” This way, it’s less likely to make others feel defensive. It helps create a good environment to solve family issues.

Recognize That Some Issues Aren’t Worth Fighting Over

Choose your battles. Some fights are not worth feeling upset. Letting go of small problems helps keep your family happier and more peaceful.

Try Reaching Out Rather Than Withdrawing

Don’t step back; reach out. Instead of staying away, talk to your family. It shows you want to fix things and have a good talk to solve family problems.

Work As A Team

Think of fixing problems like a team game. Work together with your family to find answers. It’s important to show how everyone in the family can help and work together.

Seek Professional Help And Support If Needed

If your family problems keep going, ask for help. Talk to someone who can help you all talk and understand each other better. This person can help your family find good solutions.

Minimize Or End Contact Completely If Nothing Helps

If things don’t get better, think about seeing less of each other. It’s okay to stop talking if it’s not helping. Taking care of how you feel is important in these situations.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy is like a helpful space to talk and fix problems in your family. Therapists, like the ones at Psychicare , can guide you to understand each other better. Psychicare has online counseling, so you can get support from your home. They use special plans to make your family stronger, help you talk more, and handle tough times, making your family happier.

Frequently Asked Questions About Family Conflicts

How can you fix problems with your parents.

To solve issues with your parents, talk calmly about your feelings. Share what’s on your mind, and listen to what they have to say. Finding common ground helps make your relationship stronger.

How can you help with your parent’s stress?

Support your parents by showing you care. Offer to help with tasks or spend time together. Let them talk about their feelings – it can ease stress and show them they’re not alone.

Why do you feel stressed around your family?

It’s okay to feel stressed around family sometimes. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, like a friend or a teacher. Sharing your emotions can help you feel better.

Can family conflict make you feel sad or depressed?

Yes, ongoing family conflicts can make you feel down. If you’re struggling, talk to someone you trust or seek professional help to find better ways to cope.

What’s bad about family conflicts?

Family conflicts can lead to stress, strained relationships, and feeling upset. It’s important to address conflicts early to minimize these effects on your well-being.

How can family conflicts affect your feelings?

Family conflicts can make you feel stressed and upset. It’s important to talk about your feelings and get support from friends, family, or a counselor.

How can you fix family conflicts?

To fix family conflicts, talk openly, listen, and find compromises. If needed, seek professional help. Creating a supportive family environment is crucial.

What can you do to move on after family fights?

Moving on after family disputes involves forgiveness, understanding, and talking openly. Focus on rebuilding relationships and creating a healthier family dynamic.

What causes misunderstandings in families?

Misunderstandings happen when people don’t communicate well. Talk openly and listen to prevent and resolve misunderstandings in your family.

How do you deal with unresolved family conflicts?

Dealing with unresolved family conflicts involves talking openly and seeking solutions. If needed, get support from friends, family, or a counselor.

What are some reasons for family conflicts?

Common reasons for family conflicts include miscommunication, financial stress, different values, and unmet expectations. Addressing these issues helps prevent conflicts.

How do you handle family conflict?

Handling family conflict means staying calm, talking, and listening. Find compromises and prioritize open communication to build a healthier family relationship.

How does moodiness cause family conflict?

Moodiness can lead to conflicts. Communicate openly about feelings, express needs, and work together to find solutions for a more harmonious family dynamic.

How does family conflict affect you as a child?

Family conflicts can affect your feelings and behavior. Create a positive environment, talk openly, and get support to cope with family challenges.

How does family conflict cause social anxiety?

Family conflicts can create stress that impacts your confidence in social situations. Address conflicts, talk about feelings, and build a supportive network to manage social anxiety.

What are 5 effects of conflict in your family?

Family conflicts can lead to stress, strained relationships, emotional distress, communication breakdown, and a negative impact on your well-being. Address conflicts promptly to minimize these effects.

How can you help elderly parents during family conflicts?

Helping elderly parents during family conflicts involves patience and understanding. Communicate openly, address their needs, and seek professional advice if needed.

How does family therapy work for conflict?

Family therapy for conflict involves talking with a professional to address and resolve family issues. The therapist helps improve communication and develop healthier family dynamics.

How can you find family conflict counseling near you?

To find family conflict counseling nearby, search online psychicare for recommendations. Their counselors offer virtual sessions for convenient access.

What’s the difference between a family crisis and a family conflict?

A family crisis is a sudden challenge, while a family conflict involves ongoing disagreements. Deal with crises immediately, while conflicts can be resolved through open communication and compromise.

How do you handle family conflicts between siblings?

Handle conflicts between siblings by encouraging open communication and finding compromises. Express feelings to foster a positive relationship.

How do you set boundaries in your family to prevent conflict?

Setting clear boundaries in your family involves communicating expectations openly, respecting individual space, and encouraging open dialogue for a healthier family dynamic.

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7 Strategies to Deal With Difficult Family Members

Here's how to maintain your integrity in family relationships..

Posted February 22, 2018 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

• Not getting along with a family member may strain other familial relationships, making it hard to separate oneself entirely.
• Trying to fix a difficult family member can be impossible. The more one tries to do so, the more demands the difficult person makes.
• It's important to recognize (and stop) an interaction with a difficult family member when it's no longer about solutions and only about winning.

Difficult people are everywhere, like it or not. It’s pretty certain that at some point in your life, you’ll come across a challenging person and will have to find a way to deal with them. It would be easy to think, “Why bother?” if being around them causes you grief . But it’s not as easy as that. Sometimes we’re just forced into situations we have little control over.

Being related is one such circumstance. In fact, family members are often the hardest to deal with, because they’re connected to us in a more complicated, intimate way. With difficult acquaintances like friends, colleagues, lovers, or neighbors, you may have to deal with them for a time, either until a conflict between you is resolved, or you are able to remove yourself from the situation. With family, we are almost obligated to go the extra mile for the sake of the integrity of the family group. In other words, personal relationships may affect the family as a whole. If you don’t get along with a family member, it may very well put stress and strain on other familial relationships.

So what do you do with those people you may not like very much and may not choose to have in your life, but are forced to deal with because they’re family?

1. Don’t try to fix the difficult person.

Accept them exactly as they are. (This applies to all difficult people, not just family.) It’s tempting to try to help someone you want to care about; you probably will make some efforts to help them. Sometimes it works, but often your efforts will not be rewarded. In fact, trying to fix someone or make their life better may become a huge headache, since the more you do for them, the more they want from you.

Accept that they are unable to change, at least at this point in time. Unless you see real change — proof that this person is making an effort to listen and meet you halfway — you can assume that their behavior is what it has always been. It’s important to temper your expectations about what others can and want to do.

2. Be present and direct.

Know that a person who is trying to stir up conflict can easily set you off emotionally, and even physically, possibly raising your heart rate and blood pressure. Try to avoid getting into a fight-or-flight response, which inevitably leads to becoming defensive. You do not want an argument or heated discussion. Stay true to yourself, grounded in your own integrity. Be direct and assertive when you express yourself. Stay focused on how you respond. Know when the discussion or argument has accelerated to the point of no return — meaning it’s no longer about conflict resolution, but just about winning. If it gets to this point, stop the interaction, and leave the conversation.

3. Do encourage difficult people to express themselves.

Let them fully state their point of view about the issue/conflict/problem without interruption. Why do they feel judged or criticized by others? What do they feel people misunderstand about them? What do they want or expect from others? The idea is to remain as neutral as possible. Just listening, rather than trying to engage, may be enough to allow someone to feel like they have the opportunity to say what’s on their mind. Showing respect for another’s differences may go a very long way.

4. Watch for trigger topics.

Inevitably there will be topics that represent points of disagreement and disharmony. Know what these topics are, and be extremely aware when these are brought up. Your past experiences should help you, especially when you are confronted with these delicate subjects. Be prepared to address these issues in a direct, non-confrontational way or to deflect the conflict if the atmosphere becomes too heated.

5. Know that some topics are absolutely off-limits.

Period. History and experiences should tell you that these subjects should be avoided at all costs. That’s not to say that important issues should be permanently avoided. Rather, if your experience dealing with certain issues has left you stressed out or emotionally depleted, and the discussion has not progressed sufficiently along to represent a rapprochement, then it’s best to avoid the discussion until a time when both parties are willing to move it forward in a constructive way.

6. It’s not about you — usually.

Yes, it’s hard not to take things personally, especially when you’re attacked or made to feel responsible for someone else. But if you look at the anatomy of a conflict, you can see how these often play out. Notice how people progressively move through a discussion or argument. Usually, it initially centers around a specific topic/disagreement/response that made a person upset. If allowed to continue, the argument can become heated, accelerating quickly to personal attacks (which often includes trying to make you feel responsible or guilty for not responding the way someone wants you to). If you have been through this kind of interaction before, make a concerted effort to imagine it unfolding before it actually does — and then nip it in the bud.

7. Your own well-being comes first.

While you want to be respectful and attentive to others as much as you can, you don’t want to bend over backwards or twist yourself into a knot just to make someone else happy or satisfied, or to keep the peace. Never allow any personal interaction or relationship to infringe upon or challenge your own well-being. Visualize your boundaries , that protective territory between you and someone else. No one is entitled to occupy your space unless you invite them in.

And then there’s that special situation where families gather together for a special occasion or holiday. it’s best to plan ahead so that you have a good idea about how time will be spent with relatives. Don’t leave too much unplanned time; you don’t want to get into a situation where you’re left alone with a difficult family member with whom you have an issue or conflict — someone who confronts, challenges, incites, aggravates, and basically pushes your buttons. Surround yourself with people you get along with, supportive people who care about you, people who are there to enjoy time together.

Abigail Brenner, M.D . , is a psychiatrist in private practice. She is the author of Transitions: How Women Embrace Change and Celebrate Life and other books.

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What Are Family Therapy & Family Counseling?

Indeed, the “family” is considered “a fundamental organizing structure for human life from birth to death” (Wampler et al., 2020, p. 45).

However, like any other system or structure, it is prone to breaking down.

Family therapists aim to improve relationships and resolve conflicts within the family structure by working with all involved rather than individual clients (Metcalf, 2011).

This article explores the nature of family therapy and the many approaches therapists adopt to support positive change and growth.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Relationships Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients build healthy, life-enriching relationships.

This Article Contains

• What Are Family Therapy & Family Counseling? Definitions

Types of Family Therapy

• Online Marriage & Family Therapy Programs: Do They Work?

Recommended Family Counseling Books

Related resources from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message, frequently asked questions, what are family therapy & family counseling definitions.

Family therapists recognize that changing a family system (usually) means disrupting existing relationship patterns and interpersonal communications (Metcalf, 2011).

While family therapists adopt many approaches, they are each typically underpinned by the following four principles (Goldenberg, 2017):

• Family members are intimately connected, so therapy must focus on the beliefs of every member.
• Over time, family members living in close proximity “set up patterns of interacting made up of relatively stable sequences of speech and behavior” (Goldenberg, 2017, p. 26).
• The presenting problem’s context typically comprises the “interactions, beliefs, and behaviors that therapists observe and engage with” and can be considered the cause and effect (Goldenberg, 2017, p. 26).
• Family problems are often the result of challenges resulting from facing environmental shifts or life changes.

Family therapy and family counseling are closely related terms and often used interchangeably, but with the latter sometimes used as a broader term encompassing various therapeutic approaches and techniques adopted by psychologists, social workers, and other professionals to enhance communication, resolve conflict, and support families facing challenges (American Psychological Association, n.d.; Goldenberg, 2017).

Marriage and family therapy

Marriage and family therapy are forms of psychotherapy that help individuals, couples, and families improve their relationships and resolve conflicts. Their scope involves working with the couple or the entire family rather than one individual (Metcalf, 2011).

Despite differences in how family therapists go about providing opportunities for families to change, all attempt to create a therapeutic environment that (Goldenberg, 2017):

• Encourages self-examination in order to reduce discomfort and conflict
• Mobilizes family resilience and empowerment
• Helps the family members improve their overall functioning

Within marriage therapy , counselors may use various techniques, such as talk therapy, role-play, and homework assignments with the couple (Metcalf, 2011).

Family therapy for mom and son

Family therapy for mothers and sons can be an effective way to address issues that are affecting their relationship and the family as a whole. The therapist will identify communication and behavior patterns within the relationship that contribute to broader problems and suggest approaches to encourage greater understanding and reduce conflict (Metcalf, 2011).

Communication theory and its impact on family therapy

Communication theory involves studying how people exchange information and meaning through verbal and nonverbal messages (Fitzpatrick & Ritchie, 1993).

The impact of communication theory on family therapy and family counseling is significant and can be used to understand how communication patterns within the family structure contribute to or alleviate problems.

Therapists can use communication theory to identify patterns of communication causing conflict or distress within the family and to develop strategies for improving communication and resolving disputes, such as active listening, empathy, and assertiveness.

As a result, clients may be seen from very different perspectives depending on the type of family therapy adopted (Metcalf, 2011; Goldenberg, 2017).

The following is a list of several of the most influential types, but there are others present in the literature.

Structural and strategic family therapy

Structural family therapy and strategic family therapy approaches “are foundational in the field of systemic family therapy due to their emphasis on systemic process over content and altering family interaction patterns that create, maintain, or exacerbate problems” (Wampler et al., 2020, p. 460).

Developed in the late 1960s by Salvador Minuchin, and along with contributions from Charles Fishman, Maryanne Walters, and others, structural family therapy recognizes the importance of the individual within their social context (Wampler et al., 2020).

As such, individuals do not exist in isolation but in relation (both acting and reacting) to the family, with the “family seen as the vehicle for producing individual change” (Wampler et al., 2020, p. 462).

Consequently, rather than one individual being the “guilty party” or “symptom owner,” problems are distributed and often the result of a dysfunctional hierarchy or poor functioning within subsystems (Wampler et al., 2020).

Strategic family therapy arose out of the work of the Mental Research Institute in California in the mid-1950s. Unlike other therapeutic approaches that assume insight leads to change (changing through knowing), the strategic approach suggests change happens before understanding (knowing through changing; Wampler et al., 2020).

Shifts in perception and understanding the system’s rules and family interactional patterns are required to facilitate lasting change (Wampler et al., 2020).

Psychodynamic/psychoeducational therapy

According to psychodynamic theory, “humans have an unconscious mind that influences a person’s behavior” (Wampler et al., 2020, p. 417). As a result, we are often driven by simple, unconscious desires — such as pleasure — that are self-serving.

As far back as Sigmund Freud in the early 20th century, the impact of family on the individual’s character formation and unconscious mind was clear. Therefore, the psychodynamic approach to family therapy emphasizes the importance of exploring family members’ past experiences and relationships to gain insight and understanding into existing problems (Metcalf, 2011).

The psychoeducational therapeutic approach supports providing education and information to families about mental illness and challenging behavior patterns while developing treatment plans for the whole family (Metcalf, 2011).

Narrative family therapy (contextual)

Narrative therapy is recognized as being at the forefront of today’s family therapy and family counseling, “signifying that our knowledge of reality is organized and maintained through stories we tell about ourselves and the world we inhabit” (Goldenberg, 2017, p. 370).

After all, the stories — or narratives — we tell ourselves are the context of our lives. And yet, families often build and maintain self-defeating and harmful narratives about their members.

Narrative therapy involves “respectful, non blaming conversations in which clients are the experts in their own lives and assumed to have the skills and competencies needed to construct more positive stories about themselves” (Goldenberg, 2017, p. 371).

Narrative therapists support families in reframing problems from an internal deficiency or issue within the individual, couple, or family to an unwelcome narrative dominating their lives. The family is encouraged to unite against the problem as a separate entity — with its own political and social context — to be overcome (Goldenberg, 2017).

Circular questioning is a powerful technique used in narrative therapy. It involves asking questions about interactions and relationships within the family system to explore how family members perceive each other’s behaviors, emotions, and thoughts (Rogers & Cooper, 2020).

Systemic and systematic family therapy

Systematic family therapy (also known as systemic family therapy) focuses on the family as a whole rather than individual members. As such, it recognizes that individual psychological issues and conflicts are often influenced by and embedded within the more extensive family system (Goldenberg, 2017).

Using this approach, therapists and counselors consider the family as an interconnected system with unique communication patterns, roles, and dynamics. The approach requires them to establish an alliance with multiple individuals at once and manage various views of the therapeutic alliance (Goldenberg, 2017).

Ultimately, they aim to identify and address dysfunctional patterns within the family system that contribute to individual problems by challenging mental models, accepting ambiguity, and considering multiple generations (Goldenberg, 2017).

Functional family therapy

Functional family therapy is a well-researched approach to the family that “fosters both cognitive and behavioral changes in individuals and their families” (Goldenberg, 2017, p. 335), integrating learning, systems, and family therapy.

This form of therapy aims to go beyond behavior change, helping clients understand that how they act regulates relationships.

Studies have found functional family therapy to be particularly helpful in treating adolescents with problems with substance abuse, violence, and delinquency (Goldenberg, 2017).

Bowenian family therapy

Murray Bowen was a crucial figure in the development of family therapy and one of the developers of the family systems theory. His approach emphasizes both the significance of past relationships (psychodynamic approach) and the family as a unit (systems approach; Goldenberg, 2017).

According to family systems theory (or Bowenian family therapy ), there are eight interlocking concepts (Goldenberg, 2017):

• Differentiation of self
• Nuclear family emotional system
• Family projection process
• Emotional cutoff
• Multigenerational transmission process
• Sibling position
• Societal regression

Bowen preferred to think of himself as a coach, helping family members “become objective researchers into their own ways of functioning” (Goldenberg, 2017, p. 214).

Behavioral and cognitive-behavioral family therapy

“Behavioral and cognitive‐behavioral models for understanding and treating problems in couple and family relationships are well supported empirically” (Wampler et al., 2020, p. 493).

Cognitive interventions that encourage clients to identify those aspects of their thinking that contribute to negative emotional and behavioral responses within the family system have proven valuable, along with testing the validity of cognitions and replacing unhelpful thoughts with more helpful ones (Wampler et al., 2020).

Emotionally Focused Therapy for families

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) combines a focus on the self with a systems outlook.

EFT “views couples and families in both intrapsychic and interactional terms, helping them gain access to what is emotionally significant for each person” (Goldenberg, 2017, p. 248) while guiding their actions and explorations with the therapeutic relationship .

EFT practitioners focus on what is going on between people rather than what is inherent within each person. They help clients focus on their moment-to-moment inner experiences and relationship events.

Other approaches worthy of note include family constellation therapy and internal family systems therapy . The former focuses on events that have led to family breakdowns to restore balance within the family constellation, and the latter addresses individual healing and growth, recognizing the mind as a system composed of multiple distinct parts (Konkolÿ Thege et al., 2021; Sweezy & Ziskind, 2013).

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Online Marriage & Family Therapy Programs: Do They Work?

With marriage and family therapy and counseling programs increasingly moving online, it is vital that therapists have the necessary digital skills and competencies to support their clients.

In addition, they must consider the impact of remote treatment on the ethical and regulatory codes associated with their work, potentially across multiple borders and states (Blumer et al., 2015).

Equally important is the efficacy of online marriage and family therapy programs.

While the academic literature is limited, research confirms online treatment’s positive value and impact on marriage and family therapy for various issues. Studies have shown remote treatments’ positive effects as equivalent to in-person delivery, benefiting both relational and mental health outcomes (McLean et al., 2021).

Family counseling is a vital aspect of therapeutic treatment, with many valuable books to support new and existing therapists.

The following books are some of our favorites and help teach the theory, background, and practical steps involved in practicing family therapy and family counseling.

1. It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle – Mark Wolynn

Mark Wolynn shares his deep understanding of inherited trauma in this groundbreaking book and offers new, powerful tools for relieving client suffering.

Wolynn’s extensive experience as a pioneer in inherited family trauma, coupled with his “Core Language Approach,” empowers readers to uncover hidden emotional legacies and provides practical techniques for reconnecting, integrating, and reclaiming life and health.

Find the book on Amazon .

2. Family Ties That Bind: A Self-Help Guide to Change Through Family of Origin Therapy – Ronald W. Richardson

This practical and easy-to-read book offers valuable insights into family dynamics and actionable techniques from family therapy and family counseling to help readers create healthier relationships.

This book explores topics such as self-esteem, spousal dynamics, birth order, and communication skills while guiding readers in understanding the impact of family background on interactions.

The authors offer step-by-step exercises to foster positive changes in all aspects of clients’ lives.

3. Family Therapy: An Overview – Irene Goldenberg

This engaging and comprehensive book equips therapists and interested readers with the knowledge and skills necessary for competent and effective family therapy.

With its practice-oriented approach, this ninth edition delves into essential viewpoints, intervention techniques, and the goals of family therapy, from evidence-based practice research to addressing issues of diversity, gender, culture, and LGBTQ families.

We have many resources available for therapists and counselors providing support to families wishing to improve communication and repair damaged relationships.

Why not download our free positive relationships pack and try out the powerful tools contained within? Some examples include:

• Identifying Our Expert Companions This exercise helps clients discover what they need from an expert companion and how to identify them among the variety of people they know.
• Connecting With Others by Self-Disclosure In this exercise, clients learn how to practice self-disclosure to increase their feelings of being understood, accepted, and cared for, boosting relationships and wellbeing.

Other free resources include:

• Mind the Gap Use this exercise to identify the values the client wants to instill in the family and make plans for their implementation.
• Meeting Our Family’s Needs Each family member is given the opportunity to have their needs heard, understood, and ultimately accepted in this helpful activity .

More extensive versions of the following tools are available with a subscription to the Positive Psychology Toolkit© , but they are described briefly below:

• Building Social Capital

An individual’s social capital is an accumulation of their positive network connections.

Clients can expand their social capital by focusing on their relationship quantity, strength, intensity, and density.

To do so, ask the client to try out the following steps:

• Step one – List the most important people in your social network.
• Step two – Assess existing connections’ strength, density, and intensity.
• Step three – Identify elements of your social capital that require attention.
• Examining Rituals of Connection

Rituals of connection are relationship-enhancing behaviors essential in family therapy and family counseling that symbolize intimacy and provide couples with a sense of stability, commitment, and purpose.

Nurturing a shared sense of meaning and maintaining commitment through rituals of connection is integral to a happy, satisfying, stable, and enduring romantic relationship.

Try out the following steps:

• Step one – Identify and reflect on your connection rituals with your partner.
• Step two – Assess whether the rituals are currently working for you both.
• Step three – Identify what you can do to improve or replace those rituals that require attention.

17 Positive Relationships Tools

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others build healthy relationships, check out this collection of 17 validated positive relationships tools for practitioners. Use them to help others form healthier, more nurturing, and life-enriching relationships.

World’s Largest Positive Psychology Resource

The Positive Psychology Toolkit© is a groundbreaking practitioner resource containing over 500 science-based exercises , activities, interventions, questionnaires, and assessments created by experts using the latest positive psychology research.

Updated monthly. 100% Science-based.

“The best positive psychology resource out there!” — Emiliya Zhivotovskaya , Flourishing Center CEO

Family therapy and family counseling recognize that families are organized systems and aim to improve relationships and resolve conflicts by working with all family members.

It disrupts existing unhealthy relationship patterns and communication styles and promotes positive change and growth within the family unit.

In doing so, family therapy emphasizes the importance of understanding family members’ beliefs and the sometimes-unhealthy sequences of behavior that can develop along with the contextual shifts and life challenges that contribute to family problems.

Communication theory plays a significant role in family counseling by analyzing how communication patterns within the family structure impact their problems. Therapists use the approach to identify and transform conflict-causing connection patterns and encourage conflict resolution.

There are various types of family therapy and counseling, each offering different perspectives and models for understanding clients. They offer diverse views that guide therapists in providing tailored interventions for families in need.

Ultimately, family therapy is a practical approach to improving relationships and reducing discord within the family system. Through its use, therapists can disrupt existing dynamics and promote positive change by considering all family members’ needs, beliefs, and values.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Relationships Exercises for free .

Ed: Updated July 2023

The basic principles of family therapy involve:

• Working collaboratively with families to understand their relationships and interactions
• Identifying and building on strengths
• Developing more effective communication and problem-solving skills

There are many different techniques used in family therapy and counseling, such as:

• Genograms (visual representation of a family’s relationships and history)
• Mindfulness techniques
• Play therapy
• Homework assignments

One of the most commonly used types of family therapy is structural family therapy (SFT).

SFT focuses on the interactions between family members and how these interactions shape the family’s structure.

• American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Family counseling. In APA dictionary of psychology . Retrieved July 19, 2023, from https://dictionary.apa.org/family-counseling.
• Blumer, M. L. C., Hertlein, K. M., & VandenBosch, M. L. (2015). Towards the development of educational core competencies for couple and family therapy technology practices. Contemporary Family Therapy , 37 (2), 113–121.
• Fitzpatrick, M. A., & Ritchie, L. D. (1993). Communication theory and the family. In P. Boss, W. J. Doherty, R. LaRossa, W. R. Schumm, & S. K. Steinmetz (Eds.), Sourcebook of family theories and methods (pp. 565–589). Springer.
• Goldenberg, I. (2017). Family therapy: An overview . Cengage learning.
• Konkolÿ Thege, B., Petroll, C., Rivas, C., & Scholtens, S. (2021). The effectiveness of family constellation therapy in improving mental health: A systematic review. Family Process , 60 (2), 409–423.
• McLean, S. A., Booth, A. T., Schnabel, A., Wright, B. J., Painter, F. L., & McIntosh, J. E. (2021). Exploring the efficacy of telehealth for family therapy through systematic, meta-analytic, and qualitative evidence. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , 24 (2), 244–266.
• Metcalf, L. (2011). Marriage and family therapy: A practice-oriented approach . Springer.
• Rogers, M., & Cooper, J. (2020). Systems theory and an ecological approach. In M. Rogers, D. Whitaker, D. Edmondson, & D. Peach (Eds.), Developing skills and knowledge for social work practice (2nd ed., pp. 259–268). Sage.
• Sweezy, M., & Ziskind, E. L. (2013). Internal family systems therapy: New dimensions . Routledge.
• Wampler, K. S., Miller, R. B., & Seedall, R. B. (Eds.). (2020). The handbook of systemic family therapy (vol. 1). Wiley Blackwell.

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very excellent description orderly arranged information was easy to understand the context

This is an excellent, and in-depth article that explains the multiple uses and strategies that a family therapist near you uses to help your family overcome obstacles and become closer to one another. With family therapy in Calgary, you and your loved ones will be feeling more in tune with each other than ever before, and you will likely learn something about yourself as well.

Hi, We are concerned for an adult 37 year old daughter and the therapy she is receiving from a particular Psychologist. We are located in NJ. Since she has been seeing this Psychologist for nearly 2 years, our daughter’s relationships with our family – parents and siblings have been going from bad to worse and now almost non existent. She has been angry about the past family issues and cannot seem to shed the past. She is a schoolteacher, a parent to a 9 and 12 year old daughters, and remarried last October. We are not a perfect family, however we are good people. Everyone has had their issues at one time or another but our daughter’s siblings have moved past the issues from when they were younger. Any advice you could give us would be a good start to improve our family. Thank you,

Hi Roseann, I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling disconnected from your daughter. What’s important (and constructive) is that she is working through her experiences of her childhood with a psychologist. When undergoing long-term therapy, people may find that they need space or emotional distance, at least temporarily, from those they feel are associated with their negative feelings so they can process them and decide how to move forward with those relationships. Here are some important questions to ask: Does your daughter have social support/people she can lean on elsewhere in her life (e.g., friends, her partner)? Does she have stability in her work and personal life? Does she seem healthy and happy? I cannot know your personal situation, but my suggestion would be to gently reach out, let her know that you’re there for her if/when she wants to reconnect, or chat about anything from the past, and then allow some space. We all process our past experiences differently, and for some, this may take a little more time than for others. I hope this helps, and best of luck. – Nicole | Community Manager

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Understanding family relationships

Building closer family bonds, getting along with adult relatives, improving relationships with your adult children, reclaiming your adult siblings, improving relationships with your extended family, tips to improve family relationships.

Looking to improve your relationships with your family members? Learn how emotional intelligence (EQ) is your most effective tool for overcoming rifts and strengthening bonds.

There’s nothing like family. The people we’re related to by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, our greatest sources of love and support. Too often, however, our interactions with family are filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering. Those we should know and be known by best, end up feeling like adversaries or strangers.

Family is where our first and strongest emotional memories are made, and that’s where they keep appearing. And this is why emotional intelligence (EQ) succeeds where other efforts at family harmony fail. Active awareness and empathy—the ability to be aware, accepting, and permanently attuned to ourselves and others—tells us how to respond to one another’s needs.

EQ is incredibly powerful in the family because it puts you in control of your relationships with parents and children, siblings, in-laws and extended family. When you know how you feel, you can’t be manipulated by other’s emotions; nor can you blame family conflict on everyone else. Most of the techniques for improving family relationships are therefore centered on communicating your feelings to those you care about, as close relationships are centered around feeling.

Without this emotional intimacy, family contact becomes a burden, because no one is comfortable spending that much time with a stranger. If you want your family members to know and accept each other lovingly, you have to begin with your own emotional honesty and openness. When you do, the suggestions offered below are transformed from familiar reasonable advice, to highly effective methods for bringing your family ever closer.

10 tips for improving family relationships

• Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else . The more demanding of your time your family is, the more you need to fit in exercise. Perhaps you and your family can seek out ways to exercise together.
• Listen if you expect to be heard . Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.”
• Teach emotional choice . Manage your moods by letting all feelings be OK, but not all behaviors. Model behavior that respects and encourages the feelings and rights of others yet make it clear that we have a choice about what to do with what we feel.
• Teach generosity by receiving as well as giving . Giving and receiving are parts of the same loving continuum. If we don’t give, we find it hard to receive, and if we can’t receive, we don’t really have much to give. This is why selflessness carried to extremes is of little benefits to others.
• Take responsibility for what you communicate silently . The very young and old are especially sensitive to nonverbal cues. More than our words, tone of voice, posture (body language), and facial expressions convey our feelings. We have to listen to our tone of voice and look at ourselves in pictures and in the mirror to assess our emotional congruency. Loving words coming through clenched teeth don’t feel loving—they feel confusing.
• Don’t try to solve problems for your loved ones . Caring for your family doesn’t mean taking charge of their problems, giving unsolicited advice, or protecting them from their own emotions. Let them know their own strengths and allow them to ask you for what they need.
• Make a lasting impression through actions . Your values will be communicated by your actions, no matter what you say. Be an example, not a nag.
• Acknowledge your errors to everyone , including younger family members. Saying you’re sorry when you hurt someone you love, models humility and emotional integrity. You can demonstrate that no one is perfect, but everyone can learn at any age. Apologizing proves you can forgive yourself and makes it easier to forgive others.
• Discover what each person’s unique needs are . You can’t assume that your grandmother needs the same signs of love as your three-year-old or that either one will have the same needs next year. When in doubt, ask!
• Be generous in expressing love . Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it most.

Look to yourself first . A family is a system made up of interdependent individuals, but that doesn’t mean you can blame your family of origin for the way you are today, any more than you can hold your mate and children responsible for your personal happiness. Your best hope for fixing any family problem is to attend your own emotional health. When you act on the belief that you have a right and obligation to assert your own emotional needs, your family will notice that your emotional independence benefits not only you, but the whole family, and they may quickly follow your lead.

Remember that consistency builds trust. Studies have shown that lack of consistency destroys trust. Off-and-on emotional awareness will cause those who love and depend on you, especially children, to get confused and frightened. That’s why it’s so important to keep your awareness active with family.

Recognize that being close doesn’t mean being clones. Sometimes family ties blind us to the uniqueness of those we love. Pride in the family continuum can make it easy to forget that. You can’t be expected to have the same talents as your siblings, even though you may look a lot alike; that you won’t necessarily choose to follow in parent’s footsteps; or that you and your spouse should spend all your leisure time joined at the hip just because you’re married.

Remember that knowing people all your life doesn’t mean understanding them. “I knew you when…” doesn’t mean I know you now, no matter how much I’ve always loved you. We all change, and yet each of us seems to only see change in ourselves. How infuriating is it to be introduced as someone’s kid brother when you’re fifty-five, or to be perpetually treated as the airhead you were at fourteen despite the fact that you’re now CEO of your own company. Now that you’ve acquired empathy , you can gently steer your family away from stagnant patterns of interaction by modeling the attention you’d like to receive. When you’re with your family, don’t automatically seek the conversational refuge of talking over old times. Ask what’s new and show that you really care by eliciting details and then listening with your body and mind.

Watch out for destructive emotional memories. Catching your thirty-year-old self responding to a parent in the voice of the five-year-old you can make you feel weak and frustrated. With EQ you don’t need to keep getting snared by emotional memories. Whenever you feel out of control with family—whether it’s kicking yourself for acting like a kid with your parents or agonizing over where the anger you’re dumping on your innocent spouse and children is coming from—take a moment to reflect on the memories that are imposing on your behavior today.

Cherish every stage of life in each family member. No matter how well we understand that it can’t happen, we desperately want Mom and Dad to stay the way they are, and for the kids to stay home forever. The best to accept that fact emotionally, is to embrace change. Accept the natural fear that your parents’ aging evokes but use your emotional awareness and empathy to figure out how you can cherish this moment for its unique qualities. What can you and your parents share now that wasn’t possible in the past? Can you keep having fun and make sure everyone still feels useful and worthy in the family support system, even though roles and responsibilities must be altered?

If you’re not sure what will work, ask. Fully accepting your fear of change can make it easier to broach subjects that you may have considered awkward in the past. Maybe your parents are just waiting for your cue. Feel them out. In a flexible, healthy family dynamic, change is just one of the many opportunities you have to enrich one another.

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Two elements threaten harmonious relations with parents and adult siblings, in-laws and adult children: lack of time and an abundance of emotional memories. The two add up to the fear that we’ll be overwhelmed by each other’s needs, giving up ourselves if we give anything to these adult relatives. We do need to invest time in figuring out what our parents want most from us, sustaining close friendships with brothers and sisters, and gathering together without fulfilling every bad joke ever written about contentious, selfish families.

But emotional intelligence gives us so much energy and creativity that the demands of these relationships don’t need to be heavy. We recognize change as it occurs in individuals by recognizing emotional memories when they’re triggered. Keep your EQ strong, and your adult family encounters are no longer dominated by cleaning up after mistakes and managing crises that have already resulted in disaster.

Many parents are dismayed to find that they can’t just sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labor once they’ve successfully guided their children into adulthood. No relationship stands still. The key to a successful ongoing relationship with your grown children is your ability to deal with the change and growth that comes before role reversal. You have to keep the lines of emotional communication open; your children may be wrapped up in career, love, and friendships at this stage in their lives. Let them know how you feel and what you need from them.

If you’ve only recently raised your EQ, of course, you may have some amending to do, some changes to make in your style of interaction with your children. Do they avoid you because you force advice or your own choices on them? Do you bring more disappointment and judgement to the relationship than they can tolerate? Have you listened empathically to how your children feel about their choices? Or have you tried to find out what their unique needs are? Some adult children keep their distance because they feel injured by past experiences with you; in that case the only way to improve the relationships is to stick to these tips—listen to their hurt and admit you were wrong. Here are a few ways to bridge the gap:

• Find out why it’s so hard to accept your children’s choices when they’re different from your own. Use the hot buttons exploration described above, but ask yourself why you feel so strongly about this issue, why you need to be in control, and why you can’t accept their right to make independent choices?
• Tap into the power of apology. It’s never too late to say, “I’m sorry, I wish I could have been a better parent,” “I wish I had done things differently,” or “You deserved better than I gave.” Heartfelt words of sadness and regret become particularly powerful in a letter—as long as the letter is given as a gift without expectations about what it will bring in return. It may bring nothing except the knowledge that you have done your best to right past wrongs. You may also wish to ask if there is any way that you can make amends.
• Explore what you expect from each other. If your estranged child is willing, each of you should make a list of no more than seven items on the subject of what you want and need from each other and what you think the other wants and needs from you. Now compare lists and see how close each of you comes to meeting the other’s needs.
• Try the exercise on your own if your child is unwilling or you’re unwilling to ask. Fill out the list for yourself, then move to another chair or position and fill out a list as you think your adult child would. Now compare. Is what your adult child needs different from what you’re offering? Have you failed to recognize how the child has changed?
• Consider counseling , either together with your child or separately. A skilled therapist can help bridge the distance between you and your child and provide a fresh perspective. If in-person therapy isn’t practical, consider virtual counseling .

In high-EQ families, brothers and sisters divide up responsibilities for aging parents and look forward to occasions to get all the generations together, because they all now their limits and their talents and how to convey them. Unfortunately, this is not an accurate portrait of many adult sibling relationships because too often history intervenes. Maybe your parents didn’t provide the type of love and support your brother needed as well as they did for you. Maybe childhood memories trigger too much resentment, jealousy, and rivalry. Maybe it just hurt too much when the sister who knew you so well didn’t care enough to notice how you’ve changed over the years.

Whatever the problem, you can use any of the ideas in this article to renew your relationship. If you have the time, you can also try reconnecting by going away together where you will both be comfortable and undisturbed. Try an unstructured setting and use your time together to send a lot of “I feel” messages. Clarify that in expressing yourself you’re not asking your sibling to change. When your sibling responds, make sure you listen with your body, not with retorts prepared in your head.

If your sibling is hard to reach, and an outing won’t work, can you reconnect by soliciting help in a way that acknowledges his or her unique talents? Think about ways you can make your sibling feel uniquely needed.

How are your relationships with your extended family—those you’re related to by marriage or through looser blood ties? Strained because you’re trying to form family bonds without the emotional history to make them stick? Or smooth because they don’t come with the emotional baggage that your immediate family of origin drags around? Either is possible in any individual relationship. How difficult one of these relationships is may depend on how important it is to you and how long you’ve been at it. Getting along with a brand-new mother-in-law, therefore mother, has left unpleasant emotional memories. On the other hand, it’s probably a snap to be cordial to the cousin you see only at holiday gatherings.

How good and how deep your relationships are with extended family will depend largely on what you want them to be. We feel guilty if we resent our own parents, but there’s nothing that says we have to love our in-laws, so many people don’t feel obligated to make a huge effort. Simply extend the same empathy to your extended family as you would to anyone else you encounter, and that means accepting the broad range of differences that’s bound to exists so you can find the common points of connection.

If you’re also willing to listen with empathy no matter who is speaking, admit error, and watch the nonverbal cues you send, you stand a pretty good chance of becoming everyone’s favorite niece, cherished uncle, or model in-law. Assuming you haven’t yet achieved that state, here are a few tips to make extended-family relationships rewarding.

Remember that you don’t have to like everyone equally.

Sometimes, even when you make your most open-hearted efforts, you end up disliking a relative or an in-law. Examine how much your own baggage keeps you from appreciating this person. Then accept your feelings and interact with the person only to the extent that you remain comfortable. You may find that removing the stress of seeing him or her under that pressure opens your heart a crack wider.

If you can only ask loaded questions, don’t say anything at all.

Research has shown that the emotional message is 90 percent of what people get from any communication , and that’s why it’s important to be emotionally aware of what your motives are, and to take responsibility for what you convey through gestures and expressions, as well as words. Too often we don’t say what we mean because we’re afraid to take responsibility for the feelings that motivate us. So, we manipulate people by making offers that beg to be refused or by saying we don’t mind when we do and then resenting the perceived offender. If you can’t be emotionally honest with your extended family, go somewhere else.

Adapted from Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Hands-on Program for Harnessing the Power of Your Instincts and Emotions by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

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Navigating the Challenges: How to Overcome Family Problems and Strengthen Relationships

Family is the foundation of our lives, providing love, support, and a sense of belonging. However, no family is immune to challenges and difficulties. Whether it's conflicts, financial issues, or personal struggles, family problems can take a toll on our relationships and overall well-being.

Gaston Molina

February 25, 2024.

Family is the foundation of our lives, providing love, support, and a sense of belonging. However, no family is immune to challenges and difficulties. Whether it’s conflicts, financial issues, or personal struggles, family problems can take a toll on our relationships and overall well-being. In this article, I will explore the common family problems that many of us face, the impact they can have on our relationships, and strategies to overcome these challenges and strengthen our family bonds.

Understanding Common Family Problems

Family problems come in various forms and can arise from a multitude of factors. Financial stress, lack of communication , and unresolved conflicts are just a few examples of common issues that can strain family relationships. It’s essential to understand that these problems are a normal part of family life, and no family is perfect. By acknowledging and accepting the presence of these challenges, we can begin to address them and work towards solutions.

Impact of Family Problems on Relationships

Family problems can have a significant impact on our relationships. Constant conflicts and unresolved issues can create a hostile environment, leading to emotional distance between family members. Trust and respect may deteriorate, and the overall sense of connection within the family can weaken. These challenges can also affect our mental and emotional well-being, causing stress , anxiety , and even depression . It is crucial to recognize the effects of family problems on our relationships and take proactive steps to address them.

Signs and Symptoms of Family Problems

Identifying the signs and symptoms of family problems is the first step towards finding solutions. Each family is unique, and the signs may vary, but some common indicators include frequent arguments, lack of communication, withdrawal from family activities, and a general sense of tension or unhappiness within the household. Children may exhibit behavioral changes, such as acting out or isolating themselves. It’s important to pay attention to these signs and address them promptly to prevent further damage to our relationships.

Communication Strategies

Communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships, and it plays a crucial role in resolving family problems. Effective communication involves active listening , empathy, and open-mindedness. It’s essential to create a safe and non-judgmental space where each family member can express their thoughts and feelings. Regular family meetings or counseling sessions can provide a structured platform for open communication. It’s important to remember that communication is a two-way street and requires effort from all family members to maintain a healthy dynamic.

Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, family problems can be complex and deeply rooted, requiring professional intervention. Seeking the help of a family therapist or counsellor can provide valuable guidance and support. These professionals are trained to navigate complex family dynamics and provide strategies to overcome challenges. Therapy sessions can help identify underlying issues, improve communication skills, and offer tools to resolve conflicts. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step towards creating a healthier and more harmonious family environment.

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Building Resilience and Strengthening Relationships

Overcoming family problems requires resilience and a commitment to change. It’s crucial to approach these challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. Building resilience involves developing coping strategies, fostering empathy, and practicing forgiveness. By focusing on the positive aspects of our relationships and celebrating small victories, we can gradually strengthen the bonds within our family. It’s important to remember that change takes time, and patience is key as we navigate the path towards a healthier and more fulfilling family life.

Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Family Dynamic

Maintaining a healthy family dynamic is an ongoing process that requires effort and dedication from all family members. Here are some tips to help nurture strong and loving relationships:

• Prioritize quality time: Set aside dedicated time for family activities and bonding. Engage in shared hobbies or plan regular outings to strengthen connections.
• Practice active listening: Show genuine interest in what each family member has to say. Avoid interrupting and truly listen to understand their perspective.
• Resolve conflicts constructively: Encourage open communication and find compromises when conflicts arise. Focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame.
• Celebrate milestones and achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate each family member’s accomplishments, no matter how small. This fosters a supportive and positive environment.
• Encourage individuality: Respect each family member’s unique interests, opinions, and aspirations. Embrace diversity and encourage personal growth.

Self-Care Strategies

Taking care of ourselves is essential to maintaining healthy relationships within our family. When we neglect our own well-being, it becomes challenging to provide support and love to others. Here are some self-care strategies to incorporate into our daily lives:

• Prioritize self-care activities: Carve out time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as exercise, hobbies, or meditation.
• Set boundaries : Establish clear boundaries to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Learn to say no when necessary.
• Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends or support groups when you need assistance or a listening ear. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it.
• Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-criticism. Treat yourself with the same love and understanding you would offer to a loved one.

Family problems are an inevitable part of life, but they do not have to define our relationships. By understanding common family challenges, actively communicating, seeking professional help when needed, and prioritizing self-care, we can navigate these difficulties and strengthen our family bonds. Remember, building a healthy family dynamic is an ongoing process that requires patience, resilience, and a commitment to growth. With dedication and effort, we can overcome family problems and create a loving and supportive environment for ourselves and our loved ones.

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• Completed 10,000+ hours of therapy

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To participate in Fitcy Health’s specialist network, all specialists are required to possess the following:

• Licensed by your home country or residing country’s board to provide counseling, therapy, psychiatry, life coaching, nutrition, dietitian or fitness services. NOTE: If you are an intern or require supervision to provide any services, at this time you cannot be a specialist at Fitcy Health.
• Experience in working with adults, couples, and/or teens.
• Excellent english writing skills.
• Reliable internet connection.
• Laptop with a good quality camera.

Single Session: AED 299/session

Monthly package: aed 179/session.

4 sessions for AED 716 in monthly package

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Single Session: SAR 299/session

Monthly package: sar 179/session.

4 sessions for SAR 716 in monthly package

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Single Session: QAR 299/session

Monthly package: qar 179/session.

4 sessions for QAR 716 in monthly package

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Single Session: USD 80/session

Monthly package: usd 49/session.

4 sessions for USD 196 in monthly package

Single Session: AED 399/session

Monthly package: aed 279/session.

4 sessions for AED 1116 in monthly package

Single Session: SAR 399/session

Monthly package: sar 279/session.

4 sessions for SAR 1116 in monthly package

Single Session: QAR 399/session

Monthly package: qar 279/session.

4 sessions for QAR 1116 in monthly package

Single Session: USD 108/session

Monthly package: usd 75/session.

4 sessions for USD 300 in monthly package

Single Session: AED 499/session

Monthly package: aed 379/session.

4 sessions for AED 1516 in monthly package

Single Session: SAR 499/session

Monthly package: sar 379/session.

4 sessions for SAR 1516 in monthly package

Single Session: QAR 499/session

Monthly package: qar 379/session.

4 sessions for QAR 1516 in monthly package

Single Session: USD 135/session

Monthly package: usd 104/session.

4 sessions for USD 416 in monthly package

An introductory session is a 15 to 20 mins session, with the main goal of getting to know your specialist. You can speak about your goals, what you’re searching for, and understand if this specialist is the right fit for you or not.

Our 1-month package consists of 3 video/audio call live sessions (i.e. 1 every 10 days) & unlimited messaging with any specialist of your choice. Each live session is between 45 – 60 mins in length. When choosing to book, you book your first session now on checkout & the other 2 sessions are booked from your customer dashboard.

Majda is a holistic & integrative coach. She focuses on helping clients realign with their body and its inner guidance. She has studied movement, expression, psychology, and psy-shamanism (i.e. emotional recovery and the workings of the mind) for many years.

Although her qualifications came at a later stage, Majda has been on an intense journey of self-discovery and self-realization since age 16. Her clients testify to her sharpened perception which allows her to look into the depth of her clients’ reasoning and the truth in it, this helps them cleanse their preconceived beliefs and attitudes, which the mind has not registered yet.

Working with Majda will help you identify and release the stress in your body and mind. Her method is to help you recognize your inner critic and work with it, rather than object to it. She will listen and ask you questions that will thoroughly clarify your mind, desires, and hone in on your own inner guidance. She works with clients to help them discover the life they want to live and how to practice self-love throughout.

With such in-depth knowledge and expertise, she dives into your story and helps you go through and solve any obstacles, challenges, or problems you are facing. Majda has helped her clients feel more empowered, grounded, guided, and clear about anything they perceive in their world whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. Join her in this journey to improve your confidence, knowledge, and the communication you have with yourself and the outer world.

Expertise: Performance coach; depression, anxiety and somatic experiencing; life coaching; logic and love; relationship coaching; mental health advisor and emotional recovery coach; theta healing

Years of Experience: 4+

Languages Spoken: English, French

Top 5 goals that people have achieved with me: 1. Improving communication and (self) trust 2. Clearing mind patterns, beliefs, needs, wants and goals 3. Understanding cause and effect on a personal level and use of it 4. Learning to release trauma from the body and stay focused and inspired 5. Learning self-love, appreciation, and carving individualism and performance

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: To Fitcy Health members, I am excited to bring them an understanding of their motivations, a healthy and centered mindset with inspiration, cognitive understanding of their motives and direction, confidentiality, approval, fusion, and support for their goals on the physical and material plane, as well as on their emotional one i.e. spiritual challenges/problems and journey, improvement in communication within any personal or professional relationships, knowledge, and last but not least orientation if needed. I’d like them to feel comfortable and safe with me, inspired and more knowledgable of their own, and the collective subconscious. I am excited to bring them one of the most revolutionary and useful methods and tests for self-discovery and direction. I am very perceptive, for me, it is important that any client gets more attuned to his or her body and its inner messages, more faithful, and softly experience emotional and psychological changes and transformation if needed. They will have the opportunity to get knowledge of their (deepest) needs and consciously choose to meet them, or openly and trustfully receive anything that God / Universe / Life brings. I’d like to help Fitcy Health’s members live more ecstatically, become in love with their bodies, mind, and soul, live in unity with their instincts, fears and most importantly have the benefits of all my teachings & experience.

Favorite Quote: “In the acceptance and integration of uncertainty, rises certainty.”

My name is Haydee I have been leading people through personal development from a young age. I help people in their lives by changing the way they think. In my early 20’s I discovered the practice of Yoga and I have used it to develop my body, mind and soul. I learned I could heal myself by releasing emotions, sensations and thoughts. When I began my practice, a new world and perspective of seeing life came into my eyes. My classes are powerful, challenging and invigorating I help you in building mental, physical strength and endurance. All the more its a perfect combination of workout with spiritual development.

Expertise: Ashtanga yoga, vinyasa yoga, breath work, mindfulness

Years of Experience: 9+

Languages Spoken: English, Spanish

Certifications: Paramanand Institute of Yoga Sciences and Research, Ashtranta, GAVY 200

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I invite you to experience the transformational journey of yoga with me. We will work from the inside out. Not only will you feel better and energized, you will look amazing & shine your light into the world.

Favorite Quote: “Be like a lit candle in a dark room, wherever you go you take people out of darkness”

I have a passion for Human anatomy & am a Mechanical Engineer by profession. I combined my passion with my profession and now apply biomechanics to human body analysis, this allows me to see how your performance can be improved. Along with my regular training, I conduct Posture awareness and correction workshops for the industrial sector and for children.

Expertise: Yoga (Hatha/ Vinyasa/ Ashtanga), Cardio (Basic low impact/ Circuit training/ HIIT), Strength training using body weight/external resistance, Injury Rehabilitation, Sport Specific programs, Body alignment and Balance

Languages Spoken: English, Hindi

Certifications: 200 TTC in Hatha, Vinyasa and Ashtang, K11 Personal Training course, ACSM workshops and symposium, Barefoot, ACSM, NSCS

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I feel having knowledge of just one form of fitness is not enough for a safe training session. For the same, I have studied different types of Yoga, strengthening to injury rehab. After a student’s body analysis I combine elements from all these and design a customized, medically safe program. All my workouts are focused on Posture and core.

Kartikey and her partner Sylvia received advanced training directly under Dr. Paul Lam, a world-renowned Tai Chi & Qi Gong exponent and a family physician from Australia. Kartikey and Sylvia started their Tai Chi & Qi Gong journey when they were working as IT professionals and Architect respectively in Singapore. The immense benefits they themselves gained from the practice of Tai Chi & Qi Gong inspired them to travel to Australia and get certified as Instructors. Later they quit their corporate jobs to establish a Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Health School. Together they have started to spread Tai Chi & Qi Gong goodness among people who need it most.

Expertise: Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Arthritis (recommended by CDC, USA), Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Diabetes, Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Rehabilitation, Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Osteoporosis, Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Memory, Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Heart Conditions

Years of Experience: 6+

Languages Spoken: English

Certifications: Certified Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Health Instructor from Dr Paul Lam’s Tai Chi for Health Institute, Sydney, Australia

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: We are very passionate about Tai Chi & Qi Gong and are committed to making its goodness accessible to ALL in the world. We firmly believe in the fact that medicines and surgeries are not the only solutions for the human body to work optimally. Regular practice of Tai Chi & Qi Gong can help in improving immunity and memory among children, relieve stress and anxiety among working adults, and also improve chronic conditions like Parkinson’s’, cardiac condition, etc among elders.

Sylvia and her partner Kartikey received advanced training directly under Dr. Paul Lam, a world-renowned Tai Chi & Qi Gong exponent and a family physician from Australia. Sylvia and Kartikey started their Tai Chi & Qi Gong journey when they were working as IT professionals and Architect respectively in Singapore. The immense benefits they themselves gained from the practice of Tai Chi & Qi Gong inspired them to travel to Australia and get certified as Instructors. Later they quit their corporate jobs to establish a Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Health School. Together they have started to spread Tai Chi & Qi Gong goodness among people who need it most.

Certifications: Certified Tai Chi & Qi Gong for Health Instructor from Dr. Paul Lam’s Tai Chi for Health Institute, Sydney, Australia

Anna is a UK-registered dietitian with clinical experience in weight management, bariatrics and in supporting malnourished individuals, affected by serious clinical conditions. She has also worked with patients suffering from diabetes, cancer, cardiovascular, gastroenterological, and other chronic and acute conditions. Having dealt with people from diverse backgrounds and illnesses, she has developed a passion to treat each case at an individual and personalized level. She loves implementing behavioural counseling and negotiation skills for healthier lifestyles. With nutrition being a social and family aspect from early in her life, she has always favoured wholesome nutrition to promote quality of life, whilst accounting for sustainable, environmental-friendly nutritional choices. She is also passionate about fitness and challenging people’s mindsets over their physical activity limits.

Clinical Expertise: Weight management, bariatric, nutrition support, eating disorders

Educational Background: Registered Dietitian HCPC and BDA registered (B.Sc. Dietetics) M.Sc. Nutrition Physical Activity and Public Health PCG ACE (Post-graduate Diploma in Academic and Clinical Education)

Languages Spoken: English, Greek

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: My approach is unique in that my clients will lead the consultations with me as a guide. Together, we plan ahead our targets, set realistic goals according to the individual needs and lifestyle and everyone takes leadership of their journey. I like acting more as an educator, rather than dictating “rights” or “wrongs”, do’s and don’ts. Understanding the complexity of human nature is not an easy task, yet I embrace the challenges and together we can work our best to transform you into a healthier you!

My Favorite Quote: “Your body is your temple, your most sacred place. Live from within. You Only Live Once!”

Farida has a double post-graduate in Foods, Nutrition, and Dietetics. She is a Certified Nutritionist and a Certified Diabetic Educator. Her diet plans have helped many to live a healthier and fitter life! She believes in healthy eating, which is eating right & not starving your body. Her diet plans include delicious & nutritional meals, which will add to an overall healthy lifestyle.

Clinical Expertise: Gut Health, Women’s Health, Hormonal Health, Diabetes, Weight-loss, Weight-gain, Hormonal Imbalance, PCOS, Nutrition for Pregnancy, Nutrition for Period Regularity

Credentials: Certified Nutritionist, Clinical Dietician, Certified Diabetic Educator

Educational Background: Masters in Dietetics and Food Science Management, Post Graduate in Dietetics and Applied Nutrition, Bachelors of Science in Foods, Nutrition, and Dietetics, Certified Diabetic Educator

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: My plans help you in achieving your goals in the healthiest way possible! This can be for healthy weight-loss or a medical-related condition like kidney disease, heart disease, etc. I plan according to your body’s requirements and search for the food that’s most compatible with it. My plans are designed to take care of you from the inside out, making you feel more energetic and fit! I have helped countless individuals not only with healthy weight-loss or weight-gain but also in maintaining their sugar range, conceive & pregnancy-related issues, get periods regularly, PCOS, hormonal balance, etc. My weight loss diet plans not only focus on weight loss but also how to avoid deficiencies of essential micronutrients like Iron, Calcium, B12. I’m not just your Nutritionist, but your Guide in this journey to achieving your goals with the help of nutrition.

My Favorite Quote: “Healthy Eating = Healthy You”

Tripti is a qualified nutritionist with a passion for helping people transform their diet and lifestyle. She uses healthy modifications to your habits that give results within achievable timelines.

Clinical Expertise: Nutrition for Pregnant Women, Sports Nutrition, High Cholesterol Diet Counseling, Hypertension Diet Counseling

Credentials: Clinical Dietician, Holistic Consultant

Educational Background: Masters in Food Science and Nutrition

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: My consultation takes time – I take your history, pattern of eating, medical conditions and lifestyle issues, which makes the consultation detailed and individual specific. In return my clients get the best solution to achieve their goals.

My Favorite Quote: “You are what you eat, eat right, not less”

Elie is a highly experienced clinical dietician that has consulted over 50,000 clients worldwide till date. Having worked in various private clinics and wellness centers, he has been changing people’s lives for over 13 years now. He enjoys a high success rate, where over 80% of his clients always reach their goals. For him obstacles are opportunities of success, he loves his clients & their difficulties, and turning those difficulties into simple success stories, whether it be in losing weight, achieving a great relationship with their body, their food, getting out of stress, etc.

Clinical Expertise: Central obesity Nutritionist, athletic & Bodybuilder Nutritionist, Mindful eating & Food addictions, Nutritional behaviour specialist, Anti-aging & Detoxification Nutrition Educational Background:

Post graduate Diploma in Psychology of Nutritional behaviour from Dijon University France. Masters degree in Nutrition & Dietetics from Lebanese University Bachelor degree in Human physiology from Lebanese university Registered Dietetics License from Ministry of Public health Lebanon

Languages Spoken: Arabic, English, French

Years of Experience: 14+

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I want Fitcy Health members to know that I love to work hand in hand with my clients because my personality is very friendly and I’m dedicated to their results & achievements. I’m a detail & target oriented person by nature, and I am very close to all my clients, their successes & their failures matter so much to me. I understand my clients & their feelings towards their body, food & more because I’m a huge fan of food myself. I always bring a client first attitude & I want my clients to consider me as their 24/7 Nutritionist who is available in their pocket wether its late night or whenever. I want my clients to feel special because they are special & I’m here to help them achieve their target no matter what.

My Favorite Quote: “You are what you eat”

I am passionate about the mind and philosophy, music, dogs, legos, research, machine learning and anthropology. I have been awarded the Rakhawy Kasr Einy Annual Award for Best Clinical Case Study.

Areas of Expertise: Anxiety, Depression, Personality Disorders and Grief

Clinical Credentials: Psychologist, Clinical Therapist, CBT Practitioner, Mental Health Counselor, Psychodynamic Therapy

Years of Experience: 5+

Languages Spoken: English, Arabic, German, Dutch

Educational Background & Certifications: MSc Psychology University of Groningen, BSc Psychology University of Derby, CBT for Personality Disorders, EABCT Process Based CBT, EABCT Introduction to CBT, European Psychiatric Association Evidence Based Psychodynamic Therapy, World Psychiatric Association Introduction to Compassion Focused Therapy, World Psychiatric Association Psychotherapy for People with Psychosis, World Psychiatric Association Cognitive Behavioral Treatment In OCD, European Psychiatric Association Internet Based CBT In Psychiatry, European Psychiatric Association CBT Anxiety, Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy CBT Depression, Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy CBT Essentials, Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I’m passionate, ethical, professional, experienced, well educated, open minded, compassionate, structured and most importantly I never give up on my clients even if they give up on themselves. Confidentiality and the therapeutic relationship are the pillars of therapy, and I deeply believe in an eclectic approach to help the client with the best they need to accomplish their goals in therapy.

Favorite Quote: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

My name is Ines, and for as long as I can remember, I am fascinated by the behavior of people I am surrounded with. As a result I dedicated my education to psychology and plenty of spare time to personal development. When I decided it was time to start living up to my own potential, it was literally life changing. This decision has led me to be exactly where I want to be at this point in life. As I wish the same for you, it is my mission to help you define your vision, unlock your potential and take the first steps towards your new future.

Clinical Credentials: Life coaching, productivity coaching, career coaching

Languages Spoken: English, Dutch, Croatian

Educational Background & Certifications: BSc. Psychology – Maastricht University, MSc. Health and Social science – Maastricht University, MSc. Human Decision Science – Maastricht School of Business and Economics

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I am a life and performance coach, and I use proven psychology-based methods through which I help people explore themselves, their processes in life and identify which aspects are hindering them in achieving their goals and living up to their full potential. My clients say they experience more clarity about their future and they feel better equipped to handle new situations and challenges in life.

Favorite Quote: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Hi, I’m Isobel. My overriding passion has been to help, guide, encourage and support others as they navigate the stormy waters of life. I use transformational therapies, positive psychology, hypnotherapy to inspire and motivate others to create positive change within their life, no matter their personal story. I have lived the majority of my life living in other countries and 28 years in the Middle East where I built my own successful wellbeing business. Now back in the UK, I have been able to continue working with my clients online globally wherever they are in the world. I am also the a Women’s Wellness Programme, and author of a lovely collection of Wellbeing Journals and inspirational wall art. I have invested heavily in my training and travelled far and wide to learn from expert leaders in their field. As you stand at the edge of change, I am ready to jump in with you.

Expertise: Life Coach, Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) Practitioner, Hypnotherapy, Holistic Therapy, Grief Recovery Specialist, Metaphysical Life Counselor, Midlife and Menopause wellness coach

Years of Experience: 21+

Educational Background & Certifications: Masters in Metaphysics, NLP Master Practitioner, Hypnotherapy, Hypnofertility, NLP Coach, Reiki Master, BWRT Level 2 (brain working recursive therapy), Grief Recovery Specialist, Midlife and menopause wellness coach, clinical reflexologist

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I have been working in the wellbeing field for over 20 years. I am a firm believer that it is just as important to work on the mind as well as the body. It is a true saying that health is wealth and mental health is vital for overall wellbeing and happiness. Developing a positive mindset, and an attitude of inner peace promotes clarity, resilience and motivation. However, this isn’t always easy. The reality of life is that painful events do happen. Relationships may break up, loss of job, illness, death, stress, anxiety leads to a depletion of energy and lack of motivation. Recently, Covid 19 has impacted mental health significantly. Consequently, just getting through the day can feel challenging. In addition, if you are a woman going through menopause, this too can be an uncomfortable time. Sometimes all you need is a safe, confidential, accepting space where you can share your thoughts, and feelings, and a gentle, yet powerful nudge to keep you moving forward in the right direction. Each client is treated holistically as an individual and each session is personalised accordingly. I use different modalities within the sessions to maximise your results and outcome.

If I could explain myself in a short sentence it would be; Psychologist, Mother and learning about myself everyday. I am a Certified Sport Psychology Coach and ACT practitioner. I am passionate about the concept of holistic wellness and how it can help the person to live a meaningful life. I strongly believe that empathy and respect can move anybody. I provide a non-judgmental space for my clients to be themselves in their journey of self discovery.

Expertise: Sports Psychology, Clinical Psychology, Postpartum Wellness, Body Image Wellness, Increased Concentration, Mental Strength & Conditioning, Healthy Lifestyle Coaching

Years of Experience: 8+

Educational Background & Certifications: Currently pursuing Ph.D, Masters in Clinical Psychology, Certified Sports Psychology Coach, NESTA, ACT training

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I help my clients understand the values in their life, and provide them a non-judgmental space to choose the actions that are required for them to reach their values. I help my clients learn the importance of mindfulness even in daily mundane activities. I use ACT (Acceptant Commitment Therapy) to help people deal with their emotional & restrained eating, while choosing a better lifestyle.

Favorite Quote: “Sometimes changing the relationship you have with your own emotions could have been the answer you had been looking all along.”

I’m a professional Clinical Psychologist with over ten years of experience in the assessment & diagnosis of psychotherapy with children, adults and elderly people. I’ve worked in several places such as Doctors without Borders, Head of Mental health Disorders within hospitals, and private clinics. More than that, I have been the first person to transcribe & bring the study of CBTI (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia) into the Arabic language.

Clinical Expertise: Insomnia, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychotherapy

Years of Experience: 10+

Languages Spoken: English, Arabic

Educational Background & Certifications: Masters in Clinical Psychology, Bachelors in Psychology

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: My therapeutic sessions have helped many with Insomnia, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression & Personality Disorders

I’m a certified Life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Hypnotherapy Practitioner with Modern Applied Psychology diploma, currently based in Taiwan. Before, I was a Product and Project Manager in design and technology for around 10 years. I also studied Creative Industry Management MBA in UK and served as a Parachute Instructor in Army Airborne Special Operations Force. I have a tremendous passion in helping and inspiring people to make progress in life. During this decade, I struggled in various life problems related to family, relationship and career. So I started to discover what’s life’s purpose or meaning by comprehending eastern to western wisdom such as different religions, Osho, Seth’s Material, Modern Psychology, Indian Philosophy, Human Design, Laozi, Ringing Cedars’ Anastasianism, Shaman, etc. I found all the thoughts are guiding people to raise self-awareness and live with peace and love, so I decided to make a difference and become a Life Coach.

Expertise: Life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

Clients Coached: 100+ Across Asia

Languages Spoken: English, Chinese (Mandarin)

Educational Background & Certifications: Life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Hypnotherapy Practitioner certificate, Modern Applied Psychology diploma from UK Achology – The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I will help you discover who you really are, make changes for yourself, bring back your power.

Favorite Quote: “You are the only answer”

Clinical Credentials: Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Practitioner, Mental Health Councellor

Languages Spoken:  English

Educational Background & Certifications: Bachelor of Psychology (Honours), NLP Coach, Decision Making, Energy Balance Coaching, Social Panorama, NLP Trainer, NLP Practitioner, NLP Master, Transactional Analyses, Points Of You Explorer

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: If you feel stuck or want to give up, my program is designed to help you get your mind and emotions fit, too. Our body, mind, and emotions work together as a whole. When you learn how to use all your potential – you’ll be surprised to see how easy it is to change!

Ahmed Mettawi MSc (USW), is an International board-certified lifestyle medicine physician and a registered clinical nutritionist. He is a holder of the MRCP (UK) specialty certificate in Endocrinology and diabetes, an associate member of the Endocrine Society, and a junior member of the ESPEN society. He is deeply interested in clinical nutrition and its applications in health, sports, and disease (esp. of lifestyle origin). He holds two post-graduate diplomas in different clinical nutrition domains. He is very passionate about the use of lifestyle changes to help achieve a healthy weight, have high energy, mood, and to live a better life. He aspires to achieve the highest reproductive and metabolic health for himself while guiding his clients down this path. He believes that clients should always be in control of their own lives and that they should get personalized recommendations to fit their daily routines. He strives to achieve this through working with his clients in a partnership based on continuous problem solving and innovative solutions.

Clinical Expertise: Clinical Dietician, Holistic Consultant, Sports Nutritionist, Kids Nutritionist, Chronic Disease Nutrition, Nutrition for Mental Health, Gut Health Specialist, Ketogenic Consultancy

Educational Background: International Board-certified lifestyle medicine physician (DipIBLM), ESPEN (European Society of Parenteral & Enteral Nutrition) post-graduate diploma, NNI (National Nutrition Institute) post-graduate professional diploma, MSc USW (UK) Endocrinology, MRCP (UK) certification Endocrinology, Family medicine AMU (Arab medical union) diploma, MB.BCh Medical & Surgical Sciences Cairo University

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: My nutrition program helps you achieve the ideal weight while feeling energetic. All recommendations are evidence-based & I only include no-nonsense recommendations. These support your exercise performance and gains, promote better sleep, and is tailored to your own routines and problems. It takes into account favorite food, cooking methods, budgets, travels, availability, allergies, medications, etc. Most importantly, we roll together with any new changes in your life and you will find me always trying to help you gain control.

My Favorite Quote: “Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.”

My name is Uros. I am an English-speaking graduate psychologist and licensed psychotherapist, and I offer short and long-term coaching, counseling, and psychotherapy. I am an experienced therapist who works with you. My experience and training allow me to provide a dynamic therapeutic experience that is personal to you. I have experience working with adults in individual and group therapy settings.

Therapy is a space where one is accepted without any conditions. Psychotherapy is a truly personal experience. Therapy is not something done to a person, but rather it is created by the person. And with that, working with you will significantly involve you.

By staying with you and holding all that you bring, I hope to support the growth of this personal process. Previously, I have worked with clients who have struggled with: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, anger, trauma, relationships, chronic conditions, gender, and sexuality, as well as clinical mental health. Some of these struggles may be familiar to you. In my work, I listen to how these struggles (or any of life’s struggles) are real for you. That is, what makes them personal.

Working with you will be a new experience I look forward to having.

Clinical Expertise: Life Coach; Psychologist; Psychotherapist; Mental Health Counsellor

Educational Background: Transactional Analyst – Psychotherapist

Years of Experience: 10

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I provide for your active listening, building a professional relationship through which you will have the opportunity to share, learn, redefine, receive support and achieve planned goals in a safe environment with full respect and discretion.

My Favorite Quote: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

We guarantee you our quality assurance & we’ll work with you tirelessly to achieve your goals. If you promise us your commitment, we’ll promise you nothing short of success.

Areesha trained at the South London and NHS Maudsley. She has certifications in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy from the Beck Institute in the US, focusing primarily on Depression. Since then she has been working in various settings, providing counseling to adults and adolescents, in out-patient as well as in-patient services. Areesha’s personal ethos is focused on becoming a part of the change towards removing the stigma surrounding mental health in our society.

Areas of Expertise: Depression, Anxiety, Distorted cognitions, Childhood emotional neglect, Low mood, Grief counseling, Integrative therapy & counseling

Clinical Credentials: Psychologist, CBT Practitioner, Mental Health Counselor.

Years of Experience: 2+

Educational Background & Certifications: MSc Psychology – University of Bath UK, BSc Psychology – University of Bath UK, Cert. Essentials of CBT – Beck Institute US, Cert. CBT for Depression – Beck Institute US

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I like to take an integrative approach with counseling – we are all individuals and one size cannot fit all when it comes to mental health support. Although I am trained in CBT which is evidence-based and structured, I prefer implementing humanistic and psychodynamic elements as well which suits a person’s individual needs.

Ahmed is a Psychotherapist with over five years of experience in international humanitarian work and over nine years of practice in multicultural psychotherapy services.

Areas of Expertise: Anxiety, Depression, Sleep disorders, Understanding & treating trauma, Emotional regulation

Clinical Credentials: Psychologist, Clinical Therapist, CBT Practitioner, Mental Health Counselor, Psychodynamic Therapy, Holistic Therapy

Languages Spoken: Arabic, English, French, Spanish

Educational Background & Certifications: 1. PhD in Clinical and Applied psychology 2. MSc in Clinical Psychology 3. BSc in Psychology

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: I’m a Clinical Psychologist and Mental Health supervisor with international experience in multicultural environments. My experience has made me specialize and train in evidence based psychotherapy approaches and modern psychotherapy methods. My methods are tried & tested, and always deliver results.

Favorite Quote: “Confine yourself to the present”

Evelyn aims to make her yoga practice accessible to everyone, so basic sequences have been developed and are easily taught to her students to be able to orient themselves. Evelyn believes in the independence of her students to be able to learn & practice without her. Yet there is always an exchange in corrections, adjustments and most importantly presence and energy during her classes.

Expertise: Yoga Flow, Yin Yoga, Hit Yoga, Bare Yoga

Languages Spoken: English, Portuguese, Spanish

Certifications: International Yoga Alliance Certified, Focusing on structuring personalized Vinyasa Flow sequences, Yoga Brazilian Graduation

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: When I was 18 I discovered yoga. Back then, I immediately knew that it would be part of my life forever. Inside me I knew that I had a way of feeling centered, of coming back home… and that’s what yoga means to me: home. Sometimes we don’t feel as if we are one even with our own body and mind. In that state, we can’t feel like we belong to no family/ friends/ group.This lack of connection starts inside of us with OURSELVES. When we connect, we find space and we feel joy. We are then able to share this joy and end up building more and more joy. Life is such a blessing, sometimes we are not ready to experience it and fully receive it because we are “outside” of ourselves. I want to bring the Fitcy Health members back to themselves, find their home that I found with yoga.

Favorite Quote: “Yoga is a way of coming back home.”

Ivy-Marie Komutambo specializes in functional and therapeutic nutrition. Her combination of holistic and clinical experience brings an alternative approach to nutrition coaching. She holds a Master’s and Bachelor’s degree in Nutrition and Dietetics and is a member of the Nutritionists & Dietitians Institute (KNDI).

With over 6 years of experience in clinical and holistic nutrition, she has worked with a variety of clients focusing on dietary behavior, supplementation and nutrition in illness.

Educational Background:: M.Sc in Food, Nutrition and Dietetics B.Sc in Human Nutrition and Dietetics

What I’m excited to bring to Fitcy Health members: My approach to your nutrition goals will be client-led and will lead to lasting results!

My Favorite Quote: “Food is not inherently good or bad but can be unhealthy if consumed in an unbalanced way.”

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Problem Solving in Families Research and Practice

• Samuel Vuchinich - Oregon State University, Corvallis, OR, USA
• Description

"This well-written book skillfully introduces the readers to the history of family problem solving. The range and quality of content in the book is vast and comprehensive. Strength lies within the detailed review of the literature. Readers seeking a wealth of information in a single volume may find this text a useful educational and research tool. Given the book's readability, it is recommended for upper-level seminars. It would be appropriate as a supplemental or required graduate-level text in courses from multiple disciplines that deal with family problems. The text is thought provoking, and it may be a useful resource for researchers, students, educators, and practitioners working with families."

--Journal of Marriage and the Family

"This exploration of problem solving is useful to a variety of audiences who work with and conduct research related to families… It offers practical applications of family problem solving as well as recent advances in and future considerations of research this field."

--America's Family Support Magazine

Family problems can range from mild conflicts to pathological issues. In recent years it has become apparent that an understanding of family conflict is impossible without more knowledge about a fundamental characteristic of families-family problem solving. The various methods and tools, both effective and ineffective, that families use to solve their problems is an ongoing subject of research and clinical work that involves many disciplines, including clinical psychology, sociology, family therapy, developmental psychology, communications, and social psychology. These vastly different perspectives and approaches emerging from this research have resulted in a diverse body of knowledge that has yet to be integrated and synthesized. In Family Problem Solving , author Samuel Vuchinich pulls this research together in one comprehensive volume that is written in an accessible and engaging style. Elucidating the core principles that have developed from these various fields, Family Problem Solving explores family conflicts, the nature of family problems, problems across the life cycle, and social constructions. This volume also includes applications of family problem solving as well as recent advances in and future considerations of this field.

This book will provide a useful resource for professionals and students in family studies, developmental psychology, sociology of the family, and family psychology.

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Effective communication strategies for family therapy sessions

Even the happiest of families can have trouble connecting at times. Family therapy can provide a structured, safe place for families to resolve conflict and communicate more effectively. With the help of a trained therapist, couples and families can create stronger bonds and address specific issues causing friction for one or more family members. The skills families learn in therapy can help them deal with future challenges and create closer relationships. 1  

What is family therapy? 

Family therapists work to improve communication and resolve conflicts within a family unit. Family counseling approaches problems as patterns or systems that need adjusting, rather than an issue with one person. A family operates as a complex system where each member’s behavior impacts the others. Because of this, changes in one part of the system can lead to positive changes for the whole family. 2

The primary goals of family therapy include improving problem-solving capabilities, understanding and handling special family situations–such as death, serious physical or mental illness, or child and adolescent issues–and improving family relationships and communication. Therapists guide family members to deepen their empathy, reduce conflict, and help them understand each other’s needs. 3

Counselors use intervention for family therapy to challenge and modify the family’s existing dynamics. Therapists can help families break out of unproductive patterns and explore new ways of supporting each other. Family can move from blame to collaboration. Through structured sessions, families learn to identify the root causes of conflicts and develop strategies to resolve them. This understanding promotes healing and fosters a healthier family environment and long-term closeness. 4

Core Techniques in Family Therapy

Family therapy includes different techniques designed to facilitate communication and deeper understanding among family members. A primary family therapy technique is genogram mapping. Therapists create a family tree that includes emotional relationships and medical history to identify generational behavior patterns. 5

Structural therapy focuses on reorganizing the family system. The therapist identifies and addresses dysfunctions within the family hierarchy. They help establish clear boundaries and roles. This method empowers family members to assume appropriate responsibilities and support each other effectively. 2

With strategic therapy, therapists give families specific tasks or challenges designed to change how they interact. These interventions are often direct and can lead to quick changes in family dynamics. They emphasize clear communication and practical solutions to specific problems. 6

Narrative therapy encourages family members to recount personal experiences, so everyone can understand different perspectives and rewrite problematic “stories” that dictate behavior. This technique helps people to see issues from others’ perspectives, promoting understanding and empathy. 2

Many family problems stem from a lack of communication or miscommunications. Therapists often engage in communication training to teach families effective ways to talk and listen, so all members feel heard and understood. 7

Effective Communication Strategies

Effective communication is at the heart of successful family therapy. Therapists have a lot of different techniques they can use to create an open, honest environment for family communication.

Emotional validation

Throughout family therapy, it's crucial that all members of the family unit feel their emotions are validated. It's a key part of building trust among the family system and with the therapist. Active listening, reflective responses, and other techniques are all spokes in the wheel of emotional validation.

Active listening

Therapists teach active listening to help family members listen attentively, show genuine interest and respond without immediate judgment or advice. One family member speaks while the others listen and then summarize the speaker’s words without adding their interpretations. This strategy lets everyone be heard and validated. 7

Role-playing

Role-playing can also help improve communication. In this activity, family members may swap roles and act out each other’s behaviors and responses with the family therapist mediating. With this exercise, family members experience others’ emotions and perspectives firsthand. 8

Reflective responses

Reflective response, or mirroring exercises, also reinforce effective communication in family therapy. In reflective responding, a family member repeats what another has just said, validates it, and then adds their own thoughts. Then the original speaker can respond in turn. When people practice reflective responses or mirroring, they can be sure they receive others’ messages accurately. 9

Another common strategy in family therapy is the use of “I” statements. These statements let people express their feelings and thoughts without casting blame. “I” statements reduce defensiveness and promote understanding. Instead of saying, “You make me angry,” someone might say, “I feel upset when this happens.” 10

Solution-focused dialogue

In Frontiers in Psychology, psychologist and lead researcher Mark Beyebach, suggests the efficacy of a new approach to talk therapy: solution-focused dialogue. Describing the technique, Beyebach says, “Instead of focusing on problematic behavioral patterns in order to change them, [this approach] places the focus on positive behavioral patterns, labeled ‘exceptions.’” This style of family intervention, most often used with young children and their parents or guardians, asks the adults to make note of the instances where they expected poor behavior but the child behaved well. During the therapy session all family members will discuss the situation and try to determine what, if any, of their actions helped contribute to the positive situation in order to repeat them in the future. 11

Applying family therapy techniques in real life

It's one thing to learn about communication techniques and apply them in a family therapist's office, but quite another to bring those tools into the complexities of day-to-day family life. When family members conscientiously apply these communication strategies— active listening, solution-focused dialogue, and reflective responses—to daily living, they may find true transformation in their interactions.

By making a commitment to these approaches, families can foster an environment where each member feels heard and valued, not just in moments of conflict or stress, but in all aspects of their home life. Reductions in misunderstandings, a stronger sense of unity, and an overall increase in the emotional well-being of the family unit are all possible. When we carry the principles of family therapy across the threshold of therapy sessions and into our daily lives, we unlock the potential for enduring positive change in our closest relationships.

Preparing for family therapy sessions 

Although a licensed marriage and family therapist is instrumental in effective therapy, the entire family has to take a proactive role in the sessions in order to succeed: Preparing for family therapy sessions will make them more effective. Family therapists can suggest using a few strategies for individual family members to make the most of their therapy sessions:

Set clear goals

Before attending the therapy sessions, each person should think about what they hope to achieve from therapy. This might include better communication, resolving specific conflicts, or better understanding each other’s point of view. Coming together to discuss and agree on common goals can also help direct the sessions and provide a clear focus for the therapist. 12

Maintain an open mind

Family members should approach therapy willing to listen and consider different viewpoints. If they have an open mind, they’ll have a more productive dialogue that allows families to explore underlying issues without defensiveness or judgment. Being open to change and new ways of interacting is the only way families can change entrenched patterns. 12

Actively Participate

Each family member should be prepared to engage actively in the process. They’ll need to be prepared to be open while talking and sharing. They also need to agree to listen actively to others. Families might need to complete assignments or practice communication techniques outside of therapy sessions. 12

Prepare Emotionally

Therapy can be emotionally challenging and draining. Families have to discuss sensitive issues that are often emotionally fraught. They can prepare themselves for this by committing to support each other through difficult conversations and emotional revelations. 12

Help Build Strong Families

If you want to help families deepen their connection and relate to each other more effectively, Oklahoma City University’s Master of Education in Clinical Mental Health Counseling can equip you with the skills and knowledge you need. Our comprehensive curriculum will help prepare you for state licensure exams followed by a rewarding career building stronger families. Reach out to an  admissions outreach advisor today to learn more. 

• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from familystrongcounseling.com/family-teens-and-children/how-family-therapy-can-strengthen-relationships
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from verywellmind.com/family-therapy-definition-types-techniques-and-efficacy-5190233
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from medpsych.net/2021/01/12/the-goals-and-benefits-of-family-therapy/
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from theraplatform.com/blog/341/family-therapy-techniques
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from therapistaid.com/therapy-guide/genograms
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from sonderwellness.com/therapy/therapy-approaches/family-therapy
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from monarchbehavioral.net/blog/how-family-therapy-reshapes-communication-and-connection
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from grouporttherapy.com/blog/therapist-roleplay
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from justinyaros.com/mirroring-effective-couples-communication/
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from thriveworks.com/help-with/communication/i-statements/
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202112/the-growing-appeal-solution-focused-therapy
• Retrieved on May 13, 2024, from aspacebetween.com.sg/blog/a-guide-to-prepare-for-family-therapy-sessions

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• Indian J Psychiatry
• v.62(Suppl 2); 2020 Jan

Family Interventions: Basic Principles and Techniques

Mathew varghese.

Department of Psychiatry, National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS), Bangalore, Karnataka, India

Vivek Kirpekar

1 N.K.P. Salve Institute of Medical Sciences, Nagpur, Maharashtra, India

Santosh Loganathan

Introduction.

Mental health professionals in India have always involved families in therapy. However, formal involvement of families occurred about one to two decades after this therapeutic modality was started in the West by Ackerman.[ 1 ] In India, families form an important part of the social fabric and support system, and as a result, they are integral in being part of the treatment and therapeutic process involving an individual with mental illness. Mental illnesses afflict individuals and their families too. When an individual is affected, the stigma of being mentally ill is not restricted to the individual alone, but to family members/caregivers also. This type of stigma is known as “Courtesy Stigma” (Goffman). Families are generally unaware and lack information about mental illnesses and how to deal with them and in turn, may end up maintaining or perpetuating the illness too. Vidyasagar is credited to be the father of Family Therapy in India though he wrote sparingly of his work involving families at the Amritsar Mental Hospital.[ 2 ] This chapter provides salient features of broad principles for providing family interventions for the treating psychiatrist.

TYPES AND GRADES FOR FAMILY INTERVENTIONS

Working with families involves education, counseling, and coping skills with families of different psychiatric disorders. Various interventions exist for different disorders such as depression, psychoses, child, and adolescent related problems and alcohol use disorders. Such families require psychoeducation about the illness in question, and in addition, will require information about how to deal with the index person with the psychiatric illness. Psychoeducation involves giving basic information about the illness, its course, causes, treatment, and prognosis. These basic informative sessions can last from two to six sessions depending on the time available with clients and their families. Simple interventions may include dealing with parent-adolescent conflict at home, where brief counseling to both parties about the expectations of each other and facilitating direct and open communication is required.

Additional family interventions may cover specific aspects such as future plans, job prospects, medication supervision, marriage and pregnancy (in women), behavioral management, improving communication, and so on. These family interventions offering specific information may also last anywhere between 2 and 6 sessions depending on the client's time. For example, explaining the family about the marriage prospects of an individual with a psychiatric illness can be considered a part of psychoeducation too, but specific information about marriage and related concerns require separate handling. At any given time, families may require specific focus and feedback about issues such issues.

Family therapy is a structured form of psychotherapy that seeks to reduce distress and conflict by improving the systems of interactions between family members. It is an ideal counseling method for helping family members adjust to an immediate family member struggling with an addiction, medical issue, or mental health diagnosis. Specifically, family therapists are relational therapists: They are generally more interested in what goes on between the individuals rather than within one or more individuals. Depending on the conflicts at issue and the progress of therapy to date, a therapist may focus on analyzing specific previous instances of conflict, as by reviewing a past incident and suggesting alternative ways family members might have responded to one another during it, or instead proceed directly to addressing the sources of conflict at a more abstract level, as by pointing out patterns of interaction that the family might not have noticed.

Family therapists tend to be more interested in the maintenance and/or solving of problems rather than in trying to identify a single cause. Some families may perceive cause-effect analyses as attempts to allocate blame to one or more individuals, with the effect that for many families, a focus on causation is of little or no clinical utility. It is important to note that a circular way of problem evaluation is used, especially in systemic therapies, as opposed to a linear route. Using this method, families can be helped by finding patterns of behavior, what the causes are, and what can be done to better their situation. Family therapy offers families a way to develop or maintain a healthy and functional family. Patients and families with more difficult and intractable problems such as poor prognosis schizophrenia, conduct and personality disorder, chronic neurotic conditions require family interventions and therapy. The systemic framework approach offers advanced family therapy for such families. This type of advanced therapy requires training that very few centers, such as the Family Psychiatry Center at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS), Bengaluru, Karnataka, India offer to trainees and residents. These sessions may last anywhere from eight sessions up to 20 or more on occasions [ Table 1 ].

Types and grades of family interventions

Goals of family therapy

Usual goals of family therapy are improving the communication, solving family problems, understanding and handling special family situations, and creating a better functioning home environment. In addition, it also involves:

• Exploring the interactional dynamics of the family and its relationship to psychopathology
• Mobilizing the family's internal strength and functional resources
• Restructuring the maladaptive interactional family styles (including improving communication)
• Strengthening the family's problem-solving behavior.

Reasons for family interventions

The usual reasons for referral are mentioned below. However, it may be possible that sometimes the reasons identified initially may be just a pointer to many other lurking problems within the family that may get discovered eventually during later assessments.

• Marital problems
• Parent–child conflict
• Problems between siblings
• The effects of illness on the family
• Adjustment problems among family members
• Inconsistency parenting skills
• Psychoeducation for family members about an index patient's illness
• Handling expresses emotions.

CHALLENGES FACED BY THE NOVICE THERAPIST

Whether one is a young student, or a seasoned individual therapist, dealing with families can be intimidating at times but also very rewarding if one knows how to deal with them. We have outlined certain challenges that one faces while dealing with families, especially when one is beginning.

Being overeager to help

This can happen with beginner therapists as they are overeager and keen to help and offer suggestions straight away. If the therapist starts dominating the interaction by talking, advising, suggesting, commenting, questioning, and interpreting at the beginning itself, the family falls silent. It is advisable to probe with open-ended questions initially to understand the family.

Poor leadership

It is advisable for the therapist to have control over the sessions. Sometimes, there may be other individuals/family members who maybe authoritative and take control. Especially in crisis situations, when the family fails to function as a unit, the therapist should take control of the session and set certain conditions which in his professional judgment, maximize the chances for success.

Not immersing or engaging/fear or involving

A common problem for the beginning therapist is to become overly involved with the family. However, he may realize this and try to panic and withdraw when he can become distant and cold. Rather, one should gently try to join in with the family earning their true respect and trust before heading to build rapport.

Focusing only on index patient

Many families believe that their problem is because of the index patient, whereas it may seem a tactical error to focus on this person initially. In doing so, it may essentially agree to the family's hypothesis that their problem is arising out of this person. It is preferable, at the outset to inform the family that the problem may lie with the family (especially when referrals are made for family therapies involving multiple members), and not necessarily with any one individual.

Not including all members for sessions

Many therapeutic efforts fail because important family members are not included in the sessions. It is advisable to find out initially who are the key members involved and who should be attending the sessions. Sometimes, involving all members initially and then advising them to return to therapy as and when the need arises is recommended.

Not involving members during sessions

Even though one has involved all members of the family in the sessions, not all of them may be engaged during the sessions. Sometimes, the therapist's own transference may hold back a member of the family in the sessions. Rather, it is recommended that the therapist makes it clear that he/she is open to their presence and interactions, either verbally or nonverbally.

Taking sides with any member of the family

It may be easy to fall into the trap of taking one member's side during sessions leaving the other party doubting the fairness and judgment of the therapist. For example, after meeting one marital partner for a few sessions, the therapist, when entering the couple, discussions may be heavily biased in his views due to his/her prior interaction. Therapists should be aware of this effect and try to be neutral as possible yet take into confidence each member attending the sessions. Therapist's countertransference can easily influence him/her to take sides, especially in families that are overtly blaming from the start, or with one member who may be aggressive in the sessions, or very submissive during the sessions can influence the therapist's sides; and one needs to be aware of this early in the sessions.

Guarded families

Some families put on a guarded façade and refuse to challenge each other in the session. By being neutral and nonjudgmental, sometimes, the therapist can perpetuate this guarded façade put forth by families. Hence, therapists must be able to read this and try to challenge them, listen to microchallenges within the family, must be ready to move in and out from one family member to another, without fixing to one member.

Communicating with the therapist outside sessions

Many families attempt to reduce tension by communicating with therapist outside the session, and beginning therapist are particularly susceptible for such ploys. The family or a member/s may want to meet the therapist outside the sessions by trying to influence the therapist to their views and opinions. Therapists must refrain from such encounters and suggest discussing these issues openly during the sessions. Of course, rarely, there may be sensitive or very personal information that one may want to discuss in person that may be permissible.

Ignoring previous work done by other therapists

It is easy for family therapists to ignore previous therapists. The family therapist's ignorance of the effects of previous therapy can serious hamper the work. By discussing the previous therapist helps the new therapist to understand the problem easily and could save time also.

Getting sucked to the family's affective state/mood

If transference involves the therapist in family structure, the therapist's dependency can overinvolved him in the family's style and tone of interaction. A depressed family causes both: Therapist to relate seriously and sadly. A hostile family may cause the therapist to relate in an attacking manner. The most serious problem can occur when a family is in a state of anxiety, induces the therapist to become anxious and make his/her comments to seem accusatory and blaming. It is very difficult for the beginning therapist to “feel” where the family is affectively, to be empathic, yet to be able to relate at times on a different affective level-to respond according to situations. It is important to be aware of the affective state/mood of the family but slips in and out of that state [ Table 2 ].

Guidelines for conducting interventions with families

FUNCTIONS OF A FAMILY THERAPIST

• The family therapist establishes a useful rapport: Empathy and communication among the family members and between them and himself
• The therapist clarifies conflict by dissolving barriers, confusions, and misunderstandings
• Gradually, the therapist attempts to bring to the family to a mutual and more accurate understanding of what is wrong
• Counteracting inappropriate denials, conflicts
• Lifting hidden intrapersonal conflict to the level of interpersonal interaction.
• The therapist fulfills in part the role of true parent figure, a controller of danger, and a source of emotional support and satisfaction-supplying elements that the family needs but lacks. He introduces more appropriate attitudes, emotions, and images of family relations than the family has ever had
• The therapist works toward penetrating (entering into) and undermining resistances and reducing the intensity of shared currents of conflict, guilt, and fear. He accomplishes these aims mainly using confrontation and interpretation
• The therapist serves as a personal instrument of reality testing for the family.

In carrying out these functions, the family therapist plays a wide range of roles, as:

• An activator
• Interpreter
• Re-integrator

BASIC STEPS FOR FAMILY INTERVENTIONS

The initial phase of therapy, the referral intake.

• Family assessment
• Family formulation and treatment plan
• Formal contract.

Patients and their families are usually referred to as some family problem has been identified. The therapist may be accustomed to the usual one-on-one therapeutic situation involving a patient but may be puzzled in his approach by the presence of many family members and with a lot of information. A few guidelines are similar to the approaches followed while conducting individual therapy. The guidelines for conducting family interventions are given in Table 2 . At the time of the intake, the therapist reviews all the available information in the family from the case file and the referring clinicians. This intake session lasts for 20–30 min and is held with all the available family members. The aim of the intake session is to briefly understand the family's perception of their problem, their motivation and need to undergo family intervention and the therapist assessments of suitability for family therapy. Once this is determined the nature and modality of the therapy is explained to the family and an informal contract is made about modalities and roles of therapist and the family members. The do's and don’ts of the family interventions are laid down to the family at the outset of the process of the interventions.

The family assessment and hypothesis

The assessment of different aspects of family functioning and interactions must typically take about 3–5 sessions with the whole family, each session must last approximately 45 min to an hour. Different therapists may want to take assessments in different ways depending on their style. Mentioned below are a few tasks which are recommended for the therapist to perform. Usually, it is recommended that the naïve therapist starts with a three-generation genogram and then follows-up with the different life cycle stages and family functions as outlined below.

• The three-generation genogram is constructed diagrammatically listing out the index patient's generation and two more related generations, for example, patients and grandparents in an adolescent client or parents and children in a middle-aged client. The ages and composition of the members are recorded, and the transgenerational family patterns and interactions are looked at to understand the family from a longitudinal and epigenetic perspective. The therapist also familiarizes himself with any family dynamics prior to consultation. This gives a broad background to understand the situation the family is dealing with now
• The life cycle of the index family is explored next. The functions of the family and specific roles of different members are delineated in each of the stages of the family life cycle.[ 3 ] The index family is seen from a developmental perspective, and the therapist gets a longitudinal and temporal perspective of the family. Care is taken to see how the family has coped with problems and the process of transition from one stage to another. If children are also part of the family, their discipline and parenting styles are explored (e.g., whether there is inconsistent parenting)
• Problem Solving: Many therapists look at this aspect of the family to see how cohesive or adaptable the family has been. Usually, the family members are asked to describe some stress that the family has faced, i.e., some life events, environmental stressors, or illness in a family member. The therapist then proceeds to get a description of how the family coped with this problem. Here, “circular questions” are employed and therapist focuses on antecedent events. The crisis and the consequent events are examined closely to look for patterns that emerge. The family function (or dysfunction) is heightened when there is a crisis situation and the therapist look at patterns rather than the content described. Thus, the therapist gets an “as if I was there” view of the family. The same inquiry is possible using the technique of enactment[ 4 ]
• The Structural Map: Once the inquiry is over, the therapist draws the structural map, which is a diagrammatic representation of the family system, showing the different subsystems, its boundaries, power structure and relationships between people. Diagrammatic notions used in structural therapy or Bowenian therapy are used to denote relationships (normal, conflictual, or distant) and subsystem boundaries, in different triadic relationships. This can also be done on a timeline to show changes in relationships in different life cycle stages and influences from different life events
• What the client is trying to convey through his/her symptoms?
• What is the role of the family in maintaining these symptoms?
• Why has the family come now?

This circular hypothesis can be confirmed on further inquiry with the family to see how the “dysfunctional equilibrium” is maintained. At this stage, we suggest that a family formulation is generated, hypothesized and analyzed. This leads to a comprehensive systemic formulation involving three generations. This formulation will determine which family members we need to see in a therapy, what interventional techniques we should use and what changes in relationships we should effect. The team will also discuss the minimum, most effective treatment plan which emerges considering the most feasible changes the family can make

• Formal Contract: A brief understanding of the family homeostasis is presented to the family. Sometimes, the full hypothesis may be fed to the family in a noncritical and positive way (“Positive Connotation”), appreciating the way in which the system is functioning the therapist presents the treatment plat to the family and negotiates with the members the plan and action they would like to take up at the present time. The time frame and modality of therapy is contracted with the family, and the therapy is put into force. The frequency and intensity of sessions are determined by the degree of distress felt by the family and the geographical distance from the therapy center, i.e., families may be seen as inpatients at the center if they are in crisis or if they live far away.

The Family Psychiatry Center at The NIMHANS, Bengaluru, Karnataka, India, is one of the centers where formal training in therapy is regularly conducted. An outline of the Family Assessment Proforma[ 5 ] used at this center is given in Figure 1 . Several other structured family assessment instruments are available [ Figure 1 ].

Family assessment proforma (Obtained with permission from the Family Psychiatry Center, National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, Bengaluru, Karnataka, India)

Middle phase of therapy

This phase of therapy forms the major work that is carried out with the family. Depending on the school of therapy, that is used, these sessions may number from a few (strategic) to many sessions lasting many months (psychodynamic). The techniques employed depend on the understanding of the family during the assessment as much as the family – therapist fit. For example, the degree of psychological sophistication of the clients will determine the use of psychodynamic and behavioral techniques. Similarly, a therapist who is comfortable with structural/strategic methods would put these therapies to maximum use. The nature of the disorder and the degree of pathology may also determine the choice of therapy, i.e., behavioral techniques may be used more in chronic psychotic conditions while the more difficult or resistant families may get brief strategic therapies. We will now describe some of the important techniques used with different kinds of problems.

Psychodynamic therapy

This school was one of the first to be described by people like Ackerman and Bowen.[ 1 , 6 ] This method has been made more contextual and briefer by therapists like Boszormenyi-Nasgy and Framo.[ 7 , 8 ] Essentially, the therapist understands the dynamics employed by different members of the family and the interrelationships of these members. These family ego defenses are interpreted to the members and the goal of therapy is to effects emotional insight and working through of new defense patterns. Family transferences may become evident and may need interpretation. Therapy usually lasts from 15 to 30 sessions and this method may be employed in persons who are psychologically sophisticated, and able to understand dynamics and interpretations. Sustained and high motivation is necessary for such a therapy. This method is found useful in couples with marital discord from upper middle-class backgrounds. Time required is a major constraint.

Behavioral methods

Behavioral techniques find use in many types of therapies and conditions. It has been extensively used in chronic psychotic illnesses by workers such as Fallon et al. , (1986) and Anderson et al. [ 9 , 10 ] Psychoeducation and skills training in communication and problem-solving are found very useful among families which do not have very serious dysfunction. Techniques such as modeling or role-plays are useful in improving communication styles and to teach parenting skills with disturbed children. Obviously, motivation for therapy is a major requisite and hence techniques such as contracting, homework assignments are used in couples with marital discord. Behavioral techniques used in sexual dysfunction are also possible when adapted according to clients’ needs.

Structural family therapy

Described by Minuchin; Fishman and Unbarger[ 4 , 11 , 12 ] has become quite popular over the past few years among therapists in India. This is possibly because of many reasons. Our families are available with their manifold subsystems of parents, children, grandparents and structure is easily discerned and changed. In addition, in recent years most clients present with conduct and personality disorders in adolescence and early adulthood. Hence, techniques like unbalancing, boundary-making are quite useful as the common problems involve adolescents who are wielding power with poor marital adjustments between parents. These techniques are useful for many of our clients.

Strategic technique

We have found that these brief techniques can be very powerfully used with families which are difficult and highly resistant to change. We usually employ them when other methods have failed, and we need to take a U-turn in therapy. Techniques employed by the Milan school[ 13 , 14 ] reframing, positive connotation, paradoxical (symptom) prescription have been used effectively. So also have techniques like prescription in brief methods advocated by Erikson, Watzlawick et al. ,[ 15 , 16 ] been useful. Familiarity and competence with these techniques is a must and therapy is usually brief and quickly terminated with prescriptions [ Table 3 ].

Summaries of the different schools of therapies

SES – Socioeconomic status

FAMILY INTERVENTIONS IN SPECIFIC DISORDERS

Techniques to promote family adaptation to illness.

• Heighten awareness of shifting family roles – pragmatic and emotional
• Facilitate major family lifestyle changes
• Increase communication within and outside the family regarding the illness
• Help family to accept what they cannot control, focus energies on what they can
• Find meaning in the illness. Help families move beyond “Why us?”
• Facilitate them grieving inevitable losses–of function, of dreams, of life
• Increase productive collaboration among patients, families, and the health-care team
• Trace prior family experience with the illness through constructing a genogram
• Set individual and family goals related to illness and to nonillness developmental events.

Schizophrenia

Family EE and communication deviance (or lack of clarity and structure in communication) are well-established risk factors for the onset of schizophrenia.

Psychoeducational interventions aim to increase family members’ understanding of the disorder and their ability to manage the positive and negative symptoms of psychosis.

Simple strategies would include reduction of adverse family atmosphere by reducing stress and burden on relatives, reduction of expressions of anger and guilt by the family, helping relatives to anticipate and solve problems, maintenance of reasonable expectations for patient performance, to set appropriate limits whilst maintaining some degree of separation when needed; and changing relatives’ behavior and belief systems.

Programs emphasize family resilience. Address families’ need for education, crisis intervention, skills training, and emotional support.

Bipolar mood disorder

To recognize the early signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder.

Develop strategies for intervening early with new episodes and assure consistency with medication regimens.

Manage moodiness and swings of the patient, anger management, feelings of frustration.

Family conflict and rejection, low family support, ineffective communication, poor expression of affect, abuse, and insecure attachment bonds are primary focus of family therapy associated with depression cognitive-behavioral and interpersonal interventions for depression.

Family-based treatment for anxiety combines family therapy with cognitive-behavioral interventions.

Targets the characteristics of the family environment that support anxiogenic beliefs and avoidant behaviors.

The goal is to disrupt the interactional patterns that reinforce the disorder.

To assist family members in using exposure, reward, relaxation, and response prevention techniques to reduce the patients’ anxieties.

Eating disorders

Target the dysfunctional family processes, namely, enmeshment and overprotectiveness.

To help parents build effective and developmentally appropriate strategies for promoting and monitoring their child's eating behaviors.

Childhood disorders

The primary focus is the development of effective parenting and contingency management strategies that will disrupt the problematic family interactions associated with ADHD and ODD.

Family-based interventions for autism spectrum disorder

Parents taught to use communication and social training tools that are adapted to the needs of their children and apply these techniques to their family interactions at home.

Substance misuse

Enhance the coping ability of family members and reduce the negative consequences of alcohol and drug abuse on concerned relatives; eliminate the family factors that constitute barriers to treatment; use family support to engage and retain the drug and/or alcohol user in therapy; change the characteristics of the family environment that contribute to relapse Al-Anon, AL-teen.

Termination phase

This last phase of therapy is finished in a couple of sessions. The initial goals of therapy are reviewed with the family. The family and the therapist review together the goals which were achieved, and the therapist reminds the family the new patterns/changes which have emerged. The need to continue these new patterns is emphasized. At the same time, the family is cautioned that these new patterns will occur when all members make a concerted effort to see this happen. Family members are reminded that it is easy to fall back to the old patterns of functioning which had produced the unstable equilibrium necessitating consultation.

At termination, the therapist usually negotiates new goals, new tasks or new interactions with the family that they will carry out for the next few months in the follow up period. The family is told that they need to review these new patterns after a couple of months so as to determine how things have gone and how conflicts have been addressed by the family. This way the family has a better chance of sustaining the change created. Sometimes booster sessions are also advised after 6–12 months especially for outstation families who cannot come regularly for follow-ups. These booster sessions will review the progress and negotiate further changes with the family over a couple of sessions. This follow-up period, after therapy is terminated is crucial for working through process and ensures that the client-therapist bond is not severed too quickly. It is easy to deal with the clients’ and therapist’ anxieties if this transition phase is smooth.

SPECIAL SOCIOCULTURAL ISSUES IN THERAPY SPECIFIC TO INDIA

Most Indian families are functionally joint families though they may have a nuclear family structure. Furthermore, unlike the Western world more than two generations readily come for therapy. Hence, it becomes necessary to deal with two to three generations in therapy and also with transgenerational issues. Our families also foster dependency and interdependency rather than autonomy. This issue must also be kept in mind when dealing with parent–child issues. Indians have a varied cultural and religious diversity depending on the region from which the family comes. The therapist has to be familiar with the regional customs, practices, beliefs, and rituals. The Indian family therapist has to also be wary of being too directive in therapy as our families may give the mantle of omnipotence to the therapist and it may be more difficult for us to adopt at one-down or nondirective approach. Hence, while systemic family therapy is eminently possible in India one must keep in mind these sociocultural factors so as to get a good “family-therapist fit.”

Constraint factors in therapy

The economic backwardness of most out families makes therapy feasible and affordable, in terms of time and money spent, only to the middle and upper classes of our society. The poorer families usually drop out of therapy as they have other more pressing priorities. The lack of tertiary social support and welfare or social security makes it less possible to network with other systems. We are also woefully inadequate in terms of trained family therapists to cater to our large population. In our country, distances seem rather daunting and modes of transport and communication are poor for families to readily seek out a therapist. We work with these constraint factors and so the “family-therapy” fit is an important factor for families that are seeking and staying in family therapy. 17

CONCLUSIONS

Over the last few years, a systemic model has evolved for service and for training. The model uses a predominantly systematic framework for understanding families and the techniques for therapy are drawn from different schools namely the structural, strategic, and behavioral psychodynamic therapies.

Appendix: Glossary of terms

The repetitive patterns of interaction that organize the way in which family members relate and interact with each other.

Boundaries are the rules defining who participates in the system and how, i.e., the degree of access outsiders have to the system.

It may comprise of a single person, or several persons joined together by common membership criteria, for example, age, gender, or shared purpose.

When alignments stand in opposition to another part of the system (i.e., when several family members are against another member/s.

The joining together of two or more members. It popularly designates appositive affinity between two units of a system.

Channels of communication are a mechanism that defines “who speaks to whom.” When channels of communication are blocked, needs cannot be fulfilled, problems cannot be solved, and goals cannot be achieved.

Enmeshed families

In which, there is extreme sensitivity among the individual members to each other and their primary subsystem.

Financial support and sponsorship

Conflicts of interest.

There are no conflicts of interest.

Problem-Solving Family Therapy

• Living reference work entry
• First Online: 11 November 2017
• Cite this living reference work entry

• David Hale 4 &
• Dale E. Bertram 5  

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Name of Model

Brief strategic ; Communication approach ; Interactional approach ; MRI

Prominent Associated Figures

Problem-solving family therapy began, most notably on the West Coast, as an evolution of the Gregory Bateson Team research project that spawned Communication/Interactional theory and present day family therapy. Jay Haley ( 1987 ) is often associated with this approach because he wrote a book with the title Problem-Solving Therapy . Yet, there are many more people associated with the creation of problem-solving therapy: Gregory Bateson, Don D. Jackson, Milton Erickson, John Weakland, Jay Haley, and William Fry. Don Jackson founded the Mental Research Institute (MRI), one of the first free-standing marriage and family therapy training institute in the United States where he and Richard Fisch, John Weakland, and Paul Watzlawick developed the Brief Therapy Center, as part of the MRI, in which problem-solving family therapy was practiced and...

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Chubb, H. (1995). Outpatient clinic effectiveness with the MRI brief therapy model. In J. Weakland & W. Ray (Eds.), Propagations: Thirty years of influence from the Mental Research Institute (pp. 129–132). New York: The Haworth Press.

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Hale, D., & Frusha, C. (2016). MRI brief therapy: A tried and true systemic approach. Journal of Systemic Therapies, 35 (2), 14–24.

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Haley, J. (1987). Problem-solving therapy . San Francisco: Josey-Bass, Inc.

Haley, J. (1993). Uncommon therapy: The psychiatric techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D . New York: W.W. Norton & Company.

Nardone, G., & Watzlawick, P. (2007). Brief strategic therapy . New York: Aronson.

Ray, W., Schlanger, K., & Sutton, J. (2009). One thing leads to another, redux: Contributions to brief therapy from John Weakland, Ch.E., Paul Watzlawick, Ph.D. and Richard Fisch, M.D. Journal of Brief, Strategic, and Systemic Therapies, 3 , 15–37.

Weakland, J., & Ray, W. (Eds.). (1995). Propagations: Thirty years of influence from the Mental Research Institute . New York: The Haworth Press.

Weakland, J., Fisch, R., Watzlawick, P., & Bodin, A. (1974). Brief therapy: Focused problem resolution. Family Process, 13 , 141–168.

Weakland, J., Watzlawick, P., & Riskin, J. (1995). Introduction: MRI – A little background music. In J. Weakland & W. Ray (Eds.), Propagations: Thirty years of influence from the Mental Research Institute (pp. 1–15). New York: The Haworth Press.

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Hale, D., Bertram, D.E. (2018). Problem-Solving Family Therapy. In: Lebow, J., Chambers, A., Breunlin, D. (eds) Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-15877-8_332-1

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Received : 06 June 2017

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How to Teach Kids Problem-Solving Skills

KidStock / Blend Images / Getty Images

• Steps to Follow
• Allow Consequences

Whether your child can't find their math homework or has forgotten their lunch, good problem-solving skills are the key to helping them manage their life. 

A 2010 study published in Behaviour Research and Therapy found that kids who lack problem-solving skills may be at a higher risk of depression and suicidality.   Additionally, the researchers found that teaching a child problem-solving skills can improve mental health . 

You can begin teaching basic problem-solving skills during preschool and help your child sharpen their skills into high school and beyond.

Why Problem-Solving Skills Matter

Kids face a variety of problems every day, ranging from academic difficulties to problems on the sports field. Yet few of them have a formula for solving those problems.

Kids who lack problem-solving skills may avoid taking action when faced with a problem.

Rather than put their energy into solving the problem, they may invest their time in avoiding the issue.   That's why many kids fall behind in school or struggle to maintain friendships .

Other kids who lack problem-solving skills spring into action without recognizing their choices. A child may hit a peer who cuts in front of them in line because they are not sure what else to do.  

Or, they may walk out of class when they are being teased because they can't think of any other ways to make it stop. Those impulsive choices may create even bigger problems in the long run.

The 5 Steps of Problem-Solving

Kids who feel overwhelmed or hopeless often won't attempt to address a problem. But when you give them a clear formula for solving problems, they'll feel more confident in their ability to try. Here are the steps to problem-solving:  

• Identify the problem . Just stating the problem out loud can make a big difference for kids who are feeling stuck. Help your child state the problem, such as, "You don't have anyone to play with at recess," or "You aren't sure if you should take the advanced math class." 
• Develop at least five possible solutions . Brainstorm possible ways to solve the problem. Emphasize that all the solutions don't necessarily need to be good ideas (at least not at this point). Help your child develop solutions if they are struggling to come up with ideas. Even a silly answer or far-fetched idea is a possible solution. The key is to help them see that with a little creativity, they can find many different potential solutions.
• Identify the pros and cons of each solution . Help your child identify potential positive and negative consequences for each potential solution they identified. 
• Pick a solution. Once your child has evaluated the possible positive and negative outcomes, encourage them to pick a solution.
• Test it out . Tell them to try a solution and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, they can always try another solution from the list that they developed in step two. 

Practice Solving Problems

When problems arise, don’t rush to solve your child’s problems for them. Instead, help them walk through the problem-solving steps. Offer guidance when they need assistance, but encourage them to solve problems on their own. If they are unable to come up with a solution, step in and help them think of some. But don't automatically tell them what to do. 

When you encounter behavioral issues, use a problem-solving approach. Sit down together and say, "You've been having difficulty getting your homework done lately. Let's problem-solve this together." You might still need to offer a consequence for misbehavior, but make it clear that you're invested in looking for a solution so they can do better next time. 

Use a problem-solving approach to help your child become more independent.

If they forgot to pack their soccer cleats for practice, ask, "What can we do to make sure this doesn't happen again?" Let them try to develop some solutions on their own.

Kids often develop creative solutions. So they might say, "I'll write a note and stick it on my door so I'll remember to pack them before I leave," or "I'll pack my bag the night before and I'll keep a checklist to remind me what needs to go in my bag." 

Provide plenty of praise when your child practices their problem-solving skills.  

Allow for Natural Consequences

Natural consequences  may also teach problem-solving skills. So when it's appropriate, allow your child to face the natural consequences of their action. Just make sure it's safe to do so. 

For example, let your teenager spend all of their money during the first 10 minutes you're at an amusement park if that's what they want. Then, let them go for the rest of the day without any spending money.

This can lead to a discussion about problem-solving to help them make a better choice next time. Consider these natural consequences as a teachable moment to help work together on problem-solving.

Becker-Weidman EG, Jacobs RH, Reinecke MA, Silva SG, March JS. Social problem-solving among adolescents treated for depression . Behav Res Ther . 2010;48(1):11-18. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2009.08.006

Pakarinen E, Kiuru N, Lerkkanen M-K, Poikkeus A-M, Ahonen T, Nurmi J-E. Instructional support predicts childrens task avoidance in kindergarten .  Early Child Res Q . 2011;26(3):376-386. doi:10.1016/j.ecresq.2010.11.003

Schell A, Albers L, von Kries R, Hillenbrand C, Hennemann T. Preventing behavioral disorders via supporting social and emotional competence at preschool age .  Dtsch Arztebl Int . 2015;112(39):647–654. doi:10.3238/arztebl.2015.0647

Cheng SC, She HC, Huang LY. The impact of problem-solving instruction on middle school students’ physical science learning: Interplays of knowledge, reasoning, and problem solving . EJMSTE . 2018;14(3):731-743.

Vlachou A, Stavroussi P. Promoting social inclusion: A structured intervention for enhancing interpersonal problem‐solving skills in children with mild intellectual disabilities . Support Learn . 2016;31(1):27-45. doi:10.1111/1467-9604.12112

Öğülmüş S, Kargı E. The interpersonal cognitive problem solving approach for preschoolers .  Turkish J Educ . 2015;4(17347):19-28. doi:10.19128/turje.181093

American Academy of Pediatrics. What's the best way to discipline my child? .

Kashani-Vahid L, Afrooz G, Shokoohi-Yekta M, Kharrazi K, Ghobari B. Can a creative interpersonal problem solving program improve creative thinking in gifted elementary students? .  Think Skills Creat . 2017;24:175-185. doi:10.1016/j.tsc.2017.02.011

Shokoohi-Yekta M, Malayeri SA. Effects of advanced parenting training on children's behavioral problems and family problem solving .  Procedia Soc Behav Sci . 2015;205:676-680. doi:10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.09.106

By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, an international bestselling author of books on mental strength and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. She delivered one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.

Master's in Data Science

The Data Science master's program, jointly led by the  Computer Science  and  Statistics  faculties, trains students in the rapidly growing field of data science. 

Data Science lies at the intersection of statistical methodology, computational science, and a wide range of application domains.  The program offers strong preparation in statistical modeling, machine learning, optimization, management and analysis of massive data sets, and data acquisition.  The program focuses on topics such as reproducible data analysis, collaborative problem solving, visualization and communication, and security and ethical issues that arise in data science.

To earn the Master of Science in Data Science, students must complete 12 courses. This requires students to be on campus for at least 3 semesters (one and a half academic years). Some students will choose to extend their studies for a fourth semester to take additional courses or complete a master’s thesis research project.

SEAS will be hosting virtual information sessions this Fall for students interested in the Data Science program. Registration for these sessions is available on the  Admissions Events page for prospective graduate students .

What should a graduate of the Data Science program be able to do?

The design of the program is based on eleven learning outcomes developed through discussions between the computer science and statistics faculty:

Build statistical models and understand their power and limitations

Design an experiment

Use machine learning and optimization to make decisions

Acquire, clean, and manage data

Visualize data for exploration, analysis, and communication

Collaborate within teams

Deliver reproducible data analysis

Manage and analyze massive data sets

Assemble computational pipelines to support data science from widely available tools

Conduct data science activities aware of and according to policy, privacy, security and ethical considerations

Apply problem-solving strategies to open-ended questions

Financing Your Degree

Students typically finance their master’s degree program with a combination of loans, savings, family support, grants (from governments, foundations and companies), fellowships and scholarships. We recommend you visit the Harvard Kenneth C. Griffin Graduate School of Arts and Sciences (Harvard Griffin GSAS)  Funding and Financial Aid  website prior to your application to learn more about your options.

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Approximately 15% of our students are paid Teaching Fellows, usually in the second year. TFing in the first semester is highly unusual. Teaching compensation is paid out at Harvard graduate student rates.

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Americans’ Dismal Views of the Nation’s Politics

1. the biggest problems and greatest strengths of the u.s. political system, table of contents.

• The impact of partisan polarization
• Persistent concerns over money in politics
• Views of the parties and possible changes to the two-party system
• Other important findings
• Explore chapters of this report
• In their own words: Americans on the political system’s biggest problems
• In their own words: Americans on the political system’s biggest strengths
• Are there clear solutions to the nation’s problems?
• Evaluations of the political system
• Trust in the federal government
• Feelings toward the federal government
• The relationship between the federal and state governments
• Americans’ ratings of their House member, governor and local officials
• Party favorability ratings
• Most characterize their party positively
• Quality of the parties’ ideas
• Influence in congressional decision-making
• Views on limiting the role of money in politics
• Views on what kinds of activities can change the country for the better
• How much can voting affect the future direction of the country?
• Views of members of Congress
• In their own words: Americans’ views of the major problems with today’s elected officials
• How much do elected officials care about people like me?
• What motivates people to run for office?
• Quality of recent political candidates
• In elections, is there usually at least one candidate who shares your views?
• What the public sees as most important in political candidates
• Impressions of the people who will be running for president in 2024
• Views about presidential campaigns
• How much of an impact does who is president have on your life?
• Whose priorities should the president focus on?
• How different are the Republican and Democratic parties?
• Views of how well the parties represent people’s interests
• What if there were more political parties?
• Would more parties make solving problems easier or harder?
• How likely is it that an independent candidate will become president?
• Americans who feel unrepresented by the parties have highly negative views of the political system
• Views of the Electoral College
• Should the size of the U.S. House of Representatives change?
• Senate seats and population size
• Younger adults more supportive of structural changes
• Politics in a single word or phrase: An outpouring of negative sentiments
• Negative emotions prevail when Americans think about politics
• Americans say the tone of political debate in the country has worsened
• Which political topics get too much – and too little – attention?
• Majority of Americans find it stressful to talk politics with people they disagree with
• Acknowledgments

The public sees a number of specific problems with American politics. Partisan fighting, the high cost of political campaigns, and the outsize influence of special interests and lobbyists are each seen as characteristic of the U.S. political system by at least 84% of Americans.

Yet 63% also say that “ordinary Americans care about making the political system work well” is a good description of U.S. politics today. Still, when asked to describe a strength of the political system in their own words, more than half either say “nothing” (22%) or decline to give an answer (34%).

Americans view negative statements as better descriptions of the political system than positive ones

More than eight-in-ten adults say that each of the following is at least a somewhat good description of the U.S. political system today:

• Republicans and Democrats are more focused on fighting each other than on solving problems (86%);
• The cost of political campaigns makes it hard for good people to run for office (85%);
• Special interest groups and lobbyists have too much say in what happens in politics (84%).

About six-in-ten (63%) think ordinary Americans want to make the political system work well. This is the rare positive sentiment that a majority views as a good descriptor of the political system.

Fewer than half of adults hold the view that the government deserves more credit than it gets: Majorities say that “the federal government does more for ordinary Americans than people give it credit for” (59%) and “Congress accomplishes more than people give it credit for” (65%) are both bad descriptions of the political system.

Nearly seven-in-ten adults express frustration with the availability of unbiased information about politics: 68% say the statement “it is easy to find unbiased information about what is happening in politics” is not a good description of the political system.

And just 22% of Americans say that political leaders facing consequences for acting unethically is a good description of the political system. They are more than three times as likely to say that this is a bad description (76% say this).

Many critiques of the political system are bipartisan

Partisans have similar views of many of the descriptions of the political system included in the survey.

Overwhelming majorities in both parties think there is too much partisan fighting, campaigns cost too much, and lobbyists and special interests have too much say in politics. And just 24% of Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents and 20% of Republicans and Republican leaners say that political leaders face consequences if they act unethically.

The widest partisan gap is over a description of the federal government. Democrats are roughly twice as likely as Republicans to say “the federal government does more for ordinary Americans than people give it credit for” (54% vs. 26%).

There is a narrower gap in views of Congress’ accomplishments: 37% of Democrats and 28% of Republicans say it accomplishes more than people give it credit for.

Democrats are also more likely to say, “It is easy to find unbiased information about what is happening in politics” (36% of Democrats and 25% of Republicans say this is a good description of the political system today), while Republicans are slightly more likely than Democrats to view ordinary Americans as wanting to make the political system work well (67% of Republicans and 61% of Democrats say this is a good description).

When asked to describe in their own words the biggest problem with the political system in the U.S. today, Americans point to a wide range of factors.

Negative characteristics attributed to politicians and political leaders are a common complaint: 31% of U.S. adults say politicians are the biggest problem with the system, including 15% who point to greed or corruption and 7% who cite dishonesty or a lack of trustworthiness.

The biggest problem, according to one woman in her 50s, is that politicians are “hiding the truth and fulfilling their own agendas.” Similarly, a man in his 30s says, “They don’t work for the people. They are too corrupt and busy filling their pockets.”

Explore more voices: The political system’s biggest problems

What do you see as the biggest problem with the political system in the U.S. today?

“An almost total lack of credibility and trust. Coupled with a media that’s so biased, that they’ve lost all objectivity.” –Man, 70s

“Lying about intentions or not following through with what elected officials said they would do.” –Woman, 20s

“Blind faith in political figures.” –Woman, 50s

“Our elected officials would rather play political games than serve the needs of their constituents.” –Woman, 50s

“Same politicians in office too long.” –Woman, 30s

“Extremism on both sides exploited by the mainstream media for ratings. It is making it impossible for both parties to work together.” –Man, 30s

“It has become too polarized. No one is willing to compromise or be moderate.” –Woman, 40s

“Too much money in politics coming from large corporations and special interest.” –Man, 30s

“The people have no say in important matters, we have NO representation at all. Our lawmakers are isolated and could care less what we want.” –Man, 60s

About two-in-ten adults cite deep divisions between the parties as the biggest problem with the U.S. political system, with respondents describing a lack of cooperation between the parties or among elected leaders in Washington.

“Both of the political parties are so busy trying to stop the other party, they are wasting their opportunities to solve the problems faced by our nation,” in the view of one man in his 70s.

Even as some blame polarization, others (10% of respondents) identify the other party as the system’s biggest problem. Some Republicans say that the biggest problem is “Democrats” while some Democrats simply say “Republicans.”

Smaller but substantial shares of adults name the media and political discourse (9%), the influence of money in politics (7%), government’s perceived failures (6%), specific policy areas and issues (6%) or problems with elections and voting (4%) as the biggest problem with the political system today.

Far fewer adults name a specific strength of the political system today when asked to describe the system’s biggest strength in their own words. More than half either say that the system lacks a biggest strength (22%) or decline to answer (34%). As one woman in her 60s writes, “I’m not seeing any strengths!”

Among those who do identify strengths of the U.S. political system, the structure of political institutions and the principles that define the constitutional order are named most frequently (by 12% of respondents). Many respondents specifically point to the Constitution itself or refer to the separation of powers or the checks and balances created by the Constitution.

A man in his 20s believes that the “separation of powers and federalism work pretty well,” while one in his 30s writes that the system’s greatest strength is “the checks and balances to make sure that monumental changes aren’t made unilaterally.”

Explore more voices: The political system’s biggest strengths

What do you see as the biggest strength of the U.S. political system today?

“Everyone getting a say; democracy.” –Woman, 40s

“The right to have your opinions heard.” –Man, 60s

“In spite of our differences, we are still a democracy, and I believe there are people within our government who still care and are interested in the betterment of our country.” –Woman, 50s

“The freedom of speech and religion” –Woman, 50s

“If we have fair, honest elections we can vote out the corruption and/or incompetent politicians.” –Man, 70s

“The Constitution.” –Man, 50s

“The checks and balances to control the power of any office. The voice of the people and the options to remove an official from office.” –Man, 60s

“New, younger voices in government.” –Woman, 40s

“If we can’t get more bipartisanship we’ll become weaker. Our biggest strength is our working together.” –Woman, 60s

“The way that every two years the people get to make their voice heard.” –Man, 30s

About one-in-ten (9%) refer to individual freedoms and related democratic values, while a similar share (8%) discuss the right to vote and the existence of free elections. A woman in her 70s echoes many similar comments when she points to “the possibility of change in upcoming elections.”

However, even some of the descriptions of positive characteristics of the system are couched in respondents’ doubts about the way the system is working today. One woman in her 50s adds a qualification to what she views as the system’s biggest strength, saying, “Theoretically every voter has a say.”

Smaller shares of the public point to the positive characteristics of some politicians (4%) or the positive characteristics of the American people (4%) as reasons for optimism.

The public remains roughly evenly split over whether there are clear solutions to the biggest issues facing the country. Half of Americans today say there are clear solutions to most of the big issues facing the country, while about as many (48%) say most big issues don’t have clear solutions.

There are relatively modest demographic and political differences in perceptions of whether the solutions to the nations’ problems are clear or not.

While both men and women are relatively divided on this question, women are 6 percentage points more likely to think the big issues facing the country don’t have clear solutions.

Race and ethnicity

While 43% of Hispanic adults and about half of Black (50%) and White (48%) adults say there aren’t clear solutions for most big issues, that rises to 62% among Asian adults.

Age differences on this question are modest, but those under 30 are slightly more likely than those 30 and older to say most big issues have clear solutions.

Partisanship and political engagement

Both Republicans and Democrats are relatively split on this question, though Republicans are slightly more likely to say there are clear solutions to most big issues.

Those with higher levels of political engagement are more likely to say there are clear solutions to most big issues facing the country.

About six-in-ten adults with high levels of political engagement (61%) say there are clear solutions to big issues today, compared with half of those with medium levels of engagement and 41% of those with lower engagement.

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