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How to Write a Top MBA Personal Statement (With Examples)

Working on your MBA application? You aren’t alone. In 2021, over 200,000 students graduated with an MBA degree making it the number one choice for graduate students for the 10th year in a row. And there’s good reason for this. According to the National Center for Education Statistics , post-MBA, grads can earn significantly more at work—experts estimate an additional $20,000 each year depending on the industry. 

During the application process, you’ll want to stand out. A well-crafted personal statement will help distinguish you from other applicants. It serves as a powerful tool to showcase your unique experiences, skills, and aspirations to admissions committees. To make a lasting impression, tailor your personal statement to each MBA program you’re applying to, highlighting how your background aligns with their values and goals. For additional support, keep reading for some MBA personal statement examples and guidance. 

Understanding the Foundations – Word Count, Templates, and Pricing

When you start your personal statement, keep the word count in mind. Make sure to write your statement succinctly. Templates can give crucial structure to a first draft and make sure you hit necessary points. Finally: is it worth it to hire a professional proofreader? We break down the pros and cons. 

Word Count Considerations

A well-written personal statement is often the deciding factor in the business school admissions process. Conveying your thoughts concisely is a crucial skill in the business world, and future peers will be grateful for your brevity.

One strategy is to start with a longer draft and edit it down when revising. Remove unnecessary details and tighten wordy language. Focus on improving the quality of your content over meeting the maximum word count. 

Templates as a Starting Point

Templates can help to organize your thoughts. Use them to provide structure and give your writing direction. By planning ahead, you can decide how much space you want to dedicate to each element—this can also help you meet the word count.

Remember: popular templates are popular for a reason, and following them too strictly can make your statement feel rigid and unoriginal. To avoid that pitfall, personalization is key. Your individual experiences, goals, and perspectives are all unique. What would a Master’s in Business Administration mean to you? Don’t be afraid to customize any template to fit your voice. 

Professional Proofreading

Graduate schools know what a well-written personal statement looks like—and so do professional proofreaders. Experts can help catch small grammatical errors and improve clarity in your writing. It can be challenging to review personal writing from an objective standpoint. A good proofreader will streamline your writing and ensure overall coherence, improving your odds with your preferred school of business. 

Unfortunately, this can be expensive. Pricing for these services can easily cost hundreds of dollars. If hiring one isn’t in the budget, here are some alternatives: 

• Find writing groups online or in person. Not only will you receive feedback, you’ll get a better idea of what other personal statements look like. Be prepared to help edit other statements.
• Reach out to peers and mentors. Turn to people who know your voice and can tell when your writing is authentic. Make sure they aren’t afraid to give negative feedback.
• Utilize free online resources. Writing tools like Grammarly or Hemingway help check grammar and sentence structure. They won’t help with essay format and aren’t infallible; double-check any changes they might suggest.
• Read your statement out loud. This can help make sure your statement has a good rhythm and flows naturally.
• Take breaks. Be your own set of fresh eyes. When you’re in the thick of writing, you might glaze over easy-to-spot details while you’re thinking of the big picture. Allow yourself to recharge and clear your head before you get back to it. 

Tailoring Your Personal Statement to Top MBA Programs

Make sure to personalize your essays to specific MBA programs . Include details about specific classes and faculty, unique opportunities, and the strengths that make this program stand out. 

Then, tie yourself into the narrative. What role would you fill as a graduate student or an alumnus? Consider your own strengths and where they align with this specific program. What career goals could this opportunity help you achieve? 

Remember to mention your soft skills and other details that may not show up elsewhere on your application. Finally, shine a spotlight on your unique contributions in past roles. 

Write a Captivating Introduction

A beautiful personal statement will be overlooked unless the introduction captivates the audience. You can begin with compelling anecdotes, personal stories, or influential quotes. Tie this introduction into your reason for pursuing an MBA. Make the reader care before launching into your achievements. Then, clearly state why you’re pursuing an MBA. Example: “From the dynamic intersections of global markets to the intricate strategies driving corporate success, the realm of business has always beckoned to me as a realm of boundless opportunity and perpetual evolution..” 

Discuss Academic and Professional Background

Now it’s time to discuss what you’re bringing to the table. It’s okay to brag! Think about any key achievements or acquired skills that are transferable to an MBA program. What motivated you to apply? Example : “As a project manager at XYZ Corp, I navigated intricate challenges, demonstrating resilience and strategic thinking – skills I am eager to refine in a top-tier MBA program.” 

Answer the Questions: Why an MBA? Why Now? 

What does an MBA mean for your career goals ? Break down your short and long-term goals to answer this essay question. How do the skills you gain from earning an MBA connect to your plan? Research the program you’re applying for and use examples from the curriculum. Example : “My immediate goal is to transition from project management to strategic consulting, and Crummer’s MBA program’s focus on experiential learning and global business strategy perfectly complements my aspirations.” 

Emphasize Soft Skills

Think about moments you demonstrated personal growth or teamwork. Are there any moments you stepped up to lead a project or team? Your past experiences will influence your habits in a graduate school setting. Example :  “Leading a cross-functional team on a high-stakes project not only honed my leadership skills but also taught me the importance of collaborative problem-solving, a cornerstone of Crummer’s MBA program. “

Spotlight Unique Contributions

What sets you apart from other applicants? Moreover, what impact will your unique perspective bring to the MBA cohort? Explain how your background will enrich the learning environment. Detail personal qualities and experiences that showcase your value. 

Key Elements for a Powerful Personal Statement

Take a holistic approach to strike the right chord in your personal statement. Give admissions committees a more concrete impression of you. Weave in your qualifications, experiences, and aspirations. Don’t just mention your professional achievements—detail all of your positive qualities. 

Showcase Work Experience 

Be strategic when discussing your real-world work experience. If you can, including measurable results is a great way to show your professional impact. Earnings numbers, statistics, and other metrics will show off your professional experiences. 

Articulate Career Goals and Aspirations

When discussing career goals for an MBA application, detail your short and long-term objectives clearly. Ambiguity can weaken your statement’s impact. Whether you’re joining a family business, starting your own business, or looking to go abroad for international business you should discuss how you see yourself navigating the business world. Connect these career aspirations to the MBA program. 

Incorporate Extracurricular and Real-World Experiences

Touch on any extracurricular experiences like internships or entrepreneurship. Explain how these real-world experiences impacted your analytical skills, business acumen, and decision-making. If you’re an entrepreneur, touch on your journey or discuss the vision for your next startup. 

You can also talk about moments where you demonstrated leadership and communication skills. Teamwork is critical to business leaders. Reflect on your leadership experience—the successes you’ve won and the lessons you learned. 

Maintain Authenticity

Write authentically. Admissions officers want genuine stories. Give readers a reason to empathize with you. Overly formal and generic language can depersonalize your statement and keep readers at arm’s length. 

Also, use conversational language. If something sounds clunky or unnatural, it probably also reads that way. Plus, the way you speak naturally showcases your personality. While you should always use proper grammar, don’t suck the life out of your statement in the name of sounding more “academic.” Use this opportunity to demonstrate your communication skills. 

Navigating Common Challenges

Crafting your personal statements can be challenging! Let’s answer some FAQs. 

How Do I Balance the Personal and Professional Aspects?

Be intentional about what you choose to mention from your personal life. Use elements that either contrast or emphasize your professional experience. How does your background influence your business philosophy? Make sure to keep a professional tone and align your statement with the admissions committee’s expectations and be prepared for any questions the interviewer could ask.

How Do I Handle Sensitive Topics?

If you’re writing about a sensitive topic, do so thoughtfully. You don’t know what type of people will be reading your statement, so be considerate and intentional about any details you choose to share. 

However, your application essay should be a reflection of you. Sensitive subjects often play a major role in personal growth and development. Discuss what you learned from this challenging experience and how it influenced you. 

How Do I Make My Writing Stand Out? 

We’ve touched on all of the story elements you need—now trim the fat. Avoid common clichés and generic statements. Common phrases will dilute the unique perspectives in your personal statement. Make sure the language aligns with you. Avoid language that could apply to everyone when possible. 

Other MBA Application Process Essentials – GMAT Score, GPA, and Statement of Purpose

The MBA application process is multifaceted and holistic. Alongside your statement, admissions committees also consider your GMAT scores and GPA. GMAT scores are used to gauge applicants’ aptitude for business studies, while GPA showcases your readiness for MBA rigor. If you have a lower score in either category, address these challenges by highlighting your other strengths, relevant experience, and resiliency. Remember: committees consider the entire application, not just scores. 

The other factor in the application process is your Statement of Purpose or SOP. This will complement your personal statement. Make sure your SOP articulates your academic and career goals without echoing your other application essay. Avoid redundancy. Focus on the future: link the MBA program to your long-term plan. Take a forward-looking perspective and demonstrate how the MBA will work as a natural progression in your life. 

Your personal statement should be as unique as you are. Start with a compelling narrative and a plan. Proofread your essay, and don’t be afraid to seek help from peers or professionals. Explain how your personal and professional life gives you the necessary skills to thrive at your desired program and be specific about what you want to do there. This is your chance to differentiate yourself from other applicants—take advantage!

Crummer is the #1 ranked MBA program in Florida. You can learn more about what we offer and when you’re ready, start working on your application . 

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Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples

Introduction.

Applying to an MBA program is a lengthy process that involves multiple steps and numerous requirements. Some parts of the process are relatively simple, such as academic transcripts or test score submissions. 

Other parts are more complex and require more from you, such as the MBA essay(s) that you’ll likely have to submit. Of course, every bit of information you include in your application is vitally important because your application will be considered in its entirety before any decisions regarding your candidacy are made. 

However, certain portions of your application may hold more weight than others. There is no doubt that grades are important, and having a high GPA or an exceptional GMAT score certainly helps improve your chances of acceptance. 

Yet, numbers don’t leave much room for standing out, which is necessary when considering the sheer amount of applications MBA admissions committees have to sort through. However, writing an outstanding MBA personal statement is your chance to do precisely that. 

An exceptionally well-written personal statement could be the gateway to your success and could land your name on a shortlist for an interview invitation to the business school of your choice, getting you that much closer to an acceptance to a future MBA program. 

On the other hand, “ An essay that reveals any weakness in your candidacy could quickly put you in the reject pile,” so the stakes are high when you get to this point in your application. To learn more about where you should start, how you can ensure that your MBA personal statement makes you stand out, and what kinds of things you should avoid writing about - read on.

What is an MBA Personal Statement?

An MBA personal statement introduces you to the school’s admissions committee that you’re applying to. It is also an opportunity for you to show them what you could potentially contribute to the community that exists at their school.

For most schools, your chance to write a personal statement comes with your responses to the MBA essay questions. Each school has its own requirements when it comes to the MBA essay. There is only one essay prompt for some schools, and for others, there are multiple questions that you must answer. 

Similarly, some schools have word requirements that limit either the minimum or maximum word count that you can use for your answers, whereas others provide the question and let you decide how much to contribute.

Although each school has topics they typically like to cover, many schools change their questions from year-to-year, but some general themes tend to reoccur quite often in these kinds of prompts. One theme that often comes up has to do with your interest in the school or how you envision yourself fitting into the school’s program. 

For example, the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania requests their applicants to answer “What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA?” They also ask “how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community?” 

Other schools are more interested in the theme of self-reflection. The University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business , for example, wants to learn “more about you outside of the office,” and they request that you take their essay as an “opportunity to tell us [them] something about who you are.” 

For many schools, the theme of goals and ambitions is a popular topic. At NYU Stern , they ask applicants, “What are your short and long-term career goals?” and  “how will the MBA help you achieve them?”Another major theme shared by many schools is that of leadership. 

Berkeley Haas requires that applicants consider how “the definition of successful leadership has evolved over the last decade and will continue to change,” and they’re interested in knowing “What do you need to develop to become a successful leader?” Although some schools branch away from these general subjects, these themes tend to be the most common, so the chances are good that you may have to write about one or more of these topics in your MBA personal statement.

Top Tips on Writing an Outstanding MBA Personal Statement

Focus on the question.

You’re going to want to keep in mind several things while you’re writing your MBA personal statement. One of the things is that you maintain a steady focus on the actual question(s) asked throughout your essay. Of course, the questions are often very open-ended and allow you to answer them in a variety of ways. 

Once you’ve chosen a path, try your best to stick with it and continuously remind yourself of the task at hand, so you can question whether you’re straying too far from what you’re trying to write about. Staying on topic and focusing on the question at hand will also help prevent you from wasting space and time on irrelevant information. 

Although the admissions committee probably doesn’t have a distinct black and white answer to the question that they’re asking, they are still looking for an answer, so make sure that you’re not just providing them with an autobiography. 

Writing about your strengths and experiences is still necessary, so make sure you cover any  relevant strengths and experiences in accordance with the theme and question. Although admissions committees are generally interested in applicants who write unique content, it is important to avoid getting too far off track with your MBA personal statement. There is still a question at hand to answer, with directions that must be followed, so don’t write about whatever you please.

Show Your Passion

A good, compelling MBA personal statement is chalked full of passion. If you let your passion shine through in every line, you’re bound to grab the attention of the admissions committee that reads your application. No business school is interested in an applicant that lacks passion and enthusiasm. 

The main goal of each school is to fill their cohort with future leaders, who are passionate and driven to succeed. Let them know what kind of  business goals you have in mind and give them an idea of your ultimate ambitions. Whether you want to create a startup, start a nonprofit, or even move up within the ranks of the company that you’re already working for, let the admissions committee in on how you view your future in the business world.

With that said, make sure it's overtly clear why that envisioned future has ignited a passion inside of you that has pushed you to apply for an MBA program. Ensure that you go back to the source of your ambitions and give them an idea of where your passion originally stemmed from. Doing this will help them understand your aspirations better, and it will also give them a better overall understanding of who you are at your core.

Get to Know the School

It should also be evident in your MBA personal statement that you’ve invested time into getting to know the school that you’re applying to. Schools differ from each other in varying ways, and each of their MBA programs have distinct features that set them apart from one another. 

If you can demonstrate an understanding of the school’s missions, values, and goals in your personal statement, it will let the admissions committee know that you’ve done your research. Knowing these things will also help you tailor your MBA personal statement to meet some of the school’s criteria. 

Once you know the goals of a school, you can detail various ways that you’re capable of contributing to them. Once you know their values, you can show them various traits, which you possess, that align with those values. Once you know what their mission is, you can highlight ways in which your mission is similar. 

Of course, it isn’t necessary to reflect every single virtue that the school values in your MBA personal statement, but if you’re able to make enough of these connections between yourself and the school, they’ll see that you’re a good fit for a future cohort, increasing your chances of acceptance into one of their programs. 

Let the admissions committee know why you feel their MBA program is the best fit for you. If you can think of some specific things that their program provides, such as experiential learning or internships, mention why these opportunities excite you. Additionally, if a particular member of their faculty or a specific course interests you, explain where your appeal is coming from. 

There are many ways for you to gain more information about a school that will be useful during this portion of your personal statement. You can check out the school’s website, reach out to department heads, look into previous or current students’ profiles, look at the school’s online forums and social media groups, and even attend their events scheduled for prospective students.

Highlight Your Leadership Qualities

Upon closer inspection of some business school websites, it will be apparent that most of them value leadership above all else. Essentially, all business schools are looking to fill their cohorts with students who will become global leaders in the future. 

If you can show a school’s admissions committee that you have leadership qualities and that you have the potential to be a great leader, it will undoubtedly pique their interest in you. The best way to do this is by providing an insight into your motivations, strengths, and capabilities by emphasizing experiences that you’ve had, which present you as a proactive person who takes charge of the situations. 

You don’t need to describe some grand situation where you made a global impact. However, if you’ve taken the initiative to lead a local fundraiser, or you’ve started a club and led them to a set goal, these are the kinds of experiences that are worth mentioning because they will portray you as a leader.

Back-Up Your Claims

It is of vital importance that you don’t merely tell admissions why you’re a good fit for their school, or that you’re a strong leader, or that you have what it takes to make it in the world of business. Instead, you must show them all of these things by backing up your claims with examples. 

Your claims will feel empty and baseless if you don’t have real-life examples to back them up. Rather than telling a school how resourceful or imaginative you are, tell them an anecdotal story that helps them independently draw this conclusion . 

You can describe a situation when you made use of connections you have within your community to get something done that would benefit everyone or a time when you had to come up with a creative solution to a setback that you were facing. 

Unlike general statements, stories are memorable and will be hard for admissions committees to forget about you if you tell them a story that shines a light on your best side. Keep your stories brief and to the point, but include the necessary details to illustrate the points you’re trying to make.

Mistakes to Avoid While Writing an MBA Personal Statement

Don’t be too eager to please.

Many people make a common mistake when writing their MBA personal statement by focusing too much on writing exactly what they believe the committee wants to hear. In other words, trying too hard to please the admissions committee can sometimes have the opposite effect. 

When taking on an MBA essay, if you write what you think the admissions committee is expecting, you’ll waste a perfect opportunity to show them your actual value to their program, and you’ll likely blend in with the rest of the applicants. 

Each admissions committee has boxes that they are looking to tick, and the overall goal is for you to tick as many or all of those boxes as possible in a natural manner. If your aim is fitting the bill, it will be obvious and will detract from your chance to come across as unique. 

It will also make for a dull and underwhelming MBA personal statement. Beyond fulfilling specific requirements, you should demonstrate that you have character. Don’t be afraid to break the mold, at times, if it will allow you to open up more and share something genuine about who you are. 

Diversity is essential at any business school because diverse perspectives are what make a cohort attractive and interesting. So, think of how you can contribute to this diversity and embrace your authentic self when you craft your MBA personal statement.

Avoid Summarizing Your Résumé

By the time that an admissions committee gets to your MBA personal statement, the chances are good that they’ve already read through your résumé . Thus, there is no need for you to restate information directly from your résumé during your MBA personal statement. 

The admissions committee has that information already, and you can trust that they will not forget it if it is worth remembering.  By the time they get to your personal statement, they are craving something original and fresh. 

The purpose of a résumé is to list your relevant experience, but the purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show why that experience matters and why it sets you apart from all the other applicants. 

If you want your essay to be captivating, you must draw the admissions committee in with your storytelling skills. Use vivid descriptions to bring the stories that you’re telling to life and take the admissions committee on a journey that demands their attention.

No Need to Apologize

A general rule to keep in mind when writing your MBA personal statements is to avoid making any apologies. If there is a portion of your application that you aren’t feeling overly confident about, don’t draw attention to it. 

It might feel like you must explain yourself, whether this means justifying a lower than average GPA or test score or why there is a gap in your employment. 

However, your MBA personal statement is a limited opportunity for you to convince an admissions committee of your candidacy for their program, so spending time on things that don’t accentuate your best side is a waste of valuable time and words. Rather than apologizing for your potential downfalls, draw the admissions committee’s attention away from those parts of your application. 

Give them a good reason to naturally forget those things by wowing them with an MBA personal statement that highlights all of the reasons you are the ideal choice for their next cohort. The only time it is acceptable to explain your shortcomings is if the essay question specifically asks about them.

Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples 

Goals essay example.

Essay 1: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

Sample Introduction:

Prior to COVID, I dreamed of a future as an entrepreneur building on my mother’s example of using business to make a difference in local communities. 2020, however, afforded me the opportunity to simultaneously begin pursuing the impact I hoped to make, even without my own venture, by participating in [Name] and [Name] recruiting efforts, while pausing to reflect on those aspirations.

Though I would still like to build on my mother’s legacy of community-minded entrepreneurship, I believe I will be able to make the most direct impact by founding my own venture capital fund that incubates companies from seed to late stage. My three years at [Company] have helped me develop analytical and operational skills necessary to be a thoughtful founder, but a Wharton MBA will help me refine my leadership style, as well as help me adopt the mindset of a community-minded investor.

Sample Body Paragraph:

With a flexible core foundation, I will use my time at Wharton to focus on classes that will uniquely help me achieve my goal. As a double major in Business Economics and Public Policy and Entrepreneurship & Innovation, I will not only understand the best way to use business to improve a community with classes like “Urban Public Policy and Private Economic Development,” but I can also study different methods to bring solutions to life with classes like “Venture Capital and Entrepreneurial Management” and “Finance of Buyouts and Acquisitions.” Best of all, I can begin applying and practicing what I have learned in the classroom by working with the [Company] or spending a semester in [Place] with the robust [Community] in the [Area].

Sample Conclusion:

After graduating, I intend to be an active alumni, joining the Alumni Angel group, as well as serving as a mentor for Wharton students. Bolstered by my experiences inside and outside the classroom, I will be ready to make my mark on the Venture Capital world, bringing more equitable access to financial resources for entrepreneurs of color. When I do, I know that I will have the support of my Wharton community behind me.

Why it Works:

This is a fantastic sample of a MBA personal statement for many reasons. Firstly, the applicant doesn’t waste any time and gets right into an explanation of their personal goals and aspirations at the beginning of their essay, which then ties into a brief explanation of the source of their inspiration. 

They also highlight their opportunistic nature by showing how they took advantage of the situation when COVID began. They consistently reference specific parts of the Wharton MBA program they’re interested in, such as some specific classes they intend to take. They also mention how they plan to use their experience at Wharton to make their dream a reality.

Contributions Essay Example

Essay 2: Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

While I may have a few years before launching my own fund to transform local communities, during my time at Wharton, I intend to be an active participant in Wharton’s Anti-Racism goals, fighting to bring equity and inclusion with the same passion I have brought to my office and B/LX network. I want to help usher in a new era at Wharton focused on today’s business concerns where diversity and inclusion are top of mind.

I plan to be an active member of whatever initiatives are formed with student involvement seeking to effect that change, such as the Wharton Graduate Association (WGA). As a member of the [Organization], I can work with my peers to network in our hometowns to increase [Ethnicity] participation in MBA programs, which has been historically under-represented, as well as welcome prospective students as a host during [Initiative], to ensure that all who are interested feel welcome the moment they approach this school.

I have learned through my work at [Company] that one needs to bring in allies to improve diversity - cultivating a strong affinity group is a start, but not enough. As a member of the [Group], I will support Wharton founders, specifically ones with social ventures addressing poverty and inequality in the greater [City] community, thus growing student-funded entrepreneurship with a social benefit. As a fellow, I will also be able to further hone my own sense of leadership to understand the best way to motivate people to prioritize community benefit.

When not focused on ventures and leadership, I plan to school fellow students in the Tennis Club, share meals with the Wharton Food Club, and continue bragging about California’s Cabernet Sauvignons to the Wine Club. I envision my Wharton experience moving beyond the classroom to build an alumni cohort to last a lifetime, supporting each other to overcome the challenges we will inevitably face as we become next generation leaders.

This MBA personal statement is yet another strong sample. This applicant has clearly done their research and has discovered that they have a goal in common with the school they’re applying to. They focus on this shared goal and highlight how they intend to achieve progress towards it by working together with the school and its community. 

They make sure to back up their claims with examples of relevant work experience  that is in line with this vein of thought. Doing this demonstrates focus and shows that they are serious about their passions. 

Their conclusion further reinstates the fact that they are familiar with what the school has to offer, and it also flushes their personality out a little more. It also helps the admissions committee to envision the applicant fitting into the school’s community in various ways.

Self Reflection Essay Example

Essay 3: As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Disability has always been close to home; my family and community have a long and painful history of degenerative disease. I often think of my uncle, who steadfastly refused to let others help him eat meals following a string of kidney surgeries, and to my grandfather, suffering from neurodegenerative decline, who would rather exert excruciating effort to walk up a flight of stairs than ask me to get reading glasses from his bedroom.

It dawned on me that a reliance on others to move through daily life slowly chips away at one’s humanity; that lost independence is a common denominator of disability, and it impacts people almost as meaningfully as the underlying medical condition does. While various technologies and medical subspecialties exist to ease physical suffering, there is woefully little out there aimed to mitigate this deeper psychological problem. What’s more, the data and tools to solve this issue do exist, but millions continue to suffer.

I’m driven by finding answers to the most complex, most challenging problems faced by humanity; the ones that are too daunting, or those that go unrecognized. I felt a moral obligation to intervene. What followed would help me discover my life’s mission – building AI-driven tech to improve healthcare.

Sample Body Paragraphs

I rallied a friend, and together we built an AI-driven, low-cost speech-recognition platform that enabled voice-activated control over electronic systems in a household, thus empowering individuals suffering from ALS and multiple sclerosis. It was an exercise in creativity and persistence. It was quite daunting at the outset - I still have scars from initial circuit prototypes exploding in my hand. But, in the end, our solution worked, and cost a fraction of a now commercially available solution like Alexa.

As I think back to my core questions of independence, disability, and the juxtaposition of

medical and psychological suffering, I see increased life expectancy as a testament to modern advances in medicine. I now want to start the conversation around ensuring that people like my uncle or grandfather live not just longer, but happier, more dignified lives.

In the long run, by proving the benefits of AI-driven healthcare to the world, I want to build an enterprise that not only continues to develop sophisticated technologies, solve complex medical challenges, and change lives, but also improves the underlying fabric of healthcare policy. Like Uber and Airbnb, my dream is to eventually create an organization that fundamentally shifts the contemporary regulatory paradigm in healthcare to one that evolves and appropriately reflects both the medical and psychological needs of the modern patient.

The more I study disability, disease, impairment, and their implications on the human psyche, the more I appreciate the power of community - the feeling that there are people who fearlessly stand with you as you look to defy the odds. As I look to achieve my life’s mission and create a better healthcare system, I can’t think of a stronger, more supportive, and more inspiring community than Harvard.

The general management toolkit, network, and leadership skills that I develop will stay with me long past my time at HBS. I am confident in finding co-founders, collaborators, and investors who are as passionate as I am about solving entrenched challenges in healthcare. I plan to engage in cross-disciplinary inquiry through the [Initiative], and strive to develop a deft understanding of the interplay between the business, policy, and technological aspects of healthcare, something made uniquely possible through close collaboration with HMS and HKS.

I am more inspired than ever to realize my dream of restoring the lives of millions who suffer through no fault of their own, and the Harvard MBA will enable me to achieve exactly that.

This essay manages to take a very broad MBA essay question and turn it into a highly focused and genuine personal statement. The applicant doesn’t merely state their goals, but paints a delicate picture of their very personal inspirations that have become their driving force. 

This MBA personal statement includes numerous details, while refraining from including irrelevant ones. Each part of the narrative that they’ve told is necessary and is carefully woven together to provide an accurate background of where their motivation stems from and how it has led them to apply to this school. 

They also reference relevant achievements and experiences that they’ve had that indicate a strong sense of leadership within them, making them an attractive candidate for the school they’re applying to.

1. What is the purpose of an MBA personal statement?

The general purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show the admissions committee a little more about who you are and why they should consider your candidacy for their program. It is also a chance for you to show your goals and ambitions, while demonstrating how they pertain to the specific MBA program you’re applying to.

2. How long should an MBA personal statement be?

Some schools have specific minimum or maximum word counts for their essays, while others don’t. A school will typically list these kinds of requirements together with the essay questions.

3. What should I focus on with my MBA personal statement?

Your MBA personal statement should focus on answering the question(s) that the school has provided. These questions vary from school-to-school, but are usually found on the applications page of a school’s website, along with all of the other information relevant to your application. In conjunction with your answer to the prompt, you may focus on describing experiences, skills, and goals of yours that are relevant to the MBA program you’re applying to.

4. Should I write a different personal statement for each school that I apply to if I’m applying to multiple schools/programs?

Yes. Not only does each school have their own essay questions, but each school also has its own set of values, missions, and interests. Thus, your MBA personal statement isn’t easily transferable from one school’s application to another. 

If you want to maximize your chances of getting accepted into a school’s MBA program, you must carefully craft a unique MBA personal statement for each school that you apply to.

5. What should I research before writing my MBA personal statement?

Some research into a school is necessary before you can begin writing an MBA personal statement to submit to them. You may want to research a school’s mission statement, curriculum, faculty, extracurricular activities, or other pertinent information related to their MBA program. 

It will be necessary to reference these kinds of things throughout your MBA personal statement when you explain why this particular school is the best option for you and why you are the best fit for their next cohort.

6. Should I mention my GPA or GMAT/GRE scores in my MBA personal statement?

No. Your academic transcripts and test score submissions will be part of a different section of your application. The admissions committee does not need to see the same information in two places. 

Use the MBA personal statement as an opportunity to improve your candidacy for the school’s program in fresh, new ways by discussing things that would not be possible to include in your transcripts or on your résumé.

Your MBA personal statement is a vital part of your MBA application, and, as such, it requires that you approach your writing process with careful consideration. Your personal statement is a significant opportunity to make a good impression on the admissions committee by showing them who you are and why you deserve a coveted spot in their program. 

Plan out what you want to say, and take your time organizing exactly how you’d like to say it. Remember that every word counts, so make sure that you stay focused and don’t get off-topic. Once you’ve written an outstanding MBA personal statement that you feel packs a punch, proofread your essay, and, if possible, have others proofread it as well to ensure that there are no errors that will detract from the content.

You should also make sure that your writing conveys a sense of confidence, creativity, and passion. If you account for all of these things, and you let your true self shine through in your MBA personal statement, then there is no reason why an admissions committee wouldn’t be interested in having you join their next cohort of students.

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MBA Personal Statement Sample Essays & Tips

Your academic record, GMAT scores, and GPA are important factors in the MBA application process. But, more than that, business schools ultimately care about who you are and whether you would be a good fit for their program. This is where your application essays come in. The goal here is to complete the picture that your scores and stats began sketching. Take your time when writing these essays. They will form the image the admissions committee will see before they meet you at your interview. Write, edit, and edit again. Be sure there are no spelling or grammatical errors in your essay. You want your portrait to be clean and clear. Once you are satisfied with your essay, ask a trusted friend, mentor, or admissions pro to read it. A fresh pair of eyes can often see things that you can’t.

7 tips for creating the best MBA essays

Here are some important things to remember when writing your MBA essays.

• Show who you are in a background essay Use this opportunity to reveal your values and personality, the obstacles you’ve overcome, and the seminal experiences that have shaped you into the person you are today. No two people have the same history. Use stories and examples to make your background bright and stand out to demonstrate what makes you special. Discuss how your history has brought you to this point. What is there in your background that compels you to pursue an MBA at this time?
• Show your direction in the goals essay Use this opportunity to show that you have clear direction and purpose based on experience and planning. Business school is not another opportunity to “find yourself.” Even if you have had one career path and will use your MBA to launch another career, this essay must describe the reasons behind your career-change, your new goals, and how the program will help you achieve them.
• Use your optional essay to explain negatives in your stats If your GPA was lower than you would have liked early in your undergraduate education, use your essay to show how you learned from this experience. Everyone makes mistakes. How you deal with your mistakes shows a lot to the admissions committee – determination, discipline, success, resilience, and breadth of experience are qualities that will serve you well in your MBA studies and later in life. Be sure that you explain your negatives and don’t try to justify them. Show that you understand the mistake you made, learned from it and changed as a result of processing the experience. That response shows maturity. Justifying – instead of learning or changing – is a sign of immaturity. MBA programs want mature adults. Almost all of them have made mistakes.
• Say what you mean, and mean what you say Admissions committees read thousands of essays during each admissions round. A concise, well thought-out essay will have them reading yours to the end.  You need examples and stories to support your statements and make your essay interesting and readable. Each of these needs to be to the point. These professionals are trained to spot an essay that is full of fluff and without substance.Avoid rambling and the use of keywords that you think the reader wants to see. A non-substantive essay will lead the reader to conclude that you, too, are without substance.
• Find your passion This relates to tip #4 above. You want to grab the reader right away and create an essay that will keep their attention to the very end – and leave them wanting to meet you and get to know you even better. In other words, offer you a coveted interview! Find a theme, and weave it throughout your essay. If you can identify a passion that you had from an early age and follow it through the different stages of your life, you will have an interesting, readable essay. Connect your passion to your childhood and you professional and extracurricular experiences and accomplishments. Demonstrate how your passion will influence your future career and serve the community at the school you want to attend.
• Focus on your professional experience and achievements Not everyone has a passion that they have carried with them throughout their life. However, since you are planning on attending an MBA program, you must have had professional and personal achievements. Highlight your professional skills and successes, as well as personal accomplishments. Show how these experiences and achievements have brought you to this point, and how they have influenced your long-term plans and reasons for pursuing an MBA.
• Highlight your experience in your EMBA essay An applicant to an Executive MBA program is an executive or manager currently in the workforce, usually with at least eight years of business experience. As an EMBA student you will be expected to excel in your coursework while continuing to hold down your full-time job. You must demonstrate significant leadership, impact, potential, and the legitimate need for the degree to be accepted. Highlight your current responsibilities and recent achievements, as well as your skill sets. Discuss your goals and how an EMBA will help you reach them. Include how you will positively impact the community at the program you are applying to.

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Now that you have the tools to write your compelling essay, check out our sample MBA application essays to see what you will be able to accomplish.

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• Business Management Masters Personal Statement Sample

Written by Hannah Slack

This is an example personal statement for a Masters degree application in Business Management. See our guide for advice on writing your own postgraduate personal statement .

Businesses have been instrumental in building our modern way of living. The versatility and innovation of business quickly captured my attention when I started my first job, and my interest has only continued to grow. Having undertaken various work experience roles and achieved a 2.1 in my undergraduate degree, I intend to further my education through a Masters. My main interests lie in strategic management and marketing as I enjoy learning new methods for existing and succeeding in an increasingly globalised market.

I have always been a self-motivated worker who is not afraid of a challenge. I am particularly drawn to management and marketing roles as they are often fast paced environments, involving different tasks and decisions each day. They also allow for a healthy balance between both independent and group work, which I believe is vital to running a successful business with engaged staff. My undergraduate work placement in an international marketing company enabled me to first-hand experience the fast-paced and efficient work style of successfully competing companies. I was also able to understand more about how to plan and manage a large staff force to make sure the business can perform and compete at optimum levels. Furthermore, last year I had a part-time job in a small local business which enabled me to learn and develop valuable skills in growth and future planning which are vital during the early stages of a young business.

In addition to my qualifications and work experience, I am a keen basketball player and often represent my club at the local leagues. Both my successes and failures in sporting competitions demonstrate my constant desire to improve and my determination to continue even in times of failure. I have also had the opportunity of being a team captain and coaching younger league games. Both roles allowed me to develop my leadership and strategy planning skills.

I am applying to your university because it offered the best array of modules for me to both improve my knowledge in my current interests and explore new areas of Business Management I am less familiar with. I was also particularly impressed by the wide array of connections the department has that will guarantee each student an invaluable work experience opportunity. I believe that your university will be the best institution to take my education to the next level and enable me to compete effectively as a strong candidate after graduation.

I think that I will be an excellent fit for your department as I enjoy involving myself in extracurricular activities. I am therefore excited to apply for leadership roles in the some of the postgraduate clubs and organisations the department offers. And, if the opportunity presents itself, I would be interested in creating and running my own project with my fellow peers.

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MBA Personal Statement Examples: Secrets to Standing Out

The pressure to write a perfect MBA personal statement can be overwhelming. After all, your essay is a key factor in your admission to a top-tier business school. With so much at stake, it’s important to know what makes a good essay and how to stand out from the crowd. One effective way to get started is by reading some MBA personal statement examples. These examples can give you a sense of what works and what doesn’t, as well as inspire you to find your unique voice. In this blog post, we’ll share some of the best MBA personal statement examples we’ve come across, and break down what makes them successful.

Tell a story

In the first of our MBA personal statement examples, we want to highlight a personal statement from an applicant to Harvard Business School. The essay tells the story of how the applicant’s upbringing in a small town in the Deep South shaped their perspective and goals for pursuing an MBA.

“I was born and raised in a small town in the Deep South, a place where the concept of business was synonymous with local mom-and-pop stores. I grew up observing the struggles and triumphs of these local business owners and realized the profound impact they had on our community. Their resilience in the face of adversity deeply resonated with me and sparked my curiosity about the world of business.

I am not a product of privilege or wealth. My childhood was marked by financial hardship, but it was through these challenges that I learned the value of resourcefulness and the importance of community. These experiences have shaped my perspective and solidified my desire to pursue an MBA.

My goal in attending Harvard Business School is not only to acquire a globally recognized business education but to bring a unique perspective to the classroom, one shaped by humble beginnings and a deep understanding of the challenges faced by small businesses.”

What makes this essay stand out is the way the applicant weaves their personal story into a larger narrative about the need for greater diversity in the business world. The essay is well-written, vulnerable, and engaging, while also showcasing the applicant’s strengths and motivations.

Emphasize your career goals

Business schools want to see that you have clear, well-thought-out career goals that align with their program and have the potential to make an impact in the industry. Be specific about the industry, role, and impact you want to make after completing your MBA degree. For example, “After completing my MBA at ABC School of Business, my goal is to launch a start-up that provides sustainable solutions to the fast-evolving tech industry.”

Show your passion

“I’ve always been interested in healthcare, and when I graduated from college, I worked as a nurse for three years. I loved the work, but I could see that there was a tremendous amount of administrative waste in healthcare, which increased costs and reduced quality of care. I left my nursing position to work for a healthcare startup that developed technology to improve efficiency and reduce costs. My time there showed me the value of both business and healthcare, and that’s why I’m applying to MBA programs with a focus on healthcare administration.”

This personal statement does a great job of showing a changemaker who is passionate about their work and has a growth mindset. It also highlights how the writer’s experience in healthcare informs their interest in business administration. Try to incorporate your passions into your personal statement and how those passions connect to your plans.

Demonstrate your unique perspective

The next essay from our collection of MBA personal statement examples is from an applicant to Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management. The essay focuses on the applicant’s experience working in a family-owned business in India, and how that has informed their goals for pursuing an MBA.

“Growing up, I was deeply involved in my family’s textile business in India. The sights and sounds of the bustling enterprise; the delicate dance between artisans, managers, and my family members; and the negotiations, compromises, and shared victories all shaped my early understanding of business. This formative experience instilled within me a deep appreciation for the intricate tapestry of business operations and the entrepreneurial spirit. (…) I realize that to take my family’s business to even greater heights and compete in the global market, I need a deeper understanding of international business practices, strategies, and ethics. This realization draws me towards pursuing an MBA from the Kellogg School of Management.”

What makes this essay stand out is the way the applicant showcases their unique perspective on the business world, and how their experiences have given them a deep understanding of the challenges faced by entrepreneurs. The essay is also well-structured and concise, with a clear focus on the applicant’s goals.

Highlight your achievements

This MBA personal statement example is from an applicant to the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. The essay highlights the applicant’s impressive track record in finance, including experience working at a top investment bank.

“During my tenure at XYZ Investment Bank, I was fortunate enough to manage several high-profile deals. I led the team that secured a major contract with a well-known tech company, and my strategic insights resulted in a 20% higher-than-expected return on investment. This accomplishment, alongside my other achievements in the finance sector, has solidified my desire to further elevate my understanding of financial strategy and market dynamics. I am convinced that an MBA from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business will equip me with the indispensable knowledge and skills to achieve my career objectives in finance strategy and leadership.”

This essay successfully demonstrates the applicant’s professional accomplishments while highlighting their ambition for continued growth. The lucid link between their past achievements and future goals makes a compelling case for their candidature.

What makes this essay effective is the way the applicant uses their experience to demonstrate their skills and abilities. The essay is well-written, with a strong focus on the applicant’s achievements and growth.

Be specific

Admissions committees want to see that you have a clear understanding of what you want to achieve with an MBA. Instead of making generic statements about wanting to “gain new skills” or “further your career,” give specific examples of the types of roles or industries you hope to work in after graduation. This demonstrates that you’ve thought carefully about your goals and how an MBA will help you achieve them.

“I grew up in a small farming community outside of Seattle and was the first in my family to attend college. While in school, I landed a job with a non-profit that provided financial services to underprivileged communities. I quickly realized that the skills I learned in school – management, finance, and information systems – could be used to make a significant impact in the world and I decided to pursue an MBA. I want to use my education to help others achieve financial stability and provide opportunities to communities that have been historically marginalized.”

This personal statement is great because it highlights one’s unique background and how that experience led to the desire to pursue an MBA. Additionally, it showcases how the writer plans to use their education to make a meaningful social impact. When crafting your own statement, consider outlining your background and how that has influenced your values and goals.

Showcase your qualities and skills

The admissions committee is looking for candidates who will bring something unique and valuable to their program. Take time to reflect on your personal experiences, skills, and perspectives that set you apart from other applicants. Whether it’s your international experiences, leadership skills, or creative problem-solving abilities, find ways to showcase how these qualities would contribute to the program.

“Throughout my career as a marketing executive, I’ve learned the value of effective leadership in achieving organizational goals. My work has involved leading cross-functional teams, conducting market research, and developing strategic plans to enhance brand awareness and revenue. However, I’ve also realized that I have a lot more to learn to become an exceptional leader. An MBA program will expose me to new perspectives and challenge me to develop skills in entrepreneurship, innovation, and social responsibility. I’m confident that the business school’s diverse student body and renowned faculty will provide a valuable network and mentorship opportunities.”

This personal statement highlights the candidate’s strengths in leadership, collaboration, and problem-solving. The language used is professional and well-structured.

Use creativity to showcase your personality

This MBA personal statement example is from an applicant to the MIT Sloan School of Management. The essay showcases the applicant’s creativity and personality, including a clever use of a time-travel metaphor to illustrate their career goals.

“Just as time travel allows us to explore different eras and dimensions, I believe that business leaders must possess the ability to navigate through time, staying ahead of trends and anticipating future challenges. With this mindset, I aspire to be a trailblazer in the world of business, leveraging my creativity and strategic thinking to drive innovation and shape the future.”

What makes this essay successful is the way the applicant takes a risk and shows their unique perspective.

Demonstrate fit

One of the essential aspects of your personal statement is demonstrating why you’re a good fit for the school’s MBA program. Do your research beforehand and highlight what attracts you to the program’s curriculum, faculty, alumni network, or location. Moreover, show how your academic and professional background aligns with the program’s mission, values, and culture.

“My goal is to launch a start-up that leverages technology to promote sustainable practices in the energy sector. The school’s Entrepreneurship Lab and the unique opportunity to work with faculty members on research projects would provide invaluable experiences toward achieving this goal.

Moreover, the school’s diverse and inclusive culture appeals to me. As someone who has lived in several countries and speaks three languages, I value the exchange of ideas from different perspectives. “

Find your voice

While studying successful MBA personal statement examples can provide good general guidelines, it is crucial to tailor your essays to your individual profile for several reasons. It allows you to authentically showcase your personality, thereby differentiating you from other applicants. It also demonstrates your genuine interest in the program, as you’re taking the time to explain how your unique experiences and goals align with the school’s mission and culture.

The most crucial reason to avoid using templates or automated tools to generate your essay responses is the risk of producing a generic-sounding essay. Admissions committees are inundated with thousands of essays, and a generic, ‘one-size-fits-all’ essay will do little to make you stand out from the crowd. They are interested in understanding who you are as an individual – your unique experiences, aspirations, and perspective. A generic essay fails to provide this insight, reducing your chances of being memorable. More importantly, a personalized essay signals investment and effort, demonstrating your genuine interest in the program, a quality highly valued by admissions committees.

Focus on the quality of your writing

Finally, in addition to finding your unique voice, a well-written MBA personal statement is vital for numerous reasons. Firstly, it serves as a testament to your communication skills – an essential competency in the business world. It demonstrates your ability to articulate thoughts clearly, concisely, and effectively. Secondly, a well-crafted statement is a reflection of your professionalism and diligence. It shows that you value precision and quality in your work, suggesting the same approach would be applied to your studies and future professional roles.

In this context, “well-written” means more than just correct grammar and spelling. It encompasses a clear structure, logical flow of ideas, and compelling narrative. It should capture your unique story and journey, highlighting your aspirations, accomplishments, strengths, and how an MBA program aligns with your career goals.

As demonstrated in the series of MBA personal statement examples, the significance of a well-written MBA personal statement can’t be overstated. It’s not merely a formality but a critical tool in painting a comprehensive picture of who you are beyond your academic scores , test scores , and resume . It’s your opportunity to express your motivation for pursuing an MBA, your fit with the program and your potential contribution to the school community. Therefore, it is fundamental to show the admissions committee that you are more than just a candidate – you are a promising future business leader!

The Admit Lab offers MBA essay service packages that help you with the entire writing process, or an hourly service that can provide you with feedback on your existing drafts. Whether you are struggling with crafting an essay or in need of an objective opinion, don’t hesitate to reach out to get the best results and gain a competitive edge in the admission game. Got questions? Sign up for a consultation , or send your draft for an estimate. It’s FREE!

With a Master’s from McGill University and a Ph.D. from New York University, Dr. Philippe Barr is the founder of The Admit Lab. As a tenure-track professor, Dr. Barr spent a decade teaching and serving on several graduate admission committees at UNC-Chapel Hill before turning to full-time consulting. With more than seven years of experience as a graduate school admissions consultant, Dr. Barr has stewarded the candidate journey across multiple master’s and Ph.D. programs and helped hundreds of students get admitted to top-tier graduate programs all over the world .

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

• Ruth Gotian
• Ushma S. Neill

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

• Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
• Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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MBA Personal Statement Examples and Strategy

A successful MBA personal statement is both engaging and persuasive. The essay carries the reader along effortlessly while convincing them that you are qualified and worthy.

Armed with a great personal statement, you have an improved chance of entering the MBA school of your choice. But what does it take to write a personal statement that could give you better prospects in the application process? Would you like some free samples?

Here has some ideas and a strategy for writing an excellent admissions essay, along with plenty of examples for you to use.

Build Your Personal Statement Around a Core Idea

The core idea — the essence, theme or central point — becomes the driver of content for your essay. Everything else in the document should support that concept.

• When responding to a specific question, your core idea should directly and elegantly answer the question.
• When writing a less-directed essay, you still need a driving concept; you just have more choice as to what the concept can be.

This core idea is your thesis. The thesis statement gives your admissions essay a clear direction.

The central theme is also what weaves your essay to make it a unified whole. It is the driving force that makes your essay strong and engaging. Here is a good example of thematic writing , with the topic in this case being how MBA studies help cultivate leadership qualities.

Without a core idea, readers may become lost as to what you’re meaning to say. There will be no binding theme and various details may seem irrelevant or out of place. The admissions panel should be able to quickly grasp what you’re attempting to convey.

Include Only Relevant Details in Your MBA Essay

Essays that are essentially resumes in prose — or which attempt to tell your entire life story — descend into the unwanted mishmash category. MBA essays that are replete with irrelevant details have strayed from their central mission. They are neither engaging nor persuasive and, indeed, bore readers.

Your MBA personal statement is a means to reveal who you are and what contributed to your character formation. But you want to avoid writing details about yourself that are not especially relevant to the application. These details can be tedious to read.

Remember that an essay has limits, including in terms of word count. Telling a story using key facts is better than making a bunch of loosely connected points that are full of details. Choose what you really want to write about. Here are some ideas you might find useful.

Common Writing Mistakes to Avoid

As a quality control device, you may want to be mindful about what to avoid in your essay. Here are some ideas on the common mistakes applicants make when writing an MBA personal statement.

1. Repeating or expanding on your resume

Perhaps the most common personal statement writing blunder is including an expository resume of your background and experience. This is not to say that business schools are not interested in your accomplishments.

However, other portions of your application will provide this information. Strive for depth, not breadth.

Aside from telling irrelevant details, listing down your accomplishments like you do in a resume is a no-no in writing your admission essay. You should not waste limited space by stating what can be easily found on your resume. You have to strive more for self-reflection because that is what the admissions panel wants to hear from you.

Focus on your purpose for writing the essay. This will help you put together ideas that can help back up your application and support your claim for a coveted spot.

2. Choosing a topic that could provoke negative reactions

Succeeding with your personal statement is not limited to the specifics of writing, such as grammar, style and details. Choosing a topic that won’t offend readers is equally as important.

Be sensitive to your readers and their potentially different and varying perspectives. The topic may have serious repercussions on how they perceive you as an individual or candidate for admission. Mistakes include looking unprofessional, revealing too much personal information or identifying yourself in terms of political or cultural leanings.

3. Including content that doesn’t help tell the story

An unfocused writer can rely too heavily on generalizations while also providing too many irrelevant details. The problem is that writers often don’t consider what is genuinely necessary to include or they repeat points.

Your MBA personal statement should be almost flawless. It should have a central idea to make it a unified whole. And the essay should only contain details that are important and relevant. After each draft is done, check that these goals are being achieved.

What Admissions Committees Look For

When evaluating MBA personal statements, admissions committees for MBA programs look for several key things, including:

• Professional experience: They want to see that you have relevant work experience, as well as a clear understanding of the role that an MBA will play in your career.
• Academic background: Admissions committees want to see that you have a strong academic foundation in business, as well as the quantitative and decision-making skills that are necessary for success in an MBA course.
• Goals and motivations: Admissions committees want to understand your motivations for pursuing an MBA and your long-term career goals. They want to see that you have a clear vision for how an MBA will help you achieve your goals and make a positive impact.
• Fit with the program: Committees want to see that you are a good fit for their particular program. They will look for evidence that you have done your research on the program and understand how it will help you achieve your goals.
• Writing ability: The panel will also evaluate your writing ability and communication skills. Your personal statement should be well-written, well-organized, and free of errors. It should also clearly articulate your ideas and convey your passion for business management.

Example 1: Family Business Part Owner

As the third generation to join the family business, I have always had a passion for continuing the legacy of success that my grandparents and parents have built. However, I have always felt that there was more I could learn to take our business to the next level and make a greater impact in the industry.

That is why I am pursuing an MBA at a top business school. I am eager to delve deeper into topics such as finance, strategy, and leadership, and to learn from experienced professionals in the field. I believe that this education will not only help me to advance on my current career trajectory, but also to drive growth and success for our organization and for the industry as a whole.

In addition to my experience in private business, I have a strong academic background. I received my undergraduate degree in Business Administration from XYZ University, where I learned business principles and developed analytical and problem-solving skills.

I am confident that my on-the-job experience, academic background, and passion for business make me an ideal candidate for a top business school’s MBA program. I am excited to take the next step in my career and to contribute to the growth and success of our family business and the industry through my knowledge and expertise.

Example 2: Financial Analyst

As a financial analyst at a leading consulting firm, I have gained valuable insights into the inner workings of the corporate world. However, I have always felt that there was more I could learn to help me better understand the big picture and make more informed decisions.

That is why I am pursuing an MBA. I am excited to delve deeper into topics such as finance, strategy, and leadership, and to learn from experienced professionals in the field. I believe that this education will not only help me to advance my career, but also to make a positive impact on the organizations I work with.

In addition to experience in finance, I have a strong academic background in business. I received my undergraduate degree in Economics from XYZ University, where I developed quantitative and other technical skills and learned management principles.

I am confident that my professional experience, academic background, and passion for business make me an ideal candidate for an MBA program. I am excited to take the next step in my career and to contribute to the growth and success of businesses through my knowledge and expertise.

Example 3: Healthcare Administrator

As a registered nurse and healthcare administrator, I have dedicated my career to improving patient outcomes and advancing the field of healthcare. However, I have always felt that there was more I could learn to better understand the business side of healthcare and make a greater impact in the industry.

That is why I am pursuing an MBA. I am excited to delve deeper into topics such as healthcare strategy, finance, and leadership, and to learn from experienced professionals in the field. I believe that this education will not only help me to advance my career, but also to drive positive change for the organizations I work with.

In addition to administration experience, I have a strong academic background in healthcare and business. I received my Bachelor’s degree in Nursing from XYZ University and my Master’s degree in Healthcare Administration from ABC University, where I learned the fundamental principles of both fields and developed my analytical and strategic skills.

I am confident that my professional and academic backgrounds, and passion for healthcare make me an ideal candidate for an MBA. I am excited to take the next step in my career and to contribute to the growth and success of healthcare organizations through my knowledge and expertise.

Example 4: Marketing and Sales Manager

As a business development manager at XYZ Company, I have gained valuable experience in the field of marketing and sales. However, I have always felt that there was more I could learn to further advance my career and make a greater impact in the industry.

That is why I am pursuing an MBA degree. I am eager to delve deeper into the complexities of business strategy and management, and to learn from experienced professionals in the field. I believe that this education will not only help me to become a more effective leader, but also to make a positive contribution to my organization.

In addition to significant real-world experience, I have a strong academic background. I received my undergraduate degree in Marketing from ABC University, where I learned the fundamental principles of business and developed technical and organizational skills.

I am confident that my experience, academic achievements, and passion for business make me an ideal candidate for an MBA. I am excited to take the next step in my career and to contribute to the growth and success of a business through my knowledge and expertise.

Example 5: Project Manager

As a project manager at a global technology company, I have gained a wealth of experience in driving cross-functional teams to achieve success. However, I have always felt that there was more I could learn to take my skills to the next level and make a greater impact in the industry.

That is why I am pursuing an MBA. I am eager to delve deeper into topics such as strategy, leadership, and innovation, and to learn from experienced professionals in the field. I believe that this education will not only help me to become a more effective leader, but also to drive growth and success for the organizations I work with.

In addition to management experience, I have a strong educational background. I received my undergraduate degree in Business Administration from ABC University, where I learned the fundamental principles of business and developed my analytical and problem-solving skills.

I am confident that my professional knowledge, academic background, and passion for business make me a strong candidate for an MBA. I am excited to take the next step in my career and to contribute to the growth and success of businesses.

Example 6: Startup Founder

As the founder and CEO of a successful start-up, I have gained valuable experience in the world of entrepreneurship and business. However, I have always felt that there was more I could learn to take my skills to the next level and make a greater impact in the industry.

That is why I am pursuing an MBA at a top business school. I am eager to delve deeper into topics such as finance, strategy, and leadership, and to learn from experienced professionals in the field. I believe that this education will not only help me to advance my career, but also to drive growth and success for my own business and for the organizations I work with.

In addition to my valuable business experiences, I have a strong education foundation. I received a Bachelor of Business degree from the University of Michigan, where I learned the fundamental principles of business and developed analytical and communication skills.

My business experience, academic background, and passion for business development make me a strong candidate for a top business school’s MBA program. I’m excited to take the next step in my career and to contribute to commercial growth and success through my knowledge and expertise.

Is Getting an MBA Difficult? How Hard?

Allan Duncan

A business school will typically give some weight to the MBA personal statement when assessing applications, but it is generally not the most important factor. Admissions committees also consider professional experience, academic background, GMAT or GRE scores, and letters of recommendation.

That being said, the personal statement is an important opportunity for applicants to showcase their strengths and explain why they are a good fit. A well-written MBA personal statement can help to differentiate an applicant from other candidates and provide insights into motivations, goals, and personality.

Overall, MBA personal statements represent just one piece of the puzzle when it comes to business school admissions. It is important to put effort into crafting a strong essay, but it is also important to focus on other aspects of the application.

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5 Harvard MBA Personal Statement Examples

Featured Expert: Aali Malik, MBA

Harvard MBA personal statement examples can be helpful to applicants preparing to write their own stellar essays. That's why we've provided five of them for you to review and get inspired. So whether you have your eyes set on Harvard business school or just need some help with your personal statement for a different business school, this post will have some valuable information for you.

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Article Contents 11 min read

An MBA personal statement is a short essay that summarizes your goals and experiences, as well as your reasons for pursuing an MBA and choosing a particular MBA program. It is also sometimes called a goal statement or MBA statement of purpose . A good personal statement should convince the admissions committees that you are the most suitable candidate for their MBA program by showing them your skills, experiences, and values. You can think of MBA personal statements as a cover letter for your MBA application. A cover letter is supposed to showcase your suitability for a professional role, and a personal statement is meant to communicate your suitability for a specific program and school. 

MBA personal statements are an essential part of your application because most graduate programs, like MBAs, look for well-rounded candidates. That's why they want to know more about your motivations and purpose for applying. To make an impression on your chosen business school's admissions committee, you need to show them the person behind the high grades and impressive MBA resume . It's also a great way to show the committee that you have outstanding communication skills, a trait that will serve you well as an MBA student and business leader in the professional world.

Brainstorming for personal statements and reading personal statement examples is also good preparation for MBA interview questions ! ","label":"Tip","title":"Tip"}]" code="tab1" template="BlogArticle">

The admissions committee of most MBA programs will usually pose a question (a prompt) that applicants are expected to answer in essay format. While these questions vary from one program to another and often change from year to year, there are prompts that are commonly used by all programs every application cycle; reviewing common prompts can help you prepare and give you ideas for the statement you will need to write. Harvard Business School (HBS) is a very prestigious institution and the competition to get into their MBA programs is fierce. That's why the admissions committee always gives applicants great personal statement prompts that encourage students to self-reflect on their motivations, perspectives, and goals. This is an excellent way for the admissions team to ensure that your values align with the school's.

Below are some of Harvard's famous prompts with sample answers that will help inspire your own. Pay special attention to the different ways these sample answers respond to the prompt while tying it back to the skills and qualities needed to succeed in business school.  

Looking for tips for writing your MBA resume as well? Take a look at this infographic:

Prompt: Describe an internal conflict (or difficult decision) that you have faced. How did you resolve the situation? What did you learn from this? (500-word limit). 

As a business owner, I frequently encounter the need to make decisions that affect others, but the most difficult decision I have ever had to make was a personal one about my career. 

Five years ago, I worked as a financial manager in a car dealership, and I was rather successful at it. In addition to working as a financial manager, I often spent my weekends working on cars with a friend who owned a small auto repair shop. We often talked about becoming partners and growing the business, but I was too comfortable at my job and unwilling to make such a risky move. My position as a finance manager was well-paid; it involved constant interaction with the public, sales, and business analysis, all of which I enjoy very much. Unfortunately, there was also no room to grow or learn anything new with this position, which I did not enjoy. Eventually, I found that even though I was comfortable, I was not happy with my work, and I was not putting in the same level of effort I once did. It wasn't long before I concluded that I needed to make a change. 

I pride myself on my ability to take a step back, look at the bigger picture and objectively analyze a situation. So that's exactly what I did with my career. I was able to look at the different aspects of my life and the skills that I have to offer. I came to the conclusion that my relative youth and lack of dependents made this the ideal time for me to take a big risk. I also felt that being a business owner would allow me to express my talents effectively and bring a significant contribution to the local economy. So, I decided to take a leap of faith and become part owner in the auto repair shop that my friend owned. 

The process of making this difficult decision and the resulting experience has taught me the importance of considering all options and that some risks are worth taking. I also learned a lot about myself during this process. I devoted numerous hours to contemplating questions such as 'What do I like to do?' 'What am I good at?' 'What role do I wish to play in my community?' I came out on the other side, strengthened and determined. I made that decision four years ago, and since then, I have not looked back or hesitated. It has been a challenging but rewarding experience. We've been able to grow our auto repair shop from a three-person operation to a company that employs twelve mechanics. 

I am dedicated to developing my business administration knowledge for my employees, business partner, and myself. Harvard Business school is the best place for me to do this, as it has a well-rounded curriculum that focuses on building leadership and analytical skills. Both of those are skills that I possess and wish to hone. 

Harvard MBA Personal Statement Example #2

Prompt: What are your three most substantial accomplishments and why do you view them as such? (600-word limit). 

I’ve achieved a few things in my life, many of which are listed on my resume. But my three most substantial accomplishments are not academic or professional. Still, they have significantly impacted every aspect of my life, including how I approach my work and school life.   

1. Leaving my hometown

I know that this is something that hundreds, if not thousands of people do every day, but I believe that it is a substantial accomplishment for many of those people too. I grew up in a small, conservative town with a population of less than 2000, and for a long time, my view of the world did not extend past the borders of our little town. I am an avid reader and was content with traveling only through the words of others. However, as I grew and started thinking about college and the career that I wanted, I realized that I could not succeed the way I wanted to without expanding my worldview. I then had to decide: stay in my comfort zone and settle or leave everything I knew behind and pursue my dreams of being an environmental lawyer. My ambition won. At the age of 17, I packed my bags and moved to the other end of the country. To this day, it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it is also the best decision I have ever made. 

2. Becoming a firefighter

Six years ago, I started volunteering as a firefighter, and it has been the most rewarding experience of my life. When I moved to this city, it took me a while to find my footing, but so many amazing resources were available to support me in my transition. So, when I finally settled down, I decided to give back to the community that had welcomed me with open arms, and I wanted to do that in a way that also challenged me. The training to become a firefighter pushed me both physically and mentally, and being in the field also pushed me emotionally. Unfortunately, as a firefighter, there are days when we can't get there in time, or we cannot save everyone. On the other hand, it also serves as a big motivator, and I can honestly say that every time we save someone, it feels like a substantial accomplishment. 

3. Making my workplace go green

One of the many things that I appreciate about my hometown is the community spirit. Everyone often comes together and does their part for the good of the entire community. It's something that I try to take with me everywhere I go. It is why I got involved with the student union in college, why I hope to get involved with the one at HBS, and why I decided to take the initiative and spearhead a project that would have a long-term effect at my workplace. I was able to enlist the help of three of my colleagues. We worked together to digitize the company's filing system, thus increasing efficiency and pushing us forward in our efforts to use less paper. In the last year, we’ve continued working towards becoming a greener company. I am proud of the progress that we’ve made because it took a lot of hard work, but it will positively impact not only the company but also our community. 

I think my accomplishments show a trend of persistence, community spirit, and diligence. I hope to bring all of these to Harvard Business School and carry them with me as I practice as an environmental lawyer in the future. 

Would you like to see these prompts all in one place to help you practice? This infographic is for you:

Prompt: What do you enjoy and what do you dislike about your current job? Why? (300-word limit). 

I have been working in a customer service center for almost a decade. When I first started as a customer service representative, I enjoyed making someone's day a little easier by providing a simple service. Today, I have worked my way up to my current role as Team Leader, and the thing that I enjoy the most about my work has not changed. As a Team Leader, I get to make my agents' days a little easier by doing everything I can to ensure they have what they need to do their job and enjoy the process. 

Another thing that I equally enjoy is that this role is constantly pushing me. I have often had to challenge myself to look for new and creative ways to keep my staff motivated and working as a unit. I am particularly proud of the points reward system that I created for my team, which is now used by all the different teams on the call center floor. 

On the other hand, I dislike my salary. Salary isn't the most important thing for me, but the reality is that money is an important factor when it comes to employment, especially when you have a family to support and bills to pay. I have discussed this with my employer, and unfortunately, there is just not much they can do while I am working in this particular position. 

It is one of the reasons why I wish to attend Harvard Business School. Over the years, as a student union member and then an employee, I have proven that I have the dedication and leadership qualities needed to succeed in a managerial role. Now, I am ready to invest in my future by learning from a school with a track record for creating creative business leaders.  

Harvard MBA Personal Statement Example #4 

Prompt: What are your career aspirations and why? How will you get there? (300-word limit). 

My long-term career goal is to occupy a senior managerial position in a corporation that manufactures, distributes, and markets high-end clothing. I plan to accomplish this by using the knowledge that I will gain from my MBA, and the analytical and leadership skills that I have honed over the years as a marketing director. 

I have been fascinated by fashion since I was a child. I was the kind of little girl who spent hours playing with dolls and trying on her mother's high heels. I have a curious mind and enjoy learning, so I started reading about fashion and its history. My fascination with the clothing industry, and consequently the size of my wardrobe, grew as I learned more about the subject.  

Over the years, as I learned about fashion, completed an undergraduate degree in statistics & marketing, and started working as a marketing specialist, I came to understand that only 50% of a successful business depends on the product or service it sells. The other 50% depends on business operations. If the accounting, marketing, and logistics are not right, then it does not matter how good the product is. Since I, unfortunately, have no talent when it comes to clothing design, my short-term goal is to master everything to do with the second half of running a successful business, and I believe that HBS is the best place for me to do that.  

I genuinely believe that my academic background, love for learning, and over six years of experience in fashion marketing have prepared me to handle the demanding nature of an MBA. I also know that Harvard's well-rounded MBA curriculum will give me the knowledge and network I need to accomplish my short-term goal, thus bringing me closer to my long-term career goal.  

Harvard MBA Personal Statement Example #5

Question: As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program? (No specific word count) 

Beyond the achievements and qualifications listed on my resume, I would like you to know that I am a leader who is passionate about education technology, and I believe that Harvard is my calling.  

Harvard Business School is the institution that initially piqued my interest in management sciences. Prof. Jonathan Smith, who taught my introduction to management course at the University of X, is a Harvard alumnus. He introduced me to the IBM portal, where he often read articles and case studies, which I still keep up with today. It is actually one of those articles that convinced me to apply for this Master in Business Administration/Master in Public Administration-International Development program. 

Last year, there was an article about the different ways in which technology can help increase the quality of the education for underserved populations. This topic is very dear to me because I grew up in an immigrant community and saw firsthand what it means to live in a poor, remote part of a country. While I completed my undergraduate teaching degree, I worked as a research assistant for Dr. Jane Laporte, who was conducting a study on a similar topic. She found that children who had access to certain technologies learned a lot better, even when all other circumstances were not ideal. 

I intend to leverage my teaching experience and the business acumen I'll acquire at Harvard to increase access to education through Ed-Tech products. My experience as a teacher in low-income communities has given me the knowledge needed to take on such a project. I also have a proven track record as a leader, starting in high school as a co-president of the student body and captain of the varsity soccer team, continuing in college as an elected vice-president of the student union, and even now, as the head of the teacher's association in my local community. 

Now, I am ready to take the next step in my academic career by attending Harvard Business School and completing the MBA/MPA-IDM program. I have selected this program because it offers a well-rounded curriculum focusing on international development and business administration. I believe that it is the best way for me to acquire the business savvy that I need to fulfill my long-term career goal. 

In short, an MBA personal statement is like the cover letter for your MBA application. It is a short essay that tells the admissions committee about the person behind the application. 

Yes, they are. Your MBA personal statement is an integral part of your application. It is supposed to show the admissions committees what skills, experiences, and fresh perspective you bring to their program. When done correctly, it can make your application stand out. 

Many business schools have a specific word limit, so you should always check the specific requirements or guidelines provided by the school. If there is no word count mentioned, you should aim for around 400-1,000 words. 

It is always a good idea to review personal statement examples and look at statement of purpose examples and tips for assistance in crafting your own statement. Harvard Business School has some excellent prompts that require applicants to dig deep and self-reflect. Therefore, they are a great tool for inspiring applicants who may be having a hard time brainstorming for their own statement. 

Not all schools provide a prompt, but they may provide different requirements. It is essential to always check the specific guidelines provided by your chosen school. 

Yes. Usually, schools will change the essay question every year or every application cycle. However, even if the wording of the prompts change, the core of the questions they ask remain the same. This is why it’s always a good idea to look back at old prompts.

We do not recommend doing this. First, many business schools have specific questions or prompts that your personal essay will need to answer. Secondly, different schools value different things, and your essay should reflect the values and skills that your chosen school is looking for in candidates. 

Yes. We highly recommend having someone else look at your statement to make sure it is grammatically correct, coherent, and compelling. To ensure that this is the case, you might want to consider investing in MBA admissions consulting .

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MBA Personal Statement Examples for Graduate Applicants

In this article, we look at MBA personal statement examples for graduate applicants.

How does a focus on challenges enhance your application? Keep reading to find out how a passion for finance, experience of diversity and a dream of running a social enterprise inspired three candidates to apply for an MBA.

Applying to MBA programs can be a challenging task. To be successful, you need to make sure that you have everything in order, from your transcripts to your test scores.

One of the most important parts of your application is your personal statement, which can help you stand out and get into the program of your choice. We have tips on the 8 key elements to include in your statement, as well as some example MBA personal statements.

Table of Contents

What is an mba personal statement, what to include in your mba personal statement, focus on the challenges to make your personal statement stand out, 9 steps to writing your best mba personal statement, mba personal statement example 1 – a passion for finance, mba personal statement example 2 – diversity and leadership, mba personal statement example 3 – a social entrepreneur, faq (frequently asked questions), more personal statement tutorials.

It’s an essay that is required when applying to a Master of Business Administration (MBA) program after completing your undergraduate degree. It is a summary of your qualifications and experiences, goals, and reasons for applying to your chosen MBA program.

It’s your chance to demonstrate the skills, experiences, and fresh perspective you can bring to the program. It is also a way for the selection panel to learn more about you.

Overall, a personal statement is an important part of an MBA application as it allows the candidate to demonstrate their strengths and suitability for the program.

This is your ‘why’ – why are you applying to this program?

• Be specific: Instead of simply stating that your goal is to advance your career, be specific about the type of role or industry you hope to pursue after completing the program. For example, you might state that your goal is to become a marketing director for an international non-profit.
• Connect your goals to your past experiences: Highlight how your past experiences have prepared you for your future goals. For example, you might discuss how your experience in sales has given you a strong foundation for a career in marketing.
• Show how the program will help you achieve your goals: Explain how the MBA program will help you achieve your goals, whether that’s through providing you with new skills or knowledge, expanding your network, or giving you access to new career opportunities.
• Discuss your long-term aspirations: While it’s important to focus on your immediate post-MBA goals, it’s also helpful to discuss your long-term aspirations. This can show that you have a clear sense of direction and are committed to ongoing professional growth and development.

2. Background

A strong background for a personal statement should include a description of your academic qualifications, particularly your undergraduate degree.

Other knowledge and skills, professional and personal goals, and experiences that have shaped you as an individual are also useful. The challenges section will help you out with some ideas!

It should also include an explanation of why you are the right fit for the program you are applying to.

3. Interests

I am particularly interested in learning more about how to manage a diverse global team, many of whom are still working online and may have never met in person.

Examples of interests that can be included in a personal statement include business acumen, leadership, problem-solving, strategic thinking, and research.

Leadership involves inspiring, motivating, and managing others. Problem-solving requires critical thinking, analysis, and creativity to identify solutions to issues and challenges.

Strategic thinking is the ability to anticipate the long-term implications of decisions and plan appropriately.

Research involves being able to effectively search for, analyze, and utilize information.

When writing a personal statement for graduate business school, it is important to showcase your commitment to academic excellence.

Additionally, it is important to demonstrate your ability to take on challenges, your creative problem-solving skills, and your ability to work both independently and as part of a team. Soft skills such as decision-making, time management, and people management are also extremely important.

Furthermore, an understanding of the goals and objectives of the program and how they align with your own goals and objectives will be beneficial.

5. Learning Experiences

I remain committed to setting the example of lifelong learning as a leader and entrepreneur.

When crafting a personal statement for graduate business school, it is important to include various types of learning experiences. These can be divided into three categories: academic knowledge, work experience, and personal growth.

Academic knowledge refers to the facts and theories you have learned throughout your education. It is important to mention the classes you have taken, the books you have read, and the research you have done in order to demonstrate your commitment to learning.

Work experience is also essential to include in a personal statement for graduate school. It is important to share your experience in the field, highlighting any applicable skills you have gained and any challenges you have faced.

By including these different types of learning experiences in your personal statement, you can demonstrate that you are prepared for the challenges of graduate school and are ready to make a positive contribution to your chosen field.

6. Motivation

Including your motivations in your MBA personal statement is crucial to demonstrate how you are a good fit for the program. Here are some tips to help you include your motivations effectively:

• Share your story: Use your personal statement to tell a story about why you are motivated to pursue an MBA. For example, you could talk about a challenge you faced in your career and how an MBA will help you overcome it.
• Connect your motivations to the program: Make sure to explain how the specific program you are applying to will help you achieve your goals. For example, you could talk about the program’s focus on entrepreneurship and how it aligns with your goal of starting your own business.
• Be authentic: Don’t try to write what you think the admissions committee wants to hear. Instead, be honest and authentic about what motivates you and how an MBA will help you achieve your goals.

Remember, your personal statement is your opportunity to showcase your motivations, goals, and unique qualities to the admissions committee.

7. Achievements

Including your achievements in your MBA personal statement is an important way to demonstrate to the admissions committee that you have the skills and experience to succeed in the program. Here are some tips to help you include your achievements effectively:

• Use numbers and metrics to quantify achievements
• Show your role and impact
• Provide context (You can briefly use the STAR model – outlining the situation, target, action and result)
• Be humble and make it clear that it was a team effort

Use your achievements to demonstrate your skills, experience, and potential for success in an MBA program, but also make sure to include other elements, such as your motivations and goals, to provide a well-rounded picture of who you are as a candidate.

8. Strengths

I am an experienced coach and mentor, with a particular passion for mentoring and supporting other BAME women.

Strengths are an essential part of any successful personal statement and should be included to show any potential employer or academic institution the skills you possess.

Highlighting your strengths in your MBA personal statement is important because it helps the admissions committee understand what you can bring to the program.

Here are some tips to help you highlight your strengths effectively:

• Identify your strengths
• Use specific examples to demonstrate your strengths
• Connect your strengths to the program
• Be authentic

Writing about your life’s challenges is a powerful way to demonstrate resilience, determination, and personal growth. Here are some tips to help you include your life challenges effectively:

• Choose a challenge that is significant, relevant, and has had a meaningful impact on your life.
• Be honest and authentic when describing your challenge. Don’t try to sugar-coat or exaggerate your experiences.
• Explain how your challenge has impacted your life and motivated you to pursue an MBA. Describe the specific ways in which you have grown and developed as a result of your challenge.
• Connect your challenge to the program and explain how your experience will make you a better candidate. For example, if you overcame a difficult personal situation, you can explain how that experience has taught you resilience and determination, qualities that will be valuable in an MBA program.
• While it’s important to be honest about the challenges you’ve faced, avoid dwelling on the negative. Instead, focus on how you overcame the challenge and the positive impact it has had on your life.

Some examples of life challenges that are relevant to an MBA personal statement include:

• Explaining the need to migrate as a political refugee and how that experience has shaped your views on business.
• Overcoming previous personal and professional failures in business. I learned more from a failed business than from 10 years in the industry.
• Describing how you have embraced evolution and responded to the changing needs of society and the world.
• Demonstrating an understanding of business ethics and customer service.
• Articulating your strategy for success and how it has positively impacted your business.
• Highlighting the importance of innovation and how it can move a business forward.
• Displaying your understanding of process improvement and how it can help a business become more efficient.
• Discussing how facing failure can be a learning opportunity. Watching my uncle fight back after a plant closure was inspiring to me.
• Step 1: Start early

Make sure to give yourself enough time to work on your personal statement. You can never be too prepared!

• Step 2: Show your passion

Approach your personal statement with enthusiasm and show your passion for the MBA program you are applying to.

• Step 3: Keep it concise and pleasant

Choose to write only what is relevant and needed and stay away from being overly wordy.

• Step 4: Write within the recommended length

Stick to the word limit specified – check carefully, every program is different.

• Step 5: Write a separate statement for each program

If you are applying to multiple MBA programs, make sure to create a unique personal statement for each one.

• Step 6: Follow the guidelines

Carefully research and read the admission instructions for the university you are applying to.

• Step 7: Highlight key elements

When writing, include content that admissions committees are looking for and keep the reader’s attention with your writing.

• Step 8: Maintain authenticity

Be honest and genuine in your writing. It is important to sound like yourself and not try to be someone else.

• Step 9: Proofread and edit

Make sure to go through your personal statement one last time to make corrections and improvements.

Examples of effective personal statements for MBA applicants

Below we have outlined examples of personal statements for MBA applicants to help you understand what is required.

I am passionate about pursuing an MBA at the University of Virginia Darden School of Business to reach my professional goals. I have always dreamt of having a career in finance and making a meaningful contribution to society by supporting individuals to build individual portfolios of low-cost index funds. My ambition has been fuelled by my experience in the financial sector and the close relationships I have built with mentors and peers in the industry.

I am driven by the idea that I can use my knowledge and skills to create financial solutions that will benefit the wider world. To me, the opportunity to pursue an advanced degree in finance at the University of Virginia is an invaluable opportunity to gain the skills and knowledge I need to make a positive impact in a developing sector.

My passion for finance is bolstered by my commitment to delivering the highest quality of service in my work. I strive to make sure that each decision I make is one that will benefit the client and make them feel secure in their financial decisions. I believe that navigating the world of finance requires a great deal of knowledge and patience, as well as a keen eye for detail and an entrepreneurial spirit. With the right set of skills, I am confident that I can make a lasting contribution in the field of finance.

Steve Jobs said that “you have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right” if you want to stick it out. This statement has resonated with me deeply, and I believe that my passion for finance is precisely what will give me the motivation to stick it out during my studies and beyond. As more and more people embrace the idea of early Financial Independence, they need well-qualified independent financial advisors to support them to achieve their dreams. My ultimate goal is to make a lasting difference in the world of finance and to create meaningful financial solutions that will benefit a broad range of people by setting up my own online consultancy. I am confident that this course will be the perfect stepping stone into this world.

As a first-generation college student from a multicultural background, with Scottish and Nigerian heritage, I have experienced the transformative power of diversity. Growing up in Charlotte, North Carolina, a community that celebrated and valued diversity, I learned to appreciate the unique perspectives and experiences that individuals from different backgrounds bring to the table. Attending the North Carolina Highland Games and leading a volunteer team annually has led to a wealth of experiences which make me proud to represent my heritage and my community.

My experience with diversity has taught me to be empathetic, open-minded, and adaptable, skills that I believe are essential for success in today’s global business world.

Throughout my academic and professional journey, I have taken on leadership roles that have allowed me to put these skills into practice. For example, in my current role as a project manager at Smithron Company, I lead a team of individuals from diverse backgrounds and cultures. As a leader, I strive to create a culture of inclusivity and mutual respect where every team member feels valued and heard. I believe that by embracing diversity, we can achieve better outcomes and make a positive impact in our community. I am an experienced coach and mentor, with a particular passion for mentoring and supporting other BAME women.

My experience with diversity and leadership has motivated me to pursue an MBA program that will provide me with the tools and knowledge to lead in a complex and ever-changing business environment. I am particularly interested in the program’s focus on global leadership, as I believe that the ability to lead effectively in a global context is essential for success in today’s interconnected world. I am particularly interested in learning more about how to manage a diverse global team, many of whom are still working online and may have never met in person, as this seems to be a growing trend in hybrid businesses.

In addition to my experience with diversity and leadership, I bring to the program a strong academic record and a track record of success in my professional career. I am confident that my unique background, skills, and experience will make a valuable contribution to the program’s community.

Overall, I am excited about the opportunity to pursue an MBA program that aligns with my personal and professional goals. I believe that the program’s focus on diversity, leadership, and global perspective will help me achieve my full potential and make a positive impact in the business world.

As a creative and independent thinker, I have always been drawn to new and innovative ideas. My passion for originality has led me to pursue a career in entrepreneurship, where I have had the opportunity to create and grow businesses that make a positive impact on people’s lives. My first successful enterprise was an organic food cooperative which partnered with our local women’s shelter and has consistently donated 20% of profits to supporting community charities.

I believe that entrepreneurship is a powerful force for good, and I am committed to using my skills and experience to create innovative solutions to the world’s most pressing problems.

In addition to my entrepreneurial pursuits, I am also deeply committed to giving back to my community. I have volunteered with several non-profit organizations that focus on education and social justice, and I am passionate about using my skills and resources to make a positive impact on the world. While I admire the Microloan model and have seen it have a massive impact in many developing countries I believe it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone is entrepreneurial in nature and it’s also important to provide stable jobs where possible. I feel that by combining my entrepreneurial spirit with my commitment to social responsibility, I can create businesses that not only generate financial returns but also create social and environmental benefits.

My goal in pursuing an MBA program is to gain the knowledge and skills needed to take my entrepreneurial ventures to the next level. I am particularly interested in the program’s focus on innovation and entrepreneurship, as I believe that this will provide me with the tools and resources needed to create businesses that make a positive impact on people’s lives. I am also drawn to the program’s emphasis on social responsibility, as I believe that this is an essential aspect of creating businesses that have a meaningful and lasting impact on the world.

Overall, I am excited about the opportunity to pursue an MBA program that aligns with my personal and professional goals. I remain committed to setting the example of lifelong learning as a leader and entrepreneur and believe that my originality, creativity, and commitment to social responsibility make me a strong candidate for the program, and I look forward to contributing to the program’s community of diverse and innovative thinkers.

Some of these questions were already covered in this blog post but I will still list them here (because not everyone carefully reads every paragraph) so here’s the TL;DR version

How long should my MBA personal statement be?

An MBA personal statement should typically be between 400-1,000 words so we have kept our examples on the lower end.

Ensure you are answering the prompt and focus on the specific program you are applying for.

Taking the time to craft a well-structured, thoughtful essay will make sure you stand out from the competition!

What format should I use for my MBA personal statement?

The most common format is the essay format, which should include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

In the introduction, the reader should be engaged, and the body paragraphs should present information about the applicant’s career aspirations and commitment to the profession and social responsibility.

The conclusion should be a concise wrap-up of the statement that leaves the reader with the impression that the applicant is the right fit for the program.

What should I write about in my MBA personal statement?

When writing your MBA personal statement, it is important to focus on the questions that the school has provided, as these will help you understand what they are looking for.

Be sure to stay on topic and provide relevant information to answer the prompt. Additionally, make sure to mention any experiences, skills, or goals that are relevant to the MBA program you’re applying to.

To truly make your statement stand out, provide specific examples of leadership skills and other successes. When you are done, make sure to read your statement over and ensure that you have answered the question thoroughly.

As above, we believe that focusing on challenges as well as what you are most passionate about is a great place to start!

What are some examples of successful MBA personal statements?

There is no one-size-fits-all formula for writing an effective MBA personal statement, but there are several examples of successful essays that have helped applicants gain admission to some of the world’s best business school programs.

Examples of compelling MBA personal statements include stories of resilience, introspection, and initiative. These statements should reflect the applicant’s personality and writing voice in order to make an impression on the admissions committee.

In this article, we have provided three MBA personal statement examples for you to review.

How important is my MBA personal statement in the application process?

It is important to remember that all parts of your application are significant, but there is no doubt that the personal statement is the most significant factor when it comes to making a lasting impression on the admissions committee.

While a high GPA and GMAT score may help you stand out amongst other applicants, it is the personal statement that gives you the opportunity to show who you are, what you are passionate about, and why you are the ideal candidate for the program.

The personal statement is your chance to shine and make a statement about what you have to offer the institutions.

In short, an MBA personal statement is absolutely essential in the application process. It is an opportunity to make your mark and show the admissions committee that you are the kind of individual they are looking for.

And finally…what are the qualities that make a good MBA personal statement?

Good MBA personal statements should have the following qualities:

• Grammatical accuracy: it should be free of spelling and grammatical errors.
• Readability: it should be engaging and easy to read.
• Honesty: it should provide an honest story.
• Uniqueness: it should present a unique story without any cliches.
• Initiative: it should show evidence of initiative or an original idea.
• Leadership: it should exhibit positive qualities of unselfish leadership.
• Authenticity: it should feel authentic and make a strong case.
• Goals: it should outline the writer’s goals.
• Promise: it should demonstrate promise for success as you are an excellent candidate and deserve the chance to shine!
• Personal Statement versus Statement of Purpose
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Personal Statement for Business School: 6 Tips for Writing a Stand-Out Essay

September 16, 2016

The Personal Statement for Business School: 6 Tips for Writing a Stand-Out Essay

The personal statement for business school is the most important part of your application. By the time you are applying, you probably cannot significantly alter your GPA or GMAT/GRE score. Thus, if your numbers make you a “borderline candidate” – someone who could be admitted but could just as easily be rejected – your personal statement for business school is your greatest opportunity to swing the decision in your favor. In this case, you should also make sure to pay close attention to the MBA application timeline - apply in the first two rounds. As one Director of Admissions put it: “If someone with your numbers has a possibility of being admitted to a particular school, but not everyone with your numbers is admitted to that school, the major deciding factor is the personal statement.”

On the other hand, even if you seem like a shoo-in – you have, for example, a perfect GPA and a 750 on the GMAT – a weak personal statement for business school is damning . Indeed, nothing looks worse than a candidate with perfect numbers and no personality – or, worse, who exhibits a lack of effort on their application.

In short, your personal statement for business school is what makes you a person, rather than simply a set of numbers and achievements. It is your chance to introduce yourself to the admissions officers, and one of the only opportunities you will have to make an admissions officer like you , rather than simply liking your achievements.

Like most written assignments, the personal statement for business school is more of an art than a science. Although there are no formulas for success, your chances of acceptance improve greatly if you are willing to put in the time and effort necessary to produce a masterful essay. This is no small task – it will involve dozens of revisions and hours of re-writing and re-organizing. However, by committing yourself to producing an essay that far exceeds adequacy, you can help swing the admissions fortunes in your favor.

6 Key Tips for Writing the Best Personal Statement for Business school

1. Tell YOUR story.

Everyone has their own story to tell. You may have the same test scores or GPA or even work experience as the application sitting on top of yours in the admissions office. But not everyone has your individual stories. Tell them in a way that nobody else can replicate.

In addition to that point, your essay needs to be about you . Admissions officers from nearly every elite business school – Wharton, Harvard, and Stanford, to name a few – lament the number of essays written about a candidate’s parents and grandparents. Those relationships obviously affect your life, but writing about these individuals in an essay does not help a reader understand who you are as individual.

2. Your essay should coherently tie together the other parts of your application.

Most people enjoy participating in activities outside of only school and work. Maybe you play the harmonica in a folk band, maybe you were a track star in college. Maybe you do both. Whatever experiences and background you bring to your application, the personal statement for business school is your chance to tie them together in a meaningful way.

That being said, they should come together in a coherent manner as well. Don’t try to explain every experience you have ever had. Choose the ones that will be most relevant to business, to business schools, and to the person sitting in the admissions office reading your essay. There should be a cohesive narrative that ties together everything you have ever done.

3. Your essay needs to stand out.

Your essay needs to stand out. Applications are read on a comparative basis, which means that your personal statement for business school is read next to thousands of others. That is a lot of essays for an admissions officer to remember, so you need to make yours count.

This can be done in many ways. For example, by demonstrating your unique perspective or background, discussing a particularly interesting or unusual passion, or discussing any other experiences and characteristics that would be considered rare or special among your co-applicants. Remember: your excellence is not evaluated in a vacuum; you must show in your personal statement for business school that you are not only excellent, but you are better in some way(s) than your peers.

4. An admissions reader should be able to sum up your personal statement (and the rest of your application) using the same phrase you would use for yourself.

When you pick up your personal statement for business school , think to yourself: “If I were reading this application, how would I describe myself in 10 words or less?” If you can’t come up with a memorable and compelling answer in a few seconds, go back to the drawing board.

Most admissions officers remember essays that have a very clear persona about them. Think of your personal statement for business school as very similar to a business’s “30-second elevator speech”. Perhaps you are the “entrepreneur who launched her first company at age 10,” the “fitness expert,” the “orthodox rabbi,” or the “professional musician.” Remember: every admissions officer will look over hundreds of applications. If your pages aren’t readily distinguishable from the other 14,985 pages an admissions officer must read through, you simply cannot expect that an admissions officer will remember much about you, much less advocate that you be admitted.

5. Show your motivations for pursuing an MBA.

This tip might sound obvious, but many people neglect to address it in their personal statement for business school. One of the key questions that admissions officers ask as they are evaluating applications is: “Why does this applicant want to pursue an MBA...at our school?”

If the answer you suggest in your application is that you want an MBA in order to get a pay raise at your current job, then a school might be less inclined to admit you. Top MBA programs are looking for people who will leave their schools to become change-makers and leaders in the business world. Even if you are applying to business school as a more experienced applicant, you need to have a compelling answer for "Why an MBA now?"

Maybe you have been working your way up the ladder at an investment bank for the past few years, and you want an MBA so that you can take your managerial skills to the startup world. That example tells a more compelling story than “I want a better job.”

6. Show that you have the personal and professional qualifications to achieve your goals (which means you need to have goals!)

Your past work experiences and qualifications should in some way inform what your future goals are. To take the last example, if you have strong experience in managing a team, but would like to switch to the startup or nonprofit or other fields, you need to show - through your personal statement for business school - that an MBA is imperative to achieving your goals. These goals should be explicitly outlined in your essay.

MBA programs are looking for qualified, experienced, and motivated candidates. Your application - particularly the essay - is your only chance to display how you fit the bill. While your test scores and GPA may qualify you academically for certain schools, the personal statement for business school is where you have to opportunity to stand out.

Make it personal. Make it coherent. Make it goal-oriented. And you just might make it into your dream school.

Tags : personal statement for business school , MBA , mba admissions , getting an mba , mba application , MBA essay

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100+ Grad School Personal Statement Examples

by Talha Omer, M.Eng., Cornell Grad

In personal statement samples by field | personal statements samples by university.

In this Article

Importance of a Strong Personal Statement

Purpose of this blog post, length and format, tone and style, general tips for success, computer science and engineering, economics and finance, management and business, healthcare and medicine, environment and sustainability, public affairs, international relations and politics, architecture, arts and film, mathematics and statistics, religion and philosophy, phd personal statement examples, scholarship & fellowship personal statements, word count-specific personal statements, prompt-specific grad school personal statements examples, academic achievements and experiences, research experiences, work and internship experiences, volunteer and community service, personal growth and overcoming challenges, future goals and career aspirations, research the program and faculty, emphasize alignment with program objectives, highlight unique program offerings, overused phrases and clichés , excessive self-praise, lack of focus or organization, consulting mentors, and advisors, incorporating feedback and refine, introduction.

A personal statement is essential in the graduate school application process, as it plays a significant role in shaping the admissions committee’s perception of you. In fact, a survey conducted by the Council of Graduate Schools revealed that 64% of graduate admissions officers consider the personal statement to be the most crucial factor in the admissions process. Furthermore, according to a study by Kaplan Test Prep, a well-crafted personal statement can boost an applicant’s chances of acceptance by up to 50%.

The personal statement’s importance stems from its ability to create a lasting impression on the admissions committee. 

Consider this: the admissions committee (adcom) does not know you personally. They have never met or spoken to you, nor have they ever interviewed you. They only know you through quantifiable aspects such as your GPA, test scores, and work experience. However, they lack insight into your thought processes, aspirations, background, and personal experiences. In essence, they need to connect with you on a personal level. The personal statement serves as a bridge, enabling the adcom, who are human beings themselves, to gain insight into your personality, motivations, and aspirations beyond your grades and test scores.

Time and again, adcoms at top universities emphasize the critical role of personal statements in their decision-making process. Drafting a personal statement is your opportunity to market yourself, showcasing your unique qualities and demonstrating your genuine interest in their program. By investing time and effort into creating a powerful personal statement, you can significantly enhance your chances of securing a place in your desired graduate program.

In this blog post, I will be sharing over 100 authentic graduate school personal statement examples from successful applicants across the globe who have secured admission to prestigious programs in the United States and across the world.

These samples encompass a wide range of fields, including MBA, Law, Medicine, Engineering, and Social Work, and originate from esteemed institutions such as Harvard, Stanford, and MIT. You will find examples of personal statements for various degrees, including MSc, MA, LLM, Residency, MBA, and PhD programs. You will also find examples of statements written by applicants who obtained fellowships, and scholarships. By sharing these diverse examples, I aim to achieve the following goals:

• Inspiration and guidance: I want to provide you guys with a wide range of personal statement examples to serve as inspiration and offer guidance for making your own statements.
• Addressing common topics: These samples will cover all the common personal statement elements, helping you understand how to effectively discuss your academic achievements, research experiences, work history, volunteer work, personal growth, and future goals.
• Tips for success: The post will also provide helpful tips on tailoring personal statements to specific graduate programs, avoiding common pitfalls, and seeking feedback to improve the final draft.
• Empowerment: Ultimately, the goal of sharing these for free is to empower you guys to create compelling and unique personal statements that will increase your chances of being accepted into your dream graduate program.

By providing this comprehensive resource, I hope to demystify the personal statement writing process and equip you with the tools and inspiration necessary to craft a captivating narrative that reflects your unique journey and aspirations. 

Personal Statement Basics

When writing your personal statement, it’s crucial to pay attention to three key areas: length and format, tone and style, and general tips for success.

It’s important to create a well-structured personal statement that adheres to the specified word count and follows proper formatting guidelines. Some programs, particularly MBA programs, might not request a single personal statement. Instead, they may pose several questions and require you to write a brief essay for each one. Such programs typically break down a personal statement into multiple short questions, expecting essay responses tailored to each query. 

As a result, it’s crucial to carefully read the guidelines before you start writing, as students often mistakenly create a single personal statement and try to tweak it for various programs without realizing that different requirements exist. By doing so, they lose time and waste considerable effort and energy. 

Adhering to instructions and responding appropriately will leave a positive impression on the admissions committee. To accomplish this, consider these key aspects:

• Word count: Most graduate programs provide guidelines on the desired length of personal statements, typically ranging from 500 to 2,000 words.Adhere to these limits to show that you can follow instructions and communicate concisely.
• Formatting: Use a clear and easy-to-read font (e.g., Times New Roman or Arial) at a standard size (e.g., 11 or 12 points) with 1-inch margins. Ensure your document is well-organized with paragraphs and headings where appropriate.
• Structure: Start with a strong opening paragraph that hooks the reader, followed by body paragraphs addressing the key topics, and conclude with a memorable closing paragraph that reinforces your main points. This structure will ensure a cohesive and engaging narrative that effectively communicates your experiences and aspirations to the admissions committee.

In terms of tone and style, your personal statement should strike a balance between professionalism and authenticity to effectively convey your unique experiences and perspective. To accomplish this, consider the following aspects:

• Professional and confident: Adopt a professional tone in your writing, using clear, concise language. Be confident in presenting your accomplishments without being overly boastful.
• Authentic and personal: Avoid overly formal or academic language that may make your writing feel impersonal. Showcasing your authentic self will help the admissions committee connect with you on a personal level.
• Engaging storytelling: Use storytelling techniques to make your personal statement more engaging and memorable. This can include anecdotes, vivid descriptions, and a strong narrative structure. Starting with a quote that is relevant to your story is also a good way to begin your personal statement.

Lastly, adhering to tried and tested tips can greatly improve your personal statement, ensuring you present a polished and compelling narrative that effectively showcases your strengths and aspirations to the admissions committee. Some general advice is as follows::

• Start early: Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, write, revise, and seek feedback on your personal statement. On average. Grad school applicants spend 20+ hours in perfecting a personal statement of 1000 words. Moreover, they have their personal statement reviewed and redrafted 5 times on average.  
• Be focused and organized: Clearly structure your personal statement, addressing the main topics and ensuring your narrative flows logically from one point to the next. A well-organized statement will demonstrate your ability to communicate effectively and coherently.
• Proofread and edit: Carefully review your personal statement for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. Use free tools like grammarly to remove any unwanted errors in your writing.
• Seek feedback: Share your personal statement with your mentors, or peers, to gather valuable feedback. I especially recommend that you show your essay to someone who has already gone through the process successfully as they know the ins and outs well. Then, incorporate this feedback to refine and strengthen your final draft.

To help you get started and see everything that I just discussed in action, here is a list of 100+ personal statement examples from successful graduate school applicants.

Grad School Personal Statement Examples by Field of Study

• Example Personal Statement Computer Science (Admitted to Oxford with Low GPA )
• Example Personal Statement Computer Science (Admitted to Stanford )
• Example Personal Statement Computer Science (Admitted to Cambridge PhD )
• Example Personal Statement Artificial Intelligence (Admitted to UCLA)
• Example Personal Statement Machine Learning (Admitted to Duke )
• Example Personal Statement Data Science and Analytics (Admitted to CMU )
• Example Personal Statement Data Analytics (Admitted to Georgia Tech )
• Example Personal Statement Advanced Analytics (Admitted to NCSU )
• Example Personal Statement Mechanical Engineering (Admitted to USC , Imperial )
• Example Personal Statement Economics (Admitted to LSE )
• Example Personal Statement Economics (Admitted to Oxbridge )
• Example Personal Statement Finance (Admitted to MIT Sloan )
• Example Personal Statement Financial Engineering (Admitted to UC Berkeley )
• Example Personal Statement Financial Engineering (Admitted to UCLA )
• Example Personal Statement Accounting & Finance (Admitted to Michigan University)
• Example Personal Statement Investment Banking (Admitted to UPenn )
• Example Personal Statement (Admitted to Georgetown )
• Example Personal Statement (Admitted to Harvard LLM )
• Example Personal Statement (Admitted to Northwestern )
• Example Personal Statement (Admitted to NYU , Duke )
• 8 MBA Personal Statements (All IVY LEAGUES )
• Example BA Essays ( INSEAD )
• Example MBA Essays ( Kellogg Northwestern )
• Example Personal Statement Operations Management (Admitted to MIT PHD)
• Example Personal Statement Management (Admitted to Duke )
• Example Personal Statement Marketing (Admitted to NYU , Cornell )
• Example Personal Statement Business Analytics (Admitted to MIT , CMU )
• Example Personal Statement Management & Analytics (Admitted to LBS )
• Example Personal Statement Project Management (Admitted to UT Austin )
• Example Personal Statement Logistics & Supply Chain (Admitted to Boston . Penn State )
• Example Personal Statement Supply Chain Management (Admitted to MIT )
• Example Personal Statement Teaching ( Scholarship US State Department)
• Example Education Personal Statement (Admitted to UPenn , NYU , UCLA )
• Example Personal Statement Education Policy (Admitted to USC )
• Example Personal Statement Special Education Teacher (Admitted to TUFTS )
• Example Personal Statement of an Aspiring Teacher (Admitted to American University )
• Example Personal Statement Residency in Internal Medicine (Admitted to ASU )
• Example Personal Statement Counseling (Admitted to Harvard , Yale )
• Example Personal Statement Psychology (Admitted to NYU Steinhardt)
• Example Personal Statement Nursing (Admitted to Duke , Ohio)
• Example Personal Statement Public Health (MPH) (Admitted to Columbia , Emory)
• Example Personal Statement Social Work (MSW) (Admitted to Columbia )
• Example Personal Statement Veterinary (Admitted to UC Davis , CSU , Edinburgh)
• Example Personal Statement Biochemistry (Admitted to Johns Hopkins )
• Example Personal Statement Biology (Admitted to JHU )
• Example Personal Statement Anthropology (Admitted to Stanford )
• Example Personal Statement Environment and Sustainability (admitted to Stanford , CALTECH )
• Example Personal Statement Environmental Sustainability and Energy Management (Admitted to Yale , Duke )
• Example Personal Statement International Relations (Admitted to Columbia , Cornell )
• Example Personal Statement Political Science (Admitted to Duke , UCLA , NYU )
• Example Personal Statement Public Administration MPA (Admitted to Columbia , Harvard )
• Example Personal Statement Public Policy MPP (Admitted to Harvard , Brown , Erasmus Mundus Scholarship )
• Example Personal Statement Architecture (Admitted to Cambridge , Cornell , Yale )
• Example Personal Statement MFA (Admitted to New School and Rhode Island )
• Example Personal Statement in Filmmaking (Admitted to New York Film Academy )
• Example Personal Statement Fashion and Textile (Admitted to Parsons , Royal College of Arts )
• Example Personal Statement Math (Admitted to Oxbridge )
• Example Personal Statement Statistics (Admitted to NCSU , Cornell )
• Example Personal Statement Religious Studies (Admitted to Columbia , Harvard )
• Example Personal Statement 1 (Admitted to MIT )
• Example Personal Statement 2 (Admitted to Cambridge )
• Example Research Statement (Admitted to JHU )
• Example Statement of Research Interests (Admitted to Scripps )
• Example Statement of Objectives (Admitted to MIT )
• Example Personal StatemenT MS leading to Ph.D. (Admitted to Notre Dame )

These essays are written by applicants who are seeking financial aid or funding to support their graduate studies. In most cases, the program does not require a separate essay or application for the scholarship or fellowship, but in a few cases they do.

Most external donors do require a separate application such as the Fulbright program.

The purpose of these essays is to convince the selection committee that the applicant is the best candidate for the scholarship or fellowship.

• Scholarship Personal Statement Example (Won $250,000 Scholarship )
• Scholarship Personal Statement Example (Won Erasmus Mundus Scholarship )
• Fellowship Personal Statement Example (Won MIT Sloan Fellowship )
• Scholarship Personal Statement Example 1 (Won Fulbright Scholarship )
• Scholarship Personal Statement Example 2 (Won Fulbright Scholarship )

Word Count-Specific Personal Statements have a specific word count limit, which must be adhered to by the applicant. These are often required as part of graduate school applications, where the admissions committee wants to ensure that all applicants are providing the same amount of information and not exceeding or falling short of the specified word count.

Writing a word count-specific personal statement can be challenging, as applicants must balance providing enough detail to adequately convey their story and goals, while also being concise and staying within the specified limit. However, meeting the word count requirement is essential for demonstrating an applicant’s ability to communicate effectively, follow instructions, and prioritize information.

Here are a few examples of word-count specific personal statements.

• 100 Word Personal Statement Example
• 150 Word Personal Statement Example
• 200 Word Personal Statement Example
• 250 Word Personal Statement Example
• 300 Word Personal Statement Example
• 400 Word Personal Statement Example
• 500 Word Personal Statement Example
• 600 Word Personal Statement Example
• 700 Word Personal Statement Example
• 750 Word Personal Statement Example
• 800 Word Personal Statement Example
• 1000 Word Personal Statement Example

Prompt specific personal statements are statements that are tailored to answer a specific question or prompt in a personal statement. These statements are typically used in graduate school applications, especially MBA apps. These essays usually have a word-limit as well.

The purpose of a question specific personal statement is to demonstrate to the admissions committee that the applicant has the skills, knowledge, and experience required to succeed in the program. By directly addressing the prompt or question, the applicant can provide a focused and coherent response that highlights their relevant qualities and accomplishments.

For example, if a prompt asks an applicant to discuss their leadership experience, a question specific personal statement would focus on describing specific instances where the applicant demonstrated leadership skills and qualities, such as problem-solving, decision-making, and effective communication.

Here are some samples on Question or Prompt Specific Personal Statements.

• Prompt-specific Personal Statement on Career Goals
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement on Values that have Influenced You
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement on Leadership
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement on 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement on Describe a Challenge you Faced and How you Overcame it?
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement on My Passion in Life
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement on Why do you want to become a doctor?
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement Example 1 ( Responses to 6 Prompts for Fellowship)
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement Example 2 ( Responses to 5 Prompts for Duke)
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement Example 3 ( Responses to 3 Prompts for MIT)
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement Example 4 ( Responses to 4 Prompts for LBS)
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement Example 5 ( Responses to 4 Prompts for UC Berkeley)
• Prompt-specific Personal Statement Example 6 ( Responses to 4 Prompts for MIT)

Addressing Common Personal Statement Components

In this section, I will explore the various components that commonly make up a well-rounded personal statement.I have also discussed these in a lot more detail in a blog post here . In that post, I have also shared various examples of personal statements that show how you can put these components in an essay form. Furthermore, that blog post also introduces an 8-point framework designed to assist you in evaluating and rating your personal statement draft.

When applying for graduate programs that are academic in nature, such as PhD, Master of Science, or Master of Arts, it’s essential to emphasize your academic achievements and experiences in your personal statement. To effectively showcase your educational background, you can do the following:

• Highlight relevant coursework: Discuss courses that have prepared you for graduate study and demonstrate your passion for the subject.
• Showcase your academic accomplishments: Mention awards, honors, high GPA, or scholarships you’ve received, and explain their significance.
• Share influential academic experiences: Describe any conferences, workshops, or seminars you’ve attended, and explain how they’ve shaped your understanding of your field.

When applying for research-oriented programs such as PhD, post-doc, or research-based masters, it’s crucial to emphasize your research background, experiences, and achievements in your personal statement. To effectively highlight your research accomplishments, consider including the following in your personal statement:

• Describe your research projects: Outline the relevant research you’ve conducted, including the objectives, methodology, and results.
• Emphasize your role: Detail your specific contributions (co-contributor, co-author, lead researcher) to the research project, highlighting your skills and expertise.
• Discuss the impact: Explain how your research has contributed to the field (maybe you got published in a journal, got a patent or published a white paper). You can also discuss how it influenced your career goals.

When composing your personal statement, it’s a good idea to show your work and internship experiences, as they highlight your practical skills and dedication to your chosen field. These experiences are especially significant for those applying to professional programs such as MBA, Project Management, and Masters in Engineering. 

However, they can also add considerable value to applications for academic or research-based programs. To effectively emphasize your work experiences and their relevance to your graduate studies, take into account the following aspects:

• Detail relevant experiences: Discuss any internships, part-time jobs, or full-time positions related to your field, highlighting the skills you’ve gained.
• Demonstrate transferable skills: Show how your work experience has equipped you with valuable skills (e.g., teamwork, leadership, problem-solving) that can be applied to your graduate studies.
• Share meaningful moments: Describe any significant projects, accomplishments, or challenges you’ve encountered during your work experience that have shaped your perspective or goals.

In your personal statement, highlighting your volunteer and community service experiences can be a valuable addition, particularly for programs that emphasize social impact or community engagement, such as social work, public health, or education.

These experiences demonstrate your commitment to making a difference, and they showcase your ability to apply the skills and knowledge gained in real-world situations. Additionally, they reflect your extroverted nature, openness to new ideas, and willingness to engage with people from diverse backgrounds. 

Emphasizing your involvement in volunteer work and community service not only reveals your personal growth and alignment with your field of study but also highlights your ability to work collaboratively, appreciate different perspectives, and contribute positively to society. To give you some idea, you can demonstrate your service to the community by doing the following in your personal statement:

• Showcase your involvement: Discuss volunteer work, community service, or extracurricular activities you’ve participated in that are relevant to your field of study or personal growth.
• Emphasize personal growth: Describe the impact of these experiences on your personal development, such as gaining empathy, cultural competence, or leadership skills.
• Connect to your field: Explain how your volunteer or community service experiences relate to your graduate studies and future career aspirations.

By sharing the obstacles you’ve faced and the lessons you’ve learned from them, you demonstrate your resilience, adaptability, and motivation. Connecting these experiences to your academic and career goals will further emphasize your determination to succeed in your chosen field and your readiness for the rigors of graduate study. Here are some ideas to get you started with this:

• Share your story: Discuss any personal challenges or obstacles you’ve faced and how they’ve shaped your character, values, or motivations.
• Demonstrate resilience: Explain how you’ve overcome these challenges and what you’ve learned from the experience.
• Relate to your academic and career goals: Show how your personal growth and experiences have influenced your decision to pursue graduate studies and your future career aspirations.

Your personal statement should also address your future goals and career aspirations. You should discuss both your short-term (3-5 year) and long-term (10-15 year) goals in your grad school personal statement. 

Explain the motivation behind them, and connect these goals to the graduate program you’re applying to. This will show that you have a clear plan for your academic and professional journey, and that the program is an essential stepping stone toward achieving your goals. Here is a helping hand that will assist you include this element in your essay.

• Outline your short-term and long-term goals: Discuss your objectives for both your graduate studies and your future career, demonstrating a clear vision of your path.
• Explain your passion and motivation: Share the driving forces behind your goals, showcasing your enthusiasm and dedication to your field of study.
• Connect your goals to the graduate program: Illustrate how the specific graduate program you’re applying to will help you achieve your academic and career objectives.

Tailoring your Personal Statement for Specific Schools

One common mistake that applicants make is submitting a generic personal statement to multiple programs. This can significantly reduce their chances of admission. 

Universities appreciate when applicants have taken the time to research the specific program, courses, faculty, and research facilities, demonstrating genuine interest and effort. 

While it’s acceptable to have a core personal statement that outlines your personal story, achievements, and interests, it’s crucial to tailor part of the essay to the particular program you are applying to. By customizing your personal statement, you show the admissions committee that you’ve done your homework.

Here I have some suggestions for you that you can use to tailor your personal statement for the specific program.

To tailor your personal statement for specific schools, it’s essential to thoroughly research the program and faculty at each institution. This involves exploring the program’s curriculum, core and optional course offerings, summer internship placement opportunities, industry-affiliated projects that are available, faculty research interests, and the school’s overall reputation in your field. By understanding these aspects, you can demonstrate your genuine interest in the program and highlight how your background and goals align with the faculty and coursework offered.

Once you have a solid understanding of the program and faculty, emphasize the alignment between your own values, objectives, and the program’s values and objectives in your personal statement. This can include showcasing your commitment to the program’s core principles, highlighting your passion for the program’s focus areas, and demonstrating your enthusiasm for working with particular faculty members on research or projects that align with your interests.

Each graduate program may have unique offerings that set it apart from others, such as specialized courses, research centers, or industry partnerships. In your personal statement, highlight these distinctive features and explain how they will benefit you. By doing this, you show the admissions committee that you have carefully considered the program’s offerings and have a clear understanding of how they will contribute to your academic and professional growth.

Personal Statement Pitfalls to Avoid

When writing your personal statement, you should be watchful of common traps that can diminish the impact of your narrative. Avoiding these mistakes will help you create a nice, well-rounded and unique story that will stand out to the adcom.

I have also discussed these in a lot more detail in a blog post here . In that post, I have also shared various examples of personal statements that avoid these traps and some that fall for them.

Here are some critical pitfalls to avoid:

Avoid relying on common phrases or clichés in your personal statement. Nearly all the personal statement templates use clichés like, such as “I’ve always known that I wanted to…”, “I have a thirst for knowledge.”, “I want to give back to society.”, “Ever since I can remember…”. These can make your writing appear as copy paste, dull and boring. Instead, you should try to be creative and unique and use expressions that genuinely reflect your own individual experiences and motivations.

While it’s essential to showcase your achievements and strengths, be cautious not to overdo self-promotion. Overly boastful or self-aggrandizing language can be off-putting to the reader and you could come across as arrogant and self-conceited. Focus on presenting your accomplishments and experiences in a balanced and authentic manner, highlighting the impact and the lessons learned from them. In short, stay humble.

A disorganized or unfocused personal statement can make it difficult for the admissions committee to grasp your main points or understand your narrative. Ensure your personal statement is well-structured, with clear coherence between paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas. Stay focused on only talking about experiences that are relevant to your field of study. However, if you want to talk about something that you feel is important for the application but is not relevant to the chosen program, just touch upon it in your essay.

Again, I would recommend you to go through this post where I have delved deeper into the things you should avoid. Additionally, in that post I have also provided you with a 7-point framework that you can use to circumvent the common pitfalls often encountered in personal statements.

Seeking Feedback and Revising Your Personal Statement

Before submitting your personal statement, it’s essential to seek and incorporate feedback. Applicants who create successful personal statements spend 20 hours on average on creating the perfect essay. You should consult mentors, advisors, and peers, to refine your narrative. This section will guide you through the process of seeking feedback and making revisions to optimize your personal statement.

Seek input from individuals who know you well and have experience with the application process. I would also recommend that you should ask feedback from people who have successfully gone through the process in the past. Their feedback can help you identify areas for improvement, and ensure your narrative aligns properly.

After receiving feedback from various sources, take the time to thoughtfully consider their suggestions and incorporate them into your personal statement. Remember that not all feedback may be applicable or useful, so use your judgment to determine which revisions will enhance your narrative. Continue refining your personal statement through multiple drafts, ensuring your final version presents a polished and compelling story that showcases your strengths and aspirations.

I hope that these 100+ personal statement examples for graduate school and all the associated tips will provide you with the inspiration, guidance, and ideas you need to create a captivating narrative of your own. As you embark on this journey, remember that dedication, self-reflection, and resilience are key to putting up a persuasive narrative. Remember, there is no short-cut to success. Good luck, and we can’t wait to see where your academic journey takes you!

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Business Personal Statement Examples

What is a business personal statement?

Your business personal statement is essential for telling the university about your main strengths, and highlighting what sets you apart from all the other candidates.

Admissions tutors want to see candidates with real world business experience, who can apply it to their degree and bring value to their department.

It should also convey your passion for the subject, as well as why you want to pursue a degree in this particular subject.

How do I write a business personal statement?

It’s a good idea to start your statement with why you want to study business at university. Talk about one or two aspects that appeal to you and why.

Make sure you back up everything with examples, since you need to convince the admissions tutors that you they should offer you a place on their business course.

A successful business personal statement should be written clearly and concisely, with a good introduction, middle, and conclusion, without any waffle - remember, you only have a limited space of 4,000 characters. Our personal statement length checker can help you make sure you're within the character limit.

For inspiration on how to write your own unique statement, take a look at some of our business personal statement examples above, which will help you with how to structure it and what to include.

What should I include in my business personal statement?

It’s important to include skills and experience from all areas of your life and try to relate them to hobbies or extracurricular activities if they helped you to build on your strengths.

Think about how any work experience has helpd you, what you have learned from it, and how it might be useful in your degree.

University admissions tutors want business students on their course that are going to work hard and are going to be an asset to their department.

For more help and advice on what to write in your business personal statement, please see:

• Personal Statement Editing Services
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• Analysis Of A Personal Statement
• The 15th January UCAS Deadline: 4 Ways To Avoid Missing It
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• 10 Top Personal Statement Writing Tips
• What To Do If You Miss The 15th January UCAS Deadline.

Further resources

For more information and advice on business degrees and careers, please see the following:

• Business Undergraduate Degrees - WhatUni
• Business & Management Studies - The Complete University Guide
• Careers in Business - LSE
• How to get into a career in business - TARGETCareers

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• The University of Warwick

A guide to writing a Masters personal statement

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If you are considering postgraduate study, you will need to think about writing an application that demonstrates why you are the right candidate for the course and their university. This is where your personal statement comes in. 

You’ll already have written a personal statement for your undergraduate application, so the concept should be familiar. However, there are some things you should be aware of when it comes to writing specifically for postgraduate study. 

In this guide, we’ll explain how to write a stand-out Masters personal statement and provide you with some valuable insights from our Masters Recruitment Manager Danielle, here at Warwick Business School (WBS).

What is a Masters personal statement?

An MSc personal statement, also known as a ‘statement of purpose’, supports your application to study a postgraduate course at university. It should highlight your key skills and experience whilst demonstrating your understanding of the course and conveying your academic skills and interests.

From her experience in the Recruitment and Business Development team at WBS, Danielle gives her take on a personal statement: 

Your personal statement is your opportunity to sell yourself and differentiate yourself from any other applicant, share your passion for joining WBS and link your life experiences and skills to how you could contribute to a cohort.

How long should a Masters personal statement be?

A personal statement for postgraduate study should fit within two pages of A4. Whilst you won’t be penalised if it is slightly longer, you should always make sure the content is relevant and doesn’t repeat information elsewhere in your application. 

What do you need to prepare before writing a Masters personal statement? 

Before writing your personal statement for postgraduate study, there are a few things you should consider.

Research your options

Take the time to read through course pages and brochures. You’ll find in-depth information on what the course involves and how it might align with your career goals. Danielle explains how understanding what the course involves is key in demonstrating your suitability and passion for a course: 

All of our course webpages feature extensive information on the course modules, so take the time to show you’ve done your research in your personal statement. Your personal statement is your chance to relate yourself to our core values and demonstrate what a strong candidate you will be for one of our programmes. Ensure you also use this as an opportunity to link our programme to your future career.

Course titles should not be taken at face value. Whilst some universities will have courses with the same titles, the content will differ. You need to demonstrate you understand what the course entails and why you want to apply for a particular course as. Danielle adds:

Take time to look at the content of the course you are applying for; although course titles may be the same at different universities the course content can be different. Do your research and demonstrate this in your personal statement, showing how invested you are in studying at WBS.

Consider what you want from your studies

The range of choice when it comes to postgraduate study is vast, and it can feel overwhelming when deciding which course is right for you. 

Whilst opinions from your friends and family are important, they shouldn’t be the ultimate deciding factor when choosing a course. Ultimately you need to consider what you really want and whether it aligns with your career goals. 

Begin to prepare your application

Once you have decided which course you would like to apply for and you’ve ensured you meet the entry requirements, you will need to begin preparing your application. This includes collecting the correct documentation such as a CV, transcript, personal statement, and reference.

What should you include in a Masters personal statement?

Recruitment and admissions teams receive thousands of applications each year so it is important that your personal statement is to the point and demonstrates what they are looking for in their students. 

Danielle gives some insight into what our recruitment team looks for in a personal statement for a Masters degree:

Aim to keep your personal statement to the point by making sure you answer the following questions, addressing the key points our Selection Committee will be looking for:

• Why have you selected this course? What are your motivating factors?
• How do you see this course benefitting your career plans?
• What will you contribute to your cohort?

As well as addressing these key questions, you should also include the following:

Academic achievements 

You need to demonstrate how your undergraduate study has prepared you for a postgraduate course. You can do this by highlighting specific achievements, projects and pieces of work as well as mentioning any particular topics that interest you. 

Professional achievements

If you completed any professional work experience alongside your studies, it is a good idea to mention them here. Highlight any duties, tasks and responsibilities you had to demonstrate what you gained from this work experience. 

Relevant extracurricular activities

Including information about relevant extracurricular activities you are involved in can help to give a more rounded view of you as a person. This could include volunteering opportunities and any meaningful hobbies you have. 

Transferable skills

Your transferable skills should be highlighted throughout your personal statement. The types of things you could include are presentation skills, communication skills, analytical thinking and time management. Consider what you can bring to lectures and workshops. For example, if your course involves a lot of group work, use an example where you demonstrate your experience with this.

What should you avoid when writing a Masters personal statement?

Repetition of information.

When submitting both a CV and personal statement it can be easy to fall into the trap of just repeating the same information across both documents. Your personal statement is an opportunity for you to reflect and expand on what you have stated on your CV, rather than repeating the same information.

Not providing enough context

Simply listing your achievements without providing context will not prove to the recruitment teams that you are the right candidate for the course. Provide hard evidence to back up the statements you make and try to give two or three in-depth examples, rather than several weak answers. 

Not tailoring your application to the specific university or course

Recruitment and admissions teams are keen to hear why you have chosen a specific course and why you want to attend their university. You need to provide clear examples of what excites you about their institution and how you can align with their particular values.  

What do recruitment teams look for in a Masters personal statement?

University recruitment teams and selection committees review thousands of applications each year. To ensure your application stands out, you must show that you have taken the time to prepare and research your chosen university.

Recruitment teams want to see your passion for the subject and motivations for joining their institution. Detailing your experience and the skills you can bring will help to emphasise this. Danielle also suggests not overlooking the obvious when it comes to writing a personal statement:

It may sound simple but the first answer to this question is that the Selection Committee wants to see a well written, clearly structured personal statement which demonstrates good preparation and research.

What else do I need to include with my Masters application?

The documents you need to include in your application may vary by institution and course. But generally, as well as your personal statement, you will also need to include: 

• Academic and professional references
• Copies of your undergraduate degree certificate and academic transcripts
• A list of final year modules if you're still studying for an undergraduate degree
• A research proposal (not all courses will require this)

If you are an international student, there are some additional things you will need to provide including: 

• A copy of your passport
• Proof of your language proficiency through either a Test of English as a Foreign Language (TOEFL) certificate, or any others that meet requirements outlined on our course pages.

When are the deadlines for Masters applications?

Deadlines for Masters programmes vary quite widely between courses and universities. Information on specific deadlines can be found on their respective course pages and postgraduate brochures . You should aim to make an application early in the cycle to ensure there are still places available on the course.

Deadlines for scholarships and external scholarships can also vary, so if you wish to apply for these, you will also have to factor in these deadlines.

Frequently asked questions

Is there an interview for masters programmes.

At WBS, there are no interviews for MSc courses. Instead, all decisions are made based on the application you submit. Your undergraduate transcript will be reviewed in depth along with your CV and personal statement.

How many Masters can you apply for?

If you are applying to a UK university, you can apply for as many courses and universities as you like. However, you should not over-stretch yourself and you should only apply for courses that you are really passionate about.

Writing an appropriately tailored application can be time-consuming and attempting to write too many could jeopardise your chances of being successful. 

Do you have to pay for your Masters application?

We require an application fee of £75 to cover administrative costs. If you're applying to multiple Warwick courses, remember each course will warrant its own application fee. 

How do I apply for a Masters degree?

We have our own application system, and you can find linked 'how to apply' sections on all of our course pages. 

------------------------

Discover our range of MSc courses at Warwick Business School

Designed for the change makers of the future, our postgraduate courses will drive you to learn, question, debate and make an impact on the world around you.

Our challenging and rewarding courses will provide you with everything you need to take your personal and professional skills to the next level. 

Related Blogs

Alum Sophia shares her incredible journey at WBS - dive into collaboration, new experiences, and distinct academic opportunities

MSc Management student Aditya shares his advice on balancing his wellbeing alongside studies at Warwick Business School.

WBS MSc Mathematical Finance graduate Luxmi Kiran shares his top tips and advice for future students.

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Personal Statement for Business School – Examples & Tips

What makes a great personal statement, what should you not do in your essay, how to get started writing your personal statement, step 1: write a brag sheet.

• Was there a project, exam, sport, idea, etc that you excelled in?
• Were you ever promoted at work or given more responsibilities due to preforming well?
• Do you have any leadership or management experience?
• Have you ever started a successful business? Even if it is tiny.
• Do you speak any other languages and has it benefited you?
• Have you published anything or done any research?
• What are your extracurricular (sports, clubs, etc.) involvements?
• Have you ever volunteered?
• Have you received any honors, awards, medals, etc.?
• Have you overcame any obstacles in your life?
• Do you have any skills that are unique?
• Are there any unique features to your heritage, culture, or upbringing?

Step 2: Research the Business School

• Are you a legacy? Did you parents or grandparents attend that school?
• Did you grow up in the same location as the University or is the location of that University important to you?
• Are there any key features about the curriculum that this school has that other schools don’t?
• Did you attend this school for undergrad or any other degree?
• Do you have an affinity to this school for any particular reason?
• Did you visit this school and like it? This could have been with a friend, to sit in on a class, etc.
• Is there certain values or mission statement that is specific to this school?

Step 3: Brainstorm the specific prompt

Each Business School will have a different question, so make sure to look up the prompt for each school prior to writing. However, some of the most common questions are listed below:

• Why do you want to attend our business school and how can it pertain to your future plans?
• Please tell us about a leadership experience and challenges that you encountered.
• Our school is a diverse environment. How can you contribute?
• Please explain a failure or a challenge in your life and how you overcame it.
• Please explain an accomplishment and how you grew from it.

Step 4: Format into an Essay

Step 5: proofread.

Before submitting your personal statement, make sure to carefully proofread it for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. A well-written personal statement can be undermined by simple mistakes, so take the time to make sure your statement is as polished and professional as possible.

What is the best writing style?

Faqs about personal statements, when should you start writing your essay.

Early! Early! Early! Give yourself enough time to reflect on your experiences, goals, and motivations, and to craft a well-written and thought-out personal statement. This is not a task you want to rush through, as the quality of your personal statement can make or break your application. Additionally, most of Prep For Success Tutor’s students create 10-15 drafts and revisions before submitting their final essay.

Should you write a different essay for each school?

How long should your essay be, about the author.

Samantha Carney

About our business school admissions coaches.

• Business , Business School , Columbia Business School , essay , GMAT , MBA , NYU Business School , Personal Statement , Studying , Tutor
• June 21, 2023
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Example of a personal statement for a business degree  .

A business degree personal statement has a big impact on your chances of getting admitted to your desired University.

While grades and UCAS points are an important part of your application, indicating intellectual or academic strength, personal statements are how you demonstrate your character and extracurricular experience.

A personal statement shows your academic achievements in addition to providing context and insight into your passion and goals for business studies. Admissions committees want to know the value you can bring to the university - a personal statement helps them to better determine this.  

This guide will help you write a comprehensive and effective personal statement - one that complements your academic scores with a clear description of your unique talents, experience, ambitions and goals. 

The Structure of a Good Personal Statement

A good business degree personal statement should have a clear and logical structure.

Typically you would want to include the following sections…

Introduction:

• Your motivation for pursuing a business degree.
• Your reason for choosing this course at this university.

Skills and Achievements:

• Key traits and characteristics.
• Your academic accomplishments.
• Any business-related extracurriculars and leadership roles.

Your Business Experiences:

• Work shadow programs, Internships, group projects, or roles that highlight your relevant skills and learning inside or outside of the classroom.
• Key contributions and takeaways from each experience.

Closing Statement:

• Reiteration of your passion and suitability for the course.
• Vision for your future in business.

1. The Introduction: Crafting the Opener

The introduction of your personal statement sets the tone. It's where you explain 'why' you want to study a business degree. The opening lines are important because they capture the admissions committee's attention.

Clarity: Begin with a clear, concise statement about your desire to study business. This could stem from a lifelong fascination, a transformative experience, or a future goal you're aiming for. Explain briefly why you’re interested in this particular course at this particular University.

Personal Touch: Share a personal anecdote or experience that ignited your passion for business. Did a specific event or individual inspire you? Elaborate briefly, connecting it to your broader aspirations.

Forward-looking: Highlight where you envision a business degree taking you. Are you looking to drive innovation in a particular sector? Maybe you aspire to be a future leader in sustainable business practices?

Concise: Keep it short and impactful. Avoid meandering or generic statements. Be genuine about your motivation, ensuring it's specific to your aspirations. Any personal anecdotes should be concise and punchy - to the point.

Your introduction should come across sincerely. It should set the tone by offering a short description of your past inspirations and future ambitions in the realm of business.

2. Skills and Achievements

It’s important to effectively showcase your skills and achievements. Here's how to strategically highlight them:

Traits: Begin by pinpointing key character traits that support and emphasise your suitability for a business course. Are you a decisive problem solver? Perhaps you excel at analytical thinking or demonstrate resilience in the face of challenges. 

Identify your strongest relevant attributes and share them to paint a picture of the potential you can bring to the course. Committees are always looking to find candidates who have traits that will make them good business students and future industry leaders.

Academic: Reference all relevant courses or subjects that align with the courses you're applying to. Did you ace your 'Business Studies'? Why did you settle on the subjects and courses you chose at school? Perhaps you were involved in an olympiad? Make sure to mention any honours or accolades, or academic activities that showcase your academic ability and past performance. 

Academic excellence is always worth mentioning, even in school subjects you might feel are unrelated to business. Bear in mind that ‘business’ is vast, complicated, and ever-changing. It is difficult to predict what knowledge and skills might become critically important to business activity in the future. So, share your academic strengths and interests, whatever they may be. 

Activities: Beyond the classroom. Business schools value real-world engagement, leadership, and teamwork experience . Did you take part in any societies? Did you play a leadership role? Or partake in a notable entrepreneurship competition? Emphasise any leadership roles or participation in business-centric events. These experiences underscore your passion and hands-on involvement in the world of business.

3. Relevant Experience & Roles

A University admissions committee won’t expect you to have started your career already. But they will greatly value any extracurricular initiative. If you have been involved in any entrepreneurial, leadership, or management roles at school, then mention them. If you are a mature student, and have been in the workforce for some time, use any relevant work experience.

Internships or Work Experience: Were you part of an internship or work shadow programme? If so, then it would be excellent to mention how you actively participated in a formal business environment. Describe what business you were a part of, what you did, and what you learned from the experience. Perhaps that experience taught you skills? Any exposure to a business environment is valuable.

Projects & Working as Part of a Team: Perhaps you spearheaded a project at school? Working effectively in a team is a highly valued skill. If you can showcase any team experience that will definitely stand in your favour. Highlight the challenges that you faced, how you resolved them, and show what you learned from your experience working with a group of people. 

Roles: Did you assume any significant roles at school or in a business setting outside of school? Outline your responsibilities, the impact you made, and the insights you gleaned from both your successes and failures. This demonstrates not just your capability to understand a role and its responsibilities, but also your adaptability in changing challenging circumstances. 

If you felt you learned from an unsuccessful project where you had an important role, then share what you might do differently - what you learned. The ability to learn from past ‘failures’ is an extremely desirable trait that admissions committees will value highly.

For each experience, focus on the value you added and the lessons you learned. This will give admissions committees a clear picture of your practical abilities and your potential contribution to their course.

4. Closing Statement: A Strong Impression

Your closing remarks are crucial. They should leave the admissions committee with a good impression and reinforce your fit for the course.

Reiterate Passion: Briefly touch upon the core reasons driving your interest in business, consolidating what you've shared throughout your statement. Perhaps you're motivated by the challenges and opportunities of the evolving business landscape, or you're dedicated to making a positive impact in a specific sector.

Your fit for the Degree: Highlight your alignment with the specific business degree courses to which you're applying. Have you been particularly impressed by their focus on entrepreneurship or their reputation for fostering global leaders? Express how their unique offerings align with your aspirations.

Your Future Vision: Provide a glimpse into your future. Post-degree, where do you see yourself? Leading a startup? Championing sustainable practices in a multinational? Use this chance to project your potential contributions to the business world, showcasing ambition and forward-thinking.

Gratitude and Openness: Express appreciation for considering your application. Showcase your openness to further discussions, signalling your enthusiasm and readiness to engage with the institution.

End on a strong note, ensuring your closing words echo your dedication, clarity of vision, and the unique value you'll bring to the institution. 

Tips & Advice: Helpful Hints to Strengthen Your Personal Statement

Your personal statement is a reflection of your journey, aspirations, and suitability for the business degree. Keep these tips in mind for a standout submission:

• Authenticity: Always be genuine. While it's essential to present your best self, resist the urge to embellish or overstate. Authentic experiences resonate more than grand exaggerations.
• Clarity: Opt for clear, concise language. Admissions committees appreciate directness over dense jargon. Let your true voice shine through.
• Examples: Don't just state; demonstrate. If you claim to be a problem-solver, illustrate with an instance where you tackled a challenge head-on.
• Tailoring: Beyond expressing your passion for business, pinpoint why this specific degree aligns with your goals. Is it their renowned faculty, innovative curriculum, or alumni network?
• Review: Never underestimate the value of proofreading. Ensure your statement is free from errors, reads smoothly, and truly represents you. It also often pays to get someone else to read it and give you constructive feedback.

We hope this guide will help you to create the best personal business degree statement that you can. Best of luck with your applications going forward.

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Writing a Personal Statement

Preparing to Write

Brainstorming, don't forget, sample prompts.

A personal statement is a narrative essay that connects your background, experiences, and goals to the mission, requirements, and desired outcomes of the specific opportunity you are seeking. It is a critical component in the selection process, whether the essay is for a competitive internship, a graduate fellowship, or admittance to a graduate school program. It gives the selection committee the best opportunity to get to know you, how you think and make decisions, ways in which past experiences have been significant or formative, and how you envision your future. Personal statements can be varied in form; some are given a specific prompt, while others are less structured. However, in general a personal statement should answer the following questions:

• Who are you?
• What are your goals?
• How does this specific program/opportunity help you achieve your goals?
• What is in the future?

A personal statement is not:

• A variation of your college admissions essay
• An academic/research paper
• A narrative version of your resume
• A creative writing piece (it can be creative, though)
• An essay about somebody else

Keep in mind that your statement is only a portion of the application and should be written with this in mind. Your entire application package will include some, possibly all, of the materials listed below. You will want to consider what these pieces of the application communicate about you. Your personal statement should aim to tie everything together and fill in or address any gaps. There will likely be some overlap but be sure not to be too repetitive.

• Personal Statement(s)
• Transcripts
• Letters of recommendations
• Sample of written work
• Research proposal

For a quick overview of personal statements, you might begin by watching this "5 Minute Fellowships" video!

If you are writing your first personal statement or working to improve upon an existing personal statement, the video below is a helpful, in-depth resource.

A large portion of your work towards completing a personal statement begins well before your first draft or even an outline. It is incredibly important to be sure you understand all of the rules and regulations around the statement. Things to consider before you begin writing:

• How many prompts? And what are they? It is important to know the basics so you can get your ideas in order. Some programs will require a general statement of interest and a focused supplementary or secondary statement closely aligned with the institution's goals.
• Are there formatting guidelines? Single or double spaced, margins, fonts, text sizes, etc. Our general guideline is to keep it simple.
• How do I submit my statement(s)? If uploading a document we highly suggest using a PDF as it will minimize the chances of accidental changes to formatting. Some programs may event ask you to copy and paste into a text box.
• When do I have to submit my statement(s)? Most are due at the time of application but some programs, especially medical schools, will ask for secondary statements a few months after you apply. In these instances be sure to complete them within two weeks, any longer is an indication that you aren't that interested in the institution.

Below is a second 5 Minute Fellowships video that can help you get started!

Before you start writing, take some time to reflect on your experiences and motivations as they relate to the programs to which you are applying. This will offer you a chance to organize your thoughts which will make the writing process much easier. Below are a list of questions to help you get started:

• What individuals, experiences or events have shaped your interest in this particular field?
• What has influenced your decision to apply to graduate school?
• How does this field align with your interests, strengths, and values?
• What distinguishes you from other applicants?
• What would you bring to this program/profession?
• What has prepared you for graduate study in this field? Consider your classes at Wellesley, research and work experience, including internships, summer jobs and volunteer work.
• Why are you interested in this particular institution or degree program?
• How is this program distinct from others?
• What do you hope to gain?
• What is motivating you to seek an advanced degree now?
• Where do you see yourself headed and how will this degree program help you get there?

For those applying to Medical School, if you need a committee letter for your application and are using the Medical Professions Advisory Committee you have already done a lot of heavy lifting through the 2017-2018 Applicant Information Form . Even if you aren't using MPAC the applicant information form is a great place to start.

Another great place to start is through talking out your ideas. You have a number of options both on and off campus, such as: Career Education advisors and mentors ( you can set up an appointment here ), major advisor, family, friends. If you are applying to a graduate program it is especially important to talk with a faculty member in the field. Remember to take good notes so you can refer to them later.

When you begin writing keep in mind that your essay is one of many in the application pool. This is not to say you should exaggerate your experiences to “stand out” but that you should focus on clear, concise writing. Also keep in mind that the readers are considering you not just as a potential student but a future colleague. Be sure to show them examples and experiences which demonstrate you are ready to begin their program.

It is important to remember that your personal statement will take time and energy to complete, so plan accordingly. Every application and statement should be seen as different from one another, even if they are all the same type of program. Each institution may teach you the same material but their delivery or focus will be slightly different.

In addition, remember:

• Be yourself: You aren’t good at being someone else
• Tragedy is not a requirement, reflection and depth are
• Research the institution or organization
• Proofread, proofread, proofread
• How to have your personal statement reviewed

The prompts below are from actual applications to a several types of programs. As you will notice many of them are VERY general in nature. This is why it is so important to do your research and reflect on your motivations. Although the prompts are similar in nature the resulting statements would be very different depending on the discipline and type of program, as well as your particular background and reasons for wanting to pursue this graduate degree.

• This statement should illustrate your academic background and experiences and explain why you would excel in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering (UMass Amherst - M.S. in Civil Engineering).
• Describe your academic and career objectives and how the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies can help you achieve them. Include other considerations that explain why you seek admissions to the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies and your interests in the environmental field (Yale - Master of Environmental Management).  
• Please discuss your academic interests and goals. Include your current professional and research interests, as well as your long-range professional objectives. Please be as specific as possible about how your objectives can be met at Clark and do not exceed 800 words (Clark University - M.A. in International Development and Social Change).
• Write a 500- to 700-word statement that describes your work or research. Discuss how you came to focus on the medium, body of work, or academic area you wish to pursue at the graduate level. Also discuss future directions or goals for your work, and describe how the Master of Fine Arts in Studio (Printmedia) is particularly suited to your professional goals (School of the Art Institute of Chicago - MFA in Studio, Printmaking).
• Your statement should explain why you want to study economics at the graduate level. The statement is particularly important if there is something unusual about your background and preparation that you would like us to know about you (University of Texas at Austin - Ph.D in Economics).
• Your personal goal statement is an important part of the review process for our faculty members as they consider your application. They want to know about your background, work experience, plans for graduate study and professional career, qualifications that make you a strong candidate for the program, and any other relevant information (Indiana University Bloomington - M.S.Ed. in Secondary Education).
• Your autobiographical essay/personal statement is a narrative that outlines significant experiences in your life, including childhood experiences, study and work, your strengths and aspirations in the field of architecture, and why you want to come to the University of Oregon (University of Oregon - Master of Architecture).
• Personal history and diversity statement, in which you describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. You may refer to any educational, familial, cultural, economic or social experiences, challenges, community service, outreach activities, residency and citizenship, first-generation college status, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual or cultural diversity within a campus community and your chosen field; or how you might serve educationally underrepresented and underserved segments of society with your graduate education (U.C. Davis - M.A. in Linguistics).
• A Personal Statement specifying your past experiences, reasons for applying, and your areas of interest. It should explain your intellectual and personal goals, why you are interested in pursuing an interdisciplinary degree rather than a more traditional disciplinary one, and how this degree fits into your intellectual and personal future (Rutgers University - Ph.D in Women’s and Gender Studies).
• Your application requires a written statement to uploaded into your application and is a critical component of your application for admission. This is your opportunity to tell us what excites you about the field of library and information science, and what problems you want to help solve in this field. Please also tell us how your prior experiences have prepared you for this next step toward your career goals and how this program will help you achieve them (University of North Carolina Chapel Hill - Master of Science in Library Science).
• After watching the video, please describe what strengths and preferences as a learner you have that will facilitate your success in this innovative curriculum. What challenges in our curriculum do you anticipate and what strategies might you use to address these challenges? (MGH Institute of Health Professions PT - They recently redesigned their curriculum)
• Your personal goal statement should briefly describe how you view the future of the field, what your goals are to be part of that future, and what brought you to pursue an advanced education degree in your chosen field. You may include any other information that you feel might be useful. (Northeastern PT)
• Personal Statement: In 500 words or less, describe a meaningful educational experience that affected your professional goals and growth and explain how it impacted you. The educational experience does not need to be related to this degree. Focus on the educational experience and not why you think you would be a good professional in this field. (Simmons PT)
• Personal Statement (500 word minimum): State your reasons for seeking admission to this program at this institution. Include your professional goals, why you want to pursue a career in this field and how admission to this program will assist you in accomplishing those goals. (Regis College Nursing)
• “Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to this type of program.” (AMCAS)
• Address the following three questions(Though there is no set limit, most statements are 1–2 pages, single-spaced.): What are your reasons for pursuing this degree? Why do you wish to pursue your degree at this institution? How do you intend to leverage your degree in a career of this field? (Boston University MPH)
• Please submit a personal statement/statement of purpose of no more than 500 words for the department/degree of choice. Professional degree essays require a clear understanding of the _______ field and how you hope to work within the field. Be sure to proofread your personal statement carefully for spelling and grammar. In your statement, be sure to address the following: what interests you in the field of _____ what interests you in a specific degree program and department at this institution and what interests you in a particular certificate (if applicable). Please also describe how you hope to use your ________ training to help you achieve your career goals. (Columbia PhD in Public Health - Epidemiology)
• Because each Home Program requires significant original research activities in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree, we are interested in obtaining as much information as possible about your previous research experiences. Those who already have such experience are in a better position to know whether they are truly interested in performing ______ research as part of a graduate program. Please include specific information about your research experience in your Statement of Purpose. You may also use the Statement to amplify your comments about your choice of Home Program(s), and how your past experiences and current interests are related to your choice. Personal Statements should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). Make sure to set your computer to Western European or other English-language setting. We cannot guarantee the ability to access your statement if it is submitted in other fonts. (Stanford Biosciences PhD)
• Your statement of purpose should describe succinctly your reasons for applying to the Department of ____ at ___ University. It would be helpful to include what you have done to prepare for this degree program. Please describe your research interests, past research experience, future career plans and other details of your background and interests that will allow us to evaluate your ability to thrive in our program. If you have interests that align with a specific faculty member, you may state this in your application. Your statement of purpose should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). (Stanford Bioengineering PhD)
• Statement of purpose (Up to one page or 1,000 words): Rather than a research proposal, you should provide a statement of purpose. Your statement should be written in English and explain your motivation for applying for the course at this institution and your relevant experience and education. Please provide an indication of the area of your proposed research and supervisor(s) in your statement. This will be assessed for the coherence of the statement; evidence of motivation for and understanding of the proposed area of study; the ability to present a reasoned case in English; and commitment to the subject. (Oxford Inorganic Chemistry - DPhil)

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Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

• Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
• Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
• Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

• Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
• Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
• Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

• Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
• Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
• Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

• Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
• Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
• Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

• Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
• Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
• Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

• Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
• Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
• Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

• Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
• Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
• Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

• Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
• Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
• Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

• 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
• How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
• A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

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